BRAILLORAMA

September 2008

Jaargang 39 No. 9

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Gedruk in Braille

Deur Brailledienste van Blind SA

Privaatsak X9005

Crown Mines

2025

Tel. (27) 11 839-1793

Faks: (27) 11 839-1217E-Pos: philip@blindsa.org.za

Besoek ons tuisblad by:

http://www.blindsa.org.za

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Redaksie: Christo de Klerk

Martie de Klerk

Philip Jordaan

::::::::::::Uitgewers: Blind SA

::::::::::::Rig alle korrespondensie aan: Die Redakteur,Privaatsak X9005, Crown Mines, 2025,

Johannesburg, R.S.A.

InhoudInhoudBoeregebed`Kyk hoe kyk hulle vir my!`Hou vas aan julle stoele vir hierdie AFRIKANERS!!!Kredietkaart: Ja of Nee?Mars se grond dalk net reg vir aspersiesMy kind in 'n land vol geweld

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Boeregebeddeur Bart OttoBY, Saterdag 2.8.2008

O almagtige heer, u wat so alomwetend isu wat ook ontsettend wys isu wat die aarde gemaak het en alles daaropu wat die swaeltjie en die olifant voedu wat mielies en dagga laat skietu wat die sterre gemaak het ten spyt van die groot knalwat die waters van die rooisee gekloof hetwat die gebooie aan ons gegee hetu wat ons en die diereryk bewaar het in u dienaar se arku wat abraham gesê het om sy seun te vermoorgelukkig toe net 'n poetsu wat werklik water in cabernet kan toorwat 'n horde kan voermet handvol buns en paar harderswat 'n man na veertig dag en veertig nag vanuit orkase pens gered hetwat 'n kadawer vanuit sy koue slaap gewek heten die lammes laat loop hetdie 02l sê ook u kan duiwels verjaagwie kan dit nadoen almagtig heer?hier kniel ek op my knieg voor u nutloos voor u majesteit ek is so ontsettend nietigen so oneindig hulploosonnosel soos u dienstige eselvoel soms soos u vlooi op u sogu skaap wat herderloos wagek is so grensloos armoedig van geesso liglowig en selfs soms byglowig moet ek erkenboonop in sonde ontvang en geboorek doen veel wat my skaammy vlees lamlendig my gees mankoliekigwat sou ek doen sonder u wat my daagliks leiu wat my dag beskikmy voete plaas een voor anderu wat my eintlik sê wat om te doenu wat my pamper u wat my voer u wat my oorsienoor en oor en oor en oorek verneder my heer voor

u grensloos vergifnis en ruim verdraagsaamheidtog met onvoorspelbare toornwat 'n voorbeeld o heer is u nieek dank u o almagtige – nie net 'n dankie nie'n grote dankbaarheid stu op uit my hartdankie vir wie ek isdankie vir my wonderlike uitverkore taalen geseënde bleke omslagdankie vir my skole en my huis van die heer, my skans teen die heidensmy taal deur u en pannevis gemaakom my skuiling te weesteen die donkertedankie vir die bulle en steve en patriciadankie dat u hougaard se balle oorstuurdat hy dankbaar u erken na elk skopdankie vir die huisgenoot rapport en sondie briewe daarin van gelowiges soos ekons dank u vir die nederige skotdie aartappelboer deur u as dertiende apostelgestuur as herder vir u rigtinglose kuddesoos hul sê hy wat die lof in loftus sitmaar sonder om ondankbaar te weesas moontlik, laat hom nes uselfdie woord in ons eie taal uitspreekmaar net as dit u wil is natuurlikdankie vir ons held onse hansiein ons nietigheid besef ons u koester homen klou hom aan u borsten spyt van wat king kon sêhy was maar net mens soos ekdankie vir dapper krygsman wouterdankie vir vliegmasjien en gifals afkomstig van u in wysheid u weet wat goed is vir heidensaadons hou die kollektebord voleet maandeliks 'n blokkie witbrooden sluk 'n marsalatjie op udankie vir 'n verwoerd van hollanden sy wyse tuislandbeleidplurale sake, afsonderlik maar gelykdankie vir die driekamerhuisen die raad van die president helaas als nou nie meer

maar u't mos haarfyn beplanen eendag sal ons verstaanu plan het 'n eintlike doeldankie vir u beskikking van nege elfdie herout van mohammeds val eendagen dankie vir die moedigheid van die groot leieren sy hondjie wat die sekelmaan bestormu berei 'n kamer in u paleis vir homen tony en rummy en dickwat die christenloses uitmekaar blaassonder hoop op hemel of maagdwees tog met saartjie mevrou pienaar se kinden petrus van ou gert hul wat so worstel met die doodin donkere schuur en blink panoraamen groete aan meneer geertsensoos u weet tans aan u borsso skielik geneem maar dit was u wilso skitter hy tans aan u hemeltransso bloei hy nou in u tuin vol blomons weet u het 'n plan sodankie vir die aardskuddings in sjinaen die wind en waters by irwaddidankie vir tornados in kansasom nie te praat van die bagdad bomdankie vir die tsunami van laaskeeren ook vir die mynramp van moredis after all u goed wat breeken dankie dat dit nie in parow was nieons weet u het 'n plan eendag sal ons weetwanneer ons by u aan die regterhandvan god die vader en u maat die heilige geesaansluit by ons geliefdeswat weggeruk is tydig en onvolgens u plandankie dat ek nie vrolik is vadermy kleed nie pienk is nie heernie uitspattig met my pier wat waaisoos hul in sodom en blink gemorveral dat my seun nie fyntjies isen in die eerstespan kan sakwat soos u heilige 02l verklaarsodomsbende is lucifersaaddankie vir alles hierbo genoem, almagtigeook wat ek mag vergeeten as ek in vermetelheid mag byvra

gee div se manne mag en talenteom die silwer vaar te troefons weet mos u bloed is ook groenamen

`Kyk hoe kyk hulle vir my!`Marida Fitzpatrick

Naweek-Beeld, Saterdag 9 Augustus 2008

Johan wil `noot vir noot` maak totdat hy stokoud isHy het in sy lewe nog nooit "kyk hoe kyk sy vir my" gesê nie. Johan Stemmet lag. "In my lewe nog nooit nie," sê hy weer. Dit was Casper de Vries. ,h@y het met die kyk-hoe-kyk-ding begin."Dit was s@y sêdingetjie, maar hy het dit in die Johan Stemmet-persona gedoen en toe gooi hy die duimpies by en als."Dan maak Johan vir Casper na wat hom namaak. Hy gooi sy duime in gelid, wikkel hulle, trek sy valkwenk-broue tot teenaan sy haarlyn en doen Johan Stemmet amper net so goed soos Casper hom doen: "Hey jy, kyk hoe kyk jy vi' my," en dan 'n bietjie hoër, "kyk hoe kyk jy vi' my".Hy skater. Dan's hy weer die gewone Johan Stemmet, sy duime terug op hul gewone plekke, sy wenkbroue weer net bo sy oë."Nou dink almal dis my sêding, maar dis eintlik Casper s'n. Dankie Casper, ek verdien nie die krediet nie, maar ek gaan dit maar vat."Johan se immergroen Noot vir noot is nou terug op die TV met sy 31ste reeks. En, voeg hy in sy noppies by, die program se voortbestaan op SABC2 is tot minstens 2011 verseker. "Ons het geteken vir nog 88 episodes; dit wil sê vier reeks van 22 episodes elk."Noot vir noot is in sy 18de jaar en Johan in sy 57ste. Klink al te veel na 'n middeljarige man met 'n jong minnares ... Dan staan daar boonop in sy garage 'n silwer afslaankap Mercedes-Benz.Maar Johan ontken dit ten sterkste. "Middeljarekrisis?" vra hy. Sy oë lag. "Wat jy wa-a-a-a-ar kry?"Sy grootste sondeNiks aan Johan se mondering vanoggend is bont of uitspattig nie. Sedig en stylvol sit hy in behoorlike skakerings van blou. "Ek het my vrek gelag vir my onderbaadjies wat ek gedra het. Baie keer het ek gekyk en gedink: `Jis, jy lyk soos 'n blêddie clown`"

