We  hope  that  you  enjoy  our  first  ever  

electronic  version  of  Herd  the  Werd!  

!

It was Thursday night, Liz and Stuart went over to a friend’s party. Although Liz really wanted to go to spend more time with her partner Stuart, Stuart was anxious about his midterm the next day and wasn’t planning to stay for long. Liz was showing him a lot of affection at the party in hopes to get him in the romantic mood, however, Stuart was not used to P.D.A. and did not understand her advances. When they had gone back home, Stuart was trying to leave Liz’s room, but she did not want him to go. Liz asked Stuart to stay and told him that she missed being with him intimately. Stuart needed to get to bed for his midterm but felt guilty about leaving. They ended up having sex. Afterwards, things got weird and Stuart left the room with a brief goodnight.

What is your first reaction to

that story?

!

Your Relationship: The Keys to Success!

By!the!Wellness!Center!SAFE!committee!!

!2!

!

Do you feel uneasy, confused or “that this has happened all too many times before”? In the story above, Liz and Stuart represent a couple in an

unhealthy relationship. Each person had their own idea of how the night

would play out and forgot to communicate this to their partner- assuming the other would read their mind! The problem with this approach is that it is

based on miscommunication and someone will always end up feeling hurt.

In this story, Stuart felt coerced into having sex because of a feeling of guilt. And while Liz did not have the intention of hurting Stuart, by not asking

about his thoughts and feeling surrounding sex, she forced him to do

something he didn’t feel comfortable with.

This situation could have been completely avoided if Stuart and Liz had followed the four basic components of a healthy relationship

!

1. Respect: This means that you understand your partner’s values and opinions and are always willing to listen and learn. !

4. Communication: This includes both listening and speaking. Through clear, direct speaking, your partner will understand what you really mean. Something to consider is the phrase: “say what you mean and mean what you say”

3. Trust: when you are honest with your partner, this sense of mutual bonding will develop over time. Warning! It is gained gradually over time but can be lost with even one poor decision. !

2. Honesty: No matter how long you have been in a relationship for, whether it is three days or three years, you need to be genuine with the other person. It is only when we discuss our desires and feelings openly that we can truly learn about each other. !

!

!3!

!

Another note to consider when sex is

involved is to discuss your sexual

intentions, beliefs, values and needs

prior to developing your relationship

further. Sex should be mutually

agreed upon and never done out of

guilt. Respecting the other’s decision

and never compromising your values

on this issue will only strengthen your

bond and help you to become better

individuals.

Everyone deserves to be in a healthy,

happy relationship. If you would like to

learn more about this or have any

questions, feel free to visit the Wellness

Centre and speak with one of our peers.

The Wellness Centre is located on the

second floor of the J.T. Powell building

and is open from 8:30 a.m. to 4:30 p.m.

!4!

How you can be a hot mess too!!By#Steve#Kavaratzis#

!Whatever#you#have#been#told#about#hot#yoga#is#probably#inaccurate#because#this#friend#who#has#warned#you#about#it#probably#went#to#a#few#classes#and#bailed.#Seeing#that#February#is#month#two#of#this#post#2013#world,#what#better#way#to#live#the#life#of#your#dreams#than#becoming#the#best#you#you#can#be?#I#can't#promise#it's#going#to#be#easy,#but#it#does#certainly#get#easier,#and#it#most#certainly#pays#off!#That#being#said,#it#is#very#easy#to#screw#up#hot#yoga,#get#discouraged,#or#give#up.#But#I#am#here#to#help#you#through#it,#by#providing#you#with#ten#simple#do's#and#don't's#that#will#help#you#achieve#that#hot,#sweaty#body#of#your#dreams.##

1. Do hydrate. You often sweat bucket loads as a hot yoga class will range from 40-50 degrees Celsius. That being said, there is a such thing as over-hydration. If you drink too much water before your class, you often flush your body of the quintessential electrolytes your body will need to survive those 90 minutes. Generally 1 -2 L. is a safe bet. But this must be drank throughout the day, chugging it before class will only make you feel bloated and you'll probably puke!

2. Don't puke!

3. Don't wear baggy clothing. Body parts will only get caught, they'll get super

soaked and heavy, and you'll just be a hot mess...and not the good kind. 4. Do bring an extra towel and a bottle of water in class. Don't wipe till after

the class as sweat cools your body down, and don't drink in between between reps, only in between postures. You will need a yoga towel to cover your Matt, as well as an extra towel for after the class.!

!!!!

5. Don't eat before class. Give yourself 1-2 hours before your yoga class for a meal, and nothing heavy. I went for all you can eat ribs 2 hours before a class once and puked in my mouth during the class. Yum.

6. Do go with friends. They will keep you

motivated to keep going! However, try your best to keep quiet and focus together, as you will get shushed! The ninety minutes are silent! I recommend developing a code using winks and subtle gestures.

7. Don't over do it! The heat really loosens your muscles and there is such a thing as over-stretching, over extending, or pushing your body past its limits. Testing them is ok, but there is a huge difference between stretching sensation and pain.

8. Do bring disinfectant wipes. They are great for wiping down your matt after the class is over. Throwing your matt in the wash will only wreck it!

9. Don't breathe through your mouth. It sends a panic signal to your body,

breath in and out through the nose as it slows the heart rate and provides more oxygen to your lungs.

10. Do stick around in the room after the class is over. Leaving straight

away doesn't give your body the time it needs to get the full benefit of the heat, exercise, and so forth.

11. Don't give up. Simple. With every commitment to heading to class you

make, you will feel the difference inside and out! Hot yoga builds a strong heart, mind, body, and soul. And if it can make a believer out of me it can make a believer out of anyone!

Really, what's stopping you? The only thing you have to loose is sweat!

!

EVENTS Looking for something to do this Valentine’s Weekend? Here are a

few events that might catch your interest:

Guelph Haunted Walk – Valentine’s Day 2013

Looking for something different? Take a walk around the city’s

downtown core and explore its chilling past. The tour takes 45

minutes to 1 hour and leave promptly from

Guelph Train Station. The tour is cash only and request that you

make reservations in advance. You can make a reservation at

guelphhauntedwalk@yahoo.ca. Admission is $10 for adults and $8

for students.

