diary of a madman- lu xun

8/20/2019 Diary of a Madman- Lu Xun

1/9

A M A D M A N

S

D I A R Y

Translated

y

YangXian;,i

and CladysYang

Two

brothers,

whose names I need not rnention here,

were both

good

friends

of

mine in high school;but after

a

separation

f

many years

we gradually

ost

touch. Some time

ago I happened o hear that one

of them was seriously

ll ,

and since I was going back to

my

old home, I broke my

iourney

to call on

them. I sawonly one,

however,who told me

that the invalid washis younger

brother.

"l

appreciate our coming such a

long way

to see us," he said,

"but

my

brother recoveredsometime agoand has gone elsewhere o take up an official

post."Then, laughing,

he

produced wo

volumes

of his brother'sdiary

saying

that from

these

the nahlre of

his

past llness could be

seen and there was

no

harm in showing hem

to

an old

friend.

I

took

the diary away, ead t through,

and found that he

had suffered rom a form of

persecution

complex. The writing

was most confusedand

incoherent,

and

he had

made many wild statements;

moreover

he had omitted to

give

any dates,so that

only by the color of the

ink

and the differences

n the writing could one tell

that it was not all wriften at

one time. Certain

sections, owever,were not altogether

isconnected, nd I

havecopiedout a part to serveas a subject or medical research. have not

altereda single llogicality n the diaryand have

changedonly the names,even

though the people referred o are all conntry folk,

unknown to the world and

of no

consequence. s

or

the title, it

rvas

hosenby the

diarist

himself

afterhis

recovery,

nd I did not charrge

t.


2/9

Lu

Xun:

A Madman's

Diary

g

I

Tonight

the

moon

is very

bright.

I have

not

seen t

for

over

hirty

years, o odaywhenI saw t I felt n u'usually

high

spirits.

begin

to realize

hat

dLrring

he

past

hirty-ocld

ears

have

been

in

the

dark;

but

now

I must

be

extremely

careful.

otherwise

why

shotrld

he

Zhaos'dog

have

ooked

at me

twice?

I

have

eason

or

nrv fear.

z

Tonight

there

s no

moon

at all,

I know

that

this

is a

bad

ornen.This

rnor'ing

wlren

went

out

cautiously,

Mr.zhao had a strangeook in his eyes, s f he

were

afraid

of me,

as if

he wanted

o murder

me. There

were

seven

or eight

others

who

discussed

e in

a whisper.

And

they

were

afraid

of n.ry

eeing

hem.

So, ndeed,

were

all

the

people

passed.

he

fiercest

nong

thern

grin'ed

at

me, whereupon

shivered

rorn

head

to

foot,

knowing

that

tlreir

preparations

were

complete.

I

was

not

afraid,

owever,

ut continued

n my

way.

A

groupof

children

n

front

were

also

discussing

e, while

their

faces

oo

were

ghastly

pale.

I won-

dered

what

grudge

hese

children

corrld

have

against

me

to rnake

hem

behave

like

this. could

not help callingout,

"Tell

mel" But then they anawav.

I wonder

what

grudge

Mr. Zhao

has

against

me,

what

grudge

he people

on

the road have

against

me. I

can think

of 'othing

except

hat twenty

vears go

trod

on Mr.

Gu

liu's'

old ledgers,

r.rdMr.

Gu was

most

displeased.

lthough

Mr.

Zhao

doesnot

know

him, he

mr,rst

aveheard

alk

of this

a'd decided

o

avenge

im,

thus

he is

conspiring

gainst

me

with

the people

on the road.

But

tlren

what

of the

children?

At that

time they

were

not

yet

born, so why

should

they

eye me

so strangely

oday,

as f

they were

afraid

of me,

as f they wanted

to murder

ne?

This really

rightens

me,

it is

so bewildering

'd

upsetting.

I

know. They

must

have earned

his from

their parents

t

I can't

sleep

at night. Evervthing

requires

careful

consideratior.r

f

one is

to

understand

t.

