dare not to compare

DARE NOT TO COMPAREDARE NOT TO COMPARE

I I DARE DARE YOUYOU

I’ve heard some crazy I’ve heard some crazy dares…dares…

--I Dare you to eat a worm--I Dare you to eat a worm --I Dare you to ask that girl to dance--I Dare you to ask that girl to dance --I Dare you to drink a gallon of cider --I Dare you to drink a gallon of cider

in one hourin one hour

Today I’m going to give Today I’m going to give you a dare….a Dare not you a dare….a Dare not

to Compare.to Compare.““They…comparing They…comparing themselves among themselves among themselves, are not wise” themselves, are not wise” (2 Corinthians 10:12).(2 Corinthians 10:12).

Teachings of Teachings of Howard W. Howard W. HunterHunter, 62, 62

In our spiritual In our spiritual progression we must be progression we must be careful not to compare careful not to compare ourselves to others.…. ourselves to others.…. [comparing] seldom [comparing] seldom leads to anything very leads to anything very constructive. Usually we constructive. Usually we just get depressed… We just get depressed… We would never let others would never let others be so hard on be so hard on themselves, but we are themselves, but we are certainly inclined to be certainly inclined to be hard on ourselves. hard on ourselves.

I’m not very handyI’m not very handy

Building a Swing SetBuilding a Swing Set

Ether 12:27Ether 12:27

Notice how Ether 12:23-25 Notice how Ether 12:23-25 gives us some really gives us some really important context for Ether important context for Ether 12:27.12:27.

One Girl’s Story…One Girl’s Story…

Yesterday, my best friend joined Yesterday, my best friend joined Facebook. Her facebook profile Facebook. Her facebook profile picture was so pretty- she looked picture was so pretty- she looked like a princess. Mine had little pig like a princess. Mine had little pig tails. I felt like I looked stupid. I tails. I felt like I looked stupid. I changed my profile picture to one changed my profile picture to one where you couldn't see my face, and where you couldn't see my face, and went to bed.went to bed.

Random Girls at an Random Girls at an AirportAirport

““Sometimes you want to have ugly Sometimes you want to have ugly friends so that you feel better about friends so that you feel better about yourself.”yourself.”

On another occasion: “You compare On another occasion: “You compare accessories, like one time this girl had accessories, like one time this girl had an animal bracelet and I thought it an animal bracelet and I thought it was so much cooler than my was so much cooler than my accessories.” accessories.”

Is Comparison Just for Is Comparison Just for Girls?Girls?

““I sometimes look around to see if a I sometimes look around to see if a guy has bigger muscles than I do.”guy has bigger muscles than I do.”

““I’m not an athlete, but I’m in choir I’m not an athlete, but I’m in choir and I will compare my voice to other and I will compare my voice to other people’s.people’s.

Comparing headsComparing heads What grade did you get?What grade did you get?

Is all comparison bad?Is all comparison bad?

President President Dieter F. Dieter F. Uchtdorf, Uchtdorf,

EnsignEnsign, Nov. , Nov. 20092009

““The Lord doesn’t The Lord doesn’t expect us to work expect us to work harder than we are harder than we are able. He doesn’t (nor able. He doesn’t (nor should we) compare should we) compare our efforts to those of our efforts to those of others. Our Heavenly others. Our Heavenly Father asks only that Father asks only that we do the best we we do the best we can—that we work can—that we work according to our full according to our full capacity, however capacity, however great or small that great or small that may be.”may be.”

Elder Jeffrey Elder Jeffrey R. HollandR. Holland

EnsignEnsign, May, , May, 20022002

Someone or something is Someone or something is forever telling us we need forever telling us we need to be more handsome or to be more handsome or more wealthy…. We are more wealthy…. We are told we haven’t collected told we haven’t collected enough possessions or enough possessions or gone to enough fun gone to enough fun places. We are bombarded places. We are bombarded with the message that on with the message that on the the world’sworld’s scale of things scale of things we have been weighed in we have been weighed in the balance and found the balance and found wanting….wanting….But God does But God does not work this way.not work this way.

