capstone portfolio
TRANSCRIPT
The 10-Year Plan:
What the "College Experience" Means Today
Jessica E. Salimi
Senior Capstone
Division of Humanities and Communication Spring 2016
The 10-Year Plan:
What the "College Experience" Means Today
Success! Graduates tossing their caps. Photo Credit: Creative Commons
Jessica E. Salimi
Senior Capstone – Journalism and Media Studies
Creative Project - Dr. Lee Ritscher
Division of Humanities and Communication Spring 2016
Thank you to everyone who has joined me on this crazy journey. Whether I loved you
along the way or didn’t care for you much at all, each and every individual I have come to know
during this ride through school has impacted my life. To my family, thank you for putting up
with me through every decision whether it was good or bad. Thank you for loving me when I did
not love myself and for allowing me to learn my lessons the hard way. Thank you for
encouraging me to strive for more and not settle for less than what I deserved. To my friends,
thank you for reserving your judgments even when it was hard to do so. Thank you for loving me
for exactly who I am and not who I pretended to be at times. Thank you to my professors, those
who were inspirational mentors and those who were not. Every minute spent inside the
classroom was worth it, even those classes I did not enjoy at all and forced myself to attend. I am
who I am today because of my experiences throughout my life, and who I am today is finally
someone I can be proud of. Through every bad day, every hard moment, and every tear I have
shed, I have grown and become somebody who can make my family proud. To my father, thank
you for being who you were. I wish more than anything you could be there to see me finally grab
that diploma, however I find some peace in knowing how pleased you would be. Thank you to
my boyfriend for loving me through so many hardships. Your support and love have driven me
to succeed and allowed me to trust again, something I did not foresee happening in the near
future. To everyone who loves me, thank you so much for joining me on this journey. I feel truly
fortunate to have so many amazing people in my life.
Table of Contents:
Capstone Proposal 1
Essay 1 3
Essay 2 7
Reflection essay 13
Synthesis essay 15
Appendix 18
1
1. Provide your name and identify your area of concentration:
Jessica Salimi, journalism and media studies concentration
2. Project Description: My project will be a creative piece like a non-fiction creative
essay, it will be about how the college experience has changed drastically over the years.
3. Alignment with Common Theme: The project will discuss the idea of inter-
subjectivity and how many people wear a mask to hide their personal battles.
4. Purpose: I am aiming to enlighten my audience as to the many hidden battles people
are facing. It is amazing to me how you never truly know what a person is going through as
many individuals know how to hide behind a happy face. I feel it is very relevant to college
students because the dynamic has changed so much over the years and the struggle to finish
college is something so many are facing.
5. Format Rationale: I will be conducting interviews in order to get powerful quotes
from individuals about their personal struggles, I want to use these quotes in the paper and on
the board as well.
6. Capstone Title: The 10 Year plan
7. Working Summary: Years ago it seemed that it was such a simple thing, graduate high
school, go to college, be done after four years, land the job, get married, have kids, white picket
fence and so on. These days people are staying in college longer, drowning in debt, going back
to school at later ages, and not finding a job after graduation. This is not the case for all, but
seems to be a very prevalent occurrence in our society. I have personally been in college for 8
years now and will graduate after 8.5 years of pursuing a degree. Many of the people I know
personally have been in this same boat and have been struggling to get their degree as well.
2
I also want to touch on statistics of young college age students battling depression along
with other mental illnesses and the frightening statistics of suicide in college age students.
8. Expectations: I hope to reach out to my audience in a way that they may have not
been expecting to see at the festival. I hate to be the downer of the festival but it is something
that I feel is important to discuss.
9. Specific Skills Required: I will need to utilize various databases to find research and
statistics to be included into the paper but will also need to present my creative skills in order
to give the piece it's creative edge.
10. Next Steps: My next steps are to get back the writings from those I have reached out
to, begin the working draft, and start thinking about what I want my poster to look like.
11. Timeline: By Monday April 18th I plan to have a working draft, I have asked my
interview subjects to get their writings to me by next week so that I may begin to incorporate
everything they have to say. Originally I was only going to get insight from women but since
men are obviously part of the statistics as well I have reached out to several men I know.
3
What defines a true college experience? Is it defined by how many parties you went to?
