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The #1 Chicago Jewish Monthly magazineTRANSCRIPT
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July 2011 • Vol. 2 No. 11
2 July 2011 to advertise 773.336.8225
[email protected] cJa 3
4 July 2011 to advertise 773.336.8225
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6 July 2011 to advertise 773.336.8225
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Not long ago I was speaking at a
synagogue in another city, and had the
occasion to notice an interaction
between a father and son that disturbed me. It
appeared to me that the boy, maybe six years old,
sitting next to his father, was attempting to get his
father to smile at him. Unsuccessfully. Mostly, the
father wouldn’t look at him, and when he did, he
was stone-faced, not so much angry, as cold. I
know that I don’t know the context of this inter-
action, and it is very possible that the child’s
behavior warranted a disapproving response. My
point here is not about judging a particular
incident, as much as it is to draw attention to the
power of a parent’s smile, and the power of
withholding that smile. Because I continued
looking back throughout that prayer service to see
if something had changed. I realized that I was
hoping to see the boy receive the smile he so
desired. Instead, I saw a slow but steady change
in the child.
At first he was animated, looking up to his
father’s face, talking excitedly with a warm smile
of his own. When this was not reciprocated, he
looked somewhat confused, and unsure of
himself. Later he showed signs of anxiety, fidget-
ing in his seat, and eventually looking listless, and
very sad. And he had stopped trying. It was very
painful to watch, and it struck me that while it was
quite possible that he had done something to earn
his father’s ire, nevertheless, it was still not ok. I
felt that I had witnessed close to two hours of
cruelty, and with that thought came an insight. A
parent’s smile is not an extra, it’s not a toy, a video
game, or a treat. And giving it shouldn’t be
considered a reward, it does not need to be earned.
Yes, when we are rebuking, giving consequences,
such as time outs, and letting them know that
something they had done is unacceptable, it is bet-
ter not to smile at that moment, conveying the
seriousness of the discussion. However, a parent
needs to be aware that denying a smile is powerful
and hurtful, especially to a young child, and it is so
important to bring the smile back as soon as
possible.
Rabbi Shneur Kotler, ob”m, would often say,
based on a verse in Deuteronomy, that the white
of one’s teeth, the smile, is more important than
milk. And his explanation: Milk feeds the body, a
warm smile sustains the spirit, the essence, the
totality of the person. A smile to a stranger, or
even a friend, is an expression of friendliness,
perhaps caring, or fondness. A smile to a child is
a whole different communication. It is a
reaffirming of our love for them, a statement that
our relationship is ok, and our closeness is
maintained. More similar to protein than to
snacks. In a young child, perhaps even analogous
to oxygen.
The truth is that the effect of a genuine, warm
smile should not be underestimated in all close
relationships. Simple, real smiles, ones that light
up the face and bring a sparkle to the eyes, make a
huge difference in building intimacy with one’s
spouse, parents, siblings, in-laws, and dear friends.
A simple smile to someone in pain can make the
pain somewhat easier to bear. Just a smile. Simple,
yet life giving, sustenance for the soul.
Dr. Lob is a clinical psychologist in private practice inChicago, working with adults, adolescents, and families, formany years. He lectures and writes extensively on topics re-lating to psychology, relationships, parenting, education, andJewish thought.
SIMPLE SMILESBy Rabbi Dr. Jerry Lob
8 July 2011 to advertise 773.336.8225
[email protected] cJa 9
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Jewish humor It’s funny because we say so!
The Other Side!For 30 years every day
Moishe ate at "Abe's Kosher
Deli". He was an honored
guest & had his own re-
served stool at the counter.
He was loved by everyone &
was generous to all the
servers & staff including the
owner, Moishe.
One day Moishe didn't
show at his regular time.
Abe was worried a bit as he
realized Old Moishe was a
widower & lived alone but
then got busy & forgot
about Moishe's absence.
The next day, no Moishe.
Abe was worried... he
phoned Moishe's number &
got no answer. He called a
few local hospitals & even
called Moishe's daughter in
Israel to no avail.
Abe couldn't sleep that
night wondering what had
happened. Now Abe was re-
ally concerned & just as he
was about to call 911 he
glanced out the window &
saw Moishe going into
"Goldberg's Deli" across the
street.
Abe took off out the door
& raced across the street
narrowly missing getting hit
by a bus & confronted
Moishe just as he was sitting
down. Abe screamed,
"where have you been? I
lost sleep & spent good
money phoning around
about you. What are you
doing here at Gold-
berg's.....you know he's my
worst enemy! Explain to me
Moishe!!!!!"
Moishe looked at Abe &
said calmly, "Settle down
Abraham, settle down. I'll
tell you what happened.... I
went to the dentist 3 days
ago & had one of those root
canals. Oy the pain! The
dentist gave me some pills &
said:
'Moishe, for a few days eat
on the other side.'
[email protected] cJa 11
12 July 2011 to advertise 773.336.8225
Recipes from our kitchen to yours!