Hy kruis sy bene op die sitkamer-bank in hul lieflike huis hoog op die koppie in Northcliff, Johannesburg. Van die balkon af kan jy tot in Kempton Park sien.Binne voel als wit en appelkoos en buite groen en welig met palms, rotse en watervalle. Hulle bly al sedert 1981 hier, Johan en Colleen, sy Engelsprekende vrou wat skoolhoof by Roosevelt High is.Hulle het twee seuns, albei in hul twintigs. "Wanneer is ons getroud? Sommer nou die dag, 28 jaar gelede."Dis die ding van ouderdom, sê hy, die tyd gaan al hoe vinniger verby.Hy is nou 56. "Dis scary." Sy oë rek. "Dis baie scary." Jy knip jou oë en dan's jy daar."Die goeie ding is dat hy nou vir die eerste keer 'n paar grys hare kry."Ek is so opgewonde daaroor."

Hy vryf teen sy linkerslaap. "Kyk, hier's hulle. Ek sal nooit hare kleur en facelifts kry nie. Jy moet wees wie jy is. Nee, ek is nie ydel nie. Glad nie, glad nie, glad nie."Hy dink 'n bietjie. "Maar een ding waarmee ek stoei, is my gewig. Ek's mal vir seekos en rooiwyn. My grootste sonde is eet."Maar nee, sê hy, hy voel nie oud nie. "Ek sit en dink nou: Wat is 'n middeljarekrisis? Toe ek 50 geword het, het ek my vrou gelos en saam met 'n 18-jarige vrou op die Italiaanse Riviera gaan bly ..."Hy laat die grappie 'n rukkie in die lug hang voordat hy begin lag."Neeee," grom hy, "nee, man, daar's g'n middeljarekrisis nie."Hy skuif op die bank rond. "Kyk, 'n mens kom agter jou liggaam kan nie meer doen wat hy eers kon nie, maar ek hardloop nog drie kilo's 'n dag. Dis wat my aan die gang hou. My skoonma is nou 80 en sy tap-dance nog; doen konserte, soos sy sê, vir die oumense.Hy kry lag vir homself. "Op 80 gaan ek Noot vir noot maak in my ouetehuis.Pille of suiker?Dis 'n grappie, maar eintlik is dit waar. Johan sal op 80 nog graag Noot vir noot wil maak, want hy is banger vir aftree as vir die dood. Dis sy een groot vrees: om eendag nie meer te werk nie."Ek is nie bang vir 60 nie; ek is net bang daar gaan 'n punt kom wat ek gaan moet ophou."Hy sug. "Daar gaan 'n einde kom aan als. Noot vir noot kan nie altyd hou nie."Hy raak nooit moeg daarvoor nie; nie vir die deelnemers of die musiek-fabriek of die gehoor nie. "Weet jy, dis élke keer vir my lekker."Van kleins af wou hy mense vermaak. Waar hy in Namakwaland en aan die Weskus grootgeword het, het hy as kind teen betaling vir ander kinders gesing, lag hy."En ek het in dansorkeste gespeel vandat ek 11 jaar oud is."As jy 'n vermaakkunstenaar is, doen jy enig?ts ,- dis deel van die job, sê Johan. "Jy moet gaan staan langs die grocery counter en dan jou plaat sing. En as jy 'n paar flikflakke kan doen, dan doen jy dít ook."Hy's lief vir sing en hy's lief vir vermaak, maar sy eintlike talent is sy liefde vir mense."Ek huil saam met mense en lag saam met mense. As ek gaan uiteet en daar staan 'n carwatch, dan sal ek 'n goeie halfuur met hom gesels."Dis een van die redes hoekom Noot vir noot so suksesvol is: Hy kry die deelnemers sover om hulself te wees. "Hy staan daar, hy's skaam, hy's op sy senuwees. Dan spot ek met hom op 'n mooi manier, sodat hy vir homself kan lag. Die oomblik dat jy daai punt bereik, breek jy deur alle grense. Dan skil iets van hom af."Hy staan op en gaan maak vir ons koffie. "Drink julle suiker of pille?" wil hy weet. "Ek drink pille," sê hy en hou die Canderel-houertjie bo sy koppie koffie. "Hoekom? Want ek het 'n gewig."Die heel lekkersteJa, die lewe is vir hom lekker, sug hy met die koffie wat verby sy neus stoom. "As ek soggens wakker word, is ek opgewonde."Hy raak wel kwaad. "O, ek kan my moer strip." En gefrustreerd, gefrustréérd, beklemtoon hy. Maar nooit moedeloos nie. "Nooit nie, nooit nie. Nee, mens moet altyd hoop hê." Hy dink 'n bietjie. Daar was egter 'n tyd, dink hy terug, agt jaar gelede ...

Sy pa, mnr. Gabriël (Gawie) Stemmet, is vermoor, doodgewurg. "My pa het alleen in Somerset-Wes gebly. My ma is twee jaar tevore oorlede. Toe kom daar rowers in en vermoor hom. "O, dit was 'n vreeslike tyd in my lewe. Jy's so kwaad en jy voel so moedeloos and it's just so unfair. Sulke goed gebeur met jou en dan is die lewe nie hierdie wonderlike plek om in te lewe nie."Wat hom hoop gee en wat hom weer lus maak vir die lewe, is vlieg.Destyds, toe hy so baie deur die land getoer het met konserte, het hy self begin vlieg sodat hy minder tyd op die pad hoef deur te bring.Nou besit hy 'n girokopter waarmee hy elke nou en dan na sy wildplaas in die Bosveld vlieg. "Dis vir my die heel lekkerste ding. Dis die ding waarna ek die heel meeste uitsien."Ook op die lekker-lysie is motors. "Ou karre," sê hy dromerig. Hy gaan wys vir ons sy 1980 Mercedez-Benz 450SL. "Dis 'n lieflike ou karretjie dié. Kyk daar," sê hy toe hy die swart kap afslaan, "is dit nie pragtig nie?" Toe ons hom ná die onderhoud groet en wegry, ry hy met sy "lieflike karretjie" voor, want hy is op pad kantoor toe. Noot vir noot toe. Met die afgeslaande kap en sy hare in die wind, haas die middeljarige man hom na sy 18-jarige minnares.By die verkeerslig by Northcliff Corner hou hy langs my stil. Ek draai die passasiersvenster af, want hy wil iets sê. "Dit voel snaaks so in die oop kar," sê hy in die ry.Dan roep hy benoud bo die Merc se gebrul uit: "Kyk hoe kyk hulle vir my!"Húlle sal ek lank onthouIn amper 18 jaar se Noot vir noot het hulle al baie deelnemers gehad – van breinchirurge tot treindrywers. Maar die volgende sal Johan nie sommer vergeet nie:* "Daar was 'n vrou, Joey, ons eerste Engelse deelnemer. Sy was goed. Ek onthou toe ek haar vra wat sy doen, het sy gesê sy's 'n huisvrou, maar sy steek nie haar hande in koue water nie."* "Zelda (Meyer) van Secunda. Niemand kon haar nog wen nie."* "'n Ou wat verneuk het. Ek kan sy naam onthou, maar ek sal dit nie noem nie. Met ons eerste stel kon jy 'n manier kry om my kaartjie te sien wanneer jy op die punt staan. Dié ou het verskriklik goed gedoen, maar as dit by die maak-en-breek kom, dan weet hy niks nie. Toe kom ons agter hy het op my kaartjie gekyk. Ons moes die hele stel afbreek en 'n nuwe een bou."* "Vir Daantjie (Badenhorst) natuurlik. Hy's een van daai ouens wat net goed is, wat net die antwoorde ken."* Ferdi (Venter), ons eerste blinde deelnemer. Dit was baie spesiaal."

