ladies of st. augustine past

Ladies of Saint Augustine’s Past 2008

Ladies of Saint Augustine’s Past

A Theatrical Presentation of Free Verse Monologues Written in the Spirit of Edgar Lee

Master’s Spoon River Anthology

by

Patrick M. Hughes©

Note: This manuscript is adapted from a full length historical musical show, Spirits of St. Augustine, then revised as Diamond Lil’s Ghosts of St. Augustine staged at McKnight’s Little Ireland, St. Augustine, July, August, September 2007, and at Coquina Crossing’s Community Hall in late September. It was reviewed in the St. Augustine Record.

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Playlist

A Chorus of six actresses will recite the Prologue and the Epilogue

Monologues in the order of their appearance:

1. Mary Evans 1730-1792. Sharp businesswoman of 50+ years of age. Managed a pub in The Oldest House, engaged in other successful business ventures but made a big mistake in her third marriage when she wed a penniless Irishman half her age.

2. Frances Kirby Smith 1785-1875, a staunch confederate lady and spy during the Union’s occupation of St. Augustine. At some 80 years of age she rages against the Yankees while recalling the role of St. Augustine’s women in support of the Confederate cause.

3. Mother Superior and Bishop Verot’s misfortunate funeral

4. Ana M. Hughes Marcotte 1853-1913. A brilliant commentator and wit, she helped found the Tatler magazine in 1892 and wrote up gossipy tales of the rich, the famous and the outrageous.

5. Gracie Belle, the Madame at the house for Ladies of Eden on Spanish Street that served a clientele from Flagler’s Hotel. Her personality is the creation of the playwright.

6. Luella Day McConnell, Diamond Lil 1870-1927 was a highly visible public person of many names and faces. A living phantasmagoria that despite many setbacks launched the Fountain of Youth and prevailed over all detractors. Luella tells her story after she died at 57 years of age.

Introductions: Each of the six actresses will introduce one of the other characters. Period costumes (if possible)

Music and Songs to be chosen by a Musical Director

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Prologue

(recited by a chorus of the six actresses)

Welcome all.

We are Ladies of St. Augustine’s past.

The full moon flits between dark clouds

Casting eerie shadows for our spells

And unnatural haunting about the streets,

Above the rooftops, around tall pinnacles.

Welcome! We are Ladies of St. Augustine’s past

Gathered here to entertain with tales of wonder

Since that fateful time when Ponce de Leon,

Set sail from Puerto Rico, northward

In search of Bimimi hoping to find spring waters

So curative, it was said, that an old person

Bathing therein would regain their youth!

Chorus: Rejoice. You are here friends! Welcome all.

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Mary Evans occupies stage right and the Diamond Lil actress center stage, while the others exit.

Introduction to Mary Evans done by the Diamond Lil actress:

Mary Evans 1730-1792 hailed from South Carolina but made her fortune in St. Augustine with the help of two husbands and a pub in The Oldest House. As for her third and youthful husband…he was an absolute disaster.

The Diamond Lil actress exits. Mary Evans remains at stage right throughout her monologue.

Born Mary Evans, in South Carolina

I arrived in St. Augustine 1763

As the Spanish handed over Florida

To the British. A respectable midwife

I made a good living, married once,

And then again to men who grew my

Wealth in land and agriculture,

Managing a tavern at the Oldest House

Near St. Francis Barracks where soldier’s

Pay was squandered on my beer!

But when my second husband died

This wise and wealthy woman of fifty-six

Married a dashing young Irishman

John Hudson who, though he had no

Money was half my age!

The blighter drank and gambled away

My fortune, then destroyed our good name

For after Britain gave Florida back to Spain,

And in the public Plaza no less, the rascal

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Wiped his buttocks with the royal edict

Ordering all foreigners to swear allegiance

To the Spanish crown, earning him a month

In jail and our banishment from the town!