Those

people,

some

of whom have

beenpilloried

by the rnagistrate,

lapped

in

the

face

by the local

gentry,had

their wives

aken

away

by bailiffs

or their

parents

driven to

suicide

by creditors, ever

ooked

as rightened

and as

ierce

then

as hey

did yesterday.

t. The

cltaracters

Cu

fiu

nrearr

old."

This refers

o tlre age-old

histon

of feudalisnr n

China.


3/9

l o F I C T I O N , r g l 8 - r 9 4 9

The most extraordinary

hing

was hat woman

on the streetyesterday

ho

wasspanking

her

son.

"Little

devil " she

cried.

"I'm

so angry could

eat

you "

Yet

all the time it

wasme she was ooking

at. I gave

a

start,unable o hide my

alarm. Then

all those ong-toothed

eople with livid

faces

began

o

hoot with

laughter.

Old

Chen

hurried forward

and dragged

me home.

He

dragged

ne

home.The folk

at home

all

pretended

ot to

know

me;

hey

had the

same ook in

their eyesas

all the others.When

I went into

the study,

they locked me

in as f cooping rrp

a chicken or a

duck. This incident

eft me

even more

bewildered.

A few days

ago a tenant of ours

from Wolf

Cub Village

came to report he

failure

of the crops

and told

rny

elderbrother hat

a notorious

haractern

their

village had

been

beaten

o

death; hen

some people had

taken out his heart

and liver, fried them in oil, and eaten them as a means of increasing heir

courage.When I interrupted,

he

tenant and my

brother both stared

at me.

Only todayhave realized

hat

they had exactly he

same ook in

their

eyes

s

those

peopleoutside.

fust

to think

of it setsme shivering

rom the crown

of

my

head

o the

soles

of my feet.

They

eat human

beings, o they may

eat

rne.

I

see that the

woman's

"eat

yon," the laughter

of those long-toothed

people with livid

faces,and the

tenant's

story the

other day are obviously

secretsigns. realize all

the

poison

in

their speech,

all the daggers n

their

laughter.

Their

teeth are

white

and glistenimg:

hey use these teeth

to eat

rTlen.

Evidently, lthough

am

not

a bad man,

eversince

kod

on

Mr.

Gu's edgers

it has

been touch-and-gowith me.

They seem

to have

secrets hat I

cannot

guess, nd once heyareangry hey

will

call

anyone

a

bad

character. remember

when

my elder brother

aught

rne

to rvrite

cornpositions,

o matter how

good

a man was, f I produced

arguments o

tlre contrary

he would mark

that passage

to showhis approval;while if I excnsed vildoers e would say, Good for you,

that showsoriginality."

How can I possibly

guess

heir secret houghts-espe-

cially when they

are

ready o

eat people?

Everything requires

careful consideration

f

one is to

understand t.

In

ancient

times, as I recollect,people

often ate human

beings,but

I am rather

hazy

about

it. I

tried to look this trp,

but

my.history

has

no chronology

and

scrawledall over each pageare

the

words

"Cor.rfucian

Virtue and

Morality."

Since I could not

sleepanyway, read ntently

half

the night

until I

began o

seewords

between he

liues.

fhe

whole

book was

illed with

the two

words-

"Eat

people."

All

thesewordswritten n

tlre

book, all the words

spoken

by our tenant,

eye

me

quizzicallywith

an er.rigrnatic

nrile.

I

too am a nlan,

and they want

to eat rne


4/9

LuXun

A Madnnn's

Diary

rl

4

In

the rnorning

satquietly

or sorne

ime.

old chen

brought n lunch:

one

bowl

of 'egetables,

re

borvl of stearr.red

ish.

The

eyesof the fish u,ere

white

and hard,

and

tsmouth

wasopen

ust

ike hose eoplewho want oeathurnan

beings.After

a few

nrouthfuls

cou]d not tell

whether

he slipperynrorsels

ere

fish

or hunran

lesl.r,

o I

brought t all

up.

I

said,

Old

Chen, tell

my brother

hat I feel

quite

suffocated nd want

to

have

a stloll n

the

garden."

ld Chen saidnothing

but

wentont,and

presently

he

came

backand

opened

he gate.