Whether or not you were involved in Greek life? How many friends you made? Whether or not
you received good grades? Every individual who attends college will likely have their own
definition of what the experience is supposed to be. For me the college experience has been
nearly ten years of the most emotional roller coaster I could have ever imagined. So many
challenges wrapped up into a decade of change and personal growth have created the person I am
today, a person who knows she can conquer anything. For that I am grateful, but I would have
gladly gone without some of the obstacles thrown my way. What brings me some comfort is
knowing that I am not alone in the struggles I have faced and that my lengthy college career
seems to be the new norm.
When I was preparing to graduate high school in 2008 I could not have foreseen it would
be another 8 and a half years before I would obtain my bachelor's degree. Upon my completion
at California State University Monterey Bay I will have a Bachelor's degree in Human
communications with a minor in Environmental studies along with being thousands of dollars in
debt, and likely no promise of a career. These things just don’t seem to make sense. If I got the
degree, took the time, paid my dues, why does the outcome still seem negative? The answer is
complicated; college just doesn’t seem to be what it once was.
According to an article in the Wall Street Journal, college graduates for the class of 2015
are the most indebted in the history of the United States, and that's just for now; the class of 2016
will likely increase that statistic. The average student debt for the class of 2015 is $35,000, more
than double the debt of a college student who graduated in the early 90's
(http://blogs.wsj.com/economics/2015/05/08/congratulations-class-of-2015-youre-the-
most-indebted-ever-for-now/).
4
It is estimated that 71% of students who earn a bachelor's degree will come out of college
with some sort of a loan, compared to about 64% of students with loans a decade ago. The total
education-debt including both federal and private loans was nearly $68 billion in the year 2015
and was under $10 billion in 1993. The student who chooses to further their education and go on
to attend graduate school is looking at even more debt and additional years of schooling. A story
released by USA Today estimates that the average graduate student has around $57,600 in loan
debt. (http://www.usnews.com/news/articles/2014/03/25/how-much-outstanding-loan-debt-is-
from-grad-students-more-than-you-think) It is also estimated that one-quarter of graduate
students borrow nearly $100,00 in loans and 1 out of 10 students borrow $150,000. I have
personally spoken to individuals who chose to attend graduate school and now have debts
ranging in the six-figure range. A personal friend of mine earned a Bachelor's degree and could
not find a job afterwards so he chose to attend pharmacy school. In the end his debt for all of his
undergrad and pharmacy school totals around $300,00. Is there something to be said about the
sanity of graduate students? Or perhaps these people are just striving to do the most that they can
in a society that seems to demand perfection. Debt is a large burden for any student to carry;
however the emotional stress only adds further complications.
For my senior project I originally set out to write a research paper inspired by women
who have made significant contributions to various scientific fields. It aligned with our theme of
gender and feminist theories and being a woman interested in science, it seemed right up my
alley. However halfway through the semester and barely started on my paper, I received that
would change the course of what I wanted to do. It was a Tuesday morning and I will live the
rest of my days remembering how I felt when I received the news; I was and still am truly
heartbroken. I found out a dear friend of mine had taken his own life.
5
I am still shocked by the news, he was the kind of person you wanted in your life, and my
life is better because I knew him. From this tragedy I was also able to find inspiration to share
my own story and reach out to get the stories of my peers as well. I could not have anticipated
the events that would take place during some of the most important years of my life, however
these events have built a solid foundation from which I have grown in so many ways.
In 2010 I met and married a man who was in the Marines; a man I had known for a very
short period of time. We were young, dumb, and in love; we made quick and irrational decisions.
A husband in the military meant long distance and experiencing the harsh realities of war
through two deployments. War changes a man no matter who he is; I have seen this first hand.
In 2012 my dad became ill, he was no longer himself, he was skinnier than usual, had no
appetite, was tired all the time, and coughed so hard he even broke a rib. He was a smoker most
of his life, something I had fought to break him of from the time I was a very young child. In the
back of my mind I think I always knew what news we would receive when he did finally see a
doctor, yet it was nothing I could prepare for. Doctors discovered a spot on his lung and within a
few weeks I was watching him die before my very eyes. Watching my father take his last breath
was the most traumatic event of my life, and yet I still managed to finish the couple courses I
was enrolled in at my community college through it all. He had always wanted to see me succeed
in school, I can remember calling him to tell him my counselor at my community college told me
how close I was to having all the classes I needed to transfer to a university. I will never forget
his response; "Monterey here you come!" After his passing I was so overwhelmed with sadness
and trauma, I had nightmares constantly. Each time I closed my eyes I watched him die all over
again; I finally got the will to talk to somebody about my feelings which really helped, and I was
diagnosed with depression for the third time since 2008.