Guelph Storm vs. Owen Sound Attack

Come down to Sleeman Centre and cheer on your Guelph OHL

team! You can buy tickets online, at the box office, or by phone at

519-837-9690. Admission is $22.50 for adults and $19.50 for

students.

Valentine’s Day at The Bookshelf

Looking for a classic date idea? Start with a romantic dinner in the

Green Room, followed by a screening of Casablanca at the Bookshelf

Cinema. Admission for dinner and a movie is $20 for members and

$23 for non-members. You can also catch Casablanca on February

13th.

BY COLIN MACPHERSON

WHAT’S GOING ON IN GUELPH

DATE & TIME

Guelph Haunted Walk:

Shake..Shiver..Cuddle

Feb 13 – 7pm

Feb 14 – 7pm & 8:30pm

Feb 15 – 9:15pm

Feb 16 – 7pm & 8:30pm

Guelph Storm vs. Owen

Sound Attack

Feb 15 – 7:30pm

Valentine’s Day at The

Bookshelf – Dinner and

a Movie

Casablanca – 6:30pm

2013 ! P O P C U L T U R E / T R E N D S! EMILY LIIM

No one wants to end up like Gretchen, here are a couple of gift ideas for you that won’t break the bank and make

your significant other smile.

1. Try baking them cupcakes instead of the usual box of chocolates!

2. Buy a romantic comedy and have a movie date with Valentine snacks to share.

3. Don’t have a date but want to get something for your friend? How about these cool iPhone cases from Urban Outfitters?

4. Tight on cash these days? Buy a small notebook and write on each page all of the reasons why you love/like them!

5. Don’t have a Valentine, treat yourself!

Whether you are single, taken or it’s complicated, have a Happy Valentines’s Day!

Valentine’s Day Gift Ideas For You!

VALENTINE’S DAY CUPCAKES

VALENTINE’S DAY (THE MOVIE) IPHONE CASE (URBAN OUTFITTERS) NOTE BOOK (URBAN OUTFITTERS)

AND NONE FOR GRETCHEN WEINERS

2013! P O P C U L T U R E / T R E N D S! EMILY LIM

TIE DYE SHORTS LACE T-SHIRT STUDDED JEAN JACKET

REVAMP YOUR OLD CLOTHING

A problem that I’m sure many suffer from is the shopping addiction. It can be quite expensive at times especially for a student. The solution, resurrecting that old clothing of yours to make them new again and unique from any items you could just buy in the store. Here are a few ideas to get you started!

1. Tie Dye: It’s cheap to buy the dye, you can do it outside and pretty much do it to any of your clothing items!

2. Add Lace: Get an old T-Shirt and sew on a strip of lace that you can get from any craft store to add a little flair to that boring old shirt you once had.

3. Studs: Add some studs to an old jean jacket to give it a new look! They are easy to work with and you can also get those at any craft/fabric store.

4. Add fringe: Grab a pair of scissors and an old tank top or t-shirt and start chopping away at the bottom.

5. Patches: Sew on a patch to one of your old sweaters or jackets to spruce it up for the fall season!

If you don’t have any old clothing to try these things on, I would suggest going to your local Value Village to get some great deals on clothes to start experimenting with! With your updated wardrobe you will be the talk of the town! Good Luck!

FRINGED TANK TOP

ELBOW PATCH

Microwave Homemade Chocolates By: Anisa Shembitraku

Valentine’s Day is coming up and

who doesn’t enjoy chocolates. Instead of going out and buying some, why not make your own in the comfort of your residence. This recipe does not require an oven, all you need is a microwave.

This recipe is a delicious way to celebrate Valentine’s Day, whether you are sharing them with a significant other, friends, or eating all of them alone while watching sappy rom-coms and crying over the lack of your love life. Enjoy :) Microwave Homemade Chocolates Ingredients Needed: Milk powder - 1 cup Cocoa powder - 3 tsp Icing sugar - 1/2 cup Condensed milk - 2 tbsp Butter - 1 -2 tsp Cashew Almond powder - 1 tsp Milk - 1/4 cup

Image from: http://spoonful.com/recipes/windowpa

ne-hearts

Method to prepare: -Mix all the ingredients in a microwave safe bowl. Microwave for 4 minutes. Check after 2 minutes, stir and continue cooking. -Grease a plate with butter, once done, transfer to the plate and allow to cool. Make marks on the top so that it is easy to break into pieces.

2

Windowpane Hearts By: Kristen Mendonca

Need a change from your regular chocolate chip cookies for Valentine’s Day? Make these creative Windowpane Heart cookies for that special someone or even just your friends. Even though they may take a while to do, these unique cookies will sure to be enjoyed by everyone!

Ingredients: 1 cup unsalted butter, softened 3/4 cup sugar 1 large egg 1 teaspoon vanilla extract 1/3 teaspoon salt 2 1/2 cups flour Hard candy for cookie center (we used Jolly Ranchers)

Method:

4. To make the dough: Using an electric

mixer at medium-high speed, cream the butter, gradually adding the sugar. Beat in the egg until evenly mixed, then blend in the vanilla extract and salt.

5. With a wooden spoon, stir the flour into the creamed ingredients, about one third at a time, until evenly blended. The dough may seem soft, but it will firm up when refrigerated.

6. Divide the dough in half. Flatten each portion into a disk and seal in plastic wrap. Refrigerate overnight.

Image from: http://eatandgetmoving.wordpress.co

m/

1. To create the cookies: Heat the oven to 375 degrees. Cover a sturdy baking sheet with aluminum foil and lightly coat the foil with cooking spray. Between 2 sheets of waxed paper lightly dusted with flour, roll the dough to a 1/4-inch thickness. Remove the top sheet.

2. Cut out the cookies with a large cookie cutter. Use a spatula to transfer the shapes to the baking sheet, leaving about an inch between cookies. Remove the centers of the cookies with a smaller cookie cutter. (Save the centers to bake later.)

3. Place a hard candy (we used Jolly Ranchers) in the center of each heart and bake until the cookies start to brown lightly around the edges and the candy is melted, about 8 to 10 minutes. Let the cookies cool on the baking sheet for 5 minutes, then transfer them to wire racks to cool completely. To prevent sticking, line your serving plate or tin with waxed paper and place additional waxed paper between layers. Makes 30.