I

did not nrove,

but watched

o

seehow they

woulcl

reat ne, eeling

certain

that hey

wotrld

not et me

go.

Sureenough My

elder

brothcrcarne lowlv

ut,

leadingan

old nran.'l ' l.rere

as

a murderous

leanr rrhis

eyes, nd earingiha t

I would

see

t

he owered

is heacl,

tealing

ideglances

t nre ronrbehincl

is

glasses.

'You

seen very

well today,"

saidn.ry

rother.

"Yes,"

aid

.

"l

have nvited

IVIr.He here

oday o

examine

you."

"All

right,"

I replied.

Actually I krrew

quite well

that this

old

man rvas

he

executioner n

disguise Feeling

my

pulse

was

sirnply

a

pretext or him

to

see

hor.v

at I was,

or this rvould

entitle him

to a share

of

n-ry lesh.

Still, I wasnot

afraid.Although

I do not

eat men rny

corlrage

s

greater l.ran

heirs. held

out

rny two

fists o

see

what

he would

do.

The

old man sat

down, closedhis

eyes,

fumbled for

some inre, rer.nained 'rotionlessor a while, hen openedhisshiftv

eyes

and saicl,

Don't

let

vour irnagination

nrn awaywith

you.

Rest

quietly or

a few days,

and

vou

will be

better."

Dorr't

let

your

irr.ragination

rn away

with

votrl

Rest


5/9

1 2

F r c T r o N , g l 8 - r 9 4 9

5

These ew days

havebeen

hinking again:suppose

hat old

man

were

not an

executioner

n

disguise,

ut a

real

doctor;

he would be

nonetheless n eater

of

human fesh. That bookon herbsby his predecessori Shizhen2 tates xplicitly

that

men's

lesh

can be

boiled and eaten;

how then can

he st ill deny that

he

eatsmen?

fu for my elder brother,

have

also

good reason o suspect

im. When

he

was eachingme, he told

me

himself,

People

exchangeheir sons

o eat."3

nd

once

n discussing bad

man he said hat

not only did the

fellow

deserve

o

be

killed,

he should

"have

his flesheatenand

his hide sleptot-t."

was

still

young

at the time,

and for quite a

while my heart beat

faster.That storyour

tenant

from Wolf Cub

Village told

the

other

day aborrteating

a man'sheartand

liver

didn't surprise

him at all-he

kept nodding

his head. He is evidently

ust

as

cruel

asbefore.Since

t

is possible

o

"exchange

ons o eat,"

hen anythingcan

be exchanged,

nyonecan

be eaten. n the

past

simply

istened o

his expla-

nationsand

let it go at that;

now I kuou'that

when he gaveme theseexplana-

tions,not

only was here

hurnan at at the comer of

his ips,but his

whole heart

wasset

on eatingmen.

6

Pitch-dark.don't

knowwhethert is dayor

night,

The

Zhaos'dog as tarted

barking gair-r.

The

fiercenessf a

lion, he inriditvof

a rabbit,

he craftiness

f a

fox. . .

/

I know their

way: hey

are not prepared o

kill

outright,

nor

would

they

dare,

for fear of the consequences.

nstead hey

have banded together and set

traps

everywhere,

o force

rne

to

kill rnyself.The

behavior

of the

men and women

in the street

a few daysago and

my elder

brother's

attitude

these ast few days

make

t quite

obvious.

What they like best

s for

a

man to takeoff his belt and

hang himself

rom

a

bearn,

or

then

thev can enioy heir hearts'desirewithout

being

blamed

for rnurder.

Naturally that delights hem and sets hem

roaring

with

laughter.On the

other

hand, if

a

rnan is frightened

or

worried to

death,

though

that

makes

hirn rather hirr,

they

still

nod in

approval.

z.

Farnous pharmacologist

(r5r&-r593).

It is not stated nhis

Compndium

of Materia Medica

that human flesh corrld be rrsedas

a

nredicine;

his *es one of the delusionsof the madman.

3.

The ancient

historical ecord

Zuo

zhuan

stateshat

during

a siege n

488

B.C.

the

besieged

were so fanrished hat they

"exchanged

heir sotts o eat."


