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Preferred Citation: Lamb, Sarah. White Saris and Sweet Mangoes: Aging, Gender, and Body in North India. Berkeley:University of California Press, c2000 2000. http:ark.cdlib.or!ark:"#0#0ft$%&00'c0

White Saris and Sweet Mangoes

Aging, Gender, and Body in North India

Sarah Lamb

UNIVERSITY OF CALIFORNIA RESS

Berkeley Los Angeles London

! "### The Regents o$ the Uni%ersit& o$ Ca'i$ornia

Preferred Citation: Lamb, Sarah. White Saris and Sweet Mangoes: Aging, Gender, and Body in North India. Berkeley:University of California Press, c2000 2000. http:ark.cdlib.or!ark:"#0#0ft$%&00'c0

re$a(e(his book is abo)t a!in!, !ender, and the makin! and )nmakin! of persons. *arly on in my days in+an!aldihi the villa!e in -est Ben!al here / did most of the research for this book, / came across ahite1clothed ido in her seventies called +eo +a +iddle +other, sittin! in the d)sty lane infront of her home. She co)ld not stop complainin! abo)t clin!in!. 3er attachments to her family, tothin!s, to !ood food, and to her on body ere so ti!ht, she said, that she as afraid of lin!erin! foryears in a decrepit state, )nable to die. 43o ill / leave all these kids and thin!s and !o56 shelamented. She feared that after her body died her so)l o)ld not ascend b)t o)ld remain emotionallyshackled nearby as a !host.

*thno!raphic knoled!e is alays infl)enced by the life e7periences of the anthropolo!ist. -hatanthropolo!ists perceive in the field and hat they choose to rite primarily abo)t is hatever mattersmost to them. -hat str)ck me, hile livin! and doin! research in +an!aldihi, as not so m)ch old a!eper se, b)t the ays people tho)!ht abo)t and mana!ed one of the f)ndamental dilemmas of the lifeco)rse8its compellin! intensity, on the one hand, and its irrevocable transience, on the other8adilemma hi!hli!hted for Ben!alis and for )s all, perhaps, in some ays in late life. 9s a child livin!in northern California, / had observed a !randmother and !reat1!randmother each idoed and livin!alone in a bi!, separate ho)se. (hese older ad)lts, like my divorced parents and ad)lts in !eneral, str)ckme as very independent bein!s hose dindlin! relations ith others left them too isolated for theiron or anyone elses comfort.


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+eo +as predicament as a little different, tho)!h. She felt that her connections to others ere nottoo loose b)t too tight.9nother ancient villa!er, a spry ninety1seven1year1old Brahman ido named;h)di (hakr)n, p)rs)ed many attachments that she did not consider orrisome, even tho)!h othersdid. She lived in a ho)se ith three !enerations of descendants and daily roamed the villa!e to !ossipith friends, arran!e marria!es, seek o)t the seetest man!oes and bananas, and transact herprospero)s b)siness of moneylendin!. )r)saday +)kheree, a middle1a!edBrahman man, e7plained to me one day ith tears in his eyes: 4?/n old a!e, a person@ realiAes that heill have to leave everythin! in this earth and !o aay. -hen / die, then / ill have to leave everyone

and everythin!8my children and everythin!. (hen all of the love and all of the affection that / illhave8that is all maya. /t ill make tears come.6

(hese sentiments of the older omen and men / came to kno in +an!aldihi reminded me of hat /had felt hen !ettin! to kno my no h)sband, then colle!e companion, ten years before !oin! to+an!aldihi. / o)ld tell him that it is painf)l to fall in love, beca)se it ill be all the more painf)lhen it ends. 3e as perple7ed, sayin! that e never had to separate if e did not ish to. (heirstatements abo)t maya also reminded me of a passa!e / had first read a fe years earlier in -endyoni!er eertA s)!!ests, in itsvent)re to e7plore in depth partic)lar peoples ansers8ithin any c)lt)ral and historical settin!8to

abidin! h)man G)estions.


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)naverin! s)pport, advice, and friendship d)rin! hat ere sometimes tryin! times for )s both. 3erfamily and that of +amata and iban ;rishna +)kheree ere like second families to me in the villa!e.>)r)saday +)kheree devoted lon! ho)rs to teachin! me patiently abo)t the ays of villa!e societyand 3ind) reli!ion. 9nd the many elder or 4!ron6 "r!iddha omen and men of +an!aldihi8Choto+a, +eo +a, ;h)di (hakr)n, and Bho!i Ba!di notably amon! them8!ave me ho)rs of their time,revealin! their life stories and confidin! their aspirations and fears. /t is their e7periences and

reflections abo)t daily life that make )p the heart of this st)dy.inally, / co)ld not be the person or scholar / am today itho)t the lovin! s)pport, knoled!e, andinspiration !ained from members of my family. +y father, Sydney Lamb, as the one ho first incitedme at a very yo)n! a!e to G)estion and e7plore ho e and others make sense of the orlds e live in.+y mother, Sharon Ioell, has alays enco)ra!ed me to p)rs)e my dreams and to do hat / ishedeven if that o)ld mean notto complete a dissertation or rite a book. S)san Lamb and oris Blackhave also, in distinct and important ays, enco)ra!ed me and my ork. +y to da)!hters, Iachel andLa)ren, ere born d)rin! the period of the ritin! of this book. (hey have bro)!ht so m)ch oy andperspective into my life. (hey have also helped me come to )nderstand hat many of the older omenin +an!aldihi meant hen they spoke of the intensity of a mothers maya for her child, as alays!reater than a childs maya for her mother. 9ltho)!h the e7i!encies of children and diverse obs have

meant that my h)sband *d and / do not read as many of each others ritten ords as e once did, /can still attest that itho)t *ds love, patience, shred disc)ssions, and selfless s)pport, this booko)ld not have emer!ed as it has.

Note on Trans'ation and Trans'iteration

Unless otherise noted, all statements and conversations reported over the folloin! pa!es came fromintervies and conversations that / either tape1recorded or otted don in fieldnotes d)rin! or severalho)rs after the disc)ssions. 9ll translations of conversations, stories, son!s, and printed Ben!alimaterials are my on, )nless otherise noted.

/taliciAed terms in Ben!ali have been transliterated )sin! standard diacritics, ith certain alterationsmade to preserve some faithf)lness to pron)nciation in Ben!ali. /n Ben!ali, the medial ais )s)allyprono)nced closer to an 4o6 than an 4a,6 so / have occasionally chosen to transliterate it as an 4o,6especially hen this chan!e is commonly made s)ch as "or!ofor 4bi!,6 instead of "ar!a. (he final ainBen!ali is )s)ally not prono)nced, so it has been omitted from most ords e.!., sam!sr,rather thansam!sra. / employ a tilde here a #andra"indusymbol o)ld have occ)rred in the ori!inal. (here area fe terms, s)ch as my,that / )se repeatedly thro)!ho)t the bookN they appear in italics anddiacritics on the first )sa!e only. 9ll freG)ently )sed Ben!ali terms can be fo)nd in the !lossary. Jamesand other proper no)ns have been !iven their common *n!lish spellin!s e.!., Calc)tta, ;rishna.

Introd)(tion

ers*e(ti%es thro)gh Age

+y sons all !re )p, and / 4!ave6 all their eddin!s. 9ll of them have their on families,and no to hose do / belon!5 Jo hose am /5 / am no lon!er anyone. Jo one son issayin!, 4/ came from a hole in the !ro)nd.6 9nother is sayin!, 4/ fell from the sky.69nother is sayin!, 4/ came from >od.6 9nd yet another is sayin!, 4+y hands and feet cameon their onN / !re )p on my on.6 -ho am / no5 /m speakin! the tr)th. -hat kind ofthin! is a mother5


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9 mother, a !randmother is like a deity.

/m still embarrassed to say that / live in a 4home.6 B)t hat can / do5F9ffection andcompassion no lon!er e7ist as they did.

-e place so m)ch importance on the bodyN e think of it as a very val)able thin!. B)t thisis an erroneo)s, del)ded belief. -hen a!e happens, the body !ets orn o)t like old, ornclothesN and hen e die it is discarded. 9ll thin!s of this orld are perishable, transitory./t is only >od and the so)l that are lastin!.

(his book e7plores a!in! as a means of !ainin! perspective on notions of !ender, the body, kinship,and the forces of c)lt)re. /t does so in -est Ben!al, /ndia, beca)se of the rich )nderstandin!s of a!in!fo)nd there, as s)!!ested by the passa!es G)oted above.

