《商务英语写作》

Business English Writing

LECTURE ONE

Contents

A Brief Introduction to BusinessEnglish Writing

Principles of Doing Business Writing

Process of Business Writing

Parts of a Business Letter

3

1

2

3

4

Schoolwriting

6

Introduction

Teacher

To assign a topic or

theme

To see how well

students have learned

about their course

Students

Based on the amount of

knowledge and language

within a period of time

To show the knowledge

and language skill into

a limited space

What to write?

How to write?7

•Need the information but cannotspend much time reading

To communicateinformation

Efficiently Effectively

Unknown and largely newto their readers

writer

Real Intention

reader

Clarity

Courteousness

Completeness

8

Principles of business writing

Correctness

characteristics

Conciseness

Clarity

picturescharts

Use statistical data instead of general words to makeyour information more concrete and convincing

Use of facts, examples, and visual aids

Word choice

Choose short, familiar, and conversationalwords instead of long, unfamiliar ones.

Sentence and paragraph construction

Use short sentences and paragraphs insteadof wordy sentences and lengthy paragraphs.

tabulations

clearness

These breaks stop a 2-ton car within 240 feet.

Theses breaks stop a car within a short distance.

9

e.g.

Don’s say

Substantial

For the purpose of

Domicile

Due to the fact that

Say

soon

If

Often

Since

Word choice

Say

Big

For

Home,house

because

informal

Don’t say

at an early date

In the event that

In many cases

For the reason that

formal

We will write to you at an early date.

In the event that we cannot meet the deadline, we will refund your money.

10

Correct text

Appropriatevocabulary

Words you use mean what theyare supposed to be

Check accuracyof names, figures

and facts

11

Correctnessgrammar,

spelling andpunctuation

Accuratesentencestructure

Grammar usage

Probable reactions to the writing

Courteousness

Considerreader

12

Readers’’needs

Readers’’problems

Readers’’circumstances

Readers’’desires

Readers’’emotions

Probable reactions to the writing

Effective/skillful business writer

How?

You-attitude

Two techniques

收信人的态度

We-attitude

interest concerns

We allow 2 percent discountfor cash payment

I want to send my congratulations...

You earn 2 percent discountwhen you pay cash.

Congratulations to you on

your…

business13

Occasions Declining an order or making complaints

Do not use blunt words or sentences

Tactful way toblame your

readers

Negative-news messages

Blaming the readers

When I smell your food I feel like vomiting.Your service is also poor.

Likely to offend them

14

Examples

Tactful

If I understand yourletter correctly …

As mentioned in myMay 15 letter to you …

Blunt

Your letter is notclear at all. I can’tunderstand it.

Apparently you haveforgotten what I wroteyou two weeks ago …

15

16

Conciseness

What makes this text concise?

It is short.

What do you mean by short?

It doesn't have too many words.

How do you know it doesn't have too many words?

Because it is concise.

Long as necessary

Two criteria

covering all the ideas of keyimportance you have identified

Short as possible

staying as close as you canto the minimum

formula

CO=LS

17

Unnecessaryparagraphsentence

Unnecessary Unnecessaryword

Conciseness

Raise the “cuts”

To write in the fewest possible words withoutsacrificing clarity.

18

Examples

At this point in time, we are sending you a

form for you to fill and mail back to us so that wemay know exactly which products you would likeus to ship to you. Please fill the form and return itto us for your order to be processed.

We are sending you a form for you to fill andmail back to us for your order to be processed.

Please fill and return the enclosed formfor your order to be processed.

19

wordy

concise

considerate

20

Exercise: Concise WritingWordy

We have receivedyour application andwe have passed it onto our HR departmentpeople who will look atit and contact you afterthey have made adecision.

HR: Human resource

Concise

We have receivedyour application.Our HR departmentwill contact you assoon as a decisionhas been made.

you will be fruitfuland therefore look

Exercise: Concise Writing

We think that We look forward tocollaborating with

collaborating with you

fruitful

forward to gettingstarted.

We look forward to a collaboration.

