krizmanić - Život s različitima

7/28/2019 Krizmani - ivot s razliitima

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2/85

Mlrbheh Crlzmhel

lvit s rhzflltlmh

Ciflci sd mdusioei pizehbdmi l rhzumlbdmi

P_IGLF ?00


3/85

Mhfl eiel rhznivir

Ed minu lzhl s tioim& lzbhvlfh bd prdjrhsujh%

Minfl olsmi pridthtl nrhjim rucu pij rucu& rdcfh bd debh%

Minhi ol md vljbdtl edtci pizeht& chzhfh bdprdjrhsujh%

&&H jh ijdmi zhbdjei ednjbd njbd edmh fbujl9hpeufh bd fbuohv%

Hci l lzhdmi& mdel d oltl edunijei jh md vljd s tioim& edrvizei bd ijvrhtlfh prdjrhsujh%

Chci ol olfi jh lzhdmi shmi chi zeheal9plthfh bd ijheist%

Chi jh ed trdoh olrhtl l zehead(grceufh bd prdjrhsujh% Ed& ed& el u cibdm sfuhbu ed minu

lzhl s tioim%

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4/85

Qhjrhb

Tvij

Eirmhfeist l rhzflltist

_dkholflthalbh

Prlkvhhebd levhfljltdth

I stdrditlplmh l prdjrhsujhmh

Zumh pibmivh l ehzlvh cirltdelk u ceblzl

Cirltdehl prdpirudeh fltdrhturh

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5/85

Tvij

I lvitu s levhfljltdtim minu plshtl rhzflltl struebhal& piput flbdelch&pslkifinh& pslklbhthrh& sialbhfelk rhjelch l jrunlk& hfl& jhchci& l shmd pinided isiod%Lhci pistibd rhzflltd vrstd l stupebdvl levhfljltdth& ph bd thci svhcl sfuhb bdjlestvde& lphcml sd lel jh ol pibdjleheh lscustvh& isiolti hci su zhlebdeh strucim piputpslkifinlbd& minfh prljielbdtl oifbdm ipdm rhzumlbdvhebu isioh s levhfljltdtim l svlbdthu cibdm lvd%

Plshebd i lvitu s levhfljltdtim eh tdmdfbu vfhstltlk lscusthvh euei ucfbuubd ledcd hutiolinrhgscd pijhtcd l sbdhebh cibh minu zhkvhhtl svh pijrubh l rhzjiofbhlvith& ph sd zhprhvi sthphtl u svibdvrseu hutiolinrhglbu% Jrunh bd minueist& cibu shmbh cirlstlfh u ivib ceblzl& ipls shmi edclk jinhhbh lz vfhstltin lvith& cibl sfud chipijfinh l lfustrhalbh ieinh i dmu sd nivirl%

Olfi cibh vrsth isioltistl cibh edcu isiou lel rhzflltim ij vdled& jijlrubd lied cibl s ebim lvd& cibl sd s ebim jrud& cibl bd pizehbu lfl bd shmi susrdu u susbdjstvu%El isiod s levhfljltdtim eltl eblkivl oflebl ed lvd eh pustim iticu& vd su u mhebib lflvdib mbdrl uriebdel u jrutvdeu zhbdjelau u cibib lvd% Zh zhbdjelah mid oltl rdfhtlveimhfh l shstibhtl sd ij edciflci cuh edcin zhsdich lfl oltl oribeh l vdflch& piput zhbdjelahcibd lvd u nrhjivlmh% Mdutlm& edivlsei i ebdzleib vdfllel l sfibdvltistl& svhchjrutvdeh zhbdjelah lmh svibd sthvivd prdmh isiohmh s levhfljltdtim& prdmh ielmh ciblsd rhzflcubu ij vdled& prdmh svlmh cibl su eh edcl vljfblv lfl edvljfblv ehle rhzflltl% Itlm sthvivlmh jrutvh dsti u vdflcib mbdrl ivlsl minueist prlfhnijod eh levhfljltdt lflolfi cibu jrunu rhzflltist& chci shmlk rhzflltlk thci l eblkivlk ofleblk%

Plthebd eh cibd trdoh pitrhltl ijnivir bdst zhti ol edtci odz vljfblvlk lflprdpizehtfblvlk tbdfdselk edjisththch lfl edtci tci el u svibib oflib lfl jhfbebib ioltdfbledmh isiod s levhfljltdtim zhdfli uipd prilthtl ceblnu i svhcijedveim lvitu isiohs levhfljltdtim9 Rh ti ol uipd olfi tci oli vifbhe lthtl i eddm ti vd eh prvl pinfdjlmh mlrls l oibu tund l edvifbd9 Rehmi& jijud& jh fbujl tu l thmi vifd pinfdjhtl edcltuhe glfm lfl& bi rhjlbd& shpuelau u cibib sd edclm fbujlmh cibl ol minfl oltl l ehl susbdjl&zeheal lfl prlbhtdfbl& jinhhbu mhebd lfl vdd edvifbd% Ehbdd sd rhjl i edvifbhmh cibdmidmi rhzumbdtl& zoin ciblk midmi suisbdhtl s lzmlfbdelm flcivlmh eh dcrheu%

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6/85

Lmh& jhchci& rhzelk mitlvh zoin ciblk fbujl dfd& eh prlmbdr& nfdjhtl tuedglfmivd lfl shpuelad& sfuhtl prld i nrizithmh cibd su sd jinijlfdzeheau edcin zeheah%Zuel glfmivl lfl tunhfblvd shpuelad sfud sfleib svrsl chi l glfmivl strhvd l uhsh& cibl ehmiminuubu jh sd eh slnureim slfei uzouubdmi l strdplmi& zehbul jh ehm sd elthed mid jinijltl% Chtchj& chj ehm vld nijl jh sd rhstulmi ehj edlbim tdcimsujoleim edni jh strdplmi ij edclk lzmlfbdelk ujivlth& olrhmi tued glfmivd& zhcibd l jic lk nfdjhmi zehmi jh bd svd ti lphcshmi glfm l ed jinhh sd& kvhfh jrhnimOinu& ehmh& edni edclm edpizehtlm isiohmh% Ehd ehm nheud lstijioei pichzubd ljh smi jiorh l suisbdhbeh isioh& bdr chci ol ehs lehd lvit edpizehtlk fbujl minhiuipd l jithceutl9 H hci ehs sfuhbei edch glfmsch sujoleh prdvld jlred& uvlbdc midmishml sdol rdl chci bd vbdribhtei svd ti lphc shmi pfij edlbd mhtd%

Qltuhalbh bd jruclbh hci sd upustlmi u lthebd ceblnd cibh nivirl i fbujlmh ciblsu u srdjlel u cibib lvd iel jruclbl lfl rhzflltl& olfi jh lk thcvlmh lel eblkivipirlbdcfi lfl edch tdch lviteh lscustvh% Tpizehvhebd lvith jruclblk dstiehm pruhminueist l zh oifbd upizehvhebd vfhstltlk sthvivh& stdrditlph l prdjrhsujh& ph hc lminueist zh eblkivi mlbdebhebd% Zi& jijud& ed zehl jh d svhtci pidfbdtl lznuoltlcibu ij sviblk prdjrhsujh lfl dvdetuhfei shzehtl eblkivi pirlbdcfi& hfl iel mdju ehmhcibl su svbdsel lebdelad jh sd svhcimd ij ehs l ehlk ofleblk u svhcim trdeutcu midjinijltl edti ti d lk uleltl rhzflltlmh& mijh d oltl sprdmel ufiltl truj u lthebdceblnd isusrdtu s prdjrhsujhmh%

Qvl smi ml& ehlmd& u svim svhcijedveim lvitu ehbvld zhicupfbdelrhzmlfbhebdm i edclm edpisrdjelm zhjhalmh lfl eblkivlm lzvidebdm% Tbutri usthbdmi&urdjubdmi sd& jirucubdmi +ed oh euei tlm rdjim,& ijfhzlmi eh pishi lfl sdprlkvhhmi edcin pisfh u cul& ijfhzlmi u cupivleu lfl shmi u dtebu& ed mlsfdl uipdjh ehs edch edsrdh lfl oifdst mid sehl u svhcim trdeutcu ehdn lvith% Eh putu jishmipisfulvhebh mid ehs pimdstl plbhel vizh& mijhel ehm sd ujhr mid jinijltl ljic sphvhmi& edch sd oifdst mid ijbdjeim mhelgdstlrhtl u sehelm oifivlmh lfl ipibsfhoistl& eh putu ji pisfh mid ehm pizfltl jic vizlmi huti& kijhbul svbdd iprhelmstdpdelahmh midmi sd piscflzeutl l sfimltl crhfbdelau - zhprhvi eh svhcim cirhcuvrdohbu rhzflltd iphseistl zh ehd zjrhvfbd l ehu jioriolt% Tfbufbcheh u sthbhfltd jh sdsvd thcvd l sfled stvhrl jinhhbu shmi jrunlmh& vdleh fbujl ciblmh sd jinijl edchedvifbh pitpuei bd edsprdmeh eh suihvhebd sh shmim edsrdim& chi l s pisfbdjlahmhcibd ieh pitdealbhfei jieisl%

Zvrjebh jh smi edsprdmel eh edsrdd cibd ehm sd minu jinijltl elchci edzehl prdpirucu jh i eblmh sthfei mlsflmi lfl jh lvlmi u trhbeim strhku ij ieinh tiol ehm sd minfi jinijltl% Hfl zehl ijrdde pitlahb jh sd upizehmi s prdjrhsujhmh

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7/85

cibd dsti lmhmi prdmhielmh cibd lvit vd bdst iolfbdli edclm ujhradm lfl edvifbim&td jh sd uplthmi ciflci su ehm td prdjrhsujd eued jh olsmi srdtei l zhjivifbei lvbdfl%

Qvd sd ti uprhvi thci jinijlfi mdel l mibib ioltdfbl% lebdelah jh u ivib ceblzlpldm meini i vfhstltim lscustvu& pisfbdjlah bd& s bdjed strhed& min sthvh jh bd i oifelml edunijelm pibhvhmh prlmbdrdelbd plshtl eh vfhstltim prlmbdru edni ehvijdl prlmbdrdjrunlk fbujl& h s jrund strhed& min uvbdrdebh jh svl fbujl cibl su lzfidel jlscrlmlehalblzoin prdjrhsujh prifhzd criz sfled mucd% Zhci sd prlh i isiohmh s levhfljltdtim uvdflcib mbdrl picfhph s prlim ielk cibd fbujl jlscrlmlelrhbu zoin eblkivd ehrijeistl lflvbdrd& oibd cid lfl ioflch ilbu%

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8/85

Eirmhfeist l rhzflltist

_hzflltist sd& chi l eirmhfeist lfl fbdpith& u ijrddeib mbdrl ehfhzl u icuprimhtrhh% Jruclbd rddei& ti zehl jh svl lmhmi edcd vfhstltd crltdrlbd zh eirmhfeistl edeirmhfeist& ph svd ied cibl sd bhci rhzflcubu ij edclk ehlk lfl iplk eirml smhtrhmiedeirmhfelmh% Zi lstijioei zehl l jh sd ehl isioel crltdrlbl zh ijrdlvhebdeirmhfeistl minu tlbdcim vrdmdeh mlbdebhtl& ph jh dmi mijh tlbdcim lvith edtiti smi chi mfhjl smhtrhfl eirmhfelm pidtl smhtrhtl edeirmhfelm& eh prlmbdr ijrddeehle lzrhhvhebh zhlebde sielm rlbdlmh% Wrlbdjl& jhchci& l ioreuti& ph tlbdcim

vrdmdeh midmi l edti ti smi u mfhjistl smhtrhfl edeirmhfelm pidtl smhtrhtleirmhfelm& ehprlmbdr& rhj l rdj%

Qvl ml lmhmi meini tinh zhbdjelcin& ph smi thci& eh prlmbdr& svl prlphjelalfbujscd vrstd& svl sd rhhmi l umlrdmi& svl olsmi dfbdfl prilvbdtl svib lvit u srdl lzhjivifbstvu& zhtldel ij lzrhofblvhebh l ehslfbh& oifdstl l prlrijelk chthstrigh l svlk jrunlkminulk l edminulkedvifbh%Hfliein hsh chj chdmi jh svhtci ij ehs lmh edcd svibdpisdoed rhjistl lfl edcd svibd spdalgled strhkivd& vd smi sd jithceufl lehlkrhzflltistl%

Ijrdlvhebdrhzflltistl l sfleistl ivlsl ehbdd i ujhfbdeistl s cibd nfdjhmieh fbujd% Lz vdflcd ujhfbdeistl unfhveim prlmbdubdmi ieiti bd zhbdjelci l sflei& hti sd vld edcimd prloflhvhmi& tb% ti nh oifbd pizehbdmi& ti vld prlmbdubdmi lrhzflltistl%

Ij abdfivltin fbujscin flch cibl bd zhbdjelcl vdlel fbujl& ji rhzflch u jdthfblmhchi ti su oibh nfhsh lfl ehle smlbhebh& pistibd oribed rhzflcd u ehdm lznfdju&spisioeistlmh& letdrdslmh& isiolehmh& scfieistlmh l hvdrzlbhmh& alfbdvlmh l dfbhmh&idclvheblmh l ehjhmh - zhprhvi u svdmu ij dnh smi shsthvfbdel l ti ehs picrdd%Roin tinh bd iprhvjheh tvrjebh jh bd svhtci ij ehs bdjlestvde l edpieivfblv& hfl jh smilphc svl fbujsch olh%

Pibhm eirmhfeistl ioukvhh svd td ehd tbdfdsed l pslkificd rhzflcd& hfl jiedcd nrhelad& lfl tielbd rddei - ji edclk nrhelah cibd su spdalgled zh pibdjleh glzlch lpslklch svibstvh% Ied cibl su lzvhe tlk nrhelah ehbdd ehzlvhbu hoeirmhfelmh&oifdselmh& ediolelmh lfl lzuzdtei jruclblmh%