Green Beans with Almonds & Caramelized Shallots
1/4 cup blanched slivered almonds
3 tablespoons margarine
5 small shallots or 1-2 small onions,thinly sliced
1 red bell pepper, chopped
2 tablespoons sugar
salt and pepper to taste
1 1/2 pounds fresh green beans,trimmed and snapped
Place slivered almonds in a dry skillet over lowheat, and cook and stir constantly until the al-monds are lightly toasted, 3 to 5 minutes. Watchcarefully, because they burn easily. Remove thealmonds and set aside.
Cook green beans in rapid boiling water for 4minutes. Drain and cool.
Heat margarine in a pan over medium-low heat,and cook and stir the shallots or onions and redbell pepper until softened, (approx 8 min). Sprin-kle the shallot/onion mixture with sugar, salt,and pepper, and reduce heat to low. Cover, andcook slowly, stirring occasionally, until the sugardissolves and the shallots/onions caramelize, (5-8 min).
Place green beans into the pan with theshallot/onion mixture, mix well, and gently stirin the toasted almonds.
Ingredients Directions
Submitted by Rivkah Greenland
CongRatuLations to ouR WinnER
Rivkah Greenland
Win a $150 gift Certificate to
ShallotsSubmit your favorite recipe for
Chicago Jewish Advertiser’s recipe page.
To enter your favorite recipe, email [email protected]
subject: recipe contest
The winner will be announced in the August 2011 issue
chicago Jewish advertiser reserves the right to exercise discretion in the selection of advertisers
and the duration of advertisements as well. chicago Jewish advertiser does not assume responsi-
bility for the kashrus of any advertisement or product.
[email protected] cJa 13
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DoubletakeCan you spot the differences in these two pictures?
10
1. White socks are pulled up higher. 2. Butterfly on shirt is facing the other way. 3. Black
sock are now pink. 4. Bushes are taller. 5. Pink flowers on girls shirt are now blue. 6. The
tree reflection in the window is gone. 7. Pink and white striped socks are now blue and
white. 8. Seam on girls denim skirt are gone. 9. Girl with white shirt waist line is lower.
10 Girl with buttons down shirt is missing buttons.
CHangEs
KEEP sCoRE
Double take
YouR Picture!
Email your pictures to:
chicagojewish
End of school interactive Day
at Cheder Lubavitch Preschool.
[email protected] cJa 15
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16 July 2011 to advertise 773.336.8225
Get your kashrus questions answered here! Email [email protected]
soup to Nuts Your kashrus Questions. . . Answered
Written by Rabbi Dovid Cohen
A service of the Chicago Rabbinical Council2701 West Howard | 773-465-3900
Quail eggs
Q. Do you know which quail
eggs are kosher?
a. One of the world’s experts
on the kosher status of different
birds is Rabbi Chaim Loike, who
works for the OU. An article
which he wrote on quail can be
found on their website at
http://bit.ly/hgLAbV, and he
has also shared with us a 22 page
book which he wrote on the
topic. In these works, he notes
that many species of quail are
kosher but there are others which
are not and therefore he recom-
mends (on page 11 of the book)
that “At this point quail eggs
should not be consumed unless it
is possible to verify that the eggs
are indeed those of a kosher quail
specie.”
rose water
Q. I believe that you had
recently told me that rose water
requires hashgachah. Is that cor-
rect? If yes, why does it need
hashgachah?
a. Rose water is believed to bemade by steeping the roses in
water so that an extract leeches
out, and then the water is distilled
to purify/strengthen the product.
Unfortunately, the primary pro-
duction areas are in Lebanon and
other countries where Mashgichim
are not welcome, such that we are
not aware of any Mashgichim who
can confirm that this is the
process and clarify if there are
any kashrus concerns. [It is worth
noting that most rose water sold
in the USA is not authentic rose
water but rather water which is
flavored to taste like true rose
water.] Accordingly, we are un-
able to recommend rose water
(or orange blossom water) with
out hashgachah.
slurpees
Q. The Slurpee machine at mylocal 7/11 is not kosher certified,
but someone showed me the
extensive list of kosher Slurpee
flavors from the cRc website.
Can I consume those flavors
even if the store isn’t kosher?
How do I know that there isn’t
carryover from a non-kosher fla-
vor to the kosher flavor?
a. Yes, you may eat (or shouldI say drink?) any kosher flavor of
Slurpee even if the specific 7/11
store is not kosher certified. The
reason is as follows: Each bag-in-box that holds asingle Slurpee syrup has its owndisposable hose, but there aresome hoses that do not getchanged or thoroughly cleanedbetween products. Thus, it ispossible that some of Flavor Awill be in the pipes even thoughthe bag-in-box and sign say thatFlavor B is being served. Thereason this isn’t a serious kashrusconcern is because (a) theamount of Slurpee left in themachine is minimal enough thatit would invariably all end up inthe first Slurpee purchased afterthe hoses were changed, and (b)almost every single Slurpee
flavor is kosher. Accordingly, thechances that I will get non-kosher Slurpee in my kosherSlurpee are too small to be sig-nificant. For more details on thekosher issues with Slurpees, seethe article by Rabbi Fishbane onour website at http://www.cr-cweb.org/kosher_articles/slurpees.php.
grap Juice
Q. What is the minimum per-centage of grape juice mixture to
require the bracha of hagafen?
a.If the grape juice is pure(without water or other ingredi-
ents added by the manufacturer),
then as long as there is at least 1
part grape juice for (just under)
every 6 parts of water (about
14%) the bracha is hagafen. If
there was more water than that,
then the bracha is shehakol.
