LABU LABI

DTP1ALABU LABI

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Scene 1Haji Bakhil : (kira duit, buat kira-kira and then ada pekerja datang bagi barang) How much is the change?Pekerja: 1 cent, sir.Haji Bakhil: Give it to me (Nampak pekerja senyum) Ohhhhyoure smiling haayoure mocking me right? Hey! I can buy a house, you know if I gather this! (pegang duit 1 sen). Go!(Haji bakhil looks at the audience)Haji Bakhil: Assalamualaikum I am Haji Bakhil. Im rich, with big house and 2 servants. My family consists of 3, myself, my wife and my daughter. Shes beautiful; you can marry her if you have much money.(Manisah masuk and gunting kain-tukang jahit)Manisah: Im Manisah. Im Haji Bakhils daughter. My father is rich. To him a cent is a like a cart wheel. Hmm (mengeluh) I have to work to earn the money to meet my daily expenses.(Labu masuk, tgh potong bawang nak memasak)Labu: Hi! Im Labu. Im Haji Bakhils servant. Not only cooking, but many works I have to doGo to market, Cook, Cleaning the dishes, the house and the toilet. In short, I have to work until I die. I dont want to resignbecause I have met someone here. Wait! (Take out a picture) Hi my love! Due to you I lost my appetite to eat. Daily, I take a spoonful of rice, then another, till become 3 plates. Dont look! Its a secret! (simpan gambar)(Labi masuk, menggeliat)Labi: Im Labi. Im Haji Bakhils driver. Not only that! But many work I have to do. Haji Bakhil is so stingy until I have to buy my own uniform. I have thought of resigning butthere lives a beautiful girl in my village. Wait! (Take out the picture) Do you want to see it? Later I show it to you! (simpan gambar). Now, lets talk about haji Bakhil.(Labi bawa balik Haji Bakhil. Sampai rumah, Labi lupa Haji Bakhil kat dalam kereta. Labi turun kereta and kunci. Haji Bakhil tak sedar dah sampai, tengah baca surat khabar)Haji Bakhil: (Sambil baca surat khabar) Havent we reached home, Labi? (And then, tengok keliling, panic, menjerit panggil Labi)hey, Labi! Why did you lock me in?Labi: (Baru sedar, terus pergi kat Haji bakhil) Oh my god! That old man is inside. (Buka kunci kereta) Sir, please dont be angry!Haji bakhil: (Angry) Do you think I am a monkey in a cage? (nak pukul Labi-acah) Idiot! (sambil jalan masuk rumah)Labi: (ajuk cakap Haji bakhil) Idiot!Haji Bakhil: (dengar and berpaling) Whos idiot?Labi: Its me, haji.

Scene 2Manisah just come back from workingHaji Bakhil: You are late today?Manisah: Many customer come to make dresses today(Go inside the house) DadHaji Bakhil: YesManisah: My shops need more sewing-machines, dad.Haji Bakhil: Machines(Buat muka)Manisah: I think I need 3 more.Haji Bakhil: 3? How much?Manisah: About RM500 only.Haji Bakhil: RM500? Ehehehnot much (then pengsan)Manisah: (Berlari kat haji bakhil) Dad! He always fainted whenever I ask for money. Dad! Dad!(Labu bawa masuk makanan)Manisah: Abang Labu!(Pinggan jatuh and pecah, Haji Bakhil bangun dari pengsan)Haji Bakhil: (Angry) EhMy property is damaged again.Manisah: So, you pretended to faint, father. I hate you!Labu: Im sorry sir (menggeletar)Haji Bakhil: Quiet! Labu: Blablabla..blaHaji Bakhil: Are you going to die?Labu: No, you said dont speak!Pak Bakhil: Go, and bring my coffee, idiot!(Labu, kutip pinggan pecah and keluar pentas)