Let’s review and discuss Let’s review and discuss what we’ve talked about what we’ve talked about

so far…so far… Do you compare yourself to others?Do you compare yourself to others? How does comparison affect your How does comparison affect your

life?life?

Dare Not to CompareDare Not to Compare

Why do people compare Why do people compare themselves to others?themselves to others?

Candy for pushupsCandy for pushups It’s not fair! (Matthew 20:1-13)It’s not fair! (Matthew 20:1-13)

Elder Boyd Elder Boyd K. PackerK. Packer

EnsignEnsign, May , May 1989, 51989, 5

““I know that you sometimes feel I know that you sometimes feel that life isn’t fair; why can’t you that life isn’t fair; why can’t you have things that others have. You have things that others have. You even wonder why you can’t even wonder why you can’t bebe somebody else and exchange your somebody else and exchange your body with someone who appears to body with someone who appears to be more beautiful or handsome or be more beautiful or handsome or talented or brighter or stronger or talented or brighter or stronger or thinner; or change personalities thinner; or change personalities with someone who is not so shy or with someone who is not so shy or blundering or frightened as you blundering or frightened as you are. Sometimes you wonder why are. Sometimes you wonder why you can’t trade your parents for you can’t trade your parents for some better ones. No need to some better ones. No need to apologize; they sometimes wish apologize; they sometimes wish they could trade you.”they could trade you.”

What makes people What makes people compare themselves to compare themselves to

others?others? It’s not fair! (Matthew 20:1-16)It’s not fair! (Matthew 20:1-16)

Pride (Annemarie praying).Pride (Annemarie praying).

President President Dieter F. Dieter F. Uchtdorf, Uchtdorf,

EnsignEnsign, Nov. , Nov. 20102010

““At its core, pride At its core, pride is a sin of is a sin of comparison, for comparison, for though it usually though it usually begins with “Look begins with “Look how wonderful I how wonderful I am and what great am and what great things I have things I have done,” it always done,” it always seems to end with seems to end with “Therefore, I am “Therefore, I am better than you.””better than you.””

President President BensonBenson, ,

“Beware of “Beware of Pride”Pride”

The proud depend upon the The proud depend upon the world to tell them whether world to tell them whether they have value or not. Their they have value or not. Their self-esteem is determined by self-esteem is determined by where they are judged to be where they are judged to be on the ladders of worldly on the ladders of worldly success. They feel success. They feel worthwhile as individuals if worthwhile as individuals if the numbers beneath them in the numbers beneath them in achievement, talent, beauty, achievement, talent, beauty, or intellect are large enough. or intellect are large enough. Pride is ugly. It says, “If you Pride is ugly. It says, “If you succeed, I am a failure.”succeed, I am a failure.”

3 Types of Comparing3 Types of Comparing

““I’m better”I’m better” ““I’m worse”I’m worse” Comparing on looksComparing on looks

““I’m Better”I’m Better”

D&C 82:3 D&C 82:3 2 youth scripture reading comparison2 youth scripture reading comparison

Dare not to compare on obedience.Dare not to compare on obedience. Blowing up a mailboxBlowing up a mailbox ““If you break the rules…”If you break the rules…” ““Everybody else has a girlfriend?”Everybody else has a girlfriend?” 1 John 5:31 John 5:3

President President BensonBenson, ,

“Beware of “Beware of Pride”Pride”

““If we love God, If we love God, do His will, and do His will, and fear His fear His judgment more judgment more than men’s, we than men’s, we will have self-will have self-esteem.”esteem.”

““I’m worse”I’m worse”

Are you Brad Are you Brad WilcoxWilcox?? We often compare others’ strong We often compare others’ strong

areas with our weaknesses.areas with our weaknesses. 1 Samuel 16:71 Samuel 16:7 Following quote from Elder Following quote from Elder

HollandHolland



““Who is it that Who is it that whispers so subtly in whispers so subtly in our ear that a gift our ear that a gift given to another given to another somehow diminishes somehow diminishes the blessings we have the blessings we have received? Who makes received? Who makes us feel that if God is us feel that if God is smiling on another, smiling on another, then He surely must then He surely must somehow be frowning somehow be frowning on us? You and I both on us? You and I both know who does this—it know who does this—it is the father of all lies. is the father of all lies. It is Lucifer, our It is Lucifer, our common enemy”common enemy”


EnsignEnsign, Nov., , Nov., 20052005

““I plead with I plead with youyou……to please be to please be more accepting of more accepting of yourselves, yourselves, including your including your body shape and body shape and style, with a little style, with a little less longing to less longing to look like someone look like someone else. We are all else. We are all different.” different.”

