ei - f h sidhva

8/12/2019 EI - F H Sidhva

1/96

SUCCESS AT WORK(AND AT HOME)

through

EMOTIONAL

INTELLIGENCE

--- facilitation for L & T HAZIRA


2/96

Introduction and your

EXPECTATIONSfrom this

PROGRAM ?


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PAL

P - Purpose : Is to understand, how we can

achieve Success at Work(&in life)

throughEmotionalIntelligence.

A - Agenda : as detailed, next

L - Time : 9.00 am to 6.30 pm


4/96

AGENDA(Program Coverage)

What is the true measure of HumanIntelligence IQ or EI or., and why ?

What does success at work really depend

on ? Deriving the Emotional Competency (EC)

framework.

Understanding the EC framework ofPersonal and Social Competence andapplying it at work, for success.

Summarization and the future.


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What is the FEELING

uppermost in your mind,

when you start work in themorning??

YOUR FACE SHOWS !


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What is Emotion?Oxford Dictionary : Any agitation or disturbance of

mind,feeling,passion any vehement or excited mental stat

Daniel Goleman: A feeling & its distinctive thoughts,psychological & biological state & range of propensity to

act

ENJOYMENT- HAPPINESS, JOY, RELIEF, BLISS, PRIDE

LOVE - FRIENDLINESS, TRUST, KINDNESS, DEVOTION

SURPRISE - SHOCK, WONDER, ASTONISHMENT, AMAZEMENT

DISGUST - CONTEMPT, DISDAIN, SCORN, AVERSION

SHAME - GUILT, REMORSE, REGRET, HUMILIATION

ANGER - FURY, OUTRAGE, ANXIETY, HOSTILITY

SADNESS - GRIEF, SORROW, DEJECTION, SELF PITY

FEAR - ANXIETY, CONCERN, FRIGHT, TERROR, PANIC

Primary Family of Emotions


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EMOTIONS

RIPPLES FROM THE CORE OF EMOTION

ANGER

FEAR SHAME

ENJOYMENT

MOODS

GOOD

TEMPERAMENT

POSITIVE

NEUROTIC

DISORDERS

ANXIETY


8/96

WELCOME TO THE WORLD OF

QUOTIENTS

IQ

SQEQ

(Move over IQEQ & SQ are here to stay)


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The True Measure

Of

Human I ntel l igence

I S

Emotional I ntel l igence


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IQ (INTELLIGENCE QUOTIENT)

IN 1918 PSYCHOLOGIST DESIGNED TESTS FOR ARMY

RECRUITMENT FOR MEASUREMENT OF

INTELLIGENCE

IQ HAS BEEN AN OBSESSION IN the 20th CENTURY FOR

SORTING PEOPLE INTO DEGREES OF INTELLIGENCE.

HIGHER THE IQ MORE INTELLIGENT A PERSON!!

EMPHASIS IN IQ, IN SCHOOL AND COLLEGEADMISSION AND AT WORK.

RATIONAL, LOGICAL, SERIAL THINKING TO SOLVE

ALL PROBLEM

IQ GROWS FROM CHILDHOOD TO TEENS ONLY

MAN IS A RATIONAL ANIMAL


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IQ to EQ : the Paradigm Shift

Why are the most successful and high

achievers not those with higher IQ?

Why do persons with average grades

suddenly shine beyond expectations at

work, display talent, leadership and get

along well with people ?

IQ and the Unsolved Questions ???

colony


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The Unanswered Questions

Evidently there is something more required than justIQ in order to achieve success.

Over the years psychologists & analysts have come

forth with the following in addition to IQ forsuccess.

1. Character Ethics.

2. Personality Tests. 3. Soft skills.

4. Competencies.

But none of these were the answers for success.


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IQ to EQ : the Paradigm Shift

Character

CompetenceSoft Skills

Personality tests

EI

It was only in in 1995 that Daniel Goleman introduced

the path breaking concept of Emotional Intelligenceloosely referred to as Emotional Quotient.

EI encompassed all above and more.


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WHAT IS EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE ?

KNOWING OWN EMOTIONSMANAGING OWN EMOTIONS

SELF MOTIVATION

RECOGNISING OTHERS EMOTIONS

HANDLING RELATIONSHIPS

A Measure of Emotional Intelligence

is how well we handle ourselves & others !!


