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Running head: MEMORABLE MESSAGES: AN ANALYSIS ON MESSAGING IMPACT1
Memorable Messages: An Analysis on Messaging Impact
Monica Nowak
Central Michigan University
MEMORABLE MESSAGES: AN ANALYSIS ON MESSAGING IMPACT 2
Memorable Messages: An Analysis on Messaging Impact
Introduction
“You can’t start the next chapter of your life if you keep re-reading the last one” (Nowak,
2014, p. 3). This is an example of a memorable message asserted from previous literature from a
mentor that has helped benefit the researcher in their life. Every individual is unique in the way
they view and receive a memorable message. Some people are able to interpret a memorable
message when they hear people’s stories while others may receive their memorable message
directly or in one sentence, similar to the one stated above.
Memorable Messages
Memorable messages, by definition, are remembered for a long period of time and may
or may not influence an individual’s behavior (Nazione, Laplante, Smith, Comacchione, & Stohl,
2006). These messages have been studied in multiple contexts, but they have yet to examine the
memorable messages being told to someone who is in college or asked how it has benefited them
in their life either presently upon receiving the message or later on in their lives.
There are many anecdotes and recollections of similar messages that pique our interest
when these messages are given by our friends, relatives, colleagues, teachers, parents, etc.
Scholars Knapp, Stohl, and Reardon (2006) have said that most memorable messages are
influential statements. Some of these include: (1) “You can’t lead all lives;” (2) “This too shall
pass;” (3) “Some people are pushed through life, others are pulled;” and, (4) “You’ve never been
anything; you aren’t now; and won’t ever be anything.” Other scholars look at memorable
messages as either a brief oral injunction and are known as recalled messages instead of
memorable messages (Stohl, 1986). The recalled messages were generally provided by
MEMORABLE MESSAGES: AN ANALYSIS ON MESSAGING IMPACT 3
individuals with higher status than the recipient, meaning the sender’s credibility seemed to
make it easier to recall and legitimize the message (Stohl, 1986).
Individuals are unique in their mental processes; no two people will look upon the same
memorable message and view it in the same way. Additionally, memorable messages could be
remembered in a negative or positive connotation, but are still able to benefit a person’s life
successfully. It is important to know how people interpret these messages and how they benefit
their lives. Thus, the follow research question is posed:
RQ: How do memorable messages received in college help impact people in their lives?
The current study will investigate how people utilized memorable messages to help them
navigate through their lives and how these experiences relate to different themes. This paper
discusses these memorable messages and provides an overview of memorable messages through
mentoring, how the message is interpreted, and how individuals internalize the message.
Review of Literature
Mentoring through Teachers
Memorable messages are important depending on who is the source of the message, the
method the message was delivered, and the internalization of the receiver on that particular
message. Scholars have even made connections between memorable messages and mentors;
some of which suggest that teachers and instructors are the primary conduits of memorable
messages.
Communication research has focused on mentoring as a “dialogic practice and the
precursor to career success, the effectiveness of mentoring over time, and the impact and mentee
characteristics on the mentoring process” (Wang, 2012, p. 336). According to researcher Wang
(2012) she stresses how there has been less attention on mentoring in communication and
MEMORABLE MESSAGES: AN ANALYSIS ON MESSAGING IMPACT 4
research should study the skills and knowledge mentors transfer through their messages.
Relational researchers Fung and Carstensen (2003) echo this response and look closely at how
teachers are an important figure for delivering memorable messages which hold a constructed,
shared meaning, especially in a teacher-student relationship. Researchers have said that there are
communication behaviors that contribute to an interpersonal relationship the receiver obtains
from the source, that being the teacher (Wang, 2012). Teacher confirmation is an important
aspect because it looks at the process of teachers communicating with children, adults, students,
and elderly, and why these messages are valuable and significant enough for the individual to
remember (Wang, 2012). Teachers choose their words wisely when constructing a message for
someone. For example, if a student needs advice from a teacher about how to do better on a test,
the teacher could tell the student what things to study for and methods on how to study better.
During this time, the teacher could also compliment the student, which could lead to a
memorable message being perceived by the student through this interaction. This then gives the
teacher power and credibility by demonstrating an interpersonal relationship with the student and
showing signs of caring, which includes three factors: empathy, understanding, and
responsiveness (Wang, 2012).
Mentoring through Families
Other scholars argue that the primary source of memorable messages stems from family
socialization, mainly parents, serving as the key mentors. Typically, memorable messages
received in college are visualized as conceptualized success based on a grade point average or
college graduation (Kranstuber, Carr, & Hosek, 2012). Although these measures are important
goals of the college experience and great indicators of college success, research has also
suggested that parental communicative memorable messages are extremely beneficial for great
MEMORABLE MESSAGES: AN ANALYSIS ON MESSAGING IMPACT 5
success in an individual’s life (Kranstuber, Carr, & Hosek, 2012). Scholars have argued that
family socialization and receiving messages from parents are equally long-running and
productive ways of tracing how we learn certain communication skills and strategies through the
interaction with parents and siblings (Medved, Brogan, McClanahan, Morris, & Shepherd,
2006). Memorable messages that come from parents are defined by Medved, Brogan,
McClanahan, Morris, and Shepherd (2006) propose three memorable messages: (1) “Your work
defines you – it makes you who you are;” (2) “Family is unconditional and means more than
anything else;” and (3) “It’s important to establish yourself in a career before you raise a family.”
All these messages carry a meaning that is constructed about work and family. Mothers are
usually the ones who are advising their daughters and providing them with messages about how
to do better in life. However, other scholars argue that a father-daughter relationship is more
beneficial for constructing a memorable message (Dunleavy, Wanzer, Kresmien, & Ruppel,
2011). Dunleavy, Wanzer, Kresmien, and Ruppel (2011) said fathers have a much greater
impact than mothers on a memorable message because daughters obtain information and advice
from their fathers on how a man behaves and interacts in these given situations through her self-
perceptions, thus causing the daughter to remember this message in the future. One scholar
suggested mothers are primary figure for mentoring, especially when a daughter is going through
her pregnancy period. Researchers say receiving a memorable message about motherhood is a
representation of a new role in a woman’s life (Hesiler & Butler-Ellis, 2008). Even though
teachers and parents both evoke memorable messages, memorable message are told in a
multitude of unique ways which have different impacts on different individuals.
Storytelling and Self-Disclosure
MEMORABLE MESSAGES: AN ANALYSIS ON MESSAGING IMPACT 6
Memorable messages are interrupted in different ways either the receiver of the message
remembers it through storytelling and self-disclosure, or through computer mediated messages.
Storytelling and self-disclosure are linked together to show how memorable messages are
remembered. Scholars suggested memorable messages are told in storytelling methods because
human beings learn from other experiences, or even their own (Harris & Barnes, 2006). A story
is a creation of indelible messages and a container of important life lessons (Harris & Barnes,
2006). Stories are able to entertain, teach, and inspire. They ultimately are the greatest source for
teaching others and offering advice (Harris & Barnes, 2006). Metaphors are also linked to create
an understanding principle to give depth and substance to a memorable message. For example, if
a student did well on an essay they wrote for an English course, a mentor could say to the
student, “The paper winked at you with satisfaction.” That message would then be remembered
by the student because they had substantial success with their paper. Metaphorical messages are
memorable due to their creative approach and making it understandable and relatable to the
individual. Maclachlan (1983) said that a message needs to be familiar to your audience and
build on points of agreement. Additionally, storytelling holds motivation aspect to mediate the
relationship between the source and the receiver and to contribute to increased self-esteem
(Knapp, Stohl, & Reardon, 2006).
Computer Mediated Messages
Other scholars argue that memorable messages are remembered by computer mediated
methods. The advent of the internet has granted an array of ways to send memorable messages
including chat rooms, newsgroup, mailing list, social media platforms, and text-based
atmospheres. These tactics are collectively known as computer-mediated communication
(Ensher, Heun, & Blanchard, 2003). Research has significantly increased within these sites and
MEMORABLE MESSAGES: AN ANALYSIS ON MESSAGING IMPACT 7
has even worked its way into both group and individual settings. What this means is when a boss
sends a message to the rest of his co-workers to compliment them on their achievements or hard
work, the rest of the co-workers may feel proud about that message which boosts their self-
esteem. There might even be someone in that group who influenced them to work hard and took
it as a memorable message. Memorable messages are usually conducted in a face-to-face
interaction, but the message can also be experienced through a text message (Dunleavy & Yang,
2015). Dunleavy and Yang (2015) have experienced memorable messages by student athletes
and explored how memorable messages delivered by coaches from high school athletes caused at
least one of the athletes to treasure it as an important message because it motivated and provided
social support. Moreover, Dunleacy and Yang (2015) researchers studied how memorable
messages were conducted among freshmen sorority girls in a group text message. The results
showed that the girls in the group messages felt support and encouragement and were motivated
by the messages to do their best work in college. However, other scholars argue that memorable
messages are short and simple sentences that get right to the point and trigger a light bulb effect
that does not occur within written communication (Stohl, 1986). Research Stohl (1986) say the
strength of hearing a message in person is much stronger than seeing a message because the
memory and brain can remember messages which are transmitted orally.
Decision-Making and Self-Assessment
Although memorable messages may be interpreted differently and people usually
remember the message depending on its source, scholars predict memorable messages are
internalized in a few varied ways including through decision-making processes and self-
assessment. Studies show several people who remembered a memorable message ended up being
influenced by them into making decisions in their life. Many people use different strategies when
MEMORABLE MESSAGES: AN ANALYSIS ON MESSAGING IMPACT 8
making decisions in their life depending on their level of comfort and prior motivations. Making
decisions involves using multiple strategies in an adaptive way to balance goals of achievement
(Payne, Bettman, Coupey, & Johnson, 1992). Decisions are made under the influence of expert
advice. For example, a father giving advice to his son about what to do on a first date with a girl
is an example of expert advice. The advice given by the parent to the son will help him
understand his choices and what he needs to do because the father has gone through these steps
himself.
Barge and Schlueter (2004) conceptualized decision making and advice-taking consists of
a three-step cognitive process: (1) the valuation of advice; (2) the assessment of the “opinion
difference” or in this case the comparison between an advisor’s opinion and one’s own opinion;
and (3) the process of combining valuation and the opinion difference resulting in actual advice
utilization. When it comes to the first process, the valuation of advice, this type of advice is well-
established and there are more people using advice from experts to a greater degree than advice
from novices (Barge & Schlueter, 2004). An explanation of this phenomenon is the fact that the
strong influence of expert advice is why people value it more than novice advice, even before
they actually make a decision and discover the outcome of their decision (Barge & Schlueter,
2004). The areas of our brains represent value when receiving this information and also represent
value when people discover they will be receiving either expert or novice advice (Barge &
Schlueter, 2004). The second process, when people receive an advisor’s opinion, they compare it
to their initial opinion which could potentially spark a memorable message. This is the process
known as “comparison an opinion difference” (Barge & Schlueter, 2004). The opinion difference
is used when judging whether or not and to what degree a person is influenced by the advice.
