returningtochina: - isi returnees to china...challenges.theinsights,practicaladvice,andstories...
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Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996, 2004, 2007 by Tyndale House Foundation. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved.
THE HOLY BIBLE, NEW INTERNATIONAL VERSION®, NIV®
by permission. All rights reserved worldwide. Scripture taken from the NEW AMERICAN STANDARD BIBLE®, Copyright © 1960, 1962, 1963, 1968, 1971, 1972, 1973, 1975, 1977, 1955 by The Lockman Foundation. Used by permission. Scripture taken from the New King James Version. Copyright © 1982 by Thomas Nelson, Inc. Used by permission. All rights reserved.
Returning to China: Keys to Successful Reentry for Believers Copyright © 2012; by International Students, Inc. International Standard Book number: 978-‐0-‐9853280-‐1-‐6
All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted, in any form or by any means electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise without prior written permission.
International Students, Inc. PO Box C, Colorado Springs, CO 80901 Phone: (719) 576-‐2700 www.internationalstudents.org www.isireturnees.org
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Table of Contents Introduction .................................................................................... 8 Overview ......................................................................................... 11 Definitions ...................................................................................... 11 Personal Challenges ................................................................... 12 Cultural Challenges ..................................................................... 34 A Comparison Between Western and Non-‐Western Cultural Values ............................................................................. 36 Career Challenges........................................................................ 42 Marriage Challenges ................................................................... 54 Family Challenges ....................................................................... 64 Faith Challenges ........................................................................... 74 In Conclusion ............................................................................. 127 Resources .................................................................................... 131
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Dear Returnee Student, First, I want to congratulate you on your accomplish-‐ment as an international student. It takes courage, perseverance, and a lot of hard work to adjust to another culture and achieve what you have achieved. As a previous international student myself, I know it has been a lonely and tough road at times, but you have succeeded. Well done! Your time as a student or scholar overseas has forever changed the way you see yourself, others, and the world around you. These experiences have given you a greater understanding of other cultures, and a larger capacity to relate to people from other parts of the world. But now you are returning home, back to the familiar faces, places, smells and sounds of your home culture. The adventure of leaving your culture to study abroad is over. The excitement of returning home is here. No doubt many questions are going through your mind. What will it be like when I get back home? What are my family and friends up to? What new opportunities will I encounter? What new challenges will I face? And of course, there is the deep desire to make a difference with the new knowledge and skills you have gained, a desire to make your environment, your country, the world, a better place to live. Returning home represents a new chapter in your life. There will be happy moments, as well as unexpected challenges. The insights, practical advice, and stories shared by other returnee students throughout the pages of this booklet are offered as a resource for you in your own re-‐entry process. I hope you find these reflections
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and suggestions both helpful and encouraging. May you experience a life full of peace, purpose, and destiny. Sincerely, Dr. Douglas Shaw President/CEO International Students, Inc.
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Introduction Studying abroad provides international students and scholars the opportunity to expand their education and develop cross-‐cultural skills with the hope for greater career advancement and influence as they return home to China. The reality is that when students return to their home country, things aren t always what they expected.
clients, said Bao Yu, a returnee from Mongolia. Mai, another returnee from Hunan Province, said, I thought having studied abroad would give me an advantage and make it easier to find a job. Song, a returnee from Shanghai, said, This was the biggest adjustment. I could never have expected that my new position would be so
Still other students found jealousy from peers and supervisors, increased pressures from parents and family, and changes in their own thinking which caused confusion and depression. Depending on how long they lived overseas, students such as Bao Yu, Mai, and Song have discovered that their worldview has changed and expanded. They have acquired some new views and question some previously held views. The changes within them, as well as the changes that have taken place in their home countries while they were away, presented unexpected challenges when they returned. In addition, because many students grew accustomed to having more personal space and freedom while living abroad, they
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Emotio
nal State
Adventure
Avoidance
Adjustment
Acceptance
arrive home
found themselves frustrated by the expectations of family and friends. Many students are surprised to find that reverse culture shock (re-‐adapting to their culture back home) is more difficult or challenging than the culture shock experienced when they arrived in their host country.
Reverse Culture Shock Diagram Normal
Range
Time When students who return to their home countries (returnees) address these challenges and know how to respond to them ahead of time, it makes the re-‐entry process much more successful and pleasant. This document was written to provide returnees with insights and practical suggestions for successful re-‐entry into their home culture by offering new perspectives and new approaches on their different challenges.
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Many of the questions and recommendations offered here were provided by previous returnees who have successfully conquered their re-‐entry challenges and have re-‐integrated into the Chinese culture.
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Overview The experience of living and studying abroad has changed the returnee s life in many ways. In this document we will focus on some of the important challenges returnees face in the following dimensions of their lives:
personal challenges cultural challenges career challenges marriage challenges family challenges faith challenges
Definitions Home country/culture: the country or culture of a student s origin.
Host country/culture: the foreign country or culture where a student studies.
Re-‐entry: the process of returning and adapting once again to the home culture.
Returnee: a student who has studied in a foreign country and is returning to his or her country of origin.
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Personal Challenges When Keung, a student from Beijing, returned to his home he was not prepared for how the difference in the amount of people affected him. After I came back I got in an extremely big traffic jam. In the U.S., there were traffic jams sometimes, but not so terrible. When you walk on the streets, you don t know anyone. In [the city where he lived in the U.S.] you have more chances to
[In Beijing] it s very hard to make new friends. Another returnee, Chu-‐hua, was surprised also by the pace of life in Shanghai. She explained, When I first got to Shanghai, it was very scary to go across the road with the stroller There is always construction work on the sidewalk or sometime some cars parked on the sidewalk, and I felt it was crazy! ...They use baby strollers a lot [in the city where she lived in the U.S.] but not in Shanghai. So it was hard to walk outside with strollerssupermarket you can feel many people are very impatient to you. Jia-‐li, a returnee from Taipei, found it difficult to move in with her family again. She had her own personal space for two years in the U.S. Her main reason for moving back with her parents was to save money. She lost her own personal space because she had to stay in the same room as her sisters. She found that they thought of her as simply one of the unit, they could do anything without asking her first. Returnees like Keung, Chu-‐hua, and Jia-‐li experienced personal challenges common to many returnees. These
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challenges mostly affect returnees personally but do not necessarily affect others (at least not directly). They include issues such as how to share their overseas experiences with others, or how to deal with others expectations when they return home, and how to deal with the feelings of being out of place in their home culture. Following are some key issues which returnees have identified and suggestions provided by other returnees as well as experts in cross-‐cultural situations:
How can I effectively share my overseas experience with my family, friends, and work colleagues?
What has been found to work well is to share when they show interest. It s important not to overwhelm friends, coworkers and family members by giving them too much information. Just share a little at a time. Be sure not to compare your overseas experiences with the same in your home culture, and don t criticize things at home. You don t want to offend people or cause them to feel defensive. Try to be balanced about things you share; tell about positive experiences as well as difficult ones.
How can I minimize the experience of reverse culture shock as I return to my home country?
Staying in contact with friends and family back home while you are overseas by phone, email, Skype, etc. can be helpful in minimizing reverse culture shock when you return home. Following the news, changes and important events taking place in your country while you re gone through reading or watching news programs available via the Internet can also be very
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helpful. In addition, it is important to know what the cycle and symptoms of reverse culture shock look like (see diagram on page 8). Understanding this is an important part of successfully working through reverse culture shock. Regularly evaluate yourself after returning home to check for signs or symptoms of reverse culture shock. Some returnees have found that writing in a journal is a good way to express their feelings and see themselves progress through the different stages of reentry.
What can I do to effectively readjust to my culture back home?
Make efforts to get reacquainted with family and friends. Relationships are the most important dimension of any cultural adjustment. Consider how your philosophy and outlook on life has changed and how this new perspective needs to integrate (fit in) with your home culture. Don t be in a hurry. Readjusting takes time; be patient with the process. If possible, stay connected with the friends you made back in your host country. These relationships can help provide stability during your re-‐entry process.
How do I deal with the problem of comparing my home culture with my host culture?
Remember first of all that all cultures are different with both positive and negative characteristics in each. It is helpful to be able to appreciate your host culture without comparing it to your home culture. It is also important to evaluate and adjust your expectations of your home culture. Focus on the positives of your culture, not the negatives. You may see things that you could do to improve your culture or situation back
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home, but look for positive ways to improve these areas. Zhang Yimou, a returnee,
see what is wrong. But if you think everything is wrong,
nd you become angrier and
ou should put more energy to do good for your count
in my home culture?
Keep in mind that your worldview has expanded to include values from your home culture as well as values from your host culture. It s normal to feel different or out of place, but recognize that you are now a trans-‐
(home
(a blend of both cultures). You are uniquely equipped to understand and form bridges or links between people of different cultures (businesses, corporations, etc.). Try to identify the changes that have taken place in your values and worldview. Identify ways your new perspectives can positively contribute to people and situations in your home culture. Celebrate the positive changes; be aware of the negative changes.
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How do I deal with feelings of being marginalized by my family and friends? They say I m not like them anymore.
Dewei, a returnee, described how things may lead up to your feenvironment and amenities are also different. [Returnee] students might even find that the same home that they have lived for years all of sudden became unlivable. Room temperature is swinging up and down. Hot water is not immediately available or shower is too cold in winter time, etc. Please remember, your body also needs time, and it will adjust
those things to your parents. They might not feel what your body feels. Instead, they will interpret as a sign
Feelings of being different, after being away for some time, are normal. Remember, you have changed and so have your family and friends but not in the same way. So expect to have different perspectives, and seek to learn from each other. Identify situations and relationships where you can be a bridge-‐builder between different viewpoints or cultures. Reach out to and befriend other foreigners (trans-‐cultural people) in your home country or wherever you go. But most importantly, recognize that you have the wonderful opportunity to be a messenger (ambassador)
way and truth to those who do not yet know Him.
become a new person. The old life is gone; a new life has
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begun! And all of this is a gift from God, who brought us back to Himself through Christ. And God has given us this task of reconciling people to Him. For God was in Christ, reconciling the world to Himself, no longer counting people's sins against them. And He gave us this wonderful message of reconciliation. So we are Christ's ambassadors; God is making His appeal through us. We
2 Corinthians 5:17-‐20 [NLT].
How do I cope with the busy or demanding pace of life and work back home (especially in big cities)?
Prioritize. Invest in your relationships by making time for them. Look for ways that you can manage your time better. As much as possible, include rest and exercise in your schedule.
How do I balance my priorities in life?
First, identify or clarify what your priorities or goals are. Next, decide which priorities are higher and which are lower in importance. Identify goals for each area of priority. Then, decide what action steps you will take to achieve your goals. Finally, do regular reviews of your progress toward achieving your goals and make appropriate changes.
How do I deal with the sense of loss of identity or role in society?
Keep in mind this often happens to people who leave their home culture for an extended time. Think about the ways you have changed or grown (both positive and negative). Then, look for ways or places where your experience can make a positive contribution now.
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How do I deal with the sense of loss of personal freedom and autonomy?
This often happens when you go from an individualistic society (Western culture) to a more collectivistic society (Eastern culture). Once you recognize that this sense of loss is normal, look for a solution by trying to find a place and time when you can consistently have time alone to reflect and plan. Identify the strengths of both the collectivistic as well as the individualistic models of society. Explore ways you can impact and improve people s lives in and through the context or environment of community.
How do I deal with others expectations of me?
Try to identify and understand what those expectations are and where they are coming from. (If possible, have a conversation with the individual to clarify what their expectations are). Recognize which expectations are legitimate, and if there is a way(s) you can reasonably meet those expectations. If you cannot, think of ways you could respectfully communicate that you are not able to meet that person s expectations.
How can I use my experiences to help other students who are returning to China?
You are in a unique situation to be able to help other students who are returning to China, with the re-‐entry challenges they are facing, or will face.
First, identify the challenges you experienced in your own re-‐entry process, and how you got through those challenges (what worked and what didn t work).
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Find out what your returnee friends needs are and how you can be of help or assistance as they go through their re-‐entry adjustment process.
Share with them the adjustments you went through and what you learned through the process (what worked for you and what didn t work).
Help connect them with other returnees who can provide encouragement, understanding, and input as they go through their re-‐entry adjustments.
Direct them to resources that were helpful to you in your re-‐entry process.
Returnees who have become believers while abroad have unique challenges when returning to their home countries, especially if they are not free to openly worship or share their beliefs. Tu, a PhD student, was surprised to see how much she would miss Christian fellowship. I didn t realize how much I needed church, she explained. I just think if I read the Bible daily, that is enough. For quite some time I just felt I was so far away from God, and I felt I had my own problems. Many Christian returnees deal with challenges to their faith when they leave the support of other believers. Following are questions some face and suggestions for dealing with these challenges.
What does the Bible say about finding and following God s purpose for my life?
There are many verses in the Bible that speak to God s purpose for our lives. Some of these follow:
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Listen to me, you islands; hear this, you distant nations: Before I was born the LORD called me; from my birth he has made mention of my name, Isaiah 49:1 [NIV]. I knew you before I formed you in your mother s womb. Before you were born I set you apart and appointed you as my prophet to the nations, Jeremiah 1:5 [NLT]. But when God, who set me apart from birth and called me by his grace, was pleased, Galatians 1:15 [NIV]. This is good and acceptable in the sight of God our Savior, who desires all men to be saved and to come to the knowledge of the truth, 1 Timothy 2:3-‐4 [NASB]. A great Christian leader, Dr. Billy Graham, has often been asked this question about God s purpose in our lives. His answer: we aren t here by accident; we re here because God
put us here. And He put us here for a reason so we could come to know Him in a personal way, and then live the way He wants us to live. This is the greatest discovery you will ever make: You were created to know God, and to be His friend forever. As a young boy, my mother taught me these words from our church s statement of belief: Man s chief end (or purpose) is to glorify God and enjoy Him forever. I ve never forgotten this. God not only has a general purpose for each of us, but He also has a specific plan for each of our lives. God knows all about you, and He has a plan for you. That s
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why you can pray and seek God s will when you face decisions, and it is why you can know God is with you every moment of the day. The Bible says, Teach me your way, O Lord; lead me in a straight path, Psalm 27:11[NIV].1
What does the Bible say about finding my mission in life?
If by mission, you mean your occupation, then God has given you the freedom to choose. This does not mean that He doesn t care what you do, but that He allows you to take those desires of your heart and decide how to use your strengths and abilities. Use this time of decision-‐making to pray and ask God for wisdom and guidance. And remember, sometimes the things we choose to do, end up being for a certain time, and then God may have other plans for us, with other occupations. For I know the plans I have for you, says the LORD. They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope, Jeremiah 29:11 [NLT]. In his heart a man plans his course, but the LORD determines his steps, [NIV].
Proverbs 20:24 [NLT].
1From http://www.billygraham.org/articlepage.asp?articleid=3732, February 5, 2012.
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What does the Bible say about dealing with temptation (because of my own weaknesses or pressure from others) such as financial dishonesty, social drinking, and sexual immorality?