)r)saday: that old a!e hi!hli!hts the perishability of the bodyand all earthly matters, si!nalin! a time to foc)s on >od, the so)l tm, and the heavenly soo)rns orrebirths that ill take place after this evanescent life. B)t for +asima, old a!e is a time hen she isforced to break her family ties and seek an instit)tional ref)!e in a 4modern,6 sec)lar city. (hem)ltifaceted lens of a!in! is )sed in this book for viein! the varied ays social ties may be formedand taken apart, and bodies and !enders transformed.

Several theoretical concerns emer!e o)t of this ethno!raphy, havin! to do ith recent initiatives ithinanthropolo!y and !ender theory to rethink notions of c)lt)re, !ender, and the body. -hen / first be!anto st)dy the e7periences of a!in! amon! those / kne in -est Ben!al, hat str)ck me immediately asho different the shape and feelin! of social relations and !ender constr)ctions looked to me thro)!hthe eyes of the elderly omen and men / so)!ht o)t. (he acco)nts / had read of So)th 9sian social lifehad been based predominantly on the perspectives of yo)n!er and middle1a!ed ad)lts.?"@ or instance,So)th 9sian omen are commonly depicted as reG)irin! veilin! and modestyN b)t / sa hite1hairedomen ho left their homes to roam villa!e lanes, not only ith their heads and faces )ncovered b)tbared to the aist on hot days, itho)t re!ard for shoin! their lon!1dry breasts. / had read yo)n!er

ad)lts vies of older omen as havin! the poer to limit a da)!hter1in1las movements, to interfereith a sons marital intimacies, and the likeN yet the older omen / kne spoke of feelin! that theyere losin! in the contest for a sons affection, loyalty, and favor. St)dies of /ndian idohood rarelydistin!)ished beteen the conseG)ences of idohood for a oman in her yo)th and for a oman pastmenopa)se, altho)!h / fo)nd strikin! differences. 9nd hat of all the people ho told me that olderomen ere, in important ays, 4like men,6 implyin! that hat differentiates a 4man6 from a4oman6 is not constant over the life co)rse5

/n attemptin! to find ays to think and rite abo)t these competin! disco)rses on social practices, /fo)nd some le!itimation and !)idance in recent shifts in both anthropolo!y and feminist st)dies toard


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viein! 4c)lt)re6 and 4omen6 as m)ltivocal, contradictory, and inconsistent. / also came to realiAethat perspectives s)rro)ndin! a!in! in Ben!al co)ld be )sed to p)sh these theoretical innovations evenf)rther and co)ld address on!oin! problems in o)r thinkin!, especially abo)t !ender and the body.

H H H

C)'t)re+ ,ender+ and M)'ti%o(a'it&

(he concept of 4c)lt)re6 has had many identities. C)rrent anthropolo!ical disc)ssions reflectsi!nificant chan!e over recent years, from a concept that stressed coherence and systematicity to oneemphasiAin! hetero!eneity and open1endedness.?2@ /n the midOtentieth cent)ry, d)rin! hat manyno label as the 4modernist6 period, c)lt)re as !enerally )nderstood as a more or less p)bliclyshared, internally homo!eneo)s and distinctive system of patterns, symbols, or meanin!s.?#@ S)ch aperspective, critics no ar!)e, ass)mes that all members of a c)lt)re more or less a!ree ith eachother, )st as people of one c)lt)re are also set off, )niG)ely different, from people of other c)lt)res.?$@9n ethno!rapher takin! s)ch a viepoint need not attend to the partic)lar voices, e7periences, andperspectives of specific members of a c)lt)re or society, since all pres)mably share in its val)es,visions, and ays of thinkin!. 9s Ienato Iosaldo "D&D:#2 comments, 4/n this ?earlier

anthropolo!ical@ tradition, c)lt)re and society determined individ)al personalities and conscio)snessNthey enoyed the obective stat)s of systems. Jot )nlike a !rammar, they stood on their on,independent from the individ)als ho folloed their r)les.6

S)ch critiG)es themselves are often e7a!!erated and oversimplified. Iobert Bri!htman "DD%:%$"points o)t ith )stice, 4Jeither in earlier disciplinary history nor as deployed in recent anthropolo!icalritin! does the c)lt)re concept consistently e7hibit the attrib)tes of ahistoricism, totaliAation, holism,le!alism, and coherence ith hich its critics selectively reconstit)te it.6 /ndeed, some passa!es fromleadin! 4modernist6 anthropolo!ists s)ch as Bronisla +alinoski or *dard Sapir so)nd as if theymi!ht have been ritten today. +alinoski asserted in "D2' p. "2" that 4h)man c)lt)ral reality is nota consistent lo!ical scheme, b)t rather a seethin! mi7t)re of conflictin! principles.6 /n "D#& Sapirconcl)ded that anthropolo!y is concerned 4not ith a society nor ith a specimen of primitive man nor

ith a cross1section of the history of primitive c)lt)re, b)t ith a$inite,tho)!h indefinite, num"ero$human "eings,ho !ave themselves the privile!e of di$$ering $rom ea#h othernot only in matters!enerally considered ones on b)siness b)t even on G)estions hich clearly transcended the privateindivid)als concern6 Sapir "D$D:%'DOE0, Gtd. in Bri!htman "DD%:%##N my italics. By the mid1"D'0sMictor ()rner as ar!)in! that 4?a symbol@ is alive only in so far as it is pre!nant ith meanin! formen and omen, ho interact by observin!, transgressing,and mani%ulating $or %ri&ate endsthenorms and val)es that the symbol e7presses6 "D'E:$$, my italics. -e are itnessin!, then, not a totaltransformation or revol)tion b)t a chan!e in emphasis, a shiftin! of disc)rsive paradi!ms, in ho ethink and talk abo)t anthropolo!ical analysis. Jonetheless, it is fair to say that coherence, totality, andsystematicity did lar!ely characteriAe the vie of c)lt)re and society / received in my early years of!rad)ate trainin! at the University of Chica!o in the mid1"D&0s.

/ remember !oin! into anthropolo!y to st)dy%eo%lehavin! completed an )nder!rad)ate maor inreli!io)s st)dies that foc)sed more on te7ts, abstractions, and !eneralities than on real peopleseveryday lives. Several months into the reG)ired !rad)ate theory co)rse appropriately labeled4Systems,6 hoever, / rote a perple7ed letter homeN altho)!h / as learnin! fascinatin! thin!s abo)t4social holes,6 4total social holes,6 4social facts,6 4total social facts,6 4social str)ct)res,6 4socialsystems,6 4c)lt)res,6 and so on, / had yet to enco)nter any reco!niAable persons ith )niG)e,diver!ent e7periences and perspectives, or any of the ambi!)ities, contests, or messy ed!es that /tho)!ht socioc)lt)ral8human8life as filled ith.


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/ as to discover that many of my !eneration shared these concerns. By the late "D&0s, hen / asembarkin! on my dissertation research in -est Ben!al, /ndia, orks be!an to appear that ar!)ed for theimportance of heedin! partic)lar voices, lived e7periences, and contests. 9ct)ally, these paradi!mshifts be!an to emer!e even earlier, rooted in many of the theoretical innovations and endeavors of the"DE0s and early "D&0s. (he interpretive anthropolo!y of Clifford >eertA "DE# and Pa)l Iabino"DEE, for instance, be!an to emphasiAe that a c)lt)re is not a fi7ed and complete and entirely

systematic, inte!rated hole, b)t rather somethin! emer!ent and co1created in dialo!)e, both amon!members of a c)lt)re and beteen informants and anthropolo!ists. (he practice theory of the late"DE0s and "D&0s e.!., Bo)rdie) "DEE, "DD0N


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loria Iahea and 9nn >old "DD$, for instance, e7plorecompellin!ly the m)ltiple perspectives evident in omens son!s, stories, personal narratives, andeveryday talk in r)ral north /ndia. 9!ainst scholarly representations that have portrayed the4s)bmission ?of omen@ to a monolithic tradition,6 Iahea and >old "DD$:7viiiO7i7 ar!)e that, in

fact, omens speech reveals !reat hetero!eneity and resistance: 4-hen /ndian omen representthemselves in their on ords, no sin!le )nitary voice is heardN e have only be!)n to listen to a feof these voices6 p. D. /n their st)dy of 3ind) and +)slim omens lives in north /ndia, Patricia andIo!er effery "DD':"DO20 similarly ar!)e that omen in r)ral Binor 4did not speak ith a sin!levoice.6 (hey stress: 4?-@e haveFtried to avoid inventin! a sin!le reality o)t of the comple7 andambi!)o)s realities of omens daily lives.6

