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Back when we started out in the dating world, we had to actually, you know, date. As in: leave our

houses, head to a bar or the local CVS, filter in and out the right people, and actually talk to

them—before we even knew whether they were dating material in the first place!

Oh, and we had to do it in the snow. Uphill. Both ways.

Okay—it wasn’t that bad. We had the Internet, which means we had dating sites. And we had cell

phones, which means we could text. And we mastered those media like it was nobody’s business,

which is why we created the official Art of Charm TXT Book, which turned e-banter into a fun and

awesome science.

But now? The rules have changed. A whole new game has developed. Apps and devices have blown

the dating scene wide open. The world is your oyster.

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you lucky bastard

Because there’sTHIS little thing called

And IT’S GOING TO

ROCK YOUR WORLD

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Tinder is the newest rage in the online dating world.

An Introduction to TinderIf you’re new to Tinder, let me fill you in. (If you’re a Tinder MVP, keep reading anyway. We’re going

to take you from good to great to Tinder Jedi Knight. But props for already getting started.) (Tinder

noobs—we’ve got you!)

In a nutshell, Tinder is a mobile app that allows you to set up an easy (and free) profile so that you

can play a fun, easy version of “hot or not” with single girls in your area.

While you’re sifting through girls’ profiles—swiping left if you’re not interested, swiping right if you

are—they’re doing the same thing with you. If you both swipe right on each other, then you get a

match, and the game is on.

Pretty awesome, right?

What this means is that you will only connect with girls who have demonstrated some interest in

you (don’t you wish bars were like this?) and that the barriers to approaching have been taken down

to their lowest and most convenient levels.

I know. It’s everything you’ve been waiting for.

Even better news is that you can master Tinder the way you can master any other game. But we’ll get

to that in a second.

Tinder profiles contain only a handful of pictures (8 or fewer) and a very brief profile (usually no

more than 4 sentences) for you to peruse. That’s important, because it’ll give you something more

than just looks to work with. It also means there’s more going on here than just superficial swiping,

which we at The Art of Charm think is very important.

Tinder can be used for all sorts of great experiences.

First, you can use Tinder as a normal dating app, seeking out people for hang-outs or relationships.

(AOC alumni have found several long-term girlfriends on the app. After reading this e-book, we

wouldn’t be surprised if you become one of them!)

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It’s the holy grail of online dating.

How to get started on Tinder

You can also use Tinder to find cool people in your area—friends, colleagues, and new wingwomen.

Depending on your goals, you can think of the Tinder community as broadly as you want. It’s a great

networking tool and a fun place to start meeting people in a new city.

Finally—and you know we’re big on this at AOC—you can also use Tinder as an awesome tool for

exercise and self-improvement. The app is ideal for tightening up your game, keeping yourself

engaged and in shape, learning how to engage different types of people, moving swiftly from app

to text to real life, and developing your online confidence. That’s crazy valuable, apart from all the

dating potential!

Because Tinder is really a gift to us. While other dating sites require a significant investment of your

time (how many hours have you poured into Match.com?), Tinder is fast, convenient, relatively

private, and full of people who are already interested in meeting you.

First, let’s put aside everything you know about online dating. Whereas OKcupid profiles are

detailed portraits of someone’s personality and values, Tinder is more like an iPhone snapshot.

Or a fishing lure. Or a lightening rod. Pick your favorite metaphor—the point is, you want

something fun, friendly and shiny to grab a girl’s attention. The first goal is simply to get her to

bite.

So you’re playing a game, really. And the game is: let’s both swipe so we can start talking.

Which means that a girl might swipe her way through 30 guys a minute. If you don’t have

something to catch her eye—something that inspires her to swipe right—then we’ve missed an

opportunity.

The first thing you’ll need is a killer profile.

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First, good profile pictures

Second, a solid profile

These come straight from your Facebook account, which Tinder integrates with. Choosing

your photos is super easy.

The good news: You don’t need to be David Beckham to win at this game. You don’t need to

be extraordinary handsome, ripped or extravagant. You just need to be someone she would

want to hang with. You need to be intriguing.

