edanz osaka furitsu session 2
TRANSCRIPT
Elements of a Good Submission: Raising Your Chances of Acceptance
Amanda Hindle
Senior Editor
Edanz Group
16 January 2013大阪府立大学女性研究者支援センター大阪府立大学女性研究者支援センター大阪府立大学女性研究者支援センター大阪府立大学女性研究者支援センター
� How to write an Abstract
� References
� Cover letters: How to appeal to journal
editors
� Responding to peer review
Session 2 …
Abstracts
Section 1
Publisher
Adaptations
Writing AbstractsTelling a story
Similar to full manuscripts, Abstracts should
have a:
�Beginning
� ‘tell them what you did and why’
�Middle
� ‘tell them how you did it and what you found’
�End
� ‘tell them again what you did and what it means’.
Publisher
Adaptations
Writing Abstracts
Who’s hungry?
First impressions are
important!
First impressions are
important!
Publisher
Adaptations
Writing Abstracts
Important points
First impression
of your paper
First impression
of your paper
Importance of
your results
Importance of
your results
Validity of your
conclusions
Validity of your
conclusions
Relevance of
your aims
Relevance of
your aims
Judge your
writing style
Judge your
writing style
Probably only part
that will be read
Probably only part
that will be read
Publisher
Adaptations
Writing AbstractsGeneral guide
Aims
Background
Methods
Results
Conclusion
Why the study was done (20%)
Your hypothesis (10%)
Techniques (10%)
Most important findings (40%)
Conclusion & implications (20%)
Publisher
Adaptations
Writing Abstracts
Structured abstract
Pal et al. (2012). New England Journal of Medicine 367: 1002-1011
Background/
Aims
Background/
Aims
TechniquesTechniques
Important
results
Important
results
BACKGROUND: Epidemiologic and genetic evidence links type 2 diabetes, obesity, and cancer. The tumor-
suppressor phosphatase and tensin homologue (PTEN) has roles in both cellular growth and metabolic
signaling. Germline PTEN mutations cause a cancer-predisposition syndrome, providing an opportunity to
study the effect of PTEN haploinsufficiency in humans.
Methods: We measured insulin sensitivity and beta-cell function in 15 PTEN mutation carriers and 15
matched controls. Insulin signaling was measured in muscle and adipose-tissue biopsy specimens from 5
mutation carriers and 5 well-matched controls. We also assessed the effect of PTEN haploinsufficiency on
obesity by comparing anthropometric indexes between the 15 patients and 2097 controls from a
population-based study of healthy adults. Body composition was evaluated by means of dual-emission x-
ray absorptiometry and skinfold thickness.
RESULTS: Measures of insulin resistance were lower in the patients with a PTEN mutation than in controls
(e.g., mean fasting plasma insulin level, 29 pmol per liter [range, 9 to 99] vs. 74 pmol per liter [range, 22 to
185]; P=0.001). This finding was confirmed with the use of hyperinsulinemic euglycemic clamping, showing
a glucose infusion rate among carriers 2 times that among controls (P=0.009). The patients' insulin
sensitivity could be explained by the presence of enhanced insulin signaling through the PI3K-AKT pathway,
as evidenced by increased AKT phosphorylation. The PTEN mutation carriers were obese as compared with
population-based controls (mean body-mass index [the weight in kilograms divided by the square of the
height in meters], 32 [range, 23 to 42] vs. 26 [range, 15 to 48]; P<0.001). This increased body mass in the
patients was due to augmented adiposity without corresponding changes in fat distribution.
CONCLUSIONS: PTEN haploinsufficiency is a monogenic cause of profound constitutive insulin sensitization
that is apparently obesogenic. We demonstrate an apparently divergent effect of PTEN mutations:
increased risks of obesity and cancer but a decreased risk of type 2 diabetes owing to enhanced insulin
sensitivity.
PTEN mutations as a cause of constitutive insulin sensitivity and obesity
ConclusionConclusion
Publisher
Adaptations
Writing AbstractsUnstructured abstract
Yanai et al. (2012) PLoS ONE 7:e44475.
