Clitheroe: A BaRKCRound Two: Lariel

ay I reiterate, Your Divine Majesty, just how honored I am to be chosen to join you here?”

“Yes, well, just remember that ‘divine majesty’ stuff and we’ll call it even,” the queen said.

I laughed (awkwardly) and gestured towards the small house we were approaching. I suspected it was mine, and sizing it up, it obviously needed some work. “Could this glorious example of architecture possibly be mine?”

“For now,” Queen Keika affirmed. I worked on controlling the slight frown that wanted to rise to my face. “Once you make some money in your business, though, I’m sure you can set it up to be a little grander than this. Call it a starter home.”

“As you wish, Your Divine Majesty,” I deferred.

“Don’t overdo it now,” she said brightly. I got the feeling she enjoyed the attention.

“Now, before I go tend the Royal Pokerhouse,” the queen said, smiling, “There’s just a few laws of the land I want you to know.”

The Royal Pokerhouse? “Laws, your majesty?” I asked instead.

“Number one!” she began, holding out a hand. “Thou shalt keep a careful journal of the important happenings in your family each round, and turn the record in to me. With taxes.”

“Number two,” she continued without allowing me to speak. “Only the reigning royal family may hold a venue-type business that utilizes custom ticket pricing.”

“Why is that, Your Divine Majesty?” I asked, genuinely curious.

“No particular reason. Just, er, a personal rule. Since I’m the God-Queen, that makes it law. Got it?”

“Yes, your majesty,” I said, seeing no reason to push it.

Queen Keika nodded. “Excellent. Now, I suggest you start digging up your yard. You might find it a good investment, shall we say, towards your first business.” With a self-satisfied smile on her face, the queen nodded again. “Good day.”

Her business apparently complete, the queen walked off down the road, headed towards her own tiny house. She had referred to it as a “royal palace” on our way here, but quite frankly, I wasn’t seeing it.

R.A. Hey there! Queen Keika here. Just thought I’d pop in with a “royal annotation” (R.A., you know) and insist that the “tiny house” she’s referring to was a palace in every important way. Don’t be snooty, peasant, and don’t forget I’m reading this!

And that, my fair reader, was how my life here in the Kingdom of Clitheroe began.

My name is Imelda Lariel. I was created by the God-Queen Keika Rheingold along with the other less-official peasants in Clitheroe. They’re still living in the mountains, a place we have been affectionately calling “Townieland.” I, however, was handpicked to come down out of Townieland and join the queen in the kingdom. Indeed, I am blessed.

The first thing I did (after using the facilities) was begin to do as the queen suggested and start digging holes in my luscious, green yard. I can’t say I was excited to do so, but the queen had spoken.

I was therefore overwhelmingly surprised to discover valuable treasure in the ground! Truly, a miracle from the God-Queen!

R.A. I like this peasant.

I was working on stuffing my pockets with every treasure I could pull out of the ground when my old friend Connor Goodwin stopped by to congratulate me. We had bonded in Townieland, and it was a delight to see him here.

An unparalleled delight.

I’m afraid I didn’t get much more done after Connor showed up. We went inside, shared some dinner, flirted all night… I didn’t even think of the money buried under my house. At least, I didn’t think often of it. Things like that are kind of hard to forget.

When the night entered the morning hours, Connor finally reluctantly cited the time and returned to Townieland. Exhausted though I was, it took some time to get to sleep.

I suspect the poor quality bed Her Majesty granted me with the house had something to do with it.

The next morning, I set myself sternly back to work. I have a business to finance, after all, and it seems that the best way to do that is to dig up treasure chests.

Unfortunately, I am easily distracted.

“Connor,” I said that night, “At this point in our relationship, really all that’s left for us to do is exchange rings.”

“Is that a proposal of marriage?” he asked somberly.

“Yes.”

“Well, then,” he answered. “Consider yourself betrothed.”

I did one better, and considered myself married.

Connor was a godsend around the house.