3

Valentine’s Day Smoothie By: Ryan Shoot

Have you ever noticed that a strawberry is heart-shaped? It's true! And when you slice one vertically, you can see the heart even more clearly. Also, they're red! How perfect for Valentine's Day!

A sliced, heart-shaped strawberry makes for a beautiful presentation on this super healthy smoothie. What a perfect way to start Valentine's Day. . . a serving of fruit, dairy, Omega-3 fatty acids, and of course, a little love!

Ingredients:

• 1 cup plain non-fat yogurt • 1/2 cup chopped banana • 1/2 cup fresh blueberries • 1 cup frozen strawberries • 1 teaspoon vanilla extract • 1 tablespoon flaxseed meal • 1 tablespoon honey 2 fresh strawberries

Method:

Serves 2

Total Prep Time: 5 minutes

Put everything into the blender and puree until smooth. Core the fresh strawberries, slice them vertically, and fan them out on top of each smoothie. ENJOY!

SAVE A CHILD’S HEART: CHARITY ROSE SALE Looking to buy a rose for that special someone this Valentine’s Day? Luckily, you don’t even have to leave campus! AEPi Guelph will be selling roses on February 14th all day in front of the cannon. All proceeds will be going to Save a Child’s Heart; a not for profit organization that provides life saving cardiac surgery for infants and children whose families can not afford them. Prices are as follows: Single rose: $5.00 ½ dozen (6 roses): $25.00 Dozen (12 roses): $45.00 Bring joy into more than just one heart this Valentine’s Day.

Small actions lead to BIG change Do you want to change the world and make a difference, but are not quite sure how to go about it? Did you ever think that you might be doing it already? Have you held a door open for a stranger today? Recycled? Smiled

at someone? Then you are definitely on the path to changing it! We Change the World is a movement that believes that small actions can lead to big change. The group is meeting this Wednesday, February 13th at 7:30pm in the CSA Boardroom to discuss their plans for the semester. Learn about the upcoming Guelph Everyday Heroes campaign that will be starting soon, and share the small things that you are doing to change the world.

It’s Love Week! IHC and RLS have many different events planned for this week to celebrate Valentine’s Day! Check out your Hall’s Facebook and Twitter pages to find out about more events happening this week (February 11th-15th).

UP

CO

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By N

icole Dalli !S

ave a Ch

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We C

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ove Week

By:  Josh  Muscat,  

DeeAnna  Rollins,  

and  Nicholas  Crabtree ARTS!

Are  you  into  checking  out  different  types  of  music?  Every  week  the  School  of  Fine  Arts  and  Music  hold  the  

Thursday’s  at  Noon  Concert  Series!  Be  sure  to  check  them  out!

February  14th—  Romance  on  the  Road  with  baritone  Benjamin  Covey

February  28th—  Con nental  Winds  with  Laurel  Swinden,  flute,  and  Stephanie  Mara,  piano

March  7th—  Free  Improvisa on  Meets  Electroacous c  Sound  with  Glen  Hall

Upcoming Events!

Single? Here’s some

Well,  it’s  Valen ne’s  season,  and  as  we  all  know,  this  is  the  season  that  couples  feel  the  need  to  show  off  their  rela onship  and  make  us  single  people  feel,  well,  not  so  great.  I’m  sure  that  you  even  no ced  all  of  the  events  going  on  across  campus,  all  based  on  Valen ne’s  and  you  probably  felt  really  le  out,  right?  Well,  here  are  some  ideas  that  you  and  your  friends  can  do  for  fun,  while  everyone  else  (or  so  it  seems)  is  doing  couply  things  with  their  significant  other.  

1) Make  “Single’s  Awareness  Day  (S.A.D.)”  cards,  instead  of  Valen ne’s  Day  cards,  and  give  them  to  all  of  your  friends!

2) Buy  chocolates  for  yourself  and  some  friends  and  watch  ANY  kind  of  movie,  other  than  romance.  ie.  horror,  comedy  thriller,  etc.  

3) Organize  a  ba le  of  the  sexes.  Round  of  large  group  of    single  friends,  and  play  a  boys  vs.  girls  game  of  bowling,  mini-pu ,  etc.  

4) Do  some  volunteering  at  a  local  soup  kitchen,  or  homeless  shelter,.  This  will  help  to  get  your  mind  off  of  the  fact  that  your  single  and  get  your  mind  into  the  mood  for  helping  others!

5) Make  a  date  with  a  group  of  friends  to  go  out  to  the  movies,  or  to  dinner.  Tis  way  you’re  not  alone!

ideas for you!

2

The Hollow By: Jamie Gauthier

The  hollow  tree,  is  simply  me. Growing  ever  more,  and  forever  more,  in  soul  and  body. But  within  me  these  termites  creep,  seeding  themselves  within  my  leaves. Leaving  me  hollow,  able  to  rot  from  the  inside. Have  the  water  sink  in,  drown  me  for  a  li le  bit, The  sun  dawns  to  weaken  the  bark,  allowing  for  a  sinister  nature  to  set  in And  to  be  acquit.

I  can't  move,  I  can't  speak,  only  my  leaves  fall,  I  become  weak. But  to  the  outside  I  stand  tall  and  proud,  but  I  suffer  silently. As  I  rot  myself  inside  out. The  fruit  I  bear  being  poisoned  too,  to  those  who  eat  it,  they  are  affected.  It's  cruel. Cruel  of  me,  to  not  seek  help,  to  sweat  and  suffer  yet  stay  composed  under  pressure.

I  feel  myself  rot,  I  allow  them  to  rot  too,  but  there's  not  a  leaf  moving,  nothing  I  can  do. Just  feel  the  wind  on  my  skin,  basking  in  the  freedom  I  allow  myself  to  forget Rooted  in  nature,  it  won't  feel  that  it's  wrong  yet. S ll  I  am  composed  rigid,  sinking  into  the  dirt I  s ll  won't  move,  though  it  hurts.

And  to  move  on  and  grow,  I  keep  destroying, To  admit  there's  a  flaw  would  be  the  cure  to  this  cause  -  a  cause  laid  upon  me  for  failing  these  flaws.