=et hen / t)rned to this literat)re to try to )nderstand older omens and mens lives in +an!aldihi,/ did not find all that / needed. 9ltho)!h the past to decades have seen a s)r!e of ork on So)th9sian omen, very little has concerned the later years of omens lives.?&@ Iahea and >oldsimportant st)dy "DD$ does incl)de an en!rossin! narrative of 4a ido in her si7ties6 pp. "'$O&",b)t the ork as a hole foc)ses on the stories and son!s of yo)n!er sisters, ives, and da)!hters1in1

la. 9ltho)!h effery and effery make the cr)cial point that omens positions and interests chan!ethro)!ho)t the life cycle "DD':2, their data are also concentrated on omen in their childbearin!years, as their ori!inal research foc)sed on pre!nancy and reprod)ctive histories. Stanley ;)rtAsen!a!in! st)dy "DD2 likeise centers on ima!es of yo)n! omen as mothers raisin! their children.(he many orks concerned ith iss)es s)ch as p)rdah, veilin!, modesty, marria!e, and se7)ality alsopertain chiefly to yo)n!er omen, altho)!h researchers rarely feel it necessary to acknoled!e ande7amine the si!nificance of their foc)s.?D@

-hen an older oman does fi!)re in st)dies of !ender in So)th 9sia, she appears most often as avillain s)ch as a domineerin! mother1in1la in the story of a yo)n!er oman ho is the riters


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primary concernN or she is more !enerally a repository and enforcer of patrilineal kinship ideolo!ies,dominant social norms, and 4traditions6 cf. S. Mat)k "DD%:2D0N Lamb "DDEa.?"0@ oldprovide a rich collection of son!s from a yo)n! brides or da)!hter1in1las perspective that sho hoyo)n! ives can resist ideals of ifely obedience to a h)sbands older kin "DD$:"2"O$&.


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m)ltivocality, chan!e, and process8have been i!nored. +arilyn Strathern, in her st)dy of omen andsociety in +elanesia, b)ilds on the feminist insi!ht that 4in dealin! ith relations beteen the se7es,one is dealin! ith social relations at lar!e6 "D&&:#%. / o)ld e7tend this notion to o)r dealin!s itha!e. Social relations are 4a!ed6 )st as they are !endered, tho)!h of co)rse the meanin!s and politics ofa!e alter accordin! to c)lt)ral and historical conte7t. Processes of a!in! hoever defined c)t acrossall of o)r bodies and livesN they play a central role in ho e constr)ct !ender identities, poer

relations, and the ider social and material orlds e inhabit8indeed, hat it is to be a person.By overlookin! a!e, those in omens st)dies and !ender theory have increased the diffic)lty of theirtask of theoriAin! abo)t the ays omen and men are constit)ted as !endered bein!s. /n her "D&%plenary session speech to the Jational -omens St)dies 9ssociation in Seattle, Barbara +aconaldchar!ed that omens st)dies has made invisible the lives of omen over si7ty, havin! failed in theclassroom to provide any feminist analysis of omens a!in!: 43as it never occ)rred to those of yo) in-omens St)dies, as yo) i!nore the meanin! and the politics of the lives of omen beyond o)rreprod)ctive years, that this is male thinkin!5 3as it never occ)rred to yo) as yo) b)ild feminist theorythat a!eism is a central feminist iss)e56 "D&':2". (he brief references to st)dies in So)th 9sia havealready shon ho foc)sin! e7cl)sively on yo)n!er omen tends to limit o)r )nderstandin! of thefl)ct)atin! and n)anced character of omens lives. reeAin! omens lives in one sta!e8as ives,

da)!hters1in1la, or yo)n! mothers8is even more limitin! hen e consider the place of 4the body6in recent anthropolo!ical and feminist theory.

H H H

The -od& in ostmodern and Feminist Anthro*o'og&

-hen yo) !et old, everythin! becomes closed or stopped. (hat hich happens beteenh)sband and ife stops. +enstr)ation stops. 9nd then hen yo)r h)sband dies, eatin! allhot food stops as ell. (his is so that the body ill dry o)t and not be hot.

ro!an "DDD, and many more. / introd)ce briefly here some of the maor trends in o)r c)rrenttheoriAin! abo)t the body, for / believe that Ben!ali ethno1theories of the body8the ays manyBen!alis )se bodily ima!es and processes to define old a!e and !ender relations8can help )s addresssome of the problems in the c)rrent anthropolo!ical and feminist literat)re, hich has tended to present4the body6 as a reified, deconte7t)aliAed, someho transhistorical and transc)lt)ral obect.

*mily +artin "DD2 e7plains this c)rrent s)r!e of attention by pointin! o)t that the body as e have

knon it d)rin! a ordist era of mass prod)ction is bein! replaced by a ne kind of body s)itable forlate capitalism, the postmodern era of fle7ible acc)m)lationN it is precisely d)rin! s)ch times oftransition, hen phenomena are comin! to an end, that they dra academic and p)blic attention. /o)ld s)!!est instead that the body has become pop)lar in the h)manities and social sciences beca)seit is tan!ible, partic)lar, and located8a stone e can to)ch, so to speak8amid the shiftin! sands ofpostmodernism cf. ohn and ean Comaroff "DD2:#DO$0. -hile the postmodern c)lt)ral theory of thepast to decades has disco)ra!ed efforts to speak of !eneral, all1encompassin! modernist systems orprinciples, the body seems to provide a )niG)e vehicle for sit)atin! perspectives and !ivin! a partic)larlocatedness. oc)sin! on the body becomes a ay both to move aay from overarchin! totaliAations


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and at the same time to provide somethin! apparently tan!ible, e7perienced, and 4real6 to han! on toand st)dy. S)san Bordo observes that in a Cartesian orldvie there is no place for the body, since thebody, by sit)atin! and thereby relativiAin! any perspective, prevents the possibility of an all1encompassin!, transcendent 4 o"'e#t1ive6 perspective. or postmodern thinkers, in contrast, there isno escape from h)man perspective: 4(he body, accordin!ly, is reconceived.FJo lon!er an obstacle toknoled!e?,@Fthe body is seen instead as the vehicle of the h)man makin! and remakin! of the orld,

constantly shiftin! location, capable of revealin! endlessly ne points of vie on thin!s6 "DD0:"$#O$$N the G)otation refers to S)leiman "D&'.

o)ca)lts e7tremely infl)ential analyses of the orkin!s of poer in modern society also foc)s on thebody "DE#, "DE%, "DED, "D&0b, "D&0c. Iather than treatin! poer as an abstract force, he e7aminesho forms of poer are localiAed, inscribed on, and inflicted on individ)al bodies and pop)lations thesocial body as these bodies are controlled, re!)lated, and disciplined ithin partic)lar prisons,asyl)ms, hospitals, psychiatrists offices, and )niversities. +ichael ackson, infl)enced by the earlierorks of +a)rice +erlea)1Ponty "D'2 and Pierre Bo)rdie) "DEE, similarly foc)ses on embodiedpractice and knoled!e in social analysis. ackson "D&D:""DO%% e7plains his foc)s on bodilymovement and pra7is as a means of p)shin! aay from 4disembodied6 and abstract theories of c)lt)re,hich he, like Bordo, sees as !ro)nded in the Cartesian split beteen knoin! s)bect and )nknoin!

inert body. 3e critiG)es his earlier 4bo)r!eois6 conception of c)lt)re8that is, 4as somethin!s)peror!anic, somethin! separable from the G)otidian orld of bodily movements and practical tasks6p. "2'8and he ar!)es that in order to make anthropolo!ical disco)rse more consonant ith thepractices and interests of the people e st)dy, e m)st foc)s o)r ethno!raphic analyses on partic)larbody movements and practices, on the embodied character of lived e7perience as ha"ituspp. ""DO%%Ncf. Bo)rdie) "DEE, "DD0.

/n !ender and feminist theory as ell, the body has played a leadin! b)t m)ch more ambivalent role.-hen social theorists developed the term 4!ender6 in the late "D'0s, they set it a!ainst 4se7,6 depictin!that hich is socially or c)lt)rally constr)cted as opposed to that hich is biolo!ically !iven cf.Jicholson "DD$:EDO&0. 3ere, the body fell into the domain of se7 and nat)re, hile !ender as amatter of c)lt)re. (oday, feminist theorists contin)e to see !ender i.e., beliefs and practices

s)rro)ndin! malefemale distinctions as c)lt)rally constr)cted, b)t their positions diver!e re!ardin!the place of the "odyandse0in relation to !ender.

or some, the body f)nctions cr)cially as in postmodern anthropolo!y in !eneral in providin! alocatedness to abstract social theory and analysis e.!., Bordo "DD0:"$%N +arshall "DD'. +anyfeminist theorists take the si!nificance of the body even f)rther, claimin! often s)btly or byimplication only that e need to reco!niAe the specifically$emalebody in order to theoriAe abo)t hatit is to be a oman.?"#@ (his position can appear )nder different !)ises8biolo!ical determinism,biolo!ical essentialism, biolo!ical fo)ndationalism, or feminism of difference cf. Jicholson "DD$8b)t in each case it is ass)med that real bodily, or biolo!ical, phenomena differentiatin! omen and menare )sed in all societies tho)!h perhaps in varyin! ays to shape a malefemale distinction. 3ere, the

body and biolo!y are taken as the "asison hich c)lt)ral meanin!s of !ender are constr)cted. LindaJicholson "DD$ calls this a 4coatrack6 vie of the body, as the body is vieed as the common base orcoatrack on hich different c)lt)ral artifacts of !ender are h)n!.