6/9

LuXun:

AMadman's

iary

rl,

They only

eatdead

lesh

remember

eading

omewhere

[a

hideous

beast

with an

uglv

look

ir-r ts eye

called

"hyena,"

which

often

eats

dead

lesh.

Even

the

largest ones

t crunches

nto

fragments

nd swallows;

he

mere

hought

of

this rnakes

our

hair stand

on

end.

Hyenas

are

related o

wolves,

wolvesbelong

to the

canine

species.

'he other

daV

he

Zhaos'dog

eyed

me

several

imes:

t

is obviously

n the plot

too

as heir

accomplice.

The old

man's

eyes

were cast

down,

but

that did

not deceive

me.

'fhe

most

deplorable

s my elder

brother

afraid,

why

is he plotting

with others

o eat

man

to what's

wrong?

Or

is he so

heartless

crime?

He's

a man

too,

so

wh,v

sn'the

me?

Does

orce

of

habit blind

a

that

he will

knowingly

ommit

a

8

ln cursit]g

man-eaters,

shall

start

with my

brother.

n dissuading

man-eaters,

I shall start

with

him too.

Actually

such

arguments

hould

have

convinced

hem

long ago'

'

Suddenly

someone

ame

in. He

wasonly

about

twenty

years

old

and

I did

not see

his features

ery clearly.

His

face

was

wreathed

n

smiles,

but

wher.r

e

nodded

o

me his smile

didn't

seem

geuuine.

asked

im,

"ls

it

right

to eat

human

beings?"

Stil l

smiling,

he

replied,

When

there

s no

farnine

ow

can

one

eat

human

beings?"

I

realized

t

once

he

wasone

of

them;

but

stil l

I summoned

p courage

o

repeat

my

question:

"ls

it right?"

"What

tilakes

ou ask

such

a

thing?

You

reallyare

' fond

of

a

loke'

' ' It

is

very

ine today."

,,lt

is

fine, and

the

moon

is very

bright.

But

I want

to ask

you: Is

it right?"

He looked

disconcerted

nd

muttered,

No

' ' '"

"No?

l'hen

why

do

they still

do

it?"

"What

are you

talking

about?"

,.what

am

I talking

about?

They

are

eating

men

now

in wolf cub village,

and

you

can

see

t

written

all

over

he

books,

n

fresh

ed

ink'"

His

expression

hanged.

He grew

ghastly

ale.

lt

may

be

so,"

he said,

taring

at me.

"That's

he

way

t's always

een.

. .

"

"Does

that

make

t

right?"

"l

refuse

o discuss

t

with you.

Anyway,

ou

shouldn't

alk

about

t.

It'swrong

for anyone

o talk

about

t."

I leaped

up

and

opened

my

eyes

wide,

but

the man

had

vanished.

was

soaked

with

sweat.

He

was

much

younger

han

nry

elder

brother,

but

even

so

he

was

n it.

He

mr.rst

ave

been

aught

by

his parents.

Arrd

I am afraidhe has

already

aught

his son;

hat

is why

even

he

children

ook

at

me

so

fiercely.


7/9

1 4

F r c T r o N ,

g l S - l g 4 g

I

wanti'g

to

eat men,

at

the

same

irne

afraid

of

being

eaten

hemselves,

hey

all

eye

each

other

with

the

deepest

uspicion.

.

.

How

comfortable

ife would

be for

thenr

f tlrey

could

rid

themselves

f such

obsessions

nd

go

to work,

walk,

eat,

and

sleep

at ease.

hey

have

only

this

one

step

o

take.

Yet athers

rd

sons,

usbands

ncl

wives,

brothers,

riends,

eachers

and

students,

worn

enemies,

and

eve'

strangers,

ave

all

ioined

in

this

con-

spiracy,

iscouraging

nd

preventing

eaclr

otlrer

rom

taking

his

step.

l o

Early

this morning I went to find mv elder brother.He wasstandingoutside

the

hall

door

ooking

at the

sky

whe'

I

walkecl

p behind

him,

standingietween

hirn

and

the

door,

and

addressed

i'r

with

exceptional

oise

and polit".,.rr,

"Brother,

have

sornething

o say

o vou."