6
Once I began to come around emotionally, I made it my goal to get into the school of my
dreams and live in a place I always dreamed of living in. Knowing exactly how excited my dad
would have been when I opened up my acceptance letter was a moment of true euphoria. The
first thing I wanted to do was call my dad, but he was gone and I could only hold onto knowing
that he would have been overwhelmed with pride.
In 2015 my husband and I filed for divorce; we were not in love anymore and it was time
to go our separate ways. 2015 also brought with it very frightening health news for my step dad;
the only father I had left. He was diagnosed with a rare form of leukemia and was also found to
have an aneurysm on his heart. He went through chemo, had open heart surgery, and overcame it
all. One year later he is back to himself and our family could not feel luckier. I don’t know what
I would do without him and the constant guidance he has offered me for the last 19 years. My
mother has been my rock for 26 years, without her I would have given up on my degree and
would have never made it to Monterey.
So many things in life are not planned, things happen that no one could ever expect and at
times people may feel that they are out of options. Suicide is the second leading cause of death
for college students behind car accidents and the rate has more than doubled since the 1950's.
(https://www.washingtonpost.com/posteverything/wp/2014/09/18/college-drove-me-to-the-
brink-of-suicide/)
While conducting research for this project I found myself asking, "why?" Could it be
from the increasing college debt, the stress of not being accepted among your peers, a chemical
imbalance, or is there something more going on? The college experience seems to have taken on
a new meaning entirely.
7
When I asked several individuals if they would share with me their own personal
struggles throughout college, I could never have imagined the powerful responses I would
receive. I know each of these people on some personal level, but for some I never knew the
depths of their own personal horrors. I never knew because these are the same people who
always have a smile on their face and seem to have it all together. In my opinion our society,
even in the year 2016, still has fears about the discussion of mental health. Luckily there are
groups who advocate for the discussion of mental health and change lives in doing so. For some,
it is still the elephant in the room; a big reason many suffer in silence.
"Universities advertise the idea that you can have social relationships as well as
academic relationships, but the reality is with the financial burden and amount of work expected
from each student, having a carefree and fun college experience is archaic and fictional."
(Student A)
"I was slipping into a depression and began feeling completely isolated. This is crazy
because at a school as big as Arizona State you are never really alone. My studies were the only
crutch I had to cope with my depression." (Student B)
"My father was awful to deal with while I was attending college. He didn’t like the fact
that I was a woman getting educated. Despite all his put downs, calling me stupid, fat, ugly,
telling me I would never accomplish anything; hearing them just made me work ten times harder
to prove him wrong." (Student C)
"It took all of my energy and effort to balance working full time which sometimes meant
80 hours a week with being a full time student. It was incredibly stressful on my body but I
couldn’t not work; without it I wouldn’t be able to afford school." (Student D).
8
"I had to balance the demands of a rigorous academic program with motherhood, a
physically and emotionally exhausting full time job, and the needs of my husband. All while still
maintaining some semblance of a social life (in order to maintain my mental health)."
(Student E)
"Since I've gotten to CSUMB I have been incredibly sad. I cried my first two months
here. I didn’t know anyone, I was living with strangers for the first time in my life, and I didn’t
have my comfort zone anymore. I would find myself going home every weekend and finding
reasons to miss class so I could stay home longer." (Student F)
"I was in an abusive relationship from the age of 15-23. Getting out of my community
college was a long journey because I was dealing with a lot of personal issues that affected my
academic performance. Also, being the first one out of my family to go to college was hard
because I didn't have someone to guide me or be my mentor. I needed to figure out everything on
my own, which was really scary for me." (Student G)
The Depression and Bipolar Support Alliance estimates that roughly 14.8 million
American adults are affected by a major depressive disorder. (dbsalliance.org) Depression is
recognized as one of the most common of all mental disorders in this country, and affects over
6% of the American population. (www.nimh.nih.gov)These statistics represent those who have
actually been diagnosed, one can only imagine how many undiagnosed individuals are living
with this illness each and every day. In 2013 a survey was conducted by the American
Psychological Association which aimed at identifying the top mental health concerns felt by
college students. The results of the study found that 41.6% struggled with anxiety, 36.4%
struggled with depression, and 35.8% struggled with relationship problems.
