fiivee faattal ffllaawwss diinn offiinndiinngg llovvee

14
Five Fatal Flaws in Finding Love © Copyright 2012 by Lindsay Kenny www.ProEFT.com Page 1 Five Fatal Flaws in Finding Love by Lindsay Kenny, EFT Master

Upload: others

Post on 18-Dec-2021

1 views

Category:

Documents


0 download

TRANSCRIPT

Five Fatal Flaws in Finding Love © Copyright 2012 by Lindsay Kenny www.ProEFT.com Page 1

FFiivvee FFaattaall FFllaawwss iinn FFiinnddiinngg LLoovvee

by Lindsay Kenny, EFT Master

Five Fatal Flaws in Finding Love © Copyright 2012 by Lindsay Kenny www.ProEFT.com Page 2

Five Fatal Flaws in Finding Love Lindsay Kenny, EFT Master

www.TapIn2Love.com This article is a part of our Tap In 2 Love™ series. In this segment we reveal the Five

Fatal Flaws in Finding Love. How you feel about your past partners has everything to do with how you will show up with future partners. Even when you find someone with whom you want to spend your life, it’s still only part of the equation. The two of you will form a relationship, a third factor in your “couple.” Your relationship needs to be nurtured like a child and decisions made for the sake of it, rather than for the individuals in the relationship. But that’s a whole other

matter. For now we’re going to the impediments to attracting your ideal life partner: the Five Fatal Flaws in Finding Love.

Fatal Flaw 1: Holding on to hurt, heartache, anger, resentment, disappointment or other adverse emotions from past relationships You can’t move forward until you clean up the past. We’ve all heard of emotional baggage and most people have experienced it. However, many people think that when the heartache is gone, so is the baggage. Unfortunately that’s not usually true. The trauma of a breakup can poison us with fear, contempt or bitterness and often compromise our physical health.

Even when you think you’re over someone, if you still harbor any anger, resentment or other negative feelings,

that’s enough to create an invisible barrier that can keep you from finding the love you seek.

Real Life Story (always with fictitious names): Bethany, an attractive, 35-year-old Real Estate broker, came to me because she was having a hard time finding the right man. It didn’t take long to discover that she was still holding on to a lot of anger toward her former fiancé, Michael. They had met at a party (to which he had come with another woman). Beth was smitten with Michael and they started their relationship that night. They had been going together for almost a year and were planning to get married when she found out about his affair with another woman. Understandably, Bethany was heartbroken. But, after much crying and talking, with apologies and promises made, she agreed to forgive Michael and continue the engagement. However, only a few weeks past their reconciliation she discovered that Michael had been with several other women during their

Five Fatal Flaws in Finding Love © Copyright 2012 by Lindsay Kenny www.ProEFT.com Page 3

relationship. To make things worse, he was still seeing one of them and had fathered a child with another one! Beth’s betrayal and hurt were deep, even after eight months. And her anger was still palatable. She didn’t think she could ever trust a man again…yet she was seeking one. I knew Beth would never be able to move on until she let go of her heartbreak and other emotions about Michael: resentment, grief, her broken heart, hatred and more. So we had a lot of tapping to do.

Fatal Flaw 1 Simple Solution: Tap away all negative feelings about past relationships or people: anger, resentment, hurt, grief, loss, sadness, betrayal, broken heartedness or anything else. This includes grief over a lost love of any kind. If you once had an ideal mate, but lost him/her…for whatever reason, then you need to heal that wound by tapping it away. Here’s how: Tap on the Karate Chop (KC*) saying, “Even though I have a ton of baggage (hatred, anger, distrust or whatever) from past relationships, I still love and accept myself.” On the Meridian Points* state the problem briefly, such as: “All of the anger I have toward men” “All of my hurt and disappointment about past relationships” “The piles of relationship baggage” “All of the heartache, pain and sadness, etc. etc…” “I want to release it now” “I allow myself to let it go” “I want to get over it and heal the wounds” Do this over and over, venting if necessary until you’re clear. Some people argue, “But I don’t know what to say!” But no one knows better than you how you feel about your past love relationships. So do two things: First, set your INTENTION to clear your past baggage. And secondly, say what you feel or felt then. Tap until you feel squeaky clean about your past.

