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The 10-Year Plan: What the "College Experience" Means Today Jessica E. Salimi Senior Capstone Division of Humanities and Communication Spring 2016

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The 10-Year Plan:

What the "College Experience" Means Today

Jessica E. Salimi

Senior Capstone

Division of Humanities and Communication Spring 2016

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The 10-Year Plan:

What the "College Experience" Means Today

Success! Graduates tossing their caps. Photo Credit: Creative Commons

Jessica E. Salimi

Senior Capstone – Journalism and Media Studies

Creative Project - Dr. Lee Ritscher

Division of Humanities and Communication Spring 2016

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Thank you to everyone who has joined me on this crazy journey. Whether I loved you

along the way or didn’t care for you much at all, each and every individual I have come to know

during this ride through school has impacted my life. To my family, thank you for putting up

with me through every decision whether it was good or bad. Thank you for loving me when I did

not love myself and for allowing me to learn my lessons the hard way. Thank you for

encouraging me to strive for more and not settle for less than what I deserved. To my friends,

thank you for reserving your judgments even when it was hard to do so. Thank you for loving me

for exactly who I am and not who I pretended to be at times. Thank you to my professors, those

who were inspirational mentors and those who were not. Every minute spent inside the

classroom was worth it, even those classes I did not enjoy at all and forced myself to attend. I am

who I am today because of my experiences throughout my life, and who I am today is finally

someone I can be proud of. Through every bad day, every hard moment, and every tear I have

shed, I have grown and become somebody who can make my family proud. To my father, thank

you for being who you were. I wish more than anything you could be there to see me finally grab

that diploma, however I find some peace in knowing how pleased you would be. Thank you to

my boyfriend for loving me through so many hardships. Your support and love have driven me

to succeed and allowed me to trust again, something I did not foresee happening in the near

future. To everyone who loves me, thank you so much for joining me on this journey. I feel truly

fortunate to have so many amazing people in my life.

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Table of Contents:

Capstone Proposal 1

Essay 1 3

Essay 2 7

Reflection essay 13

Synthesis essay 15

Appendix 18

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1

1. Provide your name and identify your area of concentration:

Jessica Salimi, journalism and media studies concentration

2. Project Description: My project will be a creative piece like a non-fiction creative

essay, it will be about how the college experience has changed drastically over the years.

3. Alignment with Common Theme: The project will discuss the idea of inter-

subjectivity and how many people wear a mask to hide their personal battles.

4. Purpose: I am aiming to enlighten my audience as to the many hidden battles people

are facing. It is amazing to me how you never truly know what a person is going through as

many individuals know how to hide behind a happy face. I feel it is very relevant to college

students because the dynamic has changed so much over the years and the struggle to finish

college is something so many are facing.

5. Format Rationale: I will be conducting interviews in order to get powerful quotes

from individuals about their personal struggles, I want to use these quotes in the paper and on

the board as well.

6. Capstone Title: The 10 Year plan

7. Working Summary: Years ago it seemed that it was such a simple thing, graduate high

school, go to college, be done after four years, land the job, get married, have kids, white picket

fence and so on. These days people are staying in college longer, drowning in debt, going back

to school at later ages, and not finding a job after graduation. This is not the case for all, but

seems to be a very prevalent occurrence in our society. I have personally been in college for 8

years now and will graduate after 8.5 years of pursuing a degree. Many of the people I know

personally have been in this same boat and have been struggling to get their degree as well.

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I also want to touch on statistics of young college age students battling depression along

with other mental illnesses and the frightening statistics of suicide in college age students.

8. Expectations: I hope to reach out to my audience in a way that they may have not

been expecting to see at the festival. I hate to be the downer of the festival but it is something

that I feel is important to discuss.

9. Specific Skills Required: I will need to utilize various databases to find research and

statistics to be included into the paper but will also need to present my creative skills in order

to give the piece it's creative edge.

10. Next Steps: My next steps are to get back the writings from those I have reached out

to, begin the working draft, and start thinking about what I want my poster to look like.

11. Timeline: By Monday April 18th I plan to have a working draft, I have asked my

interview subjects to get their writings to me by next week so that I may begin to incorporate

everything they have to say. Originally I was only going to get insight from women but since

men are obviously part of the statistics as well I have reached out to several men I know.