(http://www.apa.org).
9
Depression is often noted as the "silent killer" as so many who go untreated with
depression choose to end their own lives and often do not disclose their plans.
A traveling exhibition group who strongly advocates open discussion of mental health
and suicide prevention called Active Minds states that roughly 1,100 undergrad students take
their own lives each year. The group travels to different campuses across the United States to
spread their message in hopes of reaching out to anyone considering committing suicide in hopes
of changing their mind. They display a compelling message of 1,100 backpacks in a quad or
main area of campus to represent each student who committed suicide that year. Although the
discussion of depression and other mental health disorders is not considered as taboo in our
modern society, many who struggle still choose to hide behind a happy smile even when they are
dying inside. The iconic Robin Williams once said, "I think the saddest people always try their
hardest to make people happy. Because they know what it's like to feel absolutely worthless and
they don’t want anybody else to feel like that."
The second group of people I chose to reach out to for my project were several combat
veterans of the Marine Corps. I asked them about the struggles they have faced when leaving the
military and deciding whether or not college would be a good option in their lives. I chose to ask
veterans specifically because I know so many on a personal level and I have watched many of
them struggle with the transition from military life to civilian life. I have watched them struggle
with the decision of whether or not to attend college, the difficulties of trying to adjust to what is
considered a "normal" life. Some chose to dive straight into a career that did not require a degree,
while others are still going through the motions trying to receive their diplomas. I have found a
common theme with those who chose to enter into college; they tend to feel very out of place.
10
While the military does a solid job of teaching an individual the idea of discipline and
responsibility, it does not prepare veterans for what happens once they are out of the battle zone
and in a classroom. It does not prepare them to sometimes be the oldest people in their classes,
and often times the only people who have witnessed so much death and tragedy. The military
does not prepare these men and women to suddenly be civilians, and many suffer during the
transition.
"My main thing was missing my boys when I first got out, they weren't just my friends,
they were my family. We had Thanksgiving together, Christmas together, I went trick or treating
with their kids. To deal with being away I drank a lot, to the point of blacking out like 3 or 4
days per week. One of my biggest struggles was before I even started class. I had anxiety about
meeting with my counselor to the point where I couldn’t talk at times. Any kind of speech or
presentation I would fear non-stop for weeks, I would lose sleep because I would be so nervous."
(Veteran A)
"I felt surrounded by people who didn't want to work for anything, people who seemed
to always be looking for the easy way out." (Veteran A)
"It was so hard for me to hear some 22 year old man complain about his mom forgetting
to pay his car insurance, while I had spent a year in the desert watching so many of my friends
die. To me, that was something to really be upset about." (Veteran B)
Although the veterans I spoke with did have a hard time adjusting to life within
classroom walls, they were all grateful for the Post 9/11 G.I. Bill and the idea that school is
essentially paid for in return for their service to this great nation.
11
"One of the best benefits of serving our country is the GI Bill. You can basically get paid
to go to school and earn a degree. One would be foolish not to take advantage of that
opportunity, after all we earned it. With that being said, I think most veterans struggle to live off
of this alone." (Veteran C)
The National Conference of State Legislatures states that between 2000 and 2012 more
than 900,000 military members took advantage of education benefits. The post 9/11 G.I Bill was
put into place in 2008 and since the passing of the bill, military service members enrolling in
college increased by 42%. It is estimated that around 62% of veterans who enroll in college
courses are first generation college students in their families.
Although the G.I Bill is a great education option for veterans, there are also those who
choose to go straight into a career and succeed without earning a degree.
"I joined the Marines October 6, 2006; it was a choice I’ve never regretted; however in
June 2015 I decided to pursue a new endeavor: the California Highway Patrol. Once again, I
chose a career field that didn’t require a college education. I have people in my life with college
degrees and the running theme with 90% of them is the debt they’ve created over the course of
their education. I on the other hand, have a career with great benefits, a great salary, and zero
debt associated with it." (Veteran B)
"It was more important for me to not have to worry about bills and having food on the
table than to have a piece of paper to hang on my wall at this point in my life. I was lucky to
stumble into a career field that allows me to make a decent living." (Veteran C)
I am so fortunate to know these veterans. Their bravery, charisma, and selfless attitudes
have truly inspired me to be so much more than the average person letting life pass me by.