Having more of an influence will result in them holding onto that message for a longer time
MEMORABLE MESSAGES: AN ANALYSIS ON MESSAGING IMPACT 9
making the message memorable (Barge & Schlueter, 2004). Conversely, if the advisor’s opinion
disagrees with the person’s initial opinion, their opinion difference is high and the individual is
less influenced by the advice (Barge & Schlueter, 2004). Lastly, regarding the process of
combining valuation and opinion difference was clearly identified by researchers Barge and
Schlueter (2004) and represented the behavioral influence of advice. When a person receives
advice, the neural signal within this area should strictly reflect the consideration of the size of the
opinion difference and the expertise level of the advisor relative to each other. In other words,
there should be an interaction between the expertise level of an advisor and the quota of the
opinion difference.
Not only has decision making played a key role in what people should do with the
memorable message they received, but it is also affected through self-assessment. Previous
research on memorable messages simply asked people to recall messages that they perceived to
have had a major influence on their lives, but did not necessarily look at how it constructs to self-
assessment. Self-assessment looks at the ability to self-assess one’s strengths and weaknesses in
order to ensure and motivate the drive of one’s self (Rudy, Fejfar, Griffith, & Wilson, 2001).
Rudy, Fejfar, Griffith, and Wilson (2001) look closely at self-assessment as a way to look at
behaviors and attitudes which function between the comparison and values represented by
memorable messages (Rudy, Fejfar, Griffith, & Wilson, 2001). Scholars Smith & Ellis-Butler
(2001) see memorable messages as part of a complex system, to look at prior behaviors and
events taken in someone’s life before assessing the memorable message. Both negative and
positive events could be happening in someone’s life that may provoke negative memorable
messages (Smith & Ellis-Butler, 2001). In Smith and Ellis-Butler (2001) study, their initial
investigation of memorable messages looked at the behaviors that either exceeded or violated
MEMORABLE MESSAGES: AN ANALYSIS ON MESSAGING IMPACT 10
respondent’s personal standards to be catalogued in order to gain a complete image of the types
of memorable messages that are used as guides to behavior. The researchers made sure to pay
close attention to personal standards such as the place, time, and with whom these behaviors
occurred (Smith & Ellis-Butler, 2001). This information will be valuable and predict why these
memorable messages were relevant at a specific point in someone’s life.
Methods and Procedure
Six participants were interviewed and examined to understand what and how individual
memorable messages received in college have impacted their lives. To be eligible for this study,
participating individuals had to have received the message during their college years either from
school or outside school, have the message that was told, and how it did or did not impact their
life. The researcher’s primary means of quota, convenience sampling was completed through
texting. Individuals considered for the study were easily accessible to the researcher and required
specific characteristics. The researcher contacted people via text message with the message
provided:
Hey, would you or someone you may know like to be part of a research project? I am doing a
qualitative research project and need to conduct six 30-45 minute interviews. These interviews
will be conducted face-to-face, via Skype, or over the phone. If you are interested or know
somebody who may be interested, please contact me and spread the love. Thanks!
The researcher successfully contacted fifteen people, but many of the interviewees were
unable to participate in the research because of work, school, or time constraint conflicts. As a
result, the researcher narrowed down the options and finally had a total of six participants. The
participants were contacted via telephone and asked to participate in a study exploring the
meaning behind their memorable messages.
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The interviews were conducted using a different communication medium for each
individual. The first individual was Denise, a medical assistant who participated in the interview
over the telephone. The telephone was placed on speakerphone mode. The second individual
interviewed was Dr. Srauy, an assistant professor at Oakland University (OU), and his interview
was conducted at OU’s campus in his evening graduate class. The third was Kaylie, an instructor
at Central Michigan University who teaches an introduction to communication course, and took
place face-to-face at her apartment. The fourth was Hubert, a first-generation senior college
student at OU, who participated through an over the phone interview, similar to Denise. The fifth
individual was Dr. Almodovar, a gastroenterologist who participated in a face-to-face interview
which took place in her medical office. The last individual interviewed was Jonathan, a graduate
from OU, who participated in the interview via Skype.
All interviews were audio recorded for future transcription. The interviews were semi-
structured and lasted 22 minutes to 47 minutes. The questions included in the interviews started
out with general questions about memorable messages that were inspired from the literature and
more specific and probing questions were asked within the interview depending on what
information was provided. Some of the primary questions were as followed: (1) When you were
asked to think about a memorable message from your college experience, what came to mind?
(2) Do you recall the exact words of the message? (3) What was going on in your life at that time
that made the message relevant to you? (4) What was your opinion of the source of the message
(e.g., the person who said it to you at the time)? (5) How did the message affect you (e.g., did it
have any impact on your actions or your attitude either immediately or later on)? (6) How has
this message continued to resonate with you? (e.g., is it something you think about from time to
time)? Follow-up questions were asked in addition to the primary questions as well.
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All participants included different age, race, and ethnicity. Jonathan, Hubert, and Kaylie
were in their early twenties, Denise and Dr. Almodovar were in their late 50s, and Dr. Srauy was
in his mid-thirties. Jonathan and Kaylie are African-American, Dr. Almodovar is Hispanic, Dr.
Srauy is Asian, Hubert is Caucasian and Polish, and Denise was Caucasian with roots of
German, Swedish, and Romanian. The diverse individuals made the study more prominent in
obtaining memorable messages from when they were all in college.
Coding Procedures
After the interviews had been administered, the researcher transcribed and summarized
the interviews as detailed. Once transcribed, the data was coded for common themes using
Grounded Theory Model (Rubin & Rubin, 2012). Once selected, the common themes were
identified and analyzed further in detail.
Interpretation
The content analysis, in which coding categories were informed by the literature and
derived directly from the data, was employed. One key theme which was described and related to
memorable messages was effective mentoring impacting decision-making in life. Described
within this theme are specific behaviors and interactions which relate to how memorable
messages have helped them effectively or ineffectively in their life. The overarching theme
existed with all six participants and looked closely at the effective mentoring and decision
making choice in each individual’s life.
Effective Mentoring and Decision-Making:
Effective mentoring leading to decision-making is a common theme embedded with the
narrative dialogue of the individuals. All of the participants did have a mentor or someone who
was an older figure give the memorable message. Six out of the six participants looked closely at
MEMORABLE MESSAGES: AN ANALYSIS ON MESSAGING IMPACT 13
the exchange of knowledge with that mentor provided and reconsidered what it was they were
doing with their life when they received their memorable message.
Participant #1: Denise.
Denise’s memorable message was by her English professor from OU which stated,
“What the hell are you doing?” This memorable message was something that has spoke to
Denise and has impacted her in her life. Denise explains:
...I was ready to get ready to quit college because I wanted to get married…[the message]
wasn’t relevant to me until probably twenty-two years later when I was going through a
divorce and realized that I didn’t have any marketable skills to support my wealth of my
kids in college or life, so that’s when it became really relevant. I was scared and that
particular time in my life and I was labeled as a displaced housewife. Not a divorced
woman, but a displaced housewife. I think that label was something that made me realize
something. It made me open my eyes up and [be] angry and livid. I kept telling myself,
no that’s not me and I am smart...Yes I had jobs…it wasn’t like I was a stay at home
mom. I was very active. But finally when it ended what was I suppose to do? That was
when it finally became relevant and the message of, ‘what the hell are you doing?’
emerged in my life (Nowak, 2015a, p. 3).
The dialogic narrative of Denise and reconsidering what she is doing with her life was an
indication of what other scholars have said about effective mentoring and decision-making.
Research Wang (2012) suggests that teacher mentors’ messages are most memorable because
they are represented as a person who they can go to advice and are able to see something special
about that person as they develop and grow over time. Similarly, Denise was the same way
MEMORABLE MESSAGES: AN ANALYSIS ON MESSAGING IMPACT 14
because she obtained advice from her professor and had realized that she did not need a man in
order to move forward with her life.
Participant #2: Dr. Srauy.
The theme of effective mentoring and decision-making was also presented with Dr. Srauy
and his memorable message came from his boss who owned a company called Complete
Computive, a technology consulting firm. His boss stated, “Don’t worry about what to do, worry
about why you are doing it.” Dr. Srauy’s message was especially relevant to him when he was in
graduate school. Dr. Srauy explains:
You know like in your undergrad you are taught kind of what the answers are? Well, in a
very large way we teach you to think critically about them but we have these sort of
‘testing struggling’ that kind of tests you what you are doing…so instead of looking at
just the definition of race, we are learned in grad school why it is a social construction
and who constructed it…those questions become more important and I think that’s when
you learn to do that…[you] realize [the memorable messages] really are just magic boxes
that you can look into things even more closely (Nowak, 2015b, p. 2).
Dr. Srauy’s decision making process from his mentor was to always think critically and
ask the ‘why’ questions in life. Researcher Wang (2012) says teachers understand more about
mentoring as a way to enrich the understanding of how to effectively translate and communicate
these behaviors into someone’s life. Similarly, Dr. Srauy did the same when he was in graduate
school. Later on in his interview, he mentioned how he passed down this memorable message to
his current undergraduate students and raises the question why things are the way they are.
Participant #3: Kaylie.
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Kaylie’s memorable message was given electronically through her CMU email from her
communication professor in her introduction to communication course. Her message stated,
“You did a good job on your speech and I understand your apprehension but you are a good
speaker and you are well-liked by your classmates. Just relax and it will be easier.” In Kaylie’s
interview, she said the message was a nice gesture but she does not believe that the message is
the sole reason where she is in her life right now. Kaylie said:
I was an interior design major and even apart from that I had a lot of problem public
speaking in front of people. My confidence was very low at the time. Getting this
message helped me, well I still didn’t believe it, but it still planted the seed in my head
‘maybe you are good at this’ so it was relevant because it kind of countered what I had
thought of myself and it was just encouragement…Honestly I would have preferred
getting [the message] in email because, no offense to him, but he was dry and I feel his
words wouldn’t mean anything in person (Nowak, 2015c, p. 2).
When asking Kaylie if she would pass down the message to others, it seemed as though
from her responses she would not pass it down. But surprisingly her answer showed otherwise.
She said:
Actually I would [pass down the message] and I do pass it down to other people. Well
even now, I have a student in my COM 101 class that is terrified of speaking in front of a
class and this something I was most excited about when I got the opportunity to teach…I
compliment my students both face-to-face and email…people can’t see the end of the
road but if they can see that you were there before, then the message is really important
(Nowak, 2015c, p. 8).
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Ensher, Heun, and Blachard (2003) echoed this and said that memorable messages can
come from emails from a boss which emphasizes project work and also navigates and
compliments when a group has done a good job on a project. Similarly, Kaylie’s memorable
message came from a teacher instead of a boss. Additionally, like Dr Srauy, Kaylie passes down
her memorable messages to her students. The only major difference is that her message was
given via email.
Participant #4: Hubert.
Hubert’s memorable message was told by his creative writing professor at OU and her
words were clear, “Sometimes the student becomes the teacher.” In Hubert’s interview, there
was a clear indication that the message had an impact on his life to reconsider his major. Hubert
explains:
The message had a tremendous impact on me. This was a professor, pursuing her own
dreams of publishing a novel, giving me a message that made me feel like my success
and pursuit of the craft inspired her to really go for it as well. I was originally pursuing a
business degree, but after having Marie Masters and her creative writing course, plus
receiving such an awesome message from a person I admired, I changed my major from
business to English and have never looked back. Doubts that used to exist no longer exist
anymore. I’m confident I’m pursuing the correct course with my life and the message I
received helped me realize that my dreams weren’t impossible. In fact, they never felt
more possible. If anything, my dreams have grown exponentially since that one faithful
day (Nowak, 2015d, p. 3).