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EI (EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE)

EI & THE MARSH MALLOW TEST


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Emotional IntelligenceChildren who resisted Gratification : 25 years later

(in their late 20s)

Showed excellent self-control in the face ofdifficulties

More dependable and responsible.

Better able to develop close and genuine

relationships

More intellectually skilled.

SUCCESSFUL PEOPLE


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Emotional Intelligence

Were unable to delay gratification in pursuing their

goals, even after 25 years.

Displayed little tolerance and self control at work or

at home

Were less cognitively adept.

Were more easily distracted / less dependable /

frustrated.

Children who could not resist the Marshmallow:

* LONERS & LOSERS

-- were UNSUCCESSFUL PEOPLE


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SUCCESS

What Really Leads

To

AT WORK


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What Leads to

Success at Work 1 2 3 4


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What leads to success at work ?

1. IQ 4% 12%

2. Technical Expertise 6% 13%

3. Experience

4. EI 65% 90%

IQ gets you Selected, but EI gets you Promoted

Practical

Intelligence

MIN MAX


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FURTHER RESEARCH ON IQ

THEREFORE, THERE IS A WRONG EMPHASIS ON IQ IN

SCHOOLS & COLLEGES, FOR IQ DOES NOT FIGURE

HIGH W.R.T ACHIEVERS AT WORK

HARVARD GRADUATES (IN MEDICINE, LAW, TEACHING

& BUSINESS) HAD NEGATIVE CORRELATION BETWEEN

SCORES ACHIEVED ON JOINING COLLEGE AND

EVENTUAL CAREER SUCCESS

IN MBA & ENGINEERING COLLEGES WHERE

SELECTION FOCUS IS ON IQ, LEADERS EMERGED

ONLY FROM THOSE WHO POSSESSED HIGHER EI


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24/96

EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE (EI):

THE THIRD DIMENSION

Emotional incompetence can hinder apotential performer even with high IQ, and

technical competence (e.g. two MBAs, CEOof level 6)

EI is not fixed genetically. It can be largelylearnt and continues to be developed throughexperience


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Test Your

EmotionalIntelligence

Score


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ROLE PLAY


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ROLE - PLAY OBSERVATIONS

R l Pl Ob ti E i M G i d


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Role Play Observation Exercise - Mr. Govind (Subordinate)

BLOCK QUESTIONS FOR STUDENTSINDIVIDUAL

RESPONSE

RESPONSE OF

THE TEAM

1. Was Govind aware of his drawbacks inperformance?

2. Did he feel that his boss is unnecessarily

underrating him?

3. Is he aware of his aggressiveness when

pushed by Shop Personnel?

1. How was Govinds able to control his

Behavior ? Was he blunt, rude, egoistic?

2. Was he conscious in taking responsibility

for his Performance?

3. Was he flexible in understanding ShopProblems ?

1. Is Govind motivated to improve his

Performance ?

2. Do you think that Govind displays or does he

lack Initiative?

1

2

3

R l Pl Ob ti E i M G i d ( b di )


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RESPONSE

RESPONSE OF

THE TEAM

1. Is Govind aware of the feeling of Shop

personnel At the time of stock outs? Is he

understanding?

2. How is Govind on service orientation?

1. Do you feel that Govind is able to influence

his Boss and manage conflict?

2. Did Govind try to build bonds with peers or

shop personnel?

3. Is he a good team member?

4. Is he good at resolving conflicts?

5

4

Role Play Observation Exercise - Mr. Govind (Subordinate)Contd..


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RESPONSE

RESPONSE OF

THE TEAM

1. What do you feel about the level of awareness

of the problem with respect to Shukla?

2. Was Shukla able to accurately assess Govind

his performance, his feelings?

3. Was Shukla Self- Confident in dealing withGovind?

1. Did Shukla loose his cool while dealing with

Govind?

2. Was Shukla flexible in handling Govind?

3. Was Shukla open to any suggestions byGovind?

1. What was the level of achievement drive in

Shukla? (High /Low)

2. Was he optimistic in overcoming Shuklas

objectives/problems?

1

2

3

Role Play - Observation Exercise - Mr.Shukla (Boss)


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RESPONSE

RESPONSE OF

THE TEAM

1. Was the feedback provided to Govind on hisdrawbacks /areas of improvement by Shukla

adequate?