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What defines a true college experience? Is it defined by how many parties you went to?

Whether or not you were involved in Greek life? How many friends you made? Whether or not

you received good grades? Every individual who attends college will likely have their own

definition of what the experience is supposed to be. For me the college experience has been

nearly ten years of the most emotional roller coaster I could have ever imagined. So many

challenges wrapped up into a decade of change and personal growth have created the person I am

today, a person who knows she can conquer anything. For that I am grateful, but I would have

gladly gone without some of the obstacles thrown my way. What brings me some comfort is

knowing that I am not alone in the struggles I have faced and that my lengthy college career

seems to be the new norm.

When I was preparing to graduate high school in 2008 I could not have foreseen it would

be another 8 and a half years before I would obtain my bachelor's degree. Upon my completion

at California State University Monterey Bay I will have a Bachelor's degree in Human

communications with a minor in Environmental studies along with being thousands of dollars in

debt, and likely no promise of a career. These things just don’t seem to make sense. If I got the

degree, took the time, paid my dues, why does the outcome still seem negative? The answer is

complicated; college just doesn’t seem to be what it once was.

According to an article in the Wall Street Journal, college graduates for the class of 2015

are the most indebted in the history of the United States, and that's just for now; the class of 2016

will likely increase that statistic. The average student debt for the class of 2015 is $35,000, more

than double the debt of a college student who graduated in the early 90's

(http://blogs.wsj.com/economics/2015/05/08/congratulations-class-of-2015-youre-the-

most-indebted-ever-for-now/).

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It is estimated that 71% of students who earn a bachelor's degree will come out of college

with some sort of a loan, compared to about 64% of students with loans a decade ago. The total

education-debt including both federal and private loans was nearly $68 billion in the year 2015

and was under $10 billion in 1993. The student who chooses to further their education and go on

to attend graduate school is looking at even more debt and additional years of schooling. A story

released by USA Today estimates that the average graduate student has around $57,600 in loan

debt. (http://www.usnews.com/news/articles/2014/03/25/how-much-outstanding-loan-debt-is-

from-grad-students-more-than-you-think) It is also estimated that one-quarter of graduate

students borrow nearly $100,00 in loans and 1 out of 10 students borrow $150,000. I have

personally spoken to individuals who chose to attend graduate school and now have debts

ranging in the six-figure range. A personal friend of mine earned a Bachelor's degree and could

not find a job afterwards so he chose to attend pharmacy school. In the end his debt for all of his

undergrad and pharmacy school totals around $300,00. Is there something to be said about the

sanity of graduate students? Or perhaps these people are just striving to do the most that they can

in a society that seems to demand perfection. Debt is a large burden for any student to carry;

however the emotional stress only adds further complications.

For my senior project I originally set out to write a research paper inspired by women

who have made significant contributions to various scientific fields. It aligned with our theme of

gender and feminist theories and being a woman interested in science, it seemed right up my

alley. However halfway through the semester and barely started on my paper, I received that

would change the course of what I wanted to do. It was a Tuesday morning and I will live the

rest of my days remembering how I felt when I received the news; I was and still am truly

heartbroken. I found out a dear friend of mine had taken his own life.

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I am still shocked by the news, he was the kind of person you wanted in your life, and my

life is better because I knew him. From this tragedy I was also able to find inspiration to share

my own story and reach out to get the stories of my peers as well. I could not have anticipated

the events that would take place during some of the most important years of my life, however

these events have built a solid foundation from which I have grown in so many ways.

In 2010 I met and married a man who was in the Marines; a man I had known for a very

short period of time. We were young, dumb, and in love; we made quick and irrational decisions.

A husband in the military meant long distance and experiencing the harsh realities of war

through two deployments. War changes a man no matter who he is; I have seen this first hand.

In 2012 my dad became ill, he was no longer himself, he was skinnier than usual, had no

appetite, was tired all the time, and coughed so hard he even broke a rib. He was a smoker most

of his life, something I had fought to break him of from the time I was a very young child. In the

back of my mind I think I always knew what news we would receive when he did finally see a

doctor, yet it was nothing I could prepare for. Doctors discovered a spot on his lung and within a

few weeks I was watching him die before my very eyes. Watching my father take his last breath

was the most traumatic event of my life, and yet I still managed to finish the couple courses I

was enrolled in at my community college through it all. He had always wanted to see me succeed

in school, I can remember calling him to tell him my counselor at my community college told me

how close I was to having all the classes I needed to transfer to a university. I will never forget

his response; "Monterey here you come!" After his passing I was so overwhelmed with sadness

and trauma, I had nightmares constantly. Each time I closed my eyes I watched him die all over

again; I finally got the will to talk to somebody about my feelings which really helped, and I was

diagnosed with depression for the third time since 2008.