But I toughed it out, survived his many

Betrayals, and with the help of friends

I left behind a handsome estate

When I died in 1792

Exit Mary Evans. Frances Kirby Smith and the Gracie Bell actress enter taking up center stage and stage left respectively.

Introduction to Frances Kirby Smith done by Gracie Bell actress:

When Florida State opted for the Confederacy, Union troops occupied St. Augustine. Many of her sons gave their blood for the South, and back home, the women of St. Augustine did mightily in support of the rebel cause. General Edmund Kirby Smith’s mother, Frances Kirby Smith renowned for her acerbic tongue raged against the Yankees even as she spied on them for the Confederates.

The Gracie Bell actress exits, as Frances Kirby Smith begins her story moving freely about the stage

My son General Edmund Kirby Smith,

Was a Confederate through and through

Like myself, Mrs. Frances Kirby Smith,

Gentle lady that I was. Though I hailed

From Connecticut in 1820, I was no

Yankee, and cursed the day a Union Army

Occupied St. Augustine even before Florida

State opted for the rebel cause, for we were

Betrayed from within and I was known to say

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“That Northern abolitionists freely walked

St. Augustine’s streets enjoying the Southern

Climate, while hating the Southern people”.

So began their vile attempt to exterminate us all,

Forcing me to live under martial law, with pickets

At every corner, blocking all communication

With the countryside, prohibiting movement

After nightfall, leaving us without provisions

Unless we took an oath of allegiance. What me?

Swear allegiance to the devil himself? Never!

My son begged me to curtail my acerbic tongue

But how could I do so, for we suffered the fist

Of an oppressor that pulled the rope tighter and

Tighter around our necks each day, but the women

Of St. Augustine found ways to fight back, in sewing

Clubs that made uniforms, orchestrating mail transport

To our boys, and as for myself, I arranged entertaining

Evenings for the Union officers, plied them with wine,

Crawfish tails, and hushpuppies to loosen their tongues,

While I passed the news of planned maneuvers to our

Military commanders! But then by order of Col. Bell

Such treason by the women of St. Augustine was to be

Punished with jail, and in 1863 a letter from Union

Headquarters demanded that I, Mrs. Smith and others be

Removed from town and obliged to live among those with

Whom we sympathized. So they got me in the end.

A rabble-rouser indeed! What rot these Yankees write!

I pleaded my age, 77, and the doctor wrote of my ill-health,

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But in the end I had to go, though not for long, and when

The war was over, a fiery Mrs. Smith known for her love

Of Southern gentility returned to resist the destructive

Carpetbagger’s so-called Reconstruction during the last

Ten years of life.

Frances Kirby Smith exits as Mother Superior and the Mary Evans actress enter taking up positions at stage right and center stage respectively.Narrator (Evans):The Catholic Church flourished in the early days due to St. Augustine’s Spanish past. However, despite Captain Menendez de Aviles efforts at Matanzas Inlet to keep Protestants at bay, the arrival of the British, the Spanish sale of Florida to the United States in 1821 for a paltry five million dollars, and the arrival of Union Forces in the city brought a new and more mixed religious population to the first coast. During the Civil War, the first Catholic Bishop of St. Augustine openly sided with the rebel cause. Though a devout and holy man who served rich and poor and Yankee alike, it was a great disappointment to all when he seemed to be ill-fated in death despite the best efforts of the Mother Superior who tended to the funeral arrangements.(Mother Superior comes on stage)

Mother Superior and The Bishop’s TombI’m sure dear friends our Bishop did nought in lifeTo deserve his fate in death, nor did I, Mother Superior That fatal day I oversaw the buriel of the first Bishop of Florida, The Most Reverend Jean Pierre Augustin Mercillin Verot,A saintly man of many good works, For though a champion of the rebel’s causeHe took his priests to serve Union soldiers At the dreaded Andersonville prison camp in Georgia.Oh, how I admired this man who died in 1876During the sweltering month of June.With a multitude of celebrities in attendance,We had done our best to preserve The corpse laying it in a holeWith sawdust and ice, which unfortunately

