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The Philly college bucket list. Plus more on upcoming events, drink, food, movies, and the arts.

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Page 1: Philly Weekly 8-26-2015
Page 2: Philly Weekly 8-26-2015
Page 3: Philly Weekly 8-26-2015

phillyweekly.com | August 26 - September 2, 2015 | Philly Weekly | 3

Philly NowWHAT TO DO IN & AROUND THE CITY • MORE AT PHILLYWEEKLY.COM

Tell us about your upcoming events! Email info to managing editor Anastasia Barbalios at: [email protected]

FESTIVAL

Invisible River 2015The Schuylkill River is a central piece

of Philadelphia’s geography, a huge curving reality that’s greatly respon-

sible for the way many of our neighborhoods are shaped. Yet most of us have very little re-lationship with it; it’s just a barrier to cross, a vista to drive past, a word to say. Alie Vidich, artistic & executive director of the Invisible River festival, thinks it’s high time for that to change. That’s why, this Saturday, Invis-ible River 2015 will bring together art, dance, boating and green sensibilities for a nonstop afternoon and evening of riverside fun.

“We use art and recreation as a vehicle to get more people involved in the life of the river,” Vidich says, “so they could see the possibilities that seem invisible to most of us: swimming on the river, more boating op-portunities for all, healthier creeks that lead from our neighborhoods to the river, and the chance to make the Schuylkill a community space.”

There will be paddleboard dancers and aer-ialists spinning above the water, suspended from Strawberry Mansion Bridge. There will be futuristic river art. There will be public

canoe and kayak rentals. There will be yoga, fishing and circus classes; there will be food trucks; and there will be Sly Fox Beer. There will be bike racks and Phlash shuttles. There should be you, too. —S.H.S.

Sat., Aug. 29. 2pm: Music processional from Mander Recreation Center, 2140 N. 33rd St., to river site at St. Joseph’s University Boat-house, 2200 Kelly Dr. 5:30pm: Finale perfor-mance. Event continues until 8pm. Attendance on shore is free; boat rentals are available online in advance. More info: invisibleriver.org

Stephen H. SegalEditor & art director

[email protected]

Twitter: @stephenhsegal

Sheena Lester Arts & culture editor

[email protected]

Twitter: @sheenalester

Anastasia BarbaliosManaging editor

[email protected]

Twitter: @phillyweekly

Bill ChenevertSenior A&E writer

[email protected]

Twitter: @billchenevert

Facebook: Philly Weekly

Twitter: @phillyweekly

Instagram: @phillyweekly

CONNECT WITH US!

Jay Sterin General manager

Phone: 215.563.7400 ext 163

[email protected]

Ray Cross Senior account executive

Phone: 215.563.7400 ext 116

[email protected]

Dana S. Belka Senior account executive

Phone: 215.563.7400 ext 126

[email protected]

Charles Wiedenmann Senior account executive

Phone: 215.563.7400 ext 159

[email protected]

Kevin Matuszak Account executive

Phone: 215.563.7400 ext 134

[email protected]

Callie McGill Account executive

Phone: 215.563.7400 ext 144

[email protected]

ADVERTISE WITH US!

22 CLASSIFIED 24 REAL ESTATE

14 FOOD & DRINKCheap eats, good taste

19 MUSICDear Made In America.. .

IN THIS ISSUE:

21 SAVAGE LOVEAbout Ashley Madison

13 FEATUREThe Philly college bucket list

Classifieds: 215.354.3054

16 CULTUREPainting the Naked Bike Ride

20 SCREEN & PAGEHigh-flying adventure

Catch the one arts fest that happens on the Schuylkill.

Page 4: Philly Weekly 8-26-2015

4 | Philly Weekly | August 26 - September 2, 2015 | phillyweekly.com

PHILLY NOW WEDNESDAY, AuguSt 26MuSICP.M. @ Penn Museum: Red Hot Ramblers Step back into the Roaring ’20s with this authentic jazz ensemble as the Ramblers perform the rhythms and melodies that made the age special. 5pm. $10. Penn Museum, 3260 South St. 215.898.4000. penn.museum

COMEDYStand up At the MoviesGrab your popcorn and take your seats for a night of standup comedy, live music and film screenings. The event, hosted by KeithFromUpDaBlock, features comedian Anthony Moore and live per-formances from Aviance Musiq and Ken Khaoss. 8pm. $25. Pearl Movie Theatre, 1600 N Broad St.

Guardians of the Galaxy

tHuRSDAY, AuguSt 27

SCREENBergman’s Actresses: PersonaWhat happens when a popular actress suddenly becomes mute? Watch mo-ments of frustration and tenderness in Ivo van Hogh’s U.S. adaption of Persona. 7:30pm. $10. PFS Roxy Theater, 2023 Sansom St. filmadelphia.org

OutDOORSStroll the Street: Walk, Dine and EatStroll through Main Street and browse through a selection of food trucks, antique vendors and artisan pieces. Participating restaurants will be offering $5 cocktails and appetizers. 5pm. Free. Manyunk, 4132 Main St. manayunk.com

SCREEN

Screening under the Stars: guardians of the galaxyLast summer’s blockbuster hit—starring Chris Pratt, Vin Diesel, Bradley Cooper and Zoe Saldana as the interstellar comic-book characters come to life—is screened outdoors on the waterfront. 8:30pm. Free. Great Plaza at Penn’s Landing, 101 S. Columbus Blvd. delawareriverwaterfront.com

Page 5: Philly Weekly 8-26-2015

phillyweekly.com | August 26 - September 2, 2015 | Philly Weekly | 5

THEATER | RESTAURANT | BAR | BEER GARDEN | LATE NIGHT

150+ shows all over Philadelphia, featuring the most provocative national and international innovators in theater, dance, music, and more.

September 3–19

Tickets on sale now! FringeArts.com215.413.1318140 N Columbus Blvd (at Race St)

The official afterparty, with rare concerts by artists breaking new ground in rock, electronic, hip-hop, soul, and more. Curated by King Britt and Kate Watson-Wallace / anonymous bodies.

Spank Rock • Helado NegroXenia Rubinos • Saul Williams+more!

Festival Late

Night

Page 6: Philly Weekly 8-26-2015

6 | Philly Weekly | August 26 - September 2, 2015 | phillyweekly.com

SCREENMovies in the Park: CasablancaSee the timeless classic heralded as one of the best films of all time. Bring your own blanket and enjoy snacks from Chewy’s, Pitruco Pizza and Weckerly’s Ice Cream. 8:15pm. Free. Clark Park,4398 Chester Ave. universitycity.org/movies-clark-park

PERFORMANCEJesus Benavente: The FoolBenavente brings his fearless talents to Philly to dazzle audi-ences with his inventive performance style. Witness his brash series of funny videos, sneaky jokes and false bravado for one night only. 6pm. Free. Icebox Project Space,1400 N. American St. 215.232.3203. cranearts.com

EXHIBITHip-Hop In Focus PhillyLearn more about hip-hop’s golden-era artists through music photographer Carolyn Grady’s exhibition. On select days, enjoy spoken word poetry performances. 1pm. Free. Mount Olivet Rec-reation Center. 642 N. 41st St. rhythmicimages.com

DRINKFriday Night Flights: ABC’s of WineEnjoy special wine tasting flights with themes from differ-ent importers. Hear from industry experts while snacking on delicious cheeses and hors d’ouerves. 6pm. $35. Panorama Ristorante, 14 North Front St. panoramaristorante.com

STAGEMuch Ado About NothingShakespeare’s bitingly comedic tale of love comes alive in the Powel House Garden. Bring your lawn chair or blanket to wit-ness the classic play with a poignant, modern twist. Directed by Josh Hitchens. 6:30pm. $15. Through Aug. 30. The Powel House, 244 S. Third St.

PARTYArt After 5It’s the long-standing gold standard by which all other artsy nightlife series are judged. Every Friday, world-class musicians take to the museum’s grand staircase. This week, it’s the Brazil-ian/reggae/Afrobeat ensemble Dendê and Band. 5pm. Free with museum admission. Philadelphia Museum of Art, 2600 Benjamin Franklin Pkwy. philamuseum.org

PHILLY NOW FRIDAY, AuGuST 28

OuTDOORS

Twilight in the GardensBring your own drinks and blankets to enjoy a performance by My Son Bison and make your own fiber art piece with the help of Stefanie Fuoco. Also enjoy an Instagram hunt and a guided tour of the amaz-ing gardens. 7pm. $15. Philly Magic Gardens, 1020 South St. 215.733.0390. phillymagicgardens.org

THIS WEEK ON THE OuTSKIRTS

EXPOSports Card, Toy, Comic & Collectibles Browse more than 125 tables of sports cards, Yu-Gi-Oh, Magic, Pokemon, unopened toys, Legos, games, comic books, beanie babies and much more. Aug. 28-30. Free. Wildwoods Convention Center, 4501 Board-walk, Wildwood, N.J. rksportspromotions.com

MuSICDylan Fest ACA musical celebration of the birthplace of Bob Dylan and the Band on the 50th anniversary of where it happened, in August 1965, following Dylan’s perfor-mance at the Newport Folk Festival in Somers Point.

