K N MY ...

Mt g n my tingn mt qu ng nmt sang trng trn ngph. "Ny, ng bn qu,ng c th cho hai la c khng?" Ngin ng n mc sangtrng tr li:" Bn skhng tiu tin vo ruch, phi khng?"

"Khng, tha ngi, ti khngung ru," g n myci li.

"Bn s khng qung nvo nhng vn chi tolao, phi khng?" ngi nng thng lu hi.

" Khng theo li .Ti khng chi bi," gn my tr li.

" Bn s khng tiuhoang tin vo nhng khongph hm ca mt cucgn, phi khng?" ngi nng hi.

"Khng bao gi," tn nmy ni, "ti khng chign."

Ngi n ng hi gn my c mun vnh vi ng ta ncm nh khng. G nmy hm h ng .Trong khi h ang ihng v nh ngi nng, g n my khngthng c tnh t m."V ng s khng nigin khi b y thymt g nh ti tibn n ca ng ?"

" Chc l c," ngin ng ni, "nhng sng nh th. Ti munc y thy iu gxy ra cho mt gkhng nhu nht, c bchoc chi gn."

HOW TO LIVE?

"Darling," said the young manto his new bride. "Nowthat we are married, doyou think you will beable to live on mymodest income?"

"Of course, dearest, no trouble,"she answered. "But what willyou live on?"

LM SAO SNG?

"Em yu," mt ngi nng tr ni vi cdu mi."V rng chng taci nhau, em c nghem s c th sngbng thu nhp khim tnca anh?"

"D nhin, anh yu, khngsao c," c ta trli. "Nhng anh s sngbng g?"

THEY HAD NO PRIVACY

As a young married couple,a husband and a wifelived in a cheap housingcomplex near the base wherehe was working. Their chiefcomplaint was that the wallswere paper-thin and that theyhad no privacy. This waspainfully obvious when one morningthe husband was upstairs andthe wife was downstairs onthe telephone. She was interruptedby the doorbell and wentto greet her neighbor.

"Give this to your husband,"he said thrusting a rollof toilet paper into herhands. "He's been yelling forit for 15 minutes!"

H KHNG C CHT RINGT NO C

Khi l mt cp vchng tr mi ci, ngichng v ngi v sngtrong mt khu nh lin hp r tin gnc s ngi chng lmvic.iu ng phn nn chyu ca h l ccbc tng mng nh giyv h khng c cs kn o.iu ny lra hin nhin mt cchng bun vo mt buisng ngi chng tngtrn v ngi v tng di ang gi inthoi.Ngi v b ct ngangbi ting chung ca vi ra cho ngi hngxm.

"a ci ny cho chngc," ng ta ni vgii mt cun giy vsinh vo tay c ta."Anhy ht i n15 pht!"

A HUSBAND WHO NEVER FEELSASHAMED

"I'm ashamed of the waywe live," a young wifesays to her lazy husbandwho refuses to find ajob. "My father pays ourrent. My mother buys allof our food. My sisterbuys our clothes. My auntbought us a car. I'mjust so ashamed."

The husband rolls over onthe couch. "And you damnwell should be," he agrees."Those two worthless brothers ofyours ain't never give usa cent!"

MT NGI CHNG KHNG BAOGI BIT XU H

"Em xu h v cchsng ca chng ta," mtngi v tr ni ving chng li - ngit chi i tm mtvic lm." Ba em trtin thu nh. M emmua tt c n.Chem mua qun o chngta. C em mua xehi cho chng ta. Emqu xu h."

Ngi chng ln trn trni vng. "V em nntip tc ch trch na,"anh ta ng . "Haing anh v dng caem khng bao gi chochng ta mt xu!"

THE NEIGHBORS CAN NOT SEEYOU

Having been married ten yearsand still living in anapartment, the wife would oftencomplain about anything, as shewas tired of saving everypenny to buy a "dreamhome".

Trying to placate her, thehusband found a new apartment,within their budget. However, afterthe first week, she begancomplaining again.

"Joel," she said, "I don'tlike this place at all.There are no curtains inthe bathroom. The neighbors cansee me every time Itake a bath."

"Don't worry." replied her husband."If the neighbors do seeyou, they'll buy curtains."

HNG XM KHNG TH NHNTHY EM C

ci nhau mi nmnhng vn sng trong mtcn h, ngi v thngphn nn th vc ta mt mi vvic tit kim tng xu mua mt "ngi nhm c".

Vi c gng an iv, ngi chng tm mtcn h mi hp titin ca h. Tuy vy,sau tun l u, ngiv li bt u phnnn.

"Joel," c ta ni, "emkhng thch ni ny tno. Khng c tm mnno trong phng tm. Hngxm c th thy emkhi em tm."

"ng lo," chng tr li.Nu qu thc hng xmthy em, h s muamn."

WHERE'S THE SHOE?

One night a fellow drovehis secretary home after shehad imbibed a little toomuch at an office reception.Although this was an innocentgesture, he decided not tomention it to his wife,who tended to get jealouseasily.

The next night the manand his wife were drivingto a restaurant. Suddenly helooked down and spotted ahigh-heel shoe half hidden underthe passenger seat. Not wantingto be conspicuous, he waiteduntil his wife was lookingout her window before hescooped up the shoe andtossed it out of thecar.

With a sigh of relief,he pulled into the restaurantparking lot. That's when henoticed his wife squirming aroundin her seat. "Honey," sheasked, "have you seen myother shoe?"

CHIC GIY U RI ?

Mt bui ti c mtngi n ng li xech c th k vnh sau khi c taung hi nhiu ti batic chiu i c quan.Mc d y l mthnh vi v t nhnganh ta quyt nh khngni cho v- ngi hayni ghen d dng -nghe.

Ti hm sau, ngi nng v v nh xen mt nh hng. Thnhlnh anh ta nhn xungv nhn ra mt chicgiy cao gt n mtna di gh khch. Khngmun b ch , anhta i ti lc vnhn ra ca s trckhi anh ta anh taht chic giy ln vqung khi xe.

Vi mt hi th nhnhm, anh ta li xevo bi u xe. Chnhlc anh ta ch thy v loay hoayquanh gh ngi. "Anh yu,"c ta hi, " anhc thy chic giy kiaca em khng?"

DUMMY HUSBAND

A man asked his wife,"if you could have anythingin the world for oneday, what would you want?"

"I'd love to be sixagain," she replied.