The message was extremely important to him and it was so important it shifted his career
path to become an English major. Hubert also makes note earlier in the interview how intelligent
MEMORABLE MESSAGES: AN ANALYSIS ON MESSAGING IMPACT 17
his professor was and all the things he has learned from her. People who are inclined to be
decision makers encounter people with in-depth knowledge who can provide high quality advice,
and less-informed people provide advice of a lesser quality (Barge & Schlueter, 2004).
Furthermore, both Dr. Srauy, and Kaylie said in their interview that they would pass along this
message to others. Likewise, Hubert said he would pass down his message as well and stated:
It might seem silly, but it’s pretty important to me. The harder I work now, the more
success I have during the course of my lifetime, the more that message would mean to a
young student. If I become a great author, I mean truly great, I feel like bestowing a
young writer with that same exact message would really pan out well. It would show
them that despite who I am and how much I’ve accomplished; I see something in their
work. Something acknowledgeable. I would only hope that if I ever do get the chance to
give this message to another, it would have the same incredible impact on them as it did
on me (Nowak, 2015d, p. 6).
Seeing that Hubert wants to be a mentor for someone else’s life shows how effective it is
to carry the message from someone who has said the meaningful words which motivated him to
do his best work. Researcher Wang (2012) explained mentors are effective in increasing
students’ self-esteem and helping them reach their potential. Just like Hubert would like to boost
someone’s self.
Participant #5: Dr. Almodovar.
Dr. Almodovar’s message came from a professor from the University of Alabama when
she was working on her fellowship and her message stated, “Pursue your dreams but to also
nourish my soul and not forget to continue working on relationships with my coworkers and co-
MEMORABLE MESSAGES: AN ANALYSIS ON MESSAGING IMPACT 18
students. Never to be pretentious or anything like that but to always carry a good relationship
with other people in my life because life is short.” Dr. Almodovar’s message helped her realize
and decide what she really wanted in life, and that was to be a great mom and help her three
children with a similar message she received. The message she told her kids was:
Oh definitely to work hard, never expect anything to just fall from the sky, and to be
humble. I guess that is three messages but they all fit into just one message for me. I want
my kids to be humble about their gifts and to never rub your talents to other students.
That’s not a wise thing to do. You should be really humble and quiet about your gifts,
don’t advertise your gifts. But of course if someone asks for your help, then they should
be happy to help them but they shouldn’t rub it in and say how amazing you are, right?
So that’s what I wanted my kids to do (Nowak, 2015e, p. 5).
Dr. Almodovar decision-making process classified her into being different identities. She
is a doctor when it comes to her work, a wife to her husband, and a mother to her kids. In her
interview, she mentioned how her favorite job is being a mom and making that decision in using
the message she received for her kids was one of the best decisions she has ever done and she
thanks her mentor for that message. Although many scholars view it as mentors, scholars Lench
and Levine (2005) say that mentors are those who emphasize their need to provide both positive
and negative feedback. The researchers say protégés fit the better description because it focuses
on only positive feedback (Lench & Levine, 2005). In this case, Dr. Almodovar only provided
positive feedback making her a protégé.
Participant #6: Jonathan.
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The last and final participant, Jonathan, received his memorable message at the 2014
Spring Commencement at OU from an OU alum who received the “Meritorious Achievement
Award.” Although Jonathan did not recall the exact words of the message he did say that the
message was mostly about encouraging the entire graduating class to look beyond just achieving
a good career or steady income, and to do something for those within the OU community.
Jonathan explained how the message was relevant to him in shaping and giving back to OU. He
said:
…when Charlie revealed that he was just as clueless about what he wanted to do
with the rest of his life, I was slightly comforted by his words. However, what he said
afterwards about doing more than just getting a steady job spoke to me, because there is a
lot more to life than just achieving wealth. Our community and the people that we
surround ourselves with should always come first...I feel as if his message really
impacted me later on in my senior year at Oakland University because I was still a junior
at the time, while he was on his way to graduating. However, as I was approaching my
own graduation, I had often thought about how I could give back to the OU community.
Then, a few weeks after I received my degree, I’d heard that OU’s Horizon League was
in need of camera operators and video production specialists. These were two areas of
interest that I had studied at Oakland University, so I figured this was the perfect way I
could give back to the school which had already given so much to me (Nowak, 2015f, p.
2 & 4).
Jonathan took the words of the OU alum and applied the words to his life and reached a
decision not to worry about where his life would take him. According to Payne, Bettman,
Coupey, and Johnson (1992), goal setting and career paths are linked with decision-making
MEMORABLE MESSAGES: AN ANALYSIS ON MESSAGING IMPACT 20
process because it is the concept of mentoring. Guiding people through tough situations, such as
their career path being unknown, will demonstrate the mentor caring for other individuals and
increasing their difficult challenges contributed to students’ growth (Payne, Bettman, Coupey, &
Johnson, 1992). Jonathan gave back to the community by landing a job at OU and being happy
with his outcome so far post-graduation. He listened to the words of the OU alum and
remembered those words until after he graduated which could in turn lead to Jonathan also being
a great mentor.
Limitations
One limitation of the present study is that it considers only a total of six semi-structured
interviews which is a clear indication that there could more data saturation to develop additional
themes and concepts related to memorable messages. Furthermore, while this study is useful in
understanding how memorable messages helped impact someone’s life and their decision-
making for the future, longitudinal and relational turning point studies could better capture how
mentoring relationships are built over time. Additionally, if the participants were asked to keep a
diary of their progress with their mentors, it could reveal their everyday communication and
more effectively look at how that memorable message was framed over the course of a year.
Further Research
Previous research has examined the implications of memorable messages through
computer mediated messages; however there is still little research within this field but it is being
explored more. Future research is needed to explore the effects computer mediated memorable
messages have on people and how it has helped them within their life would be another
important avenue of study. Additionally, a longitudinal study following individuals receiving
memorable messages on social media sites and their progress in life would be an area of interest
MEMORABLE MESSAGES: AN ANALYSIS ON MESSAGING IMPACT 21
as well. The effects of social media on people receiving memorable messages would add further
insight into the decision-making process and self-assessment of someone’s life.
Additionally, this study brought up questions of possible connections between Control
Theory. Control Theory explains an individual’s attempt to recognize inconsistency or gap
between their current state, and to take action and motivate oneself to narrow down the gap
(Nazione, Laplante, Smith, Comacchione, & Stohl, 2006). Further research into how control
theory plays a role in memorable messages would be needed to expand this study.
Another expansion would be to look closer at how these memorable messages lead to an
individual’s job satisfaction. Even though in the present study, most of the participants have
successfully landed a job in their life, more emphasis on job satisfaction is necessary. There is
researcher suggesting how first-generation students lead a successful career but little research on
non first-generation.
MEMORABLE MESSAGES: AN ANALYSIS ON MESSAGING IMPACT 22
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MEMORABLE MESSAGES: AN ANALYSIS ON MESSAGING IMPACT 26
Memorable Messages InterviewDenise MillerNovember 9, 2015
M: Hey Denise, long time no see right? What was it like 2 weeks ago? Haha
D: Well hello miss Nowak, or should I say Professor Nowak?! When are you gonna be official?
M: Official as in an actual professor?
D: Well duh
M: Ehh, I’m not sure that’s gonna happen honestly
D: What?! Why?! You always said you’re gonna do it, what changed?
M: Well, I mean I would love to get it but it is super stressful and I am not even sure if this is
what I want to even do for the rest of my life. Well no, I love teaching, it’s great, it’s awesome.
But as far as going through PhD, I honestly have no idea. It is so hard and it is a lot of work and
I’m not sure if it’s even worth to go through all of that and the once you are done with getting a
PhD, that is if I do it, then I have to start searching for jobs and that is a whole other process and
it’s crazy. But anyway this isn’t about me, this is about you haha. So you ready?
D: Monica, you are so smart and on top of it beautiful and you will be successful with whatever
it is that you do, even if it isn’t a PhD.
M: Whoa whoa, you HAVE to say that because you won’t say anything bad haha. But it’s ok I
get it.
D: Well no, I mean it. You will do so great.
M: Alright you ready? Ohh I’m like a little nervous haha. I don’t know why.
D: Wait why are YOU nervous?
M: I don’t know. I just am. But ok, time to get serious. When you were asked to think about a
memorable message from your college experience, what came to mind?
MEMORABLE MESSAGES: AN ANALYSIS ON MESSAGING IMPACT 27
D: Well the first thing that comes to my mind is when I was ready to get ready to quit college
because I wanted to get married. And a professor of mine, an English professor, um, said to me,
quote on quote, what the hell do you think you are doing? You’re smart, you’re intelligent, why
would you want to be dependent on a another person for your finances, your way of living, when
you can be an independent woman and educated and therefore take care of yourself
M: And who was this person who said this to you?
D: She was my English professor at Oakland University and I can’t remember her name.
M: Do you still stay in contact with that professor?
D: No, but I do wish I did stay in contact with her. I really do because there has been times
where I think about her message and wish I could just talk to her and ask her for some more
advice other things that were happening to that statement, like oh my god, budgets, or something.
I really at that particular time in my life, did not how to budget. I mean I was a young college
student and of course I was perusing business, and we haven’t gotten to the accounting. So there
were times when she would always tell me, “no you’re wrong” and I never really understood
what she meant when she told me that, but I guess now I understand it.
M: Would you stay in contact with this professor if you had the chance? I’m not sure if she
retired or what?
D: Oh yeah I definitely would. At one point I wanted to contact her when I moved back to the
area, and she was already gone, I couldn’t even remember her name and oh my gosh if I did see
her I would probably know who it is but it’s almost like…someday I will come across her name
and that’s it, but it wasn’t some weird Polish name or something that’s for sure. Haha.
M: haha. Thanks Denise. So what was going on in your life at that time that made the message
relevant to you? Either in your personal life or whatever you wanna say.
MEMORABLE MESSAGES: AN ANALYSIS ON MESSAGING IMPACT 28
D: Well a lot haha. I was ready to get ready to quit college because I wanted to get married. It
wasn’t relevant to me until probably twenty-two years later when I was going through a divorce
and realized that I didn’t have any marketable skills to support my wealth of my kids in college
or life, so that’s when it became really relevant. I was scared and that particular time in my life
and I was labeled as a displaced housewife. Not a divorced woman, but a displaced housewife. I
think that label was something that made me realize something. It made me open my eyes up and
angry and livid. I kept telling myself, no that’s not me and I am smart. I was a gymnastics coach
and an accountant for a doctor. I had all these responsibilities including cooking and cleaning as
well. Yes I had jobs. Oh I also was a waitress at the time. It wasn’t like I was a stay at home
mom. I was very active. But finally when it ended what was I suppose to do? That was when it
finally became relevant and the message of, what the hell are you doing? emerged in my life.
M: Alrighty. What was your opinion of the source of the message? In other words the person
who said it to you at the time, do you have your own opinion about this person? Did you think
she was crazy or what was going on in your head?
D: Oh yeah. I thought she was crazy for sure. When I was not married at the time, I remember
thinking, whatever you’re an old maid, you don’t know what you’re talking about, um, cause I
was only 18 years old, you’re an old maid, you never been in love, it was total immature thinking
on my part like oh my god, you don’t know anything and then years later I regretted those words,
oh my god you’re an old maid, because I did, you know and I did say those things. And that’s
how I felt at the time, like psh, you old woman, you don’t know anything. Just kind of like those
teenagers who think they know everything right now, sort of like that kind of thinking.