Enjoy performances by Peter Stone Brown and the 5 Believers, along with vendors, authors, art exhibits, wine tastings and more. Fri., Aug. 28, 7:30pm. $8-$18. Dante Hall Theater,14 N. Mississippi Ave., Atlantic City, N.J. dylanfest-ac.com

FESTIVALNorth American Sea Glass FestivalThe 10th annual festival dedicated to sea glass fea-tures more than 50 sea glass artisans and authors, along with expert workshops, educational displays and more. Sat., Aug. 29, 10am. $5. Roland E. Powell Convention Center, 4001 Coastal Hwy., Ocean City, Md. seaglassassociation.org

SHOWAtlantic City Air Show: Thunder Over the BoardwalkOne of the largest attractions each year at the shore, the Atlantic City Air Show is an exciting display of unique aircrafts, pilot skills and fast-and-furious flying. This year’s performers include U.S. Navy Blue Angels, U.S. Army Golden Knights, Geico Skytyp-ers and other military and civilian acts. Don’t miss aerobatic pilot Andrew Wright as he attempts to set a Guinness World Record for most inverted flat spins in his Carbon Fiber Airshows G202 monoplane. Wed., Sept. 2, 11am. Free. Over Atlantic City Beaches, Atlantic City, N.J. airshow.acchamber.com

Photo by Johanna Austin

Page 7: Philly Weekly 8-26-2015

phillyweekly.com | August 26 - September 2, 2015 | Philly Weekly | 7

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Page 8: Philly Weekly 8-26-2015

8 | Philly Weekly | August 26 - September 2, 2015 | phillyweekly.com

MUSICReggae in the ParkThe outdoor summer music fest returns with performances from Damian “Jr. Gong” Marley, Stephen “Ragga” Marley, Morgan Heritage, Black Am I, 9 Mile Roots, I Yahn I Arkestra and other legend-ary reggae artists. Catch live DJ sets on the main plaza, arts & crafts, Caribbean food and more. 3pm. $39.50-$89.50. Mann Center, 5201 Parkside Ave. manncen-ter.org

OUTDOORS40th Street Summer SeriesThe outdoor family-friendly concert series returns with a special hometown performance by the Sun Ra Arkestra. The festivities continue with the South Pacific Island Dancers, free Ben & Jerry’s ice cream and Philly pretzels. 6pm. 40th and Walnut sts. universitycity.org/40th-street-summer-series

KIDSBack to School BazaarGet ready for the upcoming school year by buying, trading or selling new or gently used school supplies and uni-forms. Unsold items can be donated to Cradles to Crayons, a nonprofit dedicated to providing children with the essential items needed for school and at home. Noon. Smith Memorial Playground, 3500 Reservoir Drive.

WORKSHOPComedySportz Open HouseEver wondered if you could hack it as a comedian? During this free class, learn the basics of improv with the city’s lon-gest-running comedy show. You’ll play ComedySportz-style games—similar to what you may have seen on Whose Line Is It Anyway?—and learn how to keep the show going. 1pm. CSz Philadelphia, 2030 Sansom St. comedysportzphilly.com

RUNPhilly 10KRace through the heart of Philadelphia and finish with a post-race festival on South Street where runners will receive a PBC beer and Federal Donuts-infused shake shack custard. 7:30am. 8th and South sts. thephilly10k.com

COMEDYKevin HartThe proud Philly native, one of the biggest names in Hollywood today, is back with the What Now? tour, his fifth national outing, and he’s left audiences sobbing and exhausted. Not bad, hometown hero. 8pm. Lincoln Financial Field. 1 Lincoln Financial Field Way. lincolnfinancialfield.com

SPORTSBelmont Plateau Cross Country ClassicCelebrate the 50th anniversary of the Belmont Plateau in an open race for all levels. Run on this historic Philadelphia course, and see the new trail signage made possible by fundraising efforts from the Fairmount Park Conservancy and Philadelphia Parks & Recreation. 9am. Montgomery Drive and Belmont Mansion Drive. myphillypark.org

PHILLY NOW SaTURDaY, aUgUST 29

SUNDaY, aUgUST 30

DaNCEBurlesque Is ComingThis Game of Thrones burlesque tribute show was given the stamp of approval from George R.R. Martin himself. Hosted by Ego Von Hubris, the event features dancers Lily Liqueur, Zadora Zaftig, Bree MaDonna and Xander Lovecraft, along with comedians Ray Bullock and Moxie LaBouche. 9pm. $12-$15. The Trocadero, 1003 Arch St. thetroc.com

Page 9: Philly Weekly 8-26-2015

phillyweekly.com | August 26 - September 2, 2015 | Philly Weekly | 9

Red Hot RamblersWEDNESDAY, AUG. 26, 5:00 - 8:00 PM

An authentic 1920s jazz ensemble exemplifying the red-hot syncopation, stompin’ rhythms, and lyrical melodies associated with the Jazz Age.

@ PENN MUSEUM

Where else in the city can $10 buy you live music withinternational fl avor, a relaxed green space, and after-hours

admission to a world-class museum?

3260 South Street, Phila.215.898.4000 www.penn.museum/summernights

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Page 10: Philly Weekly 8-26-2015

10 | Philly Weekly | August 26 - September 2, 2015 | phillyweekly.com

TAG #THE PORCHAT30TH

Tuesday, sepTember 1

Wednesday, sepTember 2

sTaGe

exit the KingEugene Ionesco’s classic play follows 400-year-old King Berenger as he rules over his decaying kingdom wearing pajamas and partying his days away. Directed by Tina Brock. 7:30pm. $25. Through Sept. 20. Walnut Street Theatre, Independence Studio on 3, 825 Walnut St. idiopathicridiculopathyconsortium.org

musICp.m. @ penn museum: animusThe Penn Museum’s summer concert series concludes with a performance by Animus, blending ancient and modern music with traditional elements of Greek, rock, Middle Eastern, blues, Indian and jazz. 5pm. $10. Penn Museum, 3260 South St. 215.898.4000. penn.museum

COmedyJen KirkmanThe stand-up comic is best known for her role as the narrator on Drunk History, as well as a roundtable regular on Chelsea Lately. Kirkman is also the author of The New York Times bestseller I Can Barely Take Care of Myself: Tales From a Happy Life Without Kids. She is joined by Comedy Central staple Allison Castillo. 7:30pm. $14.50. Underground Arts, 1200 Callowhill St. 215.627.1332. undergroundarts.org

pHILLy nOW mOnday, auGusT 31

TaLKpolice Commissioner Charles ramseyAs part of Eastern State Penitentiary’s Searchlight Series—an ongoing series about crime, justice and the prison system—Philadelphia Police Commissioner Charles Ramsey talks about running one of the nation’s largest police forces. 6pm. Free. East-ern State Penitentiary, 2027 Fairmount Ave. easternstate.org/searchlight-series

Photo by Johanna Austin

Page 11: Philly Weekly 8-26-2015

phillyweekly.com | August 26 - September 2, 2015 | Philly Weekly | 11

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Page 12: Philly Weekly 8-26-2015

12 | Philly Weekly | August 26 - September 2, 2015 | phillyweekly.com

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BATH & BODYBlithe and Bonny products at VerdeOne step into this Gayborhood staple is akin to a literal trip to bountiful, as it’s absolutely abundant in amazing items to wear, beautify and simply add joy in spades—but there’s something incredibly special about the Blithe and Bonny products among Verde’s body-and-bath inventory. One, they are handmade, using high quality ingredients from U.S.-based suppliers and recyclable packaging. Two, their very-cool labels are printed on actual pages from real books that’d otherwise be clogging landfills, so no two are identical. And three, they’re just dope in general. The grapefruit hand

and body lotion, in particular, is a must-have; it’s full of natural aloe, cucumber, calendula and chamomile extracts and completely free of potentially harmful parabens or sulfites. More importantly: Its verbena-enhanced scent is powerful, enthralling and long-lasting. Grab the matching soy candle to enjoy, too. Who it’s for: Luxuriant bath obsessives, folks with dry skin, candle collectors, supporters of ethical indie businesses of every stripe. Where to get it: Verde, 108 S. 13th St. verdephiladelphia.com —S.L.

JEWELRYFlower of Life ring at Mushmina BoutiqueSarah Lewis calls her Tribe Jewelry designs “fashion talismans for modern tribal culture,” an apt description for the gorgeous assort-ment of wearable art she’s been producing in Philly, Thailand and India. That global aes-thetic is apparent in her stunning gem-filled necklaces, bracelets and rings, which run the gamut from the simple to the elaborate, not to mention her handbags and home-decor artistry aimed at higher consciousness. This ring, though, which features her carved Flower of Life pattern, captures the essence of what gives Lewis’ work resonance: Three polished turquoise stones are set in oxidized bronze—Lewis makes a silver ver-sion too, available via the Tribe website—lining vertically to best showcase their natural beauty. Worn alone or aside other rings, it’s a standout, as is the rest of what this passionate young visionary brings to bear. Who it’s for: Lovers of Southwest Ameri-can culture, rabid ring wearers, free-spirited witchy women, ladies who adore all things bohemian and badass. Where to get it: Mushmina Boutique, 164 E. Lancaster Ave., in Wayne. 610.293.8089. tribe-jewelry.com —SHEENA LESTER

PRETTY RiNgS, SCENTED THiNgS & BARgAiN kiNgS

THRiFTChicken tchotchkes at A Part of MeVintage stores win, period, ‘cause, hey, what’s not to love? Nothing beats discovering hidden gems amid their racks of ultra-affordable, often one-of-a-kind wardrobe additions for both sexes and shelves of rare, quirky collectibles and objet d’art. A Part of Me, the consign-ment/thrift shop in the heart of West Philly’s Powelton Village neighborhood, has been the go-to spot for shopaholics with both shrewd eyes and limited budgets since it opened its doors—and lord knows it never comes up short. Take this curated col-lection of fowl-festooned pieces we ran past recently outside its doors: Cute, inexpen-sive decorative conversation pieces that, even if you weren’t necessarily into chickens that seriously, would make you at least stop to see what else they’ve got that may be worth a glance or two. And once you’ve perused their mix of the used and the new, you’ll make A Part of Me part of your regular browse-and-buy destinations. Who it’s for: Proud cheapskates, flea market fanciers, fashionistas inspired by the thrill of the hunt. Where to get it: A Part of Me, 3834 Lancaster Ave. apartofme.net —S.L.