A devastating earthquake and tsunami hit Japan on March 11, 2011, followed by several long and
intense aftershocks. Laboratory mice housed in the Tokyo, located approximately 330 km south of
this earthquake’s epicenter, displayed remarkable changes in a variety of behaviors and
physiological measures. Although unusual pre-earthquake behaviors have been previously
reported in laboratory animals, little is known about behavioral and physiological changes that
occur after a great earthquake. In the present study, the effects of Tohoku earthquake on mice
behavior were investigated. ‘‘Earthquake-experienced’’ mice displayed a marked increase in food
consumption without gaining body weight in response to the earthquake. They also displayed
enhanced anxiety, and in a formal fear memory task, showed significantly greater tone- and
context-dependent conditioned freezing. Water maze performance of earthquake-experienced
mice showed the quicker acquisition of the task, faster swim speed and longer swim distance than
the naive mice. Serum corticosterone levels were elevated compared to the naive mice, indicating
that the earthquake and aftershocks were stressful for the mice. These results demonstrate that
great earthquakes strongly affect mouse behaviors and physiology. Although the effects of a
variety of experimental manipulations on mouse behaviors in disease models or in models of
higher cognitive functions have been extensively examined, researchers need to be aware how
natural phenomena, such as earthquakes and perhaps other natural environmental factors,
influence laboratory animal behaviors and physiology.
Remarkable changes in behavior and physiology of laboratory mice after the
massive 2011 Tohoku earthquake in Japan
Publisher
Adaptations
Writing AbstractsUnstructured abstract
Although unusual pre-earthquake behaviors have been previously reported in laboratory animals,
little is known about behavioral and physiological changes that occur after a great earthquake.
In the present study, the effects of Tohoku earthquake on mice behavior were investigated..
‘‘Earthquake-experienced’’ mice displayed a marked increase in food consumption without gaining
body weight in response to the earthquake. They also displayed enhanced anxiety, and in a formal
fear memory task, showed significantly greater tone- and context-dependent conditioned freezing.
Water maze performance of earthquake-experienced mice showed the quicker acquisition of the
task, faster swim speed and longer swim distance than the naive mice. Serum corticosterone levels
were elevated compared to the naive mice, indicating that the earthquake and aftershocks were
stressful for the mice.
A devastating earthquake and tsunami hit Japan on March 11, 2011, followed by several long and
intense aftershocks. Laboratory mice housed in the Tokyo, located approximately 330 km south of
this earthquake’s epicenter, displayed remarkable changes in a variety of behaviors and
physiological measures.
These results demonstrate that great earthquakes strongly affect mouse behaviors and physiology.
Although the effects of a variety of experimental manipulations on mouse behaviors in disease
models or in models of higher cognitive functions have been extensively examined, researchers
need to be aware how natural phenomena, such as earthquakes and perhaps other natural
environmental factors, influence laboratory animal behaviors and physiology
BackgroundBackground
AimsAims
TechniquesTechniques
Important
results
Important
results
ConclusionConclusion
Yanai et al. (2012) PLoS ONE 7:e44475.
Publisher
Adaptations
Writing Abstracts
Do not
include…
Do not
include…
ReferencesReferences AbbreviationsAbbreviations
Jargon/slangJargon/slangNumbers &
statistics
Numbers &
statistics
Things to avoid
Publisher
Adaptations
Writing Abstracts Describing numbers and statistics
We find that, under low extracellular tension, newly formed adhesions near the cell
periphery undergo a transient retrograde displacement preceding elongation.
This retrograde movement was only seen in nascent adhesions, within 30–90
seconds after appearance and occurred in a majority of nascent adhesions observed
(65%, nFA=39, ncell=6). The magnitude of retrograde displacement was 0.67±0.33 μm
(nFA=39, ncell=6) and, once immobilized, a majority (77%, nFA=39, ncell=6) of adhesions
elongated proximally.
Transient frictional slip between integrin and the
ECM in focal adhesions under myosin-II tension
Aratyn-Schaus & Gardel. (2010). Curr Biol. 20: 1145
Results
Abstract
References
Section 2
References
� Always format your references: check the Instructions for Authors for the appropriate format
� Formatting is required for in-text citations and for your References section
� Use reference management software (RefWorks, Mendeley, EndNote, Zotero, Papers)
Formatting
References
In-text citations can be presented in several styles:
� The incidence of kidney disease in children has increased since 2005 (Suzuki et al., 2010)
� The incidence of kidney disease in children has increased since 2005 [1].