Casablanca  (1942)

One  of  the  most  beloved  American  films,  this  cap va ng  war me  adventure  of  romance  and  intrigue  from  director  Michael  Cur z  defies  standard  categoriza on.  Simply  put,  it   is  the  story  of  Rick  Blaine  (Humphrey  Bogart),  a  world-weary  ex-freedom  fighter  who  runs  a  nightclub  in  Casablanca  during  the  early   part   of   WWII.   Despite   pressure   from   the   local   authori es,   notably   the   cra y   Capt.   Renault  (Claude   Rains),   Rick's   Café   has   become   a   haven   for   refugees   looking   to   purchase   illicit   le ers of  transit   which   will   allow   them   to   escape   to   America.   One   day,   to   Rick's   great   surprise,   he   is  approached  by  the  famed  rebel  Victor  Laszlo  (Paul  Henreid)  and  his  wife,  Ilsa  (Ingrid  Bergman),  Rick's  true   love   who   deserted   him   when   the   Nazis   invaded   Paris.   She   s ll   wants   Victor   to   escape   to  America,  but  now  that  she's  renewed  her  love  for  Rick,  she  wants  to  stay  behind  in  Casablanca.  "You  must   do   the   thinking   for   both   of   us,"   she   says   to   Rick.   An   undisputed   masterpiece   and   perhaps  Hollywood's  quintessen al  statement  on  love  and  romance,  Casablanca  has  only  improved  with  age,  boas ng  career-defining  performances  from  Humphrey  Bogart  and  Ingrid  Bergman.  

Punch-Drunk  Love  (2002)

Adam  Sandler  and  Emily  Watson  star  in  Punch-Drunk  Love,  an  odd  roman c  comedy  from  gi ed  young  director  Paul  Thomas  Anderson.  Sandler  plays  Barry  Egan,  a  shy  sad-sack  with  a  great  deal  of  repressed  anger  that  occasionally  bursts  forth  in  sudden  violent  outrages,  who  falls  in  love  with  Lena  Leonard  (Emily  Watson),  a  co-worker  of  one  of  Barry's  seven  sisters.  A er  calling  a  phone-sex  line,  Barry  is  extorted  by  bad-guy  Dean  Trumbell  (Anderson  regular  Philip  Seymour  Hoffman),  who  eventually  sends four  goons  to  assault  Barry  and  get  the  money.  Odd,  touching,  and  unique,  Punch-Drunk  Love  is  deligh ully  funny,  u lizing  Adam  Sandler's  comic  persona  to  explore  the  life  of  a  lonely  guy  who  finds  love.

Valen ne’s  Day  (2010)  

Gary  Marshall's  ensemble  roman c  comedy  Valen ne's  Day  follows  nearly  two  dozen  people  as  they  find  and  lose  love  in  all  its  many  forms  over  the  course  of  the   tle  holiday.  The  numerous  characters  include  a  very  busy  florist  (Ashton  Kutcher)  and  his  schoolteacher  best  friend  (Jennifer  Garner).  She's  having  an  affair  with  a  married  doctor  (Patrick  Dempsey).  Meanwhile,  a  businessman  (Bradley  Cooper)  and  a  military  captain  (Julia  Roberts)  on  leave  share  a  long  conversa on  during  an interna onal  flight.  There's  also  an  elderly  couple  (Hector  Elizondo  and  Shirley  MacLaine)  who  are  caring  for  their  elementary  school-age  grandson,  who  is  pining  for  a  classmate  and  missing  his  mother.  The  huge  cast  also  includes  Jamie  Foxx  as  a  local  TV  personality,  Topher  Grace,  Queen  La fah,  and  Anne  Hathaway.

500  Days  of  Summer  (2009)

Joseph  Gordon-Levi  and  Zooey  Deschanel  star  in  director  Marc  Webb's  wry,  nonlinear  roman c  comedy  about  a  man  who  falls  head  over  heels  for  a  woman  who  doesn't  believe  in  love.  Tom  (Gordon-Levi )  is  an  aspiring  architect  who  currently  earns  his  living  as  a  gree ng  card  writer.  Upon  encountering  his  boss'  beau ful  new  secretary,  Summer  (Deschanel),  Tom  discovers  that  the  pair  have  plenty  in  common  despite  the  fact  that  she's  seemingly  out  of  his  league;  for  starters,  they  both  love  the Smiths,  and  they're  both  fans  of  surrealist  ar st  Magri e.  Before  long  Tom  is  smi en.  All  he  can  think  about  is  Summer.  Tom  believes  deeply  in  the  concept  of  soul  mates,  and  he's  finally  found  his.  Unfortunately  for  Tom,  Summer  sees  true  love  as  the  stuff  of  fairy  tales,  and  isn't  looking  for  romance.  A  clever,  o eat  roman c  comedy,  500  Days  of  Summer  is  refreshingly  honest  and  u erly  charming.

Valentine’s Day Movies!

4

See  the  ocean,  far  below See  the  water,  rows  and  rows. See  the  waves,  crashing  and  crashing,   Against  your  walls,  so  high  and  shining.

See  the  birds,  circling  so  high, See  the  clouds,  up  in  the  sky. See  the  fish  and  crabs,  down  far  below, And  see  the  weeds  and  plants,  swaying  to  and  fro.

See  the  Sun,  light  by  day, See  the  Moon,  light  by  night. See  the  Stars  and  see  the  Planets, See  two  oceans,  set  alight.

See  all  this  and  know, That  you  not  be  afraid Of  the  waves  below.

If  I  had  no  concept  of  birds  and  feathers,  I  would  s ll  know  that  you  and  I  are  similar.

If  I  had  no  concept  of  a  puzzle  or  its  pieces,  I  would  s ll  know  that  you  and  I  could  fit  together.

If  I  had  no  concept  of  pain  or  heartache,  I  would  s ll  carry  you  as  carefully  as  I  would  myself.

If  I  had  no  concept  of  fear  or  worry,  I  would  s ll  do  everything  so  as  to  not  waste  such  a  shining  opportunity.

If  I  had  no  concept  of  love  or  care,  I  would  s ll  want  you.

If  I  had  no  concept  of  solitude,  I  would  s ll  not  want  to  be  alone  in  this.  

Fortress By: Matthew Arsenault

Self Evidence By: Matthew Arsenault

Romantic Reads!