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Once I began to come around emotionally, I made it my goal to get into the school of my

dreams and live in a place I always dreamed of living in. Knowing exactly how excited my dad

would have been when I opened up my acceptance letter was a moment of true euphoria. The

first thing I wanted to do was call my dad, but he was gone and I could only hold onto knowing

that he would have been overwhelmed with pride.

In 2015 my husband and I filed for divorce; we were not in love anymore and it was time

to go our separate ways. 2015 also brought with it very frightening health news for my step dad;

the only father I had left. He was diagnosed with a rare form of leukemia and was also found to

have an aneurysm on his heart. He went through chemo, had open heart surgery, and overcame it

all. One year later he is back to himself and our family could not feel luckier. I don’t know what

I would do without him and the constant guidance he has offered me for the last 19 years. My

mother has been my rock for 26 years, without her I would have given up on my degree and

would have never made it to Monterey.

So many things in life are not planned, things happen that no one could ever expect and at

times people may feel that they are out of options. Suicide is the second leading cause of death

for college students behind car accidents and the rate has more than doubled since the 1950's.

(https://www.washingtonpost.com/posteverything/wp/2014/09/18/college-drove-me-to-the-

brink-of-suicide/)

While conducting research for this project I found myself asking, "why?" Could it be

from the increasing college debt, the stress of not being accepted among your peers, a chemical

imbalance, or is there something more going on? The college experience seems to have taken on

a new meaning entirely.

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When I asked several individuals if they would share with me their own personal

struggles throughout college, I could never have imagined the powerful responses I would

receive. I know each of these people on some personal level, but for some I never knew the

depths of their own personal horrors. I never knew because these are the same people who

always have a smile on their face and seem to have it all together. In my opinion our society,

even in the year 2016, still has fears about the discussion of mental health. Luckily there are

groups who advocate for the discussion of mental health and change lives in doing so. For some,

it is still the elephant in the room; a big reason many suffer in silence.

"Universities advertise the idea that you can have social relationships as well as

academic relationships, but the reality is with the financial burden and amount of work expected

from each student, having a carefree and fun college experience is archaic and fictional."

(Student A)

"I was slipping into a depression and began feeling completely isolated. This is crazy

because at a school as big as Arizona State you are never really alone. My studies were the only

crutch I had to cope with my depression." (Student B)

"My father was awful to deal with while I was attending college. He didn’t like the fact

that I was a woman getting educated. Despite all his put downs, calling me stupid, fat, ugly,

telling me I would never accomplish anything; hearing them just made me work ten times harder

to prove him wrong." (Student C)

"It took all of my energy and effort to balance working full time which sometimes meant

80 hours a week with being a full time student. It was incredibly stressful on my body but I

couldn’t not work; without it I wouldn’t be able to afford school." (Student D).

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"I had to balance the demands of a rigorous academic program with motherhood, a

physically and emotionally exhausting full time job, and the needs of my husband. All while still

maintaining some semblance of a social life (in order to maintain my mental health)."

(Student E)

"Since I've gotten to CSUMB I have been incredibly sad. I cried my first two months

here. I didn’t know anyone, I was living with strangers for the first time in my life, and I didn’t

have my comfort zone anymore. I would find myself going home every weekend and finding

reasons to miss class so I could stay home longer." (Student F)

"I was in an abusive relationship from the age of 15-23. Getting out of my community

college was a long journey because I was dealing with a lot of personal issues that affected my

academic performance. Also, being the first one out of my family to go to college was hard

because I didn't have someone to guide me or be my mentor. I needed to figure out everything on

my own, which was really scary for me." (Student G)

The Depression and Bipolar Support Alliance estimates that roughly 14.8 million

American adults are affected by a major depressive disorder. (dbsalliance.org) Depression is

recognized as one of the most common of all mental disorders in this country, and affects over

6% of the American population. (www.nimh.nih.gov)These statistics represent those who have

actually been diagnosed, one can only imagine how many undiagnosed individuals are living

with this illness each and every day. In 2013 a survey was conducted by the American

Psychological Association which aimed at identifying the top mental health concerns felt by

college students. The results of the study found that 41.6% struggled with anxiety, 36.4%

struggled with depression, and 35.8% struggled with relationship problems.

