everyone's a little bit racist

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- 47 -

CUE:

KATE: "You should be much more careful when you're talking about the sensitive subject of race."

KATE: "No, we don't want people like you."(GO ON)

EVERYONE'S A LITTLE BIT RACIST[Rev. 4/06]

[6/07]

5

Music and Lyrics byROBERT LOPEZ and

JEFF MARX

Orchestrated bySTEPHEN OREMUS

Avenue QPiano/Conductor

L06148-802-2003 2004-U-al-49-

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PRINCETON: "Not big judgments, like who to hire or who to buy a newspaper from."KATE: "No!"PRINCETON: "No, just little judgments, like thinking that Mexican busboys should learn to speak goddamn English!"

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PRINCETON: "All right, stop me if you've heard this one. This plane is going down and there's only one parachute, and there's a rabbi, a priest..."KATE: "...and a BLACK guy!"

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GARY: "Whatchoo talkin' about Kate?"KATE: "Uh---"GARY: "You were telling a BLACK joke!"PRINCETON: "Well, sure, Gary, but lots of people tell black jokes..."GARY: "I don't."(CUT-OFF) in the clear:PRINCETON: "Of course you don't.

You're BLACK! But you tell Polack jokes, right?"GARY: "Sure I do. Haha! Those stupid Polacks!"

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96 GARY: "Now there was a..."

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"...fine upstanding black man."PRINCETON: "Who?"GARY: "Jesus Christ!"KATE: "But Gary, Jesus was white!"GARY: "No, Jesus was black."KATE: "No, Jesus was white!"GARY: "I'm pretty sure Jesus was black!"

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BRIAN: "Hey, what are you guys laughing about?GARY: "Racism!"BRIAN: "Cool!"

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[CHRISTMAS EVE enters]CHRISTMAS EVE: "BLIAN! You come backee here! You take out lecycuraburs!"PRINCETON: "What's that mean?"BRIAN: "Ugh. Recyclables."(everyone laughs)CUT-OFF

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BRIAN: "Don't laugh at her! How many languages do you speak?"KATE: "Oh, come off it, Brian!"

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124 BRIAN: "I'm sorry honey. I love you."C.E.: "I ruv you."BRIAN: "But you're racist too."

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Fast Segue to "RACIST PLAYOFF"

161 la - cist!


- 59 -

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everyone's a little bit racist

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