The Bible is very clear about avoiding sin, the appearance of sin, and places where one may be tempted to sin. In Exodus 20:1-‐17 we find the
basic rules God gave us about how we are to live our lives. In this way, we can know the things that are right and wrong, and the things that please God. Now we can understand the importance of doing the things He commands us to do, not only because sin displeases God but also because there are consequences for those sins Remember, however, that God knows we struggle, and if we call on Him, He can help us out of
[God] don t let us yield to temptation, but rescue us from the evil one, Matthew 6:13 [NLT]. Keep watching and praying that you may not enter into temptation; the spirit is willing, but the flesh [body] is weak [NASB].
that you will not fall into temptation, Luke 22:40 [NIV].
temptations in your life are no different from what others experience. And God is faithful. He will not allow the temptation to be more than you can stand. When you are tempted, He will show you a way out so that you can endure, 1 Corinthians 10:13 [NLT]. Temptations are particularly difficult when they involve other people, especially those who are not believers
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whom we may respect or care deeply about. If our interest in these people gets between us and our relationship with God, we might want to reconsider how much time we spend with such people.
the wicked, or stand around with sinners, or join in with mockers, Psalm 1:1 [NLT]. He who walks with the wise grows wise, but a companion of fools suffers harm, Proverbs 13:20 [NIV]. As for social drinking, there are varying opinions on this even in the Christian church. Some believe in staying away from all alcoholic beverages. Some believe that drinking in moderation is acceptable. The Bible clearly states that getting drunk leads to destructive behavior and, therefore, is sin t be drunk with wine, because that will ruin your life. Instead, be filled with the Holy Spirit, Ephesians 5:18 [NLT]. Search your own heart in this matter and pray about it. Alcohol abuse is a problem for many people, so much so that they often cannot even admit that they have a problem with it. If you think that this could be you, then the best thing to do is to abstain from drinking alcohol. If you cannot, then seek help from a spiritual leader and your doctor. Above all remember, there is blessing in following God s commands, and He approves of your efforts and obedience. endure testing and temptation. Afterward they will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love him, James 1:12 [NLT].
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How do I deal with differences between my culture s worldview and the Christian worldview?
As Christians, our loyalty is first to God and His lordship (leading) in our lives. As followers of Jesus Christ, the Bible and what it says is the final authority and source for guidance for our lives. However, according to the Bible, as long as cultural and societal practices do not contradict what the Bible teaches, we are instructed to honor and obey the rules of our culture and laws of our government. If the government and authorities contradict what God s word (the Bible) says, then we are to obey God above government.
, Matthew 22:21 [NIV]. But Peter and the apostles answered We must obey God rather than men, [NASB].
How do I deal with pressure from peers to join them in inappropriate or questionable activities?
This is a difficult issue because while we want to be friendly toward all people, we also want to be faithful to God and to His standards for our lives. With that in mind, here are some practical suggestions about how to handle this challenge. If possible, offer positive and appropriate alternatives to bad or inappropriate activities. If this is not possible, graciously explain that you cannot participate in such activity because of changes that have taken place in your beliefs and attitudes and that, as a follower of Jesus Christ, you desire to honor Him in every area of your life.
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Here are some guidelines from the Bible to help you in this area: Even before He made the world, God loved us and chose us in Christ to be holy and without fault in His eyes, Ephesians 1:4 [NLT]. Now may the God of peace make you holy in every way, and may your whole spirit and soul and body be kept blameless until our Lord Jesus Christ comes again 1 Thessalonians 5:23 [NLT]. But like the Holy One who called you, be holy yourselves also in all your behavior; because it is written, YOU SHALL BE HOLY, FOR I AM HOLY, 1 Peter 1:15-‐16 [NASB]. But the day of the Lord will come as unexpectedly as a thief. Then the heavens will pass away with a terrible noise, and the very elements themselves will disappear in fire, and the earth and everything on it will be found to deserve judgment. Since everything around us is going to be destroyed like this, what holy and godly lives you should live, looking forward to the day of God and hurrying it along. On that day, He will set the heavens on fire, and the elements will melt away in the flames. But we are looking forward to the new heavens and new earth He has promised, a world filled with God's righteousness. And so, dear friends, while you are waiting for these things to happen, make every effort to be found living peaceful lives that are pure and blameless in His sight 2 Peter 3:10-‐14 [NLT]. As for you, you were dead in your transgressions [disobedience] and sins, in which you used to live when
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you followed the ways of this world and of the ruler of the kingdom of the air, the spirit [the devil] who is now at work in those who are disobedient. All of us also lived among them at one time, gratifying the cravings of our sinful nature and following its desires and thoughts. Like the rest, we were by nature objects of wrath. But because of His great love for us, God, who is rich in mercy, made us alive with Christ even when we were dead in transgressions it is by grace you have been saved, Ephesians 2:1-‐5 [NIV]. With the Lord's authority I say this: Live no longer as the Gentiles do, for they are hopelessly confused. Their minds are full of darkness; they wander far from the life God gives because they have closed their minds and hardened their hearts against Him. They have no sense of shame. They live for lustful pleasure and eagerly practice every kind of impurity. But that isn t what you learned about Christ. Since you have heard about Jesus and have learned the truth that comes from Him, throw off your old sinful nature and your former way of life, which is corrupted by lust and deception. Instead, let the Spirit renew your thoughts and attitudes. Put on your new nature, created to be like God truly righteous and holy, Ephesians 4:17-‐24 [NLT].
immorality, impurity, or greed among you. Such sins have no place among God s people. Obscene stories, foolish talk, and coarse jokes these are not for you. Instead, let there be thankfulness to God. You can be sure that no immoral, impure, or greedy person will inherit the Kingdom of Christ and of God. For a greedy person is an idolater, worshiping the things of this
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world. Don t be fooled by those who try to excuse these sins, for the anger of God will fall on all who disobey Him. Don t participate in the things these people do. For once you were full of darkness, but now you have light from the Lord. So live as people of li Ephesians 5:1, 3-‐8 [NLT].
How do I avoid getting caught in the trap of materialism?
Materialism is the condition of loving or being controlled by money and possessions. Here is what the Bible says about materialism: For the love of money is a root of all sorts of evil, and some by longing for it have wandered away from the faith and pierced themselves with many griefs, 1 Timothy 6:10 [NASB]. Note that it is not money itself that is a problem, it is the love of money. Money, used the right way, is a resource that can help provide for needs and accomplish much good in the world. Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moth and rust do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also, Matthew 6:19-‐21 [NIV]. If the desire to buy things, or the act of buying things brings you so much pleasure that it interferes with your relationship with God, with your family, or causes you
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financial problems, then you have a problem with materialism. Your money, your possessions, or even your desire to become wealthy is controlling you, rather than you controlling it. How do I deal with people who wrong me, betray me, or are unwilling to forgive me? First, the Bible has important things to say about how we should respond to people who wrong us. Jesus
But I say to you who hear, love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you, Luke 6:27, 28 [NASB]. Jesus If you love only those who love you, why should you get credit for that? Even sinners love those who love them! And if you do good only to those who do good to you, why should you get credit? Even sinners do that much! Love your enemies! Do good to them. Lend to them without expecting to be repaid. Then your reward from heaven will be very great, and you will truly be acting as children of the Most High, for He is kind to those who are unthankful and wicked. You must be compassionate, just as your Father is compassionate. Do not judge others, and you will not be judged. Do not condemn others, or it will all come back against you. Forgive others, and you will be forgiven Luke 6:32-‐37 [NLT]. Without God s help, this is impossible to do. But with God s help we can do anything, and the rewards are worth it. I can do all things through Him [Jesus] who strengthens me, :13 [NASB].
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Jesus understood that people would sin against us, and He asked us to forgive them. Therefore, we are to pray for those who betray us, that they will come to know God and His gift of true life. We are to forgive themforgive the harm they have caused and let God take care of justice. Understand that forgiveness is not the same as trust forgiveness is given, trust must be earned. But I say to you who hear, love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you, Luke 6:27-‐28 [NASB]. Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good, Romans 12:21 [NIV]. Make sure that nobody pays back wrong for wrong, but always try to be kind to each other and to everyone else, 1 Thessalonians 5:15 [NIV]. Additionally, you will want to give some thought as to how you might have offended the person who is harming you. If you can t think of any reason, ask them if you have somehow offended them. Ask their forgiveness for any failure(s) on your part, and try to make it right. If they forgive you, you have gained a friend if not, give it to God. If you have done nothing to offend them, ask God to work in the relationship to bring resolution and healing.
What does the Bible say about prayer?
Prayer is communication with God, worshipping Him, listening to His voice, sharing our burdens and concerns with Him. It is asking for God s help in our lives. It is asking for His presence, peace, His purpose for our lives,
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His provision in our lives, for our daily needs, His guidance, His spiritual protection, and His power. It is connecting God s resources with other people s needs. Following are some specific things the Bible says about prayer. God desires our prayers: If you ask Me anything in My name, I will do it, John 14:14 [NASB]. God answers our prayers: Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart, -‐13 [NIV]. Before they call I will answer; while they are still speaking I will hear 65:24 [NIV].
what you ask for. Keep on seeking, and you will find. Keep on knocking, and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks, receives. Everyone who seeks, finds. And to everyone who knocks, the door will be opened, -‐10 [NLT].
If we are a follower of Jesus Christ, we can pray with confidence: gracious God. There we will receive His mercy, and we will find grace to help us when we need it most,Hebrews 4:16 [NLT]. This is the confidence which we have before Him, that, if we ask anything according to His will, He hears us. And if we know that He hears us in whatever we ask, we know that we have the requests which we have asked from Him, 1 John 5:14-‐15 [NASB].
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We must pray with the right priorities: you don t have, so you scheme and kill to get it. You are jealous of what others have, but you can t get it, so you fight and wage war to take it away from them. Yet you don t have what you want because you don t ask God for it. And even when you ask, you don t get it because your motives are all wrong you want only what will give you pleasure James 4:2-‐3 [NLT]. We should pray without giving up: Then Jesus told his disciples a parable [a story which illustrates a higher truth] to show them that they should always pray and not give up, [NIV]. Never stop praying, [NLT].
What does the Bible say about how I can grow spiritually?
Make time to be with God each day in His Word (Bible reading and meditation, for this is our source of truth and wisdom for living). Ask yourself, What does it say? What does it truly mean? and How will I obey this truth? Make time to pray. Make time to be with God s people regularly. Avoid the danger of isolation. Attend a local church or community of faith. This will help you to be accountable spiritually and at the same time help you to encourage others. Christian returnees are faced with the same challenges as other returnees but they also leave behind their support network of Christian brothers and sisters. A Christian returnee is wise to understand that challenges
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Cultural Challenges The first thing that Jun noticed when she returned as a university professor to Taipei was the issue of personal
had
she noticed was both the physical and mental difference in space between herself and others around her. The trains were very crowded, and she also felt mentally crowded, unable to speak up about her own ideas. She worried about what other people would think about her and that they would not appreciate or respect her input. Xiao-‐niao, another returnee, described the frustration and anger she experienced when first returning home,
h another perspective (sharper and more critical-‐thinking oriented) thanks to broader access to information and the environment for free speech in U.things really are and how good and strong, everyday people are treated in my homeland. You would not expect that going back to your culture of origin would present any significant re-‐entry challenges, but this is most often the case. Living in another culture has exposed you to ideas and values that are different from those you grew up with sometimes very different. As a result, you may have decided to accept some of those new values and perspectives. This can result in different levels of conflict within you. Which value or idea is better? Which one will direct the decisions you make and the kinds of actions you will take? As a result of these new values and perspectives, you may also experience conflict with others in your culture. You may be
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uncomfortable with the way family, friends, or colleagues think and how they act. For this reason, it is very important to understand how your views and attitudes have changed, and how you will relate to those in your culture who think and act differently. The following suggestions from previous returnees, and others, may be helpful to consider as you look for positive ways to re-‐home culture. (See the chart on the following page for a comparison of Western and Eastern cultural values.)
How should I process and respond to all the changes that have taken place in my culture?
First of all, be patient with yourself. It takes time to re-‐adjust to changes that have happened in your culture, especially if ve been away for awhile. Find someone you trust that you can talk with about the changes you see, and how or why they came about. Remember that ISI staff may be able to connect you with other returnees who are in your area or are currently experiencing the same things you are. Try to identify how these changes make you feel (sad, angry, anxious, etc.) and why they make you feel that way. Adjusting is easier when you understand how things affect you and why. If appropriate, identify ways you can positively influence these areas (i.e., how you can contribute to positive change or help prevent negative change).
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A Comparison Between Western and Non-‐Western Cultural Values
American Values Non-‐Western Values nuclear family extended family individual is very important group most important emphasis on written language
emphasis on legends and stories
upward career mobility career loyalty and longevity tasks/goals relationships progress and change community and stability love marriages arranged marriages democracy dictatorship free market economy strategic business alliances youth age and wisdom
directness indirectness use of go-‐betweens
worth through achievements worth through relationships competition equality separation of religion and government
religion and government often integrated
entertainment is an industry socializing is entertainment reasoning in terms of probability reasoning in terms of known
distrust of authority submission to authority private space/ownership shared space/property personal problem solving corporate problem solving goal orientation and control over future
fate has predetermined the future
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How should I respond to the challenging parts of my culture (such as unpredictability, distrust, etc.)?
Usually there is a reason why certain characteristics have developed within a culture. Some of these reasons (causes) are positive, some are negative. If you are experiencing frustration or negative feelings about some things in your home culture, try to identify why those characteristics are there, and if there is anything you can do to help bring about positive change. Always try to focus on the positive aspects (strengths) of your culture and not the negative aspects (weaknesses). Focus on having a positive attitude and influence on those around you, rather than negative or critical attitude. Xiao-‐Niao realized that getting angry and always
prayers, I realized being negative will only make things
in spite of everything. Start changes from myself. Little changes will vibrate and eventually work out big. Sounds like clichés, right? Sometimes simple ideas take
What does the Bible say about cultures?
All around the world people speak different languages, dress differently, eat differently, and share different ideas about life, relationships, and the world in which they live. Where did these different cultures come from? What is their purpose? Are some cultures more important or of greater value and good? If not, how can we know which cultural values should be kept, and which should not? The Bible, God s instruction book for
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the human race, helps us to understand these issues and to answer these questions. Although the Bible does not
it does to refer to
the people and practices of different cultures. Here are some passages that answer some of the above questions. After the creation of the human race and then its rebellion and sin against God s way, all peoples of the earth (except one family, Noah s family) became wicked and had to be destroyed by a great, global flood (Genesis 6:12-‐13, 7:17-‐24). All of the present nations (cultures) of the world come from one family, the family of Noah (Genesis 6:17-‐18; 7:1-‐7, 9:18-‐10). Sometime after the flood, human beings once again became proud and rebellious against God, this time as a unified group. God would not allow this to happen again. He confused their speech so that they could not communicate with each other and carry out their plan
gave birth to the different languages and cultures of the world (Genesis 11:1-‐9). Because of the rebellion and sin of the human race against God s ways, every person in every culture is born with rebellion already in his or her heart (Genesis 8:21; Psalm 14:3; 53:3; Romans 3:23). God loves and equally values all people from all cultures of the world (John 3:16; 2 Peter 3:9).
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God promised to send salvation from sin to all cultures and nations of the world through His Son Jesus, a descendant of the family of Abraham (Genesis 12:2-‐3; 18:18; 26:4; 28:14). God desires to guide and bring purpose and blessing to every culture and nation (Psalm 67:4-‐7). Some day all people, cultures, and nations of the world will realize that the God who gave us the Bible and sent His son Jesus to earth is the only true god, and that He alone deserves our worship (Revelation 7:9-‐12; 14:6-‐7; 15:4).
What does the Bible say about what my attitude should be toward culture and people in general?