M: how did this message affect you? So did it have any impact on your actions or your attitude –
either immediately or later on? If so, what impact did it have?
MEMORABLE MESSAGES: AN ANALYSIS ON MESSAGING IMPACT 29
D: Yes, it did and I decided to go back to school after that.
M: Did you go back to Oakland or somewhere else?
D: No, no no. That particular time when I was getting a divorce, I have moved and this was with
my first husband, and I moved and then I went to business school in Colorado cause I lived in
Florida because I lived in there before I finally moved to California. And…I um… when I
moved to California to pursue accounting and income tax and so I had varies positions such as
office managers. I learned how to put business and things that I should have learned when I was
in school and I also learned medical billing or coding. Her message really inspired me to go back
to school and I was, I was 40, you know, and I was scared.
M: did you feel out of place?
D: Oh yeah. Like, oh yeah. My kids were in college at the time and here am I also in college at
40. And my oldest daughter was in college and I was 40. My youngest daughter was in high
school and it was like, helloooo what are you doing?! But it inspired me to not be that displaced
house wife and to say, what the hell are you doing?!
M: Has this message continued to resonate with you? Like is it something that you still think
about from time to time? Or is it something that you just don’t care about?
D: Yes. I have given this message to my girls, all three of them. And this is not a feminist
statement, this is just a personal statement but you don’t need a man for your financial support,
your mental support, your feel good support, I want you to be a strong independent woman…I
also tried to tell them to think about it with the what the hell are you doing message and to think
about your actions. As far as education, for me I was about life skills, you know what are you
going to do for the rest of your life. I at the time thought, oh I am going to be a housewife,
mother for the rest of my life and just be Betty Crocker and that is something these girls. It
MEMORABLE MESSAGES: AN ANALYSIS ON MESSAGING IMPACT 30
always turns out so make sure that you always have a back-up plan. One of the best back up
plans is to educate yourself and you don’t have to depend on anyone. You don’t need a guy and
you don’t need that man to help you with that stuff. If you find a loving relationship, then that’s
the big leap you have to make. One of my girls took a leap and she is success with her life, and
the other one didn’t, like her mama, and now she is struggling and she is married and she wishes
she could go back and do it over again. I mean she is still married and she is happy but I wish she
just took her time before all the decisions she made.
M: What advice or memorable message would you give to someone other than your daughters?
D: Like you Monica? I would say to you because I do consider you part of my family, even
know you are off at Central now, and even though you’re not blood, um…you are…you really
are. You never give up and I don’t ever want you to say stuff like, I’m not good enough, even if
it’s the little-little stuff. I don’t ever want to hear you say, I’m not smart enough or I can’t do
this. You are very generous and fortune to have such a blessed family and they have shaped you
into a beautiful, young woman. Don’t ever give up and follow those dreams because it is
extremely important, so important to love what you do. So if you hear yourself saying, “what the
hell am I doing?” then you’re using your head and you know you’re turning your life around. I
hate to hear negative vibes from people who are so bright.
M: Was there someone who discouraged you or made you wanna quit?
D: Well I wanted my daughter to find out who she is on her own. Her husband at the time
wanted to get married quickly and have kids and do the whole support thing and all that good
stuff and my message to him is now, what the hell are YOU doing? I wish she discovered herself
on her own rather than just jumping so quickly into marriage and the only way to be educated is
to learn from yourself. Now, I am not saying you HAVE to go to college to be educated, but
MEMORABLE MESSAGES: AN ANALYSIS ON MESSAGING IMPACT 31
what I am saying it is important to establish yourself as a person so that you know what you want
so that when you do meet someone it is a partnership and not have one that is dominating. I want
you to be able to be a partnership. Sometimes it doesn’t work, but it’s ok, that doesn’t mean it’s
the end of the world. Am I making any sense or am I just rambling?
M: yeah, yeah. You are.
D: Ok because I wasn’t sure and I don’t want to keep rambling on and on and not make any
sense.
M: Are you for or against sororities or frats and how does it apply to your memorable message?
D: I have girls. I do not like sororities, because my experience with them was that the sorority
sisters had to communicate and interact with other sororities or other groups of people and
everything had to be approved by the people and I am really against that. I really am. My girls
got approached by sorority girls but I did not approve it because they were very intelligent and I
did not want them to get brain washed by this lifestyle. Both of them came to me for advice and I
did reject this because I really should have had them make the decision on their own. I don’t
want to be that mom that told her daughters what they can or cannot do. I kind of reject that
because the whole point of college is to figure out who you are and to be yourself and to learn
about yourself and yet as a parent I took over that role. I had it set that they were going to do this
and this because I felt this certain way and I wanted them to live that certain way. That is not a
positive message to give to your daughters. I should have let them do what they wanted to do and
be a good mom and ask them, do you want to [do this]? You should really think about it and if
you’re on the fence than there is nothing wrong with that either. I should have allowed them to
do it or not do it and have them do that their decision.
M: Where you in a sorority or anything?
MEMORABLE MESSAGES: AN ANALYSIS ON MESSAGING IMPACT 32
D: No, no I was never in one. I did pledge.
M: And how was that?
D: It was all the hazing experiences back then and uh, I can’t even remember the sorority, I can
see the numbers but I can’t see it, but anyway, I can remember talking to someone while I was a
pledge, and they would see me talking to other girls and they would say, no, no, no we do NOT
talk to those girls. THOSE people? Who are THOSE people? That happened to be a friend of
mine and she was not one of those people and from that day on I was totally against it. I just
didn’t really like it, and of course you had to understand that we were all different in the 70s.
And calling people those people is almost like calling them racist at the time. So it was totally a
different period protests and didn’t want to be part of the establishment, more in the eyes of most
college students and there you go.
M: Is there anything else that you would like to add? In general?
D: My memorable message I would give to someone is to just stop and take a breath and think
about what it is that you want to achieve because it is very very difficult once you are my age
and it is very hard because I never accomplished the things that I thought I might or dreams I had
when I was growing up because of my choices. Again, my second husband didn’t allow me to do
a lot of the things I wanted to do. I think he saw me as show piece or something. Of course I was
a lot skinnier back then but um that was my reject and you don’t wanna be my age and look back
at all this and then say, what the hell are you doing?
MEMORABLE MESSAGES: AN ANALYSIS ON MESSAGING IMPACT 33
Memorable Messages InterviewDr. SrauyNovember 12. 2015
M: So basically my paper is about the most memorable messages that you have received in
college and how it has helped you in somewhat way in your life. So are we ready to get started?
S: Yes professor
M: Well well, let’s not get carried away that is YOUR title haha. Ok so when you were asked to
think about a memorable message from your college experience, what came to mind?
S: Academically?
M: It can be anything you want. It doesn’t have to be academically it can be anything that has
helped you in the long run.
S: Yeah. Yeah ok. That I should not worry about what the answer is but why?
M: Can you be little more specific?
S: like, I remember my boss after I got done with college, we worked on all these high tech stuff
and it was during the 1990s and, I remember trying to remember oodles and oodles of
information and tons of information. And you know what he told me? He said, don’t worry about
what to do, worry about why you are doing it. The perfect example would be, to figure out, so
back in the day I was trying to figure out dumb terminals to unix main frame and it was a serial
consentrator and I remember trying to troubleshoot, one time I remember trying to troubleshoot,
the connectors and they had these cables but they were not cables, but they were flat cables that
looked like telephone lines except they are more conductors inside of them and make them a
certain way and they would work right? And then finally I would ask myself, why is this not
working? And I was getting frustrated because I was doing exactly what it is I should be doing
and he told me I shouldn’t worry about what it is I am doing but why I am doing it. So it was like
MEMORABLE MESSAGES: AN ANALYSIS ON MESSAGING IMPACT 34
why is it that you are expected to work and why is this working or not working a specific way?
SO the why would ask why this technology is to work. When I started to ask myself that and
asking myself questions about that, I remember realizing later, like instead of thinking about this
mythical cable to put two things together it was literally dumb terminal to a serial consentrator
that was not working to a box. But anywho, when I started to think that the cable is not a cable I
saw it as one process, I realized the cable is doing all sorts of kind of different things. I don’t
exactly remember what but you know I opened that black box and I found it very useful and this
message of why was really helpful when it came to undergraduate and graduate school and now.
M: How was it useful in graduate school?
S: You know like in undergrad you are taught kind of what the answers are? Well, in a very large
way we teach you to think critically about them but we have these sort of testing struggling that
kind of tests you what you are doing. So it is not that teachers didn’t teach us critically, we gage
that uncritical ways. I guess it depends on the class sizes as well. But in grad school it changes
right? Like the class sizes are much smaller, I don’t think I was ever in a class size when my
cohort was larger than 10 maybe. So I never had more than 10 people in my class. But anyway, it
gave you much of a closer opportunity to look at the material more and talk about it more. So
inside of looking at just the definition of feminism for example, or what is race, or what is
hegemony, but we learn what is hegemony and why it is important to be a feminist. So instead of
looking at just the definition f race, we are learned in grad school why it is a social construction
and who constructed I and all that stuff, those questions become more important and I think
that’s when you learn to do that, I hope I am making sense, but you then realize really are just
magic boxes that you can look into things even more closely.
M: You said that it was your boss who said this message right?
MEMORABLE MESSAGES: AN ANALYSIS ON MESSAGING IMPACT 35
S: Mhm.
M: what was his name and from where?
S: John Silva. He has passed on. He owned a company called Complete Computive, it is a
technology consulting firm, with clients and medical clients, and it was basically a system before
all the IT fancy stuff came into place. Before all that came a big thing.
M: Let me look at my main questions here. What was going on in your life at that time that made
the message relevant to you? So something outside the work environment.
S: I don’t recall. Hmm, well I know. Memory is a funny thing because you don’t remember
events you just remember what you can remember about those events and now I wonder if it has
anything about y grandfather dying, and I bet you that’s what it was. My grandfather died
roughly around the same time and right around undergrad and I, when you have something like
that happen in your family, and happen to me, then it kind of shapes your grounding. It causes
you to start questioning things. And I wonder if asking the question why is something that
triggers that memorable message and stuff like that. I don’t really have an answer for that.
M: What is your opinion about this boss that you did have at the time? What did you think of
him as a person?
S: I adore him. I looked at him like another father or even an uncle. I was devastated when he
passed away. He died from pancreatic cancer I think it was and I think it was three years ago or
something like that. It was devastating and he was way too young. Cancer is a bastard.
M: Do you think this message, the why message is something you pass down to others?
Something you can pass down to either your students or even your daughter?
MEMORABLE MESSAGES: AN ANALYSIS ON MESSAGING IMPACT 36
S: Oh absolutely. I’m always talking about the why to my undergrad and my grad students. I
don’t even know if you remember when I taught my television production class I always made
sure one time to talk about, beyond talking about what lens are or what light is, I wanted to do
more. In production you don’t really talk about the physicals aspects, but I did because it answers
the why questions. I want my students to know why this lens goes with this or why this lens is
better than that lens you know? Or I want them to know you know, why is it that um…why is it
you don’t necessarily need to by that expensive steady cam, when you can just make one
yourself and save a lot of money. Or what does it mean to make one and how do you do it? You
are improving a skill. Like using the steady cam example, you stick a camera on it and you can
stick it on your body and the camera is still. But when you make one there are pieces and a
counter balance on steady camera, there is a ball and a socket point that moves the gravity and it
depends on large muscles in your body. And that ball and socket on the steady cam needs and
needs your body and your muscle to go against that gravity to pull the thing steady. And those
are some of the things you need to learn, and when you know those things than that answers the
why question and you are learning about these things at the same time. You can do so much
more of cinematography and so much more.