So skip the shirtless bathroom selfie. (Seriously—just don’t.) Cut the ones of you wasted

with your friends. (There are way too many dudes with drunk pics. Don’t be a Tindork.)

Instead, post 4-5 solid, quality photos of yourself. One of those photos should be a

straightforward, normal photo of you smiling and looking good. The rest can be fun and

playful photos that give a glimpse of who you are—you doing something adventures, riding

a bike, playing guitar, doing something funny, playing a sport—anything that hints at your

personality without being obvious, crass or self-promotional. (There’s a lot of that on Tinder,

too. And we both know you’re better than that!)

Pro-tip: Put your best photo first. Girls often decide to swipe based on your first photo

alone, so make sure it’s a good one.

The section is called “About Me”, but let’s not make this your life story. Keep it short and

sweet, and focus on conveying a fun and intriguing personality. More than anything, be real.

How can you be authentic, intriguing and concise at the same time? By focusing on those

key details about yourself that are true and interesting. We’ve all got them. What do you do

for fun? What do you have to share with the world? What gets you excited? Big or small, the

answers to those questions could easily be your profile.

Recovering lawyer, current backpacker, avid reader, future awesome guy you know—that, for

example, covers some fun basics without being pretentious. So does something like New

York native studying the indigenous peoples of Los Angeles. Love new friends. Total book nerd.

Even more awesome in person.

So what inspires people to swipe?

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How do I win?

Whatever you write, the tone will do most of the work for you. On Tinder, as in life, the particulars

matter less than the style.

You can also mix it up and add some humor by including a funny quote, asking a silly question, or

sharing an observation. It’s all fair game. (Lots of people even make fun of the fact that they’re on

Tinder, but that’s starting to get a little worn out.) Tinder shouldn’t just be one big joke, but it also

shouldn’t be totally serious.

Ultimately, you want to give her something to swipe-right about and to talk about when you meet up.

As a starting point, just imagine what you would want to know about someone off the bat, and start

there. We’re all looking for the same things: authenticity, uniqueness, and a fun little challenge. Use

your profile to capture those qualities.

Once you’ve got your profile set up, you’re ready to play! The question is:

nail your profileOne of our guys wrote the following in his “About Me” section:

“Volleyball, fishing, shark wrestling, hiking, guitar, craft beer, teacher. Only one of those is a lie.”

Perfect, right? It’s both real and fun, revealing and brief. It ends with a hint of intrigue and a perfect opening conversation: So which one’s real? (I think we all know what it is—shark wrestling, obviously—but it’s still a fun

Glad you asked.

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Maximizing your matchesHere’s where Tinder gets interesting.

There are lots of different views about how to game this app—it’s sort of like basketball

coaches arguing for a fast-break game vs. half-court game—but we’re going to share a

general strategy here for maximizing your matches. Over time, you’ll have to decide what

works best for you. This is a great place to start.

But first—a little secret.

Most guys use Tinder like a normal dating website. They go through each profile, carefully

critique and assess each picture and “about me” section, then decide if someone is right for

them.

This probably takes about 20-30 seconds, but when you multiply that by the hundreds of

profiles you’ll come across, it’s a HUGE time-waster. Plus, remember that you can only chat

with people who swipe right on you too—which means that of all of the girls you “like,” only

a few of them will actually match with you, making all that time an even worse investment.

No one knows what works on Tinder like girls on Tinder. They’re an amazing resource for avoiding

some of the most common pitfalls of online dating.

If you need some advice, talk to girls about their favorite Tinder stories. Our female friends have loads

of stories, from the awful guys with tasteless dick-pics to the handful of dudes who were actually cool.

Advanced exercise: Create a Tinder profile for a girl on a device you don't use, then see what happens.

Watch every guy say a variation of the same thing that doesn't work and never has. Watch the dull

texts and bad photos roll in.

How does it feel to be on the girl’s side of Tinder? What can you learn from those mistakes? Have you

ever been one of those guys? Well now you know what it’s like to be the recipient—and exactly how

to change.

POLLING GIRLS ON TINDER

Girls can be your best wingman on Tinder, so use them!