Dwelling on negative aspects of a culture or a person doesn t help anything. Instead, identify and choose to focus on what is good and those things for which you can be thankful. Look at others as Christ sees them. If there is something that you can do to effect a positive change, then look for ways to accomplish this. Zhang Yimou, a returnee and university professor of technology, had some wise advice on this. He saknow in the States, a lot of things go very well, but in China we are a developing country. Some things are not so good. If some people live in the States for a long time, they are too critical. Some people are hypercritical; they can only see what is wrong. But if you think everything is wrong, you don t do your best to change it. You only think it s wrong and you become angrier and angrier. It s terrible; it s no use. But you should do something. You should learn from the States and learn to change
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something to do good for your country. Help your country. You should put more energy to do good for
Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him Colossians 3:15, 17 [NIV]. In everything give thanks; for this will for you in Christ Jesus, 1 Thessalonians 5:18 [NASB]. Therefore, since we are receiving a kingdom that cannot be shaken, let us be thankful, and so worship God acceptably with reverence and awe, for our God is a consuming fire, Hebrews 12:28, 29 [NIV].
conducting yourselves in a manner worthy of the Good News about Christ. Then, whether I come and see you again or only hear about you, I will know that you are standing together with one spirit and one purpose, fighting together for the faith, which is the Good News, Philippians 1:27 [NLT].
control: We know that we are of God, and that the whole world lies in the power of the evil one 1 John 5:19 [NASB]. And the great dragon was thrown down, the serpent of old who is called the devil and Satan, who deceives the
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whole world; he was thrown down to the earth, and his angels were thrown down with him Revelation 12:9 [NASB]. God s love and message are for all cultures throughout the world:
nnounced His victory and has revealed [NLT].
And the Good News about the Kingdom will be preached throughout the whole world, so that all nations will hear it; and then the end will comeMatthew 24:14 [NLT]. My dear children, I write this to you so that you will not sin. But if anybody does sin, we have one who speaks to the Father in our defense Jesus Christ, the Righteous One. He is the atoning sacrifice for our sins, and not only for ours but also for the sins of the whole world -‐2 [NIV]. But in every nation the man who fears Him and does what is right is welcome to Him [NASB]. Then I saw another angel flying in mid-‐air, and he had the eternal gospel to proclaim to those who live on the earth to every nation, tribe, language and peopleRevelation 14:6 [NIV].
every nation and tribe and people and language, standing in front of the throne and before the Lamb. They were clothed in white robes and held palm
[NLT].
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Career Challenges The very reason Chinese students want to study overseas is to expand their educational experience, with the hope of being able to get a better job when they return home. This does not always happen this way. They may have to take an average job until something better becomes available. In fact, some returnee students have experienced difficulty getting a job at all. This can be frustrating and very disappointing. Lin-‐Lin, a professor who returned to her home in China, thought having studied abroad would give me an
was very hard. In addition, sometimes returnee students experience jealousy and unkindness from colleagues at work because they did not get to study abroad. Xin, a professor who returned to China, over establishing labs, getting students, applying for grants, and [dealing with the] jealousy of superiors. [It] made everything difficult for me.
China, many people have two faces. I have definitely had to deal with [dishonesty and cheating] in the workplace. Song, a lawyer from Shanghai, was surprised at the
adjustment I could never have expected that my new position would be so stressful, so demanding, take so
but I think I am getting adjusted
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It is good to know of these possible situations and be prepared to deal with them. Returnees are faced with many career related challenges and questions. Some of these with suggested solutions follow:
How do I find and get a good job (practical guidelines/skills)?
In addition to looking for job openings on websites, it s important to network with other professionals. Make contacts with people in the same field as you. If there are online communities in your field, join them. It s true in many places that too often it is not what you know, but who you know that gets you a job. Jin, a returnee
to go back to China for jobs after studying abroad, you must follow the situations in China closely and maintain good relations with friends in China. It will help you a
Another returnee, Mei-‐Lien, also noticed difficulties in
The longer you stay abroad, the smaller your social network in China might
friends or make new friends across the borders as easily and frequently as before. When I returned to China, I realized that my circle of friends and acquaintances was small, and not having adequate local connections and resources became a disadvantage and posed a challenge
Mei-‐Lien was able to find a solution for this challenge and had these recommendations for other returnees:
to live and work eventually, I suggest that you continue to maintain and
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expand your network in China when you are abroad. Do
extending your network of social connections. Stay in touch with your former classmates, your friends, your professors, etc. and get to know more successful people through them. Make good use of the major online sites, such as LinkedIn, Sina Weibo, and famous Chinese SNS (kaixin001.com, renren.com). Perhaps the leads or experience that you gain from someone will land your
Mei-‐Lien also had these suggestions for returnees who expect to enter the workforce upon their return, Studying abroad is no longer a rare experience for Chinese people. Therefore, a foreign degree is not as superior to a native degree as before. Real-‐world experience is more valued for a company based in China. In order to gain a competitive advantage over other local job seekers when you return, I suggest that you not return home immediately after completing your studies. Instead, you would better seize any opportunity to accumulate some work experience in American
advanced business management and organizational methods of efficiency through your job in the States; they can be the impressive points to the Chinese recruiters when you sell yourself at a job interview in the future. Identify which field you want to work in and what strengths you have before you return to China. In other words, well prepare yourself for the highly competitive market before you return, i.e. resume, certificates, qualifications, skills, etc., to get a head
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How do I deal with the intense competition in my work world (or school)?
Here you will walk a fine line between demonstrating your skills and abilities to your superiors and at the same time experiencing jealousies and prejudices from your colleagues. When you have the opportunity, use humility in sharing what you have learned in your field. You cannot control what others do, but you can control yourself. Work hard. Do what is expected of you. Stay positive at work. When you are negative in your thinking or conversations with others at work, you not only hurt yourself and your performance, but you also give your colleagues and superiors an opportunity to think less of you as an individual and professional. Be an employee who focuses on solutions rather than on problems. Mei-‐Lien shared how she handled work-‐place
capabilities and dedications are prized above anything else. Essentially, they determine your promotion potential most Chinese enterprises, whether you will be promoted or not depends on many factors other than your excellent ability, such as your age, your seniority, your relation with your superiors, your
motivation for hard work can sometimes be affected. To overcome this big difference, I had to first admit this reality, and then to pay special attention to my relations with colleagues. I was very cautious of giving offense to others. I kept a low profile at work, trying not to be a showman. On the other hand, I was proactive in assuming new responsibilities that would increase my promotion potential, and I also found opportunities to
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discuss my career path with my supervisor in order to
Some words from the Bible that describe what our attitude toward work should be: ever be lazy, but
Romans 12:11 [NLT]. So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God [NIV].
How do I deal with the pressure or expectation to cut corners in my job?
It is important to remember that doing things right the first time prevents having to do them over again and wasting time and money. Cutting corners and being unethical (dishonest) are sure to have consequences sooner or later, consequences that could be embarrassing if not harmful to you and the company. Si, a professor from Shanghai, made it a habit to ask for God s strength and a right heart so that he wouldn t give in to negative influences. Another returnee, Ming-‐hoa from Hong Kong, believed that facing pressures to act unethically are ideal opportunities to share our faith and convictions. Ming-‐show your faith instead of telling in your work/office. There will be plenty of opportunities to show you re different when being tempted, as the business ethic in
God bondservants [employees] to be obedient to their own masters [employers], to be well pleasing in all things, not answering back, not pilfering [stealing], but showing all good fidelity, that
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they may adorn the doctrine of God our Savior in all -‐10 [NKJV].
[NLT].
How do supervisor prejudice or jealousy because of my study abroad?
Remember to gently share what you have learned. Cong, a psychology student from Beijing, humble in your company or in your job, not like, I just came back from the U.S. (or from another country). It s better to be humble, humble, not always saying, America is something; America is good.colleagues may become defensive thinking that you think you know better than they do now. Remember in the first chapter about sharing your overseas experience with others. Share a little at a time and only as much as they are interested in knowing. Share positive and negative aspects of the things you ve learned, and show interest in what they think and the way they are doing things as well. In other words, don t act like you know better, and continue to be a learner. Confucius said, A superior man is modest in his speech, but exceeds in his actions. God When pride comes, then comes disgrace, but with humility comes wisdom, Proverbs 11:2 [NIV].
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How do I (female) deal with prejudices by men against women in my work environment?
This can be a very sensitive and frustrating situation for you that will probably take time and patience to change. The best way for you as a woman to prove that you are just as capable as a man in your job is for you to produce quality work. It will also be important as much as possible to maintain a positive, respectful attitude toward your colleagues, even toward the men who have prejudices against women. Your good work and positive attitude are the best answer to their negative views. A gentle answer turns away wrath, But a harsh word stirs up anger, [NASB]. The following passage refers specifically to the marriage relationship, but the principle may also apply to this situation: In the same way, you wives must accept the authority of your husbands. Then, even if some refuse to obey the Good News, your godly lives will speak to them without any words. They will be won over [NLT].
How do I cope with the lack of Christian friends and colleagues at work?
First of all, pray to God for a Christian friend. Pray for all your work colleagues that they would know God. And remember always to be Christ-‐like in your interactions with work colleagues.
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How do I deal with discrimination against Christians at my place of work?
When possible and appropriate, appeal to those in authority. Remember some outcomes of persecution: Your faith will be deepened and made pure. Seekers will be drawn to your example and testimony. God will judge those who persecute you. And though it may not be easy, remember to pray for those who persecute you. God blesses those who are persecuted for doing right, for the Kingdom of Heaven is theirs. God blesses you when people mock you and persecute you and lie about you and say all sorts of evil things against you because you are My followers. Be happy about it! Be very glad! For a great reward awaits you in heaven. And remember, the ancient prophets were persecuted in the same way, Matthew 5:10-‐12 [NLT].
tell you: love your enemies [Bless those who curse you. Do good to those who hate you.] and pray for those who persecute you, [NIV].
How do I deal with the rejection and persecution from non-‐Christian colleagues, especially in the university and professional environment)?
The Bible says that we should expect this. All around the world, people who have trusted and followed Jesus Christ have been persecuted. Some have been laughed at, criticized, and insulted. Others have been excluded from certain rights, privileges, or opportunities. Still others have been put in jail, tortured, or even killed for their faith.
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Some Christians believe that persecution only happened hundreds or thousands of years ago and that it doesn t happen today. But all over the world today people are still being persecuted for their faith in Jesus Christ. This may seem unfair, especially for those who are doing what is right and following God. However, God promises that if we follow Him, we will be persecuted in some way. Persecution can be as small as being laughed at or as big as being put to death.
Why do people persecute followers of Jesus? And why does God allow it? Does He have a purpose for allowing His people to suffer? How should we respond to persecution and to those who persecute us?
Here are some Bible passages about persecution for you to think and pray about.
gpersecute you also. If they obeyed my teaching, they will obey yours also [NIV].
And though it seems contrary to what you think you should do, you should pray for and bless those who persecute you. But I say to you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, Matthew 5:44 [NASB].
Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse [NIV].
As you endure persecution, God sees you and will bless you: Blessed are you when people insult you and
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persecute you, and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of Me [NASB].
You will receive a great and eternal reward, God blesses those who are persecuted for doing right, for the Kingdom of Heaven is theirs... Be happy about it! Be very glad! For a great reward awaits you in heaven. And remember, the ancient prophets were persecuted in the
[NLT].
and love will never leave you: Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword? [NIV] and We are hunted down, but never abandoned by God. We get knocked down, but we are not [NLT]. Career challenges can be among the most frustrating for returnees to face. They sacrificed much to live overseas and study, leaving behind loved ones and all that was familiar. Those of you who became Christians while overseas now face the challenge of how to share your faith, and the rejection, ridicule or persecution that may come when you do. You have returned to your home countries believing you have something to offer, to make a difference and help improve the lives of your people within your chosen fields or careers. Instead you may find rejection when jobs are not available and ridicule when jealousy and prejudice arise. Recognizing that you are not alone in these experiences and that your response can make a difference will help you to maintain the right perspective and to stay focused on
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Marriage Challenges If you are a married returnee student, you will most likely experience some additional challenges that are unique to being married. This is true whether you went to your host country as a married person, or you got married while you were in your host country. You and your spouse will adjust to returning in different ways and at different rates. Bao Yu, the returnee from Mongolia, described how her husband had more
-‐thinking style and is easy to be angry. He couldn t adjust to the traffic, to the amount of people. Sometimes the adjustments are greater if you got married away from home. Or if you are not yet married as you return home, you may experience family pressure to get married right away. Ching Lan, a student from Taipei, returned to her home and found that her parents expected her to get married and to have children as soon as possible. They believed that she was wasting time being single. Another returnee, Jia-‐Li, also felt pressure from her mother to get married when she returned from the U.S. She shared that other relatives even tried to arrange marriages for her. Zhin, another
get married. They will set you up with dates and urge you to get serious fast. This is so bad, in my opinion. I see so many people rush into things because of this
How do I deal with the pressure to get married?
Understand that family members and relatives mean well. Focus on building encouraging friendships with same-‐gender peers and quality friendships with
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opposite-‐gender peers. It might even be helpful to share with your family and relatives that you need time to adjust first to being home again and to the new challenges you are facing before getting serious about marriage. Here are some words of encouragement from the Bible as you wait and trust God for His provision of a marriage partner: Wait for the LORD; Be strong and let your heart take courage; Yes, wait for the LORD, Psalm 27:14 [NASB]. For since the world began, no ear has heard and no eye has seen a God like you, who works for those who wait for him, Isaiah 64:4 [NLT]. Even strong young lions sometimes go hungry, but those who trust in the LORD will lack no good thing, Psalm 34:10 [NLT]. Trust in the LORD with all your heart And do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, And He will make your paths straight [show you the way to go], Proverbs 3:5-‐6 [NASB]. This is what the LORD says: Cursed are those who put their trust in mere humans, who rely on human strength and turn their hearts away from the LORDhave made the LORD their hope and confidence,Jeremiah 17:5, 7 [NLT].
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So do not throw away your confidence; it will be richly rewarded. You need to persevere so that when you have done the will of God, you will receive what he has promised, -‐36 [NIV].
What does the Bible say about marriage?
Look around you. Everything has a purpose and functions according to some design or plan. In fact, nothing that has been created has been created without a plan and purpose. Each design includes a set of guidelines for how things should work. If the guidelines are followed, things will work. If they aren t, things won t work at least not the way they were designed to work. The same is true for marriage. Thankfully, God, the Great Designer, has given us the master plan for how marriages should work, and when couples follow his plan for marriage, love grows and thrives. If you re not married, perhaps you desire to have a successful marriage someday. Here are some key truths from God s Word about God s plan for relationships to help make your future marriage great. Marriage was established by God from the beginning of the human race (Genesis 2:21-‐24). Marriage was intended to be the closest of all human relationships, where a man and woman enjoy deep and true companionship (Genesis 2:18, 22-‐24; Proverbs 5:18). Marriage was designed by God to be a lifelong relationship between a man and a woman (Matthew 19:6; Malachi 2:16).