� The incidence of kidney disease in children has increased since 2005.1
� Suzuki et al. reported an increase in the incidence of kidney disease in children since 2005 (2010).
In-text style
References
There are many reference styles:
� Chicago, Vancouver, Harvard, APA
Journal title abbreviations are common
� Use Index Medicus list
Some journals limit the number of citations
� Check Instructions for Authors
Reference list style
Advances in Drug Research
Adv Drug Res
Advances in Drug Research
Adv Drug Res
Cover Letters
Section 3
Coverage and
Staffing Plan
Cover Letters
Dear Editor-in-Chief,
I am sending you our manuscript entitled “Techniques to detect circoviruses in
Japanese bird species” by Raye et al. We would like to have the manuscript
considered for publication in Virology Methods Online.
Please let me know of your decision at your earliest convenience.
Sincerely yours,
Warren Raye, PhD
� Competition for publication space and for
editors’ attention is very high
Cover letters
Coverage and
Staffing Plan
Cover Letters
Dear Dr Graeber,
Please find enclosed our manuscript entitled “Amyloid-like inclusions in the brains of Huntington’s disease patients”, by
McGowan et al., which we would like to submit for publication as a Research Paper in Neurogenetics.
Recent immunohistochemical studies have revealed the presence of neuronal inclusions containing an N-terminal portion of
the mutant huntingtin protein and ubiquitin in the brain tissues of Huntington’s disease (HD) patients; however, the role of
these inclusions in the disease process has remained unclear. One suspected disease-causing mechanism in Huntington’s
disease and other polyglutamine disorders is the potential for the mutant protein to undergo a conformational change to a
more stable anti-parallel β-sheet structure…
To confirm if the immunohistochemically observed huntingtin- and ubiquitin-containing inclusions display amyloid features, we
performed Congo red staining and both polarizing and confocal microscopy on post-mortem human brain tissues obtained
from five HD patients, two AD patients, and two normal controls. Congo red staining revealed a small number of amyloid-like
inclusions showing green birefringence by polarized microscopy, in a variety of cortical regions.... ….detected inclusions
observed in parallel sections, suggesting that only a relatively small proportion of inclusions in HD adopt an amyloid-like
structure.
We believe our findings would appeal to a broad audience, such as the readership of Neurogenetics. As a wide-reaching journal
publishing original research on all aspects of neuroscience…
Please address all correspondence to….
Give the
background to
the research
What was
done and what
was found
Interest to
journal’s readers
A good cover letter
Coverage and
Staffing Plan
Cover LettersGeneral rules
General rulesGeneral rules
Manuscript title/
Publication type
Manuscript title/
Publication type
Corresponding
author details
Corresponding
author details
Background,
rationale, results
Background,
rationale, results
Address editor
personally
Address editor
personally
Why are your
findings important?
Why are your
findings important?
Reviewer
recommendations
Reviewer
recommendations
Coverage and
Staffing Plan
Cover LettersGeneral rules
“Must-have”
statements
“Must-have”
statements
Not submitted
to other journals
Not submitted
to other journals
Source of
funding
Source of
funding
Authors agree on
paper/journal
Authors agree on
paper/journal
Original and
unpublished
Original and
unpublished
Conflicts of
interest
Conflicts of
interest
Authorship
contributions
Authorship
contributions
Coverage and
Staffing Plan
Cover Letters
“The following items are also required as part of the
manuscript submission process:…The names,
addresses, phone numbers, and e-mail addresses of
four or five potential independent reviewers…”
“When submitting a paper authors are requested to
suggest 6 international referees…”
Recommending reviewers
Coverage and
Staffing Plan
Cover LettersRecommending reviewers
� From your reading and references
� Networking
� Aim for younger and mid-level scientists
� Provide reasons for recommending or
excluding a reviewer
� Editors have the final decision on reviewer
choice
Peer Review
Section 4
Peer ReviewImproves your manuscript
�Few papers are accepted without revision
� Rejection and revision are integral to the peer review process
Acceptance
Minor
revision
Major
revision
Rejection
Peer ReviewImproves your manuscript
� Peer review is a positive process
� Improves science
� Recommend to get involved in the peer
review process
http://www.springer.com/authors/
journal+authors/peer-review-academy
Peer ReviewThe peer review process
Accept
EditorPeer
ReviewRevision
Reject
Might become
suitable
Major? Minor?