On the morning of herbirthday, he got her upbright and early and offthey went to a localtheme park. What a day!He put her on everyride in the park: theDeath Slide, the Screaming Loop,the Wall of Fear, everythingthere was! Wow! Five hourslater she staggered out ofthe theme park, her headreeling and her stomach upsidedown. Off to a McDonald'sthey went, where her husbandordered her a Big Macalong with extra fries anda refreshing chocolate shake. Thenit was off to amovie: the latest Hollywood blockbuster,hot dogs, popcorn, Pepsi Colaand M & M's. Whata fabulous adventure!

Finally she wobbled home withher husband and collapsed intobed. He leaned over andlovingly asked, "Well, dear, whatwas it like being sixagain?"

One eye opened. "You dummy,I meant my dress size."

NGI CHNG NG NGHCH

Mt ngi n ng hiv:"Nu em c th cmi th trn th giitrong mt ngy, em smun g?"

"Em mun tr li nhhi su," nng p.

Vo bui sng sinh nhtnng, anh ta nh thcnng dy rt sm vh i n mt cngvin ch 1 trong vng.ng l mt ngy vui!Anh ta t nng lnmi th tr chi trongcng vin: ng trt Chtngi, Vng nho ln Kutht, Bc tng S hi,mi th! Ht xy! Nmting sau nng lo oi ra khi cng vin,u c quay cung vbng nh ln xung. Hi vo mt nh hngMcDonald, ngi chng gi mtci bnh kp tht lnthm vi tht ram vmt ly scla trng khuy.Sau h i ti mtrp chiu phim: b phimthnh cng nht, mi nhtHollywood, hot dog, bp n,Pepsi Cola. Qu l mtcuc chi tuyt vi!

Sau cng nng i longchong v nh vi chngv sp xung ging.Anh ta ng ngi vhi mt cch u ym:"y, em yu, tr linh hi su tui thnh th no?"

Nng m mt mt:" Oianh ng nghch, emmun ni c o ssu."

A NEW MACHINE

The doctor asked the expectantfather to try out amachine he had invented thattransferred labour pains from themother to the father. Billyagreed and the machine wasset up. But although itwas set to its highestsetting, Billy felt not

a twinge.

Later that day he wenthome to pick up afew items his wife wantedand discovered the milkman lyingon his door step groaningin pain.

CHIC MY MI

Mt bc s hi mtngi chng c v spsinh rng c mun thchic my ng ta misng ch chuyn cn au t ngi m sangngi cha khng.Billy ng v chic my c civo.Nhng mc d chic my chy ht cng sutBilly cng khng thy aun g c.

Sau anh ta vnh ly vi thv yu cu v thyngi a sa ang nmtrc ca rn r aun.

DRUNK

Bob visited his friend Joe'shouse and was amazed athow well Joe treated hiswife. He told her severaltimes how attractive she was,complimented her on her culinaryskills and showered her withhugs and kisses.

"Gee," Bob remarked to hisfriend, "you really make abig fuss over your wife."

"I started to appreciate hermore about six months ago,"Joe said. "It has revivedour marriage, and we couldn'tbe happier."

Inspired by Joe's story, Bobhurried home, hugged his wife,told her how much heloved her, and said hewanted to hear all abouther day. Instead she burstinto tears.

"Darling," Bob said, "whatever's thematter?"

"This has been the worstday I've had for along time," she replied. "Thismorning Billy fell off hisbike and hurt his ankle,then the washing machine brokedown. Now, to top itoff, you come home drunk!"

SAY

Bob n thm nh Joev kinh ngc trc lii x tt ca bni vi v.Anh ta nivi v n my lnl nng hp dn rasao, ca tng ti nun kho lo ca nngv m hn v nhma.

"A," Bob lu bn,"anhquan trng ha v anhln y."

"Ti bt u nh ginng cao hn t khongsu thng nay," Joe ni."iu lm sng li hnnhn ca chng ti, vchng ti hnh phc n khng th hnh phchn c na."

Ly cm hng ca bn,Bob vi v v nh,m v, ni cho nngnghe l anh yu nngbit bao nhiu, v nianh mun nghe mt ngynng lm vic ra sao.Thayvo nng bng akhc.

"Em yu," Bob ni, "Vicg xy ra vi emvy?"

" y l ngy tit nht ca em lunay," nng p." Sng nayBilly t xe p vb au mt c, sau my git b h.Bygi, thm vo , anhli say xn v nh!"

HOW TO BUY A PRESENT?

A man walked into adepartment store and told anassistant he'd like to buya present for his wife.

"Certainly, sir," replied the assistant."Perhaps a dress or ablouse?"

"Anything," said the man.

"And in what colour?"

"It doesn't matter."

"Size?"

"Immaterial."

Seeing the assistant's confusion, theman explained that whenever hebought his wife something shewould always take it backto the shop and exchangeit.

"Why don't you get agift voucher instead?" the assistantasked him.

"Oh no," said the man."That would be too impersonal."

LM TH NO MUAMT MN QU?

Mt ngi n ng ivo mt gian ca hngv ni vi ngi bnhng ng ta mun muamt mn qu cho v.

"c, tha ng," ngi bnhng p. "C l mtci o m hay mtci o cnh c chng?"

"G cng c," ngi nng ni.

"Cn mu?"

"Khng quan trng."

"C?"

"Chuyn nh."

Thy s lng tng cangi bn hng, ngi nng gii thch rng mikhi ng ta mua chov ci g thb ta lun em ntr li shop v i.

"Ti sao ng khng muamt phiu tr tinthay vo ?" ngi bnhng hi.

" khng," ngi n ngni. "Nh th th quv tnh."

RELATIVES ?

A couple drove several milesdown a country road, notsaying a word.

An earlier discussion had ledto an argument, and neitherwanted to concede their position.As they passed a barnyardof mules and pigs, thewife sarcastically asked, "Relatives ofyours?"

"Yep," the husband replied, "In-laws."

B CON ?

Mt cp v chng lixe i vi dm xungmt con ng ng qu,khng ni mt li.Mt cuctranh lun trc gy ra mt cuc tranhci, v khng ngi nomun nhn quan im camnh thua.Trong khi h iqua sn nui la vheo, ngi v hi mtcch ch nho: "B conca ng phi khng ?"

"ng," ngi chng tr li," Bn pha v."

YOUR HORSE CALLED LAST NIGHT

A woman came up behindher husband while he wasenjoying his morning coffee andslapped him on the backof the head. "I founda piece of paper inyour trouser pocket with thename Marylou written on it,"she said, furious. "You'd betterhave an explanation."

"Calm down, dear," the manreplied. "Remember last week whenI was at the races?That was the name ofthe horse I backed."

The next morning, his wifewhacked him again. "What wasthat for?" he groaned.

"Your horse called last night,"she said.

