Download - Politeness
To the average person: Being polite means showing good
manners and thinking about other people’s feelings
For the sociolinguist: The way that people choose to speak
and how their listeners react to what they say
Ideas of politeness vary between cultures
What is polite in one culture is not necessarily polite in another
Saying to a woman “You’ve gained weight.” Compliment in Africa and Arab
cultures• Means that you’re looking healthy.
Very rude in America, Europe and most of Asia
Better to say the opposite “Have you lost weight?”
1. Get me a Coke.2. Get me a Coke, Andy!3. You’ll be a pal and get us a Coke won’t you Andy?4. Could you possibly get me a Coke from the machine
please, Andy? 5. If you’re going to the machine, could you possibly
get me a Coke while you’re there?6. If you’re going to the machine, would you possibly
be so kind as to get me a Coke while you’re there please?
7. I’m really sorry to ask, but if you’re going to the machine, I’d be ever so grateful if you would possibly be so kind as to get me a Coke while you’re there please.
A person’s self-image Other people’s image of a person In Japanese: 体面 or 面子
Positive face Self Want to be liked
and respected Desire for approval
from others Negative face
Others Desire to act freely
Politeness is used when your face is threatened When you might lose other’s respect When you can’t act freely
Called face threatening acts (FTA)
Request: Asking for money “Could I borrow \5,000?”
Compliment: Man complimenting a woman “You’re really beautiful.”
Expressing thanks “Thank you for your help.”
Taboo topic “How old are you?”
Apology “I’m sorry for being late.”
Social distance Friends have more flexibility than strangers
Social status Equals have more flexibility than unequals
Nature of the threat Some threats may be bigger
Politeness is a way to show awareness of another person’s face
Face-saving act: saying something that lessens the possible threat to another’s face
Shut the door! Does not leave the hearer with any choice Makes the speaker sound more powerful
Please: “Shut the door please.” Hedges: “If it isn’t too much trouble,
shut the door.” Questions: “Could you pass the salt?” Provisional language: Using if, would,
can, etc. Make refusing easier
In general terms, politeness is being nice to other people.
More formally, politeness is concern for someone’s face. Negative face: be able to act freely Positive face: be liked and admired
Interaction with people can threaten people’s face
People avoid face threatening acts with polite strategies