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across histories and c)lt)res is also tho)!ht to s)pport feminisms political pro!ram. +any ar!)e that)nless e provide a clear basis definin! hat it is to be a oman transhistorically and transc)lt)rally,then e cannot !enerate a politics aro)nd this term e.!., ons "DD#N cf. Jicholson "DD$:DDO"00.(he body seems to provide )st that necessary common !ro)nd. /n these ar!)ments8not s)rprisin!ly,perhaps8the G)alities tho)!ht to distin!)ish omens bodies s)rro)nd reprod)ction, motherhood, andse7)ality, G)alities !enerally associated ith femininity in the -est.

9n eG)ally stron! co)ntervie of the relationship beteen the body and !ender in contemporaryfeminist disco)rse, hoever, is very ary of any theory that depends on a prec)lt)ral or panc)lt)ralnotion of the body to define omen and !ender. (h)s


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ho ass)med the body to be 4a model that can stand for any "oundedsystem6 "D'':""%, my italics.


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ear mens hite clothin! dhotis, and e7pose the body chapters ', E. /t is not that older omen everprecisely "e#omemen. B)t it o)ld be nonetheless hi!hly misleadin! to think here of omen and men,femaleness and maleness, as binary, opposin! cate!ories, !ro)nded in )nchan!in! physical differences.

By payin! attention to a!e anyhere, e co)ld train o)r !aAe on this kind of fl)7 in the ays the bodyis )sed to create !endered identities. (he relatively fe cross1c)lt)ral st)dies to date on !enderidentities over the life co)rse have often fo)nd that hat it is to be a oman shifts si!nificantly in late

life.?"E@ or instance, itA ohn Porter Poole describes ho old, no lon!er married, andpostmenopa)sal omen amon! the Bimin1;)sk)smin of Pap)a Je >)inea are tho)!ht to be ase7)aland of ambi!)o)s !ender, neither e7actly male or female b)t 4beti7t and beteen6 "D&":""E. (hisandro!yno)s stat)s !ives older omen rit)al and leadership opport)nities that yo)n!er omen andmen do not have. )dith Bron "D&2, "DD2 and ;aren Brodkin Sacks "DD2 observe thro)!h s)rveysof cross1c)lt)ral data that later life is often a time in hich a oman has her !reatest poer, stat)s, anda)tonomy, enoyin! prero!atives that are often characteriAed as 4male.6 S)ch freedoms can come abo)tbeca)se of a pres)med ase7)ality as in /ndia, b)t in some societies8for e7ample, amon! the L)si ofPap)a Je >)inea Co)nts "DD2, the >arif)na of the Black Carib ;erns "DD2, and the ;)n! ofso)thern 9frica Lee "DD2N Shostak "D&"8middle a!e brin!s e7panded freedom for omen to okeabo)t se7)ality and to display se7)al interest, activities that are also often seen as 4male6 privile!es.

-omens a!in! bodies can sometimes evoke more ne!ative associations8for instance, a sense ofanin! femininity, se7)ality, bea)ty, or social )sef)lness.?"&@ S)ch vies are especially common inreflections on a!in! and omen in the United States see Chapkis "D&':%O#%N . 9le7ander et al. "D&'.

(he diversity and richness of s)ch data on chan!in! ima!es of bodies and !enders reveal the profo)ndlimitations in foc)sin! on only one life sta!e namely, the reprod)ctive phase in o)r theoriAin! abo)that it is to be a 4oman6 ora 4man6, as if !endered identity ere essential and fi7ed. =et thisrelatively lar!e, interestin! set of ethno!raphic data on a!in! still has not been idely incorporated intothe level of !ender theory.?"D@ /t is strikin! that so m)ch !ender and feminist theory persists in foc)sin!on se7)al reprod)ction, motherhood, and the ho)sehold. 9s +icaela di Leonardo "DD":2' reports,even in the postmodern era 4Both feminist essentialists and conservative anti1feminists have contin)edto dra on the nineteenth1cent)ry storeho)se of moral motherhood symbolism, stressin! omens

innate identity ith and n)rt)rance of children and nat)re.6 She adds, 4?eminists@ have fallen victimto the vision of an innately n)rt)rant, maternal omankind6 p. 2E.


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to be the 4essence6 of the female. (he barely concealed ass)mption )nderlyin! s)ch medical vies isthat reprod)ction of the species is hat female life is all abo)t p. 77vii. /n medical research onmenopa)se, the chemistry of omen of reprod)ctive a!e is taken as the standard meas)re for hat is4normal6 and 4healthy,6 thereby markin! the a!in! female body as abnormal pp. 777iiO777iii. (heseare pres)mably some of the reasons hy menopa)se mana!ement and its spin1off, hormonereplacement therapy, are c)rrently s)ch bi! b)siness in the United States8the only co)ntry in the

orld ind)strialiAed or not in hich hormone replacement therapy is so idespread. +any 9mericanphysicians recommend it to almost all their patients, in a seemin! attempt to keep omen, in some ay,4yo)n!,6 4normal,6 and 4female.6 ?20@ -endy Chapkis "D&', ho also incisively e7amines pop)lar9merican c)lt)re, finds that altho)!h all people8men and omen8fi!ht a!ainst the chan!es of a!e, itis omens bodies especially that e feel compelled to control and preserve, resistin! the 4chan!in!landscapes6 of time.

S)ch pop)lar and scientific ass)mptions s)rro)ndin! a!in! omen have permeated o)r theoriAin!abo)t !ender and the body as ellN it becomes 4nat)ral6 for !enderfeminist theory to center on femalereprod)ctivity, as if this ere the most si!nificant, sin!)lar dimension of omens bodies andbiolo!ies, and th)s, by e7tension, the cr)7 of their socioc)lt)ral identities, in all times and places. S)chtheories are ill)minatin! if e )se them to e7amine o)r on val)es. /n this ay, one can )se social

theory as a indo into the belief systems and ass)mptions of those ho prod)ce it. B)t these sametheories can lead )s far astray if e import them )nG)estionin!ly to the analysis of other times andplaces. /n addition, they perpet)ate ithin o)r on society he!emonic norms, ne!atin! the identitiesand e7periences of those omen ho have chosen notto center their lives aro)nd reprod)ction.

9 foc)s on the body, or bodies, #anbe provocative and enli!htenin!, then, if e e7plore the specificand m)ltiple ays the body and female and male bodies is f)rnished meanin! and si!nificance ithinpartic)lar c)lt)ral1historical conte7ts. /n this proect, it is val)able to e7amine ho variable c)lt)ralnotions of the body serve specific interests ithin societies: ho relations of poer may bee7perienced, implemented, contested, and ne!otiated by alternate ays of speakin! abo)t andrepresentin! the body cf. Lock and Scheper13)!hes "D&E, Scheper13)!hes "DD2. 3eedin! localmeanin!s of the body may also necessitate movin! beyond o)r c)rrent preocc)pation ith the body

alto!ether. (h)s, / e7plore in the folloin! pa!es the ays specific representations of the body are )sedto define persons, a!in!, and !ender, b)t / am not ass)min! the body to be already present in somesense as a startin! point. 3ere / find 3enrietta +oores co)nsel to be val)able: 4/n fact,6 she rites, 4/o)ld s)!!est for the time bein! that e mi!ht be better orkin! back toards se7, !ender, se7)aldifference and the body, rather than takin! them as a set of startin! points6 "DD$:2E.

H H H

Li%ing in Manga'dihi

+ost of hat / report here describes people of modest means and middle or hi!her 3ind) caste residin!in the center of the villa!e of +an!aldihi, here / lived for a year and a half from "D&D to "DD0.+an!aldihi is located in -est Ben!al, /ndia, abo)t "%0 kilometers from Calc)tta, here / hadprevio)sly lived and st)died lan!)a!e in "D&% and "D&' see map. (he villa!e of some ",E00 residentsand ##% ho)seholds comprised seventeen different 3ind) caste or'ti !ro)ps, one nei!hborhood of+)slims, and one nei!hborhood of tribal Santals.?2"@

/ndia.