Gone  With  the  Wind  –  Margaret  Mitchell

Set  against  the  drama c  backdrop  of  the  American  Civil  War,  Margaret  Mitchell's  epic  love  story  is  an  unforge able  tale  of  love  and  loss,  of  a  na on  mortally  divided  and  its  people  forever  changed.  At  the  heart  of  all  this  chaos  is  the  story  of  beau ful,  ruthless  Scarle  'O'  Hara  and  the  dashing  soldier  of  fortune,  Rhe  Butler.  

Pride  and  Prejudice  –  Jane  Austen

“It  is  a  truth  universally  acknowledged  that  a  single  man  in  possession  of  a  good  fortune  must  be  in  want  of  a  wife." So  begins Pride  and  Prejudice,  Jane  Austen's  wi y  comedy  of  manners--one  of  the  most  popular  novels  of  all   me--that  features  splendidly  civilized  sparring  between  the  proud  Mr.  Darcy  and  the  prejudiced  Elizabeth  Bennet  as  they  play  out  their  spirited  courtship  in  a  series  of  eighteenth-century  drawing-room  intrigues.  Renowned  literary  cri c  and  historian  George  Saintsbury  in  1894  declared  it  the  "most  perfect,  the  most  characteris c,  the  most  eminently  quintessen al  of  its  author's  works,"  and  Eudora  Welty  in  the  twn eth  century  described  it  as  "irresis ble  and  as  nearly  flawless  as  any  fic on  could  be."

The  English  Pa ent  –  Michael  Ondaatje

With  ravishing  beauty  and  unse ling  intelligence,  Michael  Ondaatje's  Booker  Prize-winning  novel  traces  the  intersec on  of  four  damaged  lives  in  an  Italian  villa  at  the  end  of  World  War  II.  Hana,  the  exhausted  nurse;  the  maimed  thief,  Caravaggio;  the  wary  sapper,  Kip:  each  is  haunted  by  the  riddle  of  the  English  pa ent,  the  nameless,  burned  man  who  lies  in  an  upstairs  room  and  whose  memories  of  passion,  betrayal,  and  rescue  illuminates  this  book  like  flashes  of  heat  lightening.  

The  Great  Gatsby  –  F.  Sco  Fitzgerald

This  love  story,  of  sorts,  follows  the  narra ve  of  Gatsby's  quixo c  passion  for  Daisy  Buchanan.  The  pair  meet  five  years  before  the  novel  begins,  when  Daisy  is  a  legendary  young  Louisville  beauty  and  Gatsby  an  impoverished  officer.  They  fall  in  love,  but  while  Gatsby  serves  overseas,  Daisy  marries  the  brutal,  bullying,  but  extremely  rich  Tom  Buchanan.  A er  the  war,  Gatsby  devotes  himself  blindly  to  the  pursuit  of  wealth  by  whatever  means--and  to  the  pursuit  of  Daisy,  which  amounts  to  the  same  thing.  "Her  voice  is  full  of  money,"  Gatsby  says  admiringly,  in  one  of  the          novel's  more  famous  descrip ons.  His  millions  made,  Gatsby  buys  a  mansion  across  Long  Island  Sound  from  Dai        sy's  patrician  East  Egg  address,  throws  lavish  par es,  and  waits  for  her  to  appear.  When  she  does,  events  unfold          with  all  the  tragic  inevitability  of  a  Greek  drama,  with  detached,  cynical  neighbour  Nick  Carraway  ac ng  as  cho        rus  throughout.  Spare,  elegantly  plo ed,  and  wri en  in  crystalline  prose, The  Great  Gatsby is  as  perfectly  sa s        fying  as  the  best  kind  of  poem.

The  Remains  of  the  Day  –  Kazuo  Ishiguro

In  1956,  Stevens,  a  long-serving  butler  at  Darlington  Hall,  decides  to  take  a  motoring  trip  through  the  West  Country.  The  six-day  excursion  becomes  a  journey  into  the  past  of  Stevens  and  England,  a  past  that  takes  in  fascism,  two  world  wars  and  an  unrealised  love  between  the  butler  and  his  housekeeper.  Ishiguro’s  dazzling  novel  is  a  sad  and  humorous  love  story,  a  medita on  on  the  condi on  of  modern  man,  and  an  elegy  for  England  at  a   me  of  acute  change.

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Across!

2.!Misrepresenting!the!ideas,!expression!of!ideas!or!work!of!others!as!one's!own.!It!includes!reproducing!or!paraphrasing!portions!of!someone!else's!published!or!unpublished!material,!regardless!of!the!source,!and!representing!these!as!one's!own!thinking!by!not!acknowledging!the!appropriate!source!or!by!the!failure!to!use!appropriate!quotation!marks.!

7.!Similar!to!plagiarism!in!that!it!involves!the!appropriation!of!others'!work!as!one's!own.!It!includes!using!in!whole!or!in!part!another's!test!or!examination!answer(s),!laboratory!report,!essay,!or!other!assignment.!

8.!Reference!to!the!works!you!used!in!research,!to!show!where!you!took!the!information!from,!and!who's!ideas!it!is.!Formats!can!include!APA!and!MLA!

10.!Although!this!is!usually!beneficial,!it!is!an!offence!to!do!this!to!complete!an!academic!assignment,!in!whole!or!in!part,!when!the!instructor!has!indicated!that!the!assignment!is!to!be!completed!on!an!individual!basis.!

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Down!

1.! A!mandatory!penalty!with!any!finding!of!academic!misconduct.!This!is!a!notation!on!the!student's!record!remaining!either!until!graduation!or,!in!some!cases,!until!such!time!as!a!remedial!course!has!been!successfully!completed.!

3.!This!involves!having!someone!pretend!to!be!oneself,!either!in!person!or!electronically,!in!class,!in!an!examination!or!in!connection!with!any!type!of!academic!requirement,!course!assignment!or!material.!

4.! It!is!an!offence!to!misrepresent!the!amount!of!work!an!individual!has!contributed!to!a!group!assignment!or!activity.!Both!the!individual!to!whom!work!is!falsely!attributed!and!those!who!acquiesce!in!its!attribution!commit!an!academic!offence.!

5.!One!extreme!possibility!if!you!are!convicted!of!academic!misconduct.!