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A key purpose of marriage is for a husband and wife to have children and raise them to be followers of God (Deuteronomy 11:18-‐21; Malachi 2:15). Another key purpose of marriage is for a husband and wife to work together to rule over and care for God s world (Genesis 1:26, 28). Unfaithfulness in our marriage relationship will negatively affect our relationship with God (Malachi 2:14). Part of God s design for marriage is for husbands to understand and love their wives and for wives to respect and follow their husbands God-‐directed leadership (Ephesians 5:22-‐23; Colossians 3:18-‐19; Titus 2:4-‐5). For marriage to work in God s way, husbands and wives must care for each other s true needs (Ephesians 5:21; Titus 2:4-‐6). When we follow God s design for marriage, God is honored, His truth wins, and love grows (1 Peter 3:1-‐7).
How can I find a good husband or wife? What does the Bible say about it?
a good husband or wife, you should think long and hard about whether or not you are ready for marriage. Ask yourself these important questions:
Am I prepared to be a good marriage partner?
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Have I resolved my past (my failures against others and others failures against me)?
Have I understood and learned to conquer my character or moral flaws?
Am I growing in spiritual maturity? Am I prepared for the future (finances, goals, etc.)?
Am I committed to God s work and priorities?
then perhaps you need to consider working on these issues in order to be as emotionally and mentally healthy as you can before pursuing marriage. Marriage life can be beautiful, but it takes work to live with someone harmoniously. If you can to these questions, then it would be helpful for you to think about the following questions:
Is the person I m interested in ready for marriage?
Is he or she a mature disciple of Jesus Christ? Does he or she have a good concept of self (does he or she like himself or herself)?
Has he or she resolved his or her past (own failures, others failures?)
Has he or she understood and learned to conquer his or her character or moral flaws?
Is he or she committed to God s work and priorities?
Again, if you cannot answer these questions with a
then you should consider waiting and perhaps working with your potential partner to address these issues. Entering the union of marriage as two mature
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and emotionally healthy people will give your marriage a better chance of success than dealing with unresolved mental and emotional pain and problems from the past. And more importantly, your marriage will have an even better chance at success if you marry someone who is also a follower of Jesus Christ. Do not be bound together with unbelievers; for what partnership have righteousness and lawlessness, or what fellowship has light with darkness? 2 Corinthians 6:14 [NASB].
What does the Bible say about divorce?
God hates divorce; it was never part of His plan for us. However, divorce is permitted in the case of adultery. Also, in the case of abuse, separation is also permitted. Some Pharisees came and tried to trap [Jesus] with this question: Should a man be allowed to divorce his wife for just any reason? Haven t you read the Scriptures? Jesus replied. They record that from the beginning God made them male and female. And He said, This explains why a man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one. Since they are no longer two but one, let no one split apart what God has joined together. Then why did Moses say in the law that a man could give his wife a written notice of divorce and send her away? they asked. Jesus replied, Moses permitted divorce only as a concession to your hard hearts, but it was not what God had originally intended, Matthew 19:3-‐8 [NLT].
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How can I become a better spouse (husband or wife)? What does the Bible say about this?
The Bible says that husbands are to love and understand their wives just as Christ loved the church and gave His life for the church. This is sometimes a difficult command to follow, but if we think of everything Christ did for us out of love, we should not be surprised that this is also the way God wants husbands to love their own wives.
Christ loved the church. He gave up His life for her to make her holy and clean, washed by the cleansing of God s word. He did this to present her to himself as a glorious church without a spot or wrinkle or any other blemish. Instead, she will be holy and without fault. In the same way, husbands ought to love their wives as they love their own bodies. For a man who loves his wife actually shows love for himself. No one hates his own body but feeds and cares for it, just as Christ cares for the church. And we are members of His body, Ephesians 5:25-‐30 [NLT].
Wives are to honor and respect their husbands. Just as it can be difficult for husbands to love their wives unconditionally, it may also be difficult for wives to respect their husbands because their behavior may not always be respectable. Remember, the command is not to respect the wrong behavior, but to respect and honor him and his leadership position before God. Many husbands recognize their sinful behavior and turn from it when their wives choose to show them honor and respect, in spite of their failure.
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the Lord. For a husband is the head of his wife as Christ is the head of the church. He is the Savior of His body, the church. As the church submits to Christ, so you wives should submit to your husbands in everything, Ephesians 5:22-‐24 [NLT].
Finally, both husbands and wives are to submit to each other, or serve each other s needs.
Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ, Ephesians 5:21 [NIV].
Strengthening your faith and staying close to God will help you be a good husband or wife. Keeping communication open is also an important aspect of a good marriage. When one partner stops talking or listening, the marriage becomes one-‐sided, unbalanced and difficult. Some returnee couples find that once they return to their homes the pace of life becomes so busy in their workplace, that they don t even have the time or energy to talk to their spouses. (See the previous section lance my priorities in life?) Many books have been written on the topic of building a strong marriage. [See Resources List for titles and links.] One international organization whose mission it is to strengthen marriages (United Marriage Encounter) uses journaling as a tool. The way this works is that couples write letters to each other in their journals and share them together. It sounds basic, but it is a powerful tool that can be very helpful in opening up communication and strengthening a marriage.
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What kind of challenges could I experience returning to my culture as a married person if I left as a single person?
Recognize that your parents and family may be feeling left out, or may resent that you got married away from home. Help your parents experience what they missed by sharing with them how you met your spouse and why you decided to get married away from home. Reassure them that you were not trying to ignore them or exclude them. Perhaps holding a special ceremony with family and friends to celebrate your wedding with them may help them to experience what they missed.
your friends and family can meet your spouse (include a video or a slideshow of your wedding, etc.). Just keep in mind that it will take time for your family and spouse to get acquainted and become comfortable with each other.
How do I deal with the frustration or disappointment of not being able to get pregnant?
See your physician for help with determining if there are any biological factors contributing to this problem. Talk to people you know, who have experienced this same challenge, to get their input and perspective. Returnees face many personal challenges as they re-‐adjust to life and culture in their home countries. Be patient with family members who might be pressuring you to get married. Try to see things from their point of view. Expressing understanding to family members that may be putting social pressures on you as a newly returned student could help improve the situation. Ching Lan understood that her parents felt their own
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lives would only be complete if they saw her married with children. Jia Li said that those pressures eased after some time. Returnees who are married may find that dealing with the challenges of reverse culture shock with a partner may complicate matters because they react to changes differently. But it also can make it easier since you have someone who understands what you are going through at your side. Start the day with your spouse praying for each other and encouraging each other. As you go through your day, and your husband or wife comes to your mind, pray for them again. What comfort you will receive in knowing that your spouse is praying to God for you. And as Ming-‐hoa, a returnee from Hong Kong, sa -‐entry experience may be different from others. Nonetheless, our faith and personal growth have been tested and strengthened through difficult and challenging situations. For more help on this issue, see the Resource section at the end of this text.
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Family Challenges In addition to personal and marriage challenges during the re-‐entry process, many students also experience family challenges when they return home. One such returnee was Bao Yu who saw the changes her young daughter had to go th Before [my daughter] went abroad she was one of the best students, Bao Yu
ut when she came back, she was at the bottom... She had to work hard... Yes, it was hard for her. Some returnees find that the independence and freedom they enjoyed in their host country may be restricted by well-‐meaning family members. Jun, a returnee in Taipei, any Taiwanese students are not really living their own lives but living for their parents. This may be because they are going into a field of study that their parents have chosen for them instead of a field in which they are interested. Jun also had trouble with having to listen to other people s ideas and go along with them so that she would not appear to be impolite or disrespectful. There were many times when she wanted to go against the group and make a different decision. Other returnees also realized that the way they view their relatives and how they relate to them has changed. Jia-‐Li from Taipei, States, I didn t really see people as individuals I saw people as units families, etc. But after the U.S., I started to see people as individuals. It made me feel not as accepted by my culture. I felt like a foreigner. Jia-‐Li says that she did feel better again, and now she feels she can bridge between the two cultures, seeing both sides and seeing things at home the way they were before.
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However her feelings about privacy have changed permanently. She explains about what happened when she went to a family wedd One of my cousins asked about my family. I didn t want to tell him, felt it was too private. Before I would have shared, but
Following are some questions that other returnees have had. Perhaps you ve had the same and wondered what solutions there might be.
How do I deal with my parents different expectations or views?
First of all, it is important that you treat your parents with honor and respect. Let them know how your feelings for them have not changed even if they see changes in you. Share with them your hopes and dreams, and ask them for their thoughts and counsel.
What does the Bible say about relating to and caring for my parents?
Remember first to respect and honor them Honor your father and your mother, that your days may be prolonged in the land which the LORD your God gives you, Exodus 20:12 [NASB]. Listen to your father, who gave you life, and do not despise your mother when she is old, Proverbs 23:22 [NIV]. Secondly, help them, especially as they become less able to care for themselves [any widow] has children or grandchildren, their first responsibility is to show godliness at home and repay their parents by
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taking care of them. This is something that pleases God But those who won t care for their relatives, especially
those in their own household, have denied the true faith. Such people are worse than unbelievers, 1 Timothy 5:4, 8 [NLT]. Obey your parents .parents in the Lord, for this is right, Ephesians 6:1 [NASB]. This means we are to obey our parents as long as they are not asking us to disobey God and His word. It s true that following Jesus may at times cause conflict
They will be divided, father against son and son against father, mother against daughter and daughter against mother, mother-‐in-‐law against daughter-‐in-‐law and daughter-‐in-‐law against mother-‐in-‐law, Luke 12:53 [NIV]. Even so, God must come before our parents. We must show allegiance to God first. Anyone who loves his father or mother more than me is not worthy of me; anyone who loves his son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me, Matthew 10:37 [NIV] And everyone who has left houses or brothers or sisters or father or mother or children or farms for My name s sake, will receive many times as much, and will inherit eternal life, Matthew 19:29 [NASB].
How do I deal with distance or isolation (loneliness) from my family?
As your family members go through an adjustment period with your return, you may feel that you are no longer in the same place as when you left. Take time to reestablish your relationships. And at the same time,
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make new friends and new relationships. Get to know people around you. (group) with interests that you share. It is helpful to take the focus off of yourself, and look for ways to help those around you. And finally, turn to God always; remember that although your own parents may reject and abandon father and mother abandon me, the LORD will hold me close, Psalm 27:10 [NLT].
What does the Bible say about the family?
The family is an integral and essential part of every society. But what is the ideal function of a family? What are the roles and responsibilities of the members of a family? How should a family live so that each person experiences love and acceptance? The Bible tells us that God has a special plan and purpose for the family. His truths and guidelines can help each family grow and have a positive impact on its members and on society. Whether you come from a family that loves each other as God intended or you have suffered because your family has not known God or followed His ways, the Bible can teach you how to build your own wonderful family. Here are some of the truths in the Bible that can direct how you live your life and build your family. The family is the primary building block of society (Numbers 1:2, 26:2; Psalm 22:27-‐28). It is primarily in and through the family that God s truth and ways are passed on from one generation to the next (Genesis 18:19; Deuteronomy 4:9-‐10; 11:18-‐21).
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The disobedience of parents can have a negative impact on their children and their children s children (Exodus 20:5, 34:7; Deuteronomy 5:9). God s blessings on those who obey him often are shared by their entire family (Deuteronomy 4:40, 5:29). Parents are not to discourage their children through harsh or unreasonable demands and attitudes (Colossians 3:21). Parents are to raise their children to know and obey God (Deuteronomy 30:1-‐3). Children are to obey their parents in everything because this pleases God and brings blessing to their own lives (Colossians 3:20). God s desire is for families to serve him together and to share God s life and love with others (Exodus 10:2; 20:5-‐6; Deuteronomy 6:4-‐9, 31:12-‐13, 32:46-‐47).
How can I become a better parent? What does the Bible say about raising a child?
Identify attitudes and actions that you believe are helpful and those that are hurtful in parenting. Remember ways that your parents helped you and ways that were hurtful to you. Discuss with other parents ways they think are good and bad parenting attitudes and behaviors. The Bible warns parents not to be so hard on their child or have such unreasonable demands that he or she becomes discouraged (Colossians 3:21). Decide on the attitudes and actions you want to develop and practice in your parenting. Then put together a plan
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that you will use to become a better parent. Evaluate yourself regularly to see how well you are doing in following your parenting plan. Ask people you trust to give you honest feedback on how you are doing as a parent (and where you could improve). The Bible says to raise our children in the knowledge of
Remember the day you stood before the LORD
people before me to hear my words so that they may learn to revere me as long as they live in the land and may teach them to their children, Deuteronomy 4:10 [NIV]. We all learn by repetition, so it is important to continuously talk to our children about God s way and His truth. The Bible says, to your children. Talk about [God s commands, decrees and regulations] when you are at home and when you are on the road, when you are going to bed and when you are getting up, Deuteronomy 6:7 [NLT]. Finally, it is very important to set an example of a Godly life to our childrenbecause you are young, but set an example for the believers in speech, in life, in love, in faith and in purity, 1 Timothy 4:12 [NIV]. Train up a child in the way he should go. Even when he is old he will not depart from it, Proverbs 22:6 [NASB]. Jesus also said, For I gave you an example that you also should do as I did to you, [NASB].
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How do I help my child adjust to life back home?
Talk with your child on a regular basis about how he/she is doing (what struggles they might be having) during this transition period with school responsibilities or with relationships with peers. Ask your child how you can help with their transition challenges. Identify and discuss with your child some goals he or she can work toward during this transition time, and reassure him/her that you are there to help. Bao-‐Yu, whose daughter had a difficult time adjusting to life in their home country, especially in her school work, talked to her friend back in the U.S. She spoke to her friendship partner about how she had been an encouragement to them and especially to her daughter,
us about our new life and emailed and said you loved us. So it gave us strength to adapt to our new life. Especially for my daughter, the time we Skyped, she almost cried, and I almost cried. You said to her, You are the best. You are special. You are wonderful. When you said that to her, she told you, I have not heard anyone praise me here. You said, I know. I praise you. So yes, my daughter got stronger and stronger, and her scores went up. Remind your child that he or she is special and that you believe in him or her. Pray with your child. There will be times when your child may not tell you about some problem, until you are praying together.
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What does the Bible say about sharing my faith with nonbelievers (i.e. parents, friends)?
Ask them questions; that s what Jesus did. Be prepared to give an answer for the hope that you have. Always share with gentleness and respect. Share God s story with others. Tell them how His Word (the Bible) speaks to you. Explain how God has answered or is answering your prayers. Tell how He has changed or is changing you. Share your story about how you came to believe. Help them make it their own story. Ask them what they believe and understand. Warn them about Satan s strategy and work to destroy. Affirm that what they believe and the commitment they are making is true and life-‐changing. Be patient and let them see the change in you.
change the deep-‐rooted culture; however, you can act upon the decrees in the Bible on your own or with like-‐minded people. Practice what you believe. When they notice your changes, they may wonder and gradually accept your belief. Walk in God s way. Be kind to your colleagues. When there is a need, reach out. Deshi, from Shanghai, discovered something about
way of thinking or mentality better, so I can have a better relationship with them. Then, I can share the gospel or serve them better. Sometimes you might even be surprised that your family members are more accepting of your faith than you expected, like An Xin, from Zhengzhou who shares,
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were not against my faith. To some degree, they have been even helpful to me. My mother and father are not strongly against my belief. To my greatest joy and surprise, my mother is getting to know some friends from the church and has attended several times and thinks that it is a wonderful experience. When Mu, a medical doctor in Shanghai, returned to his home, his parents both had health problems. He was able to pray for his parents and believes that God helped them. These kinds of stories of faith in action are ones that will make the greatest impact on those with whom you share your faith. As the member of a family, returnees must accept that the changes they themselves experience can have an effect on those other family members around them. Keeping an open mind and heart, being patient, reflective, and sensitive to others, as well as seeking God s guidance in prayer, can help improve the transition into the lives of friends and family back home. Dewei reminded returnees that social relationships are differyou can do is that to try to give some time for yourself
immediately express discontent and [distance] yourself
Dewei situation you find yourself in when you go back,
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maintain a strong relationship with your family. Your Chinese parents are probably the only people that could provide you with unconditional support under any circumstances. They could be the ultimate backup when you most need, it even if they do not speak the same
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Faith Challenges Studying in another culture not only expands our academic and cultural horizons, but often also expands or challenges our personal and spiritual beliefs and assumptions. Maybe it has exposed us to concepts or questions we have never seriously thought about, such as the three fundamental questions of humanity: Where did we come from (our origin)? Why are we here? (our purpose), and Where are we going? (our destiny). In addition, there are many other questions we may now have about faith and destiny. These important questions, and their answers, determine what we believe about ourselves and how we relate to other people, the world around us, and the choices we make every day. You may find the following suggestions helpful as you explore answers to the deeper questions of life, faith, and destiny that you might have.