(http://www.apa.org).

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Depression is often noted as the "silent killer" as so many who go untreated with

depression choose to end their own lives and often do not disclose their plans.

A traveling exhibition group who strongly advocates open discussion of mental health

and suicide prevention called Active Minds states that roughly 1,100 undergrad students take

their own lives each year. The group travels to different campuses across the United States to

spread their message in hopes of reaching out to anyone considering committing suicide in hopes

of changing their mind. They display a compelling message of 1,100 backpacks in a quad or

main area of campus to represent each student who committed suicide that year. Although the

discussion of depression and other mental health disorders is not considered as taboo in our

modern society, many who struggle still choose to hide behind a happy smile even when they are

dying inside. The iconic Robin Williams once said, "I think the saddest people always try their

hardest to make people happy. Because they know what it's like to feel absolutely worthless and

they don’t want anybody else to feel like that."

The second group of people I chose to reach out to for my project were several combat

veterans of the Marine Corps. I asked them about the struggles they have faced when leaving the

military and deciding whether or not college would be a good option in their lives. I chose to ask

veterans specifically because I know so many on a personal level and I have watched many of

them struggle with the transition from military life to civilian life. I have watched them struggle

with the decision of whether or not to attend college, the difficulties of trying to adjust to what is

considered a "normal" life. Some chose to dive straight into a career that did not require a degree,

while others are still going through the motions trying to receive their diplomas. I have found a

common theme with those who chose to enter into college; they tend to feel very out of place.

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While the military does a solid job of teaching an individual the idea of discipline and

responsibility, it does not prepare veterans for what happens once they are out of the battle zone

and in a classroom. It does not prepare them to sometimes be the oldest people in their classes,

and often times the only people who have witnessed so much death and tragedy. The military

does not prepare these men and women to suddenly be civilians, and many suffer during the

transition.

"My main thing was missing my boys when I first got out, they weren't just my friends,

they were my family. We had Thanksgiving together, Christmas together, I went trick or treating

with their kids. To deal with being away I drank a lot, to the point of blacking out like 3 or 4

days per week. One of my biggest struggles was before I even started class. I had anxiety about

meeting with my counselor to the point where I couldn’t talk at times. Any kind of speech or

presentation I would fear non-stop for weeks, I would lose sleep because I would be so nervous."

(Veteran A)

"I felt surrounded by people who didn't want to work for anything, people who seemed

to always be looking for the easy way out." (Veteran A)

"It was so hard for me to hear some 22 year old man complain about his mom forgetting

to pay his car insurance, while I had spent a year in the desert watching so many of my friends

die. To me, that was something to really be upset about." (Veteran B)

Although the veterans I spoke with did have a hard time adjusting to life within

classroom walls, they were all grateful for the Post 9/11 G.I. Bill and the idea that school is

essentially paid for in return for their service to this great nation.

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"One of the best benefits of serving our country is the GI Bill. You can basically get paid

to go to school and earn a degree. One would be foolish not to take advantage of that

opportunity, after all we earned it. With that being said, I think most veterans struggle to live off

of this alone." (Veteran C)

The National Conference of State Legislatures states that between 2000 and 2012 more

than 900,000 military members took advantage of education benefits. The post 9/11 G.I Bill was

put into place in 2008 and since the passing of the bill, military service members enrolling in

college increased by 42%. It is estimated that around 62% of veterans who enroll in college

courses are first generation college students in their families.

Although the G.I Bill is a great education option for veterans, there are also those who

choose to go straight into a career and succeed without earning a degree.

"I joined the Marines October 6, 2006; it was a choice I’ve never regretted; however in

June 2015 I decided to pursue a new endeavor: the California Highway Patrol. Once again, I

chose a career field that didn’t require a college education. I have people in my life with college

degrees and the running theme with 90% of them is the debt they’ve created over the course of

their education. I on the other hand, have a career with great benefits, a great salary, and zero

debt associated with it." (Veteran B)

"It was more important for me to not have to worry about bills and having food on the

table than to have a piece of paper to hang on my wall at this point in my life. I was lucky to

stumble into a career field that allows me to make a decent living." (Veteran C)

I am so fortunate to know these veterans. Their bravery, charisma, and selfless attitudes

have truly inspired me to be so much more than the average person letting life pass me by.