"Go

ahead

hen." He

turned

quickly

toward

ne,

nodding.

"ltt

nothing

n*rch,

but I

find

it

hard

to

say.Brother,

probably

all

primitive

people

ate

a little

human

flesh

o

begin

witlr.

Later,

because

heir views

altered,

so're

ofthem

stopped

nd

tried

so hard

o

do what

was

ight

that they

changed

into

men,

ir.rto

eal

men.

But

sonle

are still

eating

people-

just

like

reptiles.

Somehavecha'ged i'rto fish,birds,nronkeys, nd finalrymen; but those

who

make

no

effort

to

do whatt

right

are

still

reptiles.

when

thosewho

eat

men

compare

hernselves

itl-r

hose

wl.ro

on't,

how

ashamed

hey

rnust

be.

probably

much

more

ashamed

han

the reptiles

are

before

nonkeys.

"ln

ancient

tirnes

Y

Ya boiled

his

son

for

fie

and

Zhou

to eat;a

hat

is the

old

story.

But

actually

si'ce

the creatio.r

of lreave'

and

earth

by

pan

Gur

men

have

been

eating

each

other,

from

the

ti're

of

yi

yat

son

to the

time

of Xu

Xilin,6

and from

the

time

of Xu

Xilin

dow.

to

the

rnan

ca.ght

in

wolf

cub

Village.

Last

year hey

executed

crirni,al

irr

rre

city,

a.rd

a co.,sumptive

oaked

a pieceof bread n his

blood

and

suckecl

t.

"They

want

to

eat

me,

and

of

corlrse

yo*

can

do

nothi'g

about

it

single-

handed;

but why

n-urst

ou

ioi'

thenr?

As

'rar-eaters

they

are

capable

of

a.y-

thing.

If

they

eat

rne,

hey

can eat

you

aswell;

rnernbers

f

the

same

group

can

still

eat

each

other.

Btrt

if yotr

will

iust

change

your

ways,

change

ight

"*"y,

hen

everyone

will

have

peace.

Altho.gh

this

has

been

going

on

silce

time

4.

Yi

Ya,

a fa'orite

of Duke

tf.an

of

ei in the sc'e,th cent'ry 8.c., wasa good cook a.rd

sycophant'

Whetr

the

dtrke renrarked

that he

had

never

tasted

he

flesh

ofchildreri,

yi

ya

cooked

his

own

son

for him

to

eat.

f

e

and

Zhou

uere

kirrgs

of

earlier periods.

This

misstatenrelt

s

presented

as a sign

of

mental

denrugenrent.

5.

A

nrythological

6gure.

6. A revoltlti onan'

esecttted

n r9o7

for

assassirratirrg

Qing

official.

His

heart

and

liver

were

eaten.


8/9

Lu

Xun:A Madman's

Diarv

rq

immernorial,

odaywe

could rnake

a special

effort o

do what is right,

and

sav

this

can'tbe

done 'm

sureyou

can say hat,Brother.

l 'he

otherdavwhen

he

tenant

wanted

he rent reduced, ou

said t cor-rldn't

e

done."

At

firsthe

only srniled

cynically, herr

a rnurderous

leam

came

nto

his

eyes,

and when

I spoke

of their

secret re turned

pale.Outside

he gatequite a

crowd

had

gathered, mong

hem Mr.

Zhao

and

his

dog,all

craning heir necks

o

peer n.

I could not

see

all their faces.

Sorneof them

seemed o be masked;

otherswere

he old lot , long-toothed

with livid faces,

oncealing

heir

aughter.

I knew

thel' were

one gang,

all eaters f human

flesh.But I

also

kneu'

hat

they

did not

all think

alikeby

any means.

Someof thern hou ght

hat since t

had

always

eenso,men

shouldbe

eaten.Others new hey

shouldn't atmen

but

still

wanted

o, and

were

afraid peoplemight

discover heir

secret; o although

what

saidmade hem

angry hey

stil lsmiled heir cynical,

ight-lipped rniles.