2. Did Shukla come up with any innovative ideas

for resolving the continuing issues?

3. Was any efforts made by Shukla to send Govind

for Training or creating environment in order to

help him out, Develop him?

1. Was Shukla able to influence Govind?

2. Was Shukla having sufficient leadership

qualities?

3. Was Shukla able to handle the conflict

efficiently?

4. Did Shukla try and build bonds with Govind?

5

4

Role Play - Observation Exercise - Mr.Shukla (Boss) Contd..


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The Emotional Competence Framework

Personal Competence

These competencies define

how we manage ourselves

Social Competence

These competencies determine

how we handle relationships

Self Awareness

Self Regulation

Motivation

Empathy

Social Skills

P l C t


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PersonalCompetence

SELF AWARENESSKnowing ones internal states, preferences,

resources and intuitions

MOTIVATIONEmotional

tendencies that

guides & facilitates

reaching goals

SELF REGULATIONManaging ones internal

states, impulses &

resources

Personal

Competence

- how we manage our selves

Personal Competence


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PersonalCompetence

SELF AWARENESS(Knowing ones internal states,preferences, resources and intuitions)

Emotional Awareness:

Accurate self assessment:

Self confidence:


Personal Competence


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PersonalCompetence

SELF AWARENESS

(Knowing ones internal states,preferences, resources and intuitions)

Emotional Awareness:Recognizing onesEmotions and their effects--(Samurai/Zen /Teachers Monitor: 150 beeps/min / E-illiterates / Lawyer /Physician / Bomsi): Remember..

Accurate self assessment:

Self confidence:



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Remember , our Feelings are

always with us,but

we are too seldom with them.

Personal Competence


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PersonalCompetence

SELF AWARENESS


Accurate Self Assessment: Knowing onesStrengths / Limits (Emotional)

Das / CEO ( Stars know themselves well ) Fear is strength / Fear is weakness ( Highway at Night /

man and the burglar )

Anger (motivation), Sadness (togetherness), Anxiety(creativity). It is sometimes right to feel angry, sadand anxious. They are not always disruptive feelings

Unlike the Mind the Heart finds it difficult to Lie!

Self confidence:


Anyone can become angry


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Anyone can become angrythat is easy. But to be angry with

the right person, to the rightdegree, at the right time, for the

right purpose , and in the rightwaythis is not easy.

ARISTOTLE

Personal Competence


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PersonalCompetence

SELF AWARENESS

(Knowing ones internal states, preferences,resources and intuitions)


Accurate self assessment: Self confidence: A strong sense of ones self

worth

Latin American Airline, Angela

ISO: QSM

Caution: dont sound negative



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SELF CONFIDENCE

No one can make me

feel inferior, without

my own consent .

E Roosevelt


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Self Awareness can be cul tivated through -

Solitary reflection and Introspection

Do nothing - reach the inner voice

Managing your career - taking a new look

Recognize that feelings and emotions affect ourperformance, therefore we ought to be aware of

it ( Shyam ).

Study shows that Women Achievers at Work sufferfrom relationships at Home. Why?

Stop drifting, come to terms with your emotions

the sooner the better - Alice in Wonderland.

SELF AWARENESS summarization


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Managing your career - taking a new lookcontd...

Spend time and listen to your inner self. (if

not happy with something, review & change)

Asking : Who am I ?, where am I going ? ,

what am I doing ? (The new CEO)

Be HAPPY at work and take career

decisions in harmony with your inner values.

SELF AWARENESS summarization

Personal Competence


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PersonalCompetence



MOTIVATIONEmotional

tendencies that


reaching goals


states, impulses &

resources

Personal

Competence



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Personal Competence


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PersonalCompetence

SELF REGULATION

Managing ones internal states, impulses &resources

Self control: (Boss firing at wrong time, one last theft)

Dont let the Aymagdala Hijack

Conscientiousness:

Adaptability:

Innovation:

Trustworthiness:



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SELF CONTROL

We cannot always control ,

what happens to us,

...but we can always

manage how we react to it.

