TIPS FOR SUCCESS IN LOVE RELATIONSHIPS

有關愛情關係有關愛情關係 ::一些成功之祕一些成功之祕訣訣

““Hollywood” types of relationships: Hollywood” types of relationships: Not Reality!Not Reality!

婚姻跟愛情關係婚姻跟愛情關係 - - 媒體表達地範本媒體表達地範本 : : 是現實生活是現實生活嗎嗎 ??

For real lasting enduring genuine loveFor real lasting enduring genuine love It must It must be an unselfish innate desire to protect & to be an unselfish innate desire to protect & to

help & to make someone else happy.help & to make someone else happy.

為了要有一種真正持久、經得起考驗的無偽真愛。為了要有一種真正持久、經得起考驗的無偽真愛。你們之間的愛及關係一定要建立在一個較為持久你們之間的愛及關係一定要建立在一個較為持久的基礎上，而不只是肉體上互悅及滿足而已。這的基礎上，而不只是肉體上互悅及滿足而已。這個基礎一定要是在你內心有一種不自私的欲望，個基礎一定要是在你內心有一種不自私的欲望，想要去保護、幫助對方及使他人快樂。想要去保護、幫助對方及使他人快樂。

"And because lawlessness will abound, "And because lawlessness will abound, the love of many will grow cold. the love of many will grow cold. MAT.24:12MAT.24:12

MAT.24:12MAT.24:12 那時世上的罪惡劇增，大部分人那時世上的罪惡劇增，大部分人的愛心都變成冷淡的愛心都變成冷淡；；

Using Using People People

Selfishly Selfishly versus versus

Sacrificial Sacrificial GivingGiving

自私的利用人或自私的利用人或是犧牲給予是犧牲給予 ??

All the best things in life are shared. That's why All the best things in life are shared. That's why many don't marry, they don't want to share. Pride & many don't marry, they don't want to share. Pride & selfishness wreck more marriages (relationships) selfishness wreck more marriages (relationships)

than anything else. than anything else.

在生命中所有最好的事物都是由於分享而有的。這就是為在生命中所有最好的事物都是由於分享而有的。這就是為什麼許多人不結婚的原因，他們不想要分享。驕傲及自私，什麼許多人不結婚的原因，他們不想要分享。驕傲及自私，比任何其他事物更摧毀了更多的婚姻比任何其他事物更摧毀了更多的婚姻 ((愛情關係愛情關係 ))。。

The rule of thumb is very simple & it's summed up in the little

slogan on priorities,

一般性的原則是十分簡單的，它可用一個小口號來總括其意義，說明

其優先次序，那就是 :

「耶穌、別人，然後是你」。

"Jesus & others, then you"."Jesus & others, then you".

NobodyNobody’’s Perfect! s Perfect! –– Including You! Including You!

沒有完美的人沒有完美的人 , , 你也不是你也不是 !!

The absolutely The absolutely perfect mate perfect mate

simply does not simply does not exist or they exist or they wouldn't be wouldn't be

human.human.

十全十美的配偶根十全十美的配偶根本就不存在，否則本就不存在，否則的話，他們就不會的話，他們就不會是人類了。是人類了。

If someone can stand to put up with you, maybe If someone can stand to put up with you, maybe you'd better learn how to put up with them too and be you'd better learn how to put up with them too and be thankful that anyone is willing to live with you at all.thankful that anyone is willing to live with you at all.

如果有人能夠容忍你、與你一同生活的話，如果有人能夠容忍你、與你一同生活的話，那麼也許你也最好學習如何容忍他們，並且那麼也許你也最好學習如何容忍他們，並且因有任何人願意與你一同生活而感恩。因有任何人願意與你一同生活而感恩。

If you want to leave your mate simply because If you want to leave your mate simply because there is something about them you don't like, there is something about them you don't like, you're going to want to leave every mate you you're going to want to leave every mate you

ever get, because there's bound to be ever get, because there's bound to be something you don't like about each one.something you don't like about each one.