Suddenly

my brother's

acedarkened.

"Clear

off, he whole

ot of yotr "he roared.

What's

he point of

looking

at

a

madman?"

T'hen

realizecl

artof theircunning.Theywouldnever

e

will ing

o change

their

stand, nd their

planswereall laid:

they

had

abeled

me a

madman.

n

future,

when I was

eaten,not

only

would

therebe no trotrble

but peoplewould

probably

be grateful o

them. When our tenant spokeof

the

villagers

ating

a

bad

character,t wasexactly

he samedevice.

fhis

is their

old trick.

Olcl

Chen came ir.r oo in

a towering entper.But thev

cotrld

not

stop my

mouth. I had

to

warn

thosepeople:

"You

should

change,change rom the bottom

of your hearts.You must

re-

alize that there will be

no place or man-eatersn

the

world

in future.

"lf

you

don't

change,

ou

may

all be eaten y eachother.Howevermany

of

you there

are,you will be wiped

out

by

the

rcal rnel,

jtrst

as

wolves re

killed

bv hunters-

just

ike

reptiles "

Old Chen drove everybody way.My brother had

disappeared.

ld Chen

advisedme

to go back o my room. It waspitch-dark n

there.The beams

ar-rd

rafters

shook above

n.ry

head.

After

shaking

or

a

while

they grew

bigger

and

bigger.They

piled on top of

me.

The vveightwas so

great, couldn't

r.nove. hey rneant

hat I shoLrlcl

ie.

However, knowing

that the weight

was false,

stnrggled

out, dripping with

sweat.But I

had

to

warn

them:

"Yon

must

changeat once,change

ronr he bottom

of your hearts Youmust

know

that there'll be no

place

or

man-eaters

n future.

. .

."

1 l

'l'he

sur-r asstopped hining, he

door s neveropened.

ust

rvomealsday

after

dry.

Picking up my chopsticks, thought of

rny

elder brother. know

now

how

my litt le

sister ied:

t rvas

ll

throughhim. My sister

as

only fiveat the irle.


9/9

L6 F l c r roN,

9 l8 -1949

I

can

still remember

-row

weet

she ooked,

poor

thi'g.

Mother

wept as f

she

would

never

stop,but he

begged

her not

to cry,

probably

because

e had

eaten

our sister

himself

and so his weeping

madehirn

rather

asharned.

f

he

had

any

sense

f shame.

. .

My sisterwaseatenby my brother,brrt don't knowwhetherMother realized

it

or not.

I

think Mother

must have

known,

but

when

she wept

she

didn't say

so

outright,

probably

because

he

also ho'ght

it proper.

remember

when

I was

four

or

five,

sifting n

the

cool of

the hall, rny

brother

old

me that

if a man's

parents

were ll he

should

cut

off a piece

of his flesh

and boil it for

them,

if he

wanted

o be considered

good

son;:

and

Mother

didn't

contradict

him. If

one

piece

could be

eaten,obviously

o could

the whole.

And yet

ust

o think

of the

weeping

hen

still makesmy heartbleed; hat is the extraordinaryhing about

it

t 2

I

can't bear

o think

of it.

It

has

only

iust

dawned

on me that

all

these

years

have been iving

in

a

place

where

or four thousand

years

huma'

fesh

has

been

eaten.My

brother

had

iust

taken

over the

charge

of the house

when

our

sisterdied,

and he may

well haveusedher flesh n our food,making us eat t unwittingly.

I may

have

eaten several

pieces

o[ rny

sistert

flesh

unwittingly,

and now it

is

my turn. .

. .

How

can a man ike

nryself,

fter our

thousand

ears

f man-eating

istory-

even hough

I knew

nothing

about t

at first-ever

hope

to

face

real men?

r 3

Perhaps

here are still

children who

haven't

eaten

men?

Save

he children.

. .

7.

The

doctrine

of fil ial pieh'used

bv the feudal

nrling

class

o poison

he

people

preached

that

a son

should, f necessary,

ut off his

orrrr

flcsh

to

feed

ris parents.

tgtS

diary of a madman- lu xun

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