Self control


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Summarizing Self Control: The first step in Self Control is to be aware of

your Emotions. Unless you are Aware you simply

cannot Self Control

To be Aware, you have to first Acknowledge and

feel your Emotions : dont deny, minimize or bottle it (heart rate)

dont justify your behavior by putting

emotional labels such as .. I have a Temper, soI naturally flare up, I am a Coward, so I dont

speak up in front of my boss

Try, listen and understand the feedback theEmotion is giving you

Self control


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Summarizing Self Control cont.

Most Emotions are an energy. They are at that

point of time, neither good nor bad, they are oursignals , our wake-up call (stimulus)

Each of the Signals are Unique. How we Respond

determines Success or Failure (blame others?) The important thing is to catch these signals early

in order to be Constructive or else they become

Destructive (favoritism at work) Therefore guide & channelize emotional energy

into appropriate / constructive response. (anger at

being passed over, for promotion)

SELF REGULATION

Self control


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So how does one go about? As a start, make

efforts to stay composed, positive andunflappable in trying moments (remember:

it doesnt help loosing your cool on the

contrary it makes matters worse) Bill Gates and the Asian Women

Policemen who stay cool, have least cases of

violence Child not studying in an important year

Take Personal responsibility at work incontrolling our own state of mind : just dont

let A hi ack

Self control

SELF REGULATION

Self control


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Learn to Manage impulsive feelings and

distressing emotions well:Work pressures responsible for more stress

and heart attacks (small triggers..travel,

absenteeism, bosses admonishing, specs..)People in control of emotions unfazed by

stress ( mmp)

Self control thro Time Management ( kvm )Some thrive on stress for Peak Performance

Stress reduction: hot bath, meditation, yoga,

Self control

Personal Competence


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PersonalCompetence

SELF REGULATION

Managing ones internal states, impulses &resources.

Self control:

Conscientiousness: ( responsible for personalperformance : mail boy)

Adaptability: ( Leader realized old company

lessons wont do, Intel chip to microprocessors;Japs, Bicycle)

Innovation: ( Levis Strauss, Swiss watches )

Trustworthiness : case study



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CASESTUDY(TRUSTWORTHINESS)

Personal Competence


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PersonalCompetence

SELF REGULATION

(Managing ones internal states, impulses &resources)

Self control :

Conscientiousness:

Adaptability :

Innovation :

Trustworthiness : case study, (and housing)


Personal Competence


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PersonalCompetence



MOTIVATIONEmotional

tendencies that


reaching goals


states, impulses &

resources

Personal

Competence



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P l C t


56/96

PersonalCompetence

MOTIVATIONEmotional tendencies that guides &

facilitates reaching goals

Achievement Drive ( Daughter like you )

Commitment (Goals : e.g. Gandhi, $ 19 glove)

Initiative ( Bill Gates- operating system ) Optimism ( From New York to Houston )

.Inventory


Social Competence


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p

Determine how we handle relationships.

Empathy

Awareness of others

feeling,needs &

concerns

Social Skills

Adeptness at inducing

desirable responses in

others

Social Competence

Social Competence


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EmpathyAwareness of others feeling, needs &concerns

Understanding others Developing others

Service Orientation

Leveraging Diversity

Political Awareness

- how we manage others

Social Competence

Social Competence


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Empathy

Awareness of others feeling, needs &concerns:

Understanding others: Breakfast, Iyengar, Gandhi,Galvin, downsizing, boss

Developing others : KJP : Coach / Mentor

Service Orientation : Medical stores, Taxi, Dog,Jagasia ( HR )

Leveraging Diversity

Political Awareness


Social Competence

EMPATHY


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Delighting the Customer

Bombay Taxi No. MRP 3676

Route : Dadar to Santacruz

Driver : Mr. Rajendra

Owner : Mr. S.R. Rao.

SERVICE ORIENTATION....cont.

Cigarettes/match box on the house

Newspapers

Thoughts pad & pen Telephone directory

Railway & Airline time tables

Suggestion/complaint book.

Tape recorder at your control.

First aid box

Postage stamps

Stationary

Calendar

Watch

SERVICE ORIENTATION....cont. EMPATHY


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Service with a Smile

A man wrote a letter to a small hotel in a mid-west townplanned to visit on his vacation. He wrote:

I would like to bring my dog with me. He is well-groomed and very well behaved. Would you bewilling to permit me to keep him in my room with meat night ?