12
They have inspired me to overcome obstacles and always put on a brave face even in
times of weakness. I am forever grateful to them and everyone else I have come to know
throughout my journey.
If there is one lesson I have learned over the last decade it is that you never know what
someone else is going through in their personal life, and you never know when you will lose
someone you love. When I think about how precious life is, I often reflect back on my friendship
with Jeremy. In the weeks prior to his suicide we talked like we always did, everything seemed
normal. I wonder if I could have done something different, if I could have said something
different, then maybe he would still be here today. When I am able to pull myself out of these
thoughts I remember that this had nothing to do with me or anyone else who loved him. His
demons were too much for him to bear and I can only hope he has found some peace. I will
never forget his smile, his laughter, and the amazing person he was.
13
Capstone Reflective Essay
When conducting this project I got very personal with both myself and the people who I
asked to participate in the project as well. I used quotes that I felt were the most powerful from
each person I spoke with to set a tone within the second creative essay. I also used some of these
quotes on my board because I feel they really grab the attention of the audience and invite them
in to want to learn more about my project. Although my project touches on some very heavy
subjects and has a melancholy feeling to it, I hope to touch my audience in a way that changes
the way they view college students and veterans. With my creative essays I hoped to send my
audience a message of hope as well as a message of compassion for those around us.
The strongest message I hoped to give my audience through my writing is that of having
understanding for other human beings and realizing it is so often that we have no idea what other
people are struggling with. The idea of hiding behind a mask and acting as if everything is in
place is something I have personally struggled with for many years and through my interviews I
discovered I am one of many people experiencing the same struggle. While conducting my
research and getting feedback from my peers I discovered so much about people with whom I
already had relationships with. I never knew some of the pain and suffering my friends had not
only endured but were living with each day behind a happy face.
I originally set out to write a research paper about women in the scientific field. I am
minoring in environmental studies and have always had a strong interest in both writing and
science so this seemed like the perfect essay to conduct. It would also align with the theme of
feminism because many women in the field face so much sexism, unfair wages, and trying to
find some traction in a field strongly dominated by men.
14
As I experienced yet another major emotional setback during the semester, I decided
what I would really like to do is share my story with others in hopes of sending a message of
inspiration.
The process of getting everything down on paper was hard to do, I had to reflect back on
some troubling times, but my story is not just one of sadness but also one of success. I had to
make sure that I aligned this new project with the theme of the class and I did so by focusing on
the idea of inter-subjectivity and how often people hide their pain behind a mask. It also focused
on gender as I chose to only reach out to female college students and male veterans. I wanted to
get a grasp of a few different experiences through the eyes of very particular individuals.
It saddened me to know the struggles of so many people who hold such an important
place in my life and in my heart, however in some ways I hope expressing themselves the way
they did brought them some kind of closure or peace as it did so for me. These past 8 years have
brought with them so many different emotions, emotions I hoped to reflect on throughout my
writings. I am inspired by those who have chosen to reveal their deepest and darkest secrets
before me, individuals who have written personal memoirs and reflections of the difficulties they
have faced throughout their lives. There are so many people with whom we share this planet that
have faced horrific events and overcome them to find true success and happiness.
15
Synthesis Essay
I chose to change my Capstone project more than halfway through the semester, and I am
so glad I did. I gained valuable insight not just from those I spoke with, but also with myself. I
have done some major soul searching this past year and in doing so, I finally feel like I know
exactly who I am. Our theme of race, gender, and social justice opened up a large window of
opportunity into a variety of subjects and concentrations.
I am a journalism and media studies concentration so naturally I aimed at speaking with
others in order to hear their struggles and gain knowledge based off of personal experiences. I
challenged those who chose to participate to get personal with me and gave them the safe space
to do so.
Reaching out and sharing personal hardships with others demonstrated my ability to
work with others in a constructive way. During my interview process there were no judgements,
there were only connections and understandings through shared emotional experiences. I feel my
project directly contributes to an issue that is very prominent in this country; the discussion of
mental health. I also hoped to give my audience some perspectives on what issues are affecting
today's college student, and how serious some of these issues are. Each day a college student
walks from class to class passing hundreds of people without knowing their personal stories.