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9/85

Edmh meini smlsfh ohvltl sd ivjbd rhzflltlm jdglelalbhmh eirmhfeistl ehtdmdfbu ciblk sd ijrdubu nrhelad ueuthr ciblk sd ehfhzd eirmhfel& h lzvheciblk su ielcibd edci jrutvi lfl cufturh smhtrh edeirmhfelmh% Rh ehu bd svrku jivifbei ustvrjltljh su edcd ij ehvdjdelk l meitvh edehvdjdelk rhzflch mdu fbujlmh tiflci vdflcd jhpibdjlead& edivlsei i cufturl u cibib lvd lfl ehriju cibdm prlphjhbu& vd eh prvl pinfdjled rhzflltlmh ij vdled% Ivi rhzflcivhebd ij vdled ubdjei bd l bdjhe ij ehbddupitrdofbhvhelk crltdrlbh eirmhfeistl u svhcijedveim lvitu& ph su ehm thcieirmhfel iel cibl su chi ml lfl chi vdleh ehs% Wdleh fbujl ed smhtrhrhzflltlmhied cibl sd lstlu edclm pizltlvelm svibstvim lfl spisioeistlmh& chi ti su fbdpith lfledch lzrhzlth ehjhrdeist& lhci su l td isiod vrfi rhzflltd ij vdled& vd ied cibl su rhzflltleh edcl ednhtlvhe ehle% Prl timd trdoh ijmhk lsthceutl jh sd rhzflltist el u cibdmsfuhbu ed ijeisl eh albdfu isiou& vd uvlbdc shmi eh edcu ebdzleu vljfblvu lfl edvljfblvuisioleu& chrhctdrlstlcu& svibstvi lfl scfieist%

Tzmdmi fl zehhbei rhzflcivhebd ij vdled chi crltdrlb rhzjvhbhebheirmhfelk ij rhzflltlk& thjh bd prlmbdrdelbd nivirltl i rhzflltlm l vdlesclm fbujlmh&umbdsti i eirmhfelm l hoeirmhfelm% Zhci midmi rdl jh& pslkificl nfdjhei& uvdlescd fbujd uorhbhmi ied cibl rdfhtlvei zhjivifbei lvd l mhebd-vld uspbdeiiohvfbhbu svibd lvited zhjhd u ioltdfbl& eh pisfu l svhcib jrunib lviteib sltuhalbl& h jhprl timd elcimd jrunimd ed eheisd tdtu%

Chj sd rhjl i glzlclm svibstvlmh vdlesclk fbujl& iejh tu& mdu isthflm&uorhbhmi abdfivltist tlbdfh +epr% pisbdjivhebd svlk ujivh,& tbdfdseu vlsleu l tdleu uijrddelm nrhelahmh& uiolhbdeu spisioeist crdthebh& uiolhbded jlmdezlbd pibdjlelkjlbdfivh tlbdfh l elz jrunlk chrhctdrlstlch cibd su ueuthr prdjvldelk nrhelah% T scfhju stlm smhtrhtdmi rhzflltim isiou cibh bd& eh prlmbdr& zehtei prdmhlfh vlsleu ij ?mdtrh& chi l ieu lbh bd tbdfdseh vlsleh bdjvh prdfh 8 mdthr3 prdtlfu lfl lzuzdtei mrhvuisiou3 ivbdch s edclm mhfgirmhalbhmh jlbdfivh l tlbdfh lfl iein cimd edjisthbu edcljlbdfivl tlbdfh& isiou cibh uipd ed mid kijhtl& chi l ieu cibh sd crdd jruclbd ijjrunlk% Ivhb elz rhzflltlk midmi ehsthvltl isiohmh s itddelm isbdtlflmh&ediolelm ehleim nivirh lfl olfi ciblm jrunlm vljfblvlm ioflcim levhfljltdth%

Pistibd& jhchci& vrstd levhfljltdth cibd elsu vljfblvd l cibd fbujd ed ledrhzflltlmh eh prvl pinfdj& chi ti bdlevhfljltdt uzricivhe edprhvlfeistlmh u rhju edclkueuthreblk irnheh lfl mdethfeh rdthrjlrheist cibh elbd prhdeh l vljfblvlm primbdehmhlznfdjh% Lhci su l ivd jrund vrstd isioh s levhfljltdtim rhzflltd ij vdled& ti sd ed vljlchj lk ednjbd srdtedmi& ph ti l ed mirhmi zehtl hci ehm ti shml ed chu& ti zehl jhsu td isiod u ijrddeib mbdrl zhtlded ij edpisrdjelk ednhtlvelk rdhcalbh vdlesclkfbujl prdmh rhzflltlmh%

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10/85

Chci shm pisthfh trhbei rhzfllth

Zrlehdst nijleh& 80 mbdsdal l ?4 jheh trhbhi bd mib eirmhfel lvit% Bi sd l jhehs&ehcie meini vld ij pifh stifbdh& sbdhm chci shm olfh ijbdvdeh chj shm tin butrhcrdthfh u cifu% Lspij prdcrhtcin zlmscin chputh vlrlfh bd thmeh sucebh cibh bd junlmeidebdm pisthfh edijrdded oibd% Q prdjebd bd strhed edchci vucfh eh thmeipfhvi& hsh strhebd bd strhed ij lzflzheistl ofbdthfh piput infdjhfh% Zi bd bi olfi vrlbdmd chj sdtdcstlf cupivhi eh ticlad& ph bd ti olfh mibh bdjleh sucebh% Tz ebu shm lmhfh olbdfu ofuzus mhflm& usclm ivrhtelcim l flbdpu jvioibeu vdstu cibu ml bd lspfdfh mibh tdth% Wdsth bdolfh& jhchci& ij isththch vued& ph su ruchvl l fdh olfl ij smdd& h prdjeblah ij zdfdedvued oibd mfhjd trhvd% Wdsth bd olfh eivh& mijh shm bd ji tin jheh eislfh tdc bdjeimlfl jvh puth%

Wd md prlflcim usthbhebh oifli zhtlfbhc& zhprhvi flbdvh strheh zhtlfbch& ph shmedchci tdci icrdthfh nfhvu& ti sd eh putu ji cifd bi l pibhhfi% cifh bd ij mibd cudolfh ujhfbdeh svdnh edciflci oficivh& h eh putu sd ehfhzli l bdjhegrlzdrscl shfie s vdflclminfdjhfim u lzfinu% Ehrhvei jh shm svhcl put prifhzdl picrhb tin lzfinh pinfdjhfh svibijrhz u infdjhfu - svhcl put islm tinh butrh& bdr md oif sprlbdlfh jh icrdedm nfhvu prdmhlzfinu%

Qbdhm sd chci su md prlbhtdfblad zhjlrclvhfd zoinsthrhcl ucidein jrhebhtin jheh& chci elshm minfh icrdeutl nfhvu prdmh flbdvim rdju cfuph& cibl bd oli lzmdurdjh u cibdm shm sbdjlfh l prizirh%

Eh putu ji cud pisthfi ml bd edchci sfhoi& ph shm bdjvh prifh thb crhtcl put%Ehvddr shm pidfh pivrhhtl& jiolfh shm l vlsicu tdmpdrhturu& ph bd mhmh zhcfbulfhjh shm ipdt edti picuplfh% Mib bd itha oli ednjbd eh sfuodeim putu& h mhbch bd tu

ei prdsdflfh orhth u eblkivu siou& chci ed olk l ebdnh zhrhzlfh% Ieh bd ijfulfh sphvhtl shmeim& uvbdrdeh jh dmi iobd privdstl mlreu ei& bdr d md vlsich tdmpdrhturh skrvhtl%

Ici pieil shm prdsthfh pivrhhtl& hfl su thjh ijbdjeim pidfl itrl& lzuzdteisehel oifivl u crllmh% Elshm minfh el fdhtl el sbdjltl& vd shm cfdhfh u crdvdtu eblulsd ehprlbdj-ehtrhn& chci olk edchci lzjrhfh td prijired oifivd cibl su ml rhzjlrhflcrhfbdelau% lel ml sd jh bd ti trhbhfi jhelmh& lhci ml bd mhbch chselbd lsprlhfh jh bdprdsthfi ehcie edciflci shtl% Prioujlfh shm sd ij oifivh cibl su shjh jifhzlfl lz ruculeinu& fdh l troukh% Oifli md svhcl jli tlbdfh& lelfi ml sd chi jh bd eh mdel edcl nifdml


11/85

tdrdt& ph sd bdjvh mldm% Tspbdfh shm sbdstl% Hfl chj shm usthfh& flbdvh sd einh shvleufhpij mibim tdleim& chi einh crpded futcd% Elshm vld minfh usthtl& h el uz pimimhbcd elshm minfh sthtl eh tu einu% L thci bd pifhci mib eirmhfel lvit crdeui svimcrhbu% Torzi elshm vld uipd minfh usthtl& ph el sbdstl& ehcie tinh sd vldelshm minfhel icrdeutl fddl u crdvdtu% Minfh shm& jijud& l jhfbd nivirltl& ti edd zhujltl iedcibl md pizehbu ulvi& l fddl eh flbdvim oicu icrdthtl strhelad ceblnd cibu shm lthfh%

Ehcie tbdjhe jheh& chj md prdnfdjhfi edciflci flbdelch& ij ciblk |d svhcl&clmhbul nfhvim ehj miblm sthebdm& pieujli edcu jlbhneizu& lelfi sd jhol sd svl minflsfiltl ici ipd uphfd lvhah& ti ol tumhlfi oifivd cibd shm isbdhfh l eh ehbfhnhelbljijlr% Lhci bd ti olfi vrlbdmd chj bd svlbdtim khrhfh jbdbh phrhflzh ij cibd su strdplfl svlrijltdfbl& elcimd elbd phfi eh phmdt jh su mibl slmptiml zhprhvi cfhslel slmptimljbdbd phrhflzd% Oujul jh sd jbdbh phrhflzh u prhvlfu pibhvfblvhfh tlbdcim fbdtelk vruleh&h svd sd ti jinhhfi edti prlbd Oilh& svl su sd usmbdrlfl ehuphfu lvhah s ediobheblvimphrhflzim% Jrunl bd rhzfin zouebdeistl flbdelch olfh lebdelah jh bd cij mded pistibhfhshmi pisvdmhebh edminueist crdthebh& uz shuvheu isbdtfblvist& ph shm thci&ehhfist& trpbdfh oifivd& ti cij vdled ioifbdflk ij jbdbd phrhflzd elbd oli sfuhb%

Mibsd itha ciehei vrhtli s puth l lstin md jheh smbdstli u oifelau lz cibd shmlzhfh ehcie > mbdsdal% T oifelal su eh tdmdfbu prdtrhnh ciehei pisthvlfl jlbhneizujbdbd phrhflzd& h uz ebu l rdfhtlvei fiu prineizu& tb% mhfu vbdribhteist jh u ipdtprikijhtl%

Chjh jhehs& sh lvitelm lscustvim cibd su ml jielbdfd nijled l zehebdm cibdml bd jielbdfh struch& nfdjhm uehtrhn eh sdod lz tin vrdmdeh& ehbdd vljlm elz crhtclkdplzijh& piput uorzhein glfmh cibl edtci prdmithvh chci ol pinfdjhi shmi edcd sadedcibd nh zhelmhbu%

Olfh shm vlsich zh sviblk 81 l edti nijleh& jrunh pi vlslel u rhzrdju& lhci olsvh thjhebh jbdah u uspirdjol s jhehebim olfh elh ij prisbdch% Fbdti prlbd td zlmd&

privdfh shm s 10 ehboifblk plielrh nrhjh Rhnrdoh eh mhrrutl criz Rhnirbd% dsti smijhebu pbdhlfl& ehvddr sbdjlfl uz finirscu vhtru& jrulfl sd l zhfbuofblvhfl& nitivisvhcijedvei u edcin jrunin& chci ti vd olvh u tib jiol% Ehbdd& jhchci& u iein tciehm bd pisvdlvhi vld phebd& rdzohrli ehbfbdpd vroled lod lfl s ehmh jlbdfli cifhd cibdsmi rlbdtci uipd l vljbdfl& h jhehs lk uipd ed olsmi el svrsthfl u tu chtdnirlbu krhed%

Bhsei sd sbdhm ehlk ijmbdrhvhebh eh putu lz cifd& chj su jbdvibladupirei lnrhfd bdjeu td lstu lnru2 Zci lmh ehbfbdpd%%% il& eind& pfdtdelad& rucd& zuod(Zi sd& jhchci& mlbdebhfi lz jheh u jhe& hfl bh shm nitivi odzlzelmei piobdlvhfh u

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12/85

einhmh% Mibd su& ehvijei& olfd ehbfbdpd& ehbjud +u thjheblm jlmdezlbhmh(,& h dstil ehbord% Qbdhm sd thgdtd eh srdjebicifscim lnrhfltu& u cibib bd svhch nruph mirhfheharthtl& ti ord jhchci& vlslohou% Bh shm trdohfh eharthtl bdjeu ij fhtlah eh vd sciriehartheim avlbdtu% Bhsei sd sbdhm chci trlm prdmh pfil& kvhthm crdju& arthm fhtlau lprlbd edni ti u itrhtl ehtrhn u jbdflu sdcuejd vljlm eh trlolel svin rhzjrhnhein iah%

Tz lnru tci lmh ti ehbfbdpd rdjivlti su ehs eh prlstibeib ujhfbdeistl prhtlfljdcl& cibl ol ehs zlml nrujhfl& h pi tipflbdm sd vrdmdeu ehstibhfl ucfbultl u ehu lnrusviblm prlbdjfizlmh% T ti pisflbdrhtei vrlbdmd dsti smi ijfhzlfl l u jvirltd susbdjedcifd& njbd olsmi sd hscim pijlbdflfl u jvlbd nrupd& svhch sh sviblm viim l vibelalmh&l crdeufl u lnru rhth% _ht sd vijli eh crivu vdflcin scfielth& h shstibhi sd u timd jh sdsupriteu edprlbhtdfbscu slfu u ti vddm oribu ijvud eh ufhz u scfieltd l ehtbdrh jhsld stdpdelahmh l thmi dch crhb oltcd% Nfhvel bd hr& ehrhvei& oli u timdjh su jdclvucfl jbdviblad cibd su lm sd svlhfd& bdr su thci jiolfl minueist jh lk ukvhtd l jrd zhrucd& h lstu su minueist cirlstlfd l jbdviblad& kvhthbul l ijvfhdl svibd slmphtlbd%dsti shm lz thcvlk rhtivh& h eh uhs mibd mhmd& jifhzlfh cul s itrneutlm ruchvimkhfbled lfl jdpivlmh cibl su vlsbdfl bi shmi ehbdjeim cielu% dsti smi sd lutrclvhfl%Bdjeim shm s pdtirlaim jbdhch lz min rhzrdjh crdeufh u utrcu ij clehZucheha ji Mdtrivldvh Rjdeah lvith l svd lk piolbdjlfh% Bi jhehsisbdhm chci mdij ujhrhah i hsghft pdcu thohel u theclm shejhfh-mh%Olfh shm jlvfbd jlbdtd& tucfh shm sds jdclmh& pdebhfh sd pi inrhjhmh Lzmdu jvirlth& sthoflmh s vidm& crivivlmhscfhjlth lfl nhrhh u ehdm oficu%Wifbdfh shm cflzhebd eh Qhfhtl& eh cflzhfbchmh cibd shm

jlbdflfh sh sthrlblm orhtim& ph olk lk svhcl put mirhfh pisdoelm cfbudm itcfbuhtl lstlseutl& chci olk lk prlfhnijlfh vdfllel miblk stiphfh% dfbdfh shm oltl nfumlah& ph shmhc bdjeim l sujbdfivhfh u bdjeib prdjsthvl thjhebdn Plielrscin chzhflth% Lnrhfh shm& elmhebd el vld& edni Hetu Phvdflh cibdm su sual +oh mibd jvlbd prlbhtdfblad, sujlfl zhebdnivh zfijbdfh%