6.!Intentionally!using!or!attempting!to!use!unauthorized!materials,!information,!notes,!study!aids!or!other!devices!or!materials!in!any!academic!exercise.!

9.!The!act!to!imitate!or!counterfeit!documents,!signatures,!and!the!like.!

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Academic!Integrity!Crossword!Brought(to(you(by(the(Office(Academic(

Programmers(

With!the!many!papers!and!projects!being!assigned!this!time!of!the!semester,!it's!really!

important!to!be!aware!of!the!Academic!Integrity!protocols!at!the!University!of!Guelph!!This!info!was!found!on!the!University!of!Guelph!and!

University!of!Toronto's!websites.!!

More!information!can!be!found!on!the!University!of!Guelph's!Academic!Integrity!

website:!http://www.academicintegrity.uoguelph.ca/!

!

Contact!Herd!the!Werd!at!ihcadmin@uoguelph.ca!for!the!answer!key!!

STUD

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SUBM

ISSIONS

What is war?

By: Kat Worsfold

What is war?

War is people dying.

War is children crying.

War is gunshots fired.

War is men so tired.

War is another one dead.

War is truthful words unsaid.

War is children left alone.

War is wives crying on the phone.

War is goodbye.

War is a lie.

War is a fake, a demon, a sin.

War has no real meaning within.

War is a death sentence.

War is repentence.

War is murder, which is a crime,

What makes it ok to happen this time?

How did war turn us to such ugly people?

To spend all our money on weapons so lethal.

War is a wet, wicked, worse version of hell.

War is a trance, an evil spell.

War is a time of death and remorse,

War, if you don’t go then they will soon force.

War is not civil and should not be okay.

We hear of more soldiers dead every day.

War, what is the point because I really don’t know?

War, a country declares it, why is this so?

So war is these things but I am still so confused...

Why do we play along, why has no one refused?

Our Secrets

By: Kat Worsfold

I glide my boat across the peaceful lake,

The crisp cold air becomes hard to intake.

The sun and the world are still in deep sleep,

But my boat and I continue to creep.

I feel the drops of dew on my fingers as I grip to the oar,

As the birds awaken and swiftly soar.

I push the boat more.

The birds are now whistling songs in my ear,

And I see the thick haze on the lake disappear.

The sun dances on the horizon, ready for the day,

But I know that’s my cue, I know I cannot stay.

Disrupting the water, I turn on a dime,

I begin the sprint – beating record time.

The paddle swims like a fish through the lake,

SWISH SWISH in the water with each stroke I take.

I force the boat faster to beat the sun’s shine,

And catch one last glimpse of what’s only mine.

The chilled drop of sweat drips off my nose,

The trees guide me home where nobody knows.

The sun’s reaping rays chase at the stern,

My grip becomes harder...just one last turn.

I see the house, a sleeping giant,

6:55 and still dead silent.

I race to the dock just minutes away,

My watch jumps a second, how I wish I could stay.

I tie up the boat my hands numb with blisters,

I run through the wind and hear its last whispers.

I crawl through my window and jump into bed,

The house is still silent, nothing heard, nothing said.

My alarm beeps 7, the real day has begun,

The small dancing rays are now a bright sun.

My mom knocks on the door and walks straight in,

Yet she has no idea where I have just been.

I run my fingers over blisters new and old,

I think of what challenges tomorrow will hold.

I grab stuff for school and head on my way,

Close the door behind me yet another day.

I catch a peek of the lake through the tight knitted trees,

As I think of what it shows me, that no one else sees

I smile to myself and remember our secrets.

A chapter written by: Vanisha Mistry

Brianna

“Don't touch me!” I exclaimed as I pulled my arm away from Justin. “I told you to stay away from me.”

I was completely oblivious to the fact that about thirty other people were crowded in the same hallway

Justin and I were in.

Justin was my ex-boyfriend. It would be nice to say we had a good thing going on, but we didn't. I kept

getting fed up with his ignorant attitude. Yes, I admit that he was an extremely attractive guy, but that didn't

change the fact that he was a cold hearted jerk. Or better yet, a wimp.

“You can't walk away from me!” he yelled as I ran down the hallway. “I need you!”

Unfortunately for me, our school was way too small for me to be able to find a decent place to hide. So, I

was left with the dreaded option of hiding in the girls’ bathroom.

I could still hear Justin chasing after me. “Brianna! Baby, I'm sorry. Just listen to me!”

I ignored him as I pushed the door to the bathroom open; I walked straight over to the mirror. I glanced at

my reflection; my bouncy, brunette curls had fallen out of place and my hair was getting frizzy. “Damn it. This

sucks,” I muttered under my breath.

I was rummaging through my purse looking for my cell phone when I noticed Brittany Davidson walk into

the room.

“There you are,” she exclaimed. “I've been looking everywhere for you.”

Brittany wasn't one of my favourite people, but I put up with her because fighting with this girl was like

living in hell. Honestly, she would go out of her way to make your life miserable; hence most people just dealt with

her.

“Yup, I'm here,” I said as I watched her pull her long platinum blonde hair into a ponytail. Brittany was

gorgeous; nobody would disagree with that. Her big bright blue eyes and slender figure made all the boys go gaga

over her. None of them really cared that she was a major bitch. I guess it just shows how shallow some people

can be.

“Do you love Justin?” she asked out of the blue. This was so typical of her. She always needed to be in the

middle of everybody's lives.

I wasn't really in the mood to talk to her so I just shrugged, “Love is...a strong word.”

“I heard about what happened between you and Justin,” she said while re-applying her mascara.

“Of course you have,” I said sarcastically. This was really starting to get on my nerves. How did everyone

find out what happened? Is it so hard for people to keep their mouths shut? Whatever had happened between

Justin and I, it was our problem and no one else’s.

“If I were you I'd just forgive him,” she said. “You're lucky that he even agreed to date you in the first

place.”

Did she really have to be such a bitch? Yes, okay, maybe I wasn't the prettiest girl in the school or the

nicest, but that didn't mean I wasn't liked by others.

“He's a dick,” I replied. “Why would I forgive him for what he did?”

She rolled her eyes at me, “He made one mistake...Besides he's the captain of the hockey team. Do you

not understand how many girls would kill to be with him? He's every girl's perfect guy.”