Page 13: Philly Weekly 8-26-2015

phillyweekly.com | August 26 - September 2, 2015 | Philly Weekly | 13

Congrats, college students—you’ve just moved to Philadelphia, prompting hometown folks to

offer helpful advice like: “Be careful!” Our city is an odd little gem: small enough to navigate easily but big enough that you can avoid that person you drunkenly made out with your first night here.

When I moved here for grad school ten years ago, I figured it was temporary. But I fell deeply, madly in love with Phila-delphia’s weirdness, gritty edge and the quality of housing available for less than a grand a month. Sure, it’s mean and scary at times—it’s a city. But by venturing out into the corners and trying all the cool things being offered, I found a place full of magic, excitement and community. I found a home.

Your stay here may be brief—perhaps just long enough to get a degree that will land you an exciting career in retail—or maybe you’ll fall in love with the place and stay so long you catch yourself using the word “jawn.” Either way, make use of its treasures while you’ve got the chance. Here are 10 things you absolutely have to try before you graduate.

See the Mütter Museum. Sure, we’ve got museums that showcase fine art and groundbreaking science, but only one that features a nine-foot-long human colon and Grover Cleveland’s malignant

tumor. Both your amazement and your vague unease at the medical world’s mir-acles will mount as you check out the Wet Specimens collection (which, to be fair, is not quite as sexy as the name implies). Similarly quirky, check out the Wagner Free Institute, a collection of Victorian-era science exhibits. (muttermuseum.org)

Visit the top of City Hall. I lived here for years before I found out I could take a ludicrously tiny elevator 500 feet up to William Penn’s shoes. It’s one of the cool-est views imaginable, at the top of the na-tion’s largest and tallest City Hall. For only $6, it’s a pretty cheap thrill too. (phila.gov)

Do the Naked Bike Ride. If you want to tap into your exhibitionist/athletic/ac-tivist side, this is the perfect week for it. Promote sustainable transportation and positive body image by cycling around town with a bunch of other naked people this Saturday. (Read more on page 16.) You don’t have to be nude—it’s an “as bare as you dare” type of event with a clear code of conduct—but it’ll definitely get that whole “I wonder what he looks like na-ked” thing with your crush out of the way. (phillynakedbikeride.org)

Go to Eastern State Penitentiary. An experiment in holistic punishment that housed infamous criminals in its heyday,

Eastern State is now a brilliantly creepy must-see tourist destination. Nationally renowned for its Halloween-season “Ter-ror Behind the Walls,” the old jail makes for a great day trip year-round. Go for the ghosts, the amazing dilapidated architec-ture, or the audio tour narrated by Steve Buscemi. (easternstate.org)

Follow the abolitionist trail. Centuries af-ter our nation’s founding, civil rights and racial justice are still major issues, and Philly is where the fight got underway: The first society to end American slavery was started here. Spend a weekend with the Quest for Freedom, checking out the history of the abolitionists who already understood way back in the 17th century that black lives matter. (visitphilly.com)

Try a Toynbee Tile scavenger hunt. Im-mortalized in the documentary Resur-rect Dead, these iconic, mysterious street tiles are embedded on roads throughout North and South America, but are most heavily concentrated in Philly. The cryp-tic plaques refer to “Toynbee Idea,” “In Movie 2001” and the “Planet Jupiter” and are randomly placed throughout the city. Join up with some friends to see how many you can find and photograph.

Catch a drag show at Bob & Barbara’s. Known for its invention of the oft-imitat-

FEATURE Above: Every city’s got museums, but only Philly has the Mütter Museum. (Photo by George Wildman)

The Philly college bucket listTen things every student should try before graduating. by TIMAREE SCHMIT @timaree_leigh

ed Citywide Special (only Google that if you’re 21), South Street dive Bob & Bar-bara’s is home to some of the most weird and entertaining shows in the city. Find-ing a more diverse audience would be im-possible, as punks, queers and suits stand side by side to bask in the warming glow of some late night drag. (bobandbarbaras.com)

Experience “Nightscape” at Longwood Gardens. Now, I would never advocate doing recreational drugs, because that’s illegal and the law should obviously be the arbiter of what you do with your own body, but I would point out that the nighttime light-and-sound show run-ning through October at Longwood Gar-dens is, like, totally awesome. The me-ticulously tended greenery is beautiful in sunlight, too, and makes for a romantic quickie day trip. (longwoodgardens.org)

Watch the Mummers Parade. New Year’s Day is a way off, but at some point while you live here, pry yourself out of bed early enough on Jan. 1 to see some of the city’s loudest straight people prance around in “fancy brigades.” It’s the city’s big, silly, family-friendly costume party. (mummersmuseum.com)

Volunteer. Not only will it be excellent resume fodder, volunteering is a great way to befriend your community and use your skills. Play in the dirt at Bartram’s Gardens; tell stories with older folks at “Best Day of My Life So Far” or help out at the Philadelphia Film Festival. Aside from the good accomplishments, you never know who you’ll meet: maybe your next boss, new friends or a total hottie who shares your passions. n

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14 | Philly Weekly | August 26 - September 2, 2015 | phillyweekly.com

O nce upon a time, my college diet consisted of the usual sorts of off-campus goodies: pizza and

stromboli, bad General Tso’s chicken and oil-glistening fried rice, massive heart-burn-inducing burritos about as authen-tically Mexican as neon green guacamo-le-in-a-bag. That was off in State College; meanwhile, friends who attended college closer to home, at Drexel and Penn and Temple, told tales of eating food slightly more adventurous and interesting—a natural consequence, I suppose, of go-ing to school in a major city. These days, it’s even more so: The Philly food scene offers college students around the area even more options than ever before—and plenty of them are priced for eating on a tight budget.

In the city, there are, of course, plenty of great choices. The SpOt Burger cart, right near Drexel’s School of Hospitality and Sport Management, is always a wor-thy lunch—they’re opening a brick and mortar shop soon on West Girard—and the food trucks all around that area are impressive. Head to 33rd and Arch and wander through the various trucks and carts perched about.

Where to eat toward the University of Pennsylvania? My most carnivorous friend, Penn guy and frequent restau-rant-review companion Martin Ihrig, raves about Greek Lady Restaurant (222 S. 40th Street): “[The] value for money is great,” he explained. “For example, you get a huge garden salad with gyro meat on top for under $10—’huge’ as in I eat it for lunch, but normal people can easily get two meals out of it.”

He also digs Beijing at 37th and Spruce, which, he explains, is “super popular with university staff” and home to a meal that can be enjoyed for just about $11. Jessica Fry, a grad student at Penn going for her M.S. Ed. in higher education administra-tion, suggests: “When I do eat out, it is usually at one of the nearby food trucks. I really appreciate all of the vegetarian options they have. MexiCali [at 38th and Walnut] is really good: Their ingredients always seem really fresh, and I can eat there for $4-$5. They grill their burritos, which are made to order, and offer bur-rito bowls as an alternative. The falafel at Halal [across the street from MexiCali] is also very good, again for about $5. The falafel is really soft, not overly fried, and

very flavorful. I get the rice plate, which has curried veggies, rice and falafel.”

Emory McLeod, a program assistant at Drexel’s Center for Hospitality and Sport Management, says it’s all about the food trucks. “There are so many great places popping up around Drexel. My go-to plac-es are KAMI and Cucina Zapata: both awesome, both under $10,” she says. “KAMI typically shows up on 33rd and Arch. They are primarily a Korean food truck with an American spin. I highly recommend the bibimbap with beef or the Korean cheeses-teak made with cream cheese—to die for! Cucina Zapata is parked permanently on 31st and Ludlow. I’m obsessed with their Cap’n Crunch Tilapia burrito and their chicken satay taco. Pair one of those with their Thai iced tea, and you have a perfect meal. And the owner is one of our alums!”

McLeod also loves Pitruco, which hits Drexel’s neighborhood on Thursdays, for its on-board wood-burning pizza oven. Another favorite is Schmear It: “They’re on Market between 33rd and 34th every Thursday. All of their specialties are made with fresh ingredients, which I love. Their veggie cream cheese actually has real vegetables mixed in—imagine that!”