Brahmans ere reco!niAed as bein! the villa!es 4dominant6 caste, as meas)red by landholdin!s,


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political clo)t, social mores, and the history of the villa!e. apal8forms of ;rishna8from Brindaban far to the east, to protect them from +)slim invaders.Brahmans still lived in the villa!es central nei!hborhoods, and the villa!es maor reli!io)s festivalsstill revolved aro)nd their ancient Maishnavite deities. Brahmans also oned the maority of thevilla!es land '0 percent, altho)!h their landholdin!s had si!nificantly decreased over the past several

decades )nder a series of !overnment land reforms.?22@ +ost of the villa!es Brahman families stills)pported themselves by farmin! rice as the staple crop, b)t only a handf)l of families oned morethan ten acres of land. +ost s)pplemented their a!ric)lt)ral income by findin! salaried obs in nearbycities and tons, orkin! as priests, or openin! small villa!e !rocery, tea, and video shops.

J)merically, the Brahmans in +an!aldihi ere )st abo)t matched by the Ba!dis, a loer orSched)led Caste !ro)p occ)pyin! several villa!e nei!hborhoods.?2#@ (he Ba!dis ere m)ch poorerthan the Brahmans, onin! an avera!e of )st a bit more than half an acre of land per ho)sehold. (heys)pported themselves mainly by orkin! in Brahman ho)seholds, tillin! Brahman land, fishin!, andc)ltivatin! small plots of their on. Ba!di representatives alays sec)red several seats on the local%an#hyat!overnment representative system, tho)!h, and they had a stron! c)lt)ral and politicalpresence in the villa!e. (ables " to # list the other'ti!ro)ps of +an!aldihi, their traditional and

c)rrent occ)pations, and siAe of their landholdin!s. 9ltho)!h most in the villa!e did have eno)!h toeat, very fe ere ealthy, and many families had to str)!!le to !et by. (here as a !eneral feelin! ofscarcity and ant in the villa!e, hich clearly seeped into the ays people str)ct)red and e7periencedtheir family relationships, their processes of a!in!, and the kinds of ealo)sy and bonds of maya,affection, and love that / describe in the folloin! pa!es.

". Ttis of +an!aldihi by J)mber and


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./ti NameN)mber o$

0o)seho'dsTraditiona' O(()*ation O(()*ation in Manga'dihi

3ari?@ # +idife, dr)mmer 9!ric)lt)ral laborer

Japit # Barber Barber, oner c)ltivator

Bene 2 +erchantShopkeeper,salaried ob,

landoner

S)ri?@ 2 LiG)or makerShopkeeper, liG)or maker, oner

c)ltivator

hatri?@ " +idife 9!ric)lt)ral laborer

;armakar?@ " Blacksmith Blacksmith, oner c)ltivator

Sad!op " C)ltivator


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"#ti NaeNu!er of

Households

$otal Land

Held

(in acres)

A%erage

Landholding

(acres &er

household)

'ercent of total illage

Land

S)ri 2 "2 '.0 ".E

+)ci 22 "" 0.% ".'Sad!op " E E.0 ".0

Japit # ' 2.0 0.D

hoba # $ ".# 0.'

Santal #$ $ 0." 0.'

;ora "$ # 0.2 0.$

Ba)ri "$ " 0." 0."

;armakar " " ".0 0."

S)tradhar " " ".0 0."hatri " 0 0 0.0

3ari " 0 0 0.0

/t as in a Brahman nei!hborhood that / settled, in the m)d h)t8nearly abandoned8of a ealthyBrahman family ho had since moved to an adacent three1story brick ho)se. (hey later invited me tomove into an )pstairs room of that ho)se. So it as almost inevitable that / became closest to thevilla!es Brahman comm)nity, and it is their voices that fi!)re in the folloin! pa!es most saliently. /also spent a !ood deal of time in Ba!di nei!hborhoods, and / strove to interact ith and !ather datafrom members of each of +an!aldihis other caste and ethnic !ro)ps. / often fo)nd a hi!h de!ree ofvariation in the ays the different castes or'tis of +an!aldihi practiced and perceived matters of

!ender and a!in!, distinctions that / hi!hli!ht hen especially relevant.+y research foc)sed on older omen and men. / often fo)nd them han!in! o)t at temples, onroadsides, and in the co)rtyards of their homes, relatively free from the ork that so en!rossed most oftheir yo)n!er ad)lt kin. -e spent ho)rs to!ether talkin! abo)t life, family relations and str)!!les, fearsand hopes s)rro)ndin! death, memories of childhood and romance, c)rrent television dramas, theproblems of poverty, the s)fferin!s of omen, and the chan!in! nat)re of modern society. / so)!ht o)tmen as m)ch as / did omen, for 4!ender6 one of the problems / as most interested in m)st, /believe, incl)de omen and men./ndeed, !ender st)dies done in So)th 9sia have !enerally beeneakened by the relative dearth of attention paid to men. /n the field of !ender st)dies, 4!ender6 hasbeen )sed lar!ely as a code for 4omen.6 ?2$@ -omen and men are eG)ally !endered bein!s, hoever,and neither can be )nderstood in isolation from the other and from the broader social orlds in hich

!ender identities are constit)ted.


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family relationships, !rapplin!s ith love and maya, and everyday lives in the orld.

B)t since / myself as a yo)n!er oman, recently married, in my late tenties and early thirties, / alsospent a !ood deal of time ith my 4peers,6 yo)n!er )nmarried and recently married omen. +yclosest daily companion as 3ena, a yo)n! oman in her mid1tenties ho married d)rin! my time in+an!aldihi. She shared a room and sin!le pillo ith me every ni!ht )ntil her marria!e, tellin! me ofvilla!e !ossip, her concerns and dreams, and her on visions of older people. Jei!hborhood !irls and

boys also croded into my room daily, sharin! tea and snacks ith meN and the yo)n!er ives in thenei!hborhood, hen they co)ld free themselves from ork, o)ld also make some time for me8as eperhaps bathed to!ether, or took a trip to ton to b)y a sari, or stopped to make a c)p of tea in the stillafternoon hile others ere takin! their naps.

/ also learned a !reat deal from these yo)n!er people, hich hi!hli!hted for me the ambi!)ities,m)ltiple perspectives, and shiftin! meanin!s inherent in hat it is to be a oman, a man, and a personin this comm)nity of -est Ben!al. / concentrate here on these competin!, ambi!)o)s perspectives, andespecially on the ays in hich the omen and men / kne made and remade their social orlds and!endered identities as they moved thro)!h the latter phases of their lives.

9ltho)!h / ent to /ndia and +an!aldihi to seek o)t their stories in the p)rs)it of ritin! a dissertation

and then a book, many of these older people also so)!ht meo)t as a listener. (hey called to me as /passed, climbed the three fli!hts of stairs to my home, or tapped me on my arm, sayin! 4=o) haventtaped my life story yet,6 4=o) m)st rite this don,6 4id yo) !et that in yo)r notebook56 / hope thatthe folloin! pa!es are tr)e to their tr)st in me to artic)late my sense of their e7periences, and)nderstandin!s, of their on lives and the lives of their nei!hbors.

Notes

". (he fe st)dies of a!in! incl)de Bisas "D&EN Cohen "DD2, "DD%, "DD&N 3iebert "D&"N Ioy"DD2 ?"DE2@:"2%O$&N and S. Mat)k "DE%, "D&0, "D&E, "DD0, "DD2, "DD%.

2. See 9b)1L)!hod "DD", "DD#N Bri!htman "DD%N Clifford "D&', "D&&N *. M. aniel "DD'N ;na)ft

"DD'N Iahea and >old "DD$:"O2DN and I. Iosaldo "D&D.#. See >eor!e Stockin! "DE' for an incisive look at the !roin! systematicity of the c)lt)re conceptd)rin! the interar period "D2"O$%. avid Schneider "D'&, "DE' provides a partic)larly vivide7ample of the systematicity and internal coherence of c)lt)re d)rin! a somehat later period of9merican c)lt)ral anthropolo!y, assertin!, for instance: 49 c)lt)re is a total systemN it does not haveloose ends and )ninte!rated pieces and parts that do not artic)late ith other parts. /t holds to!ether asa meanin!f)l system6 "DE':2"D.