Scene 3(Labu masuk bawa kopi )Haji Bakhil: Lalaaabubuuu!!! (Baru sedar dia menjerit, tutup mulut)Labu terkejut dan menggeletar sambil bawa makanan depan Haji Bakhil.Haji Bakhil: Labu, Labu, Be careful! Be careful! Be careful!(Nada risau)Labu jalan pelan-pelan and menggeletar sambil bawa pingganLabi: Sir! (shouting sambil berlari masuk and bawa barang)PANG!!! Pinggan yang Labu bawa jatuh dan pecah.Haji Bakhil: Ahhhh(Geram) Its broke finallyLabuuuuLabu: Actually sir, I have a fit. When I hear people shouting, my fit will come Haji Bakhil: (Geram) Your fir may turn me into a beggar, Labu.Labu: No, Itll make you rich next year.Haji Bakhil: Stupid! Idiots!Labi: You can even carry that, Labu.Haji Bakhil: Quiet! (Marah)(Labi terkejut and barang jatuh)Haji Bakhil: You are also the same! (talking to Labi)Labu: Yes sir, hes also the same!Haji Bakhil: Both of you, go there!Labu: Its all your fault!Labi: Eeh..why me?Labu: Why did you shout when you know that I had a fit?Labi: You still have fit at this age! (Labi angkat kaki nak tendang Labu)Haji Bakhil: Eh..eh! Stop it! You two down!(Labu and Labi ketuk ketampi and Haji Bakhil ikut sekali)

Scene 4(Manisah is sewing at her room while singing)Manisah: OoooWhich one that my heart desiresI cant bear itthe pain in my heartMay it be too far, far far awayOr it is behind the blue cloudLabu: If you choose me, to be your partnerAll the cooking, I will do itLabi: if you choose me, to be your partnerAll the clothes, I ll wash itManisah: Ohthe cook,I dont want youOh.the cleanerIts irritatingI am looking, for someone who suits meAs long as I I like him.Labu: I am the oneThat shes looking forThick moustache,The python.Labi: I am the oneAll the girls dreamNot handsomeBut Im sweet.Haji Bakhil: The radio program broadcasts only love songs... love songslove songs. It would be good if they hint on about how to make money, get rich quickly or have more than one wife.

Scene 5Venue: Haji Bakhils houseNot many years after that, Haji Bakhils wife, passed away. After 40 days(Haji Bakhil terbaring, sakit. Labu Labi teman)After 100 days (Haji Bakhi jalan ke kereta dengan bergaya)Labi: Good morning, sir. (buka pintu kereta)(Haji Bakhil berjalan ke kereta, Labi tahan)Labi: Eh...EhHavent you forgotten anything, sir?Haji Bakhil: None, what is it Labi?Labi: (tunjuk atas)Haji Bakhil: Theres no rain, why should I bring umbrella?Labi: Not umbrella, (sambil sengih) emmturban.Haji Bakhil: The turban? It has been soaked wet by the night rain. (terus masuk kereta)Labi: (Terpinga-pinga) Theres no rain last night, sir. (Fikir and then gelak)Haji Bakhil: Shut up! Mind your own business! Now, drive me to the office.Labi: Ok, sir (terus masuk kereta)

Venue: Haji Bakhil & CompanyPekerja: Good morning, sir!(Pekerja panggil kawan and buat sign mengata Haji Bakhil and then gelak)Haji Bakhil: Ohhhyoure making fun at me right?Pekerja: No, sir. Karim says youre becoming more handsome. You look like Rock Hudson.Haji Bakhil: (ketawa malu-malu) My face is like Rock Hudson? (ketawa malu-malu) Have you had your breakfast?Pekerja: Not yet, sir.Haji Bakhil: Ahmad, order three cups of coffee and 2 half-boiled eggs for each.Pekerja: Thank you, sir.(Cikgu Murni masuk kedai Haji Bakhil)Pekerja: Good morning, madam. Do you want to but the clothes? These clothes just came.Cikgu Murni: I want plain white cloth. How much is for 1 bale?Pekerja: RM1Cikgu Murni: 1 bale?Pekerja: RM40Cikgu Murni: Can I have a discount? Its for the orphanage.Pekerja: Orphans? How many bales?Cikgu Murni: 5 bales.Pekerja: Why dont you see my boss? I believe he will give you a discount as he is in good mood today. Wait!(Pekerja ketuk pintu Haji Bakhil)Haji Bakhil: Come inPekerja: Sir, theres a beautiful young lady outsideHaji Bakhil: (gelak)HahaI dont believe you. Everyone is beautiful in your eyes. Even if you saw a cow wearing a gown also you said beautiful.Pekerja: Really, sir! Shes very beautiful. Her body figure just like your late wife.Haji Bakhil: Oh, thats beautiful. What does she want?Pekerja: She wants to buy 5 bales clothes and she asks for a discount.Haji Bakhil: Tell her to come in.