你若想要離開你的配偶，只因為他（她）有你若想要離開你的配偶，只因為他（她）有些地方你不喜歡，那麼你將會想要離開你會些地方你不喜歡，那麼你將會想要離開你會有的每一個配偶，因為他們每一個人一定會有的每一個配偶，因為他們每一個人一定會

有一些地方你不喜歡的。有一些地方你不喜歡的。

If you can't get along with the mate you now have under almost any

circumstances, how do you know you're going to be able to get along with the next one under almost any

other circumstances?

如果你在幾乎任何情況下，都無法與如果你在幾乎任何情況下，都無法與你現有的配偶合得來的話，那麼你如你現有的配偶合得來的話，那麼你如何能知道你將能在幾乎任何其他情況何能知道你將能在幾乎任何其他情況下，與你下一個配偶合得來呢？下，與你下一個配偶合得來呢？

People who can't get along with People who can't get along with their present mate, frequently can't their present mate, frequently can't

get along with any mate! Success in get along with any mate! Success in marriage is much more than finding marriage is much more than finding

the right person!--It is a matter of the right person!--It is a matter of being the right person!being the right person!

那些不能與他們現有的配偶合得來的人，那些不能與他們現有的配偶合得來的人，他們經常也不能與任何配偶合得來！他們經常也不能與任何配偶合得來！婚姻成功的要訣並不只是在於找到那適合婚姻成功的要訣並不只是在於找到那適合的對象！而是在於你本身成為那適當的人的對象！而是在於你本身成為那適當的人

選！選！

Criticism, murmuring, complaining, etc. kill Criticism, murmuring, complaining, etc. kill relationships. Antidote? Be praiseful!relationships. Antidote? Be praiseful!

批評對方批評對方 , , 彼此抱怨等彼此抱怨等 , , 會破壞愛的關會破壞愛的關係係 ; ; 解決妙方解決妙方 ? ? 讚美對方讚美對方 ! !

No man (or woman) can stand being No man (or woman) can stand being constantly belittled & humiliated, brow-constantly belittled & humiliated, brow-beaten & henpecked.beaten & henpecked.

沒有男人沒有男人 (( 或女人或女人 )) 能受得能受得了不斷地被藐視、被侮辱、被了不斷地被藐視、被侮辱、被威嚇叱責及不斷的嘮叼惱人。威嚇叱責及不斷的嘮叼惱人。

Be to her virtues Be to her virtues very kind. Be to her very kind. Be to her faults a little blind.faults a little blind.

對她的美德，要非常溫柔對她的美德，要非常溫柔地珍視，對她的錯誤，則地珍視，對她的錯誤，則要稍微盲目忽視。要稍微盲目忽視。

Compliment her! Tell her she's beautiful & she'll Compliment her! Tell her she's beautiful & she'll be beautiful! Tell her she's wonderful & she'll be be beautiful! Tell her she's wonderful & she'll be wonderful!wonderful!

讚賞她！告訴她她是美麗的，於是她就會讚賞她！告訴她她是美麗的，於是她就會是美麗的！告訴她她是美妙的，於是她便是美麗的！告訴她她是美妙的，於是她便

會是美妙的了！會是美妙的了！

Say "I love you" Say "I love you" a hundred times a day!a hundred times a day!

在每天，說一在每天，說一百次「我愛百次「我愛你」！你」！

Phil.4:8 applies to your Phil.4:8 applies to your mate as well. Try to mate as well. Try to

remind yourself remind yourself constantly of his or her constantly of his or her good qualities, the good good qualities, the good things, & try not to think things, & try not to think

about the bad things.about the bad things.

腓立比書腓立比書 4:84:8也可應用也可應用在你的伴侶身上。設法在你的伴侶身上。設法不斷提醒你自己，他或不斷提醒你自己，他或她的好素質、那些優越她的好素質、那些優越良善之處良善之處 ;;而設法不要而設法不要去想及那些缺點、壞事去想及那些缺點、壞事

情。情。

Jealousy- Another Jealousy- Another obstacle to obstacle to

Relationships:Relationships:

嫉妒嫉妒 - - 另外一另外一個愛情關係的個愛情關係的障礙障礙 ; ;

““I will pray I will pray for you!”for you!”

i.e. sharing our loved one, when partner is busy with others, i.e. sharing our loved one, when partner is busy with others, ministries, even having some free time, relaxation, etc.ministries, even having some free time, relaxation, etc.