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Did melt! What could I do dashing to and fro,But order an early funeral service Placing the body in a metal casket with glass on top To permit a viewing during the ceremony in a Crowded church that turned into a hot and humid oven So our Bishop did explode, spewing up into the air Like a geyser shattering the glass and horror of all horrors, Filling that sacred space with such a putrid smell That I ran hither and thither in the face of this Unreasonable event, Holy Mother of God. I orderedEveryone out though most had already taken hastily To the street in shock and awe, disgust and fear, Rushing for the doors. Those with stomach for the job Cemented the casket shut, and soon thereafter I became Quite insane, died in fact, and began to haunt theDark streets always with a sense of something left Undone in life, begging the good Lord for explanation Of injustice done to rebel Bishop Jean Verot.

Introduction to Anna M. Hughes Marcotte done by the Frances Kirby Smith actress:

The town of St. Augustine came upon bad times despite its glorious Spanish history. But all that was turned around with the arrival of Henry Morrison Flagler who changed the city forever. The lively goings on of the rich and famous from the United States and Europe at Flagler’s Hotel were reported in the Tatler magazine which Anna M. Hughes Marcotte helped found in 1892. Married to Captain Marcotte she had faced the Sioux at Fort Rice and Fort Lincoln, journeyed with her Captain from Fort Lincoln in 1873 to what is now Fargo with temperatures between 28 and 48 degrees below zero. We can only imagine that facing such dangers only sharpened her wit in preparation for writing the chit-chat page in the Tatler.

Frances Kirby Smith actress exits whileAnna remains at stage right throughout her monologue

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Anna Marcotte here with a gossipy tale from

The pages of Tatler magazine about a party

Of elegant ladies and gentlemen from Chicago,

Guests at the Cordova Hotel where they never ceased

To speak of alligators, expecting to see them on the

Streets, complaining that they only saw little ones

That kids could take home in cigar boxes, and

Never a sign of the dreaded six-foot Florida gators.

Mr. John Conlon grew tired of all this whining that

“the large ones were not seen”, spoke with a well-known

Prankster, Mr. Moorehead, and then proposed that the

Chicagoans should not miss the alligator race around

The corridors of Ponce de Leon Hotel, offering

The tourist’s special reserved seats! A Mrs. Perry

Asked if there were no danger from the giant tails?

But Mr. Conlon assured her that the gators would

Be harnessed like a horse, the tail firmly secured

To every giant galloping alligator’s back. Showing

No fear our Chicagoans paraded across the street

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Giving up their tickets at the Hotel door, and ecstatic

They were seated in the Rotunda, where they paid

Little attention to the showy guests parading about

Henry Flagler’s masterpiece, but as time went by

The Chicagoans grew impatient, but were assured

The race would take place, though in the courtyard

Since the Hotel corridors were terribly overcrowded.

The tourist party strolled amidst exotic plants and trees,

Until informed by Mr. Moorehead that the race, alas

Could not be held because the largest alligator had

Escaped and was running freely about the grounds!

The ladies screamed, raised their skirts, and ran to

Their ‘natural protectors’, and clutching their men,

They begged to be taken away, while the feisty

Mr. Condon took his orange-wood stick going

In pursuit of that dangerous creature, poking

Under bushes and among the flowers for the

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Six-foot alligator that was nowhere to be found!

Finally the ladies dropped their skirts and tiptoed off

But not before Mrs. Perry was overheard to ask a passing

Guest in awe “if the dreadful alligators often got away”

Unfortunately for the pranksters this gentleman was not

In on the game and he revealed to the poor indignant

Ladies that never was such a race about the corridors

Of the grand hotel since the ferocious alligators lived far

From such luxurious surroundings, thank god, in murky

Jungle waters and could not be harnessed like a horse!