In Haji Bakhils office.Pekerja: Miss, please come in.Haji Bakhil: Good (pandang Cikgu Murni and bangun) Oh...Good morning! ...Osman, you can order 2 more half-boiled eggs. You can go. Im Haji Bakhil.Cikgu Murni: Murni YantiHaji Bakhil: Please be seated. Miss Murni come here to ask for discount right? Cikgu Murni: YesHaji Bakhil: Why do you want 5 bales?Cikgu Murni: Its for the orphans.Haji Bakhil: What have you to do with them?Cikgu Murni: Im their teacher. If you dont believe me, this is my identification (bawa keluar gambar)(Haji Bakhil tengok gambar-gambar)Haji Bakhil: Good, your character is similar to mine. I love the orphansincluding you, Murni Osman!Pekerja: Yes, sir.Haji Bakhil: Pack 10 bales of white clothes and give to Miss Murni.Pekerja: Yes, sir. AhhhSir, the boys want 2 more eggs each.Haji Bakhil: Go ahead! Give what they want even an elephants head. I will pay it. The employees like me very much.Cikgu Murni: What is the cost, sir?Haji Bakhil: Ill take this photo in exchange for the cloth. Thats all.Cikgu Murni: Thank you, sir.

Scene 6 Haji Bakhils houseHaji Bakhil has fallen in love with Cikgu Murni. He sees her face everywhere, at his room, during the meals, at the office and in the car. So, he asks Labu Labi to propose CIkgu Murni on his behalf.Haji Bakhil: Cikgu Murni has accepted my proposal. Tomorrow, you find two or three old man and meet her father.Labu: No need, sir. I am alone can do that.Labi: Hey, you dont know anything.Labu: Quiet, I know what I am doing.Labi: Where did you get the idea?Labu: It was me who arranged my mothers marriage with my father. You dont know! You were not even born yet. Dont worry sir, everything will be OK! Tip Top.HaJI Bakhil: GoodGo and have a rest.

Cikgu Murnis house.Labu Labi: Good morning, Cikgu Murni.Cikgu Murni: Good morningehehLabu Labi. Why are you here?Labu: We have come with engagement proposal.Cikgu Murni: For whom?Labu: Cikgu Murni and meLabi: Youre crazy. It is for your engagement to my master, Haji Bakhil.Cikgu Murni: Ohhh..Labu: I hope you are happy to accept.Cikgu Murni: You have to ask my father. I have no objection if he accepts.Labu: Why ask him? Our master doesnt want to marry him.Labi: (tolak kepala Labu) We must consult her father. This is engagement.Labu: If her father refuses?Labi: CancelLabu: Then, we will be penalized by master when we go back.Labi: Cikgu, can we see your father?Cikgu Murni: (angguk) Dad! Dad!Bapa Murni: Hawhat is it Murni?Cikgu Murni: Theres someone wants to see you.(Bapa Murni jenguk)Labi: Assalammualaikum, Pak haji.Bapa Murni: Waalaikumussalam. Come...come(Labu Labi masuk rumah, salam Bapa Murni)Bapa Murni: (sambil duduk) What can I do for you?Labu: We come here (Bapa Murni hulur tangan salam) I have a very important (Bapa Murni hulur tangan salam) because there(Bapa Murni hulur tangan salam). Tuan haji, I come(Bapa Murni hulur tangan salam)Labi, our host is too kind. Please explain to him.Bapa Murni: Sure, Im kind. What can I do for you, boys?Labi: Pak Haji, actually we comeBapa Murni: I see, youve come all along from the mosque.Labu Labi: (tengok each other) Hahaha(sambil angguk)Labi: WeBapa Murni: There was a heavy rain yesterday and there was a big storm too (sambil bapa murni cakap, Labi cuba masuk). It blew away part of the mosque. I summoned the worker, but he came without his bags of cement. Ive done the repair, and I hope you two will help, when needed.Labi: (Nada geram) Our program is spoiled.Bapa Murni: (Pelik) Eheh What happen to you?Labu: Migraine, pak aji.Cikgu Murni: Dad, this is your fanBapa Cikgu Murni: Yes Excuse me Labi: EmmmmHe didnt give us a chance to speak, Labu. If he goes on like this, you do as I instructed you.Bapa Murni: Its so hot. (sambil kipas diri sendiri) Dont you feel it?Labu: Oh, of course, I can bear it.Labi: Yeah..I feel like I m going to explode, pak aji.Bapa Murni: Now, lets continue...what are we up to just now?Labi: Its like thisBapa Murni: You see, the heat is unbearable (Labi cuba nak cakap), you knowfor old man like me Labu: Now?Labi: NoBapa Murni: I suppose the sun is much nearer than usual.Labu: Now?Labi: NoBapa Murni: I have to bath three or four times a dayLabu: Now?Labi: Now! (Labu bangun dan tutup mulut bapa murni) We have come to ask for the marriage of your daughter to our master, Haji Bakhil, approve?Bapa Murni: (bangun & marah) What? Haji Bakhil? (Lari masuk dalam rumah)Labu: I think he agrees.Labi: Alhamdulillah!Bapa Murni: (Keluar bawa penyapu) That old fossil! And you two parasites! (Labu Labi lari keluar sambil mintak ampun)Bapa Murni: (sambil kejar) Dont run! Dont you know that I hate Haji Bakhil! Its lucky that you escape