例如不願意分享我們的配偶去輔導別例如不願意分享我們的配偶去輔導別人人 , , 或是不讓他花時間跟別人相處等或是不讓他花時間跟別人相處等等等 ..

Suspicion is far more apt to be wrong than right, oftener unjust

than just. It is no friend to virtue, & always an enemy to happiness.

猜疑通常多半是錯多於對的，更經常是不公平多於公平。它不是美德的朋友，及總是快樂的

敵人。

"Thou shalt give unto him that asketh of thee & of "Thou shalt give unto him that asketh of thee & of him that would borrow of thee, turn not thou him that would borrow of thee, turn not thou

away."away."

「你要給與那些向你求助的人，那些向你「你要給與那些向你求助的人，那些向你借貨的人，你不可拒絕他。」借貨的人，你不可拒絕他。」

You better be You better be thankful for what you thankful for what you have, even if it's only have, even if it's only a little. Be thankful a little. Be thankful you have to share you have to share once in awhile. Be once in awhile. Be thankful you're able thankful you're able to have something to to have something to share once in awhile. share once in awhile.

即使你有的只是一點點，你也最好因你所有的而感恩。要因每隔一陣子你必須分享而感恩。要因每隔一陣子你能有一些事物去分享而感恩。

As Mrs. Billy Graham As Mrs. Billy Graham said when they asked said when they asked

her, "How can you her, "How can you stand to be married to stand to be married to

a man who is gone a man who is gone most of the time?" most of the time?" She said, "I'd rather She said, "I'd rather

have a little bit of Billy have a little bit of Billy Graham than a whole Graham than a whole lot of somebody else."lot of somebody else."

就如當人們問比利葛培理太太時，她所回答的一樣，就如當人們問比利葛培理太太時，她所回答的一樣，他們問她：「你如何能受得了，與一個大部份時間他們問她：「你如何能受得了，與一個大部份時間都不在家的男人結了婚呢？」她說都不在家的男人結了婚呢？」她說 ::「我寧可有一「我寧可有一點點比利葛培理，也好過有很多另一個人。」點點比利葛培理，也好過有很多另一個人。」

Importance of Forgiveness & Importance of Forgiveness & Mercy;Mercy;

憐憫跟原諒的重要性憐憫跟原諒的重要性

You must forgive those who have wronged you & seek You must forgive those who have wronged you & seek forgiveness of those whom you have wronged & take forgiveness of those whom you have wronged & take

them by the hand back into your circle of love & them by the hand back into your circle of love & fellowship & happy, joyful labours & pleasures together.fellowship & happy, joyful labours & pleasures together.

你一定要原諒那些錯待你的人你一定要原諒那些錯待你的人 ;;而對那些你曾錯待而對那些你曾錯待的人，你要真心尋求他們的原諒，並且用手再把的人，你要真心尋求他們的原諒，並且用手再把他們帶進你們愛心、聯誼的圈子裏，再在一起快他們帶進你們愛心、聯誼的圈子裏，再在一起快

樂歡欣的工作及享受歡樂。樂歡欣的工作及享受歡樂。

The Law of Love The Law of Love supersedes the law of supersedes the law of

Justice. The law of Justice Justice. The law of Justice says you can divorce your says you can divorce your

wife if she has been wife if she has been disloyal & unfaithful to you, disloyal & unfaithful to you,

& for a lot of reasons. & for a lot of reasons.

「愛的律法」大過講「公正」的律法。講「公正」之律法說，如果你的妻子或丈夫對你不忠實、不忠心，以及因為許多理由，你可以與她或他離婚

But the Law of Love says if he/ she's sorry, you should forgive him/her & take him/her back in & love him/her. How do you know but maybe you'll be able to win them through your love?