An immediate reply came from the hotel owner :Ive been operating this hotel for many years. In allthat time, Ive never had a dog steal towels, bedclothes or silverware or pictures off the walls. Ive

never had to evict a dog in the middle of the night forbeing drunk and disorderly. Ive never had a dog runout on a hotel bill.

Yes, indeed, your dog is welcome at my hotel. And, ifyour dog will vouch for you, youre welcome to stay

here, too.

Social Competence


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Empathy

Awareness of others feelings, needs &concerns

Understanding others:

Developing others :

Service orientation :

Leveraging diversity :Understanding & managing

diverse talent (jobs, nmk )

Political Awareness : Contract working, Palande,VP in China criticizes

Clinton, Pai and nephew.

p- how we manage others

Social Competence


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p

Determine how we handle relationships.

Empathy

Awareness of others

feeling,needs &

concerns

Social Skills

Adeptness at inducing

desirable responses in

others

Social Competence

Social Competence


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Social Skills

Adeptness at inducing desirable responses in others

Influence

Conflict management

Change catalyst

Building bonds

Collaboration & co-operation

Team capabilities

Communication Upwards:

Leadership


Social Competence


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Social Skills

Adeptness at inducing desirable responses in others Influence ( Rapport, then Persuasion: Cjf, Mergers,American in

Japan, Impression Mgmt, no buy-in, reasoning, dual stds, disparity)

Conflict management ( Handle difficult people & situations? )

Change catalyst ( IBM website, Orders:lower margins, GET )

Building bonds ( Govindan, Bank balance, best friend )

Collaboration & co-operation (Godrej and L&T )

Team capabilities ( Non of us are as smart Real Teams.)

Communication Upwards: CEO, E-Mail, Teleph, MBWA, Rsb,Baldev

Leadership ( Inspire, guide & motivate. )


SOCIAL SKILLS

CONFLICT MANAGEMENT


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- Negotiating and resolving disagreements

Handle difficult people and situations with diplomacy and tact

Do proper homework before starting.

Stay calm and be in control of your feelings

Show willingness to work things out rather than

escalate

Involve in talk, but in a neutral language rather than

in an argumentative or superior tone

Try ways to resolve dispute together

Handling difficult situations also require self

confidence, self control and empathy.

CONFLICT MANAGEMENT

Social Competence


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Social Skills



Conflict management ( Harlem boys )


Building bonds ( Govindan, Bank balance, Best friend )


Team capabilities ( Non of us are as smart Real Teams? )

Communication Upwards: CEO, E-Mail, Telephone, MBWA,Rbs, Baldev



SOCIAL SKILLS

TEAM CAPABILITIES


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TEAM CAPABILITIES

NONE OF US ARE AS SMART AS ALL OF US

Teams are everywhere in business

management teams, task forces, quality

circles, learning groups, self managed work

teams.

Real Teams Perform must have someimpact on the bottom line - in terms ofproductivity, cost, cycle time, effectiveness,efficiency.

- Creating Group Synergy in pursuing collective goals

SOCIAL SKILLS

TEAM CAPABILITIES td


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TEAM CAPABILITIES....contd.

What DRIVES TEAMS towards

Achievement

Work towards a common goal

Members love what they are doingtogether

Shared competition Strong Social bonds

Confidence in each others abilities SOCIAL SKILLS

TEAM CAPABILITIES contd


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Teams decisions sometimes present a PARADOX

Sr.Nos.

Decision PARADOX

1 More free wheeling andmore intense the debate

a better final result

Open conflict can erodeteam effort

2 Consensus achievedeasily may lead to lowquality decisions

Too much contentionresults in lack of unity

3 Argue heatedly provided

you end up with a strongconsensus

Arguments become

emotionally loaded. Qualityof decision suffer

Key lies in emotional competencies such as Self

Awareness, Empathy and Communication.

SOCIAL SKILLS

TEAM CAPABILITIES contd


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Ten most outstanding teams had these emotionalcompetencies, besides Organizational Awareness

Self Awareness of Strengths and Weakness

Self Confidence Initiative and Proactive stance

Empathy and Interpersonal Understanding Building Bonds

Open Communication

Social Competenceh h


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Social Skills



Conflict management ( Harlem boys )


Building bonds ( Govindan, Bank balance, best friend )


Team capabilities ( Non of us are as smart Real Teams.)