$. Critics of modernist approaches incl)de 9b)1L)!hod "DD", "DD#:'O"% and Said "DE&. 9ppad)rai"DD2:#%O#' has characteriAed this traditional vision of c)lt)re as a 4mode of tho)!ht6 that4incarcerates6 the native in a fi7ed 4ay of thinkin! that admits no f)AAy bo)ndaries and is splendid in

its internal consistency6 cf. Iahea and >old "DD$:2.%.


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&. Jotable e7ceptions to the lack of interest in older omen incl)de S. Mat)k "DE%, "D&E, "DD2, "DD%,+arriott "DD&, Ioy "DD2 ?"DE2@:"2%O"$&, and -adley "DD$:2%O2D, "DD%:D&ODD. +enon andSheder "DD& consider hadially and ;)mar "D&&N >rover "DD0N ;)mari "D&DN Jandy "DD%N Stone and ames "DDEN and van-illi!en and Channa "DD".

"". or edited vol)mes e7plorin! a!in!, see 9moss and 3arrell "D&"N ry "D&0, "D&"N ;erns andBron "DD2N ;ertAer and ;eith "D&$N +yerhoff "DD2N +yerhoff and Simic "DE&N and Sokolovsky"D&D. or book1len!th orks, see Cohen "DD&N Co)nts and Co)nts "DD'N 3aAan "DD$N ;a)fman "D&'N;eith "DEEN Lock "DD#N +yerhoff "DEDN Plath "D&0N Iasm)ssen "DDEN and Mesperi "D&%. or revies

of m)ch of this material, see Cohen "DD$ and ;eith "D&0. or a related edited vol)me on middlea!e,see Sheder "DD&.

"2. *7ceptions to the tendency to compartmentaliAe st)dies of the old are most common in research onsocieties here a!e stratification is a hi!hly marked dimension of social or!aniAation. 9nthropolo!istsst)dyin! s)ch societies in 9frica and central BraAil have often bro)!ht analyses of a!e to a societallevel see, e.!., +ayb)ry1Leis "DEDN La ontaine "DE&N Spencer "DE'N (. ()rner "DEDN +. -ilson"D'#. 3)!h1ones "D&& also attempts to inte!rate her analysis of the f)ll life cycle ith analyses ofother domains of socioc)lt)ral life.

"#. (he ar!)ments emphasiAin! the specifically female body are G)ite variedN see, e.!., Braidotti "DD"NCi7o)s "D&"N >allop "D&&N ;risteva "D&0N Iich "DE'N and S)leiman "D&'. or disc)ssions of this kind

of ar!)ment, see +oore "DD$, esp. pp. "EO2" and Jicholson "DD$."$.


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and ood and care for !randchildren. 3akes,


22/195


23/195

maya5


24/195

O*en ersons and S)bstantia' E3(hanges

S)ch concerns abo)t maya and a!in!8the formin! and loosenin! of emotional relations over a lifetime8speak also to Ben!ali notions of hat it is to be a person. 9 principal theme in socioc)lt)ral st)diesof So)th 9sia over the past several decades has been the investi!ation of So)th 9sian notions of hat a4person6 or 4self6 is.?2@

Several of these st)dies have foc)sed on the fl)id and open nat)re of persons in /ndia. (his insi!ht asfirst voiced by +c;im +arriott "DE', ho ith Ionald /nden +arriott and /nden "DEE pointed toeveryday /ndian practices reflectin! the ass)mption that persons have more or less open bo)ndaries andmay therefore affect one anothers nat)res thro)!h transactions of food, services, ords, bodilys)bstances, and the like. +arriott and /nden, ho described the /ndian social and c)lt)ral orld as oneof partic)late 4floin! s)bstances,6 s)!!ested that /ndians vie persons in s)ch a orld as4composite6 and hence 4divid)al6 or divisible in nat)re. By contrast, *)ropeans and 9mericans viepersons as relatively closed, contained and solid 4 individ)als6 see also +arriott "DD0.

*. Malentine aniel "D&$ similarly emphasiAed that amon! (amils, all thin!s are constit)ted of fl)ids)bstances. /n perpet)al fl)7, these s)bstances have an inherent capacity to separate and mi7 ith others)bstances. (h)s it is possible8indeed, inevitable8for persons to establish inters)bstantial

relationships ith other people se7)al partners, ho)sehold and villa!e members and ith the placesland, villa!e, ho)ses in and ith hich they live. S)ch s)bstantial mi7in!s point to hat aniel hascalled 4the c)lt)ral reality of the nonindi&idualperson.6 (hey reveal the 4fl)idity of enclos)res6 in(amil concept)al tho)!ht, hether those be the bo)ndaries of a villa!e, the alls of a ho)se, or the skinof a person "D&$:D, his italics.

Ionald /nden and Ialph Jicholas "DEE described similar personally transformative transactionsamon! Ben!alis, ho to form kinship relations partly share and e7chan!e their bodies by means of actss)ch as birth, marria!e, sharin! food, and livin! to!ether e.!., pp. "#, "EO"&. rancis Rimmermann"DED, "D&0 and S)dhir ;akar "D&2:2##O#$, too, fo)nd notions of the fl)id and s)bstantiallyinterpenetrative nat)re of persons, !ods, places, and thin!s in 9y)rvedic te7ts and practices.Rimmermann in partic)lar emphasiAed that the body in 9y)rveda e7ists in a state of fl)idity or

snehat&.(he body is composed of a netork of channels and fl)ids, hich flo not only ithin thebody b)t also amon! persons and their environments Rimmermann "DED.

/n +an!aldihi, / first enco)ntered a notion of persons as relatively open and )nbo)nded as manifest inhat is called 4m)t)al to)chin!6 #h4y#h5yi. (he people / kne ere concerned abo)t hom andhat they to)ched beca)se to)chin! involves a m)t)al transfer of s)bstantial G)alities from one personor thin! to the ne7t. /nitially, / sa their concern most clearly in the mana!ement of 4imp)rity6a2uddhat in daily life.?#@ 3i!h1caste 3ind)s avoided to)chin! lo1caste 3ind)sN 3ind)s avoidedto)chin! +)slims or tribal SantalsN people of all castes freG)ently avoided to)chin! those ho ere instates of 4imp)rity6 beca)se of recent activities e.!., defecatin!, visitin! a hospital, or handlin! a deadbodyN persons abo)t to make a rit)al offerin! to a deity avoided to)chin! any other person at all. (o be

s)re, people often to)ched one another in the co)rse of their daily affairs. B)t hen they did, eachconsidered that s)bstantial properties from the other had permeated his or her on body, and the personho as in the 4hi!her6 or more 4p)re6 position o)ld often feel it necessary to bathe to rid him1 orherself from the effects of the contact.

(here are many forms of #h4y#h5yi.(o)chin! can take the form of simple bodily contact, as hen aperson to)ches anothers arm ith her hand or br)shes into another on a croded b)s. /t also occ)rshen to people to)ch an obect at the same time, s)ch as hen a person hands a pen or a photo or ac)p of tea to someone else, or hen to people sit on the same bench or mat at the same time. (heobects in s)ch cases cond)ct s)bstantial G)alities beteen the to people. +an!aldihi villa!ers told


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me that the only material that does not act as a cond)ctor in this ay is the earth mt!i, incl)din!, as akind of e7tension of the earth, the m)d or cement floors of ho)ses and co)rtyards. (h)s, to avoidto)chin! and the e7chan!es of s)bstance that to)chin! entails, people often refrained from handin!obects to each other directlyN instead, one placed an obect on the !ro)nd for the other to pick )p, ordropped an obect into anothers o)tstretched hands. People themselves, like obects, act as conveyorsor cond)ctors of contact8so that to people ho to)ch another person at the same time also to)ch

each other. )rthermore, )nlike obects, people !enerally retain the effects of to)ch: if someone to)chesone person and then itho)t bathin! another, this second person is considered to have been to)chedas ell by the first.

/t took many conf)sed days and akard e7periences for me to learn abo)t ho to)chin! asconceived as part of social interaction in +an!aldihi. People ere constantly tellin! me that / hadto)ched someone 4lo6 ni#u or 4imp)re6 a2uddha and therefore needed to bathe hen /, ith mydefinition of hat constit)tes to)chin!, failed to see ho / had to)ched anyone at all and felt no needto bathe in any case. / have a partic)larly vivid memory of visitin! +an!aldihis +)slimnei!hborhood for the first time, accompanied by my companion, 3ena.


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versa, servants o)ld eat their employers e7tofoods and ash their e7todishes b)t definitely not viceversa, and close sisters or mothers and da)!hters o)ld often share and trade e7tofood ith each other.