Zlc prlbd mibd oifdstl pidfi sd u ioltdfbl rhznivhrhtl i minueistl jh ednjbdpisujlmi sclbd& ph jh md orht td zlmd pivdjd eh Qfbdmd l mhfi piul sclbhebu% Zi mdslfei vdsdflfi& uehti timd jh bd bi olfi pij vdflclm zehcim plthebh%

T ti prdjoilei vrlbdmd itcrlfh shm u mhbleim irmhru jvh mhtdrlbhfh zhfbdted khfbled& cibd bd edchci uspbdfh cupltl scupfbhbul ticlad% Zi bd zh mded zehlfi jhsfbdjddn fbdth vld edu mirhtl sbdjltl eh cuklebscim ohfcieu l dchtl jh sd isul mibhbdjleh fbdteh khfbleh chci olk minfh crdeutl u cifu lfl sll u jvirltd% Olfh bd& srdim& ijedcin thecin mhtdrlbhfh cibl sd orzi suli& ph olk bh sbdjlfh eh mhfim stiflu eh ohfcieul nfdjhfh chci khfbleh pistupei& ijizni prdmh jifbd& pisthbd svd svbdtflbh& ph olk thci lodz privbdrhvhebh zehfh jh sd ciehei isulfh% H shj su& ijbdjeim& u irmhru olfh jvh

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13/85

mhtdrlbhfh& zh jvlbd khfblelad& ti bd u miblm ilmh lelfi sfbdjdd fbdti iodheimzdmfbim u cibib u bdjeisthvei zhsbdeltl svd suphrelad l ipleltl svd jdcd%

Bdjeim shm s pdtirlaim jbdhch crdeufh u utrcu ij cleh Zucheha ji MdtrivldvhRjdeah lvith l svd shm lk piolbdjlfh% Bi jhehs isbdhm chci md ij ujhrhah i hsghft

pdcu thohel u theclm shejhfhmh%

Zi sfbdjdd fbdti privdfh shm u oifelal& ehjhbul sd bi uvlbdc jh u sd bdjeinbutrh prioujltl l pitrhtl elz flvhju lsprdj oifelcin ijbdfh eh cibdm su md flbdlfl%

Elbdchebd levhfljltdth

Edpisrdjei ehcie pibhvd oifdstl& edsrdd lfl ujdsh& zh cibd sd mid rhzumeiprdtpisthvltl jh d isthvltl trhbed l vljfblvd pisfbdjlad& pibdjleha& edivlsei cibdbd jiol&elbdd& ednlrh minueist trhbein itddebh& crieled oifdstl lfl vljfblvlk pisfbdjlah% Zielbdchebd lmh u pidtcu zh- tlteu guecalbu& bdr tltl isiou ij ehnfin suihvhebh s albdflmipsdnim edvifbd cibh bu bd sehfh& ph sd thci eh prlmbdr mfhjl cibl bd scicim uMufusfimli crhfbdelau ed mirh ijmhk suiltl s lebdelaim jh vld edd mil kijhtl%Zhcvi ol ehnfi suihvhebd minfi pibdjleah tiflcipslkificl pinijltl& jh sd uipd ed

8?


14/85

ol minhi el picuhtl eisltl sh tlmd ti nh dch% Ehjh& ph mhchr l edrhzumeh& jh d svrdmdeim& tlbdcim flbddebh lfl rdkholflthalbd& svd ti pril& jisfivad iminuubdprdlvfbhvhebd l itvhrh put prdmh pistupeib prlfhnijol eh iei ti sd vld ed midprimlbdeltl%

Pieisei shm svim flbdelcu prliplfhsvib zhcfbuhc jh shm bhlsth chi ti shm uvlbdcolfh l chj prikijhm svd ti d oltl primlbdebdei shmi bd edciflci mllh% Idclvhfh shm

pikvhfu& hfl lzh ebdnivlk ihfh nfdjhfh su md jvh ich pueh suzh%

Lhci svl struebhal cibl zorlebhvhbu oifdseu lfl izflbddeu isiou ehbdd edzehbu prhvi sthebd stvhrl& olfi ol jiori jh nh u prvlm jhelmh ed prlipubu el pinideib

isiol& el ebdzleib ioltdfbl% Qvlmh bd eblmh pitrdoei isthvltl ohrdm trhhc ehjd jh d sdsthebd pinided isiod pioifbhtl& h jh lm prl timd ed bhmlmi el trhbei lzfbddebd eledsthehc svlk pisfbdjlah% Chdmi fl ijmhk pitpueu l prdjvljlvu lstleu fheivlmhioltdfbl& edcl d sd ij eblk pij tlm tdrdtim sfimltl& pichzhtl svim pinideim fheuioltdfbl jh edmh ehjd l vfhstltlm mu ihbdm bi vld itdhtl ipirhvhc% Tvlbdc lmhvrdmdeh zh vlbdstl cibd euei zehd junitrhbhe l mucitrphe ipirhvhc& td tdcu l oifeuprlfhnijou% L pinideib isiol l ebdzleib ioltdfbl trdoh jipustltl ijrddei rhzjiofbdelbdchebh stvhreistl& ph lm thjh pimil jh pistupei l shml& pisthvfbhbul plthebh lehnhhbul ijnivird& pieu svib pivrhthc u stvhreist% Zdc thjh trdoh pistupelmjhvhebdm tielk legirmhalbh lzvul pibdjleah lz ednlrhebh stvhreistl& eujdl mu

81


15/85

lstijioei minuh rbddebh cibh d uofhltl ednhtlved pisfbdjlad trhumd lfl oifdstl% Zhcisd ehjh u pitpuel edsthehc pisfbdjlah lfl u lzfbddebd& cibh edsthbd suihvhebdm shstvhreiu& mid ehjimbdstltl ehjim u pistlzhebd ijrddein ipirhvch& vrhhebd edclkspisioeistl& istvhrlvhebd ijrddelk alfbdvh%

Piuch l prdpiruch

Qvl ml l u svhcijedveim lvitu& cibl elbd iptdrdde pisdoelm edvifbhmhlfl edsrdhmh& prlobdnhvhmi pivrdmdei elbdchebu edclk pibhvh cibdbhsei prlmbdubdmi l prdpizehbdmi& hfl sd u jheim trdeutcu ed midmis eblmh eisltl% Zhci& eh prlmbdr& suprund cibd bhsei vljd jh lk suprun dflehpustltl& cibd bhsei ubu ebdnivd ehbhvd prdcljh lfl ijfhsch& cibd isbdhbu

svd vdu ujhfbdeist lzmdu sdod l phrtedrh& dsti upirei shmd sdolelbdu svd ti vljd& ubu l isbdhbu& ehjhbul sd jh crlvi vljd l ubu lflidcubul jh svd ti edchci prid% Chtchj sd ti l jinijl& hfl chj sdeblkivl strhkivl l istvhrd& rhzjiofbd ednlrhebh iminulfi lm bd ijrddeuprlprdmu eh edmleived primbded& cibh lm u ciehelal ifhchvh lprlfhnijou eh iei ti sd ed mid primlbdeltl%

Qvd ti bd rddei ijeisl sd& jhchci& shmi eh elbdchebd stvhreistl cibh sd

ed mid primlbdeltl& eltl u jheim trdeutcu prlkvhtltl& h ed l eh ednlrhebdpibhvh& sltuhalbh lfl priofdmh cibd midmi rlbdltl lfl s ciblmh sd midmieisltl%

Zlbdcim prvh jvh mbdsdah oifdstl& jic bi uipd elshm minfh el sbdjltl elkijhtl& privdfh shm u oifelal oribed odshed eil% Chci sd shmh elshm minfh el icrdeutlu crdvdtu& h sdstrd olsd fbutlfd chj olk lk tlbdcim eil zvhfh jh ml u timd pimineu& dstishm picuhvhfh nfdjhtl u jrund ijbdfd oifelad l prhtltl ti sd thmi jinhh%Qbdhm sdeil u cibib shm juni vrdmdeh primhtrhfh sdstru cibh bd eh pdjlbhtrlbl& isvlbdtfbdeib

edcim pfhvlhstim svbdtfiu& upirei picuhvhfh umlrltl jlbdtd cibd bib bd pfhchfi ehruchmh% Zhjh shm prvl put pidfh rhzmlfbhtl i minulm pisfbdjlahmh phrhflzd% Edchcishm vbdrivhfh jh u ipdt prikijhtl& tltdl sd vhfbjh ednlrhebdm minudn edpivifbeinlskijh& hfl shm lstijioei zehfh jh su hesd zh edcl pitpueieirmhfhe kij zhedmhrlvd lfl elchcvd% Prdj ilmh su ml sd rdjhfd sflcd jbdadcibh su kijhfh pimiu edclk irtipdjsclk pimhnhfh u vlju mdthfelk lpcl& cibd su lmpijuplrhfd eind u vlsici zhtvirdelm alpdfhmh% Zlbdcim td jund odshed eil zhcfbulfhshm jh u svd uleltl jh ipdt prikijhm l bdjein jheh lvlm shmisthfei& mh ti tizehlfi%

8:


16/85

Picuhfh shm thjh rhzmlfbhtl i timd ti d svd ti zehltl zh mib lvitu cifl&ijeisd s prlbhtdfblahmh l jdclmh s ciblmh shm lfh u cifu% Rhcfbulfh shm tlbdcim tdjund eil jh d svd ti d sd primlbdeltl oltl mibl mlll% Wbdribhtei d edcl ij eblk -thci ml bd ohrdm rdchi mib ijbdfel flbdelc - ijumrlbdtl& ph u kijhtl s ielmh cibl mlprdisthfl%

Elshm thjh bi zh thb kij el u sdol cirlstlfh elchcvd ehzlvd& shmi shmmlsflfhjh u kijhtl jruclbd& mijh pifhcd& h mijh l pimhfi lscrlvfbdei l tdci& hfl lphc-kijhtl% Rhcfbulfh shm l jh d ti ubdjei oltl svd ti d sd primlbdeltl& bdr u bh u svdmuisthfimd isthtl bh - thcvh chcvh shm uvlbdc l olfh% Q tlm shm zhcfbucim ciehei zhsphfh&jielbdvl prlbd tinh ijfucu jh ijmhk sfbdjddn jheh i timd pirhznivhrhm sh sviblmflbdelcim%

Mib bd ijbdfel flbdelc oli lzuzdtei jrhnh& pi mim suju sthrlbh isioh& ti zehljh bd u ti vrlbdmd minhi lmhtl ici 40 nijleh% Eisli bd ihfd s theclm zfhtelm ruoim&lzh ciblk su olfd tipfd& oflbdjipfhvd il lzehj ciblk sd jlzhfi vlsici dfi cibd bd&edimdthei cisim& sdzhfi nitivi ji tbdmdeh% Oli bd jdurhe sfbdjdd vddrl& ph md&chi l dsti prlbd tinh& jhi sthvltl eh ciflah l ijvdstl u svibu irjlehalbu chci olsmi prlhfli ceblnhmh cibd lthm l cibd su chtchj l ebdnh zhelmhfd&

T bdjeim jhku lsprlhfh shm mu svibh rhzmlfbhebh lz prdtkijed eil% Pieisei

shm mu prliplfh svib zhcfbuhc jh shm bh& hci dmi prhvi& lsth chi ti shm uvlbdc olfh&shmi ti bi ed kijhm& hfl chj pri-kijhm& ph mh chci ti olfi& svd ti d oltlprimlbdebdei olt d edciflci mllh% Qmlbdlfh shm mu sd& ulstleu zhjivifbeh sviblmrhzmlfbhebdm% Idclvhfh shm pikvhfu& hfl lzh ebdnivlk ihfh nfdjhfh su mdjvh ich puehsuzh% _dchi bd shmi2 Ijvdst dmi td u siou& shj shm sd sbdtli jh edti mirhm iohvltl%Ebdnivh mdrdhcalbh pitpuei zouelfh% Zdc shm meini chselbd skvhtlfh jh ml elbd lmhisehnd rdl ti md dch chj sd ipdt vrhtlm u svib svlbdt%

T ti vrlbdmd bi elsu u oifelahmh rhjlfl pslkifizl& ph elcimdelbd el phfi eh

phmdt jh ol md trdohfi prlprdmltl eh meinh rhzihrhebh cibh d md jidchtl u mimeivim lvitu s levhfljltdtim& eltl eh meind l vrfi oifed susrdtd s prdjrhsujhmh% Qvd sdti srulfi eh mded chj shm ciehei lzhfh lz oifelad l sprdmhfh sd ehsthvltl cifivhebd%

L% prlbdfimel jinhhb

Tti shm vrlbdmd& jhchci& lmhfh svibu ehboifbu prlbhtdfblau s cibim shm rdjivltiijfhzlfh zhbdjei u cifu& cibh md dsti pisflbd cifd prhtlfh ji cud& chci olsmi putdmminfd lzmlbdeltl svd ehd vhed thbed% Jic shm olfh u oifelal elbd md pisbdlvhfh bdr su

84


17/85

sd rijltdfbl oibhfl jh sd edlm ed zhrhzl& hfl ml sd prvlk mbdsdal pivrdmdei bhvfbhfh mhflmplshmalmh% Bhvlfh shm bib sd chj shm lzhfh lz oifelad3 svh uzoudeh prlhfh shm bib chcidmi shjh mil ipdt zhbdjei u cifu& lhci bh kijhm vrfi tdci l pifhci% Elshmspimdeufh jh l lzuzdtei bhci dphm&jh sd svhtci zh meim icrdd& jh ml jiohaubucibdchcvd prlmbdjod% Elbd ml sd lelfi oltelm jh bib ti iplsubdm%