Communication Upwards: CEO, E-Mail, Teleph, MBWA, Rbs,Baldev




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#LEADERSHIP...cont.

You dont change culture to save the

Company, by wr iting memos. You have

got to appeal to peoples emotions. Theyhave to buy it with their hearts and bell ies,

and not just their hands.

SOCIAL SKILLS


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Leaders understand the ultimate power of

relationshipsWar or businessWhy ?

Because when everything is on line, whatreally matters are relationships that

leaders have created with their people.

LEADERSHIP....cont..

LEADERSHIP


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--inspiring,motivating guiding,Individuals & Groups

Enthusiasm for a shared vision andmission (Alice, Bear )

--sets organizations emotional tone,

--leaders change organizational culture--trust their intuition also

Step forward to lead, regardless of position

Build Relationships & guide performance,and hold people accountable, tough love

Leaders lead by example -walk your talk

Path to Future Success through


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g


Perform PDCA on your Emotional Intelligence

Constantly Review and upgrade your Personal

& Social Competencies (INVENTORY)

Show Commitment to your Self Contract

(particularly your disruptive feelings)

Periodically undertake EI / EQ Tests

Relive your Emotional Failures through Role

Plays


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MATCH THE FOLLOWING

S. No. STATEMENT ANSWER


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1

2

3

4

5

6

7

8

9

10

11

12

13

14

15

16

IQ and expertise help you do a job but ..determines outstanding

performanceEmotional Intelligence

Knowing one's internal states, preferences, resources and intuitions Self awareness

IQ scores are responsible for only of success at work 10%

The potential that can be translated into on job capabilities is .. Emotional competence

A feeling and its distinctive thoughts, psychological and biological state and

range of propensity to actEmotion

If I am able to leverage diversity, I am displaying the competency of

..Empathy

IQ gets you selected but EQ gets you . Promoted

Proof that EI leads to success Marshmallow Test

Adeptness at inducing desirable responses in others Social skills

Knowing your strengths and weaknesses Self assessment

None of us are as smart as we are as a .. Team

Logical, Rational, Serial thinking.. IQ

IQ grows uptoonly. Teens

One of the dimensions of EI is . Handling relationships

Minimum EI required for success at higher level is .. 90%

A person with high level of commitment & initiative has a high on

. Competency. Motivation


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SELF CONTRACT


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ROLE PLAY

ON

???


81/96

Path to Future Success through


82/96


Perform PDCA on your Emotional Intelligence

Constantly Review and upgrade your Personal

& Social Competencies (INVENTORY)

Show Commitment to your Self Contract

(particularly your disruptive feelings)

Periodically undertake EI / EQ Tests

Relive your Emotional Failures through Role

Plays SUMM RIZ TIONS ND LE RNINGS


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EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCEis the True

Measure of Human Intelligence- IQ & Practical

Intelligenceare very necessary, but are only

threshold requirements.

Success at work and in life depends in a largemeasure on our ability to KNOW and MANAGEour EMOTIONS - as well as those of OTHERS.

Future lies in picking up and honing our skills for

effectively using these Emotional Competencies for

bringing about excellence atwork and at home.


84/96

M st reading for EI


85/96

Must reading for EI


- Daniel Goleman

Working with Emotional Intelligence

- Daniel Goleman

Executive EQ Robert Cooper &

Ayman Sawaf


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Its never too late, to bewhat you m ight have been

-George Elio t


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88/96

WWW / WCI


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TEASERS

ENERGIZERS


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CRAZY

YOU

YOU ME

J

U

S

T

LE

VEL

TO

W

N

ESROH RIDINGN

ENERGIZERS

ENERGIZERS Cont..


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I Right I

O_ER_T_O_N

AG

EO

Ph.D.

M.A.

B.Sc.

STAND

I

Right = Right D West D

ENERGIZERS Cont..


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CONTRO

OPINIONOPINION

CILIFE TY

MAN

BOARD

OATH

UR

role role


93/96

Replace any 3 marblesto form

Family Planning Triangle

How to join these 10 Dots with 5 consecutive


94/96

straight lines without lifting the

pen or repeating lines


95/96

ROAD TO BOMBAY ?


96/96

PUNE

BOMBAY

ei - f h sidhva

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