Comparison Comparison on looks on looks

All my life I hear from the worldAll my life I hear from the world

You’re not enoughYou’re not enough

You’re not pretty You’re not pretty

You scare everyone You scare everyone

You make them all run awayYou make them all run away

I hear my Savior reply I hear my Savior reply

You are enough You are enough

You are beautifulYou are beautiful

you are a light in the darknessyou are a light in the darkness

be who you want to bebe who you want to be

All my life the world tries to tell me All my life the world tries to tell me

She is prettier She is prettier

she is better than youshe is better than you

I hear my Savior reply to my fears I hear my Savior reply to my fears

You are enough just look upYou are enough just look up

I love youI love you

Smile Smile

Hold your head highHold your head high

Take hold of my handTake hold of my hand

Never let goNever let go

How Can You How Can You “DARE NOT TO COMPARE”?“DARE NOT TO COMPARE”?

Don’t wish you were someone else (Hel. 7:7-8)Always lift up others (Be a builder)Remember who you are (Moses 1:4,6,7,12)Ether 12:27

Building versus Tearing Building versus Tearing DownDown

I watched them tearing a building down, I watched them tearing a building down, A gang of men in a busy town.A gang of men in a busy town.

With a ho, heave, ho and a lusty yell, With a ho, heave, ho and a lusty yell, They swung the beam and a side wall fell.They swung the beam and a side wall fell.

I asked the foreman, "Are these men skilled?, I asked the foreman, "Are these men skilled?, The kind you'd hire if you were to build?"The kind you'd hire if you were to build?"

He gave a laugh and said, "No, indeed, common labor is all I He gave a laugh and said, "No, indeed, common labor is all I need.need.

I can easily wreck in a day or two, I can easily wreck in a day or two, What builders have taken years to do."What builders have taken years to do."

And so I asked as I went my way, And so I asked as I went my way, which of these roles have I tried to play?which of these roles have I tried to play?

Am I a builder with a well-made plan, lifting others the best I Am I a builder with a well-made plan, lifting others the best I can?can?

Or am I a wrecker who walks the town, Or am I a wrecker who walks the town, Content with the labor of tearing down?Content with the labor of tearing down?

We Learn by DoingWe Learn by Doing

Although you can compare in a good way, usually Although you can compare in a good way, usually comparing makes you feel bad.comparing makes you feel bad.

What causes people to compare?What causes people to compare? ““It’s not fair”It’s not fair” PridePride

Comparing “I’m better” “I’m worse”, and on looksComparing “I’m better” “I’m worse”, and on looks

Don’t wish you were someone else (Hel. 7:7-8)Always lift up others (Be a builder)Remember who you are (Moses 1:4,6,7,12)Ether 12:27

A Challenge For You:A Challenge For You:

““They…comparing They…comparing themselves among themselves among themselves, are not wise” themselves, are not wise” (2 Corinthians 10:12).(2 Corinthians 10:12).

Spend 48 hours really Spend 48 hours really focusing on not focusing on not

comparing yourself to comparing yourself to others. What do you others. What do you

notice?notice?



““I testify that no one of I testify that no one of us is less treasured or us is less treasured or cherished of God than cherished of God than another. I testify that another. I testify that He loves each of us—He loves each of us—insecurities, anxieties, insecurities, anxieties, self-image, and all. He self-image, and all. He doesn't measure our doesn't measure our talents or our looks; He talents or our looks; He doesn't measure our doesn't measure our professions or our professions or our possessions. He cheers possessions. He cheers on on everyevery runner, calling runner, calling out that the race is out that the race is against sin, against sin, notnot against against each other.”each other.”

dare not to compare

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