I picked my bag up off the counter, “Yeah well, I hate to break it to you, but I'm not every girl.” I bumped her

shoulder lightly with mine as I stormed out of the room. I knew, although I couldn't see her face, she was giving

me a “oh no you didn't,” look. She was probably, also, getting her phone out to tell all her so called “friends” what

had just happened.

I went back to my locker, grabbed my things and headed straight to my car. I had no intentions of speaking

to anyone about anything, especially if it had something to do with Justin.

“Have I ever told you how much I hate hangovers?” I asked Jamie while making Kraft Dinner.

It was safe to say Jamie was my best friend. She’s been there for me for as long as I could remember. I’ve

always been a tad jealous of her though. We had a lot of things in common, like playing soccer and music. She

was an amazing guitar player and she could sing better than a lot of people I’ve met. On top of that, she was a

freaking amazing soccer player. I envied how she always managed to look good during games. Her sandy blonde

hair stayed perfectly in place and she never got soccer tans. Her skin always stayed a fair colour, she never got

red either. As for me, I played my piano pretty well, it was probably the only thing I could do better than Jamie. I

played guitar occasionally, but I sucked. As for soccer, not to be cocky, I was good, but not as good as Jamie.

“Well you’re the stupid one who decided to drink yesterday,” she said.

Although Jamie was like my sister and we did have a ton of stuff in common, she was against drinking

and drugs. Not to say she didn’t drink because she would occasionally at parties, but she wasn’t like me. The

stupid one who drinks to help ease the pain of all the stupid stuff that goes on in my life.

“Yeah, okay, okay,” I said. “Are you going to school for the afternoon or…?”

“Yeah I have a chem. test,” she answered.

“Oh, well that sucks,” I said. “I don’t think I’m gonna go.”

“You should,” she encouraged. “Your parents would be happy.”

My parents would be happy? I thought. Yeah right. My parents didn't care about anything I ever did. They

were both always too busy with work to care about me. They would leave me home alone on weekends, knowing

I’ll throw a party and get super smashed, and never do anything about it. They didn't even bother to ground me

anymore. I could skip as many classes as I’d liked and they would never say anything except “You really should

go to school more often Brianna Elizabeth Greely.” All my friends thought I was so, so lucky to not have them care

what I do, but the truth is, sometimes I wished they did.

“Haha,” I muttered. “That would be a miracle and a half.”

“Don’t say that Brie,” she said. “I mean, c’mon, they’re your parents. They love you no matter what. They

just have a weird way of showing it.”

This was one of the things I loved most about Jamie; her positive outlook on every single situation. She

was a big believer in the whole “live life to the fullest” thing. Even when things got rough for her she managed to

find ways to keep smiling. This was yet another thing I envied her for.

I passed her a bowl of Kraft Dinner, “Thanks. Eat up!”

I figured I’d go spend some time at the library and attempt to study for finals, since I elected to skip class. I

currently had an Academic Scholarship worth $5000. Although I did do some pretty stupid stuff, I always found a

way to keep up my grades at school. Don’t ask me how I managed to do it because I honestly don’t have a clue.

I sat down at a table in the back corner of the library. Our community library wasn’t anything special. It was

basically just a rectangle. There were a few computers, ratty old ones, against a wall at one end of the room along

with a bunch of tables and chairs. The rest of the room was filled with rows and rows of books.

I pulled my calculus textbook out of my bag. Calculus drove me insane, no matter how hard I tried I could

never really wrap my head around it. It surprises me that I’ve managed to keep my average a consistent 82 in the

course.

I noticed that despite the fact that it was a school day and classes were on as normal, a lot of seniors were

at the library. Pretty much all the tables were occupied. It was a little strange because I didn’t think this many

students had well enough grades to even think about skipping.

I focused my attention back towards my textbook. I tried to process the mass amounts of numbers and

letters and functions in my head. It was difficult, not to mention stressful. It made me want to drink. I wasn’t the

type of person who deals well with stress, but I had to study. I wanted to prove to my parents that I was actually

capable of not screwing something up in my life.

I was about to try and tackle a calculus problem again when someone interrupted, “Hey, is anyone sitting

there?”

I noticed the guy right away; his skinny, tall figure, brown winged hair, cut just below the ear and Clark Kent

glasses. I knew instantly it was that guy who sat in front of me in calculus class. His name escaped me.

“Nope,” I said. I tried once again to focus my attention back to calculus, but I was distracted. This no name

boy seemed more attractive from up close. His green eyes had some sort of sparkle to them and his plaid Hollister

shirt made him look like a California beach boy. I guess once you got past his geeky appearance you could say

he’s kind of attractive.

“Brianna, right?” he asked as he pulled open his calculus textbook out of his bag.

“Yeah,” I said hesitantly. I was curious to know his name, but I didn’t want to ask because I didn’t want him

to think I had never paid attention to him, even though I hadn’t.

“Why’d you cut calc. today?”

I put my pen down and started playing with my fingers, nervously. “Didn’t feel like going…although I

probably should have gone…this makes no sense to me.”

He smirked slightly, “Yeah, would’ve been smart.”

There was this sudden awkward moment of silence. I didn’t quite know what to say.

“I can help you with it if you’d like?” he asked. As he was pulling his binder out of his bag, a few papers fell

out. I picked them up off the ground. The top paper was our unit two calc. test. He had gotten a 98%, this boy was

a genius. A little jerk of happiness flew through my body. I finally knew mystery boy’s name. “That would be great,”

I said. “Thanks, Zach.”

He perked an almost awkward smile; almost awkward only because I found it cute.

Zach

“Zachary, why are you always crammed up here studying?” my mother asked. “Why don't you go spend

time with your friends?”

I hated when my mom interrogated me like this. “No mom, I'm fine.” I watched as she walked away. I

wasn't really the social type; I didn't party or play sports or go out with friends. Not to say I didn't have friends

because I did, but most of them just wanted to stay home and play Call of Duty online all day.

I walked into the bathroom and splashed my face with some water. I clasped my hands on the edge of the

sink and peered at my reflection in the mirror. My mom always told me I looked like Clark Kent. I didn't disagree

with her, I was just too scrawny. As for my facial features, yes they did resemble Clark Kent. I wore the same style

of glasses, but sported a longer winged hair cut. If only girls could see the apparent “good looks” that my mom

saw in me, then maybe I'd actually be able to get a girlfriend.”