The first thing Bethany and I did was perform a Reversal Neutralization by tapping on the Karate Chop (KC) point saying, “Even though I don’t want to let go of this anger and resentment toward Michael…I want to punish him with it….” We’ll explain more about this step later on.

Once we had tapped away the betrayal, hurt, shame, anger and so on, Beth had let go of the past with Michael, forgiven him and was now ready to attract her ideal life partner. After she had gone through the other steps of our program, Bethany was able to find her true love in less than six months.

Five Fatal Flaws in Finding Love © Copyright 2012 by Lindsay Kenny www.ProEFT.com Page 4

Fatal Flaw 2: Holding on to limiting beliefs and fears about love It’s important to learn from our experiences but it’s dangerous to make erroneous assumptions from them. If two men in a row cheat on you, you may make the leap that all men are cheaters. If a man is rejected by three attractive women in a row, he might assume that attractive women don’t like him or that pretty women are snobs. It’s fairly natural for people to make gross generalizations like that to protect themselves. It’s the way the subconscious keeps us safe from harm or rejection. The problem is that it doesn’t work. The limiting beliefs we form about love can often keep us from recognizing a potential mate that might be staring us right in the face.

Real Life Story #1: A client of mine, Samantha, had a firm belief that she would never find the ideal man. She also had a strong belief that “all the good men” were taken and that she was not attractive to men. Plus, she thought she was too old (she was 42). To her these were facts, not beliefs. Little did she know that one of her co-workers, “Ross,” had had a crush on her for months but, because Samantha was so closed to the possibility that there could be any “good men” out there who would find her attractive, she never once noticed Ross’s flirting and compliments. Only after some serious Belief Busting™ tapping did Samantha let go of her limiting beliefs and open her mind to other possibilities. Coincidently (or not), the very next day after we tapped away her limiting beliefs, Samantha noticed Ross’s overtures toward her for the first time. She realized he was pretty cute and had been there all along. Ross noticed her change in attitude toward him and took a chance in asking her out. During their first date he revealed that he’d been pursuing her for months and had almost given up. They continued to date, even after he was transferred to another office out of state. When they realized they couldn’t be apart, they got married in 2009. They are expecting their first child this year. Yay! It’s a good thing Samantha was willing to tap away her limiting beliefs. She indeed found a “good man.”And not the only one out there, I might add.

Here are some of the common beliefs about finding love:

Men can’t be trusted

All the good ones are taken

I only attract men/women I don’t like

The ones I like don’t like me

I seem to find only the losers

Five Fatal Flaws in Finding Love © Copyright 2012 by Lindsay Kenny www.ProEFT.com Page 5

Men only want one thing

Women only want successful men

Women are unpredictable

All men lie and cheat

Women don’t like sensitive men

Men are afraid of commitment

It hurts to be in love

I don’t really have time for a relationship

Women (or men) don’t like people like me

Finding the right person is just too hard!

I’m getting too old and set in my ways

Note: some beliefs are also fears and vice versa. It doesn’t matter. They are still impediments to finding someone who is right for you.

Here are some common fears:

I’ll never find someone who loves me again

I’m just going to get my heart broken again (so why bother?)