21

Exercise: Concise Writing

We have beenoperating in this fieldfor many years andour experience hasallowed us to come up

with this new produc tidea.

The new product idea is the result of what?

22

This new product ideais the result of manyyears of experience inthis field.

in conciseway

appropriatevocabulary

accuratesentencestructure

23

Summary

effectivebusiness

writing

clear writing

correct writing

organized

consideration

Exercises---Revise SentencesX Unfortunately, your order cannot be sent until next

week. Your order can only be sent next week.

X Your negligence in this matter caused the damage to the equipment. If you had taken proper care of the equipment,it would

have been in a good condition.

X Smoking is not permitted anywhere except in the lobby. Smoking is allowed only in the lobby.

Exercises ---Revise SentencesX We regret to inform you that we must deny your request

for credit. For the time being,we can serve you only on a cash basis.

X We will be pleased to deliver your order by the 16th. Your order will be deliver by the 16th.

X We have worked for 20 years to develop the best model car for our customers.

Our customers will find the best model car which we have spent 20 years to build.

Exercises ---Revise SentencesX We have received your letter of May 16. Thank you for your letter of may 16.

X We have been quite tolerant of your past-due account and must now demand payment.

If you are to continue to enjoy the benefits of credit buying,you must clear your account now.

X We can sell at discount prices,but we cannot permit returns of merchandise.

Though returns of merchandise are unpermissable, you can get discount prices.

Dear Sir:

We are in receipt of your telephone call to my

secretary yesterday complying with your request

about a possible speaking engagement at your

Forthcoming training day.

If it within your power to tell us more details

would be grateful, so that I can see any of our

consultant can fit it into their schedule as per

your request.

Awaiting the favour of your early response.

Exercises---Revise Letter

Dear Sir:

Thank you for your telephone call to my

secretary about a possible speaking

engagement at your forthcoming training day.

I am interested,but would be grateful if you

Would let their have more details so that I

can see any of our consultant can fit it

into their schedule.

I look forward to hearing from you .

Exercises---Revise Letter

Writing Principles of business Letters

Five-steps

1) Preparing

Objective, Reader, Scope

2) Formatting

Layout of the document

3) Organizing

Gathering information, sorting details, and

making outlines.

•What are the five steps in writing?

Writing Principles of business LettersFive-steps

4) Drafting

Start where you feel the most comfortable.

Don’t worry about possible mistakes

Focus on the ideas you want to present.

5) Revising

Check on the overall tone and format.

Ask for advice from colleagues.

sentences paragraphs

Content Form

efficient & appropriate

well-dressed

Business Lettersfirst impression

1. Whether the letter will be actually read

2. Reader’s reaction to the contents of the letter

2

3

Business Letters

Letterform

Style

Envelope

Essential parts

Optional parts

Design and physicalpresentation

Layout

Structure placement

Structures

Heading

Personalletter

Inside address Reader’s address and name

essential parts of a business letter4

letterhead date line

writer’s full address & date

Salutation 称呼语Body

Complimentary close 结尾套语

Signature

name&herepostal

number number

5

Letterhead 信头

web site e-mailaddress

logoTitle inhere

of firm

Title inherefax

addressTitle in

codes

Example

Title intelephonehere

Eastern Textiles Imp. & Exp. Co., Ltd.

12389 Changchun Road, Dalian, China

Tel:XXXXXX Fax: XXXXXX

http://will. nease. net

Email: bcxbcx@411cn. com

trademarkbrief slogan

1st page 2nd page …

Eastern Textiles Imp. & Exp. Co., Ltd. -2-

September 8, 2008

-Page 2-

Eastern Textiles Imp. & Exp. Co., Ltd., September 8, 2008

Eastern Textiles Imp. & Exp. Co., Ltd., -2- September 8, 2008

6

Date Line

BritishEnglish

China

Day

Month Year

Be careful with the date!