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Embrace the Tinder game

So right about now you’re probably thinking: Why don’t I just swipe-right and “like”

everybody, then start being selective once I get my matches?

Good idea! We like the way you’re thinking.

Except the people who built Tinder are pretty smart. They know that future Tinder MVPs like

you are looking to do some serious damage on this app. And they don’t want people gaming

the system.

So recently, Tinder’s engineers made some changes. First, they limited the number of

matches you can get by swiping-right. And second, they started keeping track of how many

left-swipes and right-swipes people give and receive.

Which means that the “like everybody then see who matches back” approach just won’t

work—because Tinder now limits and tracks that move—and that people who give very few

“likes” are deemed, in Tinder’s eyes, more attractive. And girls who are more “attractive”

(which here just means “selective”) don’t get displayed to guys who constantly swipe right.

So what should you do? In short: Find a balance. Don’t be overly selective too early

(remember, you still want to be efficient), but don’t be a total right-swipe stud, either. “Like”

people you actually find attractive, but don’t make it a full-time job. Something in the middle

will maximize your chances with girls you’re actually interested in without turning Tinder’s

code against you.

If you respect that balance—and it’s very easy to respect, since it actually works in your

favor—then Tinder will always reward you.

If things go well, you’ll end up with a nice number of matches. If you end up with a huge number

(stud!), don’t stress—you can just let them sit!

Most will wait for you to initiate. And they will still be waiting when you want to go back and message

them. You can always go back to girls when you have the time, or revisit past matches who have been

sitting around in your queue for a while.

MANAGING YOUR QUEUE

95% of girls won't message first.

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Things are going swimmingly now! You’re swiping right, you’re getting matches—you’ve successfully

completed the first phase of Tinder.

Now you have to develop a relationship. Luckily, our exclusive TXT Book strategies are perfect for

Tinder, so you’ll have tried-and-tested material to use during this phase of the game.

Decide your sphere of interest

Tinder has a nifty feature that allows you to set your search radius, or how far from your

current location you’re interested in looking.

If you start with a huge radius, you are going to end up with a lot of matches, many of whom

you wouldn’t want to travel so far to see. Instead, start small (maybe only 1-3 miles if you

live in a heavily populated area or a big city) and go through all of the profiles there.

If you want to increase your profiles or matches, then increase your radius bit by bit. That

way, you aren’t overwhelmed with matches and you can always add more by just increasing

your radius and “like” your way through a whole new batch!

If you’re looking to hook up in the next few hours, then you might not want to venture more than 5 miles. (Hey—we get it.)

If you’re looking for cool new friends, then your search might be wider. (Interesting people are everywhere.)

SETTING YOUR RADIUS

Consider your goals, then match your search radius accordingly.

Your radius also depends on your interests.

Game on—time to banter

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Your first goal after matching is to get the girl interested enough to respond. Once she does, your

second goal is to keep her interested. Which means you have to be having fun! If you’re having fun,

you’ll be fun, and if are fun, she’ll have fun too—and that’s the whole idea!

So put away your specific expectations for a moment. Don’t be pushy, and don’t be needy. Instead, be

playful. Have fun. Be different from 99% of the dudes on Tinder.

Are you talking to a date, a friend or a potential new colleague? Is she on her 10 am coffee break at

work, or sexting in bed at 11 pm? Are you trying to hook up tonight, or to develop a relationship over

the next few days?

Your immediate goal will require different approaches. The only thing that won’t change is the game

of bantering!

Tailor your Tinder TextTinder game will change with your goals, context and partner. Keep that in mind as you text.

Fun fact: A large proportion of girls on Tinder aren’t really sure how they feel about the app, and are

just there to play with it before they decide to delete it.

Knowing that most women are jumping on and off Tinder should take some pressure off and inspire

you to take fun chances. It also means that they are willing to take a risk and meet new people before

they jump ship—which only increases your odds!

Worst-case scenario: You talk to a girl you didn’t know and you will never see again. Best-case

scenario: You’re the one who makes Tinder worthwhile for her!

THE REVOLVING DOOR OF TINDER

How awesome is that?

The one and only rule of Tinder texting: Have fun!