Where can I find wisdom and direction for my life?
There are many verses in the Bible that deal with getting wisdom. The general answer is that if we ask God for wisdom, He will give it to us. See the verses below for more:
mon, my son, learn to know the God of your ancestors intimately. Worship and serve Him with your whole heart and a willing mind. For the Lord sees every heart and knows every plan and thought. If you seek Him, you will find Him. But if you forsake Him, He will
[NLT]. He continued to seek God in the days of Zechariah, who had understanding through the vision of God; and as
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long as he sought the LORD, God prospered him 2 Chronicles 26:5 [NASB].
power are found in God; counsel [NLT].
And this is what He says to all humanity: The fear of the Lord is true wisdom; to forsake evil is real understanding, [NASB]. Surely you desire truth in the inner parts; you teach me wisdom in the inmost place [NIV]. For the LORD gives wisdom; From His mouth come knowledge and understanding [NASB]. Joyful is the person who finds wisdom, the one who
3 [NLT]. For wisdom is more precious than rubies, and nothing you desire can compare with her [NIV]. How much better it is to get wisdom than gold! And to get understanding is to be chosen above silver,Proverbs 16:16 [NASB]. He who gets wisdom loves his own soul; he who cherishes understanding prospers Proverbs 19:8 [NASB]. and [Daniel] said: Praise be to the name of God forever and ever; wisdom and power are his. He changes times and seasons; he sets up kings and deposes them. He gives wisdom to the wise and knowledge to the discerning, -‐21 [NIV].
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If you need wisdom, ask our generous God, and He will
James 1:5 [NLT]. How can I experience true success in life? The answer to this question varies from person to person. For some, success might be getting wealth and material possessions. For others, success might be obtaining power or fame. For such people, the ultimate gain for them would be achieving their own happiness. However, a closer look at people who have already obtained wealth, power or fame shows us that they are often not happy. Those who have found themselves at the end of their lives, have often commented that it wasn t fame, power or wealth that made them successful. What made them feel successful was what they did for others and the meaningful relationships they had developed. So, true success in life is when we have made a difference in other people s lives, not when our goal is to serve ourselves. As you think about what leads to true success in your life, think about what goals you should work toward in order to achieve this success. These may be career goals, personal goals, or relationship goals. Plans fail for lack of counsel, but with many advisers they succeed [NIV]. Good planning and hard work lead to prosperity, but
[NLT]. Then I observed that most people are motivated to success because they envy their neighbors.
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But this, too, is meaningless like chasing the wind, Ecclesiastes 4:4 [NLT]. As believers, our understanding of success should be different from the world s understanding. We must ask ourselves if our goals agree with God s plans for us. We can turn to God s Word (the Bible) for guidance. Study this Book of Instruction continually. Meditate on it day and night so you will be sure to obey everything written in it. Only then will you prosper and succeed in
[NLT]. Commit to the LORD whatever you do, and your plans will succeed [NIV].
How can I achieve my goals and objectives in life?
One strategy that is said to be very effective for achieving goals and objectives is to write them down. Begin by identifying your own personal passion for your life. Define what your personal vision is, what you want to accomplish in your life. Choose goals that are realistic for you. Then identify the action steps you will need to take in order to reach each goal. Next, decide on appropriate deadlines for accomplishing those action steps to reach your goals. The important thing is to take one step at a time, keeping your focus on your goal and moving consistently toward it. And finally, plan regular times to review your progress and to make any necessary corrections. Remember, the most important thing is to make sure our plans are in agreement with God s plans, because
The LORD will
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accomplish what concerns me; Your loving kindness, O LORD, is everlasting; Do not forsake [abandon] the works of Your hands, [NASB]. We can make our own plans, but the LORD gives the right answer, [NLT]. Make plans by seeking advice; if you wage [go to] war, obtain guidance, [NIV]. What sorrow awaits My rebellious children, says the LORD. You make plans that are contrary to Mine. You make alliances not directed by My Spirit, thus piling up your sins, [NLT]. For I know the plans I have for you, declares the LORD, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future, Jeremiah 29:11 [NIV]. Come now, you who say Today or tomorrow we will go to such and such a city, and spend a year there and engage in business and make a profit. Yet you do not know what your life will be like tomorrow. You are just a vapor that appears for a little while and then vanishes away. Instead, you ought to say, the Lord wills, we will live and also do this or that. But as it is, you boast in your arrogance; all such boasting is evil. Therefore, to one who knows the right thing to do and does not do it, to him it is sin, -‐17 [NASB].
Why am I here? (What is my purpose in life?)
Everyone everywhere is looking for meaning and purpose in life. A man in China longs to know that his life matters just like an African student who is studying
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at an American university. No doubt you also want to make a difference in the world and find lasting satisfaction and purpose. Some people believe they will find purpose and satisfaction by becoming part of a group that will help them achieve their goals. Others feel that obtaining power, wealth, honor, or popularity will help them find fulfillment. Unfortunately, while many of our goals may be honorable, we can still feel empty and wonder, Isn t there more to life? even after we have achieved all that we thought would make us happy. Jesus knew that achieving our goals is no guarantee for ultimate fulfillment; He asked in Luke 9:25 [NLT]do you benefit if you gain the whole world but are
Finding purpose and meaning apart from God is impossible. Why? Because He created us. Just like an engineer designs a boat for the water or a car for the road, God designed us to fulfill the purpose for which He made us. Have you ever wondered what His purpose is for your life? A passage in the Bible identifies two primary purposes for our livesyour God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mindneighbor as yourself, 39 [NIV]. In this passage, God reveals that our greatest purpose is found in knowing and loving Him and in caring for others.
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Paul, one of the first followers of Jesus, described this kind of love that comes from God in his writings: Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every
faith, hope, and love 1 Corinthians 13:4-‐7, 13 [NLT]. When we live a life of love for God and others, we please God and our love demonstrates His character to others. But, as you re probably thinking, we have a problem. We re often self-‐centered, and at those times, we don t love God and others as we ve been designed to do. Does that mean we have to live life without satisfaction and meaning? Not at all. God provided a way for us to become more and more like Him and to love the way He loves-‐-‐through a transforming relationship with His Son, Jesus. How can I live a meaningful and purposeful life? Thinking about what you believe brings true meaning and purpose in life. Have your beliefs and efforts provided true meaning and purpose in your life so far? If so, how can or should you continue to live your life according to those beliefs and actions? If not, what concepts and ideas do you think might provide better answers to your questions and better results for your efforts? Identify how you can explore and test these concepts in your daily life. Evaluate regularly whether
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your beliefs and assumptions are effectively answering your questions and bringing purpose and meaning to your life. If they aren t, consider what people and resources could help you discover how to experience true meaning and purpose in life. Most importantly, consider what God says about what leads to true meaning and purpose in life. Life is too short to leave your present life and future destiny simply to chance. In the way of righteousness is life, And in its pathway there is no death, [NASB].
protection from harm, [NLT]. I cry out to God Most High, to God, who fulfills his purpose for me, [NIV]. I know that everything God does will endure for ever; nothing can be added to it and nothing taken from it. God does it so that men will revere him, Ecclesiastes 3:14 [NIV].
You restore my health and allow me to live, Isaiah 38:16 [NLT].
of the world; he who follows Me will not walk in the darkness, but will have the Light of life, John 8:12 [NASB].
death. But letting the Spirit control your mind leads to
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life and peace, [NLT]. How/where can I continue to learn about God and faith? You can continue to learn about God and faith by reading the Bible. This will be your most important source for information that is true and trustworthy. You may also supplement your reading with books or materials written by Christian authors. Internet sources can give you a great deal of information. First, God s Word (the Bible) is the first place we should go to learn more about Him and about a life of faith: Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and YOU WILL FIND REST FOR YOUR SOULS, Matthew 11:29 [NASB]. The LORD your God will delight in you if you obey His voice and keep the commands and decrees written in this Book of Instruction, and if you turn to the LORD your God with all your heart and soul, Deuteronomy 30:10 [NLT]. Do not let this Book of the Law depart from your mouth; meditate on it day and night, so that you may be careful to do everything written in it. Then you will be prosperous and successful, Joshua 1:8 [NASB]. You can also continue to learn about God and faith with others. Find other Christians, whether at a local church, or place of fellowship, a place where a group of Christians might meet regularly for Bible study, prayer and encouragement.
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The following web sites provide additional resources to help in your search for God s truth and how to deepen your relationship with Him:
www.isireturnees.org www.internationalstudents.org www.allaboutGod.com www.ChinaSource.org http://bible.org/
What does it mean to be a follower (disciple) of Jesus Christ?
To be a true follower or disciple of Jesus Christ means to adopt a lifestyle of surrender and obedience to Him and His way. It is for the purpose of becoming more like Jesus (transforming the way we think, act and live. Disciples of Christ desire to lead others to Him and the life He wants to give them. This is a life-‐long process. And He was saying to them all, If anyone wishes to come after Me, he must deny himself, and take up his cross daily and follow Me, Luke 9:23 [NASB]. else by comparison your father and mother, wife and children, brothers and sisters yes, even your own life. Otherwise, you cannot be my disciple, Luke 14:26 [NLT]. Jesus said, Truly I say to you, there is no one who has left house or brothers or sisters or mother or father or children or farms, for My sake and for the gospel s sake, but that he will receive a hundred times as much now in
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the present age, houses and brothers and sisters and mothers and children and farms, along with persecutions; and in the age to come, eternal life, Mark 10:29-‐30 [NASB]. Therefore, go and make disciples of all the nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you, and surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age, Matthew 28:19-‐20 [NIV].
What does the Bible say about maintaining a consistent Christian walk? (spiritual disciplines, etc.)
You don t have to get too far into the Christian journey to discover that it s not a sprint to the finish line, but rather a marathon that requires endurance. The adrenaline and excitement of the first mile or two make you think you can keep up this pace forever. But pretty soon you find yourself out on the open road, where the temptation to quit is always a footstep away. The streets aren t lined with cheering friends, and the goal of this Christian life seems a million kilometers away if it s really even there at all. So what keeps you going when you ve run out of reasons? First, you surrender your will into God s hands. It s a great mystery of the Christian faith and an incredible insight into the nature of God that even after you yield your heart to Him for salvation He allows you to retain your free will. Along the path of Christian living you ll come to many forks in the road that will test you. You ll face choices such as whether to give in to an old familiar sin, or to let God show you how to escape from your
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temptations (1 Corinthians 10:18); whether to demand your own rights, or to be humble and consider others more important than yourself (Philippians 2:3); whether to secretly burn with a desire for recognition, or when you eat or drink or do anything else, always do it to honor God (1 Corinthians 10:31). Self-‐will is a difficult challenge to overcome. It is only concerned with the temporary. So when you re thirsty, it will scream for water. When your legs get tired, it will cry for rest. But when you allow God to be in charge, you will find lasting peace and the wisdom and strength you need to continue to the end and bring Him honor. Second, never let your failures keep you down. Sometimes when we fail as a follower of Jesus Christ we may feel unworthy and be tempted to quit the Christian life. Simon Peter, one of Christ s original twelve disciples, is a perfect example of that. One time he tried walking on water, like Jesus did, but almost drowned because of his fear and lack of faith. Another time he told Jesus that he d gladly die for Him, only to deny Jesus and act like he d never heard of Him a few hours later. But Jesus did not give up on him. Instead, He gave Peter another chance. And later, Peter was the man God used to tell a large crowd of people about God s plan, and 3,000 people became followers of Jesus Christ that day. God saw something in Peter no one else saw. So don t give up when you fail. Acknowledge your failure to God and ask Him to help you finish well. He wants to, and He will. Third, keep your eyes on the final prize. Remember, the Christian life is not a 100-‐meter dash, but a marathon instead. That s why the Bible tells us we must count the cost when we decide to follow Jesus (Luke
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14:28). However, we have God s promises to encourage us in the race, and we have His Holy Spirit to help us. So keep on running for the prize (Philippians 3:12). The farmer plants seed by taking God s word to others. The seed that fell on the footpath represents those who hear the message, only to have Satan come at once and take it away. The seed on the rocky soil represents those who hear the message and immediately receive it with joy. But since they don t have deep roots, they don t last long. They fall away as soon as they have problems or are persecuted for believing God s word. The seed that fell among the thorns represents others who hear God s word, but all too quickly the message is crowded out by the worries of this life, the lure of wealth, and the desire for other things, so no fruit is produced, Mark 4:14-‐19 [NLT].
How do I maintain a consistent Christian walk when my family and friends oppose it?
This is a difficult situation, which can make us very discouraged and even cause us to want to quit the Christian life. Fortunately, Jesus understood this would happen (He himself experienced it) and gave us words of encouragement and perspective for these times. Whatever we suffer in this life as a follower of Jesus Christ cannot compare with the joy and rewards we will experience in heaven for all eternity! Others, like seed sown on rocky places, hear the word and at once receive it with joy. But since they have no root, they last only a short time. When trouble or persecution comes because of the word, they quickly fall away, Mark 4:16-‐17 [NIV].
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And everyone who has left houses or brothers or sisters or father or mother or children or farms for My name s sake, will receive many times as much, and will inherit eternal life, Matthew 19:29 [NASB]. These things I have spoken to you, so that in Me you may have peace. In the world you have tribulation [troubles], but take courage; I have overcome the world, John 16:33 [NASB].
How do I maintain a consistent Christian walk when demands from work and home don t leave time for it, or if I m forced to work on Sundays and can t attend church?
Wang, a returnee in Shanghai, shared, There is a very interesting thing we do in China. Every day I receive a text message from an elder sister in our church about, for example, some words from the Bible or some beautiful sentence from a Bible study book. This is unique to China; I did not see anyone do this in America. Even though these are very short texts, I think they are helpful. I think our Christian life is very similar to [the town in which he lived in the U.S.] because in the local church here, we also have every day regular activities. They provide many activities you can do based on your available time. So for myself, I take part in the Wednesday night meeting, and my wife takes part in a sister s Thursday morning meeting. Besides these, there are many other activities in the church. These activities are very important. They give you many opportunities to get yourself involved in the church life so you can be taken care of all the time.