CON NGA NG GI TIQUA

Mt b v i npha sau chng v vvo sau u ng tatrong khi ng ta angung c ph sng."Ti tmthy mt mnh giy trongqun ng c ci tnMary," b ta ni mtcch gin d."ng nn giithch."

"Bnh tnh no, em yu,"ng ta gii thch." Emc nh tun qua anhxem ua nga khng? l tn con ngc anhnh cuc."

Sng hm sau, b vli pht mnh ng tamt ci."Ti sao em lmth?" ng ta rn r.

"Con nga ca ng git qua," b ta ni.

WE'VE SAVED ENOUGH MONEY

After years of scrimping andsaving, a husband told hiswife the good news: "Darling,we've finally saved enough tobuy what we started savingfor in 1979."

"You mean a brand newJaguar?" she asked eagerly.

"No," he replied, "a 1979Jaguar."

CHNG TA TIT KIM TIN

Sau nhiu nm keo kitv tit kim, chng bovi v mt tin mng:"Emyu, cui cng chng ta tit kim tin mua ci m chngta bt u dnhtrong nm 1979."

" anh mun ni mtchic Jaguar mi phi khng?" ngi v hn h.

"Khng," ngi chng tr li,"mt chic Jaguar i 1979."

DEATHBED CONFESSION

Jake was on his deathbed.His wife, Susan, was maintaininga vigil by his side.She held his fragile hand,and tears ran down herface. Her praying roused himfrom his slumber. He lookedup and his pale lipsbegan to move slightly.

"My darling Susan," he whispered.

"Hush, my love," she said."Rest. Don't talk."

He was insistent. "Susan," hesaid in his tired voice."I have something I mustconfess to you."

"There's nothing to confess," repliedthe weeping Susan. "Everything's allright, go to sleep."

"No, no. I must diein peace, Susan. I sleptwith your sister, your bestfriend, and your mother."

"I know," she replied. "That'swhy I poisoned you."

TH TI LC LM CHUNG

Jake ang lc lm chung.V anh, Susan, ang thcgic bn cnh anh ta.Chang cm bn tay yut ca anh, v ncmt chy xung mt ch.Li cu nguyn ca chnh thc anh khi gicng. Anh nhn ln vi mi nht nht caanh bt u hi nhcnhch.

"Susan yu qu ca anh,"anh ta th thm.

"Im i, anh yu," chta ni. "Hy ngh ngi.ng ni."

Anh ta vn c tiptc. "Susan," anh ta nivi ging mt mi. "Anhc iu phi th nhnvi em."

"Khng c g phi thnhn c," Susan khc lctr li. "Mi vic un c, hy ng i."

"Khng, khng.Anh phi cht trongthanh thn, Susan. Anh ng vi em gi em,bn thn em v mem."

"Em bit," ch ta trli. "iu ti saoem u c anh."

AFTER THE HONEY MOON

A young couple got marriedand left on their honeymoon.When they got back, thebride immediately called her mother.

"Well, how was the honeymoon?"asked the mother.

"Oh mamma!" she exclaimed. "Thehoneymoon was wonderful! So romantic!"No sooner had she spokenthe words then she burstout crying. "But mamma .. . as soon aswe returned, Sam started usingthe most horrible language. He'sbeen saying things I've neverheard before! All these awful4-letter words! You've got tocome get me and takeme home... "

"Now Sarah . . ."her mother answered. "Calm down!Tell me,what could be soawful? What 4-letter words hashe been using?"

"Please don't make me tellyou, mamma." wept the daughter."I'm so embarrassed! They're justtoo awful! You've got tocome get me and takeme home... please mamma!"

"Darling, you must tell mewhat has you so upset. . . Tell yourmother these horrible 4-letter words!"

Still sobbing, the bride replied,"Oh, mamma . . .words like dust, wash, iron,and cook!"

SAU TUN TRNG MT

Mt cp trai gi trci nhau v i hngtun trng mt. Khi hquay li, ngay lp tcc du gi in thoicho m.

"No, tun trng mt rasao? " ngi m hi.

", m !" c tala ln. "Tun trng mtth tuyt! Rt lng mn!"Chng my chc sau khini ra c ta akhc. "Nhng m ...va khi ti con quayv, Sam bt u dngngn ng kinh khip nht.Anh y ni nhngth con cha bao ginghe trc y! Tt cu l nhng t bnch ci1 ng s! Mphi n n con va con v nh ..."

"No Sarah ..." m cta tr li. "Bnh tnhno! Ni cho m nghe,ci g m qu ngs vy? Nhng t bnch ci no m anhta s dng?"

"ng bt con k chom nghe, m ." ngicon gi khc. "Con angtht bi ri! Nhng ch qu d s! Mphi n n con va con v nh ...nghe m!"

"Con yu, con phi nicho m nghe ci glm con qu bi rinh vy ... Hy nicho m nghe nhng tbn ch ci kinh khipny!"

Vn cn thn thc, cdu tr li, ", m... nhng t nh rc,git, i, v nu nng!"

I HAVE TO SHOW HER...

Everybody's heard of the AirForce's ultra-high-security,super-secret base in Nevada,known simply as "Area 51?"

Late one afternoon, the AirForce folks out at Area51 were very surprised tosee a Cessna landing attheir "secret" base. They immediatelyimpounded the aircraft and hauledthe pilot into an interrogationroom.

The pilot's story was thathe took off from Vegas,got lost, and spotted theBase just as he wasabout to run out offuel. The Air Force starteda full FBI background checkon the pilot and heldhim overnight during the investigation.

By the next day, theywere finally convinced that thepilot really was lost andwasn't a spy. They gassedup his air-plane, gave hima terrifying "you-did-not-see-a-base" briefing, completewith threats of spending therest of his life inprison, told him Vegas wasthat-a-way on such-and-such a heading,and sent him on hisway.

The next day, to thetotal disbelief of the AirForce, the same Cessna showedup again. Once again, theMP's surrounded the plane...only thistime there were two peopleinside.

The same pilot jumped outand said, "Do anything youwant to me, but mywife is in the planeand you have to tellher where I was lastnight!"

TI PHI CH RA CHOC Y

C ai nghe vcn c cc k anninh, siu b mt cakhng lc (M) Nevada,c bit di tn gin gin "Vng 51?"

Vo mt bui chiu mun,ngi khng lc Vng51 rt ngc nhin thymt chic Cessna h cnhti cn c "b mt"ca h. H lp tcnht chic my bay vli phi cng vo phngthm vn.

Cu chuyn ca vin phicng l anh ta ctcnh t Vegas, b lcv pht hin ra cnc ngay khi anh tasp ht nhin liu. Khnglc bt u mt cuckim tra thng tin cnthit ca FBI v vinphi cng v gi anhta qua m trong sutcuc phng vn.