R.A. A “God-Queen-send” even, wouldn’t you say? Huh huh? Wink wink nudge nudge?

For one thing, he started helping me dig for treasure to fund our first business, and for another, he is a far better cook than I am. I somehow burn everything I touch. Not so with Connor. His food is delicious.

If only there were something we could do about his clothes…

Thanks to the four treasure chests I unearthed (Connor isn’t quite as good at sniffing out gold coins as I am), I was soon able to purchase the land for my first store from the queen. Since it was already dark, Connor and I decided to wait to open it until the following morning.

I call it “The Silver Bobbin.” Connor and I are going to sell fine clothes, and eventually haircuts, to everyone in the kingdom.

And may I mention, Your Divine Majesty, that the new palace looks quite excellent?

R.A. You may. That doesn’t excuse you for your first business looking so much better than mine. I’m watching you, Imelda.

Connor manned the register while I worked on getting the residents of Townieland out of body paint. We made a pretty great team. It was only to be expected. We work together like peaches and cream, after all. Like peanut butter and chocolate, even.

Hugh looks fabulous in his new paint-spattered overalls.

After a very productive first day—we made over $5000 between our two clothing racks and a few grants from the queen for reaching rank three—Connor and I passed out even though the sun was still brightly shining. It turns out that getting the kingdom properly dressed is hard work.

“Imelda? It’s time to open the Bobbin. Wake up, Imelda.”

I didn’t get up the following day until well into the afternoon, and when I did, I was ravenously hungry and yet, also sick to my stomach. Connor tells me he tried to wake me up multiple times to go in to the store, but I simply didn’t respond.

I was fairly well upset with myself when I got up and realized it was past three in the afternoon, but Connor reassured me everything was alright. It took a few hours, but eventually I started to believe him. I love this man, after all.

R.A. I was told privately by Connor Lariel that he spends all day of every day wishing to interact with his wife. It’s pretty sweet, actually. He’s really actually head over heels for her. *sigh* True wuv.

Of course, by that evening, it became abundantly clear why I had slept in.

“Well!” I exclaimed when I felt my stomach “pop” out, as it were. I couldn’t think of much more to say, actually.

“Already?” Connor asked. He smiled. “What are we going to call her, if that’s our heir you’re carrying?”

“You’re jumping to conclusions there, don’t you think?” I remarked.

“I think she wants a name that starts with ‘sh’,” Connor continued, undeterred. He rubbed my belly slowly, feeling for the kicking child. It was much too early for that, of course.

“Let’s think about it,” I said noncommittally.

There wasn’t much to do while I was pregnant. We couldn’t go in to the store, since I was always on the edge of starvation (I had a particularly rough pregnancy) and too tired to work the sales floor, and Connor couldn’t run the Bobbin by himself. So, to keep busy, he worked on building his sewing skill.

Eventually, we plan to sell custom-made clothes to the most important people in Clitheroe. Connor is making great strides towards that goal. I love this man.

My pregnancy proceeded normally, and as I drew closer to my due date, I found myself more and more excited, mainly for two reasons.

First, to meet my firstborn child, and hopefully heir.

Second, to finally be done being pregnant. The whole thing is killing me and my back.

Connor got gradually more excited, as well. By the end, he was talking more often to the baby than he was to me! …and I admit, though it was cute at first, it got rather wearisome rather quickly.

If I had realized then how much pain I had to look forward to, I might not have anticipated the end of the pregnancy so highly.

In the end, though, I looked into Connor’s eyes, staring back at me from that tiny face, and my heart melted. The difficult pregnancy and the painful labor was all worth it to now be holding my daughter and heiress.

Connor and I have named her Shannath.

And that concludes our first round here, Your Divine Majesty. Shannath was born after ten o’clock on Sunday evening, and after catching a few hours of rest, I quickly drew up this record to pass on to you. We’ll be sending you our taxes with this journal, as instructed.

“Imelda! Look! She’s smiling at me!”

We remain, your majesty, your obedient servants. Signed,

End of the Lariel record of Round Two.