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When your job requires you to work on a Sunday, then look for other church services or activities in which you can participate when you are off. Find some Christians that you can contact during the week for encourage-‐ment and prayer. Perhaps you can start a group that encourages each other by using technology (email, internet, etc.) to share a meaningful Bible verse and encouraging thought. Let us hold tightly without wavering to the hope we affirm, for God can be trusted to keep His promise. Let us think of ways to motivate one another to acts of love and good works. And let us not neglect our meeting together, as some people do, but encourage one another, especially now that the day of His return is drawing near, Hebrews 10:23-‐25 [NLT]. Still others, like seed sown among thorns, hear the word, but the worries of this life, the deceitfulness of wealth and the desires for other things come in and choke the word, making it unfruitful, Mark 4:18-‐19 [NIV].
my disciple, you must hate everyone else by comparison your father and mother, wife and children, brothers and sisters yes, even your own life. Otherwise, you cannot be my disciple, Luke 14:26 [NLT].
What does the Bible say about our need for Christian fellowship, support and encouragement with other believers in our church and community?
Tu, a returnee, was surprised that she would have difficulty finding fellowship. She said, To be frank,
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when I returned I did not think that much about things related to my belief. I just thought it was a very personal
t realize how much I needed church. I just thought if I read the Bible daily, that is enough. For quite some time, I just felt I was so far away from God and I felt I had my own problems. That s how I felt when I came back to Hong Kong. Now it is different. I had an ISI staff member s email, but when I got back, I didn t contact her. It is
class, and I talked to the professor, and he asked me if I had a church to go to. I said, No, and he said, Why don t you go to my church? And I got someone to go with me, and I started going to church again. I was very happy to see [the ISI staff members] there. I was very excited. The Bible says that we are to encourage each other always: Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing, 1Thessalonians 5:11 [NIV].
We are to encourage each other so that we do not become disobedient and rebellious against God and His way: See to it, brothers, that none of you has a sinful, unbelieving heart that turns away from the living God. But encourage one another daily, as long as it is called
s deceitfulness, Hebrews 3:12-‐13 [NIV].
We are to meet regularly with other Christians to encourage one another: Let us hold tightly without wavering to the hope we affirm, for God can be trusted to keep His promise. Let us think of ways to motivate one another to acts of love and good works. And let us
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not neglect our meeting together, as some people do, but encourage one another, especially now that the day of His return is drawing near, Hebrews 10:23-‐25 [NLT]. In some cases, it is hard to find a small group or individualized attention. Pray earnestly for God to lead you to a good fellowship and stay in touch with your ISI friendship partner who may help you to get in touch with other returnee believers.
What does the Bible say about how I should respond to rejection from my family or friends for being a Christian?
First, the Bible says that as true followers of Jesus Christ we should expect to be rejected and persecuted by people who hate Him (just as Jesus was). The Bible also says that we must pray for these people, be good to them, love them and even bless them. Many nonbelievers have become followers of Jesus Christ because of the patient and loving behavior of a Christian.
Indeed, all who desire to live godly in Christ Jesus will be persecuted, 2 Timothy 3:12 [NASB].
But I say to you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, so that you may be sons of your Father who is in heaven; for He causes His sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous. For if you love those who love you, what reward do you have? Do not even the tax collectors do the same? If you greet only your brothers, what more are you doing than others? Do not even the Gentiles do the same? Therefore you are to be perfect,
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as your heavenly Father is perfect, Matthew 5:44-‐48 [NASB].
But I tell you who hear me: Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you, Luke 6:27-‐28 [NASB].
God blesses those who patiently endure testing and temptation. Afterward they will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love Him, James 1:12 [NLT].
What does the Bible say about prayer in the Christian life?
The Bible has much to say to us about prayer. For instance, it says that prayer is an essential part of the Christian life, and that we should pray without ceasing. It also says that God does not respond to our prayers if we are keeping sin in our hearts, but that if we confess and turn from our sin, God hears and forgives us. If I had cherished sin in my heart, the Lord would not have listened; but God has surely listened and heard my voice in prayer. Praise be to God, who has not rejected my prayer or withheld his love from me, Psalm 66:18-‐20 [NIV]. If we claim we have no sin, we are only fooling ourselves and not living in the truth. But if we confess our sins to Him, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all wickedness, 1 John 1:8-‐9 [NLT].
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Rejoice always; pray without ceasing; in everything ,
1 Thessalonians 5:16-‐18 [NASB]. Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God, Philippians 4:6 [NIV]. Devote yourselves to prayer, keeping alert in it with an attitude of thanksgiving, Colossians 4:2 [NASB]. The end of the world is coming soon. Therefore, be earnest and disciplined in your prayers, 1 Peter 4:7 [NLT].
How can I pray more effectively?
The Bible gives us some very helpful advice about how we should pray to God. First, we must believe that God exists, and that He answers those who come to Him. It also tells us that God is does not respond to insincere, wordy prayers, or to prayers that are said to impress others. In fact, Jesus even gave us an example, or pattern, for our prayers, including the inner attitudes we should have and the issues we should pray about. And without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to him must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who earnestly seek him, Hebrews 11:6 [NIV]. When you pray, don t be like the hypocrites who love to pray publicly on street corners and in the synagogues where everyone can see them. I tell you the truth, that is all the reward they will ever get. But when you pray, go
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away by yourself, shut the door behind you, and pray to your Father in private. Then your Father, who sees everything, will reward you.
When you pray, don t babble on and on as people of other religions do. They think their prayers are answered merely by repeating their words again and again. Don t be like them, for your Father knows exactly what you need even before you ask Him! Pray like this:
Our Father in heaven, may your name be kept holy. May your Kingdom come soon. May your will be done on earth, as it is in heaven. Give us today the food we need, and forgive us our sins, as we have forgiven those who sin against us. And don t let us yield to temptation, but rescue us from the evil one, Matthew 6:5-‐13 [NLT].
If you believe, you will receive whatever you ask for in prayer, Matthew 21:22 [NIV]. In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groans that words cannot express, Romans 8:26 [NIV].
How can I understand the Bible better, and how does it relate to my life?
First, ask God (in prayer) to give you understanding when you read the Bible. Then, when you read it, ask
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yourself, What does it say? What does it really mean? and How will I obey this truth? Note that if we will not obey the truth God has given us, He will not give us more truth. If you need wisdom, ask our generous God, and He will give it to you. He will not rebuke you for asking. But when you ask Him, be sure that your faith is in God alone. Do not waver, for a person with divided loyalty is as unsettled as a wave of the sea that is blown and tossed by the wind. Such people should not expect to receive anything from the Lord. Their loyalty is divided between God and the world, and they are unstable in everything they do, James 1:5-‐8 [NLT]. And finally, God calls us to be doers of the word (obedient). But don t just listen to God s word. You must do what it says. Otherwise, you are only fooling yourselves. For if you listen to the word and don t obey, it is like glancing at your face in a mirror. You see yourself, walk away, and forget what you look like. But if you look carefully into the perfect law that sets you free, and if you do what it says and don t forget what you heard, then God will bless you for doing it, James 1:22-‐25 [NLT]. Following are links to Bible reading schedules: http://www.zondervan.com/Cultures/en-‐US/Product/Bible/Plans.htm?QueryStringSite=Zondervan
http://www.bibleplan.org/ http://www.biblegateway.com/resources/
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readingplans/ http://www.youversion.com/about/reading-‐plans&Itemid=215
http://www.navpress.com/dj/content.aspx?id=138
What does the Bible say about the presence and power of temptation in my life (worldly pleasures, drinking, illicit relationships, etc.)?
You are not alone in your fight against temptation others have experienced the same temptations we have, even Jesus and God is committed to helping us resist temptation:
No temptation has overtaken you but such as is common to man; and God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation will provide the way of escape also, so that you will be able to endure it, 1 Corinthians 10:13 [NASB]. God is committed to rescuing His people out of temptation: So you see, the Lord knows how to rescue godly people from their trials, even while keeping the wicked under punishment until the day of final judgment, 2 Peter 2:9 [NLT]. Jesus will help us resist temptation: For since He Himself [Jesus] was tempted in that which He has suffered, He is able to come to the aid of those who are tempted, Hebrews 2:18 [NASB].
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Jesus understands our struggle with temptation: For we do not have a high priest who cannot sympathize with our weaknesses, but One who has been tempted in all things as we are, yet without sin, Hebrews 4:15 [NASB]. God does not tempt anyone, our desires, the world, and Satan do. So, ask God to help you recognize and resist temptation: Blessed is the man who perseveres under trial, because when he has stood the test, he will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love him. When tempted, no-‐one should say, God is tempting me. For God cannot be tempted by evil, nor does he tempt anyone, James 1:12-‐13 [NIV]. Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you, James 4:7[NIV]. We must be watchful and stay away from the places or influences of temptation, resisting the sins of immorality, idolatry, love of money, and youthful lusts: Run from sexual sin! No other sin so clearly affects the body as this one does. For sexual immorality is a sin against your own body, 1 Corinthians 6:18 [NLT]. So, my beloved, flee from idolatry, 1 Corinthians 10:14 [NIV]. But you, Timothy, are a man of God; so run from all these evil things. Pursue righteousness and a godly life, along with faith, love, perseverance, and gentleness, 1 Timothy 6:11 [NLT].
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Now flee from youthful lusts and pursue righteousness, faith, love and peace, with those who call on the Lord from a pure heart, 2 Timothy 2:22 [NASB].
How soon should I get involved in ministry at church after returning to my home country?
First of all, it s important to allow yourself time to adjust to your daily life back home. Establish strong and healthy fellowship and community in your chosen church first. Then determine if you agree with the teachings of the church and that you can trust and work under the leadership. Pray and ask God to show you if this is where He wants you to be and serve.
How can I grow in my faith if I am in an isolated area (without church or Christian friends)?
If possible, connect with other Christian returnees online. Use the idea presented by the returnee whose community of believers would send each other encouraging texts with verses from the Bible or sentences from Bible studies. Start a community of seekers and believers (see ISI s M:28 Disciple-‐Maker program) And remember, God will be with you! And I will ask the Father, and He will give you another Advocate, who will never leave you. He is the Holy Spirit, who leads into all truth. The world cannot receive Him, because it isn t looking for Him and doesn t recognize Him. But you know Him, because He lives with you now and later will be in you, John 14:16-‐17, 18 [NLT].
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Your faith can grow even when you are alone: The LORD is my shepherd, I shall not want. He makes me lie down in green pastures; He leads me beside quiet waters. He restores my soul; He guides me in the paths of
through the valley of the shadow of death, I fear no evil, for You are with me; Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me. You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies; You have anointed my head with oil; My cup overflows. Surely goodness and loving kindness will follow me all the days of my life, And I will dwell in the house of the LORD forever, Psalm 23 [NASB].
Look for opportunities to share God s truth: But I will remain in Ephesus until Pentecost; for a wide door for effective service has opened to me, and there are many adversaries 1 Corinthians 16:8-‐9 [NASB]. Start a community of truth-‐seekers. Two disciples did this even while imprisoned: Around midnight Paul and Silas were praying and singing hymns to God, and the other prisoners were listening. Suddenly, there was a massive earthquake, and the prison was shaken to its foundations. All the doors immediately flew open, and the chains of every prisoner fell off! The jailer woke up to see the prison doors wide open. He assumed the prisoners had escaped, so he drew his sword to kill himself. But Paul shouted to him, Stop! Don t kill yourself! We are all here.
The jailer called for lights and ran to the dungeon and fell down trembling before Paul and Silas. Then he brought them out and asked, Sirs, what must I do to be saved?
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They replied, Believe in the Lord Jesus and you will be saved, along with everyone in your household. And they shared the word of the Lord with him and with all who lived in his household. Even at that hour of the night, the jailer cared for them and washed their wounds. Then he and everyone in his household were immediately baptized Acts 16:25-‐33 [NLT].
How and where can I find spiritual encouragement, discipleship or mentoring if my church does not provide this?
You can continue to receive spiritual encouragement from your friends at ISI (via Skype or email). There are many resources online that offer teaching and encouragement. For an example, see the following websites: www.isireturnees.org www.internationalstudents.org www.AllAboutGod.com
What should I do if I am not growing spiritually at my current church?
First, ask God if something in your own perspective and attitude needs to change. Try to find a mature Christian in your church who could spiritually mentor you. Try to find resources outside of your church to help you grow spiritually. If these don t help, ask God to show you if you should find and join a different church. Xiao-‐niao, a returnee mentioned earlier, described her
.S. church
which could be inspiring, fascinating in addition to
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churches, so I grouped up with several Christian friends
What does the Bible say about sharing my faith with family, friends and colleagues?
We should always be ready (looking for the oppor-‐tunity) to share the message of life and hope that we have found. We should first listen for their spiritual or life questions. They will want to know the reason for the hope they see in you. We should always maintain Christ-‐like attitude and behavior. This means being friendly, helpful, caring, and encouraging, When we share, we should do so with gentleness and respect. Jesus showed us the way:
d illustrations to teach the people as much as they could understand, Mark 4:33 [NLT]. And beginning with Moses and all the Prophets, he explained to them what was said in all the Scriptures concerning himself, Luke 24:27 [NIV]. Share God s truth through real life stories (or parables): All these things Jesus spoke to the crowds in parables, and He did not speak to them without a parable, Matthew 13:34 [NASB].
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Again he said, What shall we say the kingdom of God is like, or what parable shall we use to describe it?" Mark 4:30 [NASB].
You are permitted to understand the secrets of the Kingdom of God. But I use parables to teach the others so that the Scriptures might be fulfilled: When they look, they won t really see. When they hear, they won t understand. This is the meaning of the parable: The seed is God s word, Luke 8:10-‐11 [NLT]. Encourage obedience to God s truth: Others, like seed sown on good soil, hear the word, accept it, and produce a crop thirty, sixty or even a hundred times what was
Mark 4:20 [NIV]. But the one who received the seed that fell on good soil is the man who hears the word and understands it. He produces a crop, yielding a hundred, sixty or thirty
Matthew 13:23 [NIV]. Here is a plan for sharing God s message and leading others to Christ: First, start with prayer. Pray for them and with them when appropriate. This introduces them to the presence and work of God. Second, care for them. Care for their needs, concerns, and challenges. People don t care how much we know until they know how much we care. Third, share with them. Share your own story. Share with them how God s truth, the Bible, is speaking to you. Share how God is answering prayer in your life. Share
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how God is changing your life (your ambitions, attitudes, actions). Then share His Story. God s original design or plan was to bless each of us with His presence, His purpose, His peace, His protection, His provision. But, our rebellion, shown through our ignorance about God, our indifference toward Him, or our rebellion against Him had caused a separation between us and God. Thankfully, God s solution to our separation problem was to send His Son Jesus Christ to pay for our rebellion (sin) and to give us His life. Our response is to receive God s message and solution, surrender our lives to Him, and follow Him His way. Help them make it their story. Ask clarification questions; do they truly understand what their decision means? Listen for their heart response. Encourage their walk of faith by: reading God s word daily, praying regularly, having fellowship with other believers, sharing their faith with others, and serving other people. Dong, a returnee from Taiwan, described his struggle
I would say the main problem I
although my parents in Taiwan believe in Buddhism and Daoism for their whole life, and my mother-‐in-‐law in Shanghai is influenced by the communism and
about faith at all. All they care is about the prosperity while still living. As we all [have]
unless we practice our word and live like what we believe. Therefore, I reflect myself and change my behavior and attitude a lot. I believe they will accept Jesus Christ one day through my prayers for them and
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Dong to the returnees: No rush. Pray for your beloved ones and c
What does the Bible say should be my perspective on work and career?