Hou vas aan julle stoele vir hierdie AFRIKANERS!!!(ontvang via e-pos)

Afrikaans Graad 8: Maak 'n sin met "ter aarde bestel",- Wie op ter aarde bestel so 'n groot koek?

Wiskunde graad 9: Gee die formule om die oppervlakte van 'n sirkel te bepaal.,- Paai straal kordaat.

Aardrykskunde Graad 10: Hoe het berge ontstaan?,- Deur baie sterk winde.

Rekenaarstudie Graad 12: Waarom moet rekenaargebruikers gereeld rugsteunkopieë maak?,- Sodat hulle nie rugpyn kry nie.

Geskiedenis Graad 11: In watter jaar het Suid-Afrika 'n unie geword?,- Ek weet nie meneer. Maar 'n geseënde Kersfees en 'n voorspoedige Nuwejaar vir meneer en meneer se gesin.

Afrikaans: Voltooi: Hoe kaler jonker ...,- Hoe stouter in die donker.

Wiskunde Graad 8: Wat is regoorstaande hoeke?,- Dit is hoeke wat vir mekaar kyk.

Geskiedenis Graad 8: Waarom is die Mona Lisa-skildery so baie werd?,- Omdat sy so 'n mooi vrou was.

Bybelkunde Graad 8: Waar het die koning van Israel twee afgodsbeelde laat oprig?,- In Jerusalem en Gauteng.

As kinders nog te klein is om pille te sluk, hoe kan 'n mens vir hulle medisyne ingee?,- Tepelsgewys. (teelepelsgewys)

Waar word sykouse vervaardig?,- By Pep Stors.

Waarom is die seun in die verhaal gestraf?,- Omdat hy sy eie virgin van die volkslied gesing het.

Noem drie soorte grafiese rekenaarpakkette wat 'n mens kry.,- Reghoekiges, rondes en langwerpiges.

Noem die vier seisoene.,- Sout, peper, mosterd en asyn.

Hoe word dou gevorm?,- Die son skyn op die blare en dan sweet hulle.

Wat veroorsaak getye in die see?,- Die getye is 'n geveg tussen die aarde en die maan. Al die water wil na die maan vloei, want daar is nie water op die maan nie. Ek het vergeet waar die son in die geveg inkom.

Watter waarborge kan 'n bank vereis as hulle 'n huisverband toestaan?,- As jy 'n huis koop, kan hulle aandring dat jy goed geërf het.

Hoe belangrik is eleksies in 'n demokratiese samelewing?,- Baie belangrik. Voortplanting kan slegs gebeur as 'n man 'n eleksie het.

Wat is 'n terminale siekte?,- As jy op die lughawe siek word.

Koop slim met Ina OppermanKredietkaart: ja of nee?Naweek-Beeld, Saterdag 12 Julie 2008

Gebruik plastiek só regHoewel gebruikers in die lig van die hoë rentekoerse tans gewaarsku word teen die gebruik van kredietkaarte, is die stukkie plastiek steeds in almal se beursies en werk hulle nog lekker.Jy moet egter baie versigtig wees wanneer jy jou kredietkaart gebruik, deur dit eerstens wys te gebruik sodat jy jouself nie in onnodige skuld dompel nie.Tweedens moet jy dit versigtig gebruik en nie skelms die geleentheid gee om dit vír jou te doen nie.Koop slim met Ina het by verskeie kredietkaartverskaffers – Virgin Money, Absa, Nedbank en Eerste Nasionale Bank – wenke gaan soek wat verbruikers in gedagte moet hou wanneer hulle hul kredietkaarte gebruik.

Wenke vir gemoedsrusVolgens Virgin Money kos kredietkaartskelms Suid-Afrika R50 miljoen per jaar.'n Paar eenvoudige voorsorgmaatreëls kan dit keer.* Teken dadelik jou nuwe kaart en vernietig die ou kaart.* Skeur eni= kredietkaartstrokies wat jy wil weggooi in klein stukkies op om identiteitsdiefstal te keer.* Moet nooit jou kredietkaartnommer faks nie. ,enig""? kan dit só misbruik.* Wees versigtig wanneer jy jou kredietkaartnommer op die internet of oor die foon uitgee. Maak seker dit is iemand wat jy kan vertrou.* Hou jou kaart in jou gesigsveld gedurende alle transaksies.* Wanneer jy aanlyn koop met jou kredietkaart, maak seker die adres begin met https://. Die "s" beteken dit is 'n veilige konneksie en 'n klein slotjie verskyn in die onderste regterkantste hoek wat aandui dit is veilig om jou kredietkaartnommer te stuur.

* Bel dadelik jou kredietkaartverskaffer indien jy iets verdag in verband met jou kaart opmerk.* Meld 'n gesteelde kaart dadelik aan. Die kaart word dan dadelik gestop.* Gaan elke maand jou kredietkaartstaat goed deur. Bevraagteken eni= ongemagtigde transaksies.

* Moenie jou geheime nommer neerskryf nie. Memoriseer dit eerder, maar as jy dit moet neerskryf, moenie dit op dieselfde plek as jou kaart hou nie.

Absa waarsku:* Wanneer jou kredietkaart in 'n OTM vassit of ingesluk word, bel die noodafdeling vir kaarte dadelik.* Gebruik 'n geheime nommer wat nie maklik geraai kan word nie.* Verander jou geheime nommer gereeld.* Behalwe vir jou kaartbesonderhede, moet jy ook nie die vervaldatum of die laaste drie syfers agterop vir iemand oor die foon gee of op die internet nie, tensy dit 'n handelaar met 'n goeie reputasie is.

Eerste Nasionale bank waarsku:* Moenie kredietkaarte ronddra wat jy nie gebruik nie.* Moenie jou handsak of beursie laat rondlê nie.* Hou kaartstrokies om jou rekeningstaat na te gaan.* Moenie jou kaartbesonderhede gee as iemand dit in 'n e-pos vra nie, al lyk dit ook hoe amptelik. Geen bank sal dit doen nie.* Indien jy die opsie het om met jou krediet- of debietkaart te betaal gebruik jou kredietkaart en suiwer die bedrag later aan omdat die "skimmer"-masjien nie die geheime nommer kan lees nie.

Nedbank waarsku:* Oppas dat niemand jou identiteit steel en só toegang kry tot jou bankrekening nie.* Maak seker dat jou kaart nooit omgeruil word nie. * Sorg dat niemand kan sien wat jou geheime nommer is wanneer jy dit intik nie.