Kosher alertsThe following drinks have been
added to the beverage list on the
cRc website (www.crcweb.org):
Starbucks Double Energy Coffee
Starbucks Double Energy Vanilla
Seattle’s Best Coffee Latte
Seattle’s Best Vanilla Latte
·Seattle’s Best Mocha Latte
All are kosher dairy (cholov
stam) under Rabbi Charlop when
bearing the KD on the label.
“Jolly Rancher” brand of soda is
now being distributed in the
Chicago area. There are several
flavors available but only one,
Green Apple, has the Kof -K cer-
tification on the cap. At this time,
only the flavor(s) bearing the Kof
K are recommended as kosher.
The newest addition to kosher
foods under the cRc in Chicago is
The Kosher Grill located at
Ravinia Park in Highland Park,
Illinois. They will be serving a va-
riety of grilled hot dogs and will
be open only during the Ravinia
season ( and closed on Shabbos).
[email protected] cJa 17
18 July 2011 to advertise 773.336.8225
We see in the Shulchan Aruch, Orech
Chayim 751 that during the three
week period between the fast of the
17th of Tamuz and the fast of the 9th of Av, we
are supposed to reduce our rejoicing. This law is
derived from the Gemora in the tractate of Ta'anis
(26b) which states that "When Av enters, we are to
lessen our rejoicing." During these "Three Weeks"
we do not have weddings, we do not take haircuts,
and we do not listen to music. During the time
between the beginning of the month of Av and
the fast on the 9th, we do not eat meat, drink wine,
and for many purposes, one may not bathe. (For
exact application of these laws, please consult your
Halachik authority. -YP) These are some of the
examples of the signs of mourning that we
demonstrate during this period of time. If we take
a step back from our actions, and think about what
we are or are not doing we should ask ourselves
"Why are we doing this, what are we to learn from
this?"
The answer lies in what role Jerusalem and the
Temple play in our lives. We see in the Medrash a
quote from Reb Levi: "All good blessings and
consolations that the Almighty is destined to give
to the Jewish people come only from Zion." The
Rabbis in the Gemora have described for us what
it means not to dwell in the Holy Land when they
wrote that "one who dwells outside of Israel is
compared to one who has no G-d." Reading these
passages and others like it, one can only imagine
the devastating spiritual toll the destruction of the
Temple and Jerusalem has had on the nation of
Israel. Yet, often it appears that we have lost that
yearning for the arrival of Moshiach and our
return to a rebuilt Jerusalem and Temple. When a
Rabbi concludes his sermon with the words "may
we all merit to be in Jerusalem next year" and we
answer "Amen," do we at that time really feel the
loss of our Temple and holiest city? Do we feel all
too comfortable living in America or anywhere in
exile, even with the knowledge that there are
people who are still persecuted because they are
Jewish? The Rambam (Maimonides) writes in his
Mishnah Torah (Chap. 11 - Laws of Kings) that
"one who is aware of the suffering in exile and
does not eagerly await the redemption, denies
belief in the redemption." Any complacency on
our part is tantamount to giving up on our future.
So what are we to do? The laws of mourning
observed during the "Three Weeks" are not meant
solely as a demonstration of mourning for a
destruction and exile that occurred 2000 years ago.
This period of time is supposed to remind us that
we, as individuals and as a nation, are not complete
as long as there are Jews who are scattered all over
the world in exile. We have to internalize this exile
and the effect it is to have on us. However, the
process does not end here. We also have to try and
understand what led to this terrible destruction,
and how we can better ourselves so that we can
merit being brought out of this exile that our evil
deeds led us to in the first place. Only a stronger
commitment to the Torah and our religion will
bring the redemption. Rabbi Yonason Eibshitz,
(1690-1764) wrote that the verse "And the land will
be filled with the knowledge of G-d as the waters
cover the sea" is a prerequisite to the coming of
Moshiach and our eventual redemption. This
surely increases our duties in the area of our
responsibility to hasten the arrival of our
redemption.
We have been assigned a task: to do what we can
to hasten our redemption. May we all merit to be
inspired by the solemnity of these Three Weeks,
to realize the totality of the loss we have suffered,
and to act on all of these feelings, so that we can
be returned to a rebuilt Jerusalem and Temple
speedily, in our days.
We now know why we fast. May we merit to all
take this lesson to heart, and see the Temple
rebuilt speedily, in our days.
by Rabbi Yehudah Prero
Guest contributor: Rabbi Aryeh Winter
www.torah.org.com
Why Do We Mourn?
[email protected] cJa 19
ekc - July 08
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xjbp - July 15
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dkp - 6:51
,uyn - July 22
8:02 p.m.
dkp - 6:47
hgxn - July 29
7:56 p.m.
dkp - 6:42
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