FEATURE Above: It’s all about the food trucks, yo. (Photo by J.R. Blackwell)

Cheap eats!Where are Philly campus folk dining well on a student’s budget? by bRIAN FREEDMAN @WineUpdate

Alex De Los Reyes, a junior in Drexel’s culinary arts program, is a fan of the school’s Academic Bistro on the sixth floor of the Paul Peck Problem Solving and Research Center. (Disclosure: I have hosted wine events there.) “It’s the best deal in Philly,” he says. “The Bistro of-fers a 3-course meal for only $12, every Thursday starting in the fall. Prepared and served by students, there is always something great on the menu.”

Then there are the restaurants from chefs who made their names with pricier places, but whose spots in and around University City can, if you order right, offer tremendous bang for the proverbial buck. CoZara (3200 Chestnut Street), from Chef Zama Tanaka of Zama fame, offers an excellent selection of lunch-time bento boxes that, while not bargain-basement, boast very good value consid-ering the quality of food you’re getting. The pork katsu, for example, is $13 and includes panko-crusted pork loin with Japanese mustard mayonnaise and a hoisin katsu sauce, as well as miso soup, salad, edamame, house-made pick-les and rice. The Fat Ham (3131 Walnut Street), in addition to their menu of spec-tacular Spraga-fied Southern gems, has a killer “Winged Out Pop Up” event com-ing up next week, Sept. 3–5, with $7-per-half-dozen wings, including grilled with chicharron spice, confit with pepper glaze and hot wings.

Really, that’s what makes collegiate dining so exciting right now: Just because you don’t want to spend a fortune doesn’t mean you can’t eat very, very well. n

Page 15: Philly Weekly 8-26-2015

phillyweekly.com | August 26 - September 2, 2015 | Philly Weekly | 15

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Page 16: Philly Weekly 8-26-2015

16 | Philly Weekly | August 26 - September 2, 2015 | phillyweekly.com

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The streets of Philadelphia will soon be awash in a cavalcade of thousands of nude and near-

nude bodies—many adorned with glitter, body paint and scanty costumes as they cross town en masse, traversing 10 miles on artfully decorated bikes, unicycles, roller skates, their own two feet and any-thing else that’s human-powered. This is the seventh annual Philly Naked Bike Ride, set to commence 3 p.m. Sat., Aug. 29 from an as-yet-undisclosed location. Fully clothed motorists and mass-transit passengers, be aware: You may encoun-ter a road blockage Saturday afternoon. But it’ll be a memorable one.

The Philly Naked Bike Ride isn’t just a hedonistic flash mob, but a ride with a purpose. The event aligns with the mis-sion of the World Naked Bike Ride that encourages participants to “bare as you dare” in promotion of cycling as a green-alternative mode of transport, economic stability and of “a vision of a cleaner, saf-er, body-positive world.”

Creative expression (of a non-sexual kind) is encouraged during the clothing-optional ride to draw attention to the Naked Bike Ride’s message. Artistically adorned bikes are often equipped with boom boxes, bullhorns and musical in-struments, and cyclists freely chant such messages as “Less Gas, More Ass!”

Body painting is a big part of the Na-ked Bike Rides around the world, and Philly riders embrace it enthusiastically. During pre-ride festivities from 12:30-2:30pm at the event’s starting point, Philly artist Matt Deifer and his Body-paint.Me team will provide body-paint-ing services to cyclists for free (optional donations will be accepted). “I love ex-ploring the complexities of painting on a living, breathing canvas and watching

the art come alive,” he says.Deifer has wowed audiences nation-

wide over the past five years with his elaborate body-paint designs at New York City’s Body Painting Day, Glow Gar-den events, Philly’s Night Market, private VIP events, underground raves and much more. This will be Bodypaint.Me’s fourth year at the Philly Naked Bike Ride. In lieu of his usual, more intricate style, Deifer will splatter paint in a Jackson Pollack style on a few people at once. Riders may also do DIY body painting on themselves and their friends to express their own unique styles and messages.

The decoration, Deifer says, helps people of all shapes, sizes and ages find a sense of pride in their bodies; for some, it helps them to feel less naked. “It would be naive to say that everyone shows up un-inhibited and just strips down,” he says. “It takes time for people to get comfort-able in the crowd, and that’s completely normal. The paint helps make it fun… Once you’re undressed and ready in a gi-ant group of naked painted people, it’s a rush, and there’s power in numbers. It’s one of the major reasons we want to in-crease the number of riders every year. The more riders, the more fun it is for the participants.

“It also calls attention to the message,” he adds. “Philly is one of the top cycling cities in the country—we want to be the top Naked Bike Ride city, too! Together we can create change in the world, one body-painted bike rider at a time!” n

For more info about the Philly Naked Bike Ride: phillynakedbikeride.org; For more about Bodypaint.Me: www.funtownproductions.com, www.deifer.com and www.bodypaint.me.

CULTURE Below: Riders decorated by Bodypaint.Me. (Photo: NaterPix)

Flesh MobBody painting flourishes at the annual Philly Naked Bike Ride. By LORENDA KNISEL @Lucid_Lorenda

Page 17: Philly Weekly 8-26-2015

phillyweekly.com | August 26 - September 2, 2015 | Philly Weekly | 17

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APPETIZERVuelve La Vida at DistritoYou know how some Mexican eateries go out of out their way to be all fancy, so much so that they lose their regular-guy appeal? Thank heavens Distrito isn’t that place, even though their recent renovation has certainly tightened up their already formidable hospitality game. Downstairs is now a decidedly more approach-able taqueria, with plates meant for sharing, unless you show up extra hungry. No shame if you are—just be sure to start with

the Vuelve La Vida, a spicy-sweet seafood ceviche filled with chunks of plump shrimp and calamari, that’ll marry well with the teeming Nachos Ignatio, a gargantuan platter of nachos covered in black beans, tomatos, jalapeno, arbol chiles, queso mixto and finely chopped radish. Sure, the guac-bottomed ceviche comes with some plantain rounds, but so few that the tortilla chips underneath the nachos’ pile of toppings will find a welcome home. Enjoy it all with a cucumber margarita or the El Dorado, a savory cocktail blessed with ice-cold Modelo Especial cerveza. Who it’s for: Date-planning co-eds attending Penn and Drexel, Mexican-food freaks, fans of colorful atmospheres and casual eating. Where to get it: Distrito, 3945 Chestnut St. distritorestaurant.com —SHEENA LESTER

SALADBatzarosalata at OpaModern Greek cuisine: That’s clearly what Chef Bobby Saritsoglou’s cooking up at Opa, where his June-introduced menu has been boosted by his skill, flair and passion. In ways both large and small, the restaurant’s revamped bill of small-plates fare sends traditional Greek dishes through a gastronomic time machine, resulting in food that’s as innovative as it is celebratory of old-world conventions. Take their dolmades, for instance: No lemony rice wrapped in oily, pungent grape leaves—Saritsoglou stuffs his with succulent ground beef seasoned with parsley, mint, cinnamon, fenugreek and oth-er spices, then wraps them in grape leaves that are then grilled, importing a smokiness and charring that sets them far apart from the mostly-canned variety. Eat them aside a real showstopper: their batzarosalata, a mouth-watering pile of salt roasted beet cubes sitting atop a creamy, deep-purple puree of beets and feta cheese that’s both a feast for the eyes and the taste buds. Underneath a spoonful of goat cheese and a mi-crogreen sprinkling, the beets lose their earthy funk, becoming a bright, lively punch in the palate. Who it’s for: Vegetarians and veggie enthusiasts, pregnant women, Dwight Kurt Schrute III. Where to get it: Opa, 1311 Sansom St. opaphiladelphia.com —S.L.

BRUNCHCrab Benedict at The Olde Bar If Old City is off your brunch radar, that means your ‘dar needs some retooling. The Olde Bar, typically packed with scene-hungry mixology experts and oyster-lov-ers at night, has some great takes on the cutesy Sunday brunch-lunch hybrid everyone loves to love. Their Crab Benedict has gotta be one of the best I’ve had in many moons: jumbo lump crab over country ham, lobster butter, a perfect poach, all of it covered in Bearnaise sauce. Also delish: the Philly Special, a perfectly-smoked chicken salad mound topped off with frisee and fried oysters. Of course, there’s their famously-legit raw bar for chef’s selection towers, NE chowda and turtle soup, plus fried shrimp and clams. Too fishy? Build a meal of sides with bacon, home-made breakfast sausage or home fries. Who it’s for: Brunch-heads looking to beat the crowds, oyster- and seafood-loving morning folk, sophisticates looking for a bite before a Ritz flick. Where to get it: The Olde Bar, 125 Walnut St. theoldebar.com —BILL CHENEVERT

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Page 18: Philly Weekly 8-26-2015

18 | Philly Weekly | August 26 - September 2, 2015 | phillyweekly.com

FOOD & DRINK | Tweet us your food pics: @phillyweekly

FIVE BEERS ON TAP

GOODByE SummER, HEllO OKTOBERFEST BREwS

1 Samuel Adams Octoberfest. Some beers are more than beers, they’re traditions: annual events that mark the passage of time and signal the start of a new season. One of those beers is Samuel Adams Octo-berfest, a mainstay of the American craft beer scene

that’s partially responsible for popularizing the Marzen style of lager here in the States. This amber beer’s caramel and toast malts are balanced by leafy herbal hops. The soft body leads to a lasting sweet finish. But most important of all, it drinks easy, which is just what you want from a beer intended for autumn celebrations. Sam’s Octoberfest is the signal that summer is on its way out; celebrate the change by grabbing this on draft at Boat House.