Kredietkaart nuttig vir slim verbruikersAbsa sê as jy jou kredietkaart verantwoordelik gebruik, kan dit jou koopkrag vergroot.Kredietkaart* Jy het by Absa tot 57 dae rentevrye krediet op jou kaart as jy hom gebruik as betaalmiddel. Indien jy die hele uitstaande balans binne die 57 dae betaal, betaal jy nie rente nie.* 'n Kredietkaart is veiliger as kontant. * As jy geld op jou kredietkaart trek, is dit goedkoper om by jou eie bank se kitsbank te trek.* Jy betaal nie by Absa transaksiegeld indien jy lopende aftrekkings soos debietorders daarop het nie.* As jy sukkel om jou kredietkaartpaaiemente te betaal, vra die verskaffer om te help met 'n afbetalingsplan.* Jy kan transaksies met kaarte soos dié van Absa omkeer soos toe 'n plaaslike lugdiens toegemaak het en so vinniger jou geld terugkry. * Sommige kaarte bied jou gratis reisversekering en 'n brandstofkaart.Eerste Nasionale Bank se raad is om die kaart te kies wat reg is vir jou behoeftes.'n Goue kaart is nie altyd wat jy nodig het nie en kos jou net elke maand meer aan bankkoste.

* By FNB is die rentevrye periode 55 dae, tensy die betrokke transaksies verband hou met kontantonttrekkings, brandstofkaartgebruik of elektroniese oordragte.* Kaartbetalings vir reise sluit ook reisversekering in.* Dis gerieflik om met 'n kredietkaart te reis.* Betaal jou kaart deur middel van 'n debietorder sodat jy altyd krediet beskikbaar het.Bestuur jou kaartlimiet en moenie dit as die wenstreep sien nie.* FNB kan ook in die huidige moeilike ekonomiese tye help as jy sukkel om jou kaart af te betaal. Nedbank se kredietkaarte word wêreldwyd aanvaar as dit deur Visa, MasterCard of American Express onderskryf word.* By Nedbank is die rentevrye tydperk ook 55 dae, behalwe as jy kontant trek of die kaart by 'n casino gebruik.* Jy het 'n begrotingsdeel wat jy vir groot aankope kan gebruik en maandeliks tot oor 36 maande kan afbetaal. * Oppas vir laat betalings. As jy nie meer kan byhou met jou paaiemente nie, kan Nedbank ook help.* Moet liewer nie vir klere, kos, vakansies of vermaak met jou kredietkaart betaal nie.Die goed wat jy met jou kredietkaart koop, soos meubels, behoort langer te hou as jou skuld.

Mars se grond dalk net reg vir aspersiesBeeld, 28 Junie 2008Navorsers verstom oor grond wat Phoenix-tuig opgeskep hetWetenskaplikes van Nasa is "stomgeslaan" nadat hulle uitgevind het van die Mars-grond wat deur die Phoenix-landingstuig naby die noordpool van Mars opgeskep is, lyk of dit oor die nodige bestanddele beskik om lewe in stand te kan hou.Hoewel meer toetse volgens Reuters nog gedoen moet word, wil dit voorkom asof dié Mars-grond nie veel anders is as die grond in jou agtertuin nie. Wetenskaplikes van Nasa se Phoenix-sending, wat reeds ys op dié planeet gevind het, het gesê 'n voorlopige ontleding van 'n grondmonster wat deur die robot-arm van dié landingstuig opgeskep is, toon dat dié grond baie meer alkalies is as wat verwag is."Dit wil voorkom asof ons basies die nodige bestanddele gevind het om lewe in dié grond te kan in stand hou – of dit nou lewe in die verlede, hede of toekoms is," het dr. Sam Kounaves, hoofwetenskaplike van die Phoenix-projek, gesê."Dis die soort grond wat jy in jou tuin kan hê, met ander woorde alkalies. Aspersies sal waarskynlik lekker daarin groei. Dis baie opwindend vir ons."

Daar is volgens Reuters bevind dat die grond alkalies is, met 'n pH van tussen 8 en 9."Ons was stomgeslaan toe ons dié data terugkry," het Kounaves gesê.Kounaves het egter gesê dié resultate is nog "baie voorlopig" en verdere ontleding sal nodig wees om vas te kan stel of lewe ooit op Mars kon of kan bestaan."Daar is egter niks in die grond gevind wat lewe sou kon uitsluit nie."Dr. Michael Hecht, 'n grond-ontledingspesialis van die Phoenix-span, het gesê toe die pH-resultate van die Mars-grond bekend geraak het, het een kollega "op en af gespring asof hy die lottery gewen het".

My kind in 'n land vol geweldDeur Marius GreeffLig, Junie 2008

Ons leef in 'n geweldsmoeë land waar kinders toenemend aan geweld blootgestel word ,- hetsy as slagoffers of as toeskouers. Waar kinders tien jaar gelede die slagoffers van motorkapings of dalk 'n grypdief by 'n verkeerslig was, gebeur dit nou al hoe meer dat hulle deel word van die statistieke by huisaanvalle. 'n Verslag van die Amerikaanse Menseregtedepartement meld dat daar in 2007 23 453 kinders in Suid-Afrika verkrag, 1 075 vermoor en 20 879 aangerand is. Hoe gemaak as jóú kind deel van dié statistiek word?"Hulle het my ma en pa geskop en aanmekaar gevra: Waar is die gewere? My pa het gesê ons het nie gewere nie. Toe het hulle 'n kombers oor ons gegooi. Ek het gedink hulle gaan ons skiet."So vertel die driejarige Chantel.Die tienjarige Samantha Picton-Turberville van Waterkloofrif was in 'n soortgelyke voorval betrokke, maar met 'n minder gelukkige einde. Twee mans het skielik in hulle agterplaas gestaan waar hulle as gesin saam ontspan het. Haar vasgebinde pa het gevra: "Moet asseblief nie die kinders seermaak nie, julle kan enig?ts vat." Toe is hy koelbloedig voor Samantha, haar boetie en haar ma in die kop geskiet. Sedertdien sukkel Samantha om te praat.

Marita Rademeyer van die Kindertraumakliniek in Garsfontein, Pretoria, skilder 'n donker prentjie van die effek wat geweld op ons kinders het. Sy wys op navorsing wat toon dat die voortdurende blootstelling aan geweld 'n ernstige negatiewe uitwerking op kinders het. Daar word deesdae selfs beweer dat so 'n kind se breinontwikkeling en -funksionering daardeur aangetas kan word. So ernstig het die situasie geraak, dat daar reeds van post-traumatiese stressindroom by kinders gepraat word.Wat ervaar kinders?Voorvalle waartydens hulle slagoffers of toeskouers was, is geweldig traumaties vir jong kinders, verduidelik Marita, wat feitlik elke dag met diésulkes werk. "'n Week gelede het 'n 13-jarige seun en sy sussie (10) aan my gedemonstreer hoe dit voel wanneer 'n geweer teen jou kop gedruk word. Hulle en hulle pa is in die sussie se kamer vasgebind. Die ma is in die huis rondgesleep terwyl die rowers gedreig het om haar te verkrag.""My huis in nie meer veilig nie"

Dit is egter nie net die traumatiese gebeure wat die kinders raak nie, verduidelik Marita, maar ook die ontnugtering dat dié plek, wat nog altyd beskerming gebied het, nie meer veilig is nie. Hier was vreemde mense, hulle het hier ingebars en beheer oorgeneem, terwyl die pa ,- die beskermer ,- magteloos moes toekyk ...Die gevolg is dat sulke kinders dikwels nêrens meer veilig voel nie ,- nie by die skool nie, nie wanneer hulle aan sport deelneem nie, nêrens nie! Tensy so 'n kind professionele berading ontvang, sal die emosionele letsels bl@y4 Selfs wanneer 'n motorruit by 'n verkeerslig gebreek en 'n handsak gegryp word, kan dit ewe traumaties vir 'n kind wees. Hy beskou die motor as 'n verlengstuk van die huis en dus van sy veiligheid.