I’m afraid I’ll have to give up my friends if I get serious with someone

I’m terrified of living…or dying alone

I’m afraid of getting hurt again

I’m afraid I’ll find the right one and he/she won’t like me

I’m afraid he/she will cheat on me

I’m afraid of being rejected…broken-hearted…betrayed

Note: It doesn’t matter if the beliefs or are true or not or if the fears are realistic. If we believe them they become our reality (see Dr. Bruce Lipton’s ground-breaking book, The Biology of Belief). For instance, let’s say David has parents, siblings and other relatives that are all overweight. That part may be true. The limiting belief about that, however, is the leap in logic that, because his whole family has weight problems, he can’t lose weight. His belief provides a convenient excuse never to try; just as your beliefs about relationships keep you from thinking you’ll ever find true love. Here’s another example that allows you to see the difference in something that might be fact, and the erroneous belief that we might derive from it. Debbie got stood up by three men in one month. All were Australian. Those are facts. So Debbie then comes to the conclusion that Australian men are all insensitive and can’t be trusted. Is that true? I don’t think so! What about Hugh Jackson?

Real Life Story #2: Several years ago I wanted to fix up my friend Reba with a really great single dad named Stan. He was handsome, successful and a sweetheart. But Reba didn’t want a fix-up and was firmly entrenched in many of

Five Fatal Flaws in Finding Love © Copyright 2012 by Lindsay Kenny www.ProEFT.com Page 6

the above beliefs. She really felt there were no good men “out there” and, even if there was one… she’d never find him. So I arranged for Stan to secretly meet me at the super market to check Reba out. I sent her to pick out some cantaloupes and signaled for Stan to swoop in and ask her questions about how to tell if a cantaloupe was ripe. I told him to flirt a little and see what happens. He was very up for this experiment. So off he went to find Reba in the produce section. I could see from a distance that they were at least talking. After Reba returned to me with the cantaloupes in her in hand, I asked if she’d seen the hot guy in the produce section. She replied, “I didn’t see anyone over there.” She had actually talked to him, face-to-face for a couple of minutes and didn’t even "see" him. Her beliefs had actually made her “blind” to the possibilities staring her right in the face!

While you may not be that dense, it’s quite possible that if you have a serious belief about something it can keep you from seeing what’s right in front of you.

Fatal Flaw 2 Simple Solution: Tap away all

limiting beliefs and fears about finding your ideal partner.

It’s much easier than you can imagine. Here are the steps for our Belief Busting Technique™:

1. Write down all of your beliefs and fears about attracting a man or woman. Even if you know they are facts, write them down. Even if you don’t think they are hindering you, write them down. If you don’t think you have any, finish this sentence: I haven’t found my ideal partner because…. Whatever reasons you write down, regardless of your belief in their validity, those are your limiting beliefs about love. Then add this one to your list: “I just haven’t met the right one yet.” 2. Circle them and give them a measurement of the “strength or pull” they have on you. This is a different measurement from the intensity about anger or frustration or other emotions. What you’re measuring with beliefs and fears is the strength or pull they have on you. Or, how strong or true are they to you? 3. Perform a Reversal Neutralization to eliminate any subconscious resistance to letting go of your beliefs. Reversals are the way your subconscious keeps you safe. They keep you from getting hurt and keep you from failure or rejection. Beliefs and fears also give you an excuse for not having your life partner.

Five Fatal Flaws in Finding Love © Copyright 2012 by Lindsay Kenny www.ProEFT.com Page 7

Look at them as “limiting beliefs of the subconscious.” There will always be a part of you that doesn’t want to let go of the beliefs. To the subconscious mind, they serve a purpose.

While you may consciously want to be in love, your subconscious wants to keep you safe. Your subconscious resistance to change (the Reversal) is your internal protector and saboteur. And isn’t it doing a pretty good job? If Reversals are a new concept for you, please watch my free video about Reversal Neutralization (especially the SBS Reversal) at http://tinyurl.com/ProEFTReversals. Performing the Reversal Neutralization, a very simple tapping process, is important to do before attempting to reach any goal. Here’s a simple protocol: (Find a Tapping Chart, below*)

Tap on the KC point while saying, “Even though these fears and beliefs keep me from finding my ideal mate, there’s a part of me that doesn’t want to let go of them. And I accept myself anyway.” Or choose one or more of these phrases listed below. Tap on your phrase(s) at least two times. You can make them more applicable to your beliefs or fears. Just make sure you vocalize that there’s a part of you that does not want to let go of your beliefs about finding a life partner.