(he condition of bein! e7toalso spreads easily from a hand that has to)ched the mo)th either directlyor via an obect, s)ch as a c)p or eatin! )tensil to other persons and obects. -hen / drink a c)p of tea,for instance, my mo)th to)ches the tea c)p, hich to)ches my handN and th)s my hand becomes e7to./f/ ish to prevent the e7tofrom spreadin! to other obects and persons, / m)st G)ickly ash it. / tried

hard to re!)late s)ch practices, ashin! my hand after any eatin! or drinkin!, b)t in the eyes of mynei!hbors / as clearly not fastidio)s eno)!h. (hey o)ld tease me that my hole ho)se andeverythin! in it had become e7to,that people concerned ith p)rity and maintainin! separateness fromothers s)ch as Brahman idos sho)ld not even set foot into my home.

B)t a more serio)s breach in my cond)ct, a more reckless spreadin! of bodily s)bstances, came m)chearlier, before people ere comfortable eno)!h ith me to tease and criticiAe me abo)t my ays8onmy second visit to +an!aldihi, before / had moved to the villa!e. 3ena had taken me to her home,here she and her yo)n!er sister ere eatin! their noon meal aloneN their parents ere aay. 3enaoffered me a little bit of their rice and e!! c)rry, and / accepted. -hen she stood )p to clear aay thedishes, / tho)!ht / o)ld be helpf)l in the 9merican style and / picked )p my dish and placed it onthe stack that she as holdin!. -itho)t sayin! anythin! at the time, she ent don to the pond to ashthem. B)t hen / ret)rned to +an!aldihi the ne7t day, she b)rst into tears and told me that severalnei!hbors had seen her handle my e7todish and told her that they o)ld not be able to to)ch her. / felthorrible for her. /t as of co)rse entirely my fa)lt, for / had carelessly placed my dirty, saliva1covereddish in her hands itho)t !oin! to ash it myself or at least leavin! it on the !ro)nd, here she co)ldhave inconspic)o)sly later called for a lo1caste person to take it aay. 9nd her !enerosity and open1heartedness toard me had ca)sed her to be slandered and ostraciAed by her nei!hbors. 9t the sametime, / as also s)rprised by ho )ncomfortable, embarrassin!, and even stin!in!ly painf)l it felt tolearn that other people fo)nd me literally )nto)chable.

9fter / left +an!aldihi that day / ent to speak ith amph)l, an older Santal tribal oman hoorked in my landladys home in the ton of Santiniketan. She as at first indi!nant hen / told her

abo)t the incident, sayin! 4-hy5 -hy didnt yo) )st ask them89m / poor like yo)568aninterestin! response, revealin! ho she like many in +an!aldihi perceived real stat)s and poer tocome from possession of money, hich can in some ays even transform'tior caste hierarchies. (henshe added compassionately, 4/t makes yo) feel bad /hr%, doesnt it5 /t makes yo) feel ill at easea2nti.6 She herself e7perienced )nto)chability all the time as a Santal, and like many loer1casteand Santal people in the re!ion she fo)nd )pper1caste concerns ith rank orderin! and imp)rity )n)stand h)rtf)l.

+arriott "DE', aniel "D&$, and others ho have looked at s)ch interactions have termed theproperties that are felt to be transferred amon! people 4s)bstance,6 translatin! an incl)sive Sanskritterm dra&ya for somethin! that is treated as material, tho)!h it is not necessarily visible. or ant ofa better ord, / too sometimes )se this broad term. B)t the Ben!alis / kne did not )se any specific

eG)ivalent ord or phrase. -hen they disc)ssed the effects of to)chin!, it as simply clear thatsomethin! as transferred beteen persons8that persons, after to)chin!, shared somethin! parts ofthemselves, their G)alities, their bodily s)bstance ith each other. (his transfer formed part of theirtaken1for1!ranted, commonsense orld, and in o)r conversations abo)t ho to)chin! orks, hatconstit)tes to)chin!, and the effects of to)chin!, they co)ld not believe that / did not vie to)chin! inthe same ay. 4(o)chin!6 or #h4y simply meansa m)t)al contact that has a lastin! effect on personsinvolved, so that the s)bstance of each is chan!ed by the other.


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have more permanent effects. (hey for!e real bonds of relation8sam%ar/a,4relation,6 4bodilyconnections6N or my,4attachment,6 4affection68amon! persons, ho come to share somethin!f)ndamental.

Iankin! in !eneral, partic)larly the rankin! of'tis, or castes, has lon! been taken partic)larly by*)ropean observers, as s)mmariAed by )mont "D&0a as the most distinctive dimension of /ndiansociety. (h)s ethno!raphies s)ch as those by 9drian +ayer "D'0 and +arriott "D'&, as ell as

analyses s)ch as +arriott and /ndens "DE$, "DEE, foc)sed on asymmetrical transfers of food, ater,and bodily s)bstances hair, saliva in food leavin!s, feces, menstr)al blood, etc. amon! castes. Lo)is)mont "D&0a treated s)ch transfers as reflectin! an otherise fi7ed vertical hierarchy of 4p)re6 and4imp)re6 castes, hile +arriott "D'& and +arriott and /nden "DE$ vieed transactions ascontin)ally creative of caste ranks. +arriott "DE' later analyAed intercaste transactions as alsocreatin! a second, horiAontal dimension of 4mi7in!6 or alliance, and >loria Iahea "D&& a third oneof 4a)spicio)sness6 or centralityN b)t all earlier vies of transactions had stressed only thedifferentiation of caste ranks.

/, too, initially fo)nd that the most strikin! and obvio)s dimension of the e7chan!es practiced bypeople in +an!aldihi pertained to'tior caste hierarchy and partic)larly the mana!in! of 4imp)rity6a2uddhat thro)!h avoidance. B)t as the days and months ent by, / came to realiAe that an evenmore important and pervasive dimension of the open and )nbo)nd nat)re of persons in +an!aldihi hadto do ith seekin!, c)ltivatin!, and intensifyin! mi7in!s ith kin, loved ones, friends, nei!hbors,thin!s, and places. 3ena as the first to seek s)ch mi7in!s ith me. 9fter / had been in +an!aldihi forseveral eeks, she be!an re!)larly to come over to my home to trade and mi7 some of her food ithsome of mine. 3enas mother o)ld often make rut!iflat bread for me and / o)ld cook rice for3ena. (hen e o)ld trade ve!etables ith each other and eat side by side. +y landlords yo)n!da)!hter, Chaitali, o)ld freG)ently do the same, r)shin! over after their familys meal as preparedith a plate of rice and cooked ve!etables to trade and mi7 ith some of mine. 9nd after to yo)n!sisters from the nei!hborhood became my cooks, they o)ld eat all their meals ith me and often r)shto clear aay my e7todish or ipe the place here / had been eatin!. / sa also ho in their onhomes, omen in partic)lar o)ld trade rice and food, eat off others plates, finish one anothers e7toleftovers, and ea!erly call children to them to feed them food from their on plates ith their onhands.

Parents, too, o)ld clean aay their childrens )rine, e7crement, and m)c)s itho)t orryin! abo)ts)fferin! any kind of bodily imp)rity. 9nd as / ill disc)ss in chapter 2, Ben!alis defined the relationsof children ith their a!ed parents in important part by describin! ho children clean )p parents )rineand e7crement lovin!ly and itho)t complaint hen they have become incontinent in old a!e anda!ain after death.

amily and kinship ties in +an!aldihi as thro)!ho)t Ben!al ere perceived as created and s)stainedthro)!h vario)s kinds of bodily and other mi7in!s, sharin!s, and e7chan!es see also /nden andJicholas "DEE. People of the same 4family6 ere said to 4share the same body,6 assa%in!d!as: a ord

formed from%in!d!a,4body particle6 or 4ball of rice,6 andsa,4shared6 or 4same.6 Sa%in!d!as are peopleho share the same%in!d!as, or body particles, passed don from common ancestors, as ell as peopleho offer to!ether the same rice balls to the same ancestors. amilies ere also constit)ted bye7chan!in!, sharin!, and mi7in! via all sorts of other media, s)ch as food especially rice, ho)ses, andblood ra/ta. +an!aldihi villa!ers often referred to their families as those ho 4eat rice from the samepot6 e/i h7rite /hi. (hey also called the members of their familiesgharer lo/or 4ho)ses people.6(hey spoke of the 4p)ll of blood6 ra/tar t!n that they share ith parents and siblin!s, and of the4p)ll6 t!n they have for their mother beca)se they drank her breast milk "u/er dudh and erecarried in her omb nr!3.