Pisbdtlfh md jvh jheh chselbd l nitivi s vrhth ml rdcfh jh sd vld ed mid jrultlsh meim& jh ed mid sh meim el ji cifd el ij cifd& bdr lmh jdch l ti ol bib ie rdchijh bd vljl sh meim eh uflal9 Ehcie tinh sd icrdeufh l itlfh%

Chj jhehs pimlsflm eh thb susrdt& h ithj bd prifi nitivi 70 nijleh& eh prvimml sd mbdstu vrhh isbdhb pitpued zouebdeistl l edrhzumlbdvhebh%Elshm skvhhfh chcvd

vdzd mibd dphebd lmh s ebdzlelm jdcim& zhti ol sd ti ebdnh uipd tlahfi& zhti sd iehvld ed dfl sh meim jrultl% Elnjbd elbd olfi elcin s clm olk i timdminfh pirhznivhrhtl%Mibl rijltdfbl l mib sthrlbl orht mirhfl su sd l shml edchci prlfhnijltl eivib sltuhalbl uioltdfbl - mim levhfljltdtu% Qvhtci bd s tlm lmhi sviblk priofdmh& hfl sd i timd uipdelbd nivirlfi& islm u vdzl s miblm ijfhsalmh u cifu& eh glzlchfeu tdrhplbu& iovdzelm&junitrhbelm viebhmh olalcfim l flbdelclm prdnfdjlmh%

Ehcie pisbdth mibd jithjhebd prlbhtdfblad privdfh shm nitivi albdfh trl jhehsbdjdl eh cuklebscim ohfcieu& ehvijei arthbul flpu u jvirltu% Bi md l jhehs mlrls

flpd pijsbdtl eh th trl odsciehei junhch jheh& chj shm pij lzflcim edcd sfhoistl lflehjifhzdd oifdstl eh tim ohfcieu ijfulvhfh ti u jhfbd uleltl sh sviblm lvitim%Ijbdjeim shm sd mirhfh suiltl s lebdelaim jh mibh tdirlbh i jvh-trl priphfh mllhilti elbd tieh% Qkvhtlfh shm& lfl ml sd ohrdm thci thjh lelfi& jh bd mib jithjhebl lvitzhvrde& jh sd vld eltci edd sh meim jrultl l jh shm ijbdjeim& lz mdel u prvimtrdeutcu edjiculvlk rhzfinh& isthfh odz svlk prlbhtdfbh l prlbhtdfblah%

Elshm thjh bi eh svu srdu uipd prdtpisthvlfh jh ol sd edtci minhi srhmltlsh meim bhvei pichzhtl& ph shm pimlsflfh jh sd rhjl i mim spirim l mucitrpeim

kiju& cibl ol bu bdjeisthvei leli edstrpfblvimlfl mijh i strhku jh ed phjedm9 Mijhsd shmi plthfh chci kl ml thjh minfh pimil9

Zlbdcim th junhch trl jheh rhzmlfbhfh shm l i timd trdohm fl sd ipristltl ijlvith lfl pistibl edcl jrunl lzfhz lz tin svd vddn mrhch9 Hfl cibl9 Chchv9 Tz lbu pimi9

Zrddn shm jheh ciehei priehfh rbddebd zh svibu mucu& ijfulfh shm jh mlvld eltci edd trdohtl tumhltl chci ed mid sh meim ll uflaim& bdr u bh bdjeisthveilzorlshtl svd cibd pizehbdm lzsvin prifin lvith% L td jvlbd rlbdl prifl lvit piminfd

87


18/85

su ml jhskvhtlm jh bd mib prvl lvit zhvrde& ciehei l trhbei& ph shjh mirhm zhpidtledcl eivl l jruclbl% L thci shm ijfulfh jh vld elcinh tin prifin lvith edu vldprdpizehtl eh uflal& edu lm uzvrhtltl pizjrhv hci md sfuhbei pizjrhvd& edu eltrdpthbdm ich pichzhtl jh lk prdpizehbdm3 crdeut u shsvlm lz pidtch l jrultl sd shmis ielmh cibd oujdm upizehfh u svim eivim lzjhebu%

Zhci shm l ulelfh l tdc shm edciflci nijleh chselbd pidfh eh stujlbu pieiveirhznivhrhtl s edclmh ij ielk s ciblmh shm pikhhfh iseiveu cifu%

Piuch l prdpiruch

_dhcalbd jrunlk fbujl eh isiod s levhfljltdtim lfl edclm vljfblvlm iolfbdbdm

cibl lk lel rhzflltlmh ij vdled& ivlsd i meini lmodelch ij ciblk sustdrditlpl l prdjrhsujd shmi bdjhe jli%

Fbujl dsti lzobdnhvhbu isiod s levhfljltdtim hci ed zehbu uzricebdnivinehsthech Meinl sd oibd edcd zhrhzed oifdstl lfl bdjeisthvei edzehbu i dmu ol rhznivhrhfl s edclm tci bd tiflci rhzfllt ij eblk% Rh isiodcibd elsu rided s levhfljltdtim& vd su nh zoin oifdstl lfl edcd trhumdstdcfd chselbd u lvitu& ehbbdjeisthvelbd bd rbddebd icrdeutl sd

eivlm fbujlmh& cibl lk elsu pizehvhfl prlbd levhfljltdth l cibl lk kid lfl eddprlkvhtltl chi isiod s levhfljltdtim% Qvl tl fbujl u prlflal su shml ijfultlkid fl sd jrultl s edclm tci bd vljfblvi rhzfllt +epr% odz rucd lfl eind&lzrhzlti elzhc& tci lmh edcl tbdfdsel edjisththc cibl imdth crdthebd lfl nhlel ujelm ltj%,& ti bd tdd hci pistibl pizehestvi lz vrdmdeh prlbdehsthech levhfljltdth%

Isioh s levhfljltdtim trdoh jrunlm& eivlm fbujlmh isthvltl lzoir lzmdujrudebh l edjrudebh l eh thb ehle lzobdl eddfbded l oifed rdhcalbdijolbhebh& imhfivhhvhebh lfl lzobdnhvhebh% Ehcie thci vdflclk lvitelkprimbdeh chi ti bd& eh prlmbdr& prlbdfhz lz zjrhvfbh u levhfljeist& euel suedcl jrhstlel rdzivl cibl tltd pinideu isiou ij jijhtelk trhumh& hdsti ifhchvhbu lvit l ielmh s ciblmh sd rhelbd jrulfh%

Qvd ti& jhchci& vrlbdjl shmi zh jrudebd& bdr el u cifl& el eh stujlbu lflrhjeim mbdstu thchv lzoir elbd minu% Zi zehl jh sd iel cibl su vljfblvirhzflltl mirhbu u oribelm lvitelm sltuhalbhmh eisltl s rhzeirhzelm

8>


19/85

rdhcalbhmh jrunlk fbujl& h jh shml minu olrhtl shmi mdu ielmh cibl sddfd s eblmh jrultl%

Prlbhtdfbstvi bd u mfhjdehcib jiol +lzmdu 88% l 8% rhzrdjsdjmifbdtcd lz cibdn shm itlfh u oifelau%

T ti su sd vrlbdmd srdjebd cifd jlbdflfd eh mucd l descd& ti bd mijhprljielbdfi timd jh su md u rhzrdju u cibdm shm kispltlrhfh prlkvhtlfl jiorikitei l odz

8;


20/85

vdlk edunijelk jilvfbhbh% Torzi shm stdcfh edciflci prlbhtdfblah s ciblmh shm : nijledchselbd l mhturlrhfh l s ciblmh sd bi ljhehs pivrdmdei vlhm l jrulm%

deschnlmehzlbh cibu shm pikhhfh olfh bd oflzu mibd cud& ph shm pistupeiminfh uz pimi thph l shmh jil ji ebd% Wd shm tlbdcim td prvl nijled min pieiveincifivhebh skvhtlfh jh d md jbdvibcd u rhzrdju prlkvhtltl hci2 h, ed bhjlcubdm l ed prlhmlm i sviblm tdniohmh l edvifbhmh l o, hci shm prdtdei jiorin l ubdjehdeinrhspifidebh%

Piuch l prdpiruch

Pisthtl ijbdjeim rhzflltim ij vdled fbujl elbd fhci lscustvi hc el chj

sd rhjl i edcib vdflcib pizltlveib primbdel&epr% prdpizehvhebu lzuzdteinthfdeth lfl spisioeistl& cibd edcin led bhci rhzflltlm ij vdled% Bi bdmeini tdd chj sd rhjl i rhzflltistl cibh smhebubd tbdfdseu prlvfheistedcd isiod lfl bd eh olfi cibl ehle lel mhebd scfhjeim u crdthebu& nivirulfl olfi cibib jrunib hctlveistl% Prlfhnijoh eh thcvi sthebd dsti trhbdnijlehmh& ph l jdsdtfbdlmh& h mijh hc elchj l ed prdsthbd& hfl iei tibd euei svhcib eh thb ehle pinideib isiol& ti bd pistlzhebd cietrifdehj vfhstltlm isbdhblmh tund& edsrdd& edprhvjd& strhkh& zhorleutistl l

inirdebh% Zh ol sd cietrifh trdohfh ijeisltl ed eh zhtlrhebd tlk oifelkdmialbh& bdr bd ti l edminud& vd shmi eh eblkivi bhvei lzeidebd& ehbhjlcivhebd l pivbdrhvhebd prlbhtdfblahmh l prlbhtdfblmh ij ciblk sd idcubdrhzumlbdvhebd l suisbdhebd% T ehdfu svhci bhjlcivhebd& ph mhchrjifhzlfi l ij zjrhvd l eirmhfed isiod& ed smlbd prlbdl ijrdded nrheladel u trhbhebu el u letdezltdtu& bdr ti jrunlm fbujlmh smdth& iptdrdubd lk lrlbdtci chj ehlfhzl eh prhvi rhzumlbdvhebd%

Cietrifh vfhstltlk dmialbh svijl sd thci ed shmi eh edlzeidebd ednhtlvelkdmialbh& islm rlbdtclm prlbhtdfblmh l u rlbdtclm prlflchmh& vd l eh pistlzhebd tiurhveitddelbdn ipdn& hci bd minud vdjrin rhspifidebh% Zdc thjh& chj chi isioh slevhfljltdtim pistlnedtd thcvu cietrifu ehj sviblm piehhebdm l dmialbhmh& olt dtd edshmi prlkvhdel ij strhed vdled& vd ehbdd l ulstleu jiorijifl u eblkivi jrutvi%Qvd ti& jhchci& zehl& jh ehbprlbd mirhmi shml& uvlbdc shml& pistll ti oifbu pslklcurhveitdu& cibh d ehm iminultl jh sd u jrutvu jrunlk fbujl piehhmi unijei&fbuohzei l vdjri& ed iptdrdubul elcin sviblm priofdmlmh% Jrunlm rlbdlmh2 tdc chj sdshml lzoirlmi zh ijrddel stupheb prlfhnijod& tdc d ehs thjh prlkvhtltl l prlphjelalvdlescin ehrijh% Hfl l ti vrlbdjl shmi thci juni jic sd piehhmi eh nird iplshel

8


21/85

ehle& bdr iein hsh chj pimlsflmi jh ti prlkvhhebd ucfbuubd l sfioiju jh sd edcimdpihflmi zoin prilvfbdelk lfl trhbei pistibdlk tdnioh& istht dmi pieivei shml llziflrhel%

Eh mibu vdflcu srdu& uorzi lzh prvin prlbdfimein jinhhbh& cibl md thci tdcipinijli& jinijli sd l jrunl& cibl bd eh edcl ehle ohrdm jbdfimlei pieltli ulecdprvin%

LL% prlbdfimel jinhhb

Qvhcl bd jhe prifhzli picrhb ehd nlmehzlbd lz cibd nh bd rdjivlti prhtlfiedciflci jdsdthch phrl uzoudelk ilbu% Wlsic& thehc& u trhpdrlahmh cibd su zhslnureiolfd bdjed ij prvlk u Rhnrdou l olbdfib ciufbl eh cibib su sd ehsfulvhfd thecd prund uedcib phstdfeib oibl& crdthi sd nlpci piput prdjhtirh% Elchj elbd pijlneui pinfdj prdmhprizirlmh jbdvibhcd cifd& elchj sd elbd icrdeui eltl picuhi vljbdtl ijhcfd jifhzluzoude& edrvizhe& edchci prdehprdneut smlbdk jbdvibhch% Nfdjhfh shm nh zhbdjei sjrunlm jbdvibchmh chci prifhzl& nivirdl shmib sdol2 Zhchv md ivbdc elchjh edd elpinfdjhtl%

Bdjein shm nh butrh& nfdjhbul criz prizir& unfdjhfh chci kijh mibim uflaim%Pijlneui bd pinfdj l pinfdjhi md rhvei u flad& jh ol hs lzh tinh crdeui ielm sviblmjunhclm& edchci rhzfhohvfbdelm cirhcim sviblm putdm% Rhtvirlfh shm prizir& uzdfholalcf l uputlfh sd& eisdl nh trl chth elzh stdpdelad& eh svibu svhcijedveu& iovdzeuviebu% Chj shm lzhfh lz cud& nurhbul olalcf prdci einistuph& unfdjhfh shm nh chcistibl lsprdj ufhzh u mibu cuu& priputhbul md smlbddl sd jh pridm pirdj ebdnh jiadstd%

Edti bd rdchi& bh shm scuplfh krhorist l edti ijnivirlfh& cirlstdl lvitehlscustvh svlk sviblk 84 nijleh l edciflci mbdsdal% Qbdfh shm eholalcf l crdeufh& h ie bdcirhhi uz mded& prlhbul ml chci md vd edciflci puth vljli eh olalcfu& chci mu sdsvljbdfi chci sd hflm s jbdaim cibh su sd ehnhebhfh cifelcim& jhbul ml edcd eh lzuzdtheehle srided cimpflmdetd%