M: Do you think this message was relevant right away or do you think it was kind of hit you later
in life?
S: The why question? Definitely later. I think it hit me a little bit right away on the job so I can
do the job. But I think in retrospect I wonder if my learning that why question back then was
something I felt like I needed to know for the job, but, it was certainly something that was later
and hit me much more critically when I started graduate school.
MEMORABLE MESSAGES: AN ANALYSIS ON MESSAGING IMPACT 37
M: I think I have a couple more, maybe. I asked that one already. If you had a chance to start
over with the message in the back of your head what things would you do different and what
things would you do the same?
S: Start over life?
M: so if, this person said this to you, your boss, during that time, when you had this message
when you did these certain things. I don’t know how to word things. But you did these certain
things and your behaviors as you went on with life. So now that you have this message in your
head and rewind and do this all over again, would your attitudes and behaviors change? Or
would you still be the same or would anything change?
S: I think it would change. I think I would have lived life differently. I remember wanting to fit
in while growing up and being that I am a person of color, you do want to fit in you know? I
think, one point in time, if I could turn back time with the whole why message, I would have
loved that why question and why do I want to fit in so much…
M: Yeah…or why be different…?
S: Yeah…or…why is that normal and this is not normal? You know for example. I grew up in a
pretty conservative city in California, if you can believe there is a conservative city out there
right? Haha.
M: Yeah, what city are you talking about?
S: It’s Fresno. It’s the history of that in its central valley is people escape from the dust bowl and
so there is a lot of Oaklahomens over there and there is this unique central valley accent that
sounds like a southern accent, it is weird and all rodios and nascars and farms, and guns. It is
weird. And that is all over the area and I think the why, I would love to have asked some of those
assumptions and what is right what is wrong, what is moral what is immoral what is normal what
MEMORABLE MESSAGES: AN ANALYSIS ON MESSAGING IMPACT 38
is not normal and know what is the correct behavior and what isn’t. I wanted to know all these
aspects and wanted to know the answers to so many questions that I didn’t know. I wish I asked
all these questions before and finally ask that why question and make different choices. I mean I
guess, you know, but like, I remember, being an absolute dick to this kid in high school. Like he
was gay and this was conservative Fresno so this was bas right? So I remember being so horrible
and harassing this kid and just over and over. And he never bothered me and never affected my
life but I made his life a living hell. A part of me was this just questioning that gay equals bad
you know? I think later on in life, in graduate school, it was already too late, and having all these
different life experiences, now I do not believe that and I think this is a function that I grew up in
and if I were to truly look at it I think it is ridiculous to think gay equals bad. I wish I learned that
why question sooner because I would have spared him so much torment and that is probably one
of my biggest regrets.
M: Anything you want to add?
S: Hmmm
M: actually before we get there, let me ask why do you think “why” the message, is important in
general? Or maybe what advice would you give to someone to pass, we already kind of talked
about that, but why is this why message just so huge indicator for not just your life but for
someone’s else’s life?
S: I think there are a lot of powerful hidden discourses, well discourses are naturally hidden, but
discourses that have power over us lies in the fact that they are hidden. If you ask the why
question you are confronting them and confronting there justice in a more profound way. I think
when we assume so much about each other, we assume so many things that are right, that we do
a whole lot of harm. It is sort of like that one line in Huckleberry Fin where I think it is like Jim
MEMORABLE MESSAGES: AN ANALYSIS ON MESSAGING IMPACT 39
and Slay are traveling down the river and Jim says something like, just because you think
something is right doesn’t mean make it right. You know? That is such a profoundly, cool quote.
I think if you were to ask that why question, it would short cut into that same point. I just think
there is so much in this world that would benefit from people asking this why question a lot
more.
M: Okay I think that’s it. Thank you so much for doing this for me.
S: Cool. Let me know if you need anything else.
MEMORABLE MESSAGES: AN ANALYSIS ON MESSAGING IMPACT 40
Memorable Messages InterviewKaylie November 15, 2015
M: Alrighty are you readdddyyyyy? Haha
K: yes. Yes I am haha.
M: Ok let me gather up everything real quick and then we can start. Ok, here we go. So when
you were asked to think about a “memorable message” from your college experience, what came
to mind?
K: Ok so this was during my sophomore year of college and I was taking COM 101 which is
funny cause I teach it now. It was during my sophomore year of college, and I took it my senior
year because I had extrely high speech anxiety and it was really difficult for me to get up and
speak infront of people and no one really believes me now because I am so social. I think it was
towards the end of the semester an dhe as entering my final grades and so I forgot to submit my
outline and so I wrote him an email and he wrote back to me and said, thanks Kaylie, you did an
awesome job in your speech and blah blah blah and you are a great speaker just relax and you
will be fine. And so that was a memorable moment and message during my time in college
because it was so difficult to get through that and the encourage that gave me that message was
really nice.
M: Do you recall the exact words of that message?
K: Yeah. I actually just pulled it up in my email and so he said, “Kaylie, you did a good job on
your speech and I understand your apprehension but you are a good speaker and you are well
liked by your classmates, just relax and it will be easier.” So that was it. So yeah that was the
exact message.
M: How did you feel when you got that message? Did you get emotional at all or anything?
MEMORABLE MESSAGES: AN ANALYSIS ON MESSAGING IMPACT 41
K: No I didn’t cry or anything if that is what you are asking . But when I did see him again,
cause at that time I was an interior design major and I was having struggles, and this was my
second to last semester as an interior design major because I ended up switching and yeah, wait
what was the question?
M: How did you feel when you go this message?
K: Yeah, so it was nice. But it was still like yeah right, I am still afraid thanks though.
M: What was going on in your life at that time that made the message relevant to you?
K: I was an interior design major and even apart from that I had a lot of problem speaking in
front of people. My confidence was very low at the time. Getting this message helped me, well I
still didn’t believe it but it still planted the seed in my head, maybe you are good at this. And so
it was relevant because it kind of countered what I had thought of myself and it was just
encouragement. I like communication now and it’s awesome, I met you during the process and
everyone in the bullpen. I am getting off topic here. Honestly I would have preferred getting it in
email because, no offense to him, but he was dry and I feel his word wouldn’t mean anything in
person.
M: Did you talk to this instructor after when you received this message at all?
K: Yeah I did actually. When I changed my major my junior year I think he was either an adjunct
professor or a grad student. When I talked to him and when I saw him I was realy excited to see
him and so when I did see him I was kind of like, oh hey how are you? Guess what, I changed
my major to communication. I wasn’t a very good student and I kind of gave him a hard time in
class but when I did see him I did say, guess what? And he was like what? And I told him I
changed my major to communication. And he was like really? And I cant remember the exact
conversation but yeah I just really wanted him to know. I think that was it maybe, I don’t
MEMORABLE MESSAGES: AN ANALYSIS ON MESSAGING IMPACT 42
remember but I don’t think I brought up the message he told me or anything. But um I did go
back and did communicate to him.
M: Was one of the reasons why you changed into a com major one of those reasons? Like the
message that is?
K: The main reason when I thought about, when I was in my sophomore year and I was in an
entrepreneurship class and my teacher asked me to imagine myself in five years and I when I
imagined it I could not see myself in interior design. You asked what this message prompted me
to change kind of right?
M: Yep
K: I think this is what promoted me, but when I thought about what else can I do, communication
was the only thing that I could think of in the back of my mind. I didn’t know it was the result of
that message because I am still terrified. But I am not sure if it directly correlated with that
message honestly.
M: What was the name of the professor?
K: Jay Brando. We just called him Jay.
M: What was your opinion of this instructor? Jay I should say?
K: I think he had a lot of behind the scene struggles um…just as far as…like you know you can
just tell if someone is struggling or something with something in their life? That kind of came
through I feel . I mean he was like, well his teaching style, I can’t remember. Well he had an
assistant and she was really cool and clashes with their teaching style. He was just really direct I
guess, I don’t know it was so long ago, like three years ago. I just couldn’t figure out if I liked
going to his class or not. I can just tell he had a lot of behind the scene struggles. He may have
had a problem drinking or smoking. I think drinking. So yeah that’s what I remember.
MEMORABLE MESSAGES: AN ANALYSIS ON MESSAGING IMPACT 43
M: But this is still something you remembered from him when you gave your speech right?
K: Mhm.
M: Did this message effect you right away like were you like oh it hit me right now I should do
something about this message? Or did it effect you later on?
K: Well I think I started to see little when I would be speaking or presenting something. I wanted
to see if I could get past my nerves and if I can learn to channel them in a correct way then I
could be a good speaker. But I didn’t know how to do that. I always forget my questions when
you ask me.
M: If the message affected you right away or later in life?
K: I think…I don’t know. I feel like there were instances when it reinforced my instances from
other college’s professors. There were a couple times when I had to speak in front of church and
that helped me out a lot because I was able to project my nerves and energy and that kind of
reinforced the message but it wasn’t in the back of my mind. SO I don’t know. I really don’t
know. I remember it but I never constantly think about or anything. Before I had other
opportunity I never thought, Oh Jay said I was a good speaker so I will think about what Jay told
me. No that was never it. I always had that moment where it was like I am going to get past this.
But the message only came back to my head when I saw Jay in the hallway at school and that
was when it sparked and I remembered and it was like oh yeah I remember what he wrote on my
speech. So yeah, and that was when I said I ended up changing my major.
M: When did you say you saw him again?
K: Junior year? Yeah, junior year, so like a year later.
M: If you had a chance to start over with the message in the back of your head what things would
you do different and what things would you do the same?
MEMORABLE MESSAGES: AN ANALYSIS ON MESSAGING IMPACT 44
K: Can you specify it a little more? Like what things would I do different in regards to…?
M: So like if you didn’t get this message from Jay and you presented whatever ti was that you
presented your speech on if you had to do it all over again would you do it differently?
K: so would I not be change the fact that I am still where I am today?
M: Yes.
K: I don’t think so. Because a lot of the factor where I am today and how I got here are different
than just that one message. Yes I like direct words and encouragement and it made me maybe
feel good for a second but at the same time I told you that I was questioning it and was saying
stuff like, “yeah right.” But a lot of the reason I am here is because of prayer and that is the most,
number one thing, that got me here. Yeah people’s words are this and that but the only reason
why I got through It was God and prayer to get me where I am. Yes, words are instrumental and
so nice to hear, but those words don’t change the fact on how I got to where I am. Does that
makes sense? And so I do think speaking is important and teaching kids about it. But I feel if I
still haven’t gotten that message from Jay, then I would still be on scholarship and be a grad
school because God helped me get to where I am suppose to be. Because you have to remember,
I got this message I got this at the very end of my semester and my very last speech and so when
I took my public speaking class in 357 my senior year, I had to take another elective, public
speaking was required and I was still nervous to speak. I still get nervous to speak. But it was…it
wasn’t a big of a struggle, it got little better. And now when I speak I think it just comes within
time and got punctual with it. Fear always has a way to creep up. I don’t necessarily think, if I
got this message that I wouldn’t be where I am, cause I do teach COM 101 now, so its like what?
So yeah.