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They have inspired me to overcome obstacles and always put on a brave face even in

times of weakness. I am forever grateful to them and everyone else I have come to know

throughout my journey.

If there is one lesson I have learned over the last decade it is that you never know what

someone else is going through in their personal life, and you never know when you will lose

someone you love. When I think about how precious life is, I often reflect back on my friendship

with Jeremy. In the weeks prior to his suicide we talked like we always did, everything seemed

normal. I wonder if I could have done something different, if I could have said something

different, then maybe he would still be here today. When I am able to pull myself out of these

thoughts I remember that this had nothing to do with me or anyone else who loved him. His

demons were too much for him to bear and I can only hope he has found some peace. I will

never forget his smile, his laughter, and the amazing person he was.

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Capstone Reflective Essay

When conducting this project I got very personal with both myself and the people who I

asked to participate in the project as well. I used quotes that I felt were the most powerful from

each person I spoke with to set a tone within the second creative essay. I also used some of these

quotes on my board because I feel they really grab the attention of the audience and invite them

in to want to learn more about my project. Although my project touches on some very heavy

subjects and has a melancholy feeling to it, I hope to touch my audience in a way that changes

the way they view college students and veterans. With my creative essays I hoped to send my

audience a message of hope as well as a message of compassion for those around us.

The strongest message I hoped to give my audience through my writing is that of having

understanding for other human beings and realizing it is so often that we have no idea what other

people are struggling with. The idea of hiding behind a mask and acting as if everything is in

place is something I have personally struggled with for many years and through my interviews I

discovered I am one of many people experiencing the same struggle. While conducting my

research and getting feedback from my peers I discovered so much about people with whom I

already had relationships with. I never knew some of the pain and suffering my friends had not

only endured but were living with each day behind a happy face.

I originally set out to write a research paper about women in the scientific field. I am

minoring in environmental studies and have always had a strong interest in both writing and

science so this seemed like the perfect essay to conduct. It would also align with the theme of

feminism because many women in the field face so much sexism, unfair wages, and trying to

find some traction in a field strongly dominated by men.

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As I experienced yet another major emotional setback during the semester, I decided

what I would really like to do is share my story with others in hopes of sending a message of

inspiration.

The process of getting everything down on paper was hard to do, I had to reflect back on

some troubling times, but my story is not just one of sadness but also one of success. I had to

make sure that I aligned this new project with the theme of the class and I did so by focusing on

the idea of inter-subjectivity and how often people hide their pain behind a mask. It also focused

on gender as I chose to only reach out to female college students and male veterans. I wanted to

get a grasp of a few different experiences through the eyes of very particular individuals.

It saddened me to know the struggles of so many people who hold such an important

place in my life and in my heart, however in some ways I hope expressing themselves the way

they did brought them some kind of closure or peace as it did so for me. These past 8 years have

brought with them so many different emotions, emotions I hoped to reflect on throughout my

writings. I am inspired by those who have chosen to reveal their deepest and darkest secrets

before me, individuals who have written personal memoirs and reflections of the difficulties they

have faced throughout their lives. There are so many people with whom we share this planet that

have faced horrific events and overcome them to find true success and happiness.

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Synthesis Essay

I chose to change my Capstone project more than halfway through the semester, and I am

so glad I did. I gained valuable insight not just from those I spoke with, but also with myself. I

have done some major soul searching this past year and in doing so, I finally feel like I know

exactly who I am. Our theme of race, gender, and social justice opened up a large window of

opportunity into a variety of subjects and concentrations.

I am a journalism and media studies concentration so naturally I aimed at speaking with

others in order to hear their struggles and gain knowledge based off of personal experiences. I

challenged those who chose to participate to get personal with me and gave them the safe space

to do so.

Reaching out and sharing personal hardships with others demonstrated my ability to

work with others in a constructive way. During my interview process there were no judgements,

there were only connections and understandings through shared emotional experiences. I feel my

project directly contributes to an issue that is very prominent in this country; the discussion of

mental health. I also hoped to give my audience some perspectives on what issues are affecting

today's college student, and how serious some of these issues are. Each day a college student

walks from class to class passing hundreds of people without knowing their personal stories.