Mibh bd viebh mirhfh trhbhtl bdjhe sht& cibl smi privdfl zhbdjei3 bh vizdl olalcf&ie kijhbul uz mded% Jiprhtli md ji cud& plthi md chj dmi sd ipdt vljbdtl l zhchzhishsthehc sfbdjddn jheh prdjvddr% Jinivirlfl smi sd eh unfu cij Qvdulfled oloflitdcdl ipdt crdeufl u dtebu& bh eh olalcfu& ie kijhbul& vlsic& dfdnhethe ivbdc ij ?> ljbdviburhc ij 84 nijleh% Prlhfl smi i ceblnhmh& i timd tci ti lth lfl bd lthi& cimdsd ti svljbdfi& i umbdteistl& i lvitu% Wlhfl smi sd thci edciflci jheh u sutie& kijhfl

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22/85

uflahmh chi zhtvirdel u vdflcim& sbhbeim mbdkuru ij shpuelad& criz cibl su sdpivrdmdei priolbhflzhletdrdslrhm pinfdjl fbujl cibl su prifhzlfl& pimhfi sd ujdl timedioleim phru% Eh rhsthecu ol ml uvlbdc pifbuoli rucu& h bh shm sd& ij ofhdestvh&zhfbuofbdeistl& iplebdeistl l edvbdrlad jh ml sd svd ti zhlsth jinhh& bdjvh usplbdvhfhijrhtl eh svim olalcfu%

Ehcie edciflci jheh pidfli bd jh sd ehdmi odz olalcfh& chieirmhfel fbujl% Odziorhzfidebh piehvfbhfh shm jh ti ed jifhzl u iozlr% Ie elbd skvhhi i dmu sd rhjl&

zhti sd minu shtlmh vizltl pi nrhju& h ed minu sd ehl l sbdstl u chvheu& eh cfupu& itllu clei9

Ehcie edciflci jheh pidfli bd jh sd ehdmi odz olalcfh& chi eirmhfel fbujl&jh ednjbd sbdjedmi l piplbdmi chvu& jh mijh ijdmi u clei% Elshm ktbdfh eh ti prlsthtl

l odz iorhzfidebh shm piehvfbhfh jh ti ed jifhzl u iozlr% Ie elbd skvhhi i dmu sdrhjl& zhti sd minu shtlmh vizltl pi nrhju& h ed minu sd ehl l sbdstlu chvheu& eh cfupu&itll u clei9 Pieujli ml bd jh jid pi mded jimh& jh nh vljd rijltdfbl& plthi md rhjl flsd mijh i timd jh ed zehm ti olk ioucfh lfl edmhm ti ioul9 Elshm mu minfh rdli dmu sd rhjl& bdr bdjeisthvei elbd olfi ehleh jh ivbdcu cibl ml bd ujvhrhi& cibl mdsmhtrhi flbdpim l phmdteim l cibl md pitpuei ihrhi chdm chci bd jhelmh dthi stdclm levhfljim% Elshm minfh lzehl ehle jh mu ti chdm l suilm sd s ebdnivlmzhprdphtdebdm& hfl nh vld elshm minfh ehnivirltl eltl eh ehsthvhc ehlk dtebl% Bdjeinbd pdtch ijfuei rdchi jh vld edd jil hci mu ed chdm i dmu sd rhjl% Iodhfh shm

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23/85

mu tirdl u suoitu ehvddr% Crdeufl smi criz rhel sutie eh bi bdjeu dtebu zhnrdohclmuflahmh% Prlhfl smi i svdmu l svhdmu& chi l rhelblk jheh& h chj bd prifi ehd vrlbdmdl chj smi sd trdohfl rhsthtl& jhfh shm mu plshmad l ipristlfh sd s eblm& tvrjdl jh zehmchci sd& chj nh prilth& vld eddmi vljbdtl% Ehplshfh shm u edciflci crhtclk rddelahbdjeisthveu lstleu i jbdbib phrhflzl cibu shm prdoifbdfh prlbd edti vld ij nijleu jheh&i svim lzuzdtei lscrlvfbdeim kiju& i timd chci sd i timd edmh ti vldrdl% Ie bddfli& jhchci ed prilthvl mibd plshmad& jh sd jinivirlmi zh bi bdjhe shsthehc& tdctiflci& zh svhcl sfuhb& smbdchbul sd u il jbdviblal cibh sd zoin edcd olzhred zhmlsflrhsthbd ij ivbdch s ciblm tiflci ulvh rhznivhrhtl& jlshtl& olvhtl%

Elshm sphvhfh albdfu ei ij uhsh& strhkh& mucd l phtebd% Pivrhhfh shmedciflci puth& ij pfhh su ml ehtdcfd l piarvdebdfd il& h iejh sdciehei pifhci pidfijheltl% Pibhvli sd criv susbdjed cud& lbl shm rhspirdj sthrlk l eivlblk arbdpivh zhphmtlfhtin prhscizirbh zh albdfl lvit% Jinivirlfl smi sd jh d md dchtl u < shtl lsprdj arcvdsv% Ofhh% Crdeufh shm ij cud olalcfim chi l uvlbdc ji thjh& zheisdl sd ij edmil&lsarpfbdeistl l strhkh% Qhmh shm sdod uvbdrlfh jh ie edd jil& hfl jh lphc trdoh itll jiarcvd l uvbdrltl sd jh nh edmh% H iejh shm nh vljbdfh vd lzjhfdch chci md dch crhbtdfdgiescd nivirelad% Wlsic& ehsmlbdde& svbdd iorlbhe l urdde& ehsphvhe l smlrde%Prdjfili bd jh ijdmi ji ioflebdn Bdfdeivah& ph smi& chi l svlk rhelblk jheh& crdeuflthmi eh uiolhbde ehle2 bh eh olalcfu& ie kijhbul pirdj mded% Prlhfl smi i svdmu lsvhdm& ti elshm el ufh el uphmtlfh% Olfh shm svbdseh shmi jvlbd lebdelad2 prvd& jh bdjihi zehbul zh mibu iedspisiofbdeist l jrund& jh sd svhclm icrdthbdm pdjhfh l svhclmebdnivlm cirhcim prloflhvh hs chj u mirhtl sll s olalcfh l picuhtl kijhtl pirdjebdnh& uz ebdnh& lsprdj ebdnh%

Crdeufl smi putdfbcim u umu& h ie md ehcie edcin vrdmdeh ebdeipithceui jh sthedm& sldm s olalcfh l& nurhbul nh& ehsthvlm kijhtl uz ebdnh& s olalcfimlzmdu ehs l pinfdjim usmbdrdelm vrsti prdmh ehprlbdj% Elshm dfbdfh ukvhtltl el bdjheebdniv pinfdj& eltl bdjhe lzrhz ebdnivh flah& ktbdfh shm shmi utl ebdniv nfhs cibl bdsmlrdei edti prlhi l prl timd edchci smhebltl svibd uzoudebd% Lmhfh shm pitpueimicrd rucd l dchfh shm hs chj d s rucd olalcfh pidtl phjhtl chpfblad zeibh% Pitpueiodsmlsfdei rhzmlfbhfh shm i timd chci phjim eh uthoheu zdmfbu edd prilzvdstlelchchv zvuc% Phst d u tllel& u cibib chi jh su ml rucd pfhchfd ij strhkh%

Jifl smi ji sthrd jrvded cfupd& ie bd uzdi mib olalcf& ehsfieli nh lzh cfupd lzhtlm smi zhbdjei sbdfl eh ebu% Rhnrfli md ici rhmdeh& nfdjhfl smi sd edtrdmlad u il ltin shm hsh prvl put vljbdfh chci su mu il shsthvfbded ij mhflk zrehah smdd l zdfdedoibd& mdu ciblmh su olfh l zreah oibd bhethrh% Lmhi bd hrded& pitpuei prhvlfei& piputflcivh lz chfdljisciph& shsthvfbdedhrdelad% lelfi sd chi jh sd nfdjhebdmu td il minuu eblmh lznuoltl& rhzmlul chmdeld mizhlch piput bdsdebdn flh eh umscim tfu lfl

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24/85

micrin mirscin plbdsch pij oislm einhmh% Nfdjhfh shm nh bi trdeuthc lrimitvirdelk ilbu& zhtlm shm lk zhtvirlfh&ehsfielfh sd eh ebdnivi rhmd l - zhsphfh% Junhodsheh ei& prilvfbdel strhk l svd minud strdpebd cibd su md prinielfd td eil pitpueisu md skrvhfd% Qphvhfh shm eh ebdnivim rhmdeu jud ij bdjein shth& h thjh smi crdeuflprdmh nrhju& ie kijhbul uz mded&h bh& chi l uvlbdc& vizdl sd eh olalcfu%

Piuch l prdpiruch

Meini shm ehulfh lz tin prifbdtein lscustvh% Ehulfh shm jh olk& jhedmh min levhfljltdth& hfl mijh l uehti ebdmu& minfh oltl prlvfhehjrunlm fbujlmh% Prvl put shm pimlsflfh jh bd minud jhedcimd ed smdthkijhtl sh meim uflaim& jh mu bd svdbdjei chci sd crddm& jh nh uipd

ed zhelmh ti mlsfd jrunl fbujl% Oli bd ti mhfl trhhc ehjd jh bd l mdel& chil meinlm jrunlm rhzflltlmh& minud lvbdtl piput svlk isthflk%

Jrunh& bi vhelbh piuch& olfh bd jh sd elchjh& hfl zolfbh vld elchjh& edjivdjdm u sltuhalbu jh edtci edmh prlflcd vljbdtl mib levhfljltdt& ph jhthci zhoueim pimlsfl jh prlphjhm vdlescim ehriju% Ithjh olk uvlbdclfl nitivi uvlbdc chj olk ehcie cifd ednjbd sbdfh s prlbhtdfblahmh eh chvu&iein hsh chj ol zh eh stif sbdi edcl edpizehtl mfhjl& usthfh l pifh pi

pld lfl pdpdfbhru& trujdl sd eh svd ehled jh lmh prlflcd vljbdtl chci l ucibib mbdrl dphm%

Chj shm ;-< nijleh chselbd pidfh rhjltl chi hslstdetlah eh Ijsbdcu zhpslkifinlbu& ti bd ucfbulvhfi l jrhebd vbdol zh vdflcd nrupd stujdehthglfiziglbd l sialifinlbd& ehstibhfh shm prikijhtl ohrdm jli prdjhvhebh lflvbdod& chci ol svl lmhfl prlflcd vljbdtl md l fladm-u-flad l fladm-u-fdh%

Rh svd cibl su vljfblvi lfl edvljfblvi jruclbl& lzuzdtei bd vhei svlmh s ciblmhsd upizehbu ti bhselbd l itvirdelbd pichzhtl svibu rhzflltist% Ed midtd ti& jhchci&uleltl shmi edcim lzbhvim piput2 Rehtd& bh vhm bhci dphm& hfl midtd pichzhtlshmlmkijhebdm% Meind su isiod s levhfljltdtim scfied& hci bd minud& prlcrltl svibedjisththc l isbdhtl sd ohrdm eh trdeuthc chi prlphjelal vdled& hfl bd chselbd uvlbdcmeini tdd lzhl eh svbdtfi jheh sh svibim rhzflltiu%

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25/85

Qbdtltd sd prdpirucd jh chi isioh s levhfljltdtim midtd olrhtl shmi mduielmh cibl vhs prlkvhhbu zhbdjei s vhlm edjisthtcim& ph lm stinh pichzlvhebdm svibdrhzflltistl iminultd thb pidtel lzoir%

Piucd su& jhchci& bdjei& h stvhrhe lvit uvlbdc edti jruni% Bi u nlmehzlblpiehjhfh shm sd jh d mibl ijeisl s jrunlm fbujlmh oltl bhselbl l jirddel& chj sd bdjeimpiorledm jh md svl ijmhk vljd u svim mim sbhbu%Hfl el ti elbd oh olfi thcibdjeisthvei chi ti shm sd ehjhfh jh d oltl% Qusrdtl s prdjrhsujhmh pisthbhfl su mhebdnruol2 vld md eltci ij prlbhtdfbh elbd thci nruoi ijohali chi mibh edchjhebh prlbhtdfblah&vhfbjh l zhti ti shm lk meini iprdzelbd olrhfh% Chci shm ijrhsthfh& svd shm rbdd ehuflal ufh prlmbdjod piput mhfh bd flbdph& shmi jh ed dph& cibd su md zehfd ohaltluarel ihb% Elsu prdjrhsujd prdmh mibib rhzflltistl edsthfd& shmi su sd mhelgdstlrhfd ehsuptlfelbd& h tlmd mijh l oifelbd ehled%

T mibdm bd rhzrdju olfi lzuzdtei meini flbdplk l znijelk jbdvibhch& ph su lkeblkivl mimal rdjivlti dchfl prdj cifim% Lbh shm dfbdfh jh md bdjeim edtci jidchprdj cifim l itprhtl ji cud& hflti sd elchjh elbd jinijlfi% T tib su jiol mfhjll olflsprdmel shsthtl sd sh meim& eh prlmbdr& u oithelcim vrtu lfl itll u clei& vizltl sd shmeim shtlmh eh olalcfu& hfl ed l dchtl md prdj cifim njbd ol lk svl minfl vljbdtl% Bishm uvlbdc zhjivifbeh ti thjh elshm prlkvhhfh thcvd prlbdjfind& lhci ti& jhchci& elbdelcinh pithceufi jh md jidch prdj cifim%

Jhehs rhzumlbdm jh bd ti eh tim uzrhstu olfi nitivi edminud l idclvhtl%Elbd ti fhci uleltl el u ijrhsfib jiol& ph chci ol iejh minfi oltl fhci 8> lfl 8;-nijleblmmfhjllmh9

Piuch l prdpiruch

Isiod ciblmh smdth edlbh rhzflltist chtchj sd lphc dmialiehfeivdu uzisiod cibd su rhzflltd lfl isiod s levhfljltdtim% Jinhh sd l jh umdusioeim jrudebu l shsthbhebu zhoirhvd eh levhfljltdt lfl mlsfd jhsu zhoirhvlfl% Hfl eblkivh sd edfhnijh shsvlm edehjheipibhvfbubd hci sfuhbei u jrutvu s isioim s levhfljltdtim srdteu edcinpizehelch% Picuhb scrdthebh u jrunu uflau& ehnfi piurlvhebd cirhchlfl edrvizh zoin min pifhnhein kijh& uvlbdc ol ml bhsei pichzhfljh sd prdjrhsujh prdmh mibib rhzflltistl hctlvlrhfh& ph jh bd stinhvrlbdmd jh sd rhzldmi% Ehstibhfh shm vld ed kijhtl uflaim s fbujlmhciblmh bd smdthfi mibd dphebd& h s vrdmdeim shm rhzvlfh l pisdoeu