MEMORABLE MESSAGES: AN ANALYSIS ON MESSAGING IMPACT 45
M: Is this a message you think about once in a while or you just kind of blocked it out and don’t
really care for it?
K: I don’t think so. Sometimes I think about him and what he I doing. I think about the process
of how I got out of that fear. I wasn’t a good student in college and I didn’t have many
memorable messages, even when I changed my major and I told one of my professors what I am
doing now, she would say oh yeah you’d be really good at that. And those words also didn’t
mean much to me either. I forgot the message again.
M: If you think about it from time to time.
K: Nope. I think about the grace God has given me. I think about that MORE than the message
that was given to me.
M: So was it kind of a shock message?
K: Explain shock message.
M: What?
K: Sorry, explain shock message.
M: Hmm, were you surprised by the message from Jay?
K: So like a determining factor?
M: Yeah, exactly. That’s what I mean by shock message.
K: I mean yeah it was a part of my process but it wasn’t why I made it to this point in my
process.
M: Do you think this is a message, probably not, you will pass down to others?
K: Actually I would, and I do pass it down to other people. Well even now, I have a student in
my COM 101 class that is terrified of speaking in front of a class and this something I was most
excited about when I got the opportunity to teach. I mean I do not incorporate God’s grace in
MEMORABLE MESSAGES: AN ANALYSIS ON MESSAGING IMPACT 46
there, cause I just can’t, because that is an inappropriate topic in the classroom and I may get in
trouble but although if someone asked me how I did it, then boom I would tell them. I
compliment my students both face-to-face and email. But yes I do pass it down a lot because you
might be nervous now but, the more you do it the more comfortable you are with it. I think I do
and I will continue to. People can’t see the end of the road but if they can see that you were there
before, then the message is really important.
M: Why should someone care about this message? Or why should your students care about this
message? Or maybe not even your students? Maybe just anyone?
K: This actual message? Or just the gist?
M: Yeah
K: There is something about calling out the potential in others to see. And um, as a person who
has been there and not being able to see their own potential I think it is important to see. Like I
said it’s not the reason why I am here, but it kind of planted a seed in the back of my mind that
someone else saw in me. So, I feel like it played a role in my life, but it’s not the soul reason why
I am here. Does that make sense?
M: Yes. What type of memorable message would you want a student to remember? I know it
depends on the student what would you give to them? Would it be similar to Jay or no?
K: I think it is subjective. I’m more drawn to the people that are scared of what I was scared of.
So people who are brave and have no problem public speaking, good for them. That’s awesome.
But for the rest of us, no, it is a real life issue. I would want them to remember this along the
same line. If they suck, they suck. If they have potential and I can see they are putting in effort,
then yes.
M:Is there anything you would like to add?
MEMORABLE MESSAGES: AN ANALYSIS ON MESSAGING IMPACT 47
K: No… haha.
M: Nothing at all? Come on.
K: Grace. That’s what got me here, it really did.
MEMORABLE MESSAGES: AN ANALYSIS ON MESSAGING IMPACT 48
Memorable Messages Interview HubertNovember 15, 2015
M: How are you doing my friend?
H: I’m doing great, thanks for asking. Let me just start off by saying, wow, you honestly get
prettier every time I see you. I feel like my eyeballs will melt if a look at you for too long. How
about we get started because I’m not sure how long I can last in the presence of such a divine
goddess.
M: You’re such a loser sometimes, but thank you. So let’s get this rolling. When you were asked
to think about a “memorable message” from your college experience, what came to mind?
H: I’ve had a lot of good messages over the years from professors, but there’s definitely one that
stands out above all the rest. It’s a moment that I forever cherish because the impact it had on me
was monumental at a time when I was still figuring out my priorities and how far I was willing to
go to pursue my craft. I remember it so vividly, I was nineteen years old and finishing up a
creative writing course. At the same time, I was writing my third novel and putting the final
touches to my second. The professor of the creative writing course was Marie Masters and we
developed a rather close bond over the course of the class. She confided with me that she was
writing her own novel, an autobiography detailing life after divorce, and she wanted me to be
one of the first people to read it and give her my opinion. Well, the time came and she handed
me her book and written on the inseam was the message that came into mind when you asked me
your question. It was a very profound message coming from someone whom I deemed to be my
mentor and who I respected immeasurably. Six words confirmed that I was doing what I needed
to be doing with my life and that I should pursue my goals and dreams until the end. The
MEMORABLE MESSAGES: AN ANALYSIS ON MESSAGING IMPACT 49
moment was valuable to me because it created a solid pillar of foundation in my life at a time
when I was flailing to get a grasp of my bearings.
M: Do recall the exact words of the message? What were they?
H: Yes, I remember the words clearly, “Sometimes the student becomes the teacher.” It was a
surreal moment for me when I read those words written on the inseam of her book. I mean, this
was a woman I’ve gotten to know very well and who was a phenomenal writer in her own
regard. She’s been perfecting her craft for many more years than I’ve even been writing, and for
her to write something like that down, it was just, it was worth more to me than words can
express.
M: What was going on in your life at that time that made the message relevant to you?
H: Well, I was young, passionate and ambitious. I started writing seriously about two years prior
and I felt that I was able to do it well, even at a relatively young age. When I received this
message, I was drowning in numerous ideas, had my eyes set on impossible dreams and had this
sort of uncertainty about how seriously I should pursue my endeavors. I’ve always had to do my
writing alone and it was difficult to find readers who would help me progress by critiquing my
work. I was at a pretty clear crossroads between passion and demoralization. Yes, I was writing a
lot and I was finishing novel after novel, but I was lacking support and that caused unbelievable
doubts to blossom. My parents can’t read English, my friends didn’t seem all that interested, I
did feel like I was absolutely alone and this message came at a very precarious moment for me. It
absolutely convinced me that the work I was putting forth was not in vain and that I did have
some talent with writing and that talent was noticed by someone I respected and admired. It was
MEMORABLE MESSAGES: AN ANALYSIS ON MESSAGING IMPACT 50
a vein of support from a person I held in high regard and it was enough to convince me to pursue
my goals almost feverishly.
M: What was your opinion of the source of the message?
H: My opinion of Marie Masters? I mean, she was and still currently is my mentor. She’s a
phenomenal writer and she just gets it. She understands the difficulty involved with writing on
this level. Hundreds of thousands of words, months of writing, months of research, months of
edits, the self-criticism that your work is never as good as it can be and will never be as good as
it could be. She understood all of it and yet, she taught her creative writing course with so many
different and creative approaches that she made it truly fun and educational for everyone
attending her course. Marie Masters originally was in the advertisement industry and she set a
personal goal for herself that in one year, if she made six figures, she would leave advertising
behind and she would pursue her actual passion of creative and novel writing. Well, she reached
her goal of a six figure salary in one year and then left a lucrative job behind so that she could
focus on her novels and teaching creative writing. When she told me this story, it was pretty
inspirational because it showed that she had a burning desire that won out in the end. She never
regretted her decision to switch from advertising to creative writing, and only ever wished she
would have done it sooner. The same time she gave me the book and message, she told me that I
was lucky I was so dead set on writing at such a young age because it gave me an advantage over
other people who believe they can buy the freedom to pursue it later on in life. I hold a deep well
of respect for Marie Masters and I don’t ever see that changing.
M: How did the message affect you? In other words, did it have any impact on your actions or
your attitude – either immediately or later on? If so, what impact did it have?
MEMORABLE MESSAGES: AN ANALYSIS ON MESSAGING IMPACT 51
H: The message had a tremendous impact on me. This was a professor, pursuing her own dreams
of publishing a novel, giving me a message that made me feel like my success and pursuit of the
craft inspired her to really go for it as well. I was originally pursuing a business degree, but after
having Marie Masters and her creative writing course, plus receiving such an awesome message
from a person I admired, I changed my major from business to English and have never looked
back. Doubts that used to exist no longer exist anymore. I’m confident I’m pursuing the correct
course with my life and the message I received helped me realize that my dreams weren’t
impossible. In fact, they never felt more possible. If anything, my dreams have grown
exponentially since that one faithful day. Where I may have been timid before about saying I
want to be an author, I’m absolutely confident now when I say I want to be one of the greats.
There’s no longer any doubt in my mind, only the thrill of a conquerable challenge. That’s
probably the flipside of the message she gave me; the confidence to pursue my goals because
anything I can imagine can, in fact, become reality. I think you can tell from my words the sort
of impact her message had on my attitude. I went from being ambitious and unsure, to being
confident and ambitious.
M: If you had a chance to start over with the message in the back of your head what things would
you do different and what things would you do the same?
H: Honestly, the message wouldn’t carry the same meaning if I was told it when I was first
starting out. I started writing when I was seventeen years old because my last high school
football season was over and I had an excess of energy that cultivated into insomnia and
prevented me from getting any sleep at all. I became a walking zombie. Writing allowed me to
exhaust some of that excess energy in the form of words and ideas. It was a small spark that set
off an inferno within me. I spent hours every single day learning and writing, doing research,
MEMORABLE MESSAGES: AN ANALYSIS ON MESSAGING IMPACT 52
reading the greats, honing the craft so that I can bring all the ideas in my head to life with the
respect and detail they deserved. My inability to sleep transformed into an insatiable obsession
with writing. I was filled with raw passion and limitless ambition; the words and ideas couldn’t
come fast enough. I was young and unrefined, but I kept pushing myself to get better and better
every single day. I saw the results within my writing and that just kept the drive going even
further. The message from Marie Masters came to me after two long years of tireless effort. It
came at such a perfect time too. When I was beginning to doubt myself, when the ecstasy of
creating and crafting was beginning to die down and I began to view writing as work, split into
equal parts time, effort and research. In those two years I developed my writing strategies, I
taught myself how to bring thoughts in my head to life as words on a page. When Marie Masters
gave me her message, it was confirmation that the long nights of work really did pay off and I
still had so much more I could achieve. So, to answer your question, I wouldn’t want things to be
any different. The message would have no meaning to me if she had told me in the beginning
when I was just starting out. Two years later though, after I had progressed and grown on my
own, I really felt like I earned those words. The way it happened was the right way, I wouldn’t
trade it for anything.
M: Has this message continued to resonate with you?
H: Yes, the message definitely resonates with me to this day. It’s going to be something I think
about on my deathbed when I’m reflecting upon my life. The message stands as a solid pillar
among the chaos of passion and doubt I was feeling at the time. It’s one of those things that’s
forever ingrained in your memories. I’m lucky enough to have a physical copy of it written
inside her novel. I promise you, that book with that message sits on the same shelf as all my first
edition novels. I’ve never really had trouble with writer’s block thanks to the writing strategies I
MEMORABLE MESSAGES: AN ANALYSIS ON MESSAGING IMPACT 53
developed when I was younger, but whenever I pursue a new endeavor, I always take a look at
her novel and the message inscribed on its pages. Just recently I constructed a poetry collection
for the New Yorker. It was my first time really writing poetry so I had some doubts to the quality
of my work. I mean, I did all the research I needed to do and I received several favorable reviews
from close friends, but the doubt was still there. I actually hadn’t thought about the message for a
while until I was pacing around the room, cursing my own name to the winds because I was
frustrated that my work wasn’t good enough to approach a journal as prestigious as the New
Yorker. My eyes happened upon her novel though, I pulled it off the shelf and smiled when my
eyes ran across that message. It was just a simple reminder. I have what it takes to do all things. I
no longer have reservations about my writing whether it be fantasy, poetry, romance or any new
idea that begs for my attention. Her words just serve as a constant source of inspiration when my
ideas and emotion alone aren’t enough. That message means so much to me considering how I
received it, when I received it and from whom I received it. It’s what drives me to continue
becoming a better writer every single day.