Other Examples: “Even though…

…there’s a part of me that doesn’t want to get over these fears, because they protect me, I still accept myself.” …I want to find my soul mate, there’s a part of me that doesn’t want to let go of these beliefs. After all, they keep me from getting hurt or being rejected, but I love and respect myself (or I want to love and respect myself.)” …these fears and beliefs keep me from finding love; I don’t want to release them. They do give me excuses for being alone. And I love myself anyway.”

Alternatively, use the catch-all phrase: “Even though a part of me really wants to hang on to my beliefs and fears, for whatever reason, conscious or not, I want to completely love and accept myself.”

Remember, having a Reversal is not a character flaw. It’s simply your subconscious resisting what you might consciously want. You may not even be aware of an impediment, nor do you need to know what it is. However, you can explore it, if you wish, by asking yourself, “What is the downside of me letting go of my beliefs and fears about finding love”? This will usually produce things to tap on in the Reversal, but again, isn’t necessary. Doing this neutralizes the subconscious resistance to letting go of your fears and beliefs (your protectors) and allows tapping to work more quickly and effectively.

Five Fatal Flaws in Finding Love © Copyright 2012 by Lindsay Kenny www.ProEFT.com Page 8

Remember this:

Performing Reversal Neutralization doesn’t fix the problem. It simply eliminates the impediment to fixing the problem.

Once you’ve cleared the Reversal, usually by just doing the above process, you then tap on the Meridian Points* using reminder phrases and alternating with desire phrases such as:

“These beliefs and fears that hold me back; I want to release them.” “The fears and beliefs that keep me safe; I want to let go of them.” “All of the obstacles that keep me from finding true love; I allow myself to neutralize them.”

Do several rounds of these phrases until the beliefs and fears are neutralized. NOTE: If you’re one of those people who don’t think you have any limiting beliefs, do this exercise: Get out a pen and paper (instead of doing it on your computer.) And finish this sentence honestly, “The real reasons I haven’t found my true love yet is because….” List all of the possibilities you can think of. Then see the key at the bottom of this article.

Fatal Flaw 3: Seeking someone based on shallow or physical characteristics

Many people choose their mates based on appearance: color of hair or eyes, body type, height or attractiveness. Some look for similar hobbies, interests, or other non-critical, often-changeable attributes. It’s what they consider their “type.”

There’s nothing wrong with wanting someone with whom you share common interests, or someone to whom you are attracted. But those shouldn’t be the main criteria when seeking lasting love. You wouldn’t buy a house would you, by how it looks from the street? Would you choose your career because the location is convenient to you or because the building was gorgeous? I hope not.

Often good looks, sexiness, wealth, or power will trump character, integrity, intelligence or dependability. Later, when the marriage or relationship is falling apart, people wonder why. I can’t stress how important it is for people to heavily weigh character traits rather than physical or changeable traits when choosing a life partner.

Five Fatal Flaws in Finding Love © Copyright 2012 by Lindsay Kenny www.ProEFT.com Page 9

What’s actually important for long-lasting, healthy relationships is being with someone with whom you are truly compatible…not identical. Someone whose inner attributes, like integrity or kindness, you truly admire. Here are the four elements that I believe are the most important in seeking your ideal life mate:

1) Compatible internal energy (the internal drive "speed” that regulates your drive in life)

2) Similar life values about children, finances, religion, ethics, family, and so on 3) Similar intelligence factors - this does not mean the same level of education but,

rather, someone who is your intellectual equal 4) Complimentary (not identical) behavioral traits

These four elements are usually stable and predictable throughout one’s life. On the other hand, your habits, physical appearance, opinions, interests, political views, likes and dislikes, health and financial status evolve as your life progresses. If you base your love or trust on a shifting characteristic, you are setting yourself up for hurt and disappointment further down the line.