Through my research and discussions, I have grasped the importance of understanding

that everyone has a story and a personal struggle is not always obvious from the outside. Each

individual I spoke to had been hiding behind a mask at one point or another in their life. I am still

left with the question of why so many of us conceal our emotions in order to make everything

seem okay.

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My hypothesis for why this phenomena is so prominent in our culture if based off of

pressure of perfection in society. My hypothesis is based off of personal observation throughout

my years as a student and in the workforce.

There is a significant amount of pressure placed on today's young person, and every year

these pressures seem to begin at earlier ages. It is difficult to find a job which does not require a

degree, yet the price of earning a degree can be financially crippling. College takes longer to

complete on average and the demands on students is more than just academic, it is social,

physical, financial, and mental. The consequences of so many demands are clear to see through

statistical data reflecting inflation of student debts and increases in mental illness diagnosis.

I felt comfortable taking on a creative project because I have so much experience with

writing creative non-fiction pieces. I felt this was a great way to give facts while also presenting

very personal stories that my audience could relate to. The subjects my project touches on are not

of a light content, these are very real issues that many people choose not to focus on. However, I

have learned the value of sharing a personal story with others and how inspiration can be found

in the most unique of places.

My project meets the published criteria and standards in that it is one of the creative

options provided while also taking on a unique stance that many people can relate to. I feel that I

met the expectations I created for myself while also learning more than I could have originally

hoped for. I feel the biggest category on the rubric I was able to work well with was the section

about collaborating with others and working well with my peers. I am the type of person who can

get along with a range of different personalities and I feel this was a great advantage while

putting my work together. The individuals I spoke with are from all different walks of life and

many of them having little to nothing in common at all, yet I am able to call them all my friends.

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Another category within the rubric that I connected with was the section that discussed

the way the project clearly demonstrates the student's unique voice. My project is about as

personal as it gets and strongly reflects my voice throughout the writing. It also gives my

audience the chance to hear a variety of different voices through the individuals I spoke with for

my project.

This section of Capstone helped me connect with the human experience and in turn create

something that could be related to by many people who read it. Whether the audience members

experienced college or not, there is something in the writing for each individual to connect with

in some way, shape, or form. The decision to change my project from a very basic research essay

to something much more personal turned into a very wise decision and pieces of work I can be

proud to share. Although the experience which lead me to change my project was tragic, it

became another aspect of my life from which I gained strength and could connect with those

around me on a very personal level.

The experience of completing a senior project has been a grueling task, but it has also

brought with it the ability to connect with others and share information that is usually hidden

behind my mask. Now the mask is off, the realities of my personal obstacles are in the open, and

I am truly ecstatic to finally be completing this journey.

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Appendix of Sources:

1. Student A is a 22 year old female college senior

2. Student B is a 25 year old female college graduate

3. Student C is a 28 year old female college senior

4. Student D is a 22 year old female college student

5. Student E is a 39 year old female continuing college student

6. Student F is a 23 year old female college senior

7. Student G is a 25 year old female college senior

8. Veteran A is a 26 year old former Marine, former college student

9. Veteran B is a 29 year old former Marine

10. Veteran C is a 32 year old former Marine

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Online Sources:

1. Scelfo, Julie. "Suicide on Campus and the Pressure of Perfection." nytimes.com. New

York Times, 27 July 2015.

2. Hawksworth, Elizabeth. "College Drove Me to the Brink of Suicide."

washingtonpost.com. Washington Post, 18 Sept. 2014.

3. Novotney, Amy. "Students Under Pressure." Apa.org. American Psychological

Association. Sept. 2014

4. Sparshott, Jeffrey. "Congratulations, Class of 2015. You're the Most Indebted Ever (For

Now)" blogs.wsj.com. Wall Street Journal, 8 May 2015.

5. www.activeminds.org Active Minds

6. www.nimh.nih.gov National Institute of Mental Health

7. www.dbsalliance.org Depression & Bipolar Alliance

8. www.ncsl.org National Conference of State Legislature

9. Bidwell, Allie. "How Much Loan Debt is From Grad Students? More Thank You Think."

usnews.com 25 March 2014