The Bible says that we are to work in order to provide for our needs: One who is slack in his work is brother to one who destroys Proverbs 18:9 [NIV].
their hands refuse to work, Proverbs 21:25 [NLT]. Make it your ambition to lead a quiet life, to mind your own business and to work with your hands, just as we told you, so that your daily life may win the respect of outsiders and so that you will not be dependent on anybody 1 Thessalonians 4:11-‐12 [NIV]. For even when we were with you, we used to give you this order: if anyone is not willing to work, then he is not to eat, either. For we hear that some among you are leading an undisciplined life, doing no work at all, but acting like busybodies. Now such persons we command and exhort in the Lord Jesus Christ to work in quiet fashion and eat their own bread 2 Thessalonians 3:10-‐12 [NASB]. The Bible also says that we are to work in order to provide for the needs of those for which we are responsible: forget to bring in a bundle of grain from your field, don t go back to get it. Leave it for the foreigners, orphans,
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and widows. Then the LORD your God will bless you in Deuteronomy 24:19 [NLT].
But if anyone does not provide for his own, and especially for those of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever 1 Timothy 5:8 [NASB]. We also work so that we are able to invest in and contribute to God s kingdom work, and we do our work for God rather than men, diligently and with a good attitude: Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men Colossians 3:23 [NIV]. When we work with integrity and skill we will be recognized and sought out: competent workers? They will serve kings rather than
Proverbs 22:29 [NLT]. However, we must take care that we follow God s example in our work, which is to work 6 days and rest the 7th: By the seventh day God completed His work which He had done, and He rested on the seventh day from all His work which He had done. Then God blessed the seventh day and sanctified it, because in it He rested from all His work which God had created and made Genesis 2:2-‐3 [NASB]. but the seventh day is a Sabbath day of rest dedicated to the LORD your God. On that day no one in your household may do any work. This includes you, your sons and daughters, your male and female servants,
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Exodus 20:9-‐10 [NLT]. Ultimately, God will evaluate and compensate the work of every person: t excuse yourself by saying, Look, we didn t know. For God understands all hearts, and He sees you. He who guards your soul knows you
Proverbs 24:12 [NLT]. We must remember also, that our work will never be able to save us and guarantee our eternal destiny, only faith in God can do that: righteous, not because of their work, but because of their faith in God who forgives sinn Romans 4:5 NLT]. Finally, our perspective and motivation about work should not only be about our physical and material needs but, more importantly about our spiritual life and eternal destiny: t be so concerned about perishable things like food. Spend your energy seeking the eternal life that the Son of Man can give you. For God the Father has given me the seal of His John 6:27 [NLT].
What does the Bible say about overcoming my fear of people (their reaction, rejection, ridicule) who do not believe in God and His way?
The Bible says that all who want to follow Jesus will be persecuted: Dear friends, do not be surprised at the painful trial you are suffering, as though something strange were happening to you. But rejoice that you participate in the sufferings of Christ, so that you may
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be overjoyed when his glory is revealed, 1 Peter 4:12-‐13 [NIV]. Indeed, all who desire to live godly in Christ Jesus will be persecuted, 2 Timothy 3:12 [NASB]. We should pray for those who persecute and mistreat us: But I say to you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute Matthew 5:44 [NASB]. But I say to you who hear, love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you, Luke 6:27-‐28 [NASB]. The Bible says we should not fear those who reject, ridicule or criticize us: Listen to me, you who know right from wrong, you who cherish my law in your hearts. Do not be afraid of people s scorn, nor fear their insults, Isaiah 51:7 [NLT]. Never forget that God is with you! Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I fear no evil, for You are with me; Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me, Psalm 23:4 [NASB]. Do not fear, for I am with you; Do not anxiously look about you, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, surely I will help you, Surely I will uphold you with My righteous right hand. . For I am the LORD your God, who upholds your right hand, Who says to you, Do not fear, I will help you, Isaiah 41:10, 13 [NASB]. You will be blessed! If you are insulted because of the name of Christ, you are blessed, for the Spirit of glory and of God rests on you, 1 Peter 4:14 [NIV].
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This experience will make you stronger: Consider it all joy, my brethren, when you encounter various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces endurance. And let endurance have its perfect result, so that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing, James 1:2-‐4 [NASB]. Ask God for opportunities to share His truth: Devote yourselves to prayer, keeping alert in it with an attitude of thanksgiving; praying at the same time for us as well, that God will open up to us a door for the word, so that we may speak forth the mystery of Christ, for which I have also been imprisoned; that I may make it clear in the way I ought to speak, Colossians 4:2-‐4 [NASB]. Use these opportunities to point people to God: Make sure that none of you suffers as a murderer, or thief, or evildoer, or a troublesome meddler; but if anyone suffers as a Christian, he is not to be ashamed, but is to glorify God in this name, 1 Peter 4:15-‐16 [NASB]. Others will hear God s truth and believe: Always remember that Jesus Christ, a descendant of King David, was raised from the dead. This is the Good News I preach. And because I preach this Good News, I am suffering and have been chained like a criminal. But the word of God cannot be chained. So I am willing to endure anything if it will bring salvation and eternal glory in Christ Jesus to those God has chosen, 2 Timothy 2:8-‐10 [NLT].
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How should I respond to police supervision or investigation of my Christian activities?
Pray for those who are in authority over you: I urge, then, first of all, that requests, prayers, intercession and thanksgiving be made for everyone for kings and all those in authority, that we may live peaceful and quiet lives in all godliness and holiness. This is good, and pleases God our Savior, 1 Timothy 2:1-‐3 [NIV]. Remain respectful, humble, and truthful: Therefore I, the prisoner of the Lord, implore you to walk in a manner worthy of the calling with which you have been called, with all humility and gentleness, with patience, showing tolerance for one another in love, being diligent to preserve the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace, Ephesians 4:1-‐3 [NASB]. So, as those who have been chosen of God, holy and beloved, put on a heart of compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience, Colossians 3:12 [NASB].
Be careful to live properly among your unbelieving neighbors. Then even if they accuse you of doing wrong, they will see your honorable behavior, and they will give honor to God when He called you to do good, even if it means suffering, just as Christ suffered for you. He is your example, and you must follow in His steps. He never sinned, nor ever deceived anyone. He did not retaliate when He was insulted, nor threaten revenge when He suffered. He left His case in the hands of God, who always judges fairly, 1 Peter 2:12, 21-‐23 [NLT].
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Communicate your primary desires are to worship God, obey your authorities, help others, and live peaceably: Let everyone be subject to the governing authorities, for there is no authority except that which God has established. The authorities that exist have been established by God. Consequently, whoever rebels against the authority is rebelling against what God has instituted, and those who do so will bring judgment on themselves. For rulers hold no terror for those who do right, but for those who do wrong. Do you want to be free from fear of the one in authority? Then do what is right and you will be commended. For the one in
wrong, be afraid, for rulers do not bear the sword for no
bring punishment on the wrongdoer. Therefore, it is necessary to submit to the authorities, not only because of possible punishment but also as a matter of conscience, Romans 13:1-‐5 [NIV]. [Pray] for kings and all who are in authority, so that we may lead a tranquil and quiet life in all godliness and dignity, 1Timothy 2:2 [NASB]. Submit sake to every human institution, whether to a king as the one in authority or to governors as sent by him for the punishment of evildoers and the praise of those who do right. For such is the will of God that by doing right you may silence the ignorance of foolish men. Act as free men, and do not use your freedom as a covering for evil, but use it as bondslaves [or servants] of God. Honor all people, love the brotherhood, fear God, honor the king. 1 Peter 2:13-‐17 [NASB].
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Trust God to give you the right words to say: When you are brought before synagogues, rulers and authorities, do not worry about how you will defend yourselves or what you will say, for the Holy Spirit will
Luke 12:11-‐12 [NIV].
What does the Bible say about baptism, and why it is important?
It is the first public step of obedience to God after conversion: Peter said to them, Repent, and each of you be baptized in the name of Jesus Christ for the forgiveness of your sins; and you will receive the gift of the Holy Spirit, Acts 2:38 [NASB]. And now what are you waiting for? Get up, be baptized and wash your sins away, calling on his name, Acts 22:16 [NIV]. Baptism is an outward sign of our decision to follow and obey Jesus Christ: Whoever believes and is baptized will be saved, but whoever does not believe will be condemned, Mark 16:16 [NIV]. And that water is a picture of baptism, which now saves you, not by removing dirt from your body, but as a response to God from a clean conscience. It is effective because of the resurrection of Jesus Christ, 1 Peter 3:21 [NLT]. It is a symbol of our faith in the death, burial and resurrection of Jesus Christ to save us from our sin and give us eternal life: For we died and were buried with Christ by baptism. And just as Christ was raised from
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the dead by the glorious power of the Father, now we also may live new lives, Romans 6:4 [NLT]. And he ordered them to be baptized in the name of Jesus Christ. Then they asked him to stay on for a few days, Acts 10:48 [NASB]. For you were buried with Christ when you were baptized. And with Him you were raised to new life because you trusted the mighty power of God, who raised Christ from the dead, Colossians 2:12 [NLT].
What does the Bible say about tithing (giving money for God s work in the church and beyond the church)?
It is commanded by God: Will a man rob God? Yet you are robbing Me! But you say, How have we robbed You? In tithes and offerings, Malachi 3:8 [NASB].
A tithe [a tenth] of everything from the land, whether grain from the soil or fruit from the trees, belongs to the LORD; it is holy to the LORD, Leviticus 27:30 [NIV].
It reminds us that God is our provider, and helps us maintain a heart of surrender and gratitude: Be sure to set aside a tenth of all that your fields produce each year. Eat the tithe of your grain, new wine and oil, and the firstborn of your herds and flocks in the presence of the LORD your God at the place he will choose as a dwelling for his Name, so that you may learn to revere the LORD your God always, Deuteronomy 14:22-‐23 [NIV]. It brings God s blessings in our lives: Bring the whole tithe into the storehouse, so that there may be
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food in My house, and test Me now in this, says the LORD of hosts, if I will not open for you the windows of heaven and pour out for you a blessing until it overflows, Malachi 3:10 [NASB]. Tithing provides resources for accomplishing God s work in the church and around the world: As for the tribe of Levi, your relatives, I will compensate them for their service in the Tabernacle. Instead of an allotment of land, I will give them the tithes from the entire land of Israel, Numbers 18:21 [NLT].
told the Galatian churches to do. On the first day of every week, each one of you should set aside a sum of money in keeping with his income, saving it up, so that when I come no collections will have to be made. Then, when I arrive, I will give letters of introduction to the men you approve and send them with your gift to Jerusalem, 1 Corinthians 16:1-‐3 [NIV]. Our tithing should be an expression of our love and obedience to God, never to buy His favor or power: Then they began laying their hands on them, and they were receiving the Holy Spirit. Now when Simon saw that the Spirit was bestowed through the laying on of the apostles hands, he offered them money saying, Give this authority to me as well, so that everyone on whom I lay my hands may receive the Holy Spirit. But Peter said to him, May your silver perish with you, because you thought you could obtain the gift of God with money. You have no part or portion in this matter, for your heart is not right before God, Acts 8:17-‐21 [NASB].
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What does the Bible say about other religions and how I should relate to them (e.g., Buddhism, Islam, etc.)?
We are to have and serve no other gods apart from the one true God, creator of heaven and earth: Then God gave the people all these instructions: I am the LORD your God, who rescued you from the land of Egypt, the place of your slavery. You must not have any other god but me. You must not make for yourself an idol of any kind or an image of anything in the heavens or on the earth or in the sea. You must not bow down to them or worship them, for I, the LORD your God, am a jealous God who will not tolerate your affection for any other gods. I lay the sins of the parents upon their children; the entire family is affected even children in the third and fourth generations of those who reject me. But I lavish unfailing love for a thousand generations on those who love me and obey my commands, Exodus 20:1-‐6 [NLT]. If you ever forget the LORD your God and follow other gods and worship and bow down to them, I testify against you today that you will surely be destroyed, Deuteronomy 8:19 [NIV]. Now, therefore, fear the LORD and serve Him in sincerity and truth; and put away the gods which your fathers served beyond the River and in Egypt, and serve the LORD, Joshua 24:14 [NASB].
Jesus answered him, It is written, YOU SHALL WORSHIP THE LORD YOUR GOD AND SERVE HIM ONLY, Luke 4:8 [NASB].
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How do I deal with the differences between my church in China and the church in America?
Christians in America usually have greater freedom to worship. Unfortunately, they sometimes take these freedoms for granted and are not very serious about their faith. Christians in China generally do not have as much freedom to worship, so they are usually more serious about their faith. This provides Christians in America and in China an excellent opportunity to pray for each other. American Christians can pray that their brothers and sisters in China will be bold and courageous to live for God and share the good news of Jesus Christ. And Christians in China can pray that their brothers and sisters in Christ who live in America will not worship comfort and pleasure but will be faithful to God and to sharing the Gospel (good news) of Jesus Christ.
What does the Bible say about our reaction and response to authoritative or harsh leadership in the church?
We are to show and give respect to all those in authority and submit to our Christian leaders: Obey your leaders and submit to their authority. They keep watch over you as men who must give an account. Obey them so that their work will be a joy, not a burden, for that would be of no advantage to you, Hebrews 13:17 [NIV]. We are to pray for those in authority and leadership over us: First of all, then, I urge that entreaties and prayers, petitions and thanksgivings, be made on behalf of all men, for kings and all who are in authority, so that we may lead a tranquil and quiet life in all godliness and dignity, 1 Timothy 2:1-‐2 [NASB].
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Pray for us. We are sure that we have a clear conscience and desire to live honorably in every way, Hebrews 13:18 [NIV]. We are to appeal to those in authority and leadership over us with humility: Never speak harshly to an older man, but appeal to Him respectfully as you would to your own father. Talk to younger men as you would to your own brothers, 1 Timothy 5:1 [NLT].
What does the Bible say about spiritual warfare?