AmericanEnglish

08 09 2008the eighth of September

the ninth of August8 September 2008

September 8 2008

th, rd, nd or st

2008-09-08

1.Month should be written in letters

2.Month should be written in full

7

September 27, 2010

leftmargin

lines

Placement

Letterhead

two/three

China Fine Furniture Import & Export Corp.82 Dong’anmen StreetDongcheng Dist., 100009Beijing, China

8

single-spaced

Inside Address

Recipient’s address

the person or the companywho is going to receive the

letter

Windowedenvelope

9

the delivery address onthe envelope

封内地址

Salutationgreeting to your recipient

After

Dear

Dear

associates colleagues10

Sir/(or) Madam

you (xxx)

on first name terms

Dear Mr. / Miss.,

Mr./Mrs./Ms. XXX

know sb. well enough to callthem by their first name…

SalutationAfter America

Dear you/XXX

U.S. Style

,

Re:

:

regarding

with reference to

The salutations can be omitted

11

Salutation

Dear

After

Mr. / MissXXX

Mrs.XXX

safe

Ms.XXX

signature

Dear Miss

Dear Mrs.

How the writer signs herself.

Susan Mayer

Mrs. Susan Mayer

12

Salutation

Title Doctor/Professor Brown Dear Doctor/Professor Brown,

Abbr. Dr./Prof. Dear Dr. / Prof. Brown ,

Manager Dear Manager Brown,

job description

13

Dear Sirs, Dear Madams,

Salutation

More than one person

and they are of thesame gender

14

15

Other Circumstances

“Dear Sir,” or “Dear Madam,”

You are upset with that person

You are really angry with that person. Yourrelationship are going to come to an end.

“Sir,” or “Madam,”

Dear Sir or Madam,

Dear Sir/Madam,

When you don’t know the name andgender of the person you are writing to.

Dear Mrs. Brown,Dear Miss Brown,

When you know the name and you aresure about their signature

Dear Dr. Brown,Dear Prof. Brown,

When the person has a title: doctor,professor or president.

Dear Sir, (or Sir,)Dear Madam, (or Madam,)

When you want to appear cold (or verycold) to the person you are writing to.

Dear Sirs,Dear Madams,

(rare) when writing to more than oneperson of the same gender.

Dear Bob,Dear Mary,

When you are on first name terms withthe person you are writing.

To whom it may concern:敬启者

When you do not know exactly who isgoing to read your letter

16

Summary

Case One

Choose a salutationExercise

Dear Sir/Madam,

You are writing to a travelagent, with whom you havenot dealt before, to inquireabout vocation destinations

for your holidays…

17

ExerciseCase Two

DearDoctor,

Dear Dr.Brown,

You need a medicalcertificate from your doctor

and you write to him…

18

19

Exercise

Dear Mrs. Kurt,

Case Three

You have received aninquiry from a Mrs. HelenKurt and are answering

her letter…

ExerciseCase Four

DearBrenda,Dear Brenda

Brown,Dear Ms.

Brown

Your are writing to BrendaBrown, a new customer youhave been dealing with forthe last couple of weeks…

20

21

Exercise

Dear Sirs,

Case Five

Two lawyers, Mr. Johnsonand Mr. Scott are

representing you in acase. You are writing aletter to both of them…

Dear Peter,

Peter Jackson, a colleague youhave known for many years

and once took a vacation with,wrote to tell you he is coming

to visit you. You areanswering his letter…

22

ExerciseCase Six

Dear Mr.Jackson,

23

ExerciseCase Seven

A woman client has written to youmany times asking for discounts thatyou have repeatedly refused. Youare writing to tell her that you are

very tired of her insistence…

Dear Madam,Madam,

24

ExerciseCase Eight

You are an insurance salesperson and want to offerinsurance policies to as

many people as possible atthe company you are

writing to…

To whom it may concern:

ExerciseCase Nine

A customer has written a very angryletter declaring that he will no

longer deal with you. You write tothis person to remind him that he

still has to pay his bill…

25

DearSir,

Sir,

single- An introduction or an acknowledgement of thespaced previous correspondence if any

double-spaced

The Body3 Paragraphs

1

2Give/inquire about information

3Express a hope or refers to further actioneither by the writer or reader

26

Complimentary CloseHow to open a letter

Salutationthe style shallmatch that of

salutation

How to close a letter

formal

Yours faithfully,

Faithfully yours,

Yours very truly,

semiformalSincerely yours,

Yours sincerely,

Cordially yours,

informalSincerely,

Cordially,

Regards,

Love,27

America

Closegreetings

28

Complimentary close

Best wishes

Yours faithfully

Yours sincerely

Salutations

Dear Sir or Madam

Dear Mrs. Wilson

Dear David

Dear Sir

Dear Ms. Hemsuchi

Your complimentary close should be carefully chosen toagree with the salutation in tone and manner.

name

29

BlockhereTitle in

symbol

Title

Title inheretyped

handwritten

jobdescription

here

SignatureYou know who

signs it.

Yours sincerely,

Pepper Stebbins

Pepper StebbinsMarketing Manager

2 lines

3 lines

Placement……………………

2/3 lines

30

Optional Parts

1

2

4

5

six

The Attention

3

Line指明收件人

The SubjectLine/Heading

主题行

6

Enc(l).: X

CC:/Cc:/cc:

The PostScriptum

附言P.S.:

YW:wy YW/wyThe Reference

Initials作者、打字员姓名缩写

Notation抄送

Encls: X

Enclosure(s) (X)The Enclosure

Notation 附件Encl.: a / s as stated

XC: PC:The Copy

Carbon copy Xerox copy

31

April 5, 2002

The Attention Line

The Subject Line

The Post Scriptum

The Reference Initials

The Enclosure Notation

The Copy Notation

Twolines

Twolines

Twolines

Computer copy

Letter Styles

All its lines from the date linebegin at the left margin

1.Block Style 2.Modified BlockStyle

Punctuation Style

修正齐头式齐头式

简化式3.Simplified Style

most commonAll its parts begin at the left

margin exceptthe dateline, complimentary

close and signature

Abides by the same rulesas block style

32

Title in herepreferences here

Title intraditions

33

Block Style

LETTERHEAD ( 信头 )

DatelineInside Address

SalutationSubject Line

Body of letter

Complimentary close

Signature

*Lettercommunicationwith customers

☺Advantages☺1. Easy and convenient

2. A brisk, business-like appearance

disadvantages

1. Lack of balance

2. It is not appropriatewhen you write to thereaders include olderpersons .

Indented forms

centered

Modified Block Style

LETTERHEAD ( 信头 )

DatelineInside Address

SalutationSubject Line

Body of letter

Complimentary close

Signature

P.S.Encl.CC

34

☺Advantages☺1. Warm and easilyacceptable by olderbusiness readers

disadvantagesMore difficult thanblock styles

2. Looks more balancedin appearance

* Persuasive letterssuch as sales andproposals letters centered

Simplified Style

LETTERHEAD ( 信头 )

Dateline

Inside Address

SUBJECT LINE

in all capitals

in all capitals

SIGNATURE

35

five lines

three linespaces

Body of letter

Emphasize contentsover complimentaryaspects of the letter

Save writer’s time

2. OpenPunctuation

Punctuation Styles

Dear Mr.Emerson:

1. MixedPunctuation

Salutationclose

Yourssincerely,

Salutation Complimentaryclose

Dear Mr.Emerson

Yourssincerely

严式标点

Complimentary

宽式标点

36

formal

37

The Layout of the Envelope

2

Indented form

1

Block form

Standard-sized

P & G Company24 Madison Avenue

Models1. The Blocked Form 齐头式

China National Machinery Import & Export Corp. Stamp36, Jianshan RoadBeijing, 100008People’s Republic of China

Columbus, OH 43004U.S.A

2. The Indented Form 缩进式China National Machinery Import & Export Corp.36, Jianshan RoadBeijing, 100008People’s Republic of China

P & G Company24 Madison Avenue

Columbus, OH 43004U.S.A

38

Stamp

Return Addressdelivery Address

BE Writing

Thank you!