I lay down on my bed. My room was barely big enough to fit a bed, dresser and desk in, but I managed

somehow. Much like the rest of my house, it was just big enough for the essentials.

After my dad passed away my mom had a hard time managing. Suddenly our average mid-sized house

became a small shack just barely big enough for the two of us. Her office job just barely got us through, forcing

me to work a part-time cash job at the grocery store. In a way, loosing most of our money wasn't a bad thing. It

motivated me to do well at school.

I grabbed a sweater from my dresser and headed downstairs. “I'm going for a walk, I'll be back in a bit.” I

told my mom as I was walking out the door.

There was this really cool antique music store in our small town. I loved going there because music

relieved me, it was my savior and without it I'd be nothing.

I walked into the store and spotted my baby; a steel string Yamaha APX700 electric-acoustic

guitar. I've had my heart set on her since the first day I walked into this store. To some people this would just be

another guitar or another $459.99, but to me it was everything.

This guitar was one of the things I wanted most. I'd gladly spend $500 on it any day, but my mom would be

so angry if I did. She would probably say something along the lines of, “Zachary, honey, you could have used that

money on something more important.” She doesn't understand what music means to me. To her it's just noise, but

to me it's a call for help or a helping hand, a best friend.

“Hey Zach, you're back again!” The manager Joey said excitedly. Joey was an old plump man who wore

round glasses and often reminded me of Santa Clause. He was one of the most friendly people in town and he's

constantly filling everyone's brains with random quotes by famous musicians or guitar icons.

“Lemme guess, you're here to play your baby?” he asked.

“Yeah buddy.” Joey always let me play in the store. He was the one who taught me the basics of guitar.

He told me he was good friends with my dad and that my dad was just as adamant about music as I am. It

surprised me to hear that because for the eight years I knew my father, he never once spoke about music.

I started playing the intro riff for Crazy Train by Ozzy Osbourne, it was one of my favourites. Last week, I

started working on my own song, but I was beginning to believe I was insane to think I could create my own

music.

“You get better every day, bud,” Joey said while tapping me on the back.

“Thanks,” I said. “I can’t wait ‘till the day I can take this baby home.”

Joey propped his glasses on his head, “I’ll tell you what, I will sell you your baby for half price.”

“Legit? Are you serious?” I asked. “Man, you really don’t know how much this means to me.”

He walked behind the counter and grabbed a soft guitar case for me. “It’s the least I can do. I haven’t

seen a kid so adamant about music since Jimmy Hendrix.”

“Thanks Joey,” I said while handing him my debit card.

“Don’t mention it,” he replied. “You have talent kid, pursue it.”

“Thanks again.”

“Not a problem. Tell your mom I say hi, will you?”

“Will do,” I said. “I’ll see you around.”

“Zachary, how in the world did you afford that guitar?” my mom interrupted.

“I've been saving up for a while.” I knew she was going to react this way.

“But why waste your money on a silly guitar? What if you don't get that scholarship for school?”

For some reason my mom has always been against me playing music. “Have you ever thought that maybe

music means something to me? Why is it so wrong if I want to pursue music? What if I don't want to go to med

school?” My mother and I rarely ever fought; this was a first for us. I always just did what she wanted me to do

because I wanted to make her happy.

“Then don't go to med school Zach,” she replied. “But don't pursue something that you're unlikely to be

successful with.”

“How do you know I won't be successful?” I argued as I made my way up to my room.

“Zach you're being ridiculous!”

I slammed my bedroom door. I wasn't going to deal with this any longer.

My calculus exam was in a week and I wasn't anywhere close to being ready for it. I really hated how

teachers gave us so many projects right before exams. It's the biggest pain in the ass ever. I was so happy about

getting my guitar that I didn't even bother studying anything last night.

Since I had a spare, I figured I'd just hit the library; at least this way nothing could distract me.

When I walked into the library, it was packed. I'll never be able to understand why so many seniors think

it's okay to cut class just because they've gotten accepted into a program at a university

or college. They still had a chance of getting kicked out.

I looked around the room for a spot. There's only one empty seat at the table in the back corner. As I

approached the table I noticed that Brianna from my calculus class was sitting there.

She was beautiful and she had a mysterious atmosphere that surrounded her. It made me want to get to

know her more. I watched contently as she brushed her curly brown hair out of her face. I knew I had zero chance

with her, she probably didn't even know my name...and on top of that, she dated Justin Powell. I stood no chance

against Mr. I'm-the-captain-of-the-hockey-team-so-I'm-better-than-all-of-you.

I gently tapped Brianna on the shoulder, “Hey is anyone sitting here?” I was starting to get nervous. I could

feel the blood rushing to my head, I hoped my face wasn't turning red.

“Nope,” she responded. She went back to her textbook.

I was sweltering with nerves, but I felt the need to say something, “Brianna, right?” I couldn't believe I just

asked that. I'm such an idiot, she's going to think I've never noticed her before.

“Yeah,” she responded. There was a slight hesitation in her voice.

I wanted to say more, but I wasn't sure what to say. The fact that she was wearing a purple v-neck shirt

didn't help much. She has such a hot body. Even me, the outsider, knows all the guys at our school think so.

Suddenly, I remembered that I hadn't seen her in calculus. “Why did you cut calc. today?”

For some reason, I got the vibe that she was just as nervous as me.

“Didn't feel like going, although I probably should have gone...this makes no sense to me,” she

responded.

There was something about her that intrigued me to want to get to know her better. Something about her

just made me want to smile. “Would've been smart.”

She didn't say anything and suddenly I felt like I'd said the wrong thing. “I can help you, if you want?” I

asked.

I turned slightly to grab my binder out of my bag. As I lifted it out of my bag, I somehow

managed to drop some of my stuff on the ground. How could this be happening? I thought. I was about to bend

down and pick up my stuff, but Brianna beat me to it.

“That'd be great...Thanks Zach,” she said.

She actually knew my name. My nerves suddenly started to ease. I looked at her, I was smiling awkwardly

again. Damn it.

Just as I thought I had screwed it all up, I noticed a small smile emerge on her face and that was when I

realized it; I was falling for her....and fast.

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