God, the God of life, created all things (including human beings and spiritual beings called angels). Angels were created by God to worship and serve God, and to assist God in accomplishing His plans throughout the universe. Satan was created as the most beautiful and powerful angel in heaven, the angel of music who led all the other angels in worshipping God. Satan became proud and envious of God, wanting to have what God had (including to be followed and worshipped), but that was not possible because only a perfect God deserves to be worshipped and followed. Satan s pride, envy, and anger became hatred and rebellion against God, so God had to throw Satan (and many other angels who chose to rebel with Satan) out of God s perfect heaven. Satan and his followers organized their own evil government on earth a government based on lies, fear, hatred and destruction. Since then, each of us is born into a world that is in spiritual conflict because of these two opposing spiritual governments God s government of love and life, and Satan s government of hatred and death. Because God created and loves all people Satan not only hates God but also hates all people. As a result,
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people now experience the hatred and destructive work of Satan and his followers (called demons) in their lives. This is called spiritual warfare. The intention and work of Satan and his followers (demons) in our lives is to deceive us, discourage us, divide us, and ultimately destroy us: He was a murderer from the beginning, and does not stand in the truth because there is no truth in him John 8:44 [NASB]. Be self-‐controlled and alert. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour, 1 Peter 5:8 [NIV]. What are some ways Satan and his demons confuse and attack people? One of the primary ways Satan and his followers work in people s lives is by promoting lies about God and about us. This creates confusion and fear in our minds and hearts (and causes us to doubt or fear God). In fact, the Bible says that Satan is the father (originator) of lies: Jesus told them, If God was your Father, you would love Me, because I have come to you from God. I am not here on My own, but He sent Me. Why can t you understand what I am saying? It s because you can t even hear Me! For you are the children of your father the devil, and you love to do the evil things he does. He was a murderer from the beginning. He has always hated the truth, because there is no truth in him. When he lies, it is consistent with his character; for he is a liar and the father of lies, John 8:42-‐44 [NLT]. Demons (evil spirits) may use fortunetelling (divination) and the practice of astrology to deceive
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people in order to get them to follow their way instead of God s truth: One day as we were going down to the place of prayer, we met a demon-‐possessed slave girl. She was a fortuneteller who earned a lot of money for her masters. She followed Paul and the rest of us, shouting, These men are servants of the Most High God, and they have come to tell you how to be saved. This went on day after day until Paul got so exasperated that he turned and said to the demon within her, I command you in the name of Jesus Christ to come out of her. And instantly it left her, Acts 16:16-‐18 [NLT]. This is what the LORD says: Do not act like the other nations, who try to read their future in the stars. Do not be afraid of their predictions, even though other nations are terrified by them, Jeremiah 10:2 [NLT]. Evil spirits also use idols to get worship from people and to control their lives and destinies: The rest of mankind, who were not killed by these plagues, did not repent of the works of their hands, so as not to worship demons, and the idols of gold and of silver and of brass and of stone and of wood, which can neither see nor hear nor walk, Revelation 9:20 [NASB]. Sometimes people experience intense confusion in their mind, or strange and evil thoughts this can be spiritual attack. Sometimes people feel an evil spiritual presence near them like an invisible person is watching them (especially at night or when they are around pagan idols or pagan temples). This creates fear, and confusion about God s love and His power.
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Satan and his demons also work to magnify people s anger and hatred (toward each other and toward God). They may also cause depression and despair (getting us to believe God does not care about us or cannot help us). They may even try to get people to destroy themselves (and others), by influencing them to put themselves in dangerous situations, or to physically hurt themselves and others (including through destructive behaviors or addictions), or even by influencing people to commit suicide or murder. And Satan entered into Judas who was called Iscariot, belonging to the number of the twelve. And he went away and discussed with the chief priests and officers how he might betray Him to them. They were glad and agreed to give him money, Luke 22:3-‐5 [NASB]. Do not fear what you are about to suffer. Behold, the devil is about to cast some of you into prison, so that you will be tested, and you will have tribulation [suffering] for ten days. Be faithful until death, and I will give you the crown of life, Revelation 2:10 [NASB]. Evil spirits can attack through sickness or disease (note, many diseases or sicknesses are not caused by demons but by biological disease agents): And He [Jesus] was teaching in one of the synagogues on the Sabbath. And there was a woman who for eighteen years had had a sickness caused by a spirit; and she was bent double, and could not straighten up at all. When Jesus saw her, He called her over and said to her, Woman, you are freed from your sickness. And He laid His hands on her; and immediately she was
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made erect again and began glorifying God, Luke 13:10-‐13 [NASB]. Evil spirits can attack by bringing physical harm to a person: A man in the crowd called out to Him, Teacher, I beg You to look at my son, my only child. An evil spirit keeps seizing him, making him scream. It throws him into convulsions so that he foams at the mouth. It batters him and hardly ever leaves him alonehim to the ground and threw him into a violent convulsion. But Jesus rebuked the evil spirit and healed the boy. Then He gave him back to his father, Luke 9:38-‐39, 42 [NLT]. We must never address or command evil spirits unless we are true followers of Jesus Christ and living in obedience to His truth: A group of Jews was traveling from town to town casting out evil spirits. They tried to use the name of the Lord Jesus in their incantation, saying, I command you in the name of Jesus, whom Paul preaches, to come out! Seven sons of Sceva, a leading priest, were doing this. But one time when they tried it, the evil spirit replied, I know Jesus, and I know Paul, but who are you? Then the man with the evil spirit leaped on them, overpowered them, and attacked them with such violence that they fled from the house, naked and battered. The story of what happened spread quickly all through Ephesus, to Jews and Greeks alike. A solemn fear descended on the city, and the name of the Lord Jesus was greatly honored, -‐17 [NLT].
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How can we win over spiritual warfare in our lives?
First, by choosing the way of God s Son, Jesus Christ, we become part of God s family (His children) and we experience His spiritual protection in our lives. As members of God s family, when we experience spiritual attack in our lives we have the privilege of praying to God for His special protection, and the authority to command the evil spirits to leave us alone because we belong to God. You are from God, little children, and have overcome them; because greater is He who is in you than he who is in the world, John 4:4 [NASB].
heaven, hallowed [holy] be your name, And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from the evil one, [for Yours is the kingdom and the power and the glory forever. Amen,] [NIV]. And He appointed twelve, so that they would be with Him and that He could send them out to preach and to have authority to cast out the demons, Mark 3:14-‐15 [NASB]. And He called the twelve together, and gave them power and authority over all the demons and to heal diseases, 9:1 [NASB]. And as you go, preach, saying, The kingdom of heaven is at hand. Heal the sick, raise the dead, cleanse the lepers, cast out demons. Freely you received, freely give, :7-‐8 [NASB].
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The seventy-‐two returned with joy and said, Lord, even the demons submit to us in your name. He replied, I saw Satan fall like lightning from heaven. I have given you authority to trample on snakes and scorpions and to overcome all the power of the enemy; nothing will harm you. However, do not rejoice that the spirits submit to you, but rejoice that your names are written in heaven, -‐20 [NIV].
Go into all the world and preach the Good News to everyone. Anyone who believes and is baptized will be saved. But anyone who refuses to believe will be condemned. These miraculous signs will accompany those who believe: They will cast out demons in My name, and they will speak in new languages. They will be able to handle snakes with safety, and if they drink anything poisonous, it won t hurt them. They will be able to place their hands on the sick, and they will be healed, -‐18 [NLT]. Sometimes we experience spiritual warfare because we are disobeying or rebelling against God and have walked away from His protection (this provides Satan and his demons the opportunity to attack us). We should immediately acknowledge our disobedience and rebellion against God, ask for His forgiveness, and return to following His way again.
When Simon saw that the Spirit was given at the laying and
said, Give me also this ability so that everyone on whom I lay my hands may receive the Holy Spirit. Peter answered: May your money perish with you, because you thought you could buy the gift of God with money! You have no part or share in this ministry,
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because your heart is not right before God. Repent of this wickedness and pray to the Lord in the hope that he may forgive you for having such a thought in your heart. For I see that you are full of bitterness and captive to sin, Acts 8:18-‐23 [NIV].
Is the religion of the Mormon true or false?
Many years before Jesus was born, God announced through His prophets that He would send a Savior to the world to save us from our sin. Jesus said that He was the Son of God the only Savior of the world and that He would die for our sin and three days later rise again from the dead, which He did. Jesus, the Son of God who came from heaven, said that the Bible is our ultimate source of truth and that any religion or worldview that changes or contradicts the Bible is false, and should not be followed. The Mormon religion was founded by a man named Joseph Smith, Jr., who says he had visions from an angel that led him to buried golden plates with spiritual writings on them. Joseph Smith, Jr., wrote and taught about what he read on the golden plates. He said that the revelation he received from the angel and on the plates was superior to the revelation of the Bible. Smith s writings, and those of his followers, have been put into a book called the Book of Mormon. The religion of Mormon teaches some things that are in the Bible, but also many things that are not in the Bible, some of which contradict the Bible therefore, the Mormon religion is a false religion and should not be followed.
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Jesus said to him, I am the way, and the truth, and the life; no one comes to the Father but through Me, John 14:6 [NASB]. For there is one God and one mediator between God and men, the man Christ Jesus, Timothy 2:5 [NASB]. For Jesus is the one referred to in the Scriptures, where it says, The stone that you builders rejected has now become the cornerstone. There is salvation in no one else! God has given no other name under heaven by which we must be saved, -‐12 [NLT]. For no man can lay a foundation other than the one which is laid, which is Jesus Christ, 1 Corinthians 3:11 [NASB]. I am shocked that you are turning away so soon from God, who called you to Himself through the loving mercy of Christ. You are following a different way that pretends to be the Good News but is not the Good News at all. You are being fooled by those who deliberately twist the truth concerning Christ. Let God s curse fall on anyone, including us or even an angel from heaven, who preaches a different kind of Good News than the one we preached to you. I say again what we have said before: If anyone preaches any other Good News than the one you welcomed, let that person be cursed, Galatians 1:6-‐9 [NLT].
What does the Bible say about the issue of ancestor worship?
The Bible clearly states that we are to worship God only and no other person or being:
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I am the LORD your
God, who brought you out of Egypt, out of the land of slavery. You shall have no other gods before me. You shall not make for yourself an image in the form of anything in heaven above or on the earth beneath or in the waters below. You shall not bow down to them or worship them; for I, the LORD your God, am a jealous God, punishing the children for the sin of the parents to the third and fourth generation of those who hate me, Exodus 20:1-‐5 [NIV]. Do not defile yourselves by turning to mediums or to those who consult the spirits of the dead. I am the LORD your God, Leviticus 19:31 [NLT]. I will also turn against those who commit spiritual prostitution by putting their trust in mediums or in those who consult the spirits of the dead. I will cut them off from the community, Leviticus 20:6 [NLT]. You are the sons of the LORD your God; you shall not cut yourselves nor shave your forehead for the sake of the dead, Deuteronomy 14:1 [NASB]. Let no-‐one be found among you who sacrifices his son or daughter in the fire, who practices divination or sorcery, interprets omens, engages in witchcraft, or casts spells, or who is a medium or spiritist or who consults the dead Deuteronomy 18:10-‐11 [NIV]. Turn, LORD, and deliver me; save me because of your unfailing love. Among the dead no one proclaims your name. Who praises you from the grave? Psalm 6:4-‐5 [NIV].
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Then our ancestors joined in the worship of Baal at Peor; they even ate sacrifices offered to the dead! They angered the LORD with all these things, so a plague broke out among them, Psalm 106:28-‐29 [NLT]. The heavens belong to the LORD, but He has given the earth to all humanity. The dead cannot sing praises to the LORD, for they have gone into the silence of the grave. But we can praise the LORD both now and forever, Psalm 115:16-‐18 [NLT].
this is that of all the challenges you will face as a Christian returnee, those that deal with your faith will be the most difficult. You will adjust to the changes you experience on a personal level. You will adapt to your life at home and adjust to the changes that may have occurred in your family and professional life. You will ease back into the culture in which you were raised. And although you may find Christian fellowship and support soon after you arrive, you will find that you continue to be challenged in one way or another with your new faith. You see, all Christians struggle, whether they are at home, awamatter. The life of a Christian is not an easy life. Therefore, we at ISI have tried to answer questions or address the challenges you may encounter at one time or another. And we have used the best source of help
encourage you to do the same. Our prayer for you is that you will find
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what Christians all over the world have found in going , with their questions and
needs. When they want answers or desire to grow closer to God, they find comfort, wisdom and joy in His Holy Word.
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In Conclusion As a returnee, remember that you ve had a unique opportunity to be able to study outside of your country. Your thoughts and beliefs have been challenged and opened to ideas and ways of looking at life and the world. As you return to your country, keep your mind open to different perspectives and to discovering ultimate answers (truth) to the questions about life, purpose and destiny. Finally, look for the positive things in others and in your culture, and with respect and humility consider how you can use what you have learned to help others. We asked some returnees who are now in their home countries what advice they would give to future international students to help prepare them for their trip home. Here is what some had to share:
-‐rooted culture; however, you can act upon the decrees in the Bible on your own and with like-‐minded people. Practice what you believe [with family]. When they notice your changes, they may wonder and gradually accept your belief. Walk in God s way. Be kind to your colleagues. When there is a need,
~Ling
after have some time in US considering the purpose of life. My hope is that they would re-‐evaluate their values
~An Xin
Everyone has this adapting time. First [we are] excited, very excited, but
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when we find something is different, then we are ~Bao Yu
Tell them there may be jealousy on the part of superiors and peers. The churches may not be as warm and welcoming as those in the U.S. ~Xin Be prepared to give spiritually with humility rather than to receive. Expect no perfect church. If there is no fellowship at all, get ready to start one by organizing a
~Ming-‐hoa
while still studying in U.S. is important. It may prevent the adjustment problems. Students need to let their family know about their concerns about returning home, sharing personal space so that the family knows how to help them. If they are not financially able to live on their own, they should talk with family about their need; ask for more personal space at home while spe ~Jia-‐li
relationship with the Lord (if they are believers). It proved, time and time again, the best solution to all challenges. For the same reason, Christian returnees should keep fellowship, even though they may not be
~Xiao-‐niao
m living in America. ~Lu Chu
Oh, you studied in the U.S., you are elite. But now most people don t
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think that. Maybe you will stay at home, you will be unemployed. So there are many challenges you may face. I think try to bring something good from the U.S. and do something for your countrynot so optimistic, because there are many, many difficul ~Cong
u should love your home town more. And use your knowledge to make your home town better, also to learn as much as possible while you are in the states. ~Zhang -‐entry has its culture shock! They have changed too! Culture back home has changed. Slowly build your friendships. Don t push your experience. Don t try to make comparisons. ~Lan returned earlier and have overseas experience. Ask them for suggestions, and also lower your expectations. Usually when people decide to return home, they have high expectations for their future life and career. Know you will face many difficulties. ~Wang mindset when they return to fit into their culture. They should not be puffed up about their overseas experience, but humbly and prayerfully seek how they can better serve their culture. ~Dong yourself; try to maintain a positive attitude. Open your heart and do not be quick to judge your homeland or the Chinese people. Have an open mind. ~Xun
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critical to make right decisions for you. If you just want to leverage the international experiences of studying abroad to get you a competitive edge in a global economy, think globally and act locally in China. If you want to leverage your international experiences to explore more of the world, then do try your best to experience the U.S. life and culture, and involve as much as you can. Make certain preparations for your next-‐stop destination when you come back. Cherish the quality time with your family and friends, because for better or worse, they are always behind you and your home is where your heart is. ~Zhou
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Resources On Marriage Before You Say I Do by Norm Wright
After You Say I Do by Norm Wright
The Meaning of Marriage: Facing the Complexities of Commitment with the Wisdom of God by Timothy and Kathy Keller
The Mystery of Marriage by Michael Mason
Hope for Troubled Marriages by Everett L. Worthington, Jr.
War of Words: Getting to the Heart of your Communication Struggles by Paul David Tripp
The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman
Love and Respect by Dr. Emerson Eggerichs
Boundaries in Marriage by Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend
Intimate Allies: Rediscovering God s Design for Marriage and Becoming Soul Mates for Life by Dan Allender and Tremper Longman
The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work by John M. Gottman, PhD
The Couple s Survival Workbook: What you can Do To Reconnect With Your Partner and Make Your Marriage Work by David Olsen and Douglas Stephens
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I Married You and I Loved a Girl by Walter Trobisch
The Man in the Mirror by Patrick Morley 鏡中的男人
When Good Men are Tempted by Bill Perkins
当好男人遇上试探-‐:比 ·佩金斯(Bill Perkins) 出版社:新世界出版社
Ambassador for Christ resources: http://www.afcresources.org/bookstore/contents/en-‐us/d27.html
http://2becoming1.com/aboutus Two Becoming One material by Don and Sally Meredith available in Chinese script. Call to get the Chinese version.