Someone’s intelligence, core values, internal energy and intrinsic behavioral traits, however, tend to stay the same throughout life. The lack of true compatibility is one of the primary factors when relationships fail or cease to thrive.

Real Life Story: Pierre, a very attractive man, carried around a virtual picture in his head of his ideal woman. He wanted her to be tall, blonde, shapely and sexy. He gave me several celebrity lookalikes that matched his ideal. The problem, which seemed obvious, was that these physical traits alone were meaningless when it came to long-term, lasting, relationships. I asked if he cared about intelligence, integrity, personality and humor. He said “Sure, as long as she’s ‘hot’.” The short story is, Pierre found his "ideal" vision of a woman and married her within a few months. But the marriage lasted less than a year. Does that sound like any celebrity marriages you’ve heard of recently?

After that failure, Pierre was a bit more open to looking beyond surface characteristics and his beliefs that she had to be "hot."We isolated more meaningful characteristics which he could appreciate such as: honesty, loyalty, intelligence and a sense of humor. So we tapped away his beliefs that an attractive woman couldn’t also be smart and deep, nor someone to whom he was also attracted. He hadn’t realized that he could have both; good looks and depth.

By the way, shortly after changing his priorities, Pierre fell madly in love with Elizabeth, a short, dark, intelligent, kind-hearted woman who was perfect for him. Not at all his former “type”. She also happened to be beautiful and sexy, but those were not the elements Pierre fell in love with, but rather icing on the cake. Elizabeth was everything he really wanted in a wife and mother for his children, but in a different package than he’d envisioned. They have move in together and are very committed to each other.

Five Fatal Flaws in Finding Love © Copyright 2012 by Lindsay Kenny www.ProEFT.com Page 10

Fatal Flaw 3 Simple Solution: Seek someone with character traits that are

essential for you and someone with whom you are truly compatible.

Tapping phrase: “Even though I tend to look for a mate based on surface reasons I choose to expand my preferences to add depth. I deserve to have someone with solid, important characteristics. I choose to attract a mate with whom I am highly compatible.” More on this topic in the next two flaws. See more information on this subject in “Fatal Flaw 4” below.

Fatal Flaw 4: Focusing on what you don’t want in a life partner When I was a matchmaker, I would ask people what they wanted in an ideal partner. Inevitably, the response would be something like this, “I don’t want someone who’s afraid of commitment. I don’t want someone who smokes or drinks heavily. I don’t want someone who doesn’t like my children (or pets.) I don’t want someone who’s short, fat, bald, hairy, too tall, too short, too old, etc.” My next question would be, “What kind of person are you most often attracting?” Guess what their answer would be? That’s right, all of the things

they listed that they didn’t want!

Real Life Story: When I was single my deal-breaker list was based on my experiences, of what I wouldn’t tolerate in a mate. It included; he couldn’t be a smoker, couldn’t already be involved with someone else or someone who cheated on his women, couldn’t be 10 years or older than me. I also didn’t want someone with political views opposing to mine. Shortly after devising that brilliant list, I fell madly in love with a gorgeous man, who was a smoker, 11 years older than me, and who had several affairs with other women, while married to his wife. He was also at the opposite end of the political spectrum from me. Foolishly, I ignored these ‘deal-breakers’ because he was so handsome, so successful, wealthy, funny, sexy and charismatic. I ignored the very things I knew didn’t work for me! We lasted for two years but, boy, did he break my heart! I caught him with another woman when he had told me he was at home with a cold, so I surprised him with chicken soup. Aughhh! I shouldn’t have been surprised, given his track record, and given how I attracted exactly what I was focusing on: NOT having someone with his characteristics. It’s a lesson I never forgot and a mistake I see many people making; focusing and attracting what they don’t want.

Five Fatal Flaws in Finding Love © Copyright 2012 by Lindsay Kenny www.ProEFT.com Page 11

Fatal Flaw 4 Simple Solution: Stay focused on

qualities you do want, not what you don’t want.