2 Sierra Nevada Oktoberfest. Gener-ally speaking, if you want a stellar Oktoberfest beer, you should look for those made by Ger-man brewers. No one does it better – which shouldn’t be surprising, what with them having

invented the style and all. But this year, Sierra Nevada is proving that the Americans can do it, too, and do it well with their new Oktoberfest. It helps that this was brewed in col-laboration with Augsburg’s Brauhaus Riegele, of course. This one leans away from the darker, toffee-laden end of the Marzen spectrum, instead pouring a gorgeous golden color and boasting lightly grassy grains, a gloriously soft texture, and bright, assertive herbal hops. Try some at Capone’s, 320 Market Cafe or The Pour House.

3 weihenstephaner Festbier. Weihenstephaner is touted as the world’s oldest brewery, having gotten their start nearly one thousand years ago. Yes, you read that correctly: They started brewing in 1040 and have been doing it ever since. Their Festbier is a hoppy lager brewed

especially for the autumn season. The aroma suggests the season, too, with hints of grassy fields, hearty breads, and the outdoors. The taste is grainy, with touches of ba-nana and yeast, and the carbonation is smooth as butter. It’s brighter and livelier than many Oktoberfest beers, making it a good one for the final days of summer before the weather cools. Like so many German beers, this is ideal for pairing with food. Match it up with some hearty meats or fresh breads and you’ll be in pub heaven. Enjoy this at 320 Market Cafe in Swarthmore.

4 weißenoher monk’s Fest. Oktoberfest has been a Bavarian tradition since 1810, a September folk festival that celebrates music, food, and of course, beer. No better time to drink something traditional, right? Imported from Germany, this traditional Oktoberfest beer goes by several names, but you’ll find it in the Philly area as Monk’s Fest. It’s an

amber-colored beer with the kind of nutty, caramel-dipped sweetness and faint herbal bitterness you expect from an Oktoberfest. We’ve said it before with beers like this and it’s worth saying again: This is made to be paired with food. It’s currently on draft at Bru Craft & Wurst, so you’ll have no trouble doing exactly that, as they specialize in authentic German Bavarian dishes that are going to pair beautifully.

5 Great lakes Eliot Ness. When it comes to Oktoberfest beers brewed in the U.S., few are better than Eliot Ness, a mainstay of the craft beer scene brewed by Great Lakes. This copper-colored beer is all toast and nuts and sticky caramel, with grassy hops providing perfectly balanced bitterness. The mouthfeel is light and each sip goes

down with remarkable ease, ending with a last kiss of bitterness to clear your palate. In other words, it’s a classic Oktoberfest brew through and through, the kind of beer you’ll want to get by the pitcher as the last days of summer wind down. Swing over to Bru Craft & Wurst or Bourbon & Branch to enjoy this American classic on draft—which, we should add, is the best way to enjoy Oktoberfest beers. That, and with a table full of friends. | ERIC SAN JuAN

Page 19: Philly Weekly 8-26-2015

phillyweekly.com | August 26 - September 2, 2015 | Philly Weekly | 19

THE Top 10 SHowS ARoUND pHILLY THIS wEEK

Thanks for the love, BudMUSIC | Find more musical & performance events this week in our Philly Now section on pages 3–10 | Email: [email protected] | Twitter: @phillyweekly

The pretty Greens

Local acts strengthen the Jay Z-curated line-up at Made in America’s fourth Labor Day-weekend outing. bY bILL CHENEvERT @BillChenevert

1 La Luz + Scully + The pretty Greens Aug. 26 at Underground Arts. Girls rock in general, yes, but these rocking all-girl bands take it to the next level—es-

pecially our own Greens gals. undergroundarts.org

2 Jake Shimabukuro Aug. 27 at Keswick Theatre. Think the ukelele’s only for ironic hipster bands if you like, but this renowned virtuoso’s ingenu-

ity and genius’ll kick that notion to the curb. keswickthe-atre.com

3 Stephcynie + Dynamo + orion Freeman + Mindless Flesh Aug. 27 at The Fire. A melange of spirit-saturated soul, funk-jazz, folk and rock

fill a diverse bill guaranteed to result in new fans for all these dope acts. thefirephilly.com

4 Grandchildren + Spaceship Aloha + white bike Aug. 28 at Johnny Brenda’s. We’ll try really hard not to be offended that Grandchildren’s celebrating

their release of their Zuni LP in NYC before Philly. johnnybrendas.com

5 King Raam + Smoke Season + bigger Than bears Aug. 28 at North Star Bar. The also-solo singer for Iranian punkers Hypernova has the

moniker of a rapper and poetic lyrics that haunt. Go watch his video for “The Vulture.” northstarbar.com

6 Screaming Females + vacation + Radiator Hospital + pinkwash Aug. 29 at Union Transfer. Now, this is how you spend a proper Saturday

night. They already had us with the Females, but all this other excellence just ups the ante. utphilly.com

7 The vaccines + The Lawsuits Aug. 29 at Theatre of Living Arts. The former’s spring-released English Graffiti is too damn short. And it’s no secret how

fly the ‘Suits are, so go and enjoy. tlaphilly.com

8 Lenny Kravitz Aug. 30 at The Mann Center. For goodness sake, uncross your fingers and blow out those prayer candles already: The man’s

pants are not going to split again, okay? manncenter.org

9 Ed Schrader’s Music beat + Colma + Line Leader Aug. 31 at PhilaMOCA. Baltimore’s best export since The Wire, plus the John Murphy-

Abigail Fox musical union and three cool Philly kids on the come-up. philamoca.org

10 Have Gun will Travel + Garrett Klahn Sept. 1 at Ortlieb’s. NPR loves these alt-folk-rock renegades, as do their fellow Floridians.

The ultra-emo former singer-guitarist for Texas Is the Reason opens. ortliebsphilly.com

Dear Budweiser Made In America Festival,I’m gonna give you one more go. Please

don’t make me regret it. Back in 2012, Philly Weekly did its best to sniff out

the Jay Z-curated weekend-long festival on the Park-way, partly because something didn’t smell right. Mostly money matters: Did he see Philly as a cash cow waiting to be milked with the right corporate partnerships grasping the teats? Or was there some-thing truly earnest in a festival that defied genre uni-formity and brought together Philly’s music fans in a way that creatively utilized a public space?

Well, we went that first summer and were pre-dominantly impressed. Set times went off like clock-work, the space felt big enough for the crowd, and, despite the feeling of being trapped all day (no re-entry), exorbitantly-priced vendors seemed like an inevitability worth suffering. Jay, of course, dazzled, closing out the first night with the help of Kanye West, their Watch the Throne album still fresh in our collective pop consciousness. On the second day, a light morning rain cooled the grounds off for a few hours, and Santigold and Jill Scott brought their feminine mystique to save the day.

Your second year had more attendees, and that youthful crowdedness got ratcheted up a notch. They could try to plant themselves for, say, Janelle Monae or Gary Clark Jr., and within the first song or two, they’d be boxed out of some sightlines. I’d nev-er felt older or more disenchanted with the money-making machinery that packs in teens and college kids to stampede around and over others who paid just as much money for tickets as their parents did. Oh, and during Macklemore and Ryan Lewis’ “Same Love” performance, some redneck shouted a “Queer!” slur into the abyss. Good times.

So, I swore M.I.A. off in Year Three. There was no way I could subject myself to what felt like an hourly royal rumble. Plus, to be honest, one of the things that always bothered me was the lack of local head-liners, short of Santi.

This year, though, I’ll be back. ‘Cause while we’re

easily pumped about Beyonce’s return, The Weeknd, Death Cab for Cutie and Banks, it’s the Illadelphians on the bill that make all the difference in 2015’s out-ing: Meek Mill, Creepoid, Hop Along, Waxahatchee, Strand of Oaks, Marian Hill and Ground Up to name a few. There are some auxiliary higher-ups we can’t wait for, either, like Metric, Fabolous and Future, Ac-tion Bronson, Vic Mensa, Earl Sweatshirt and De La Soul among them. So, thank you. And see you out there.