Vo ngy hm sau, cuicng h tin rng vinphi cng lc thc sv khng phi l mtgin ip. H cung cpnhin liu cho chic mybay, a cho anh tamt ch dn ng s"anh khng thy mtcn c", cng vi nhngli e da anh tas t sut qungi cn li, ni vianh ta Vegas c ngbay nh th, nh th,v tin anh ta lnng.

Ngy hm sau, trong sbt ng khng th tinc ca khng lc, cngchic Cessna xut hintr li. Mt ln na,qun cnh bao quanh chicmy bay ... nhng lnny c hai ngi bntrong.

Cng vin phi cng nhy ra v ni:"Cc nglm g ti cng c,nhng v ti ang trn my bay v ccng phi ni vi cy ti qua ti u!"

I JUST HAD A DREAMABOUT IT ...

A young woman was takingan afternoon nap. After shewoke up, she told herhusband, "I just dreamed thatyou gave me a pearlnecklace for Valentine's day. Whatdo you think it means?"

"You'll know tonight." he said.

That evening, the man camehome with a small packageand gave it to hiswife. Delighted, she opened it--onlyto find a book entitled"The meaning of dreams".

EM C MT GIC MV IU ...

Mt ph n tr ngtra. Sau khi c thcdy, c ni vi chng:"Em m ng rng anhtng em mt chui htngc trai trong ngy Valentine.Anh ngh n c ngha g?

"Ti nay em s bit."anh ta ni.

Chiu ti hm , ngin ng i v nhvi mt gi nh vtng v. Ngi v vuimng m n ra -ch thy mt cunsch ta " ngha canhng gic m."

DON'T MESS WITH THE MAID

A rich Beverly Hills ladygot very angry at herFrench maid.After a long listof stinging remarks about hershortcomings as a cook andhousekeeper, she dismissed the maid.

The maid, with her Gaelicancestry, couldn't allow such abuseto go unanswered. "Your husbandconsiders me a better housekeeperand cook than you, Madam.He has told me himself."

The rich woman just swallowedand said nothing. "And furthermore,"the angry girl continued, "Iam better in bed thanyou!"

"And I suppose my husbandtold you that, too?"

"No, Madam," said he maid."Not your husband, the mailman!"

NG LN XN VI NGIGIP VIC NH

Mt qu b BeverlyHills ni gin c gipvic ngi Php. Sau mtbn danh sch di nhngnhn xt kh chu vnhng li ca c takhi nu n v qungia, b ui c gipvic.

Ngi gip vic, vi dngmu Celte, khng th chpnhn mt s lng mnh vy ra ikhng c cu tr li."Chng b xem ti lmt ngi qun gia vnu n tt hn b,tha b.Chnh ng nivi ti."

Ngi n b giu cch nn nhn v khngni g. "V hn na,"c gi gin d tiptc, " trn ging tigii hn b !"

"V ti cho rng chngti cng ni vi ciu ?"

"Khng, tha b," ngi gipvic ni. "Khng phi chngb, ng a th !"

FRIEND FOR DINNER

"Honey," said this husband tohis wife, "I invited afriend home for supper."

"What? Are you crazy? Thehouse is a mess, Ihaven't been shopping, all thedishes are dirty, and Idon't feel like cooking afancy meal!"

"I know all that."

"Then why did you invitea friend for supper?"

"Because the poor fool's thinkingabout getting married."

BN N TI

"Em yu," chng ni viv, "Anh mi mtngi bn n nh tan ti."

"Ci g?Anh c in khng?Nh ca th ln xn,em th cha i ch,chn a th d, vem khng mun nu mtba n k khi !"

"Anh bit ht ri."

"Vy ti sao anh mibn n ti?"

"V thng ng ti nghipang ngh n vic civ."

THE SECRET

Jill complained to Nina, "Roseytold me that you toldher the secret I toldyou not to tell her."

"Well," replied Nina in ahurt tone, "I told hernot to tell you Itold her."

"Oh dear!" sighed Jill. "Well,don't tell her I toldyou that she told me."

IU B MT

Jill than phin vi Nina:"Roseyni vi anh rng emni vi c ta iub mt anh nivi em ng ni vic ta."

"," Nina tr li viging t i:" Em ni vi c ta ngni vi anh em ni vi c ta."

"i tri!" Jill th di."Thi, ng ni vi cta anh ni viem rng c ta nivi anh."

THE STATUE

A woman was in bedwith her lover when sheheard her husband opening thefront door.

"Hurry!" she said. "Stand inthe corner." She quickly rubbedbaby oil all over himand then she dusted himwith talcum powder. "Don't moveuntil I tell you to,"she whispered. "Just pretend you'rea statue."

"What's this honey?" the husbandinquired as he entered theroom.

"Oh, its just a statue,"she replied nonchalantly. "The Smithsbought one for their bedroom.I liked it so much,I got one for ustoo."

No more was said aboutthe statue, not even laterthat night when they wentto sleep. Around two inthe morning the husband gotout of bed, went tothe kitchen and returned awhile later with a sandwichand a glass of milk."Here," he said to the'statue', "eat something. I stoodlike an idiot at theSmith's for three days andnobody offered me so muchas a glass of water.

BC TNG

Mt ph n ang nmtrn ging vi ngi tnhth c ta nghe ngichng m ca trc.

"Nhanh ln!" c ta ni."ng trong gc nh." Cta nhanh chng xoa dutr em ln khp ngianh ta v sau rc bt talc ln ngianh ta. "ng c ngcho n khi no embo anh," c ta ththm. "Hy tng tng anhl mt bc tng."

"y l ci g vyem yn?" ngi chng hikhi bc vo phng.

", ch l mtbc tng," c ta trli mt cch th ."Gia nh Smiths mua mtci t trong phng ngca h. Em rt thch,em cng mua mt cicho nh ta."

Khng ai ni g vbc tng na, thm chc khuya hm lch i ng. Vo khonghai gi sng, ngi chngthc dy, i vo nhbp v quay li mtlc sau vi mt cibnh sandwich v mt lysa. "y," anh ta nivi "bc tng" , "nci g i ch. Ting nh mt thng ngc nh Smith trong 3ngy v khng ai acho ti ngay n cmt ly nc.

WISDOM TEETH

One day a man walksinto a dentist's office andasks how much it willcost to extract wisdom teeth.

"Eighty dollars," the dentist says.

"That's a ridiculous amount," theman says. "Isn't there acheaper way?"

"Well," the dentist says, "ifyou don't use an anaesthetic,I can knock it downto $60."

"That's still too expensive," theman says.