Assignment:

1. Write down five essential characteristics in a life mate, such as; honesty, integrity, sense of humor, kindness, intelligence, compassion, caring, loving, open, etc. But limit it to only five.

2. Write down five “Deal Breakers” that is, characteristics or habits which you will not tolerate, such as; smoker, heavy drinker, grossly overweight, history of cheating, uncleanliness, sloppy, a financial disaster, a communist, or whatever.

3. Change the negative traits to positive ones. If a smoker or drinker is a deal breaker, then change it to “someone who honors his/her health.” If a deal breaker for you is someone who is slovenly about their home or personal hygiene, change that negative to “someone who is clean and neat in their appearance and environment.” If being grossly overweight or underweight is a serious issue for you, change it to “someone who is at a healthy weight for their height and age.”

Example: Remember to stay with positive phrasing: “I want to attract someone who wants a committed relationship.” “I want a life partner who is kind, caring and compassionate.” “I want to attract someone who is my equal intellectually and energetically.” “I allow myself to attract a man/woman who is open to new things and who is accepting of my beliefs.” “I choose to attract someone who fulfills my needs.”

Fatal Flaw 5: Pretending to be someone you’re not.

It’s a slippery slope indeed, if you portray yourself as someone other than who you truly are. For one, it’s dishonest. But even bigger is the problem that others may “fall in love” with the image you portray rather than the real you. The dangers in that are many: - You’ll likely feel uncomfortable that you’re being inauthentic.

- It takes a lot of energy and focus to pretend to be being something you’re not. - When you eventually relax and show your true self, the other person may feel duped and may not like the real you. - You wonder why he or she stopped caring about you and he or she is wondering why you “changed,” when in fact you just relaxed and adjusted back to being yourself.

Five Fatal Flaws in Finding Love © Copyright 2012 by Lindsay Kenny www.ProEFT.com Page 12

It’s not that there is anything wrong with you as your authentic self. It’s just the other person may have fallen in love (or like) with your persona, not YOU. But in fact they were simply attracted to the "projected" you, not the real you. When you are finally rejected (and you’re likely to be), it will reinforce your belief that people don’t like you for who you really are. Therefore you form a belief that you need to pretend to be someone else, further perpetuating the problem. It’s not only disingenuous of you, but unfair to someone else if you allow them to build their attachment to you on false premises. You are not only likely to hurt and disappoint them, but also likely to hurt yourself as well. It’s really a “lose-lose” situation.

Real Life Story: Daniel, owner of a deli, was a down-to-earth, sweet and humble man. He had been hurt deeply by his last three girlfriends who all left him for someone he considered “better” or worldlier than he was. He made that assumption, but it wasn’t necessarily true. Besides being broken-hearted with each loss, he felt diminished, rejected and humiliated. The next woman Daniel was attracted to, Sara, was sweet, kind and genuine. She seemed to like Daniel but, on their first date, he felt the need to pretend he was a big shot. He threw around money he couldn’t afford and exaggerated stories about his exploits and business dealings. He made himself out to be sophisticated to impress her but; in fact, it turned her away from him. She wanted a down-to-earth, humble, working guy…who, ironically, was exactly who Daniel really was.

Fatal Flaw 5 Simple Solution: Be yourself. If someone loves you for who you really are it’s very comforting and fulfilling. If he or she doesn’t like your authentic self, then he or she wasn’t right for you anyway. Do you really want to be with someone who doesn’t like your authenticity? Of course not. You want to attract someone who genuinely admires your traits, qualities and characteristics. It’s worth the effort to find someone who really appreciates you as you are. To do otherwise compromises your principles. Pretending to be someone else can only lead to heartache and disappointment.