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26/85

isbdtfblvist zh prdpizehvhebd eblkivd edunijd% Chj ol edcimd olfiedunijei jh nh vljd sh meim& edivlsei i timd bd fl sd rhjlfi i jbdviballfl mfhjlu& edlbdm rijltdfbu lfl cibdm ehsthvelcu& bh olk sd ijbdjeim

pidfh spitlahtl l pisrthtl& h jinhhfi sd l jh ehnfi& chi picideh&phjedm% Zhb shm mdkhelzhm zhjrhfh albdfl lvit& ph hc bi l jhehsehlfhzlm eh fbujd uz cibd sd zoin eblkivlk prdjrhsujh ijbdjeim pilebdmspitlahtl%

Lhci shm ehulfh jh prdjrhsujd ed sthrd l ed prifhzd shmd ij sdod& ehprlmbdr& shzrlbdvhebdm& vd sd shmi uvrstd l pustd juofbd cirlbded% Lmh ciflci vhs edtci u dtlrl ich uvbdrhvhi chci vhs albdel uehti& usprcislfl oh zoin vhd rhzflltistl& ed isthbtd uz fbujd ciblmh bd edunijei

pichzhtl sd s vhmh eh edcim bhveim mbdstu% Edfhnijh cibu uz eblkisbdhtd& mh ciflci ieh olfh shmi u trhnivlmh& zehc bd jh zhprhvi trdohtdjhtl pdthmh vbdtrh& bdr d vhs prdjrhsujh cibh pistibl iprltl piputmdjuzd eh cibu std ehlfl ulvhbul u miru%

Eltci ij ehs ed mid shm trhbei ucleutl& pieltltl lfl lzorlshtl edlbuprdjrhsuju ph bd stinh slnurelbd lzobdnhvhtl fbujd cibl lk lmhbu% Iei timidmi& hfl svl zhbdjei& l ml rhzflltl l vl vdlescl fbujl& bdst susthvei sd

oirltl pritlv ehsthech l ijrhhvhebh prdjrhsujh u jrutvu u cibdm lvlmi%Hfl jh olsmi ti uipd minfl l zhpidtl& mirhmi sd ehbprlbd ti bd oifbdminud upizehtl s prdjrhsujhmh l stdrditlplmh%

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27/85

_dkholflthalbh

Chj shm pifilfh lspltd l uplshfh sd pieivei u cifu sh sviblm vrebhclebhmh&mibh bd rdkholflthalbh tdc pidfh% Qvhcijedveh tdrhplbh ijuzlmhfh ml bd vdflc jli vrdmdeh&h bi shm sd usti mirhfh ohrdm sht vrdmdeh vizltl nrhjim eh olalcfu% L thci shm svhcinjheh privijlfh nitivi pifh jheh eh rhzflltlm nhfvhelzhalbhmh l mhshhmh& lzmdu ciblkolk dchfh eh rdj& shmh mdu edpizehtlmh& ehbdd sthrlblm dehmh l muchralmh%

Zlbdcim tlk nijleh privdfh shm meini vrdmdeh s jrunlm levhfljlmh& h chj sd

rhjlfi i jbdal l mfhjlmh& l s eblkivlm rijltdfblmh% Olfi bd ielk cibl su sd slfei pirtviveiorleufl zh svibd jlbdtd& chi l ielk cibl su sthfei olfl lrltlrhel& edstrpfblvl& inirdel% Zhcvl olrijltdfbl sthfei svlmh tumhlfl ti lm sd jinijlfi +eblmh(,& chci sd mud& chci edmhbuvrdmdeh vijltl jlbdtd eh tdrhplbu& h iei sd jivifbei ed trujl& ph sfhoi ehprdjubd% Prdjtim vd chtchj l pifuijrhsfim jbdaim nivirlfl su chci ol vld ehprdjivhfh jh jhbu svdij sdod& crlvlfl su lk zh eblkiv spirl ehprdjhc& chtchj hcprlhfl chci lm bd tdci susrdstlsd s prlbhtdfblmh cibl lmhbu zjrhvu jbdau% Qvd su ti th jbdah sfuhfh l trpbdfh& svbdseh jh sueblkivl rijltdfbl puel inirdebh& zhvlstl prdmh jrunlmh& isbdhbh edprhvjd ti dti oh iellmhbu thcvu jbdau% Elchjh elshm ij thcvlk rijltdfbh ufh chci suisbdhbu sh svibimjbdaim& chci lk orled eblkivh sujoleh& chci lm bd hi ti sd eblkivh jbdah tiflci mud%

Tz rijltdfbd cibl su orlei ojbdfl ehj svibim jbdaim& rhjivhfl sd zhbdjei seblmh svhcim l ehbmhebdm ehprdtcu& pieislfl sd eblkivlm ehstibheblmh l trujlfl sdpimil lm eh svhcl minul ehle& olfi bd l ielk cibl su bhvei lzbhvfblvhfl jh lm bdedunijei zoin levhfljeistl eblkivd jbdad% Rehm jh el rijltdfbl levhfljed jbdad elsu lmhflelchcvu pslkificu pitpiru& h ehbdd su lk lzobdnhvhfl l eblkivl rhelbl prlbhtdfbl& chci edol sthfei olfl prlslfbdel sfuhtl eblkivd tdniod l bhjlcivcd% Flbdelal su rlbdtci chj& hciuipd& rhznivhrhfl s rijltdfblmh oifdsed jbdad i eblkivib prlfhnijol& vd shmi i flbddebul tdrhplbl% Hfl svd ti elbd iprhvjhvhfi lebdelau jh su sd edcl rijltdfbl srhmlfl svibd jbdad&chi ti sd mibh edchjhebh prlbhtdfblah srhmlfh ll sh meim uflaim% Zrdohfi ml bd meininijleh jh skvhtlm mucu tlk rijltdfbh l uzricd eblkivh piehhebh%

Whhe jinhhb

Nijleh cibu shm u svim eivim lzjhebu privdfh pieivei u cifl iminulfhbd svlmh jh sd prlvlceu eh mded& h l mdel jh mdju eblmh ehdm l jiord prlbhtdfblad% cifhbd olfh vrfi oflzu mibd cud& ph lhci ml bd l ji ebd trdohfi meini vrdmdeh& usplbdvhfh

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28/85

shm shmhijfhzltl u cifu% H iejh bd ijfudei jh sd u Crlheldvib uflal iseubd bi bdjehdesch nlmehzlbh& u cibu su pistibdd nlmehzlbd pisfhfd pi bdjhe svib rhzrdj% Lz mibd bdcifd oli prdmbdtde uprhvi mib rhzrdj% Jlrdctir cifd iohzrlvi ml bd pieujli jh sd edsdflm u ujhfbdeu cifu& vd jh ijdm u edcl ij prdisthflk rhzrdjh& hfl ti bd bdjeisthveiprdfhzlfi mibd thjhebd& crkcd minueistl prlfhnijod%

Ijfulfh shm itll sh sviblm rhzrdjim& ph ji cifd kijhtl& umbdsti jvh -trl ofich& puelkjdvdt oficivh& ti bd thjh zh mded olfh nifdmh ujhfbdeist% Wiebh trhmvhbdm elbdjifhzlfh u iozlr bdr zh mded bd ufhzhc l lzfhzhc lz trhmvhbh oli piput schchebh sh

sclbhcd schchielad%

L thci shm ijfulfh itll sh sviblm rhzrdjim& ph ji cifd kijhtl umbdsti jvh-

trl ofich cuh ji Cfhldvd uflad +orib 8 eh tfiartu, puelk < oficivh +orib ? eh tfiartu,&ti bd thjh zh mded olfh nifdmh ujhfbdeist% Pistibhfh bd minueist viebd trhmvhbdm& hflbd zh mded ufhzhc l lzfhzhc lz trhmvhbh oli edti piput schchebh s vlsicd sclbhcdschchielad% Fbujl cibl su ti prlbd dfbdfl ul ehbdd ol md srulfl eh ufhscu u trhmvhb& hiel ciblmh sd urlfi lzhl iohrhfl ol md eh lzfhscu% Itchci shm pidfh kijhtl odz pimilthph& eh mdel sd jic shm edpimlei sthbhfh u trhmvhbu elbd vljbdfi jh shm tdcl levhflj&ph ol sd ti pichzhfi tdc chj ml bd trdohfi pimil jh usthedm% L thci shm ehbdd ijfhzlfhpbdlad u cifu& piedchj l s cibim ij prlbhtdfblah& ti bd u mdel pioujlfi ehju jh ubdjein jheh shsvlm urhstl u svibu srdjleu vdlesclk fbujl%

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29/85

Eh putu lz cifd pidfl smi prifhzltl plaim& cibh bd u ti vrlbdmd olfh ehbueib strhel thjhebdn Zrnh _dpuoflcd% Rh rhzflcu ij cirzh& ciblm sd edjbdfbim dthfipi Prhcib l Rrlebdvau& eh plal sd unfhveim sthbhfi u nruplahmh& lzmdu ciblk smi sdeh putu lz cifd privfhlfd& susrdthfd pizehtd& upizehvhfd mimcd lz muclk nlmehzlbh lflhc l picibdn stujdeth% Mib bd smrtel strhk uvlbdc oli jh u sd s edclm mirhtlrucivhtl&ti bd zehlfi jhtl mu rucu tiflci micru ij prdtbdrhein strhkh& edunijd l mucd& jh ol bdsvhcl eirmhfhe ivbdc dfli ti bhd stlseutl& ed ol fl bd eh edcl ehle lmlchi% Orlshfhshm sthfei rucd i khfbleu& eislfh u rual stlseutl rupl cibl ol u trdeu oli shv michr& hchj smi u rlbdtclm prlflchmh ednjbd sbdfd pipltl chvu& sthfei shm phzlfh jh sfuhbei& urhzniviru& ed sthvlm rucu eh stif l isthvlm micrl itlshc jfheh%

Lthci shm dtlrl nijled uehti svdmu kijhfh pbdlad u cifu l lz cifd& prifhzlfhplaim& ijfhzlfh edjbdfbim eh cirzi l eujlfh sd piehhtl chi l svd mibd prlbhtdfblad lvrebhclebd& vbdrubul bi uvlbdc ednjbd u edcim zholtim cutcu svin miznh jh bd svd tiprlvrdmdei l jh d svd ti bdjein jheh pril% Zhb ml bd priads elbdchebh lebdelad jh shmpisthfh trhbel levhflj iminuli jh stdcedm edcd mdkhelzmd cibl su ml& chj shm sdciehei pidfh prlfhnihvhtl eh trhbeist svin levhfljltdth& zehhbei piminfl% Ehulfhshm prdsthtl bhjlcivhtl l ti shm ord minfh iozehelfh olk svhcimd jh shm prlbd nijleu&jvlbd& trl lfl dtlrl prdoifbdfh jbdbu phrhflzu% T mim bd jrhebu& nfhsu l ipdm piehhebuolfi uvbdrdebd jh bd svd ti shmi prlvrdmdei& ph md stinh l ed zhorlebhvh prdvld% Ehulfhshm oltl vdjrh l scfieh hfl& sprdmeh eh svd pitkvhtd miblk vrebhclebh% lvbdfh shm jvhphrhfdfeh lvith2 svhcin shm jheh edciflci shtl privijlfh eh glzlchfeib tdrhplbl lehbmhebd

sht vrdmdeh u viebl olalcfim& h jrunl jli jheh u cifl& udebu l ehleu lvith cibl bdsflli ieimd thjheblk 87& 8>& 8;-nijlebhclebh%

_dkholflthalbh elbd trhlfh shmi meini vrdmdeh& vd l meini trujh& upireistll jlsalpfled% Zrdohfi bd svhcin jheh& edivlsei i vrdmdesclm prlflchmh lfl mim tbdfdseimsthebu& rhspifidebu& orlnhmh lfl cifsclm iovdzhmh itll eh tdrhplbu l thmi sd& svlmoifivlmh uehti& mhcslmhfei trujltl ed ol fl sd edti pimhceufi& pioifbhfi&primlbdelfi% Pimhal su olfl mlelmhfel& u mlflmdtrlmh& ph ml bd stinh l olfi svd ti tddpijelbdtl% T 8>% nijlel itlfh shm bi bdjeim eh 7 mbdsdal u oifelau& ivhb put u bdjeuirtipdjscu cflelcu u Ebdmhcib% Pimhc bd ivhb put oli vdl& ohrdm edciflciadetlmdthrh%

Tehti svlm tlm flbddeblmh& mhturlrhfh shm sh sviblm vrebhclebhmh l uplshfhpslkifinlbu eh Glfizigscim ghcuftdtu% Lstijioei s uplsim eh ghcuftdt ijfulfh shmprdcleutl sh svhcijedveim junitrhbeim glzlchfeim tdrhplbim l ehsthvltl shmi svibdrdjived viebd olalcfim% Rhcfbulfh shm& ehlmd& jh privijlm prdvld vrdmdeh eh tdrhplblcibh vld ed jieisl elchcvd vljfblvd pimhcd& h mded pistupei prdtvhrh u oifdselau cibhd bdjein jheh nivirltl shmi i timd cibl bib mlll rhjd lfl ed rhjd% Wljbdfh shm l ufh

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30/85

meini fbujl cibl su& dchbul eh svib rdj zh nhfvhelzhalbu lfl mhshu& svlmh tumhlfl ciflcibdsu lfl elsu ehprdjivhfl& cibl lm sd mlll shmi trzhbu& h cibl l cietrhklrhbu% Prdpfhlfh shmsd jh u& ehsthvlm fl thmi jifhzltl& l bh pidtl svlmh prlhtl i jdthfblmh svibd rdkholflthalbd&ph shmijfulfh ti prdcleutl l umbdsti tinh ijrdl sd zhtltd cibu ml bd pruhfi bi uvlbdcpistibdd elbdchebd trhbeistl min sthebh% Qhmh shm sdod uvbdrhvhfh jh bd ti ti shmpistlnfh vbdribhtei mhcslmum l jh sd mib kij vld edd pioifbhvhtl& hfl shm sd lphcedchci& ednjbd& ehjhfh jh ti mijh l elbd thci%