"Okay," says the dentist. "IfI save on anesthesia andsimply rip the teeth outwith a pair of pliers,I could get away withcharging $20."

"Nope," moans the man, "it'sstill too much."

"Hmm," says the dentist, scratchinghis head. "If I letone of my students doit for the experience, Isuppose I could charge youjust $10."

"Marvelous," says the man, "bookmy wife for next Tuesday!"

RNG KHN

Mt ngy kia, mt ngin ng bc vo mtphng nha s v higi nh rng khn lbao nhiu.

"Tm mi la," nhas ni.

" l mt con sl lng," ngi n ngni. "C cch no rhn khng?"

"," nha s ni, "nung khng dng thuc t,ti c th h gixung cn 60 la."

"Nh vy vn cn qut," ngi n ng ni.

"c ri," nha s ni."Nu ti tit kim thuct v ch li totrng ra vi mt cikm th ti c thtnh gi 20 la."

"Khng," ngi n ng rnr, "nh vy vn cnqu nhiu."

"Hm," nha s gi uni. Nu ti mttrong nhng sinh vin cati lm thm kinhnghim th ti cho lti c th tnh gich 10 la."

"Tuyt," ngi n ng ni,"t trc cho v tivo th Ba ti !"

HOW DID YOU DIE ?

Two men waiting at thepearly gates strike up aconversation. The first man asksthe second. "So, how'd youdie?"

"I froze to death," saysthe second.

"That's awful," says the firstman. "How does it feelto freeze to death?"

"It's very uncomfortable at first",says the second man. "Youget the shakes, and youget pains in all yourfingers and toes. But eventually,it's a very calm wayto go. You get numband you kind of driftoff, as if you're sleeping.How about you, how didyou die?"

"I had a heart attack,"says the first man. "Yousee, I knew my wifewas cheating on me, soone day I showed upat home unexpectedly. I ranup to the bedroom, andfound her alone, knitting. Iran down to the basement,but no one was hidingthere, either. I ran upto the second floor, butno one was hiding thereeither. I ran as fastas I could to theattic,

and just as I gotthere, I had a massiveheart attack and died."

The second man shakes hishead. "That's so ironic," hesays.

"What do you mean?" Asksthe first man.

"If you had only stoppedto look in the freezer,we'd both still be alive."

NG CHT NH TH NO?

Hai ngi n ng i cng ngc bt umt cuc ni chuyn. Ngith nht hi ngi thhai: "Sao ng cht vy?"

"Ti b ng bng ncht," ngi th hai ni.

"Tht khng khip," ngi thnht ni. "ng cm thyra sao khi b ngbng ti cht?"

"Trc ht ng cm thyrt kh chu", ngi thhai ni. "ng b run,v ng cm thy au tt c cc ngntay v chn. Nhng cuicng s cm thy rtm m ra i.

ng b t cng vng cm thy kiu nhtri i, nh th ngang ng. Cn ng thsao, ng cht nh thno?"

"Ti b au tim," ngin ng th nht ni."ng coi, ti bit vti ang la di ti,v vy mt ngy kiati xut hin bt ng nh. Ti chy lnphng ng, v thy cta mt mnh ang an. Ti chy xung tnghm nhng cng khng ainp . Ti chyln tng hai, nhng cngkhng ai np .Ti chy ht sc tiln gc mi, nhng khiti va n thti b mt cn autim nng v cht."

Ngi n ng th hailc u. "Tht qu mamai," ng ta ni.

"ng mun ni g?" ngin ng th nht hi.

"Nu ng ch vic dngli nhn v myp lnh th hai tahn cn sng."

WHY MY MOM LEARNT TOPLAY CLARINET?

My parents recently retired. Momalways wanted to learn toplay the piano, so dadbought her a piano forher birthday.A few weeks later,I asked how she wasdoing with it.

"Oh, we returned the piano."said My Dad, "I persuadedher to switch to aclarinet instead."

"How come?" I asked.

"Because," he answered, "with aclarinet, she can't sing."

TI SAO M TI HCCHI CLARINET?

Ba m ti gn yngh hu. M ti lunmun hc chi piano, vvy ba ti mua chob mt ci trong ngysinh nht. Mt vi tunsau, ti hi b chin nh th no.

", ba m tr licy n piano." Ba ni,"ba thuyt phc m thayvo chuyn sang chiclarinet."

"Sao vy?" ti hi.

"V," ng tr li, "vimt cy clarinet, m khngth ht."

PREGNANT

Since the wife is eightmonths into her pregnancy, thehusband has to sleep onthe floor to avoid anyregrettable mistake, which might happenpretty easily, for he hasbeen desperate for quite awhile now...

Just before lying down onthe bed, she glances athim and sees the poorguy curls up on thefloor, eyes stare widely intothe empty air, filled withhopeless desire...

Feeling sorry for her husband,she opens the top drawerof the cabinet, takes outa fifty dollar bill, andgives it to him, "Awww,my honey is so depressed...here, take this and goto the woman next door,she will let you sleepwith her tonight... and rememberthat this happens only once...ok?... don't think about itagain."

The husband rolls his eyesin disbelief, but afraid thatshe may change her mind,he grabs the money andleaves quickly. A few minuteslater, he returns, hands thebill back to the wifeand says with much disappointment,

"She said this is notenough, she wants sixty."

The wife's face slowly turnsred with anger, "Damn thatbitch... when she was pregnantand her husband came overhere... I only charged himfifty..."

C BU

V v mang bu thngth tm nn ngi chngphi ng trn nn nh trnh bt c saist ng tic no vnkh d xy ra, vanh ta tng liulnh trong mt lc chon lc y...

Ngay trc khi nm xungging, ngi v lic nhnchng v thy anh chngti nghip co mnh trnsn nh, mt m totrng trng vo khong khngy ham mun tuyt vng...

Cm thy ti nghip chochng, v m ngn kotrn cng ca t, lyra mt t giy bcnm mi la va cho anh ta," ,cng ca em qu bun... y, cm ci nyv i ti c kbn nh, c ta scho anh ng vi cta m nay ... vnh rng vic ny chxy ra mt ln thi... c ch? ... ngngh ti iu lnna nh."

Ngi chng trn mt trongs hoi nghi, nhng srng v c th thayi kin, anh tacm tin v nhanh chngri i. Mt vi phtsau, anh ta quay li,a t bc li chov v ni vi nhiutht vng:

"C ta ni nh vyth khng , c tamun su chc."

Khun mt ngi v dndn bng v gin,"Con ch ci ng nguynra ... khi n cbu v chng n iqua y ... tao chi chng n c nmchc..."

MILLIONAIRE

A woman was telling herfriend, "It is I whomade my husband a millionaire."