Scene 7 Haji Bakhils houseLabu Labi arrived at Haji Bakhils house. They were just about to enter when Haji Bakhil call them.Haji Bakhil: What is the result?Labu: Its a tragedy, sir. Her father said that your face resembled a monkey. And, he despised your proposal, sir. He also said that you are an old skunk deserving punishment for your filthy mind. Haji Bakhil: How dare he say that? Is it true, Labi?Labi: Err...Errr...It is true, sir.Haji Bakhil: See this; Ill break his head to pieces with this. If not, Im not Haji Bakhil.Labi: (lari ke Haji bakhil) Sir, Sir, but the girl pacified her father. She said Dad, how dare you said like that! I love him, during my meals, I remember Haji Bakhil and I couldnt sleep because his name always on my lips and I want to die together with him (buat suara perempuan)Haji Bakhil: (Gelak) I know she loves me. ..Labu, what her father says then?Labu: He tied Murni to a pole and beat her till blood come out from her body.Haji Bakhil: Damn it, he has no right to do that to my beloved. Then, what happened?Labu: I can bear it anymore, ask LabiHaji Bakhil: What did he say, Labi?Labi: Emmm...Emmm (sambil pandang Labu)Labu: Tell himLabi: Murni shouted for our help, Abang Labu, Abang Labi, tell Haji Bakhil to wait for me at Qadhis house tonightHaji Bakhil: Good idea, you two goes and releases Murni tonight. Ill be waiting at Qadhis house. (lari masuk) Ill get married tonight! (Excited)

At Cikgu Murnis houseMurnis father feels restless. He tries to get some sleep but he cant. So, he switches his room with Murni. Labu Labi didnt know that. They did as they planned.(Labu Labi kidnap bapa Murni)Qadhis houseTok Kadi: Why have you wrapped the bride?Labu: Shes shy to look at Haji Bakhil who is so handsome.Tok Kadi: Why should her? After all, hes going to be her husband. Who is going to be the witness?Labu: Its me, sirTok Kadi: Sign here. (Labu sign) The other witness?Labi: Its me, sir.Tok Kadi: sign here (Labi sign) The Bridegroom, sign here please (haji Bakhil sign). Mr. Haji Bakhil, unveil the bride and ask her to sign here.(Haji Bakhil buka selimut and takut)Tok Kadi: Heil, Hitler!Bapa Murni: Hey, Haji Bakhil! Yam is not any yam, but yam comes from Padi, Short is not any short but short Hercules with killer punch! Now, take this!Haji Bakhil: Im sorry, father-in-law.Bapa Murni: Father-in-law? Haji bakhil, see you in court!Haji Bakhil: Forgive me, Im a good son-in-lawMiss Murni, help me!

At the courtJudge: The Court decides that Haji Bakhil bin Lebai Kedekut, Labu bin Kundon, Labi bin Kura-KuraIshIshyou three have strange names. You are all found guilty and fined RM500 each or three months imprisonment. What have you got to say, Haji Bakhil?Haji Bakhil: Ill pay the fine, sir.Judge: And you two, Labu and Labi?Labu Labi: He pays for it, sir.Haji Bakhil: Why should I? I refuse to pay for them.Labu: Sir, if you refuse, well go to jail.Haji Bakhil: No!Labi: Whos going to take care of your daughter?Haji Bakhil: Let her die!Labu: This is no joking, sirLabi: Well go to jailHaji Bakhil: You deserve it, idiots!

Haji Bakhil was released as he pays his fine while, Labu Labi were imprison for 3 months.

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