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COVER STORY 如何解决孩子的青春期问题

How to Resolve the Issues of Adolescence COVER STORY

61Villas Life/March 2010

Mr. Mark Angus

Principal of The British International School,

Shanghai

Q: What are the common problems

of adolescent children?

A: Children can often feel intimidated

by what they perceive as the success

of others (however inconsequential

or ephemeral such ‘success’ may

be). They feel that they are not good

enough, or that they don’t deserve

happiness. Children can also feel

under pressure from (well-meaning)

Discovering the Sourceof the Problem

"Discovering the source of the problem is the first step towards engaging with a difficult adolescent," Mr. Mark Angus told Villas Life.

parents who may not have realistic

academic expectat ions for thei r

children.

Q: What are the main causes of these

problems?

A: Wider cultural issues can be a

contributing factor to a teenager ’s

sense of unworthiness or isolation.

Popular culture at the moment is

very judgmental (stop for a moment

to consider shows like American Idol

for instance and the way in which

they encourage and thrive on the

humiliation of contestants). However,

parents often also have a role to

play in that they may not appreciate

that children mature and are ‘ready’

for academic success on vast ly

different timescales, and that therefore

they need sometimes to be more

understanding.

Q: Regarding these problems, how

should the school deal with?

A: Schools have a responsibility to

set pupils individual, challenging and

yet realistic targets. We also have a

duty to communicate these targets

effectively to parents and pupils alike.

A school should also strive to provide

an environment where pupils feel ‘safe’

– that is where failure is neither feared

nor ignored and is seen as part of the

learning process, but also a climate

where every success – no matter how

small – is celebrated.

Q: Regard ing these prob lems,

how should the parents do? How

to communicate with the children

better?

A: Parents should aim to work with

schools and to remember that their

child’s first instinct always is to please

them. Therefore, they should seek to

recognize and acknowledge this fact

above all else, even when it seems as

if the opposite is true. Most children will

not do badly at school at purpose – if

a child is not fulfilling their potential it

is important to ask why, and for us all –

parent, pupil and school alike – to ask

ourselves what part we have played

in this. Academic under-achievement

does not happen in isolation.

Q: In the process of educating

children, how should parents play

different roles?

A: Read to them every day, until they

are old enough to read to you instead.

Make sure the home environment

gives them access to news, books,

music and conversation. Help them

with their homework, but never do it for

them. Always be encouraging, but do

not reward or recognize a lack of effort.

Q: If children are very rebellious, how

should parents deal with?

A: Teenagers who are rebellious are

very often expressing, in the only way

they know how, a profound sense

of disappointment – at themselves,

at you, at school, at ‘ the system’.

Discovering the source of this sense of

disappointment can often be the first

step towards engaging with a difficult

adolescent. You may not l ike the

answer but if you want to help them to

move on, you must ask the question.

COVER STORY 如何解决孩子的青春期问题

How to Resolve the Issues of Adolescence