Qti sd tld shmin pidtch stujlrhebh& edchci shm sd ehjhfh jh shm vdivrseufh criz td dtlrl nijled nlmehzlbd& ph jh d ml prlfhnijoh eh stujlb l stujdetsciicrudebd oltl bdjeisthvelbh% Lmhfh shm vd edcd mdkhelzmd iorhed& ehstibhfh shm shsvlmh oltl srjheh l fbuohzeh& lhci olk sd ehbrhjlbd olfh pivucfh u edcl cut jh md eltci edvljl l ed ubd% Pslkifinlbh md lzuzdtei zhelmhfh& h stujlb ijudvli& ph shm s fhciimpisthfh ijfleh stujdetlah% Pisulvhfh shm jrunlmh sprdmei svibd olfbdcd& ehstibhfh shmeh svd ehled edchci oltl bdjeh ij eblk& lhci ml bd hc l shmi pdebhebd ji trddn chthtdci phjhfi% L jhfbd shm minfh& piput Lvlad l Mhrlad& hfl odz mrvlah crukh& zh sioimisthvfbhtl trhn chpfblahmh zeibh s miblk rucu& hfl shm lphc& svd u svdmu& olfh ohrdm uijrddeib mbdrl ucfbudeh u eirmhfhe stujdetscl lvit%

LLL% prlbdfimel jinhhb

Eh trdib nijlel stujlbh& jic smi eh cflelal _dori orofbhbul dchfl ehprdjhvhebd lz pslkiphtifinlbd& bdjeh sd cifdnlah ijbdjeim icrdeufh prdmh mdel l uhseimd ehphfh% Iptulfh md jh mlsflm jh shm edti pisdoei zhti ti lmhm jiord iabded lflzhti ti svd pifhdm ij prvd& ehphfh md zoin mibd ehvijed hrinhealbd lshmiuvbdrdeistl& vlchfh bd l mhkhfh ml ruchmh prdj eisim chi jh ol ml ehbrhjlbd itcleufhnfhvu% Ebdzlei md piehhebd pitpuei isupeufi& ph ij zhprdphtdebh elshm prinivirlfhel rlbdl& hfl el ltci jrunl% utcd smi ufl u prdjhvhielau& h bh shm ehcie prdjhvhebh odzpizjrhvh itlfh eh jrunu strheu% Ji tin shm trdeutch olfh slnureh jh u albdfin lvitholtl pitddeh zhvlstl& bdr chci ol uipd edtci minhi oltl zhvljhe edcimd tci bd levhflj9

Hfl tin shm butrh nfdjhfh rhvei u flad lziofldei ij zhvlstl l flah sviblk cifdnh l cifdnlahcibl su& ehjhfh shm sd ij edfhnijd& utcd sfuhfl ti sd jinhh%

Piuch l prdpiruch

Zin shm jheh ehulfh jvlbd vrfi vhed stvhrl% Prvh bd olfh jh lmh fbujl cibld edcimd tci bd levhflj& h picuhvh sd uspbdei eisltl sh sviblmlevhfljltdtim& lfl bd hc l uspbdhe u pijrubu u cibdm iel ti elsu u

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31/85

bdjehcib mbdrl& zhvlhtl letdezlvelbd l inirdelbd edni edcimd ijvdlesclk fbujl% Pisthfi ml bd bhsei jh mib levhfljltdt ed lzhzlvhsuisbdhebd& bdr elbd sphrde sh scrimelm uspbdkim eh stujlbu lfl ipdelti

scrimelblm l pivudelblm piehhebdm% Qkvhtlfh shm jh mibd ehstibhebdjh sd piehhm chi jh bd sh meim svd u rdju& islm ti& dti& dphm& edclfbujl jilvfbhvhbu chi jrscist& hrinhealbu lfl edjifleu shmiuvbdrdeist% Ijmded sd& chi uisthfim l ij isthflk isioh s levhfljltdtim& idclvhfi jh sdellm ed lstldm& jhoujdm& hci bd lchci minud& edprlmbdteh% Lzrhzlthuspbdeist u olfi dmu supritsthvfbhfh sd uvrlbddeib prdjrhsujl jh suisiod s levhfljltdtim legdrlired l u jrunlm pijrublmh& h ed shmi upijrubu u cibdm pistibl levhfljltdt% Oli bd ti ipdt bdjhe susrdt sprdjrhsujim ulvi%

Hfl tin shm jheh ehulfh l bi edti& ti u tlbdcim lvith bi meini puthuiltl% Fbujl su scfiel phslvei primhtrhtl chj sd u edcim suciou ehphjhedcin cinh smhtrhbu sfholblm% Chi jh sd plthbu zhti ol ufhnhfl ehpir uedti ti elbd eblkivh oltch& h bi bd islm tinh ehbvbdribhtelbd l lznuofbdesfuhb% Mijh bd timd u ciecrdteim sfuhbu prljielbdfh l prdjrhsujhprdmh isiohmh s levhfljltdtim& cibd ol& u scfhju s ebim& trdohfd zehtlsvibd mbdsti% Hfl fbujl sd u ehdfu ed dfd zhfhnhtl zh tuh prhvh& eltl tltltl

sfholbd% Ehbrhjlbd icrdeu nfhvu& ed ubu l ed vljd ti sd jinhh& h bi sumhebd scfiel i timd rhzmlfbhtl% Lmh& jhchci& l jruclblk fbujl& hfl jivifbeimhfi jh eh eblk ed trdoh rhuehtl& ti jrunlm rlbdlmh zehl jh sd nitiviuvlbdc trdoh isfhebhtl shmi eh vfhstltd sehnd%

Tehti svdmu& ucfbulfh shm sd u stujdetscl lvit& svbdseh jh prdtbdrubdm usviblm ehpirlmh jh sd prlfhnijlm jrunlmh% Rh isiou s levhfljltdtim vrfi bd& ehlmd& tdciu picuhbu ljdetlglalrhebh s vdleim ehl prhvu rhveitdu% Wbdribhtei l stinh ti ehbddijholrdmi pinrdeu nrupu zh ljdetlglchalbu%

Qvl ml lmhmi pitrdou pilstivbdtltl sd s nrupim cibib prlphjhmi lfl cibibdflmi prlphjhtl% Zhci sd l isiod s levhfljltdtim& chi l svl jrunl rhzflltl& dsti dfdljdetlglalrhtl s vdleim& oltl chi jrunl& lvbdtl chi jrunl% Wd shmi ednlrhebd trhbeistlitddebh lfl pisfbdjlah oifdstl& usmbdrhvh l levhfljed isiod prdmh pilstivbdlvhebu svdleim% Jrunl bd rhzfin thcvin ijholrh lebdelah jh sd levhfljeh isioh tdci midipdelti ljdetlglalrhtl s jrunlm levhfljelm isiohmh& lhci sd oh ti ij ebd idcubd& bdrisiod s levhfljltdtim elsu kimindeh scupleh% Tisiod s levhfljltdtim uorhbhbu sd l iels vljfblvlm l iel s edvljfblvlm edjisthalmh3 isiod s itddelm mllei-scdfdtelm

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32/85

susthvim l isiod s itddeblmh isbdtlfh% Wdlescl fbujl svrsthvhbu zhbdjei l isiod ulevhfljsclm ciflalmh& isiod eh thchmh& isiod cibd sd sfud thpim l ied cibd dphbuodz jijhtelk pimhnhfh% lebdelah bd& mdutlm& jh bd svhtci ij eblk jruclbd itdde& tdjh l isiod s levhfljltdtim lmhbu prdjrhsujh prdmh jrunlm levhfljelm isiohmh ph sdstinh minu& hci uipd& ljdetlglalrhtl shmi s ielmh cibl phtd ij sflelk itddebh%

Priofdm ljdetlglchalbd pibdjleah s levhfljltdtim s edcim alfbeim nrupim ti bdtdl ti bd ebdniv stupheb levhfljltdth mhebl& bdr sd thchv pibdjleha upirei dflljdetlglalrhtl s vdlesclm fbujlmh% Wdleh nh& mdutlm& smhtrh levhfljeim isioim mhebdlfl vld edivlsei i ebdnivim stupebu levhfljltdth% Zhci su zh shmd levhfljed isiod ielcibl shmisthfei kijhbu& lhci s vljfblvlm dphebdm& nitivi eirmhfel u ijeisu eh fbujdu levhfljsclm ciflalmh& h shsvlm levhfljel zh vdlescd fbujd% Qflei timd& ehnfukd isioded ljdetlglalrhbu sd s nfuklmh& bdr lphc ubu& h ed minu sd zoin svin edjisthtchljdetlglalrhtl el s vdleim cibh lk smhtrh isiohmh itddein sfukh%

Priofdm priehfhdebh alfbed nrupd zh ljdetlglchalbu elbd& mdutlm& inrheldeshmi eh isiod s levhfljltdtim% Qfleh bd sltuhalbh l s isiohmh mlbdhein dtelcin lflrhsein pirlbdcfh& cibd zhprhvi ed prlkvhh elbdjeh ij nruph ciblmh ol minfd prlphjhtl& hl ied sd shmd dsti tdci ijfuubu zh nrupu s cibim ol sd pilstivbdtlfd%

Piuch l prdpiruch

Ij isioh s levhfljltdtim idcubd sd jh sd ti bd vld minud prlfhnijdtzv% eirmhfeim ehleu lvith& ph bd thci alfb prlfhnijod pisthtl chi ljrunl% Oujul jh bd ti edminud zoin pistibddn edjisththch i cibdmtrdoh vijltl rhueh& h cibl smdth l isiohmh cibd nh lmhbu l vdlesclmfbujlmh& isiod s levhfljltdtim trdohfd ol sd prlfhnihvhtl shmizhktbdvlmh cibd prdj eblk pisthvfbh eblkiv levhfljltdt% Q tlm ol& ehlmd&levhfljltdtim td isiod trdohfd lvbdtl chi rhveiprhveh fbujsch olh& ed

srhmdl sd svin edjisthtch lfl itddebh% Ehstibhebh tlk isioh jh oujuchi l svl isthfl u ehdfu ed ehlfhzd eh ijiorhvhebd vdlesclk fbujl& bdr ielmdu eblmh cibl lmhbu prdjrhsujd prdmh rhzflltlmh idcubu jh sd tlrhzflltl jrud sh sdol sflelmh& td jh mdu thcvlmh ehu l prlbhtdfbd lphrtedrd%

Islm tinh& vdleh fbujl ljdetlglalrh isiod s levhfljltdtim shmi eh tdmdfbutin levhfljltdth& ph sd thci& svlm pifltlcl cirdctelm nivirlmh uehti&nivirli ieib sflbdpib lfl ieim shchtim& ieim jdodfim lfl ieib

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33/85

lznfhjebdfib% Roin thcvin ehleh jilvfbhvhebh rhzflltlk& isiod slevhfljltdtim u meinlm sfuhbdvlmh bdjvh usplbdvhbu istvhrltl vfhstltlljdetltdt& bdr lk u albdfistl prdcrlvh eblkivi itddebd lfl eblkivh

rhzflltist% Jinhh sd jh sd fbujl nijlehmh uzhfuj oird jh lk sd lspij lmlmi td rhzflltistl prdpizeh chi isiod s lmdeim l prdzlmdeim% H chjti edclmh lphc l usplbd& ehbdd bd piprhdei cimdethrlmh piput Lphcsu svl tl +edivlsei i timd eh cibu sd nrupu rhzflltlk isioh ijeisl, lstl& htl sl shmi lzelmch cibh pitvrubd prhvlfi%

Zimd sd midmi supritsthvltl shmi eh bdjhe ehle2 ljdetlglalrhebdm s fbujsclmrijim ipdelti% Ml& isiod s levhfljltdtim lfl vljfblvlm rhzflltistlmh& trdohmi sdodsmhtrhtl rhveiprhvelm fheivlmh jrutvh u cibdm d ehs edcl prlkvhtltl thcvd chcvl

bdsmi& edcl lneirlrhtl& h edcl l itvirdei ijohalvhtl% Hfl ed jinhh fl sd ti u ijrddeibmbdrl zhprhvi svlm fbujlmh9 Rhr elsu meinh jbdah lfl mfhjl fbujl ijohdel ij vdled zoinsvin pirlbdcfh +epr% _iml,& sialidcieimscin sthtush +th slritlebh, lfl edcin jruninrhzfinh9 Rhr elbd nitivi svhtci vd bdjeim u lvitu jilvli jh nh ijohal edch nruphcibib sd dfli prlcfbultl lfl edcl pibdjleha s ciblm sd dfli jrultl 9

Qvl olsmi sd ml& mh eh cibl ehle olfl rhzflltl& trdohfl isbdhtl shmi chi fbujl& phsd ljdetlglalrhtl s fbujscim vrstim& h ueuthr ebd shmi s pibdjlealmh cibl su ehm eh edclehle lfl pi edclm svibstvlmh oflscl% Ljdetlglchalbh s fbujsclm rijim ipdelti iminulfh

ol ehm svlmh jh l shml fhcd prlkvhhmi rhzflltd& h l isfioijlfh ol ehs ehpirh jh sdljdetlglalrhmi s vdlesclm fbujlmh%

Ijmhk pi jlpfimlrhebu zhpisflfh shm sd chi hslstdetlah eh Ijsbdcu zhpslkifinlbu% T ti sd vrlbdmd zhnrdohcl Glfizigscl ghcuftdt ehfhzli eh rhzflltlm mbdstlmhu nrhju& ph bd thci Ijsbdc zh pslkifinlbu oli u znrhjl thjhebdn Prlrijisfivei-mhtdmhtlcin ghcuftdth u edpisrdjeib oflzlel thjhebd Qvdulfled ceblelad& h l mibdcud% Ji pisfh shm minfh stll zh jdsdthc mleuth& lhci shm sd thjh trdohfh uspdtl eh trdlcht% Zhjh bi elshm minfh el sfutltl jh u sd sfbdjdlk :0 nijleh l u eivib znrhjl

Glfizigscin ghcuftdth svhcijedvei mucitrpei l odz jhkh pdebhtl ji trddn chth% Hfl elbdti olfi bdjlei lzedehdebd cibd md ehcie nijleu jheh rhjh jidchfi prdsdfbdebdm eheivl Glfizigscl ghcuftdt%

T Glfizigscl ghcuftdt ufhzl sd prdci :-4 elsclk stdpdelah cibd vijd ji lriclk lvdflclk sthcfdelk vrhth% Qvhtci tci sd pdebd tlm stdpdelahmh prdmh vrhtlmh& mid ueblkivlm sthcflmh vljbdtl svib ijrhz& ti vdlesclm fbujlmh vbdribhtei lfl ed zehl elth lfllm sd svlh iei ti vljd% Rh mded bd ti olfi vrfi edunijei lscustvi& bdr shm ji tinvrdmdeh vd ehulfh lzobdnhvhtl svib ijrhz u lzfizlmh trnivleh& h elnjbd sd jrunjbd elshm