One more thing: Post huge signs of the following on fences, if it’s not too late: Share shade. Drink wa-ter. Don’t take molly. And most of all: Please, for all that’s holy, use garbage cans. n

Sat., Sept. 5-Sun., Sept. 6. $150 for both days. Benjamin Franklin Parkway. madeinamericafest.com

JAZZ

Kamasi Washington

Y ou may not be familiar with him yet, but he is this genera-tion’s premiere saxophonist, a legitimately blessed composer and musician who’s shot to stardom on the heels of his Ken-

drick Lamar collaboration and the release of his three-disc, three-hour The Epic. Songs run up to 15 minutes, and they are flawless cre-ations, every one of them. Among its highlights: “Isabelle” and “The Rhythm Changes” from Part One; “Re Run” and “The Magnificent 7” on Part Two and the last two tracks, “Malcolm’s Theme” and “The Message.” This record, this sound—all of it is so big. Even his band is huge—seriously; 12 were in the studio for The Epic, and he tours with a seven-piece. Come see what all the fuss is about, and witness a man

whose album title is a reflection of his larger-than-life talent. | Thurs., Aug. 27. 7:15pm. $15-$24. With Korey Riker + Darla. World Cafe Live, 3025 Walnut St. 215.222.1400. worldcafelive.com | bILL CHENEvERT

photo by J.R. blackwell

Page 20: Philly Weekly 8-26-2015

20 | Philly Weekly | August 26 - September 2, 2015 | phillyweekly.com

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High-fl ying adventureSCREEN & PAGE | More entertainment: phillyweekly.com

Teen angst and sweeping aerial fi ghts shape a Philly author’s debut fantasy. BY STEPHEN H. SEGAL @StephenHSegal

Imagine a city like Venice—but rather than gondolas quietly gliding down watery canals between blocks of build-

ings, instead, all the merchants, craft workers and nobles must strap on wings to traverse the open sky far above the clouds, soaring like birds between colossal towers made of bone. This is the world of Updraft, the debut science-fantasy novel from Northwest Philly author Fran Wilde. Philly Weekly caught up with Wilde at last week’s World Science Fiction Convention to ask some questions ahead of her Sept. 1 book-release event at Barnes & Noble on Rittenhouse Square.

We o� en use birds taking fl ight as a met-aphor for growing up—”leaving the nest,” “spread your wings”—but Updra� isn’t meta-phorical; it’s the story of a headstrong teen-age girl in a literal sky ci� who must master the winged apparatus that adults in her soci-e� use to navigate the world. Where did the idea for the book come from, and how did it take shape? Updraft began as a short story about a winged knife fi ght in a wind tun-nel. When I unpacked the story, I realized that the world was much bigger and broader than could be crammed into a short story. Both Kirit and her friend Nat came out of that story, and their lives were fascinating to me. And then there were the monsters that hide in the clouds. Once I found them, I couldn’t stop the book from happening.

The ci� in Updra� is glorious, yet im-perfect: People inhabit the ever-rising levels of the ci� ’s dozens of gargan-tuan bone towers, with well-o� locals living in the wide, clean new spaces to-ward the tops and socie� ’s casto� s in the decaying levels below—while the true elites live in a special tower all their own. Do you see anything of Phil-adelphia refl ected in the ci� you’ve imagined here? I can’t say that the city in the clouds is any particular city, but I do think that there’s a growing concern with always having more and better that might characterize many cities I know and love.

The society in Updraft has long associ-ated safety with upward movement, be-cause what’s below is dangerous. But the higher they go, the more infrastructure they need to support the city, and the harder it gets to house and feed everyone. Hmmm—yes, I can see where you might have drawn some comparisons!

Your heroine, Kirit, juggles lots of per-sonal relationships along her quest to fi nd her role in this world, but there’s no cliched young-adult romance in Up-dra� . Is there any literary distinction to be found, do you think, between the

teen-protagonist adventures on Barnes & No-ble’s fantasy & science fi ction

bookshelf and those that live on the YA shelf? Part of the di� erence is of-ten in the depth and layering of emotions, cross-generational relationships, politics, e n v i r o n m e n t — a n d even sometimes in the worldbuilding. The line can be pretty blurred by

the best of both catego-ries: The main character

of Robin Hobb’s Fitz and the Fool series is a child for a fair bit of the time, but the books are shelved in fantasy & science fi ction. Similarly, Hunger Games appeals to adult readers as well, though it’s shelved for young-adult readers.

That said, I love the young-adult genre and feel it’s so varied and rich that cate-gorizing it is nearly as impossible as cat-egorizing adult fantasy and science fi c-tion. So much YA today is pushing back against clichéd relationship stereotypes; there’s so much diversity there now, less “Which boy shall I choose?” plotting. I’m all for readers picking books they like, not just age-based categories.

For Kirit, her focus is on family and friends, future and fear. She becomes ir-revocably intertwined in the future of her city and must make adult choices about her own future within it—and face real consequences for those choices.

Updra� book launch & author signing: Tues., Sept. 1, 7pm. Barnes & Noble, 1805 Walnut St. 215.665.0716. franwilde.net

teen-protagonist

the di� erence is of-ten in the depth and layering of emotions, cross-generational relationships, politics, e n v i r o n m e n t — a n d even sometimes in the worldbuilding. The line can be pretty blurred by

the best of both catego-ries: The main character

of Robin Hobb’s

Page 21: Philly Weekly 8-26-2015

phillyweekly.com | August 26 - September 2, 2015 | Philly Weekly | 21

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SAVAGE LOVE by Dan Savage | Twitter: @FakeDanSavage

Please do a public-service announce-ment about the Ashley Madison hack, and request that NO ONE

look up information on ANYONE other than their own spouse. I’m a former AM user. I’ve been married to my wife for 20 years. We met when we were both 20 years old. Seven years ago, I made a selfish decision to have an affair, and five years ago, my wife found out. She hated me for a while, but we worked things out. I have been faithful since then, and our marriage is better than ever. Since my wife already knows everything, I have no worries about her finding out. But what about every other person I know? It is mortifying to think about my colleagues or my wife’s fam-ily poring through my profile information. I’m going to assume the best—most people have the common decency not to snoop into their neighbors’ bedroom habits—but it would be great if you could ask people to respect oth-er people’s privacy. —Really Enraged Guy Requesting Everyone’s Tactful Silence

I’m happy to back you up, but I don’t share your faith in humanity. Most people are only too delighted to snoop into their neighbors’ bedroom habits—particularly when doing so induces feelings of moral superiority. And I like to think the kind of puritanical busybodies who would go looking for names in the Ashley Madison dump are unlikely to be readers of mine, so they wouldn’t see my Ashley Madison PSA anyway.

But I have to disagree with your sug-gestion that people should look for their spouses’ names in the AM data. If someone in a shitty, high-conflict marriage needs an excuse to get out—because no-fault di-vorce isn’t good enough for them—okay, sure, that person might wanna search for their spouse’s name. But people who are in loving, functional, low-conflict, happy-ish marriages might want to think twice. Find-ing out that your spouse cheated—or fan-tasized about cheating—is impossible to unknow, and it’s something many people can’t get over. Caveat coniunx.

I’m one of those morons who had an Ashley Madison account. But for me, and probably for many others, AM has been a strong an-tidote to the urge to cheat. Spending some time on AM taught me the following: (1) I’m nothing special—there are millions of other men looking for the same thing, and most of them are younger and better-looking. (2) The women on AM are nothing special—the few who even bother chatting with you are often looking for money, and your wife starts looking damn good by comparison. (3) The whole thing is basically a scam to separate horny middle-aged guys from our wallets. And it doesn’t even have the relatively hon-est sleaze of a strip club. —Ashley Madison Mark

There’s no way to tell the difference be-tween an Ashley Madison member who came to his (or her) senses before cheat-ing, like AMM here, and a member who f—ed a dozen other people—or, for that matter, a member who had a good reason for being on the site…

I’m an Ashley Madison user in an open rela-tionship with a bi woman. I can assure you that a large number of AM users are also in open relationships. The hackers made no effort to distinguish between adulterers and people in consensual, honest relationships. They are smearing thousands of people as adulterers who are more honest in their relationships than the average person. —Healthy Open-ness Not Egregious Sexual Trysts

The hackers also made no effort to pro-tect Ashley Madison members living in countries where adultery is punishable by death. Along with all the cheaters, wannabe cheaters and people in honest open rela-tionships, HONEST, the hackers exposed hundreds of people living in Saudi Arabia—some of them gay. Do the people out there saying AM members are getting what they deserve realize that some are going to get their heads cut off?

I am a data-security attorney. One important point that seems to be missed by those cele-brating the Ashley Madison hack is that while cheating is not illegal, unauthorized hacking is. Hacking into someone’s system and ac-cessing data without authorization is consid-ered so morally reprehensible that we have state and federal laws against it. Also, there are state and federal laws that apply to sites like Ashley Madison around properly secur-ing their data and not making promises about security or handling of data (such as whether data is deleted). It will be interesting to see what actions, if any, may be taken against the site. I predict this is just the start of attacks against sex-oriented sites. —Who Is Next?

Almost everyone has posted stuff online anonymously, has privately shared pictures and fantasies, and has a browser history that could screw up their lives. The people celebrating the Ashley Madison hack might have more sympathy for the victims—the fantasizers and the cheaters—if they con-templated their own vulnerability. We are all one malicious hack, one lost cell phone, or one vindictive ex away from the kind of exposure and humiliation and, in some cas-es, the kind of ruin that the AM members are facing today. n

There’s more Savage Love!Read more at ph.ly/savage

Ask a question: [email protected]

About Ashley Madison...

