Leħen Familji Nsara April 2014 ● Ħarġa Nru 19

Kummissjoni Familja Naxxar

żuru l-webpage tal-Kummissjoni Familja Naxxar Għafas hawn biex tmur fil-paġna ● e-mail: familjiflimkien@gmail.com

Merħba!

Merħba għall-ħarġa oħra tan-newsletter

qasira tagħna. Il-Kummissjoni Familja

Naxxar ser tkompli bil-laqgħat ta'

formazzjoni għall-miżżewġin.

Nistednukom għal-laqgħa dwar "Marital

difficulties related to substance abuse

and other addictions" immexxija minn

Jesmond Friggieri, nhar is-Sibt 26 ta’ April

2014 fis-7:30pm fl-Annex tal-Knisja

Parrokkjali fin-Naxxar.

Tagħlimiet minn koppja divorzjata Nixtiequ naqsmu magħkom tlett riflessjonijiet ta’ koppja li ilhom divorzjati xi għoxrin sena.

Konna egoisti wisq

L-egoiżmu jfarrak żwieġ. Fiż-żwieġ, egoiżmu ma jfissirx li ma tikkunsidrawx lil xulxin; ifisser li tqis

lilek innifsek l-ewwel, l-aktar u ‘l fuq mir-raġel jew mill-mara tiegħek. Wara li tissodisfa il-

bżonnijiet emozzjonali, soċjali, spiritwali, sesswali u fiżiċi tiegħek taħseb dwar xi ħtiġijiet li jista’

jkollu żewġek jew il-mara tiegħek.

Inti ma tkunx egoist meta taħseb fil-parti l-oħra qabel il-bżonnijiet tiegħek. Dan ma jfissirx li

titraskura lilek innifsek, għaliex imbagħad lanqas ma tkun ta’ għajnuna għar-raġel jew il-

mara tiegħek. Żwieġ tajjeb hu meta t-tnejn taġixxu b'dan il-mod. Iżda jekk wieħed biss jibda

jaħseb aktar fil-parti l-oħra, dan jista’ jkun il-pass meħtieġ biex noħorġu miċ-ċirku vizzjuż tal-

egoiżmu.

Aħna ma investejniex f’xulxin

Din il-koppja kellhom ĦAFNA impenji! It-tnejn jaħdmu full-time, u r-raġel part-time ukoll.

Kienu jindirizzaw problemi finanzjarji billi jaħdmu wara l-ħin. Kellhom żewġt itfal li

jibagħtuhom privat u bosta attivitajiet wara l-iskola biex jagħtuhom edukazzjoni sħiħa! Rari

kienu jieħdu vaganza u wisq inqas flimkien.

Dan ma kienx nuqqas ta’ wieħed mill-koppja, t-tnejn ammettew li ma ddedikawx ħin u

m’għamlux sforz biex isaħħu mħabbithom. Intom qed tinvestu l-ħin, l-enerġija, u l-flus fiż-

żwieġ tiegħek? Jekk le qed, tilgħab man-nar. Veru l-ħajja mgħaġġla, dejjem għaddejjin ...

nieqfu naħsbu ... tridu ‘l quddiem tirriflettu u tgħidu "Aħna ma investejniex f’xulxin"?

Iż-żwieġ tagħna ma ħadimx

Konflitti, nuqqas ta’ komunikazzjoni, xi aħbar ħażina u diversi pressjonijiet oħra jseħħu f’kull

żwieġ. Iżda dawk li jafdaw fi Kristu għandhom sostenn ta’ grazzja, imħabba u paċenzja

meħtieġa biex jkunu jifilħu u jegħlbu kwalunkwe toqol ta’ ħajja miżżewġa.

‘L fuq minn seklu ilu t-teologu Handley Moul qal hekk, "M'hemm l-ebda sitwazzjoni hekk

kaotika li Alla ma jistax joħloq minnha xi ħaġa mill-isbaħ. Dan seħħ fil-ħolqien, seħħ fuq is-

salib, u jseħħ illum." Jista’ jseħħ fiż-żwieġ tagħkom ukoll.

Addattat minn newsletter ta’ Kevin B. Bullard fuq http://www.marriageworks.us/

żuru l-webpage tal-Kummissjoni Familja Naxxar Għafas hawn biex tmur fil-paġna ● e-mail: familjiflimkien@gmail.com

The joy of ‘Yes Forever!’ One does not get married once all problems

are solved. One marries to face problems

together. It is possible to take the risk of

saying “forever”, it takes courage, but

“forever” brings joy and allows us to look to

the future with hope. Many people are

afraid of making decisions for all their lives,

because it seems impossible. Many say, 'We

will stay together for as long as our love lasts'.

But what is ‘Love’?

A mere emotion, a psycho-physical state? If

it is just this, it cannot provide the foundation

for building something solid. If however love

is a relationship, then it is a growing reality,

that it is built in the same way that we build a

house. And we build a house together! You

would not wish to build on the shifting sands

of emotions, but on the rock of true love, the

love that comes from God. The family is born

of this project of love that wishes to grow, as

one builds a house that becomes the locus

of affection, help, hope and support. Just as

God's love is stable and lasts forever, we

want the love on which a family is based to

be stable and to last forever. We must not

allow ourselves to be conquered by a

'throwaway culture'.

Give us this day our daily love

This fear of 'forever' is cured by entrusting

oneself to Jesus in a life that becomes a

spiritual path of shared growth, day by day.

'Forever' is not simply a question of duration!

A marriage does not succeed just because it

lasts; its quality is important. To stay together

and to know how to love each other forever

is the challenge married couples face! In the

Our Father prayer we say, 'Give us this day

our daily bread'. Married couples should

also pray, 'Give us this day our daily love',

teach us to love each other, to care for

each other. The more you entrust yourselves

to the Lord, the more your love will be

'forever', able to renew itself and to

overcome every difficulty.

Please, thank you, sorry ...

Living together is an art, a patient, beautiful

and fascinating journey, which can be

summarised in three words: please, thank

you and sorry. 'Please' is a request to enter

into the life of someone else with respect

and care. True love does not impose itself

with hardness and aggression. St. Francis

said that 'courtesy is the sister of charity, it

extinguishes hatred and kindles love'. And

today, in our families, there is a need for far

more courtesy. 'Thank you': gratitude is an

important sentiment. In your relationship, it is

important to keep alive your awareness that

the other person is a gift from God, and we

should always give thanks for gifts from God.

It is not merely a word to use with strangers,

to be polite. It is necessary to know how to

say thankyou, to journey ahead together.

'Sorry'. In our lives we make many mistakes.

We all do. And this is why we need to be

able to use this simple word, 'sorry'. In

general we are all ready to accuse others

and to justify ourselves. It is an instinct that

lies at the origins of many disasters. Let us

learn to recognise our mistakes and to

apologise. We are all aware that the

perfect family does not exist, nor does the

perfect husband, nor the perfect wife. We

exist and we are sinners. Jesus, who knows

us well, teaches us: never let a day go by

without asking for forgiveness, or without

restoring peace to your home. If we learn to

apologise and to forgive each other, the

marriage will last.

Adapted from a talk by Pope Francis to engaged couples

in St. Peter’s Square on 14 February 2014