Peer ReviewDecision letter
Manuscript ID number
Reasons for revision
How to submit a revision
24-July-2012
Dear Dr. XXXXX
Manuscript ID WJS-07-5739: “Long-term outcomes following right-lobe living donor liver transplantation."
Your manuscript has been reviewed, and we cannot accept the manuscript as submitted. The reviewer
concerns are included at the bottom of this letter.
You can submit a revised manuscript that takes into consideration these comments. You will also need to
include a detailed commentary of the changes made. Please note that resubmitting your manuscript does not
guarantee eventual acceptance, and that your resubmission may be subject to re-review by the reviewers
before a decision is made.
To revise your manuscript, log into http://mc.manuscriptcentral.com/wjs and enter your Author Center, where
you will find your manuscript title listed under "Manuscripts with Decisions." Under "Actions," click on "Create
a Revision." Your manuscript number has been appended to denote a revision.
…
Peer Review
…You will be unable to make your revisions on the originally submitted version of the manuscript. Instead,
revise your manuscript using a word processing program and save it on your computer. Please also highlight
the changes to your manuscript within the document by using the track changes mode in MS Word or by using
bold or colored text. Once the revised manuscript is prepared, you can upload it and submit it through your
Author Center.
When submitting your revised manuscript, you will be able to respond to the comments made by the
reviewer(s) in the space provided. You can use this space to document any changes you make to the original
manuscript. In order to expedite the processing of the revised manuscript, please be as specific as possible in
your response to the reviewer(s).
IMPORTANT: Your original files are available to you when you upload your revised manuscript. Please delete
any redundant files before completing the submission.
Because we are trying to facilitate timely publication of manuscripts submitted to the Surgical Endoscopy, your
revised manuscript should be uploaded as soon as possible. If it is not possible for you to submit your revision
in a reasonable amount of time, we may have to consider your paper as a new submission.
Once again, thank you for submitting your manuscript to Surgical Endoscopy and I look forward to receiving
your revision.
Decision letter
Procedure for responding
Due date for resubmission
Peer Review
� Politely respond to all the referee’s
comments in a response letter
� Make it easy to see the changes
� Refer to line and page numbers
� Different color font
� Highlight the text
Revision
Peer Review
� Conduct additional experiments and
analyses as suggested
� If this is impossible, you must explain
why
� You can disagree with reviewers, but
provide evidence (cite references)
Revision
Peer ReviewWriting a response letter
Address editor personally
Manuscript ID number
Thank reviewers
Highlight major changes
John G. Hunter
Editor-in-Chief
World Journal of Surgery
16 August 2012
Dear Dr. Hunter,
Re: Resubmission of manuscript reference No. WJS-07-5739
Please find attached a revised version of our manuscript originally entitled “Long-term outcomes following right-
lobe living donor liver transplantation,” which we would like to resubmit for consideration for publication in World
Journal of Surgery.
The reviewer’s comments were highly insightful and enabled us to greatly improve the quality of our manuscript. In
the following pages are our point-by-point responses to each of the comments.
Revisions in the manuscript are shown as underlined text. In accordance with the first comment, the title has been
revised and the entire manuscript has undergone substantial English editing.
We hope that the revisions in the manuscript and our accompanying responses will be sufficient to make our
manuscript suitable for publication in World Journal of Surgery.
Peer ReviewPoint by point response
Reviewer comment 1: There are many typos
and complicated phrases. This manuscript
should be corrected by a native English speaker
before resubmission.
Response: Thank you for your comment. The
entire manuscript has undergone English editing
by a native speaker.
Peer Review
“The English needs to be improved”
“Your writing is difficult to understand”
� Grammar and spelling
� Long, complex sentences and paragraphs
� Gaps in the logic
� Poor manuscript organization
� Too much information
Understanding reviewer comments
Peer ReviewPoint by point response
Reviewer comment 2: This is an interesting
discussion providing valuable data examining
the long-term outcomes after living donor liver
transplantation.