Real Life Story: When I was single for many years during the 70s and 80s, I started believing that men were intimidated by me. I often beat them at tennis or made more money than they did or outwitted them in games (I wasn’t that good, they were just worse). So I started believing that I needed to "tone it down." My friends even suggested that I do that. I was “too funny,” “too assertive,” “too confident” or whatever. Well, what man was going to like that?! So I pretended to be quiet and shy, which wasn’t easy for me. I let men beat me at tennis in matches I could have won easily. I played down my success and pretended to be

Five Fatal Flaws in Finding Love © Copyright 2012 by Lindsay Kenny www.ProEFT.com Page 13

a bit helpless. Imagine me with the back of my hand to my forehead saying, “Oh

Reginald dear, can you please help me untangle my phone cord?” Oh ewwww! Needless to say, it didn’t work for me and I was unhappier than ever.

It was only when I started counseling others in their relationships (when I started my matchmaking business) that I realized how critical it was to be authentic. If someone liked who I was NOT, then they weren’t right for me. How simple that was. So I went back to being my silly but normal self. I attracted a man who loved me for what I was. That was Jack Kenny, to whom I’ve been married since 1988. There was nothing wrong with me after all (well, some things). It’s just that I was picking the wrong men to date.

Tapping issues: What is it about you that makes you think others won’t like you? Is it a habit or behavior that even you would like to change; smoking, drinking too much, being messy or always being late? Then consider improving those things about yourself. They aren’t your character traits, nor are they who you are. They are only your behaviors or habits. So please don’t mistake “being authentic” with, “I may be an inconsiderate jerk who’s always late, but hey, that’s just who I am.” This isn’t as excuse for you to justify bad behavior. It’s an opportunity to make corrections in habits or behaviors that you know don’t work for you or others.

Assignment: Write down how you would like to be or things upon which you would like to improve. For instance:

Always being late

Forgetting to write thank you notes or pick up the check half the time

Talking on my cell phone or texting when at the dinner table or elsewhere with others

Waiting for someone to call you or make plans, instead of taking the initiative yourself

Taking your friends for granted

Borrowing money you seldom repay

Taking advantage of other’s kindness or generosity

Not bathing frequently (ewww!) Here’s how you would tap on improving these behaviors: Start on your Karate Chop Point and say: “Even though …I’m a bit sloppy and messy, I love myself anyway and I want to be neat and orderly.” …I drink too much, I want to accept myself completely and I commit to limiting myself to one-two drinks per night.” (After two drinks you’ll lose inhibitions and may not be able to stop.) … I tend to interrupt people when they are talking, I allow myself to be aware of others and make sure they are finished speaking before adding my thoughts. And I love myself for having the willingness to do that.”

Five Fatal Flaws in Finding Love © Copyright 2012 by Lindsay Kenny www.ProEFT.com Page 14

… I’m seldom on time and often break commitments to others, I forgive myself and choose to be on time or early and to keep all of my commitments.” While rectifying these Five Fatal Flaws doesn’t guarantee that you’ll find your soul mate, making the suggested corrections will get you much closer to what you want and deserve. Without dealing with these obstacles however, the odds of you finding the right person for you are greatly diminished. Remember, the only way to truly fail in seeking your ideal life partner, is to give up. As long as you keep looking you’re still in the game! Good Luck and Good Tapping,

Lindsay Kenny *Key to Fatal Flaw 2 Assignment: “The reasons I haven’t found my true love yet is because…” Read your answers now. These are the reasons you belief you can’t find true love. So change the question to read “These are the limiting beliefs, fears are excuses for why I haven’t found my true love.” If you answered “I just haven’t found the right one yet” or, “I live in a rural area and there aren’t any desirable single people here” or “My standards are just too high”, then your limiting beliefs are at the top with everyone else’s. But they are only beliefs not truths! If you listed other reasons, and I’m guessing you did, they may be legitimate too. That is, they are fears, excuses or limiting beliefs. Remember, your beliefs may be facts. But it’s the inference you make about the facts that are often incorrect. Such as, “I live in a small town (may be true.) Therefore there’s no one out there I like (false.) Your belief is there has to be someone in your own town to find love? I don’t think so! Many of us would still be single if that were true. So tap away any beliefs you have about finding love!

Tapping Chart for Meridian Points