但是「愛的律法」說，如果她或他覺得後悔的話，你應該但是「愛的律法」說，如果她或他覺得後悔的話，你應該原諒她原諒她 ((他他 ))，把她，把她 ((他他 )) 重新再帶回你的懷抱中及愛她重新再帶回你的懷抱中及愛她((他他 ))。你怎麼知道你不能鸁回你的妻子或丈夫呢？你怎。你怎麼知道你不能鸁回你的妻子或丈夫呢？你怎

麼知道你不能藉著你的愛而鸁取她麼知道你不能藉著你的愛而鸁取她 ((他他 ))呢？呢？

Winning non-believers Winning non-believers to be believersto be believers

I pray for him I pray for him daily, because daily, because

I I reallyreally love love himhim

贏贏取取還還沒沒相相信信耶耶穌穌的的人人來來信信祂祂

That weak wife, That weak wife, Brother, ought to bring Brother, ought to bring out the protective out the protective instinct in you or may instinct in you or may be God's way of be God's way of teaching you love, teaching you love, patience and mercy. patience and mercy.

弟兄，你那位軟弟兄，你那位軟弱的妻子，應該弱的妻子，應該會引發出你內在會引發出你內在的保護本能，這的保護本能，這也許是上帝教導也許是上帝教導你有關愛、耐心你有關愛、耐心及憐憫的方式。及憐憫的方式。

That weak husband, Sister, may be just what you need to

bring out the strong motherly instinct in you that'll make you

a good leader & keep you both closer

to the Lord!姐妹，你那位軟弱的姐妹，你那位軟弱的丈夫，也許就正是你丈夫，也許就正是你所需要的，來引發你所需要的，來引發你內在的強烈母性本能，內在的強烈母性本能，而且這麼一來將可使而且這麼一來將可使你成為一個好的領導你成為一個好的領導人，並使你們兩人都人，並使你們兩人都更與上主親近！更與上主親近！

Principle of the Love Triangle; Principle of the Love Triangle; Jesus being the GlueJesus being the Glue

愛的三角形愛的三角形 : : 耶穌是我們中間的黏著劑耶穌是我們中間的黏著劑

Without good communication with your Without good communication with your Lord there cannot be much good Lord there cannot be much good

communication between you.communication between you.

你們若與你們的上主之你們若與你們的上主之間沒有好的溝通的話，間沒有好的溝通的話，那麼在你們之間也不可那麼在你們之間也不可能會有多少好的溝通。能會有多少好的溝通。

Lord! I…uh…

Enduring Difficulties; Enduring Difficulties; Try to Make Your Relationship Work!Try to Make Your Relationship Work!

忍受艱苦忍受艱苦 : : 嘗試成功嘗試成功 --不要放棄不要放棄 !!

To have a few occasional personality clashes is

understandable, but love never fails, & these

should be healed through humility, love & the oil of

His Spirit.

偶然發生幾次性格方面的衝突是可被諒解的，但是愛永不失敗，這些事情是應該可以藉著謙卑、愛及祂聖靈之油而

被治愈的。

Some people seem to have forgotten all about

something called love, real love, which can survive almost any difficulties,

differences, weaknesses, shortcomings, failures,

faults, sins or obstacles.

有些人似乎完全忘記了一件叫愛、真愛的東西，有了這東西，你能經得起幾乎任何困難、不同、弱點、缺點、過錯、罪

或阻礙。

Importance of Good CommunicationImportance of Good Communication

良好溝通的重要性良好溝通的重要性 ::

It's dangerous when people stop talking to

each other!

當人們停止與彼此說話時就危險

了！

One of the One of the greatest assets to greatest assets to a good marriage is a good marriage is

honesty, along honesty, along with a sense of with a sense of

humour!humour!