M: Is this a message you think you will pass down to others? Why or why not?
H: Part of the reason why I write is to create new and exciting worlds. Another part is to craft
sentences and stories that have never been heard before. All of the accumulates to one thing and
that’s to make an impact upon our world. I want my writing to inspire other writers. I want my
sentences to run through their veins and be fuel for their own passions. I’ve daydreamed often of
a scenario where I’m sitting in my office, in front of a cluttered and scribbled upon desk, looking
at the astounding work of a young, talented writer lucky enough to call himself or herself my
student. I would want to give them the same message I received. They would have to earn it,
that’s for sure, but if I ever do have students like this, ones that have an insatiable drive and
MEMORABLE MESSAGES: AN ANALYSIS ON MESSAGING IMPACT 54
curiosity, I would love to impart the same message I received. It might seem silly, but it’s pretty
important to me. The harder I work now, the more success I have during the course of my
lifetime, the more that message would mean to a young student. If I become a great author, I
mean truly great, I feel like bestowing a young writer with that same exact message would really
pan out well. It would show them that despite who I am and how much I’ve accomplished; I see
something in their work. Something acknowledgeable. I would only hope that if I ever do get the
chance to give this message to another, it would have the same incredible impact on them as it
did on me.
M: Why should someone care about this message?
H: People should definitely care about this message because it’s praise of the highest sort.
Sometimes the student becomes the teacher. Those six words coming from a teacher
acknowledge that the teacher sees something in the student, something that shouldn’t be ignored.
The teacher is telling the student, “I see that you exist and I see something great existing within
you.” I just feel like there aren’t many words that compare to that coming from a teacher to a
student. It’s like the teacher is telling the student they are equals. Any praise from an authority
figure is generally appreciated very well, but to be told that you are equal with a person you
respect and admire? It really doesn’t get much better than that.
M: Anything else you want to add?
H: Well, I’ve been thinking about it and I just wanted to mention the before and after in regards
to me receiving the message. Getting into the creative writing course was an experience all in
itself. The course wasn’t recommended for freshman. There was actually a prerequisite
requirement which needed to be fulfilled before a student could take the creative writing course.
MEMORABLE MESSAGES: AN ANALYSIS ON MESSAGING IMPACT 55
Two lower level English courses needed to be completed in the first and second semesters of
freshman year in order for a student to be able to take the course during their sophomore year. I
ended up completing the English prerequisite for the first semester, but it was just too easy. Mind
you, I was already writing books and creating worlds at the time. Something about writing five
paragraph essays about a selected topic just wasn’t doing anything for me. I was bored out of my
mind and never felt challenged. I found the creative writing course when I was applying for
classes for my second semester and was a little bummed out about the two class prerequisite rule.
I decided to contact the administrative office who, in turn, contacted Marie Masters and they told
her I was a prospective freshman looking for early admission into her course. Several hours after
I let them know my request, I received a rather ominous phone call, “You have twenty-four
hours. Write a three-hundred-word essay on the following topic: A world without reading or
writing. Send it to the following e-mail.” It was very strange, but I viewed it as a creative
challenge so I started working on my little essay. I really wanted to get into this course so I took
a little bit of a gamble with how I was going to write the essay. A world without reading or
writing; my first thought was that it would be a primitive world filled with people incapable of
communicating with each other. That was too easy and too obvious though. I decided to take an
unorthodox approach and envisioned a futuristic world instead where reading and writing
weren’t needed because the denizens had devised a unique social media program that worked on
the basis of thought. I still remember my little catchphrase for the social media network; if a
picture is worth one thousand words and a video is worth one thousand pictures, then an emotion
is worth one thousand videos. The social network allowed people to communicate with each
other on the principle of sending what they were feeling at any given time to those around them,
MEMORABLE MESSAGES: AN ANALYSIS ON MESSAGING IMPACT 56
making reading and writing unnecessary. Marie Masters loved the twist and accepted me into her
course. I was the only freshman ever to take it.
After receiving the message and her novel, I’ve always kept in touch with Marie Masters. I truly
consider her my mentor and am still inspired by her. Her story is a great one and it just makes me
happy knowing she found success with her novel. I recently got in touch with her a couple weeks
ago because I wanted her to critique my poetry collection that I was going to send to the New
Yorker. We exchanged a few e-mails, I sent her my work and then I waited. About a month later,
she calls me up and tells me to meet her in her office. I arrive and she hands me the poems with
little notes scribbled on the pages. We just sat there for hours talking about the places she’s
traveled to, the work we’re currently writing, talking about the different nuances between writing
styles and what goes into truly great writing. She also confided with me that she was working on
her second novel. The first one was more of an autobiography while this new one is supposed to
be a fictional work. I saw how happy and excited she was to be working on a fun and creative
personal project. Then, true to the message she wrote me years prior, she asked me if I would
read the manuscript over winter break and critique her work. She already had two female readers
critique it, but she wanted a man’s viewpoint of the story and plot. I’ll be honest with you, it’s an
absolute honor for me. It’s almost unreal; my mentor is asking for my assistance and honest
critique of her work. I don’t know, it’s just, I really feel like we have this mutual respect for one
another. She’s very private with her work so for her to trust me with it and trust my opinion if it,
I appreciate it more than I can say. Plus, she’s more than aware how anal I am about detail and
making sure there aren’t any plot holes in the story. She’s a talented writer and I’m excited to
read her newest creation. I really get the feel that she views me as a fellow writer rather than just
MEMORABLE MESSAGES: AN ANALYSIS ON MESSAGING IMPACT 57
a pestering former student. “Sometimes the student becomes the teacher.” I really feel like she’s
living up to the message she gave me, which just makes it all the more special.
M: Wow. That was really good actually. No wonder you’re an author.
H: Haha. Anything for you Monica.
MEMORABLE MESSAGES: AN ANALYSIS ON MESSAGING IMPACT 58
Memorable MessagesDr. AlmodovarNovember 18, 2015
M: When you were asked to think about a “memorable message” from your college experience,
what came to mind?
A: Hmm, well, when I was a first year student I met Dr. Aniela Gonzalas, she was a PhD student
and she was a very experience woman, older woman, in working in intense research for
radiology for many years in New York city. Um…she inspired me to be a researcher but she also
was there for me and I loved her outlook on life. She was a very well rounded person. Who
thought we could all achieve something with our education but also she remembers that we are
persons, individuals who also make mistakes and need to grow not only education wise but also
in our everyday lives and the choices we make.
M: Do you recall the exact message of those words?
A: That she told me?
M: Yes, what she told you.
A: Well, she told me that I was young and I still didn’t know much but she corrected me to study
hard and to continue to peruse my dreams but to also nourish my soul and not forget to continue
working on relationships with my coworkers and co students – never to be pretentious or
anything like that but to always carry a good relationship with other people in my life because
life is short.
M: What was going on in your life at that time that made the message relevant to you?
MEMORABLE MESSAGES: AN ANALYSIS ON MESSAGING IMPACT 59
A: I was a first year student. I was new in college and I didn’t have any idea what was going on
haha. But she (Dr. Gonzalas) direct my efforts to medical school because she accepted me into
her lab which was an accomplishment for first year students, very seldom you have opportunity
for someone to invite you to work in her lab and I guess she just loved me so much I guess that I
was invited haha. Well I did work hard and it was a challenging process but the words that she
used inspired me to do my best and never to give up on my dreams.
M: From what university is this professor from?
A: University of Puerto Rico. Being able to work in her research lab was just an amazing
opportunity for me. I was smiling on the inside and on the outside.
M: Ok. And what was your opinion of the source of the messages? So, the opinion of the person
who said it to you at the time? What did you think about this person? How else were they an
impact in your life?
A: Oh Dr. Gonzalas? Oh wow she was a wonderful woman, just wonderful. She was bright, but
she was also, well by her age she was almost in her 70s…so she was an older woman but I can
always invision ho hard it was for her to obtain a PhD as a woman and to get so far with her
career and to a university in the states. She is great at what she does as a researcher and as a
scientist and I wanted to be in her shoes one day. I wanted to be a Dr. Gonzalas. She was the
absolute example of what it is to be strong, determined tough woman. She would show that in
her daily behavior and would not take anything from nobody. She would be extremely assertive
with her students and with colleagues.
M: How did the message affect you? In other words, did it have any impact on your actions or
your attitude – either immediately or late on? If so, what impact did it have?
MEMORABLE MESSAGES: AN ANALYSIS ON MESSAGING IMPACT 60
A: Oh wow because of her message it has been attached to me my entire life. So to answer your
question, this message was carried around with me immediately and to this day. She would
always stick to her goal and nothing would stop her from doing what it is she loves to do. When
someone has that much passion, it will motivate me to get that passion as well. And of course
there has been times when she would not achieve what she wanted immediately either, and a lot
of research disappointments, but she would use that as an experience to learn and grow and get
better and eventually achieve her end goal, which was to continue investigating and researching
and all those outbreaks.
M: Has this message continued to resonate with you? Is it something that you still think about
from time to time? Why or why not?
A: Oh certainly. For such a long time I wanted to be just like her. I did try as a researcher but it
was extremely hard to be a doctor, so when I finished my fellowship I became a doctor and I was
already a gastroenterologist so there was a lot going on. But when I was doing my research at the
University of Alabama, I was so sheltered because my boss at the time had a lot of money to go
out and do the research and so I didn’t have to go out and find that money, it was like it was
handed to me, which was extremely nice. I never had to worry about writing a grant or find
someone to sponsor. I worked because my boss had all the funds needed. And she had everyone
work under her supervision. But once you are out of your fellowship, if you are interested in
doing research still, you have to find your own money and this was in the late 80s and early 90s,
and it as very difficult to find money from the NIH and all those other outlets and other
organizations to grant you money for reach – it was very very difficult at that time, especially if
you didn’t have your name out there and if you were a nobody right? You are just getting started
and nobody knows your name. For those that were already established, it was easier for them to
MEMORABLE MESSAGES: AN ANALYSIS ON MESSAGING IMPACT 61
obtain research money to continue their work. So when I was working unfortunately somebody
“on paper” appeared to be like Dr. Gonzalas and this was a man that obtained his professorship
when he was 40. And at the time when I started to work for him I thought, oh my God this man
is a star, to accomplish and retain that at age 40 was just unbelievable and such an
accomplishment. It is something that is so difficult to accomplish me, and he did it and it was
just like, wow. However, the downfall was he did not appear who he was “on paper” and was a
huge disappointment. So it’s important to look at those things as well. Someone may have all
qualities on paper but not in person.
M: What experience, advice, and memorable message in your college life did you pass down to
your kids?
A: Oh definitely to work hard, never expect anything to just fall from the sky, and to be humble.
I guess that is three messages but they all fit into just one message for me. I want my kids to be
humble about their gifts and to never rub your talents to other students. That’s not a wise thing to
do. You should be really humble and quiet about your gifts, don’t advertise your gifts. But of
course if someone asks for your help, then they should be happy to help them but they shouldn’t
rub it in and say how amazing you are, right? So that’s what I wanted my kids to do.
M: Was there someone that maybe discouraged your child and made them want to quit? And
how did that relate to the memorable message you gave them?