Volwassenes sal na 'n inbraak dalk sê dat dit "darem nie so erg was nie, hulle het ingekom en nét ons goed gesteel, ons was gelukkig agter die veiligheidshek". Maar so 'n insident verander die wyse waarop 'n kind na die wêreld kyk. Dit is oneindig meer as byvoorbeeld die finansiële verlies ,- dit verander hulle beeld van mense en ook van goed en sleg. En van veiligheid.

Post-Traumatiese Stresstoornis (PTSS)PTSS is een van die tipiese reaksies wat kinderslagoffers ná so 'n traumatiese voorval vertoon. Hoe omvangryk die effek van geweld in ons land reeds is, blyk uit navorsing wat toon dat tussen 20% en 38% van die Suid-Afrikaanse jeug volwaardige lyers aan PTSS is. Die ooreenstemmende wêreldsyfer is tussen sowat drie en vyf persent.SIMPTOME VAN PTSS* Konsentrasieprobleme.* 'n Hoë opwekkingsvlak kan waargeneem word. "Die kind se lont is baie kort!" Hy skrik maklik, is angstig, gespanne, aggressief, geïrriteerd, bekommerd, vreesagtig en gefrustreerd. Hy verkeer in 'n veg-of-vlugmodus en ervaar woede-uitbarstings.* Negatiewe terugflitse en vermydingsresponse kom voor. As die aanvaller 'n swart hoed gedra het, en die kind sien iemand met so 'n hoed, sal sy liggaam spontaan in 'n stresreaksie oorgaan. Hy sal begin huil en nie sy eie reaksie verstaan nie, omdat hy dalk nie eens geregistreer het wat hy gesien het nie. 'n Klein sneller ontketen met ander woorde 'n volledige fisiologiese reaksie by die kinderslagoffer. Tesame hiermee is daar gewoonlik 'n vermydingsrespons. Die kind wil nie weer in die motor ry wat deel van die aanval was nie, of verby die plek ry waar hulle gekaap is nie, of in dié deel van die huis kom waar die rowers was nie, of hoegenaamd daaroor praat nie.* Die kind se totale funksionering is afgestomp. Niks is meer lekker nie, hy is lusteloos, kan nie slaap nie, eet te veel of te min, sit ure voor die televisie, maak baie moeilik sosiaal kontak. Akademiese prestasie verswak.* Op die langer termyn lei PTSS tot depressie, selfmoord, alkohol- en dwelmmisbruik en promiskue seksuele verhoudings. Lyers se interpersoonlike verhoudings is dikwels traumaties. 'n Groot aantal volwassenes wat tans sielkundige behandeling ontvang, het as kinders aan PTSS gely. Tragies genoeg bereik baie van hierdie slagoffers nooit hulle volle potensiaal nie, en bly dus onvervuld.Breinfunksionering kan veranderNog 'n skokkende gevolg van kinders se blootstelling aan geweld is dat dit hulle breinfunksionering kan beïnvloed. Veral waar kinders langdurige blootstelling aan geweld ervaar ,- soos dit byvoorbeeld by sommige township-inwonertjies voorkom ,- of waar kinders nie die trauma behoorlik verwerk het sodat hulle daarna met hulle lewens kan aangaan nie, kan die brein en dus die gedrag "aangetas" word. Langdurige en verwaarloosde PTSS lei tot permanente veranderings in die brein en in gedragspatrone. Daar is reeds bevind dat getraumatiseerde kinders dikwels meer aggressief en afknouerig teenoor ander kinders optree. Ook dat daar 'n sterk verband tussen PTSS en latere kriminele gedrag is.

Sekondêre traumaNog 'n uitvloeisel van die geweld waaraan kinders blootgestel word, is sekondêre trauma. Al was 'n kind nie self die slagoffer van 'n aanval nie, het die blootstelling aan ander se

trauma sekere breinreaksies tot gevolg wat op die lange duur ook tot PTSS en gevolglike gedragsafwykings kan lei. Wat hiertoe bydra, is die feit dat kinders met negatiewe, aggressiewe en traumatiese impulse gebombardeer word. Vriende (en vriende van die ouers) vertel dikwels in kleur en geur van die voorvalle waarin hulle betrokke was, of waarvan hulle gehoor of gelees het. Dan is daar die soms aggressiewe inhoude van televisieprogramme en videospeletjies. En gedurig hoor die kind: Onthou die tannie wie se handsak laasweek van haar skoot af gesteel is! Moenie vergeet van nou die dag se gewapende roof onder in die straat nie! Sluit die 4e6

Wat kan ouers doen?* Gesels rustig met jou kind oor die omvang en oorsake van die geweldsituasie in die land ,- verkieslik nie ná 'n gebeurtenis wat almal ontstel het nie.* Verseker jou kind dat jy as ouer alles doen wat jy kan om die huis te beveilig.* Verseker jou kind dat God in beheer is, dat Hy altyd by ons is. Herinner hom/haar daaraan dat slegte goed soms met goeie mense gebeur.* Maak gebede vir vrede in ons land en vir 'n afname van die geweld deel van julle daaglikse roetine, selfs aan die etenstafel.* Verduidelik dat daar 'n rede is waarom ons in Suid-Afrika woon. As God wil hê dat ons moet trek, sal Hy dit so beskik. Maar tot dan is ons hier, en glo ons dat dit nou sy plan vir ons lewens is. Daarom moet ons hier ons beste doen ,- vir mekaar en vir hierdie land ,- en leef soos wat Hy van ons verwag, al is dit nie altyd maklik nie.* Lees en bespreek die volgende Bybelgedeeltes: Jes 43:1b-2 en Jak 1:2-5. Ook Paulus is as gelowige aan gevaar blootgestel (2 Kor 11:26-27, Rom 8:35-39).* Beskerm jou kind teen die aggressie op televisie, die radio en in koerante. Ontmoedig kinders om aggressiewe speletjies te speel en moedig hulle aan om aan ander aktiwiteite deel te neem.* Ondersteun instansies wat betrokke is by misdaadbekamping. Bak 'n koek vir die polisie of vir die mense by 'n welsynorganisasie in jou omgewing en neem jou kind saam om dit te gaan afgee.* Bring baie meer tyd met jou kind(ers) deur. Kinders het al hoe meer begeleiding nodig om sin te maak uit dit wat rondom hulle aan't gebeur is. As hulle dit nie by hulle ouers kry nie, gaan hulle dit by iemand anders soek, wat nie noodwendig 'n positiewe gevolge sal hê nie.

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Braillorama EnglishContents

Uneasy truce between KP and BiffTimes of the signThe world's 10 silliest sporting eventsMakro HarvestThis sharpens those genes in your brainWho said poetry is boring?Primary School Children Writing About The Sea...

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CRICKETUneasy truce between KP and Biff

COLIN BRYDENSunday Times, August 10, 2008

One-time king of bling switches to sober suit and neat haircutIT could have been a royal arrival. "Please keep this entrance clear," said the security man. Then, after a radio message: "They're on their way."A few minutes later, the lift door in the media centre at Lord's opened and England's new cricket captain stepped out, flanked by the chairman of selectors and the head of English professional cricket.It was the most remarkable step yet in the journey of Kevin Pietersen from a moderately successful South African schoolboy cricketer to England cricket hero. It also marked his progression from cricket's "king of bling" to a respectable pillar of the sport's establishment.