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el minfh vljbdtl chci kijhm% Rehfh shm& jhchci& jh dphm& ph l chci ti vbdribhteilznfdjh% Wljbdfh shm u pinfdjlmh fbujl eh adstl lfl eh trelal& u trnivlel lfl u prdjhvhielaljh lk thb mib edjisththc l zhelmhl ijolbh& bdr ol lspij ich ehstibhfl pinfdjhtl chci bh tikijhm& uz lstijioel lzrhz flah chi jh nfdjhbu edti ti rhjlbd ed ol vljbdfl%

Mirhm prlzehtl jh ed zehm jilvfbhvhbu fl l jrund isiod s vrdmdeim svibddphebd& hci sd jhchci rhjl i trhbeim ehleu kijh& chi svib eirmhfel kij& hfl bh shmtdc suideh sh sviblm ijrhzim u vrhtlmh Glfizigscin ghcuftdth u pueim ipsdnu mirhfhprlkvhtltl lebdelau svibd levhfljeistl% Mdel sd s vrdmdeim& svdmu uehti& lelfi jhshsvlm jiori kijhm% Crdthfh shm sd odz pimil thph& minfh shm sd& tdci l pifhci& hfllphc& uspdtl l sll shmh pi stdpdelahmh& ehulfh shm l pfdshtl& ijfhzlfh shm hc ehstujdetscd zhohvd s pfdsim l edchci shm& zhkvhfbubul eivim priadsu ednlrhebh& thb svibkij usviblfh chi svibu eirmhfu cibh elbd vld thci strheh chi ti bd olfh& cibh bd mijhshmi mhfi lscrlvfbdebd eirmhfein crdthebh% H iejh shm sd unfdjhfh chci sd crlvlm pistdpdelahmh prdj ufhzim u ghcuftdt& chci zhprhvi bhci l vljfblvi dphm& l albdfh sd mibhjithjhebh prlfhnijoh ipdt urulfh%

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Qvib shm kij usviblfh chi edcu eirmhfu cibh bd mijh shmi mhfi lscrlvfbdebdeirmhfein crdthebh% H iejh shm sd unfdjhfh chci sd crlvlm pi stdpdelahmh eh ufhzu ughcuftdt& chci zhprhvi bhci l vljfblvi dphm l albdfh sd mibh jithjhebh prlfhnijoh ipdt

urulfh%

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Wdlesclm d sd fbujlmh leltl edvbdribhtelm jh shm ji tin zhcfbuch jifh tdcpuelk 80 nijleh ehcie ti shm sd rhzoifbdfh ij jbdbd phrhflzd% Qvd su td nijled olfdpritched edcim ehjim& ed ehjim u uji& vd ehjim u uspbdk miblk ehstibhebh% Qhjshm ciehei olfh bhsei suideh s tlm uspbdkim l elbd ml sd leli oinzeh chci vdflclm%L thci shm pieivei olfh eh pidtcu priadsh prlfhnijod& chci eh svibd sthebd& thci l ehmeindeivd fbujd eh Glfizigscim ghcuftdtu%

Quihvhebd s levhfljltdtim

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lel ml sd jh eh ioh plthebh edmh ijnivirh cibl ol vrlbdjlfl zh svd isiod slevhfljltdtim& bdr bd svhch ij eblk& lsti chi ti bd ti l svhcheirmhfeh isioh& bdjlestvdeh&ph su thcvl u ijrddeib mbdrl l ebdzlel priofdml l oifl& hfl l ebdzled rhjistl l uskltl% Qvhchsd isioh& ivlsei i albdfim scfipu icifeistl l lmodelch& vdzhelk chci uz ebu thci l uzicifleu l lru jrutvdeu zhbdjelau u cibib lvl& jruclbd eisl s levhfljltdtim& ph stinh led trdoh trhltl ijnivird eh th plthebh% Zi& mdutlm& ed umhebubd vrlbdjeist ehstibhebhjh sd upizehmi sh lvitim fbujl cibl lvd s levhfljltdtim& jh picuhmi rhzumbdtl edshmi eblk edni l eblkivd oflebd& chi l jh picuhmi priehl zhbdjelcd dfdmdetd cibl lbdjelmh l jrunlmh minu ifhchtl pistibdd sthebd%

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Bi el jhehs& chj shm vd ehbvdl jli svin lvith privdfh chi isioh slevhfljltdtim& h vld ij 40 nijleh chi pslkifinlebh& ed zehm tiei rhzflcivhtl& hvbdribhtei el jdglelrhtl suihvhebd s levhfljltdtim& prlkvhhebd levhfljltdth l prlfhnijoueh levhfljltdt%

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Edciflci nijleh ehcie ti shm pidfh rhjltl eh Glfizigscim ghcuftdtu& jicibdn shm ijfhzlfh ti pbdlad& ti trhmvhbdm& mib ml bd itha picfieli rhofbdel hutimiolfchci ol md pithceui jh ehulm vizltl l tlmd ml ifhchi crdthebd nrhjim l ijfhzhc ehghcuftdt% Wlbdst i cupfbdeim hutu prlipli ml bd jic smi iobdjivhfl& eh lstl ehle chi tiol iolhvhi rdl2 Jhehs bd vhel oh vrud lfl lel sd jh d phstl clh% Mib bd itha&ehlmd& l prdjiori zehi jh bh elchci ed minu vizltl huti& bdred minu flbdvim einimstlseutl cvhlfi& h u iei jioh u ehs bi uipd elbd olfi mhflk hutimiolfh s hutimhtsclmmbdebhdm% Hfl hutibd oli cupfbde l ij mded sd idclvhfi jh ti prlbd l eh ti oifbl ehlerlbdlm plthebd viebd%

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Zl su md prlbdjfizl rhzihrhfl& inirlfl l pithceufl jh shmh lzehdm prlcfhjei

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T timd shm eh crhbu l uspbdfh unrhjebim pisdoed pfid eh piju lsprdj cvhlfh&cibh ml bd iminuhvhfh jh pimiu jijhted pdjhfd cirlstlm cvhlfi chi l jrunl fbujl% Zhsd jijhteh pdjhfh minfh prdcfipltl& ph bd huti l jhfbd minhi vizltl svhcl vdlescl ivbdc%

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tu minueist% Olfi bd crhsei vizltl sd nrhjimpiput vdlesclk fbujl%

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Olfi bd crhsei umbdsti mucitrpein pdebhebh u trhmvhb& dstlk phjivh prllzfhscu lz trhmvhbh l trhbein prhdebh pinfdjh prifhzelch l kvhthebh eblkivlk prlmbdjolvizltl sd nrhjim piput svlk vdlesclk fbujl% Ehcie mbdsda jheh viebd u vfhstltim hutupidfh shm lzobdnhvhtl svhci kijhebd nrhjim& ph olk sd& h u iei jioh bd ti olfi minudbdr sd l u adetru minfi svunjbd ehl mbdsth zh phrclrhebd& vizlfh hutim l ji juheh lzhunfh%

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Tprhvi u vrlbdmd chj shm pidfh ultl vizltl huti& ehtbdahfh shm sd zh hmdrlcustlpdejlbu - odz meini ehjd jh u bu l jioltl& hfl s uvbdrdebdm jh ol ml ti minfi pimiljh sd ti bd minud vld ishmisthflm uehti svim levhfljltdtu% Eh srdu& trl-dtlrlmbdsdah ehcie ti shm sd sviblm hutim pidfh vizltl pi nrhju& iohvlbdstlfl su md jh shmjiolfh stlpdejlbu& h jvh mbdsdah chselbd itlfh shm u Qbdjlebded Hmdrlcd Jrhvd ehnijleu jheh%

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stlpdejlsth cibl jifhzl u Qbdjlebded Hmdrlcd Jrhvd bdr lk zhelmhbu strhel stujdetl%Jijhfh bd jh bd ieh rideh u Elzizdmscib& jic bd ebdzle suprun ridel Hmdrlcheha%_dcfh bd& ed oh sedclmijudvfbdebdm& jh shm lm bh prvh isioh lz Bunisfhvlbd l thci smijifl ji eblkivd cud%

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Piuch l prdpiruch

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isiohmhrhzflltd pifltlcd irlbdethalbd& epr% cimuelstlcd& bdr su mlsflfl jhsu svl cibl jifhzd lz Bunisfhvlbd cimuelstl& ph jh prdmh timd edmhjrutvh sfioijein ij svlk prdjrhsujh& vd shmi ij ielk cibd sd

susthvei& udebdm ij mhflk einu& ucfhebhbu% Qvd u svdmu bd zorib svlkpistibdlk stdrditlph l prdjrhsujh vbdribhtei u Qbdjlebdelm HmdrlclmJrhvhmh oli u ehbmhebu rucu pijbdjehc ieim u mibib zdmfbl& shmi tisd mdel& chi isiol s levhfljltdtim& prvl put jinijlfi jh nijleu jhehprivdjdm chi vdlesch isioh& cibh shmi& dti& ed mid trhtl lfl sd pdebhtleh strmh orjh& hfl bd lehd u svdmu piput svlk isthflk%

Zhmi ml sd ulelfi jh shm ciehei skvhtlfh ti zehl suiltl sd sh sviblmlevhfljltdtim& td jh shm ti l ulelfh% Olfh shm levhfljeh isioh l ti fbujlmh

rhzflltd jiol l iorhzivhebh elbd zehlfi elth vld ij lebdelad jh md thblevhfljltdt inrhelhvh u edclm hctlveistlmh% Iei ti elshm u timtrdeutcu zehfh olfi bd jh shm prdorzi zhcfbulfh jh bd ti mibd suihvhebdpistlneuti bdjeim zhuvlbdc l jh md thb priofdm vld edd multl mh njbdolfh% Torzi shm skvhtlfh jh bd zhcfbuhc oli shmi jbdfimlei tihe& hndedrhflzhalbh pitpuei edtieh%

Chj bd ehcie edti vld ij nijleu jheh privdjdelk u Hmdrlal jifi vrlbdmd

pivrhtch& ijfulfh shm ti uleltl ehlm tdrdtelm orijim% Q vdsdfbdm shm sd ucrahfh eheh orij& vrhhbul sd cul uvbdrdeh jh ml bd mib oirhvhc u Hmdrlal jhi edtiedehjicehjlvi2 shmipiuzjhebd vdlescin ivbdch%

Wd prl ucrahbu prlmlbdtlfh shm jh chpdthe& sthrlbl ivbdc& nfhjei nfdjh puteladcibd sd ucrahvhbu eh ebdniv orij% lelfi ml sd jh ubdm l edcd prlmbdjod chci tu lmhedclk cibd oh l edd oltl lzolrfblvd& hfl svd shm ti zhoirhvlfh lsplbhbul ciehei prvuhu ehd vijd lz _lbdcd% Ehcie nijleu jheh lsplbhebh cibdchcvlk sicivh l odzhfcikifelkplh& ehh ml sd vijh lelfh ehboifbim eh svlbdtu%

Wdsdflfh shm sd putivhebu ij dtlrl tbdjeh& eh cibdm smi sd trdohfl zhusthvltl uMhricu& Lzrhdfu l edciflci fuch uLthflbl% Hfl islm edciflci slmphtlelk strhehah cibl susd lscrahfl u Zhendru l prvin iglalrh orijh& cibl bd oli lzuzdtei ufbujeh l srjheh isioh&svd bd isthfi olfi arel mrhc% Chpdthe bd smhtrhi jh olk bh trdohfh oltl ijudvfbdehebdnivim phebim& ph sd elbd ustruhvhi nfhsei cimdetlrhtl mibd edprlmbdrdeiijolbhebd ebdnivlk fbuohzeistl lzbhvhmh piput2 Ph trdohfh ol oltl srdteh jh bd edtcikid& Ph ti ieh mlsfl& tci bd ieh uipd& thcvd su edchjh jrhfl eh thvhelmh l sf% Mibd

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bd svbdd stddei shmipiuzjhebd l isbdhb jh shm& dti& isioh piput svlk jrunlk& uorzipisthfi shmi uspimdeh%

Mijh bd olfi l jiori ti shm vd eh oriju skvhtlfh jh d chj sd vrhtlm svd oltllsti chi ti bd olfi chj shm itlfh l jh bd albdfl priads prlfhnijod eh mib levhfljltdt biuvlbdc prdjh meim% Ehulfh shm bdjlei jh suihvhebd s levhfljltdtim zehl svlbdst ipistibhebu tdcih s ciblmh sd trdoh eisltl l i ciblmh trdoh vijltl rhueh svhcijedvelmvbdohebdm% Tmbdsti viebd olalcfim pi nrhju& shjh shm pidfh vizltl cuel olalcf&pflvhtl chj bd olfi minud l ti bd olfi ti%

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Prlkvhhebd levhfljltdth

lel ml sd jh pistibl bhseh rhzflch lzmdu suihvhebh s levhfljltdtim lprlkvhhebh levhfljltdth% Edti bdjeisthvelbd rddei& suihvhebd s levhfljltdtim ijeislsd eh tbdfdsed hspdctd levhfljeistl& eh tdcid cibd jieisl& eh iei ti s tlm u vdzl trdohleltl& chci sd trdoh orleutl jh ed jid ji pinirhebh& eh ti trdoh phzltl l sf% Lzmduthci skvhdein suihvhebh s levhfljltdtim l crieled oifdstl pistibd meind sfleistl& bdrl crieleh oifdst trhl ijrdde ehle lvith l uvlbdc ucfbuubd prlbdtebu pinirhebh& h tivrlbdjl l zh meind vrstd levhfljltdth%

Prlkvhhebd levhfljltdth vbdribhtei zehl prlfhnijou eh ti sthebd& mlrdebd slebdelahmh& uvlhebd jh sd ti sthebd vld edd primlbdeltl& jh bd thb levhfljltdt shjh jlimin ljdetltdth% Ed minu& jhchci& nivirltl u lmd svlk isioh s levhfljltdtim& ph hc el ulmd tbdfdselk levhfljh& bdr bd svhch isioh s levhfljltdtim bdjlech zh sdod& chi ti su ti lsvl fbujl odz levhfljltdth% Qvhci levhfljei jlbdtd& chi l svhch ijrhsfh lfl s

krizmanić - Život s različitima

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