Page 22: Philly Weekly 8-26-2015

22 | Philly Weekly | August 26 - September 2, 2015 | phillyweekly.com

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phillyweekly.com | August 26 - September 2, 2015 | Philly Weekly | 23

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Frankford & Lehigh.Open House Sunday

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3BR, 1 1/2 Bth, C/A, Compl.fin. bsmt w/frt entr. Entirehouse redone. h/w cherry flrSale $300,000 or Rent for$1350+util215-740-0182.

legal/notices

Miscelleneous

EQUAL HOUSING OPPORTUNITY All real estate advertised in this newspaper is subject to federal, state and localfair housing laws, which makes it illegal to advertise any preference, limitation, or discriminationbased on race; color; religion;sex; disability; familial; (presence of children);national origin; age (Pennsylvania and New Jersey); martial status or sexual orientation(Pennsylvania and New Jersey), or source of Income (Philadelphia only) in the sale, rentalor financing or insuring of housing. This paper will not knowingly accept any advertisingfor real estate which violates these laws. The law requires that all dwellings advertised beavailable on an equal opportunity basis. If you believe you have been discriminated againstin connection with the sale, rent, financing or insuring of housing or commercial property,call HUD at 1-888-799-2085

vacation rentals

two bedrooMs

studio/efficiency

houses for rent

apts. for rent

land for sale

phillyweekly.com/real-estate/open-house/

DEADLINES: Display ads - Fridays @ 10 a.m. | Line ads - Mondays @ 4:30 p.m.

opEN houSESCALL 215.563.1234

Sunday, auguSt 30th

12:00 to 1:00PM

308 Lombard StreetSociety Hill$845,000

308 Pemberton StreetQueen Village$385,000

327 Pemberton StreetQueen Village$499,950

12:00 to 1:30 PM

604-36 S. Washington SquareHopkinson House$629,000

700 Rodman StWashington Square West$449.900

1:00 to 2:00PM

413 S. 12th StreetWashington Square$668,000

1:30 to 2:30 PM

115 Catharine StreetQueen Village$939,000

428 Catharine StreetQueen Village$464,900

3:00 to 4:00 PM

310 S 2nd StSociety Hill$1,250,000

one bedrooM

To place your line ad call:215-354-3054

real estate for sale

Page 24: Philly Weekly 8-26-2015

24 | Philly Weekly | August 26 - September 2, 2015 | phillyweekly.com

Do you have real estate to advertise?Contact jay@phillyweekly for more information.

PRIZES INCLUDE:$1,000 | Studio Time | The opportunity to perform live

on one of Philly’s best venues

Sonsored by

215-925-RENTmichaelsingerrealestate.com

1117 Spruce St

Real Estate

ichaelinger

Over 50 years in the real estate business

1117 Spruce St

SATURDAY APPOINTMENTS AVAILABLE

from 12:30-4:30pmPlease call to arrange a viewing

RITTENHOUSE SQUAREFITLER SQUARE

THE CHATHAM: WALNUT & 20TH – *ASK ABOUT OUR MANAGERS SPECIALSpacious Studios & One bedrooms in High Rise Doorman bldg w/Magnificent Western & Southern exposure, View of Rittenhouse Square, HW Floors, Laundry on site, Professionally Managed.AVAILABLE OCTOBER! ALL UTILITIES INCLUDED! FROM $1,375 to $1585

PINE & 23rd – Beautiful One Bedroom Plus den, HW floors, Walk-in closet, Laundry in building, Across the street from Fitler Square Park, AVAIL NOW! HEAT & HOT WATER INCL! $1,585

RODMAN & 16th – Contemporary 2 bed Trinity Townhome, HW floors, C/A, Yard and Basement, Dog Friendly,AVAIL SEPTEMBER! $1,685

CHRISTIAN & 22nd – Spacious Three Bed Townhome, H/W Floors, Yard and Basement, W/D, Dog Friendly, AVAIL SEPTEMBER! $2,550

UNIVERSITY CITYBRANDYWINE & 39th – Contemporary 2 bedroom townhome, h/w floors, carpeting upstairs, private yard, Basement, w&d, c/a, lots of storage space, AVAILABLE NOW! $1,185

SOCIETY HILL WASHINGTON SQUARE

WESTMIDTOWN VILLAGECLINTON PLACE – 11th & PINE Spacious One Bedroom next to Kahn Park, H/W Floors, Ample Closet Space, Laundry on Premise, AVAILABLE SEPTEMBER! HEAT/HOT WATER INCLUDED! $1,255

THE IMPERIAL – BROAD & SPRUCE Studios in Hi-rise Elevator Building, Great Location, Hardwood Floors, A/C, Full Kitchens, Laundry on Premise, AVAIL. SEPTEMBER! GAS INCLUDED! $825

LOMBARD & 12th – Two Bedroom with lots of natural light, H/W Floors, Central Air, Private Patio off Bedroom, Laundry on Premise, Storage Unit Provided, AVAIL. SEPTEMBER! $1,765

Independently owned and operated member of the Prudential Real Estate Affiliates, Inc. Visit our website for our complete inventory, weekly open houses, additional pictures and more particulars.

215.627.6005

Deidre Quinn Ivon Cowell Jeff Kauffman Lee Ann Hartley

215.440.8190 w w w . c o n w a y t e a m . c o m

Adele Gerngross

Society Hill Office 530 W a ln ut St. Sui te # 26 0 Phi la de lp hia, P A 19 10 6

Mike Carestio

T h e A w a r d W i n n i n g K a t h y , P a t r i c k a n d t h e C o n w a y T e a m

Patrick Kathy 215-440-8172 215-440-8190

L’EAU Jay-Z & Beyonce Development 24 Condos

2/2 Parking TA From $399,000

128 Pemberton St Multi 5/4 + Deck

& Garden $649,900

9 0 % o f o u r b u s i n e s s c o m e s f r o m f r i e n d s t e l l i n g f r i e n d s !

335 Christian 4 /3.5 2 Car Parking

RED $549,900

Rosa Court—Garage 3 /2 From $549,000

September 2009

www.conwayteam.com

2107 Bainbridge Incredible 3 + media/2.5

Deck & Garden $749,000

502 Delancey 4+Off/3 F & 2 1/2 BA + Deck 3 Car

Prng $1,350,000

125 Ellsworth—Phase III Pennspoint 3 to 4 + den /2.5 Gar TA From $499,000

825 S. 2nd St Duplex Great Corner

Property RED $379,000

3 SOLD

New Deve

lopm

ent

Tory Gargano

1 Christian St #22 3/2 Deck +

+ Parking RED $499,000

753-757 S. Marshall St Between 6th & 7th off of

Fitzwater 3 Lots $350,000

2338 Fitzwater A& C Condos 1/1 TA From $229,000

119-123 Federal N/C 7 Homes, 3 /2.5, H/W, Bsmt + Gar & TA

From $509,000

Duplex

Here Comes The Sun! Finally a real recovery in the sluggish market.

Since June we have Sold over 35 homes and listed 33. Once again in The Prudential Real Estate Affiliates for 2009 our team has consistently Ranked in the top 3 for all four

quarters out of 68,000 Agents. Thank you sincerely for your Business.

127 Monroe Fab upscale Builder’s Hm

2+ Den/2 Garden RED

Great Rental 3rd & Bainbridge - Live & work from home in this fabulous space. 2 bedrooms +den,1.5 Baths,

hardwood floors, Deck + Gallery space on 1st Fl. $3000 427 Queen St- Beautiful 3 story, 2 bedroom, 1 bath trinity, H/W, EIK & garden. $1400 225 Catharine St - Beautiful 3 BR + Den, 4 BA, H/W, Granite ktchn, grdn & 2 car parking. $3500

776 S. 2nd St - Very nice 2 Bedroom, 1 Bath Bi level apartment w/ CA + Lg Deck. $1350 810 S. 3rd St –Beautiful large 3 BR + Den home with hardwood floors t/o, yard + parking. $2500 1119 E. Palmer St –N/C 3 BR + Media Rm, 3 BA, H/W t/o, Fp, Lg Garden + 3 car parking. $2500 400 Spring Garden-N.C Commercial Space Available-800 to 1600 Sq Ft. Call for Details

623 S 6th 3 Condos 1/1 + Deck, TA

From $299,000 1 SOLD

New Constru

ction

New

Lis

tin

gs

Artisan Rittenhouse 1805 Lombard

(10 Homes)

4000 + Sq Ft 4/3.5 Elevator Deck 2 Car

Garage & TA $2,500,000

2 Left

5 SOLD

1923-1925-2021-2023 Parrish N/C 3 to 4 BR TA From $469,000

1 Christian #49 3/2.5 Garden + 1 car

Pkng $499,500

133 Salter Street Fab. N/C 3550 Sq Ft 3 + Den/4.5 3 BalconiesDeck Garden +

Garage TA $979,000

534 Queen Beautiful 3 + Den/2.5 H/W & Garden $499,000

Artisan 1501-1503 Kater

5600 Sq Ft 4/3.5 Elevator Roof Deck TA

2 Car Garage $2,500,000

245 Monroe Street Great Floor plan 4/2.5,Deck Grdn & Grg. RED $795,000

600-02 N American N/C 3/2.5, Bsmt Garden,

Garage, & TA

From $650,000

New Constru

ction

2 SOLD

714-22 Bainbridge St -13 Condos with Garage Parking - 2/2- Gardens & Decks. FROM $379,900