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Instead of saying Hey or What’s up?, set yourself apart. You looked cool, but now I see you actually read

books—we’re gonna get along famously! will grab a girl’s attention, make her laugh, and instantly set

you apart from the rest of the dudes putting in the bare minimum.

Similarly, referencing something meaningful in her profile in a fun and inviting way—Wait, you like The

Fountainhead AND The Bachelor? Are you really telling the truth? :)—sets up a perfect opening

conversation.

Here are four common types of Tinder openers. Remember that there is no “right” way to start a

conversation—just do what works in the moment!

The most organic way to kick off an exchange is a callback to her profile. You like Game of

Thrones AND you’re in my neighborhood? How are we not friends yet? is a perfect way to begin. It

identifies a common passion and immediately creates a shared experience.

There’s no “right” way to banter on Tinder. But here are a few field-tested openers from The Art of Charm crew that have worked wonders. Feel free to use these, or—even better—use them to create some of your own.

You had me at the Miami Heat and Scandal!

Wait—you actually like Children’s Hospital? Can we just skip Tinder and get married right now? :)

Real talk: Favorite Game of Thrones season—one or two?

I accidentally wound up in a gay bar last night…I had to beat guys off left and right :)Just moved to L.A. as well. You stalking me? :)

You look like an adorable Pixar character in a suit :)

KILLER OPENERS

The profile callback

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You can combine the profile callback with a little playful teasing (see our TXT Book for more

detail): You live 10 miles away?! That’s soooo far! I hope you own a helicopter :), for example, is

great.

Or you can combine the callback with some light disqualification. Play a game of 2 Compliments

and a ‘But’ by saying something like, I love Game of Thrones and beach volleyball, but you listen to

Miley? :/ Oh well, 2 out of 3 isn’t bad ;).

Another natural way to start bantering is to comment on her profile picture. The key with this

opener is to be confident and positive, and to never be superficial or mean.

A complimentary reference usually gets the job done. You remind me of a really cute Minnie

Mouse :) is fun and complimentary without being condescending or needy (two common traps

for dudes on Tinder).

Commenting on her picture is especially effective if she’s clearly using her profile picture to her

advantage. For example, if she posts a photo of her giving a TED Talk, then you know she values

her public speaking experience. Talk about it! Similarly, if a super hot girl includes photos of her

looking killer in a bikini, then you can call out the elephant in the room while neutralizing the

tension: Big Bang Theory and beach-running? I think we’re going to get along great. Plus you’re just

hideous to look at :).

Another fun way to begin is to initiate a little game of role-playing. Something like, Here’s the

thing. You and me—I think we’re gonna make it. Let’s take Hollywood by storm! will kick off a funny

back-and-forth about the reality TV show you two should have. Any shared experience is

great—even a silly, fictitious one—because it quickly creates intimacy and history.

You can also serve up riddles or jokes to kick off the conversation. What has a bottom at the top?

I prefer riddles over pickup lines so I get the smarties ;) can be effective, because it hooks intrigue

(what’s the answer?), raises her discernment (you’re already selective), and creates an instant

game (we’re solving the riddle). My grandparents met on Tinder! I’m looking for a true love like

theirs ;) will also hit the right tone. (But use that one selectively—it’s been making the rounds!)

(Oh—and the answer to the riddle is “your legs.” Legs have a bottom at the top.)

The picture comment

Role-playing and jokes

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After the opener, your only job is to have a fun conversation. Get to know one another. Share some fun

and relevant backstory. Be a real human. Don’t get too deep, too intense, too quickly. Keep it light and

fun, while being real and friendly. Continue having fun, and don’t let the conversation linger. (Again,

the TXT Book will be your best friend here.)

All of this will create the foundational trust and common ground that allows women to feel intrigued

and safe around you. And that is how you can begin a real-world relationship.

Another fun way to begin is to initiate a little game of role-playing. Something like, Here’s the

thing. You and me—I think we’re gonna make it. Let’s take Hollywood by storm! will kick off a funny

back-and-forth about the reality TV show you two should have. Any shared experience is

great—even a silly, fictitious one—because it quickly creates intimacy and history.