"And what was he beforeyou married him?" asked thefriend.

The woman replied, "A billionaire..."

TRIU PH

Mt ph n ni vibn:"Chnh ti l ngi lmchng ti thnh mt triuph."

"V ng l g trckhi bn ci ng?" ngibn hi.

Ngi ph n p:"Mt tph..."

MALE LOGIC

A man and his wifeare in court getting adivorce.

The problem was who shouldget custody of the child.

The wife jumped up andsaid, "Your Honor. I broughtthe child into this worldwith pain and labor. Sheshould be in my custody."

The judge turns to thehusband and says, "What doyou have to say inyour defense?"

The man sat for awhile contemplating...then slowly rose.

"Your Honor, if I puta dollar in a vendingmachine and a Pepsi comesout...whose Pepsi is it...the machine'sor mine?"

LOGIC N NG

Mt ngi n ng vv anh ta ang trong ta n ly d.

Vn l ai sgim h a tr.

Ngi v nhy ln vni:"Tha qu ngi, ti a a tr vo thgii ny trong cc nhcv cn au .N ngra phi trong sgim h ca ti."

Quan ta quay qua ngichng v ni:"ng phi nig bin h?"

Ngi n ng ngi xungtrm ngm mt hi ...sau t t ngdy.

"Tha qu ngi, nu tit mt la vomy bn hng v mtlon Pepsi i ra ...lon Pepsi l ca ai... ca my hay cati?"

MEDICAL MIRACLE

An 80 year woman marriedan 85-year-old man. After aboutsix months together, the womanwasn't feeling well and shewent to her doctor.

The doctor examined and said,"Congratulations Mrs. Jones, you're goingto be a mother."

"Get serious doctor, I'm 80."

"I know," said the doctor,"This morning, I would havesaid it was impossible, butthis afternoon you are amedical miracle."

"I'll be darned," she repliedand stormed out of theoffice. She walked down thehall and around the cornerto where the telephones were.In a rage, she dialedher husband.

"Hello," she heard in hisfamiliar halting voice.

She screamed, "You rotten SOB.You got me pregnant!"

There was a pause onthe line. Finally, her husbandanswered, "Who's calling please?"

PHP L Y HC

Mt b lo 80 tuici mt ng lo 85tui. Sau su thng chungsng, b lo cm thykhng khe v b ibc s.

Bc s khm v ni:"Xinchc mng, bc Jones, bcs l mt b m."

"Hy nghim tc, bc s,ti 80 tui.

"Chu bit," bc s ni,"sngnay, chu hn s niiu ny bt kh, nhngchiu nay bc l mtphp l y hc."

"Ti s b nguyn ra,"b lo tr li vi xc ra khi phngmch. B i xung hnhlang v quanh gc nhni in thoi. Trongmt cn gin, b quays gi chng.

"Hello," b nghe ging ngpngng quen thuc ca ng.

B la ln:"ng CH i bi. ng lmti mang thai.

Trn ng dy ngng limt t. Cui cng, chngb tr li:"Xin vui lngcho bit ai ang gi?"

SPEEDING...

A Guy and his wifeare driving a car alonga twisty road with a55MPH limit. Cop pulls theguy over.

"Had you going about 70in 55 back there," saysthe cop.

"Not me," says the guy,"Could be your radar pickedup someone else or something,but my speedometer was setright on 55."

Wife pipes up, "You wereto going 70. I've toldyou 20 mile back youwere going to get stoppedif you didn't slow down."

"Shut up would ya!" mumblesthe guy.

"Can I see your proofof insurance?" asks the cop.

"Sure, my card is righthere in my wallet."

Wife says, "That card's nogood and you know it.You haven't paid the lastpremium and the company sentyou a cancellation notice."

"Damn," yells the guy. "Wouldyou shut the hell upfor once"

"Ma'am," says the cop, "Doesthis guy always talk toyou like this?"

"Only when he's been drinking."

CHY QU TC ...

Mt g n ng vv ang li mt chicxe hi trn con ngtrn con ng khc khuuc gii hn tc 55 dm/gi. Cnh st lnhcho anh ta dng vov ng.

"ng chy khong 70trong gii hn 55 phasau kia," cnh st ni.

"Khng phi ti," g ni,"c th radar cc ngqut ai khc hocvt g , nhng cngt mt ca ti chng 55."

Ngi v ni to ln:"anhchy 70. Em nianh gim 20 dm anhs b dng nu anhkhng chy chm xung."

"Cm m b li!" glm bm.

"Ti c th xem giyt bo him khng?" cnhst hi.

"c, th ca ti ngay trong bp ti."

V ni:"Th khng thchhp v anh bit vy.Anh cha tr tin phbo him va ri vcng ty gi anhmt thng bo hy b."

"M kip," g tht ln."B c chu cm cimm ch cht ca bmt ln khng."

"Tha b," cnh st ni,"ng ny c lun nivi b nh th nykhng?"

"Ch khi ng y ung ru."

ROMANCE

An older couple was lyingin bed one night. Thehusband was falling asleep butthe wife felt romantic andwanted to talk. She said,"You use to hold myhand when we were courting."

Wearily he reached across, heldher hand for a second,then tried to get backto sleep.

A few moments later shesaid, "Then you used tokiss me." Mildly irritated, hereached across, gave her apeck on the cheek andsettled down to sleep.

Thirty seconds later she said,"Then you used to bitemy neck." Angrily, he threwback the bed covers andgot out of bed.

"Where are you going?" sheasked.

"To get my teeth!"

LNG MN

Mt ti kia, mt cpv chng c tui angnm trn ging. Ngi chngri vo gic ng nhngngi v cm thy tnhcm dng trong lng vmun ni chuyn. B ni:"Anhthng cm tay em khichng ta yu nhau."

Mt cch mt mi, ngvn ngang tay, cm tayb trong mt giy, sau c quay li gicng.

Mt lt sau b ni:"Sau anh thng hn em."Hi bc dc, ng vnngi qua, hn vi mtci trn m v nmxung ng.

Ba mi giy sau, bni:"Sau anh thng cnc em." in tit, ngqung tm tri ging vnhy ra khi ging.

"Anh i u?" b hi.

"Ly hm rng!"

FORGET IT

"The thrill is gone frommy marriage," Bill told hisfriend Doug.

"Why not add some intrigueto your life and havean affair?" Doug suggested.

"But what if my wifefinds out?"

"Heck, this is a newage we live in, Bill.Go ahead and tell herabout it!"

So Bill went home andsaid, "Dear, I think anaffair will bring us closertogether."

"Forget it," said his wife."I've tried that - itnever worked."

QUN IU I

"Hn nhn ca ti khngcn g th v na,"Bill ni vi bn Doug.