Response: Thank you. We appreciate your kind
comment.
Peer ReviewPoint by point response
Reviewer comment 3: Some additional background on
the grafting technique used is required in the
Introduction. What are the advantages and
disadvantages of this technique?
Response: In accordance with your suggestion, we have
added a discussion on the advantages and
disadvantages of the grafting technique used in the
Introduction section of the revised manuscript (p4, lines
7–13).
Peer Review Incorporating your response
…The technique used for grafting the transplanted liver to
the recipient liver in this study is the conventional method
used at our institution, and in most living donor
transplantation procedures currently being conducted [15].
Right-lobe grafting is the preferred technique because it
offers a better position for surgery, has a decreased
chance of hepatic venous obstruction, and provides
greater hepatic mass than left-lobe grafting. However, this
technique can be difficult for surgeons to master and care
must be taken when choosing the appropriate plane of
transection to avoid graft congestion [16].
Peer Review
Reviewer comment 4: Of the techniques you describe, is
there a difference in outcomes between their use in young
patients vs older patients?
Response: Because only a small number of surgeries using
either technique have been performed to date, it is not yet
clear whether there is a difference in preferred technique
based on the age of the patient. However, we have outlined
our reasons why we consider right-lobe grafting to be
superior for all ages in the Discussion section of the revised
manuscript (p11, lines 12–21).
Point by point response
Peer Review Incorporating your response
…As explained above, we chose to examine the long-term
outcomes using right-lobe grafting as it provides many
anatomical advantages when performing the transplant.
Because of the small number of surgeries performed
worldwide to date, it is not yet clear whether right-or left-
lobe grafting has a particular advantage based on the age
of the patient. However, based on the long-term outcome
results shown here, we consider that there is strong
support for the primary use of right-lobe grafting in live
donor liver transplantation for patients of all ages.
Peer Review
“The authors hypothesized to look for the pharmacokinetics of
the insulin using this 4 mm needle; However they didn't do
bioequivalence analyses for glucose pharmacodynamics. That
is one of my concerns about this methodology.”
� Questions from reviewers may not always be
apparent
� Cosmetic changes
“Hidden” questions
Coverage and
Staffing Plan
Final Steps
� Second round of review
What happens next?
Acceptance!
Editor assigned:
peer review or
acceptance
Manuscript
re-submitted
Reviewers
evaluate: accept,
reject or revise
Manuscript
sent to original
reviewers
Additional
revisions
Coverage and
Staffing Plan
Final Steps
� Submission to publication, 3–24 months
What happens next?
Acceptance!
Editor assigned:
peer review or
acceptance
Manuscript
re-submitted
Reviewers
evaluate: accept,
reject or revise
Manuscript
sent to original
reviewers
Additional
revisions
Coverage and
Staffing Plan
Final Steps
� Clear, concise, accurate writing
� Compliance with Instructions for Authors
� References properly formatted
� Descriptive, stand-alone Abstract
� Cover letter
� Suggest peer reviewers
� Suggest potential editors
� Declare conflicts of interests
Checklist for acceptance
Any questions?
Thank you!
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Appendix
Structured abstracts
Why?
• Easy for authors to write
• Easy for readers to understand
• Good for computerized indexing
�Follow the IMRaD format:
Introduction, Methods, Results and Discussion
�CONSORT (Consolidated Standards of Reporting Trials) recommends structured abstracts for papers about randomized controlled trials (RCT)
Appendix Cover letters: useful set phrases
�Please find enclosed our manuscript entitled (title), which we would like to submit for publication as a (publication type) in (journal name).
�To our knowledge, this is the first report showing…
�We believe our findings would appeal to the readership of (journal name).
�Please address all correspondence to:
�We look forward to hearing from you at your earliest convenience.
Appendix Cover letters: useful set phrases
All cover letter should contain these sentences:
� We confirm that this manuscript has not been published elsewhere and is not under consideration by another journal.
� All authors have approved the manuscript and agree with submission to (journal name).
� The authors have no conflicts of interest to declare.
Or…briefly describe any conflicts of interest that exist