How to revise your sentences so that readers can understand clearly.

碩一經 林烜立 碩一政 莊博鈞碩一經 林烜立 碩一政 莊博鈞

碩一政 楊中天 碩一政 吳碩宸碩一政 楊中天 碩一政 吳碩宸

“Too Academic”: more difficult than it has to be.

A Misunderstanding of new researchers: “more complex sentence means higher value”

17.2.1 Distinguishing Impressions from Their Causes

17.2.2 Subjects and Characters

3a. If rain forests are stripped to serve short-term economic interests, the earth’s biosphere may be damaged.

3b. The stripping of rain forests in the service of short-term economic interests could result in damage to the earth’s biosphere.

3a. If rain forests are stripped to serve short-term economic interests, the earth’s biosphere may be damaged.

3b. The stripping of rain forests in the service of short-term economic interests could result in damage to the earth’s biosphere.

Underline the first 6~7 words

Perform two tests:

1. Are the subjects concrete characters, not

abstractions?

2. Are the verbs specific or general?

If the sentence fails to pass the test, you should revise it in these ways:

Find the characters you want to tell a story about.

If the actions of the characters are in nouns, change them in to verbs.

Create clauses with your main characters and their actions.

A character can be any concrete or abstract subjects.

Don’t surround key abstraction with other abstract nouns.

3c.If developers strip rain forests to serve short-term economic interests, they may damage the earth’s biosphere.

3d. If loggers strip rain forests to serve short-term economic interests, they may damage the earth’s biosphere.

3e.If Brazil strips rain forests to serve short-term economic interests, it may damage the earth’s biosphere.

In what way can we make our readers follow and understand our sentences more easier?

Let they can begin each sentence with a character / idea that is familiar to them

It is because it was already mentioned or it comes from the context.

17.3 A Third Principle: Old before New 17.3 A Third Principle: Old before New

To diagnose:

To revise:

Underline the first six or seven words of every sentence.

Have you underlined words that your readers will find familiar and easy to understand?

If not, revise.

Make the first six or seven words refer to Familiar Information.

Put at the ends of sentences information that your readers will find unpredictable or complex and therefore harder to understand.

17.3 A Third Principle: Old before 17.3 A Third Principle: Old before NewNew

Some of the clearer sentences have Passive Verbs, and it`s different from the way we use in general writing.

In order to make your research easy to be accepted and understood, you have to make your sentences easy to understand.

17.4 Choosing Between Active and Passive 17.4 Choosing Between Active and Passive

Do your sentences begin with Familiar Information?

The Passive can move the older, more Familiar Information from the end of its sentences to its beginning.

The main function of the Passive: to build sentences that begin with older information.

You can anticipate the principle for ending sentences:

If Familiar Information goes first, the newest, most complex information goes last.

EX: ….Familiar Information, …complex

information .

17.5 A final principle: Complexity Last 17.5 A final principle: Complexity Last

This principle is particularly important in 3 contexts:

a new technical term a unit of information (long and complex) a concept (to develop in the following)

……the most important one is ASEAN. Indonesia, Malaysia, the Philippines, Singapore and Thailand formed ASEAN. The Association was trying to…..

……the most important one is ASEAN. ASEAN was formed by Indonesia, Malaysia, the Philippines, Singapore and Thailand. The Association was trying to…..

….is nuclear power plant. The earthquake can damage nuclear power plant, and nuclear power plant may have the problem of……

  ….is nuclear power plant. The nuclear pow

er plant damaged by earthquake can result in the problem of…….