"Ti sao khng thm sngoi tnh vo cuc ibn v c thm mtmi tnh?" Doug ngh

"Nhng v ti tm rath sao?"

" qu, chng ta angsng trong mt thi imi, Bill . Hy thv ni vi c yv iu !"

Th l Bill v nhv ni:"Cng, anh ngh mtmi tnh s lm chochng ta gn nhau hn."

"Qun iu i," vni. "Em th ri- cha bao gi hiuqu."

ON THE ROAD

After weeks on the roadan over the road truckerpulled into a brothel.The truckerwalked up to the madam,slapped $500.00 on the counterand demanded "Give me abologna sandwich and the ugliest,meanest, most foul tempered womanin the house."

The madam looked at thetrucker and exclaimed, "Sir forthis kind of money youcan have the best steakwith all the trimmings andtwo of the prettiest girlsin the state."

The trucker slowly looked upand with a tear inhis eye said, "You don'tunderstand, I'm not hungry orlooking for company, I'm homesick!"

TRN NG I

Sau hng tun trn ngi, mt ti x xeti chy vo mt nhcha. ng ta bc tib ch cha, p 500 la trn quy vra lnh:"Cho ti mt sanwichbologna v mt em xunht, hn h nht, tnhtnh tm nht trong nhny."

T b nhn ti xv la ln:"Tha ng, vis tin ny ng cth n mn steak ngonnht v hai em dthng nht bang."

Ti x t t nhnln v vi git ncmt trong mt, anh tani:"B khng hiu, ti khngi v tm bn tnh,ti nh nh!"

WHAT MEN REALLY MEAN

"I'm going fishing."

Really means...

"I'm going to drink myself, and stand by astream with a stick inmy hand, while the fishswim by in complete safety."

"Woman driver."

Really means...

"Someone who doesn't speed, tailgate,swear, make obscene gestures andhas a better driving recordthan me."

"It's a guy thing."

Really means...

"There is no rational thoughtpattern connected with it, andyou have no chance atall of making it logical."

"Uh huh," "Sure, honey," or"Yes, dear."

Really means...

Absolutely nothing. It's a conditionedresponse like Pavlov's dog drooling.

"My wife doesn't understand me."

Really means...

"She's heard all my storiesbefore, and is tired ofthem."

"It would take too longto explain."

Really means...

"I have no idea howit works."

"Take a break, honey, you'reworking too hard."

Really means...

"I can't hear the gameover the vacuum cleaner."

"It's a really good movie."

Really means...

"It's got guns, knives, fastcars, and Heather Locklear."

"That's women's work."

Really means...

"It's difficult, dirty, and thankless."

"Go ask your mother."

Really means...

"I am incapable of makinga decision."

"I do help around thehouse."

Really means...

"I once put a dirtytowel in the laundry basket."

"I can't find it."

Really means...

"It didn't fall into myoutstretched hands, so I'm completelyclueless."

IU N NG THC SNI

"Ti s i cu c."

Ngha thc s...

"Ti s i ung rumt mnh, v ng bndng nc vi cn cutrong tay trong khi cbi bn cnh an tontuyt i.

"Ti x n."

Ngha thc s ...

"Ai khng chy nhanh,khng bm ui xe khcmt cch nguy him, khngc nhng c ch tctu v c tin sli xe tt hn ti."

" l mt vn n ng."

Ngha thc s ...

"Khng c mt kiu musuy ngh l tr nokt ni vi n, vbn khng c c hino lm n clogic."

" h," ", cng," hoc"Vng, em yu."

Ngha thc s...

Tuyt i chng c g. l mt phn xc iu kin nh chca Paplop chy nc di.

"V ti khng hiu ti."

Ngha thc s...

"C y nghe ttc cc cu chuyn cati trc , v mtmi v chng."

gii thch th qudi.

Ngha thc s...

"Ti khng c king n xy ra nhth no."

"Hy tm ngh, cng, emlm vic qu nng."

Ngha thc s...

"Ti khng th nghe trchi ca my ht bi."

" l mt phim haythc s."

Ngha thc s...

"N c sng, dao, xephng nhanh, v Heather Locklear."

" l mt cng vicph n."

Ngha thc s...

" l mt cng vickh khn, d bn, vkhng c bit n."

"i hi m em."

Ngha thc s...

"Anh bt lc trong vica ra mt quyt nh."

"Anh qu c gip trong vic nh."

Ngha thc s...

Anh mt ln tkhn lau mt d vor git ."

"Anh khng th tm ran."

Ngha thc s...

"N khng ri vo itay vn ra ca anh,v th anh hon tonkhng c du vt."

LITTLE JOHNNY

Little Johnny's teacher sent anote home to his Mothersaying, "Johnny seems to bea very bright boy, butspends too much of histime thinking about sex andgirls."

The Mother wrote back thenext day, "If you finda solution, please advise. Ihave the same problem withhis Father."

B JOHNNY

Gio vin ca b Johnnygi mt giy bo vcho m n, vit:"Johnny cv l mt a brt sng d, nhng dngqu nhiu th gi can ngh v tnhdc v gi."

Ngi m vit li vohm sau:"Nu c tm racch gii quyt, hy khuynnh. Ti cng c cngvn vi ban."

SEX WITH GAS

There was this gas stationin "redneck country" trying toincrease its sales, so theowner put up a signsaying, "Free Sex with Fill-up."Soon, a customer pulled in,filled his tank, and thenasked for his free sex.

The owner told him topick a number from 1to 10, and if heguessed correctly, he would gethis free sex.

The buyer then guessed 8and the proprietor said, "No,but you were close. Thenumber was 7. Sorry, nofree sex this time, butmaybe next time."

Some time thereafter, the sameman, along with his buddythis time, pulled in againfor a fill-up, and againhe asked for his freesex. The proprietor again gavehim the same story, andasked him to guess thecorrect number.

The man guessed 2 thistime and the proprietor said,"Sorry, it was 3. Youwere close, but no freesex this time."

As they were driving away,the driver said to hisbuddy, "I think that gameis rigged, and he doesn'treally give away free sex."

The buddy replied, "No, it'snot rigged...my wife won twicelast week."

SEX VI DU XNG

C mt cy xng nhth "vng qu lchu" c tng s bn,v th ng ch tmt tm bng:" xng csex min ph." Chng baolu, mt khch hng ghxe vo, xng, sau hi sex min ph.

ng ch ni anh tachn mt s t 1ti 10, v nu anhta on ng, anh tas c chi min ph.

Sau ngi mua on8 v ng ch ni:"Khngng, nhng gn ng. S l 7. Xin li,ln ny khng c chimin ph, nhng ln tith c th."