有助於達成一有助於達成一個美滿婚姻的個美滿婚姻的其中最大要素其中最大要素之一就是誠實，之一就是誠實，再加上一份幽再加上一份幽

默感！默感！

A Tip For A Tip For the Men: the Men:

Watch out Watch out about about

Masculine Masculine Pride:Pride:

給男士的給男士的小秘訣小秘訣 ::小心大男小心大男人主義的人主義的驕傲的心驕傲的心態態 ::

In Communication, Equality is Important:In Communication, Equality is Important:

用彼此平等的地位去溝通用彼此平等的地位去溝通 ::

Marriage should be as Marriage should be as equal as possible, as equal as possible, as sharing as possible. sharing as possible.

You should talk You should talk together, pray together, together, pray together, love together, discuss love together, discuss together & then decide together & then decide

& agree together.& agree together.

婚姻應該是盡可能的婚姻應該是盡可能的平等、盡可能的分享。平等、盡可能的分享。你們應該在一起談、你們應該在一起談、一起禱告、愛在一起、一起禱告、愛在一起、一起討論，然後一起一起討論，然後一起

決定及同意。決定及同意。

Don't forget to say, "I love you!" Keep speaking words Don't forget to say, "I love you!" Keep speaking words of love. Words sometimes can do more for a woman of love. Words sometimes can do more for a woman

than anything else!--Especially if you are speaking with than anything else!--Especially if you are speaking with love, tenderness, meaning & sincerity.love, tenderness, meaning & sincerity.

不要忘了去說不要忘了去說 ::「我愛你！」不斷說出充滿愛意「我愛你！」不斷說出充滿愛意的話語。話語有時比任何其他事物更能感動一個的話語。話語有時比任何其他事物更能感動一個女人的心！─ 特別是如果你是充滿愛意、溫柔、女人的心！─ 特別是如果你是充滿愛意、溫柔、

真心、誠懇這麼說的話。真心、誠懇這麼說的話。

A Tip to the Women: Be Tender, not

so pushy, etc.

給女士的小給女士的小秘訣秘訣 : : 要要保持溫柔保持溫柔 , , 不要咄咄不要咄咄

逼人逼人 : :

God's law is that a woman's desire shall be unto her husband (Gen.3:16) & the Devil's been trying to overthrow that from the beginning, of which women's lib is a classic example.

上帝定的律條是，一個女人應戀慕她的丈夫（創世記 3:16 ），而魔鬼從最開始就在設法廢除這個律條，所謂「婦女解放運動」就是一個典型的例子。

They don't desire to please their husbands, they desire to rule over them. They don't want equality, they want to enslave their husbands & to be the boss. It's rebellion against the plan & order of God.

她們不想要取悅她們的丈夫，她們只想要統治他們。做領頭上司，這種作法是叛逆上帝的計劃及規律。

It must be pride that keeps so many women from giving in, surrendering, they hate to give up. It's almost like they hate to

trust the Lord, much less their husband. I guess it's just the nature of women that after a certain length of time their faith in their husband & their confidence in him wears off & they try to get control & make the decisions & do what they think is best.

一定是因為驕傲，使得那麼多女人不願屈順、降服，一定是因為驕傲，使得那麼多女人不願屈順、降服，她們憎惡降服。這幾乎就好像是她們憎惡去信靠上她們憎惡降服。這幾乎就好像是她們憎惡去信靠上主，更別說去信靠她們的丈夫了。我猜想這只是女主，更別說去信靠她們的丈夫了。我猜想這只是女人的天性，在過了某一段時間之後，她們對她們丈人的天性，在過了某一段時間之後，她們對她們丈夫的信心及信心逐漸減少，而她們設法想要控制一夫的信心及信心逐漸減少，而她們設法想要控制一

切、作決定及去做她們認為是最好的事情。切、作決定及去做她們認為是最好的事情。

她們失去了對她們丈夫的尊敬之心，也不再敬重她們失去了對她們丈夫的尊敬之心，也不再敬重他。她們只想要控制他，確定他在做她們想要他他。她們只想要控制他，確定他在做她們想要他去做的事。他成為在她們手中的一個工具，而沒去做的事。他成為在她們手中的一個工具，而沒有將他放在上主的手中，她們設法利用他來達到有將他放在上主的手中，她們設法利用他來達到她們的目的。這是魔鬼使人墮落敗壞的部份作法，她們的目的。這是魔鬼使人墮落敗壞的部份作法，