A: Well…
M: And maybe if you want to add what was your role as a parent in this situation? What did you
say? What did you do to help your child?
A: If someone encouraged my child to quit?
MEMORABLE MESSAGES: AN ANALYSIS ON MESSAGING IMPACT 62
M: Yeah. So if they are really good at something, maybe they wanted to be a news anchor and
there is that one person that tells them not to be a news anchor. What message would you give to
them? Or what advice would you give them?
A: Well to my knowledge, my two older boys, Christopher and Gregory, they were never
bullied. They were not the most popular individuals in school because they were very geeky and
nerdy and they were not cool, but they still had a way to fit in. They cared because to them at the
time was to get great grades to get into college and have a scholarship. They worked very hard
which is the message I have been telling them that was passed down from Dr. Gonzalas that I
could now use on them. With my other younger son, Jonathon, I learned later and noticed that he
was definitely not the popular child in high school and that probably explains why he was
strongly so much. I am not sure if he has a lot of pressure from trying to fit in so badly and be
popular and also I am pretty sure that effected his performance in school and he was just very
distracted and he would not dedicate himself to anything. He would just start them and then drop
them right away. But it didn’t matter because I would still tell him to do his best no matter what
someone else may say to him, and to concentrate on whatever it is that the teacher wanted from
him in his classes. But his first couple of years in high school were very hard for him. I think it
might have been a maturity problem as well. He was very immature and I guess seeing his twin
brothers do so well and having an advantage – always having each other side by side and they
could lean on each other all the time if they needed help. Jonathon had very close friends, but I
think he resented in a way not having a twin cause he saw how, quote on quote, easy, it was for
his two twin brothers.
M: So if that was high school, what happened in college? Were they in a fraternity?
A: Oh yes, all of them were.
MEMORABLE MESSAGES: AN ANALYSIS ON MESSAGING IMPACT 63
M: Were you ok with that? Did you think that maybe it would distract them from their studies if
they were in a frat?
A: I am all about fraternity and even sororities. I think initially when my boys joined the
fraternity I was little skeptical but of course young men and women are going to party and it
doesn’t matter if you are in a sorority or a fraternity, they are going to party. The way I look at it
is, Greek life offers so many opportunities to young and men and women to share and network.
And the opportunity to do philanthropy and to do projects for the community, even fundraising,
and especially for the girls are much more better and doing this than the boys when it comes to
raising money and all that and giving back to the community services. But I also understand that
because they are under the supervision of chapter of the fraternity. They also have to comply to
rules in the house so therefore they have to follow certain rules or they will lose the house. And
the result of that they could lose the house. If they break any of the rules then someone will say
something to them that they can’t do this, and you can’t do that here because you are going to
take the house away and I don’t want to get my house away. Like Christopher and Gregory they
loved their house and about 15 years ago there was a house that almost was dissolved but no one
wants to talk about it so it is a huge mystery but they don’t want to lose their house for whatever
reason it may be so they have to work hard to be in this house. It takes a lot of time to get that
house back and save it. And as a result of that story they were very careful with not partying a lot
and taking care of the house and following the rules and not doing stupid things and dangerous
things, especially things that could danger someone’s life. It was a great experience for them and
I am happy that they were in the frat. Oh and even now that they are gone and graduated and
have jobs on their own, they still have opportunity to return back to the house and enjoy the little
reunions that they have. The young adults that are all working now, call each other and contact
MEMORABLE MESSAGES: AN ANALYSIS ON MESSAGING IMPACT 64
each other social media and say, hey let’s get together here, here, and here and this and that time
and boom they make it happen. It really facilitates them to continue friendships, especially when
they are so far away from each other and working. It is a really good thing.
M: You mentioned that you thought it was skeptical AT FIRST, why would you think that at
first?
A: Because it has so much bad presence and what you see on TV and karma and movies that you
see all the crazy stuff that happens. There’s this one movie that does it, ugh, I can’t think the
name of it, you know what I’m talking about?
M: No…
A: You’ve seen it, it’s for kids that are in your generation. Ugh, I can’t think the name of it,
Animal House or something? No, that’s not it. Well anyway, it was a classic. There are just so
many bad stories about frats and the sororities and then there are things we hear on the news
when they destroy properties and they students are suspended. But those are exceptional
situations. I could never see any of the boys at the frat that my boys are in doing anything like
that. They are such great boys all of them, I have met almost all the ones that are in the frat and
the parents and they are all well-rounded individuals. Like I said earlier, they are all going to
party, both sororities and the fraternities, but that’s normal. I rather have them party now and get
it all out of their system then when they are in their 30s-40s and trying to party with the younger
generation because the missed out on that fun while in college. They also offer support to the
members. For instance, when Gregory and Christopher were telling me how they had to study
the history of the fraternity house and taking tests in order for them to become members and had
to go through this specific process. No one can just walk in there and be like; yup I want to join
this fraternity, so take me. It was not like that, they had to be selected and go through the process
MEMORABLE MESSAGES: AN ANALYSIS ON MESSAGING IMPACT 65
of enrichment and show they are worthy candidates. They have to be selected to be a brother for
the fraternity. But I also like how they could all use the strength of each other, so if somebody
needed tutorship in a class then instead of going out and getting a tutor they would help each
other out in that particular subject and that person would help you study.
M: Do you think your opinion would change if you had daughters?
A: No, no. I think girls are the same. The sorority houses are well kept and they have even more
strict criteria. You cannot party as much as boys in there. They have a house mother and I guess
that house mother is very strict. You cannot sneak boys in late at night, and if you do then you
can be in big big trouble. Some of the girls can be crafty girls and sneak them in but I don’t think
it is as easy because they have a house mother. I mean gentleman can come and visit but they
cannot take them to the bedroom. I don’t have a problem with sorority girls at all. The only
problem I have with some sororities, I don’t remember the exact name of it, but the boys always
called it: Visa Visa Mastercard. Because, these girls, I think it was Kappa Kappa something,
were all for money. And if you were not a rich boy or had a family name or had a silver spoon in
their mouth, they were not interested and didn’t want anything to do with the boys. Now that is
an organization that I will always be against.
M: Is there anything else that you would like to add at all? Whether it be about memorable
message or whatever is on your mind?
A: about… college?
M: Your memorable message or the message that you passed down.
A: I keep telling them still to be humble, to work hard, and to keep improving themselves and to
be complacent. And to not only continue working harder and everyone else around them but to
be responsible and have pride in their work and continue learning. Because we are completely
MEMORABLE MESSAGES: AN ANALYSIS ON MESSAGING IMPACT 66
lost if we do not continue learning. Hopefully they will receive a masters one day, they want to
work right now for a few more years still and then hopefully go back to school but evidently they
say they want to go back, it isn’t me telling or forcing them to go back. They like to learn and
they like to be educated and I am so happy that that’s what they want. Also, I can’t express how
much I love being a mom. I have advanced in my career and got my dream come true to be a
doctor, but it is nothing compared to being a mother. I love being a mom. I love to educate my
kids and I would give up being a doctor to be a full-time stay at home mom. It is a great
experience and one day Monica, you will have that experience as well. I have learned a lot
through that message and I am proud to pass it down to my kids.
M: Ok. then that’s it. Thank you so much for doing this with me it really means a lot.
A: I hope you get an A.
M: Well I am going to hope and work hard, just like your memorable message but the final
outcome isn’t up to me, it is up to my professor. But fingers crossed haha.
MEMORABLE MESSAGES: AN ANALYSIS ON MESSAGING IMPACT 67
Memorable MessagesJonathan November 25, 2015
M: So my paper is basically about the most “memorable message” you received during your
college life. It is NOT an experience; it is a message/advice someone has given you. So you
ready?
J: Sure, can I get an overview of the questions first?
M: Sure, sure. These are it.
J: Alright. I’m ready.
M: Alright. When you were asked to think about a “memorable message” from your college
experience, what came to mind?
J: Well, the first thing that came to my mind was the commencement speech made by a fellow
OU alum named Charlie Lapastora. Charlie had just received the “Meritorious Achievement
Award” and had been given the chance to speak at the 2014 Spring Commencement. Honestly,
the message wasn’t just for me though, it was for the whole student body. However, his words
really spoke to me that day, as both a student and a person.
M: Do recall the exact words of the message? What were they?
J: I don’t recall the exact words of the message since it was quite a lengthy speech; however, I
remember the meaning behind it well. He was basically encouraging the entire graduating class
to look beyond just achieving a good career or steady income, and to do something for those
within our OU community. He inspired me with his words about going overseas and helping
those less fortunate than him, as well as his passion for his family and friends who supported him
all the way.
MEMORABLE MESSAGES: AN ANALYSIS ON MESSAGING IMPACT 68
M: What was going on in your life at that time that made the message relevant to you?
J: I had just finished my junior year of undergrad, and like Charlie, I was contemplating my
future after graduation. So when he revealed that he was just as clueless about what he wanted to
do with the rest of his life, I was slightly comforted by his words. However, what he said
afterwards about doing more than just getting a steady job spoke to me, because there is a lot
more to life than just achieving wealth. Our community and the people that we surround
ourselves with should always come first.
M: What was your opinion of the source of the messages? So like the person who said it to you
at the time?
J: I have nothing but respect for Charlie. We may have only had one class together, but I
remember his friendly personality well. He was a Communications major, just like me, and had
achieved a lot throughout his four years at OU. Also, his faith and dedication to his own family
had really inspired me as well, because I feel the same way, and seeing that in someone else at
OU made me respect him even more.
M: How did the message affect you? In other words, did it have any impact on your actions or
your attitude – either immediately or later on? If so, what impact did it have?
J: I feel as if his message really impacted me later on in my senior year at Oakland University
because I was still a junior at the time, while he was on his way to graduating. However, as I was
approaching my own graduation, I had often thought about how I could give back to the OU
community. Then, a few weeks after I received my degree, I’d heard that OU’s Horizon League
was in need of camera operators and video production specialists. These were two areas of
interest that I had studied at Oakland University, so I figured this was the perfect way I could
give back to the school which had already given so much to me.
MEMORABLE MESSAGES: AN ANALYSIS ON MESSAGING IMPACT 69
M: If you had a chance to start over with the message in the back of your head what things would
you do different and what things would you do the same?
J: I don’t know if I’d really do anything different or the same to be honest. The message had sort
of come to me at the perfect time in my own life, which was before graduation and while I was
already studying and learning the thing that I loved doing.
M: Has this message continued to resonate with you? (in other words, is it something that you
still think about from time to time?) Why or why not?
J: I still think about it sometimes, especially while I’m working for OU’s Horizon League. It’s
what motivates me and keeps me focused on what I’m doing. Plus, I’ve spoken to Charlie since
then, and since he’s been such a huge source of inspiration for me, I usually think about it after
our talks too.
M: Is this a message you think you will pass down to others? Why or why not?
J: To be honest, I already have, especially with the students at OU’s Video Services. I always try
to remind them that there is so much more that they can do with their own talents for the OU
community. Rather than just use it on assignments in class or at home, I try to remind and
encourage them that their skills have actual real world applications.
M: Why should someone care about this message?
J: As I said before, there’s a lot more to life than just a fancy house or corporate career. The
people whom we associate with or consider close to us should be our priority before anything
else. Plus, we should always be willing to give back to the community in which we were raised.
J: Anything else you want to add?
M: Sure, if you’re interested in hearing speech for yourself, I think it’s on YouTube somewhere
if that helps you.
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