A HANDBOOK ON RAISING UP YOUNG BOYS “PRE-K TO ELEMENTARY”

By: Ambereen Kalam & Ala Mohamed Ali

Raising up young boys Pre-K to Elementary

As mothers of boys and girls, it is quite easy for us to recognize

the inherent differences between the two. The question that needs attention is what do we do with these differences and how do we parent our boys so they become responsible and mature men? We as parents usually look forward to make our boys from immature and flighty youngsters into honest, caring, loyal and secure men.

In terms of anatomy the differences between boys and girls are obvious. When it comes to the brain, boys have slightly larger ones, as compared to girls. At birth their brain grows at a varying pace which eventually catches up with age.Some of the built in traits which we commonly witness as parents in our own boys are listed below.

Cognitive traits:• Boys are ahead of girls when it comes to figuring out motion.• Boys are more physical while girls are more verbal. • Boys are action oriented, bold, have more physical energy and more curious. • Boys tend to be more tactile and often they may need to be picked up and plunked in a time-out chair. • Boys have a tendency for selective hearing, often paying attention to what interests them. • Boys are more impulsive by nature, displaying haste in their work because they have less serotonin and oxytocin. • Boys prefer spatial and mechanical activities. • Boys’ cognition is compartmentalized because they have less blood

flow to the brain. • Boys prefer video games, physical and interactive activities. They like to

move around and find it difficult to sit still for a long period of time which results in poor focus and attention.

• Boys like changeling activities and taking risks.

Emotional:• When it comes to emotions; • Boys get irritated easily and find it difficult to calm themselves down in frustrating situations. • As boys are risk takers by nature, they are less fearful and bolder. • Boys find it difficult to express themselves and when under stress they prefer to be left alone.

Social:• Boys are not as social as girls are, when socializing. • Boys prefer looking at objects and groups of faces rather than focusing on an individual. • Boys communicate well socially with people who are like minded and share the same interest. • Boys may not ask for help to avoid embarrassment.

• Practical Suggestions:

To give our boys a balanced upbringing bearing in mind the wiring and working of their brain , here are some simple, realistic and useful suggestions that can benefit them.• Physical activities: Give them the opportunity for physical indoor and outdoor play time. Encourage them to do hands on activity like building blocks and construction games.• Give them responsibility:Make them share some of the responsibilities by assigning them a house hold task like tidying up their own room every day and taking care of the pet.• Girls Toys are “OK”It’s ok for boys to play with girls toys. Some boys like to play with the girls toys and it is because they have a female brain which means that he will be good at language and empathy more than the other boys who have a male brain. Let them play with girls toys, this will help create a balance in their personality and will help them develop their language development.

• Avoid telling offWe should not constantly tell them off or scold them especially in public places as they feel humiliated. This might make them aggressive and they start to tune out to your voice.On the other hand boys love HUMOR. Allow them toexpress humour in an appropriate manner.• Guide them when necessaryGive them the freedom to take risks and use theirjudgments wisely. Allow for open and friendly discussion when it is necessary to provide them with proper guidance.• Mum and son chatIn this fast paced life, it is very important for us to taketime out of our busy schedules and communicate with ourboys. This would give them a chance to express theirfeelings and emotions which will help in enhancing theirself-confidence and sense of security.• Celebrate positive behaviourEncourage positive behaviour by praising them on their achievements not only academically but in other areas like sports, creativity and behaviour.

Glossary

• Cognitive: mental action or process of acquiring knowledge

• Oxytocin: female hormone• Serotonin: chemical produced by human body

that acts as a neurotransmitter• Spatial: relating to space

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