他在設法搗亂上帝的計劃及作為他在設法搗亂上帝的計劃及作為

They lose respect for their husband & no longer They lose respect for their husband & no longer honour him. They only want to control him & make honour him. They only want to control him & make

sure he does what they want him to do. He sure he does what they want him to do. He becomes a tool in their own hand instead of leaving becomes a tool in their own hand instead of leaving him in the Lord's hand, & they try to use him to get him in the Lord's hand, & they try to use him to get their way. It's part of the Devil's corruption, trying to their way. It's part of the Devil's corruption, trying to

throw a monkey-wrench in God's machinery.throw a monkey-wrench in God's machinery.

不要與一個你能和她在一不要與一個你能和她在一起生活的女孩子起生活的女孩子 // 男孩子男孩子結婚，你要與那個若沒有結婚，你要與那個若沒有她她 ((他他 ))你就不能生活下你就不能生活下去的女孩子去的女孩子 // 男孩子結婚！男孩子結婚！

Don't marry the girl Don't marry the girl you can live with, but you can live with, but

marry the girl you marry the girl you can't live without!can't live without!

OTHER QUOTES ON OTHER QUOTES ON MARRIAGEMARRIAGE

其他有關婚姻的引言其他有關婚姻的引言…………

The great secret of The great secret of successful successful

marriage is to treat marriage is to treat all disasters as all disasters as

incidents, & none incidents, & none of the incidents as of the incidents as

disasters.disasters.

成功婚姻的大秘訣成功婚姻的大秘訣是，把所有大事當是，把所有大事當作小事，並且不把作小事，並且不把任何小事當作大事任何小事當作大事來看待。來看待。

If you want to learn something about If you want to learn something about unselfishness, humility and sharing, just get unselfishness, humility and sharing, just get

married!married!

如果你想要學習有關不自私、謙卑和如果你想要學習有關不自私、謙卑和分享之事的話，那麼就結婚吧！分享之事的話，那麼就結婚吧！

Marriage is more than sex or friendship or even a Marriage is more than sex or friendship or even a business partnership for the Lord's Work!business partnership for the Lord's Work!

婚姻不只是性愛關係或友誼，或甚至是為婚姻不只是性愛關係或友誼，或甚至是為上主工作的一個事務合夥人關係而已！上主工作的一個事務合夥人關係而已！

It is the most intimate, humbling, loving & self-sacrificial It is the most intimate, humbling, loving & self-sacrificial relationship between human beings in all of life. "No relationship between human beings in all of life. "No greater love hath any man than this: that a man lay greater love hath any man than this: that a man lay

down his life for his friends!" (Jn.15:13)down his life for his friends!" (Jn.15:13)

它是在人類所有生命中最親密、最使人謙卑、最它是在人類所有生命中最親密、最使人謙卑、最富愛心、最需自我犧牲的關係。「人為朋友捨命，富愛心、最需自我犧牲的關係。「人為朋友捨命，人的愛心沒有比這個大的！」（約翰人的愛心沒有比這個大的！」（約翰 15:1315:13 ））

This is love, real love, true love--the This is love, real love, true love--the willingness of a husband to sacrifice willingness of a husband to sacrifice himself for his wife, the eagerness himself for his wife, the eagerness of a wife to lay down her life for her of a wife to lay down her life for her

husband! husband!

這是愛、真正的愛、無偽的愛，一個作這是愛、真正的愛、無偽的愛，一個作丈夫的願意為他的妻子犧牲他自己，一丈夫的願意為他的妻子犧牲他自己，一個作妻子的切望為她的丈夫捨命！個作妻子的切望為她的丈夫捨命！

Love, Till Death do Us Part!Love, Till Death do Us Part!

This is supernatural love, divine love, God's Love, more than human!

這是超自這是超自然的愛、然的愛、屬神的愛、屬神的愛、上帝的愛，上帝的愛，超過人類超過人類的愛！的愛！

LOVE YOU SO000 MUCH!LOVE YOU SO000 MUCH!

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