Gone was the diamond stud he wore in his ear as an outward sign of the riches he has made from cricket. He wore a sober suit and his hair was neat and close-cropped in contrast to the variety of hairstyles that seemingly cried "notice me, notice me" as he made his way up cricket's ladder.He still has the pop-star wife and, presumably, the England badge tattooed on his left upper arm.Of all the Pietersen hairstyles in a montage of pictures of his career in one newspaper, none was more outrageous than the mane streaked with silver ,- some thought he resembled a skunk ,- when he played for England for the first time against South Africa on the tour of 2004/05.

Pietersen was heartily booed by SA spectators on that tour, having made critical comments about what he saw as an unfair quota system that drove him into the arms of England. He was unequivocal in stating that he no longer felt any cricketing allegiance to the country of his birth, although he has said in interviews he loves the country itself and he enjoys travelling to SA to holiday with his family.The more the crowds booed, the better he performed.His English-born mother Penny, the source of his British passport, reportedly was reduced to tears by the abuse but Pietersen rose to the challenge. Three times in seven one-day international matches he made centuries, an almost unheard-of success rate in limited-overs games. When he reached his hundreds he kissed the England badge on his helmet. Subtle he was not. There was a famous exchange of insults between Pietersen and SA captain Graeme Smith, whom he described as a muppet, saying he had disliked Smith almost immediately. Smith accused Pietersen of turning his back on his own country.The animosity has been reduced to normal sporting competitiveness during the current series.

Pietersen said before the Oval Test: "The start of my relationship with Smithy was interesting but there's been absolutely no problem. He's grown up, I've grown up and we're just playing cricket to the best of our abilities for our countries."Smith was less fulsome. "There's a mutual respect in terms of performance. That's probably as far as it goes."The South Africans call him "The Ego" and use it in his hearing when he batting. Not that name-calling seems to work against him. Pietersen's century in the first Test at Lord's was one of the finest innings against SA in the 17 years I have been reporting on the national team.

Opinion is divided as to whether Pietersen, 28, can meet the challenge of captaincy with the same success he has enjoyed as a player."I love challenges," he told the media after his appointment. Two days later, before the final Test against SA, he said he believed he could handle the stress of arguably the most scrutinised job in cricket, rivaled possibly only by the captaincy of India. "I've been under pressure ever since I came to England eight years ago, all day, every day, so hopefully I can deal with this."On the evidence so far, Pietersen has nothing to fear. He was a virtual unknown when he started playing English county cricket for Nottinghamshire in 2001 after a brief first-class career in SA.Whether Pietersen was a late developer or a supreme example of someone whose talent was not properly recognised is a matter for debate. He batted only at No 6 for the Maritzburg College first team and was regarded as an off-spinner who could bat a bit.He played a handful of first-class games for Natal, batting as low as 10, before former SA captain Clive Rice persuaded him to try his luck in England. Almost immediately batting became his main suit, to the extent that he rarely bowls these days. Because of his aggressive style, there were many who thought that if he did make it at international level, it would be mainly as a one-day player.But he has proved an even bigger success in Test cricket, where he has an average of more than 50 runs an innings, a mark that puts him in the top echelon of batsmen.Pietersen's selection for England was controversial. Some critics felt it wrong to select someone who was so obviously not English. Nor did his outspoken nature and unabashed ambition make him universally popular.

His departure from Nottinghamshire to Hampshire was marked by acrimony and his kit was thrown out of the dressing window by teammates happy to see him go.It was claimed that his dealings with England coach Peter Moores had not been especially cordial. But since his appointment, Pietersen has gone out of his way to exude warmth and inclusive affection.The ego remains intact, however. Former Hampshire teammate, Australian leg-spinning great Shane Warne, commented that "from today it will be his England. He will like the sound of that." Indeed, after announcing the team for the Oval, he referred proudly to "my team" and "my lads".Warne is one of several critics who have reservations about Pietersen's captaincy credentials, saying he will need to reconsider his outlook.

"He has a reputation for being an individual but to be successful, a leader must be a giver, not a taker."Former England captain Mike Atherton, now a cricket correspondent for The Times, believes Pietersen's elevation is a gamble, risking as it does his "productiveness, potency and sheer brilliance as a player". Atherton wrote that he believed the downside was greater than the potential upside.In proclaiming his desire to bring "pride and passion" back into the England team, Pietersen echoed the words used when Graeme Smith took over as SA skipper five years ago.

Seven months younger than Pietersen but with long experience as a Test captain, Smith warned that the real challenges for his rival would emerge over time. While recognising that Pietersen's single-mindedness had helped make him a world-class player, Smith warned: "Single-mindedness wasn't sustainable for me. It's only really when you bump your head and things aren't working out that you have to look at yourself."Smith says England have some "massive challenges coming up and he doesn't have any easy options".One aspect of Pietersen's character that is universally recognised is that for all his brashness he is prepared to work extremely hard. He may need all his dedication to be a successful captain of England."

Times of the signSUNDAY TIMES LIFESTYLE, JULY 27 2008 STREET CRED

Not everyone gives taxi drivers the finger, says Susan Woolf, who is compiling SA's first ever taxi sign dictionary. Report by Ziphezinhle MsimangoA SIMPLE game of association containing the term "minibus taxi" would, naturally, also conjure words like "foul", "rash" and "rickety". Which is why meeting Susan Woolf – who spent two voluntary years with minibus taxi drivers to document Gauteng's intricate taxi handsigns – is no humble surprise. Woolf, who is in her 50s, also doesn't immediately strike you as the sort who'd be at ease in just any taxi rank: She's a white woman (who lives in Sandton) and can barely count on one hand the times she's taken a taxi. Yet, venturing into the inner-workings of an industry few of us would dare enter, was her idea."As I was driving around Johannesburg, I began to notice this very complex alphabet – so I decided to put it in book-form, as part of my PhD in anthropology and art at Wits."Woolf spent most of her time contacting taxi organisations like the Greater Johannesburg Taxi Council, and says, "I'd travel into different taxi ranks, where the driverS educated me about the routes they drove and the signals used for each."Woolf is an artist by profession and personally painted all the signals used in the 67-page booklet. "Currently it covers 90% of Gauteng's taxi routes, but I am looking to research all the other provinces. I have also created a unique set of Braille symbols for blind people."

She may have compiled the booklet with artistic ideals in mind, but in the future it may well resonate with people from every social class, especially as more and more of use feel the pinch of the petrol price.

As a Sowetan child of the '80s, learning to become taxi savvy was a necessary part of my education. Becoming acquainted with this complex language as soon as possible is no LESS vital for young Sowetans today.Soweto is made up of many smaller townships, necessitating that you know exactly what taxi signal will get you to any of these more than 87 townships.One would hope, also, that the very next tour bus heading to Soweto would include Woolf's booklet as part of information distributed to tourists. But of course, they don't – not yet, at least – which is what makes the booklet so unique: In all her research, Woolf is yet to come across this kind of literature.As there was no precedent, she had to do all the work from scratch. Nevertheless, you are still confronted by any number of hazards when setting foot on a minibus taxi. There is no telling, for instance, where you'd end up if you handed a taxi driver a R100-note as payment.

As difficult as it is to fathom, Woolf insists that the "taxi drivers were all very friendly and welcoming" towards her."I think if you tell someone they are rude and uncultured, that's exactly how they will behave," she adds. "That's what has gone wrong with taxi drivers – because they get a lot of criticism from the rest of us, they reflect the negativity."However, this uncharacteristically gentle reaction toward Woolf may have sprung from their fascination with the novelty of hanging with a whitey at a taxi rank. They may also have sensed the potential commercial gains by getting involved in a project that could spawn new customers.Despite that the taxi handsigns booklet currently sits on a shelf in Woolf's studio unpublished, she says, "I'm hoping to get a corporate on board who can help me distribute the book at a low retail price. I am working very hard to make sure that this happens."