The blushing Chicagoans hurried off and we can presume

They will do their best to return the prankish favor some

Other day and thus gave us yet another Tatler tale to

Please the readers of our charming Chit Chat pages.

Anna Marcotte exits as Gracie Belle and the Mother Superior actress enter to take

up center stage and stage right respectively

Introduction to Gracie Belle done by the Mother Superior actress

Miss Gracie Belle ran the most elegant house for Ladies of Eden on Spanish Street. The Madame entertained guests from Flagler’s Hotel which in turn supplied the elegant cuisine. Gracie’s ladies were chosen for their unique

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character traits, special qualities that sent clientele galloping to the front door at opening time every evening.

The Frances Kirby Smith actress exists as Gracie Belle speaks, moving about freely.

Good evening. Welcome to Le Grande Chalet,

A house for Ladies of Eden, here to please the

Gentlemen of St. Augustine in good standing.

This evening, Henry Flagler’s chef has sent us

Pâté en Croûte, oysters on the half shell

To perk up our older guests, Duck Breasts with Pears,

Carré D’Agneau, Salmon Au Champagne,

Crepes with Red Current Jelly, Lady Finger pudding,

Sorbét aux Fruits de la Passion, and those

Scrumptious little cream puffs I love!

No wonder lusty males, fleeing their angelic wives,

Come in droves to Gracie Belle’s, despite the

More convenient secret cubicles on the

Third floor of Flagler’s Riviera Hotel

In pursuit of my charming hostesses dressed in

Haute couture, without old-fashioned constricting

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Corsets, well draped to display loose hips and derriere.

Oh what games these gentlemen like to play!

There’s Lily, the housemaid who looks so pale!

Claire Marie the schoolteacher with horned-

Rimmed glasses and a disciplinary ruler!

Shannon the childlike virgin nurse dressed in white!

There’s dear Mimi, whose youth reflects the splendor

Of this house, and ‘tis no wonder all adore her.

But she must stay away from that hansom,

Fancy talking, good for nothing who arrives

Early, stays late, spends nothing, and upsets

Paying elderly customers with his caustic wit.

As for my French-speaking Mademoiselle,

Mais oui, Yvette, c’est très élégante, c’est perfecte,

She’s attracted to that creepy Frenchman in jodhpurs.

Sacre bleu! Since the bore’s a big spender,

Yvette must know that yawns do not become

A southern belle even if she does speak French!

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Then there’s our latest addition, Rosalie Marie

She’s always late! But never mind, the girl is

Standing in for that silly Blanche who despite

Her airs and graces was far-gone to be in a

House for women without religious vows! (pause)

This is what I tell my girls. No spitting!

No leaning over the banisters displaying

Awesome female wares to guests below

When bringing a gentleman downstairs.

None of those “gestures” please. No profanity.

No raucous laughter for this is Spanish Street

St. Augustine, and we don’t want to remind

The Yankees of where yaw’l came from.

No talk of the South, ‘tis Yankees have the money.

Flirtatious, yet chaste demeanor is allowed

And you may exchange “significant” looks.

Be quiet, respectable, lady-like, the sweet

Essence of southern social refinement!

Light their cigars. Keep their glass full.

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Smoke a fine cigar when offered by a guest,

Or drink my most expensive champagne.

That’s the style for this elegant house,

The best south of the Mason Dixie line,

Leather sofas, imported crystal, sterling silver,

Italian marble. Why I’ll tell yaw’l, ‘tis true,

The rich Mr. James Barton took his young lady

Straight from here to church, and whisked her

Off to New York for their honeymoon

Where she became the toast of the town! (pause)

Attention. Listen. Here come the world’s

Leaders like gallopers in a cavalry charge

At the Bull Run! So put on a smile.

Open the front door. Remember girls,

In this house, whatever a gentleman wants,

He gets!