You can also serve up riddles or jokes to kick off the conversation. What has a bottom at the top?

I prefer riddles over pickup lines so I get the smarties ;) can be effective, because it hooks intrigue

(what’s the answer?), raises her discernment (you’re already selective), and creates an instant

game (we’re solving the riddle). My grandparents met on Tinder! I’m looking for a true love like

theirs ;) will also hit the right tone. (But use that one selectively—it’s been making the rounds!)

(Oh—and the answer to the riddle is “your legs.” Legs have a bottom at the top.)

Pro-tip: Be careful with prepared jokes. While they scale well (you can pretty much copy and

paste them), they can sometimes come across as canned and impersonal. Again, do what works

for you in the moment, and always make it personal!

These are some of the best openers around. They’re organic, authentic and honest.

For example, A guy literally just fell off the bar stool next to me. Wish you could have been here to

see it combines the shared reference of role-playing above with the spontaneity of a situational

opener.

But simple openers can work brilliantly too. Just had an awesome dinner with an old friend. So

fun. How as your night? is a perfect way to offer a window into your life and invite her to do the

same. Being open also paints you as totally normal, which is a basic but essential trust-builder

in the online world.

Situational opener

Keep it moving

The last stage of Tinder is to move from the app to the real world.

Into the real world

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Once you’ve had fun, bantered, gotten to know one another and created some basic rapport, you’re in

great shape to get her number and set up the date.

Don’t make a huge deal about it—just throw it out when the conversation is going well. Our research

shows that about 5-15 messages is the sweet spot. Anyway, your instincts will tell you the right time.

A smart way to transition to the phone is to offer her your number. You’re fun. Let’s keep talking.

XXX-XXX-XXXX. You should respond there is perfect. You’re making it clear that you’re moving in that

direction, but giving her the space to transition on her own.

You can also combine your phone number with playful banter. After an especially fun exchange, say

something like, Haha! You just won my phone number. XXX-XXX-XXXX. Once again, you’re moving

toward the real world without being needy or pushy.

From there, the same texting rules apply, and booking the date will be a natural extension of your

conversation. You seem pretty awesome. You should totally go on a date with me is perfect. So is

something like, You’re pretty cool. Let’s go on a fun adventure date! And if you’re already talking about

something you both enjoy—running on the beach, bowling, catching a movie—then simply suggest

doing it together. Boom—you’ve got an insta-date.

After that, there’s no need to linger. A simple I’ve got to run, but it was awesome chatting with you. Can’t

wait for our date :) works just fine.

If you’ve done everything right up to this point, meeting up will be easy as pie. The progression from matching to texting to meeting helps you manage each stage along the way. If you’re struggling to book a real date, then revisit your text game and see where you can improve.

Sometimes you’ll have to spend longer in the text stage before you can move to a real-world encounter. Sometimes you’ll get there immediately. And sometimes you’ll have to start fresh and get it right with the next girl.

That’s the beauty of Tinder—you have infinite lives! So enjoy the app for the practice as well as for the potential.

FROM TEXTING TO HANGING

https://theartofcharm.leadpag-es.net/ars-lp-breakup-ebook/

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To maintain your momentum and positive energy as you transition from Tinder to real life, keep

dropping fun, playful texts along the way. On the day of your date, shoot her a text to reengage and

confirm: Today is our big day. Just relax. Breathe :) works wonders. So does Are you ready to get your butt

kicked in bowling today? :)

It ultimately doesn’t matter what you say—only how and when you say it. That’s the beauty of texting!

From there, you’re back in the real world with a cool new girl on a fun new adventure. Mission

accomplished!

W H E R E O R D I N A R Y G U Y S B E C O M EE X T R A O R D I N A R Y M E N

Wherever you are, whomever you’re with, whatever your goals, I hope you have fun with this app and

enjoy putting these exclusive tips into practice. We’re always looking out for you here at The Art of

Charm—in our bootcamps, on your phone, and out there in the real world.

Now go have fun and leave everything (and everyONE) better than you found it!

So there you are,

own handbook-your very

mastering

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