Hopefully someone will recognise that Woolf's work is the next natural frontier in a country that, through the Gautrain and taxi recapitalisation processes, is desperately trying to achieve a more effective public-transport system.But Woolf has made some gains.She recently struck a deal with the SA Post Office, which will use her taxi signals on stamps produced from May 2010 onwards. As someone who has been reliant on minibus taxi signs all my life, even my vocabulary is limited. I'm not alone in this wilderness, which makes me appreciate the need for Woolf's project all the more. And, every so often, I relive the surprised elation I felt when I discovered that someone finally had the genius to document a language used by 11-million people every day.* Susan Woolf can be contacted at www.susanwoolf.co.za

The world's 10 silliest sporting eventsSUNDAY TIMES LIFESTYLE, AUGUST 3 2008

GOOD SPORTSSilliest sporting events

Running around a track in Beijing? Boring. Try wife-carrying or dog-surfing, says Tom ChesshyreWIFE-CARRYING

Maine, USThe "Estonian carry" is the most popular technique among competitors in the American Wife Carrying Championships held each October at the mountain resort of Sunday River. Wives are hoisted with their legs over their husband's shoulders and grip their partners' waists from behind. The course covers 278m, with several hurdles and a water hazard. Winners are presented with their wife's weight in beer. A British tour operator, Bon Voyage, arranges trips.

BOTTLE-KICKINGLeicestershireEach Easter Day the inhabitants of the villages of Hallaton and Medbourne "kick" – or rather heave, push, wallop and do whatever they can to move – three kegs of beer for a mile between two streams. The kegs are called bottles; hence the sport's name. Each bottle is controlled by a "scrum" of locals, who negotiate ditches, hedges and barbed wire fences. To make things even trickier, the scrums must also carry large "hare pies". The event originated in the 1700s when two local women were saved from a raging bull after a hare startled the animal; they donated money to the church to go towards beer and hare pie for the poor.

VERTICAL MARATHONBangkokParticipants race up 1 093 stairs in the Banyan Tree's 61-floor hotel – in an annual reminder of why lifts were invented. The "finish line" is a former helicopter pad that has been turned into a restaurant. Here, cocktails are served to quench runners' thirst. The event is held each September and is open to anyone, with an entrance fee of £5 and money raised in sponsorship going to a local HIV charity, run by the Thai Red Cross. The record is six minutes and 16 seconds.

GOAT POLOKyrgyzstanNot for the faint-hearted. To celebrate happy occasions, groups of men in Kyrgyzstan take to the polo field ,- but with the carcass of a beheaded goat as the "ball". Goat polo dates back centuries, when horsemen who had killed a wolf that had been attacking their livestock used the carcass in such games.

LAUGHTER YOGABombayForget the "Downward Dog", this is uplifting stuff. No training is needed for "laughter yoga", developed by Dr Madan Kataria to relieve stress. Rhythmic clapping and chants of "Ho, ho, ho. Ha, ha, ha," lead to laughter, which is said to improve health and promote inner peace.

CHESS BOXING Germany Forget the 100m-sprint ,- for the ultimate sporting challenge, look no further than "chess-boxing". The World Chess Boxing Organisation, which lists events on its website

www.wcbo.org, says chess boxing combines "the number-one thinking sport with the number-one fighting sport". Contests consist of 11 rounds, with six involving chess and five boxing. The chess rounds last 12 minutes and include moves of four minutes' maximum. Then there is a gap of a minute and participants box for three minutes. A win can come from a knockout, a referee ending a fight, a points victory in boxing, or from a checkmate.

BOB LIKE A BUOYFinlandOn Lake Lammasjarvi in Finland, locals and tourist don oversized dry suits that are pumped full of air, allowing participants in this obscure activity to "bob around happily in the water like a collection of unanchored buoys". That is the description given by Crystal Lakes, a travel company that offers bobbing holidays. Adventurous bobbers are taken to a 200m-stretch of rapids, where they can "float down like a huge piece of debris". Organisers say the experience is "like canoeing without the canoe".

DOG-SURFINGCaliforniaDoggy paddle is viewed as cheating in this sport in which as many as 50 dogs a year take to the waves with their owners. The coolest dogs wear Hawaiian shorts and sunglasses, and there are several categories covering big dogs, small dogs and owner-and-dog (for inspiration, see the YouTube clip on the website of the international dog-surfing championship, held at Loews Coronado Bay Resort, near San Diego). The event is held each June. A Labrador, a spaniel and a jack russell were among the winners this year.

NETTLE-EATINGDorsetFat lips are not just for boxers, but are also a common hazard in one of Britain's weirdest "sports": nettle-eating. Swollen tongues are another problem facing participants in this odd pursuit that has world championships every June in the West Dorset village of Marshwood. The winner is judged to be the person who has eaten the most nettles in an hour. Participants come from as far away as Australia, according to Dorset Costal Cottages, which organises nettle-eating trips. The championships have been running for 22 years and came out of dispute in 1986 between two farmers who each argued that they possessed the longest nettles.

POLE-SITTINGDenmarkIn the harbour town of Juelsminde in Jutland, groups of locals compete each August to see how long they can sit on wooden poles. The maximum period allowed is four days – if more than one person lasts this long, they are both considered to be champion pole-sitters.The sport came about centuries ago when locals decided to see how long they could balance on poles placed in the sea to prevent attacks from Norway. The Danish Tourist Board describes the pole-sitters as "the pole sitting people in the sea" and a spokeswoman assured me that she was not making it up. "All this is true" he said.

AND ALSO ...Coffin-racing is all the rage in Manitou Springs, Colorado, each October, while Australians compete in "bottomless bathtubs and marine vessels" in a dried-out riverbed in Alice Springs in August. Alternatively, there are annual crab races at Olhuveli Beach and Spa Resort in the Maldives each year, as well as a frog-jumping competition each May in Calaveras, California, inspired by the Mark Twain short story The Celebrated Jumping Frog of Calaveras County.

Makro Harvest(received via e-mail), 14 July 2008

Wine in a PouchMany of us aren't fans of bag-in-box wines, but it is a fast-growing category and now has an interesting new variant, the pouch. This is innovative new packaging from the Company of Wine People in Stellenbosch. Although there are a couple of companies globally who have introduced wine pouches to the market place, the Versus and Arniston Bay pouches are world first in terms of packaging technology. This new design is light with convenient handles for carrying with a leak proof tap and easy to squeeze into a bag or picnic hamper. The packaging also allows contents to be cooled more rapidly than traditional glass. These packs don't have sell-by dates, but rather a filling date, and the shelf life is a minimum of 9 months due to the oxygen barrier of the packaging material. The product will last longer once opened (and stored in the ideal conditions) than a bottled wine due the fact the pouch squeezes out any oxygen as it empties and no air makes contact with the remaining wine, whereas a bottle fills with oxygen as it empties. The wine in the pouch lasts up to one month, once opened.

But the really big win with the pouch is the environmental impact. The pouch has less than 20% of the environmental impact of a wine bottle. The better environmental performance of the pouches is due fundamentally to the fact that glass bottles weigh around 20 times more than pouches and pouches take up far less space when transported across the globe. A UK analysis (by PIRA) revealed that the pouch has less than 20% of a carton footprint to glass containing the same volume of wine."If all the wine our company exported to the UK was in pouches the volume of waste saved would fill 206 double decker buses, half of the ships used in ocean delivery could be eliminated and 18 460 tonnes of carbon dioxide would be saved, equivalent to the amount of carbon dioxide released by 5 777 cars," according to Gary Parker, Sustainability Director of PIRA.