Mt khong thi gian sau, cng ngi n ng, ln ny i cngvi bn, cng gh vo xng, v li lnna anh ta hi sexmin ph. ng ch lia anh ta ci thnh trc, v ni anhta on ng con s.

Ngi n ng ln nyon s 2 v ngch ni:"Xin li, l3. ng gn ng, nhngkhng chi min ph lnny c."

Trong khi h li i,ti x ni vi bn:"Tingh rng tr ny lla o, v ng takhng thc s cho chimin ph."

Ngi bn p:"Khng, n khngphi tr la o ...v ti c hai lntun qua."

TRAILING MY HUSBAND

"So," Jane asked the detectiveshe had hired. "Did youtrail my husband?"

"Yes ma'am. I did. Ifollowed him to a bar,to an out-of-the-way restaurant andthen to an apartment."

A big smile crossed Jane'sface. "Aha! I've got him!"she said gloating. "Is thereany doubt what he wasdoing?"

"No ma'am." replied the sleuth."It's pretty clear that hewas following you."

THEO DI CHNG

"Nh vy," Jane hi vinthm t c thu,"anh theo du chngti ch?"

"ng, tha b. Ti theo. Ti theo anh yti mt bar, ti mtnh hng xa ng vsau ti mt cnh."

Mt n ci r rnghin ra trn mt Jane."Aha! Ti bt clo ta!" c ni mtcch h h."C g ngng lo ta ang lmg khng?"

"Khng, tha b," thm ttr li. "Tnh hnh khr rng l anh yang theo b."

APPLYING FOR SOCIAL SECURITY

A retired gentleman went intothe social security office toapply for Social Security.

After waiting in line along time he got tothe counter. The woman behindthe counter asked him forhis drivers license to verifyhis age. He looked inhis pockets and realized hehad left his wallet athome. He told the womanthat he was very sorrybut he seemed to haveleft his wallet at home."Will I have to gohome and come back now?"he asks.

The woman says, "Unbutton yourshirt."

So he opens his shirtrevealing lots of curly silverhair.

She says, "That silver hairon your chest is proofenough for me," and sheprocessed his Social Security application.

When he gets home, theman excitedly tells his wifeabout his experience at theSocial Security office.

She said, "You should havedropped your pants, you mighthave qualified for disability, too."

NP N AN SINH XHI

Mt qu ng v hui vo vn phng ansinh x hi npn.

Sau khi i trong hngmt lc lu, ng tai ti bn nhn n.Ngi ph n ng saubn hi ng ta bngli xe thm tratui. ng ta nhn vonhng ci ti v nhnra ng ta bp nh. ng tani vi ngi n brng ng ta rt lylm tic nhng nhng ngc v nh bp nh. "Ti sphi v nh v quayli by gi khng?" ngta hi.

Ngi ph n ni:"Hy cint o s mi ngra."

V th ng ta cio s mi ng tacho thy nhiu si lngbc xon.

B ta ni:"Si lng bctrng trn ngc ngl bng chng choti," v b ta giiquyt n xin an sinhx hi ca ng.

Khi ngi n ng vnh, ng ta xc ngk cho v nghe viu ng tri qua vn phng an sinh xhi.

B ta ni:"ng m ciqun ng ra th ng c xem l b mt kh nng na."

TEN DOLLARS IS TEN DOLLARS

Stumpy Grinder and his wifeMartha were from Portland, Maine.Every year they went tothe Portland Fair and everyyear Stumpy said, "Ya know,Martha, I'd like to geta ride in that airplane."And every year, Martha wouldsay "I know, Stumpy, butthat airplane ride costs tendollars .. and ten dollarsis ten dollars."

So one year Stumpy says,"Martha, I'm 71 years old,and if I don't gothis time I may nevergo." Martha replies, "Stumpy, thatthere airplane ride is tendollars ... and ten dollarsis ten dollars."

So the pilot overhears thenand says, "Folks, I'll makeyou a deal. I'll takeyou both up for aride. If you can stayquiet for the entire rideand not say ONE WORD,then I won't charge you.But just ONE WORD andit's ten dollars."

They agree and up theygo... the pilot does allkinds of twists and turns,rolls and dives, but nota word is heard. Hedoes it one more time,and there is still noword... so he lands.

He turns to Stumpy asthey come to a stopand says, "By golly, Idid everything I could thinkof to get you toholler out, but you didn't."

And Stumpy replies "Well, Iwas gonna say something whenMartha fell out ... butten dollars is ten dollars."

MI LA L MI LA

Stumpy Grinder v v Martha Portland, Maine(Hoa K). Hngnm h i ti hich Portland v hng nmStumpy ni:"Em bit khng, Martha,anh mun ci trn mybay ." V mi nm,Martha thng ni:"Em bit, Stumpy,nhng ci my bay tn 10 la ...v mi la lmi la."

V vy mt nm kia,Stumpy ni:"Martha, anh 71tui, v nu anh khngi ln ny anh cth khng bao gi ic na." Martha tr li:"Stumpy,ci my bay ch l mi la... v mi lal mi la."

n nh th, vin phicng khi nghe lmv ni:"Hai bc, chu stha thun vi hai bc.Ti s a hai bcb i my bay. Nuhai bc c th imlng trong sut cuc chiv khng ni MT LIth chu s khng tnhtin hai bc. Nhng chmt li v nh thl 10 la."

H ng v hln my bay ... vinphi cng lm mi vngxon v quo, ln vngv b nho, nhng khngc li no c nghe.ng ta lm nh vymt ln na, nhng khngc t no ... vvy ng ta h cnh.

ng ta quay qua Stumpykhi h dng li vni:"Tri i, chu lm mith chu c th nghti lm cho haibc ku ln, nhng haibc khng ku."

V Stumpy tr li:", tisp ku ln ci g khi Martha rt ra... nhng mi lal mi la."

WHEN THERE IS A PROBLEM...

Hubby : You always carrymy photo in your handbagto the office. Why?

Wife : When there isa problem, no matter howimpossible, I look at yourpicture and the problem disappears.

Hubby : You see, howmiraculous and powerful I amfor you?

Wife : Yes, I seeyour picture and say tomyself, '"What other problem canthere be greater than thisone ?"

MI KHI C S C...

Chng: Em lun em hnhanh trong ti mang tic quan.Sao vy?

V: Mi khi c sc, khng cn bit khgii quyt nh th no,em nhn vo hnh anhv s c bin mt.

Chng: Em xem, anh kdiu v mnh m nhth no i vi em?

V: ng, em nhn hnhnh ca anh v tnh:"S c no khc cth ln hn s cny?"