Through my research and discussions, I have grasped the importance of understanding
that everyone has a story and a personal struggle is not always obvious from the outside. Each
individual I spoke to had been hiding behind a mask at one point or another in their life. I am still
left with the question of why so many of us conceal our emotions in order to make everything
seem okay.
16
My hypothesis for why this phenomena is so prominent in our culture if based off of
pressure of perfection in society. My hypothesis is based off of personal observation throughout
my years as a student and in the workforce.
There is a significant amount of pressure placed on today's young person, and every year
these pressures seem to begin at earlier ages. It is difficult to find a job which does not require a
degree, yet the price of earning a degree can be financially crippling. College takes longer to
complete on average and the demands on students is more than just academic, it is social,
physical, financial, and mental. The consequences of so many demands are clear to see through
statistical data reflecting inflation of student debts and increases in mental illness diagnosis.
I felt comfortable taking on a creative project because I have so much experience with
writing creative non-fiction pieces. I felt this was a great way to give facts while also presenting
very personal stories that my audience could relate to. The subjects my project touches on are not
of a light content, these are very real issues that many people choose not to focus on. However, I
have learned the value of sharing a personal story with others and how inspiration can be found
in the most unique of places.
My project meets the published criteria and standards in that it is one of the creative
options provided while also taking on a unique stance that many people can relate to. I feel that I
met the expectations I created for myself while also learning more than I could have originally
hoped for. I feel the biggest category on the rubric I was able to work well with was the section
about collaborating with others and working well with my peers. I am the type of person who can
get along with a range of different personalities and I feel this was a great advantage while
putting my work together. The individuals I spoke with are from all different walks of life and
many of them having little to nothing in common at all, yet I am able to call them all my friends.
17
Another category within the rubric that I connected with was the section that discussed
the way the project clearly demonstrates the student's unique voice. My project is about as
personal as it gets and strongly reflects my voice throughout the writing. It also gives my
audience the chance to hear a variety of different voices through the individuals I spoke with for
my project.
This section of Capstone helped me connect with the human experience and in turn create
something that could be related to by many people who read it. Whether the audience members
experienced college or not, there is something in the writing for each individual to connect with
in some way, shape, or form. The decision to change my project from a very basic research essay
to something much more personal turned into a very wise decision and pieces of work I can be
proud to share. Although the experience which lead me to change my project was tragic, it
became another aspect of my life from which I gained strength and could connect with those
around me on a very personal level.
The experience of completing a senior project has been a grueling task, but it has also
brought with it the ability to connect with others and share information that is usually hidden
behind my mask. Now the mask is off, the realities of my personal obstacles are in the open, and
I am truly ecstatic to finally be completing this journey.
18
Appendix of Sources:
1. Student A is a 22 year old female college senior
2. Student B is a 25 year old female college graduate
3. Student C is a 28 year old female college senior
4. Student D is a 22 year old female college student
5. Student E is a 39 year old female continuing college student
6. Student F is a 23 year old female college senior
7. Student G is a 25 year old female college senior
8. Veteran A is a 26 year old former Marine, former college student
9. Veteran B is a 29 year old former Marine
10. Veteran C is a 32 year old former Marine
19
Online Sources:
1. Scelfo, Julie. "Suicide on Campus and the Pressure of Perfection." nytimes.com. New
York Times, 27 July 2015.
2. Hawksworth, Elizabeth. "College Drove Me to the Brink of Suicide."
washingtonpost.com. Washington Post, 18 Sept. 2014.
3. Novotney, Amy. "Students Under Pressure." Apa.org. American Psychological
Association. Sept. 2014
4. Sparshott, Jeffrey. "Congratulations, Class of 2015. You're the Most Indebted Ever (For
Now)" blogs.wsj.com. Wall Street Journal, 8 May 2015.
5. www.activeminds.org Active Minds
6. www.nimh.nih.gov National Institute of Mental Health
7. www.dbsalliance.org Depression & Bipolar Alliance
8. www.ncsl.org National Conference of State Legislature
9. Bidwell, Allie. "How Much Loan Debt is From Grad Students? More Thank You Think."
usnews.com 25 March 2014