Although the pouch is not bio-degradable, it flattens once empty taking up 60% less space in landfill than two glass bottles. It is not recyclable, but as only around 20% of bottles in the world are recycled, it is important to consider its `end-of-life` landfill size. Even if all glass were recycled the amount of energy required to recycle glass would still make the pouch better for the environment. In this respect the pouch appeals to the increasingly `ethically-minded` drinker.So buy one and try it, remembering that the juice inside the pouch is the same as in the bottles. The Arniston Bay Chenin Blanc/Chardonnay is a 3-star "smiley face" wine in the Platter guide ("exceptionally drinkable and well-priced") and the off-dry Versus White

also has a smiley face in the 2008 guide! Great value too, R38.90 for the Versus White 2L pouch and R44.00 for Arniston Bay Chenin/Chard 1.5L pouch.

Part 2. How to ensure you enjoy the wine you have chosenBy Catherine Rebel, Makro wine educator Right, so you've chosen the wines and the waiter brings the bottles to show you. What do you do now?Step 1, you need to feel the bottle to check its temperature. Warm is not good. Reds should be at 18°C – the bottle will feel "cool to the touch" at that temperature. If it feels warm to the touch, ask for an ice bucket. Red wine that is served too warm will seem overly alcoholic. Now don't leave it in there too long. This is not an ideal way to cool down a red wine as it gives it a bit of a shock, but here you don't have a choice, so leave it in about five minutes, up to its neck in iced water and then retaste it.

Step 2, you need to smell and taste the wine to check for faults. If the wine comes with a screwcap, it won't have cork taint, but it could still have other faults so do still check the wine. The most common fault is cork taint. This is caused by a compound called 2,4,6-trichloroanisole (TCA) in the cork that taints the entire wine. If the wine smells and tastes mouldy, like wet cardboard, it's probably cork taint. Drinking a corked wine isn't bad for you, but it won't be as pleasant as drinking a good bottle. Very occasionally you might find other faults too. Examples are pétillance, when the wine has a slight spritz and it's not meant to (this is a sign of a second fermentation in the bottle);Brettanomyces, a yeast that causes the wine to smell like elastoplast; volatile acidity which is hard to pick up and not very common, but if you ever come across a wine that smells more like the bottle of balsamic vinegar on the table, I would send it back; and, less easy to pick up, heat damage of a wine and it will seem porty and "cooked". If you open a second bottle, check that too ... with the possibility of one in every dozen or so bottles having cork taint, you can't risk not checking EVERY bottle. Sediment in the bottom of an older bottle of red wine is NOT a fault, it just means that the wine was not over-filtered and the tannins have precipitated out so the wine should be lovely and smooth.

With these two checks out the way, hopefully the restaurant has wonderful large, thin-rimmed glassware for the waiter to pour your bottle of wine into. With white wines, the waiter should fill your glass about two-thirds full, and with red wine, no more than half full. Remember to hold the wine glass by the stem, otherwise your fingers tend to warm up the wine unnecessarily. Incidentally, it is not necessary to have new glassware for each new bottle of wine. So long as the waiter brings you a separate glass for checking the new bottle, you can quite happily use the same glasses to enjoy the next bottle. Finally, remember to order some still or sparkling water for the table. To prevent the dehydration that comes with alcohol consumption, it is advisable to drink a glass of water for every glass of wine you consume!

THIS SHARPENS THOSE GENES IN YOUR BRAIN ...Received via E-mailSharpen those genes

1. A murderer is condemned to death. He has to choose between three rooms. The first is full of raging fires, the second is full of assassins with loaded guns, and the third is full of lions that haven't eaten in 3 years. Which room is safest for him?2. A woman shoots her husband. Then she holds him under water for over 5 minutes. Finally, she hangs him. But 5 minutes later they both go out together and enjoy a wonderful dinner together. How can this be? 3. What is black when you buy it, red when you use it, and gray when you throw it away?4. Can you name three consecutive days without using the words Wednesday, Friday, or Sunday?5. This is an unusual paragraph. I'm curious as to just how quickly you can find out what is so unusual about it. It looks so ordinary and plain that you would think nothing was wrong with it. In fact, nothing is wrong with it! It is highly unusual though. Study it and think about it, but you still may not find anything odd. But if you work at it a bit, you might find out. Try to do so without any coaching!1. The third room. Lions that haven't eaten in three years are dead. That one was easy, right?2. The woman was a photographer. She shot a picture of her husband, developed it, and hung it up to dry (shot; held under water; and hung).3. Charcoal, as it is used in barbecuing.4. Sure you can name three consecutive days, yesterday, today, and tomorrow!5. The letter E, which is the most common letter used in the English language, does not appear even once in the paragraph.

Who said poetry is boring?Received via E-mail THESE ARE ENTRIES TO A WASHINGTON POST COMPETITION ASKING FOR A TWO-LINE RHYME WITH THE MOST ROMANTIC FIRST LINE, BUT THE LEAST ROMANTCI SECOND LINE:

1. My darling, my lover, my beautiful wife:Marrying you has screwed up my life.2. I see your face when I am dreaming.That's why I always wake up screaming.3. Kind, intelligent, loving and hot;This describes everything you are not.4. Love may be beautiful, love may be bliss, But I only slept with you 'cause I was ....`5. I thought that I could love no other ,- that is until I met your brother.6. Roses are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet, and so are you.But the roses are wilting, the violets are dead, the sugar bowl's empty and so is your head.7. I want to feel your sweet embrace;But don't take that paper bag off your face.8. I love your smile, your face, and your eyesDamn, I'm good at telling lies!9. My love, you take my breath away.What have you stepped in to smell this way?

10. My feelings for you no words can tell,Except for maybe "Go to hell."11. What inspired this amorous rhyme?Two parts vodka, one part lime.Who said poetry is boring?

Primary School Children Writing About The Sea ....Received via E-mail)1) This is a picture of an octopus. It has eight testicles. (Kelly age 6)2) Oysters' balls are called pearls. (James age 6)3) If you are surrounded by sea you are an Island. If you don't have sea all round you, you are incontinent. (Wayne age 7)4) Sharks are ugly and mean, and have big teeth, just like Emily Richardson. She's not my friend no more. (Kylie age 6)5) A dolphin breaths through an arsehole on top of its head. (Billy age 8)6) My dad goes out in his boat, and comes back with crabs. (Emily Burniston age 5)7) When ships had sails, they used to use the trade winds to cross the ocean. Sometimes, when the wind didn't blow, the sailors would whistle to make the wind come. My brother said they would be better off eating beans. (William age 7)8) I like mermaids. They are beautiful, and I like their shiny tails. How do mermaids get pregnant? (Helen age 6)9) I'm not going to write about the sea. My baby brother is always screaming and being sick, my Dad keeps shouting at my Mum, and my big sister has just got pregnant, so I can't think what to write. (Amy age 6)10) Some fish are dangerous. Jellyfish can sting. Electric eels can give you a shock. They have to live in caves under the sea where I think they have to plug themselves into chargers. (Christopher age 7)11) When you go swimming in the sea, it is very cold, and it makes my willy small. (Kevin age 6)12) Divers have to be safe when they go under the water. Two divers can't go down alone, so they have to go down on each other. (Becky age 8)

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