Gracie Belle exits as Diamond Lil and the Mary Evans actress enter taking up positions at stage right and stage left respectively

Introduction to Diamond Lil:

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The Fountain of Youth is one of the icons of St. Augustine. Undoubtedly the Spaniards did search for a well of spring water that offered hope of eternal youth and discovered St. Augustine, Florida. However it was the sassy Luella Day McConnell, Diamond Lil 1870-1927 who had the imagination and courage to create one of our city’s most distinctive historical attractions. Diamond Lil as she liked to call herself was a living phantasmagoria known by many a name for she created and re-created herself continuously throughout her exotic life.

The Mary Evans actress exits as Diamond Lil begins her story moving freely about the stage.

They see me here they see me there

A phantasmagoria

Known by many names in shifting succession,

A bunch of legends so to speak.

Someone said, who I cannot say,

That I was a Murat, member of the Bonaparte family tree

Well, why not?

Diamond Lil is my favorite moniker.

See the rock in my right front tooth

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There since I was in my twenties seeking gold

In the Klondike rush for fame and fortune.

No place for a lady you might say

With long nights for gossip and play.

A wild one to be sure!

Yukon lore believes I was that Lady known as Lou

At the shooting of Dangerous Dan McGrew

And maybe ‘tis true

But I’ve been branded with many a name,

Mad! Insane! Hysterical! Full of ‘lady complications’

That boring Benson Banker said

When all I did was speak the truth

Of thieves, extortionists, murderers, officialdom high and low

Fingered out by my cutting tongue

For I conjured up a thousand scenes to prick their egos large

And play those men for fools!

Oh. That was fun!

And then I met a tall handsome red-head man,

Edward McConnell whom I did wed

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To become Luella Day McConnell

Rich he was (what other man would do!) with a steamboat, ferry and a mine.

Slave to no man, I availed of this new bully pulpit

To scold those crooked government officials

Who hid behind the veil of ‘public good’

But threats against my life forced us

To leave the snow and take our fortune

To sunny Saint Augustine in 1900

Where I dazzled all with my diamond tooth, ringed fingers

And a fitting ermine wrapped around my shoulders

Taken from a short tailed weasel that strikes its prey

With an accurate bite to the back of the neck.

An appropriate partner for myself so to speak!

Maybe so, but never mind,

“A lady of rare beauty and gracefulness” the Tatler hailed

When we bought some land with an old house and charming well

Surrounded by a square coquina-shell rock wall.

Soon Edward and I took off again

And why you ask? That you may not know,

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For it’s a secret.

I returned two years later, alone,

Divested of my jewelry, ermine coat

And one tall husband who despite rumors that he died,

Had the strange habit of reappearing and disappearing

But all was not lost

For in my travels I acquired a new treasure,

Spanish documents to prove the landing of Ponce de Leon,

None other, mind you well, on the very property we had purchased,

And there discovered the Fountain of Youth,

Where he laid stones in the form of a cross, fifteen by thirteen

To indicate that blessed year 1513

When he discovered my backyard!

Building an archway entrance, I charged ten cents a glass

For water that gave hope of Eternal Youth to all!

Then along comes stuffy spiteful Emily Wilson,

Of failing health, no less,

And much in need of that sacred water,

Displaying her many documents to prove it was all a scam.

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No one listened!

And why should they, for in 1909

The St. Augustine Record proclaimed

The cross of coquina stones a “genuine relic

Of the earliest date in St. Augustine history”!

So! Luella Day McConnell, Diamond Lil herself

Prevailed o’er all detractors.

And why not?

Though I died living dangerously in a motor accident

You find me here today, young, fair, witty,

A go-gettin female, crazy as an ermine. As ever!

Diamond Lil remains on stage in static pose while the other actors parade on stage to form the Chorus that recites the Epilogue

Epilogue

So ends our charming blend of

Ladies from St. Augustine’s past.

We who have shared our stories

Invite all to take pride in this land

Of eternal youth, raise up the

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Living torch of St. Augustine

And take us forward in peace

Moving forward on the last line, the cast bows once, and then once more

END

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ladies of st. augustine past

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