interpersonal communication
DESCRIPTION
TRANSCRIPT
INTERPERSONAL COMMUNICATION PROJECT
Shandelier Boyd Smith
Liberty University
HSER 508
Spring 2012
2
Introduction Define interpersonal
communication Identification of an overarching
goal (OAG) Definition of enlarging the
conversation Description of how my
background and behavioral blend influence conversation (positively and negatively)
Defining potential barriers in my interpersonal context
How am I going to deal with each of my potential barriers
Identify and provide solutions to nose pollution both internal and external
Plan of action for my overarching goal
INTERPERSONAL COMMUNICATION OUTLINE
3
WHAT IS INTERPERSONAL COMMUNICATION?
The type or kind of communication that happens when the people involved talk and listen in ways that maximize the presence of the personal
(Stewart, 2012, p. 36). Note: When communication emphasizes the
persons involved rather than just their roles or stereotypical characteristics, interpersonal communication is happening. In other words when communicators give and receive or talk and listen in ways that emphasize their uniqueness, unmeasureability, responsiveness, reflectiveness, and addressability then the communication between them is interpersonal.
4
OVERARCHING MASTER GOAL
It is difficult to understand others until we learn to listen effectively to ourselves
(Burley- Allen, 1995, p.82).
My overarching goal is to become more aware of my internal thought process which result in negative conflict, feelings of frustration, stress and unworthy of what God has for me.
5
ENLARGING MY CONVERSATION
There’s a direct link between the quality of your communication and the quality of your life (Stewart, 2009, p. 6).
Mindful listening requires you to see, hear, and feel with your whole being (Stewart, 2009, p. 187).
Empathetic listening requires three skill sets: focusing, encouraging and reflecting (Stewart, 2009, 193).
6
ENLARGING MY CONVERSATION CONT.
According to Petersen (2007) our stomachs expand with overload of mixed emotions
They press the heart into bricks in our chest, sending our relating abilities south.
The upward expansion flattens our brains, forcing our thinking, hearing and seeing off kilter.
When our brains are flat, we can’t hear, see, think or act sensibly.
This causes our systems to get out of whack which affects how we communicate.
(Petersen, 2007, p.23)
7
BACKGROUND
African – American Female Two-parent/working
household Youngest of five children Educated /1st in family Independent Soft-spoken Determined Strong-willed Go-getter
Positive Influences Adjust well Family values Family support Wisdom Intelligent
Negative Influences Discrimination Not a team player Too risky All over the place goal-
wise
8
BEHAVIORAL BLEND Specific personality pattern of the way I think, act and
feel. According to Carbonell (2008), the model of human behavior are four basic types of temperament
known as the Four Temperament Model of Human Behavior/ Four
“DISC” Personality Types.
D – active/task-oriented I – active/people-oriented
S- passive/people-oriented C-passive/task-oriented
BEHAVIORAL BLEND CONT.
My personality type is determined by two perspectives (1) my guarded behavior/ what’s expected of me and (2) the more casual and open part of me/ this is me.
The Uniquely You assessment identified my behavioral blend as,
“This is expected of me!” I
“This is me!” C/I/S
10
DESCRIPTION OF BEHAVIORAL BLEND
Inspiring Influencing Humorous Open Short-sighted vision Interested in people Inducing Standing out in a crowd
(Carbonell, 2008, p. 25 – 27)
Passive Outgoing/ Reserved Life of the party Like to interact with people I prefer peace and harmony I enjoy organized
environments Flexible Need to be more decisive
and direct (Carbonell, 2008, p. 191)
“This is expected of me!” - I “This is me!” - C/I/S
11
POSITIVE BEHAVIORAL BLEND INFLUENCES
I tend to take the friendly & compliant perspective Strong personal skills Very warm on an individual basis Usually do what I am told I don’t like coloring outside the lines or cutting corners I enjoy open conversations and detailed discussions
(Carbonell, 2008, p. 191 – 193)
12
NEGATIVE BEHAVIORAL BLEND INFLUENCES
Overuse my analytical skills Lack of being commanding or demanding I think too much or too long about solving a problem I tend to be too quiet & humble that no one knows I am
present Struggle with those who want immediate action or answers I turn people off with my opinions
(Carbonell, 2008, p. 194 - 195
13
POTENTIAL BARRIERS
Difficult or challenging conversations (Stewart, 2009, p. 95)
Finding my sense of entitlement to speak up (Stewart, 2009, p. 222)
Negative self-talk (Burley-Allen, 1995, p. 99)
Disclosing myself to others (Stewart, 2012, p. 211)
Fatigue (Burley-Allen, 1995, p. 64 – 65)
Rescuing others (Burley-Allen, 1995, p. 113,
14
BARRIER SOLUTIONS
Think clearly and honestly about who I am, by strengthening
my foundation
Recognize what matters most
Change negative statement to a positive
Be more willing to share myself with others
Listen at level 2 or make notes (Burley- Allen, 1995, p. 65)
Become aware of “OK” attitudes (Burley-Allen, 1995, p. 37)
NOISE POLLUTION
Factors that influence us to be distracted from listening effectively at level 1 (Burley- Allen, 1995).
Two types of noise pollution
1) Internal Noise
2) External Noise
16
NOISE POLLUTION CONT.
Hearing what you want to hear
Biased Listening Emotional Listening Fatigue
(Burley- Allen, 1995)
Not allowing past experiences dictate how I listen
Patience Positive Process information better
(Burley-Allen, 1995)
Internal Noise Solutions
17
NOISE POLLUTION CONTINUED
Loud traffic noises Views of outside activity or
scenery Doing two or three things
at one time Talker speaking too rapidly
(Burley-Allen, 1995)
Find a peaceful place inside Go to a place where there
are less distractions Focus on one thing at a
time Ask for understanding and
clarity
External Noise Solutions
18
PLAN OF ACTION
Take a vacation from classes so I can reflect on what I’ve learned from this course!
Listen with intent.
Paraphrase for clarity
Focus more on the other person
Respect what others say is important to them
Manage time better
19
PLAN OF ACTION CONT.
Acquiring a humble spirit
Stand up for myself
Improve my indecisiveness
Begin to demand what’s rightfully mine
Work on managing conflict
Try not to be so intense
20
CONCLUSION… It’s easy to overlook oneself and point the finger at
others. My main objective is to do a lot of soul searching, praying, fasting, whatever it takes to rid myself of the things that will hinder me from being effective to the Kingdom of God.
I never imagined that this class would provoke me to dig
deep within me to uncover some of those ugly things that I
knew was there, but never knew how to approach. This
course left me no other choice.
Thank you!
21
REFERENCES
Burley-Allen, M. (1995). Listening: The forgotten skill: A self-teaching
guide. (2nd ed.). New York: John Wiley & Sons
Carbonell, M. (2008). How to solve the people puzzle: Understanding
personality patterns. Blue Ridge, GA: Uniquely You Resources.
Carbonell, M. (2005). Uniquely You. Retrieved June 27, 2011 from
Uniquely You. https://www.uniquelyyou.com
Peterson, J.C. (2007). Why don’t we listen better? Communicating and
connecting in relationships. Tigard, OR: Peterson Publications.
Stewart, J. (2012). Bridges not walls: A book about interpersonal
communication. (11th ed.). Boston: McGraw Hill