810 S. 2nd St “A” 1000 sq. ft2/1 Prkng, Tx Abmt , lg grdn. $399,900

123-25 Monroe St Best N/C .3 + Den/4.5 2 car

garage, TA $1,599,000

246 Catharine St Beautiful Home. 3/2.5 2 Fp’s

+ lg garden $650,000

1118 E. Moyamensing 4/2.5, patio,deck & finished

basement $369,000

1 Christian #40 Condo Courtyard Home. 2/2.5 Deck

Garage $369,900

318 Fitzwater Street “The Dragon House”

4 + office/2.5 Garden & Garage. Lot size 19x136 $1,250,000

221 Carpenter St 3/2 & beautiful Garden

$435.000

Artisan II 1431 Bainbridge

(8 Homes) 4000 + Sq Ft 4/3.5

Elevator Deck 2 Car Garage & TA

$2,000,000

Reduced

Reduced 1107-1121 N. Howard 1101-1115 N. Hancock

1102-1134 N Hope Zoned and Approved for

16 Town homes + 2 stacked Duplexes

20 off Street Spaces in gated Community

$1,975,000

THE WONDEFUL ARTISAN DEVELOPMENTS Have you ever had a dream about owning your own

Deeded Queen Village Park-ing Space? WELL SOME-TIMES DREAMS COME TRUE. We have 7 deeded spots available in a secured

Queen Village Location. $67,500.00

HURRY 2 ALREADY SOLD

118 Catharine St Award Wining,3500 sq. ft,

grdn & grg. $1,300,000

Patrick Conway 215-266-1537

[email protected]

Kathy Conway 215-440-8190

[email protected]

Society Hill Offi ce • 215.627.6005 • Please visit us online at www.conwayteam.com

137 N. Croskey Street

MODE 7 by Masada Custom Builders Live Your Dream in this Special European Infl uenced 5500 Sq Ft Home - 2 Car

Parking, Elevator from Floor to Roof, 5 Bedrooms, 4 Full Spa Baths, 2 Powder Rooms, Chef’s Dream Kitchen, Fireplace, 2nd Kitchen, 2 Decks & Garden & Tax Abatement.

Semi Private Quiet Cul De Sac Street between 22nd & 23rd & Race.

Reduced $939,000TwilighT Open

hOuse Thursday August 27th

5:30 to 7:00 pm

sundAy Open hOuse

August 30th1:30 to 2:30 pm

Pristine - move right in, 3500 sq. ft, 18X68 with garage,

hrdwd flrs t/o, 2 fp’s, 4 bedrooms + den, huge Chef’s Kitchen, 2.5 spa baths, tons of storage and closet space + a garden and in

the Meredith Catchment.

115 Catharine StreetQueen Village

215-850-3842

Page 25: Philly Weekly 8-26-2015

phillyweekly.com | August 26 - September 2, 2015 | Philly Weekly | 25

AWARDED BERKSHIRE HATHAWAY’S #1 TEAM IN THE USA!

W W W . M C C A N N T E A M . C O MTHINKING OF SELLING? CALL 215.778.0901THINKING OF BUYING? CALL 215.440.8345

Offi ce215.627.6005

Direct215.440.8345

SOCIETY HILL $2,062,750Stately and immaculate 3-4 bed, 4.5 bath newly renovated Society Hill home located on one of the fi nest tree lined blocks in Philadelphia. This elegant home features gorgeous detailed mold-ings, grand ceilings, tremendous light and plenty of living space for all your needs. Grand circular staircase leads up to the 2nd level! Do not miss your chance to own a piece of history! Come to our Open House on Sunday 8/30 !

ART MUSEUM AREA $575,000This stunning condo has 2BD/2BA and a den. It fl oats in the sky with million dollar views of the Barnes Museum, Parkway and Center City skyline. You’ll enjoy luxury living with over 100 feet of cov-eted west- and south-facing windows that provide fantastic light. CityView has a 24hr doorman and condo fees include: elevator, water, sewer, mainte-nance, hallway lighting and cleaning, trash, 24hr gym and pool.

SOCIETY HILL $2,100,000Pristine and immaculate 6BD/5.5BA Society Hill masterpiece built in 1837 and designed by Thom-as U. Walter, founding member of the American Institute of Architects, now completely restored from top to bottom in all its historic glory. Features range from beautiful wood fl oorings to a unique, custom wood and steel circular stairway, 6 zoned HVAC, tremendous light from all three exposures, an elevator and all-new kitchen, bathrooms and mechanicals.

BELLA VISTA $375,000Impeccably maintained 2BD/1.5BA home on a beautiful, low traffi c, tree-lined block in a prime location! Foyer entrance with hardwood fl ooring leads into the living room with beautiful hard-wood fl oor, wood fi replace with mantle and slid-ing doors out to a charming yard with planters. The beautifully redone eat-in kitchen has granite countertops and stainless steel appliances. See this wonderful Bella Vista Home today!

GRADUATE HOSPITAL $524,900This extra wide home has it all, over 2400 square feet not including the fi nished basement, approxi-mately 4 years left on a 10 year tax abatement, 4 huge bedrooms, 2 and 1/2 designer bathrooms, closets galore, a sumptuous kitchen, deck, spa-cious paved rear patio, 2 zone HVAC and more. There is also an outside entrance to an expansive rear yard, all tastefully complete with stamped concrete. Make this home yours today!

RITTENHOUSE SQUARE $1,795,000On one of the fi nest locks in all of Center City, discover this once in a lifetime opportunity to own a grand 5BD/3.5BA historic home. The exquisite elegance and handsome details of this property are amazing with soaring ceilings, light hardwood fl oors with oak trim, crown moldings and wain-scoting, original grand staircase and several or-nate marble fi replace mantels. Come to our Open House on Sunday 8/30 !

Check out our video to get to know Mike & his

team- you can fi nd it atwww.mccannteam.com!

Mike McCann, “The Real Estate Man”& The McCann Team are offi cially

#1 IN THE NATION!We are proud of our 620 closed transactions!

Thank you to our loyal customers and our cooperating real estate peers!

Contact Us Today! Email [email protected]

September 16th

Annual Fall GuideWHAT TO DO IN & AROUND THE CITY

Page 26: Philly Weekly 8-26-2015

26 | Philly Weekly | August 26 - September 2, 2015 | phillyweekly.com

NEW PRICEART MUSEUM AREAONE BEDROOM CONDOIN AN ART DECO BUILDING$209,800

SOUTH STREETTOWNHOUSE WITH CONTEMPORARYCONSTRUCTIONBALCONY AND CENTRAL AIR$497,500

OLD KENSINGTONTWO PROFESSIONALLY DESIGNED CONDOSIN GATED COMMUNITYFROM $324,900

NEW LISTINGFRANCISVILLETWO STUNNING NEWCONSTRUCTION CONDOSWITH 10 YEAR TAX ABATEMENT, 3 BEDROOMS, 3 BATHSFROM $349,000 [email protected]

SOUTH STREETCOMMERCIALOPPORTUNITYRETAIL SPACE AND TWO 2 BEDROOM APARTMENTS$899,000

BELLA VISTANEW CONSTRUCTION LUXURY TOWNHOUSEWITH ROOF DECK AND 1 CAR GARAGE3 BEDROOMS, 4 BATHS$585,000

Search all Center City Properties at: www.PlumerRE.com 226 South Street    215 922 4200

For over 90 years the most respected name in Philadelphia Real Estate Center City’s Largest Independent Realtor

& Associates, Inc.Realtors

700 RODMAN STWASHINGTON SQ WESTOPEN SUNDAY 8/30, 12-1:30 PMBright corner 4br, 2b, upgraded kitchen & baths, f/p, patio, park-ing

$449,900Call Jeff Mayer

310 GASKILL STSOCIETY HILLBeautifully redesigned c1817 home with 3br, 3b, patio/garden, roof deck with skyline view, new price!

$819,900Call Karen Joslin

604-36 S WASHINGTON SQ #2603HOPKINSON HOUSEOPEN SUNDAY 8/30, 12-1:30 PMThe fi nishes, the views…stunning! Corner 2br, 1.5b, completely renovated, balcony, parking available, new price$629,000Call Michele Golembeski

1433-39 FEDERAL ST & 1153-61 S 15TH STDEVELOPMENT OPPORTUNITY!9 property parcel, zoned CMX2, +/-16,000sf, 2 street access

$2,600,000Call MicheleGolembeski

113-121 BAINBRIDGE STQUEEN VILLAGEGrand spacious home on several parcels of land, beautiful detail throughout, gated garden with private ter-races, 3-4 car garage. Ideal for entertaining

$2,400,000Call Izzy Sigman

739 BAINBRIDGE STBELLA VISTA STRADAFabulous new construc-tion, 4br, 4b, +/-3500sf, gourmet kitchen, Smart House Technology, patio, roof deck,Garage, tax abatement $1,349,900Call Jody Volpe

310 S 2ND STSOCIETY HILLOPEN SUNDAY 8/30, 3-4 PM18th century home with dramatic contemporary interior & palatial garden, +/- 4,062 sf, 4br, 2.5b, roof deck with view$1,250,000Call Karen Joslin orJan Stephano

424 MCCLELLAN STPENNSPORTBeautiful 3br, 1.5b, h/w fl rs, c/a, fi nished basement

$235,000Call Donna Russella

Page 27: Philly Weekly 8-26-2015

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Page 28: Philly Weekly 8-26-2015

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Yo, Philly...Ben & Jerry’s makes your event delicious

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