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(h)s social relations of kinship and friendship, as ell as of 'ti,relied on daily !ivin!s and receivin!s./ fo)nd that people in +an!aldihi b)ilt bo)ndaries and avoided contact less often than they so)!ht tobecome parts of each other8thro)!h sharin! and e7chan!in! their bodily s)bstances, food,possessions, ords, affections, and places of residence. (his resonates ith hat +ar!aret (raickrites of (amil ho)seholds, here mi7in! /alattal,maya//am as vieed as a !oal and pleas)re inand of itself8one to be celebrated and reneed daily, and ta)!ht and learned as a val)e "DD0b, esp.

pp. O&E. (hese kinds of e7chan!es res)lt in hat r)ral Ben!alis often refer to as maya, the 4net6'l of bodily1emotional 4ties6 "andhan, 4p)lls6 t!n, or 4connections6 sam%ar/a that make )ppeople and their lived1in orlds.

S)ch a vision of persons as open and partly constit)ted by hat comes and !oes also informed peoplesconceptions of !ender differences over the life co)rse. +any spoke of omen as bein! even more4open6 /hol than men, especially d)rin! their married and reprod)ctive years. (his not only madeomen v)lnerable to imp)rities or )nanted s)bstances from o)tside as ere also the loer castes,several e7plained, comparin! omen to S)drasN it also !ave omen the hi!hly val)ed capacities toreceive a h)sbands seed and prod)ce a childN to mi7 ith, n)rt)re, and s)stain a family see chapter '.

People in +an!aldihi likeise e7pressed the ambivalences and transitions of a!in! by referrin! tochan!es in the fl)id and open nat)re of their bodies and personhoods. 9!in! as tho)!ht to involvesim)ltaneo)s, contrary p)lls in the kinds of ties that make )p persons.


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(he anser to this G)estion rests in lar!e part on hat Spiro, +ark)s and ;itayama, and other scholarsmean by the terms 4self6 or 4person.6 Spiro entertains briefly the notion that +ark)s and ;itayamaco)ld be referrin! to the self as the psychobiolo!ical or!anism, bo)nded by the skin. S)ch a self #ouldbe permeable to 4others68for e7ample, microor!anisms or !erms that penetrate the body to ca)sedisease, or spirits that possess an individ)al. 3oever, s)ch bo)ndary crossin!s entail onlyimpermanent and abnormal conditions, and Spiro therefore concl)des that ethno!raphers ho describe

notions of )nbo)nded selves co)ld not be )sin! the term 4self6 or 4person6 to denote thepsychobiolo!ical or!anism. (he more likely referent, he believes, is some psycholo!ical entity: an e!o,a so)l, or an 4/.6 B)t e still have a problem, Spiro insists, beca)se all those ho believe that othersare incl)ded ithin the bo)ndaries of their psycholo!ical self o)ld have little, if any, 4self1otherdifferentiation.6 (hat is, they o)ld lack 4the sense that ones self, or ones on person, is bo)nded, orseparate from all other persons6 "DD#:""0. Since all people m)st be able to differentiate themselvesfrom others, they m)st think of themselves as bo)nded and separate from all other persons. (his, hear!)es, is a 4distin!)ishin! feat)re of the very notion of h)man nat)re6 p. ""0.?%@

(hese ar!)ments !ive rise to several interestin! G)estions. irst, consider the self as a psychobiolo!icalor!anism. Clearly an )nbo)nded psychobiolo!ical self mi!ht entail a broader ran!e of possibilities thaninvadin! !erms or possessin! spirits. *ven in the scant material from r)ral -est Ben!al that / have

presented so far, it is evident that the Ben!alis / kne vieed the sharin! and e7chan!in! of bodily andother s)bstances8not only ith other people b)t also ith the places in hich they live and the thin!sthat they on and )se8as vital to the ays they think abo)t and define themselves and social relations.Parts of other people, places, and thin!s become part of ones on body and person, )st as parts ofoneself enter into the bodies and th)s the persons of others. Ben!alis vieed s)ch e7chan!es as neitherabnormal nor temporary tho)!h some are more or less desired, more or less lastin!, b)t rather as anelemental part of everyday life and practice.

(his does not mean that the Ben!alis / kne co)ld not differentiate themselves psycholo!ically fromothers8they, like all people, percept)ally perform self1other differentiation. B)t / see no reason forSpiros ass)mption that the ability to differentiate ones conscio)sness from others is dependent on anotion of the self as 4bo)nded, or separate from all other persons.6 3e conflates a sense of personal

identity ith that of personal bo)ndaries: either people vie themselves as perfectly bo)nded andseparate, orthey lose all capacity to differentiate themselves from others.


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became clear that 4;arimp)r residents vieed the fire as a comm)nity p)nishment, not merely anindivid)al one6 p. "$2.

(he people / kne in -est Ben!al also offered theories of shared karma to e7plain a persons or!ro)ps misfort)ne.


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#. / rite abo)t 4imp)rity6 here at some len!th, partly beca)se the topic has received so m)ch attentionin the anthropolo!ical literat)re on /ndia and partly beca)se it at first seemed to me so important to thelocal constit)tion of open persons and inters)bstantial social relations. 3oever, / !rad)ally learnedthat social relations for Ben!alis do not by any means center on avoidin! imp)rity.

$. Spiro "DD# disc)sses these So)th 9sianists partic)larly on pp. ""%, "2#O2E, "#2, here heconcentrates on Sheder and Bo)rnes "D&$ notion of a 4sociocentric6 self.

%. Spiro s)pports his ar!)ment on self1other differentiation by drain! on ames "D&" ?"&D0@ and3alloell "D%%.

'.


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my"andhan as one of the overlappin! meanin!s ofsam!sr8that is, the bodily and emotionalattachments or 4bindin!s6 that connect people ith the persons and thin!s that make )p theirho)seholds and ider inhabited orlds. /t as ithinsam!srs, or families, in +an!aldihi that m)ch ofhat constit)ted a!e and !ender relations as played o)t. /n this and the folloin! chapter, / foc)s onpeoples visions of the orkin!s of families.

(hese visions entailed both consens)s8hat ere often presented to me as shared 4Ben!ali6 val)es8

and dissension or conflictin! perspectives for instance, beteen !enerations or !enders. /n todaystheoretical climate, it is often dissension or contestation that is hi!hli!hted as / disc)ssed in theintrod)ction. /ndeed, contestation8or the absol)te hetero!eneity of c)lt)re8has someho become anoverpoerin! trope, almost silencin! hat it as meant to allo for: that is, a heedin! of the f)ll ran!eof diverse perspectives, visions, and e7periences of those e are seekin! to )nderstand.?"@ or it is notonly anthropolo!ists ho have often perhaps more often in the past so)!ht !eneraliAed oressentialiAed feat)res of 4c)lt)res6N very often people essentialiAe themsel&es.or instance, those /kne in +an!aldihi commonly spoke to me of 4Ben!ali c)lt)re,6 or 4Ben!ali people68especiallyhen describin! to me admittedly an o)tsider, for hom this kind of lan!)a!e mi!ht have beentho)!ht partic)larly appropriate ho families ork and ho a!in! is constit)ted ithin families.Scholars s)ch as Partha Chatteree "DD# and Pradip ;)mar Bose "DD% have e7amined elite middle1

class disco)rses on the family in nineteenth1 and early1tentieth1cent)ry Ben!al, in hich the familyas often presented as the inner domain of a national c)lt)re, a ref)!e from e7ternal colonial society.S)ch an aareness of c)lt)ral difference also )nderlay many +an!aldihi villa!ers disco)rses ofBen!ali family val)es a point / disc)ss f)rther in chapter #. (he orkin!s of inter!enerational familyrelations ere presented as key parts of a Ben!ali local morality, a Ben!ali orld.

(he material in this chapter, as the label 4family moralsystems6 o)ld s)!!est, concentrates on s)chdisco)rses of a shared proect. Some readers may be )ncomfortable ith the level of apparenta!reement or systematicity they find. B)t / have stayed close to the visions and lan!)a!e of many ofmy informantsN and if / had omitted this material, / o)ld not have done )stice to the ays they oftenished to represent themselves. / ill then t)rn in chapter #, 4Conflictin! >enerations,6 to other,eG)ally vital perspectives on a!e and !ender relations ithin family life. Both chapters e7plore cr)cial

components of the ays those / kne in +an!aldihi e7perienced and envisioned processes of a!in!,!ender, and personhood ithin the arena of family life, an arena informed by specific politics andhistory.

H H H

5e$ining Age

-hen / be!an research in /ndia, / did not decide in advance hom / o)ld consider 4old6 altho)!hmy advisor in Calc)tta, tro)bled by the lack of specificity in my research proposal, advised me to doso: 4B)t hom ill yo) be callin! old in yo)r st)dy5 -ill it be people above a!e fifty1five5 or a!esi7ty1five56. /nstead, / ished to find o)t ho the people / lived ith defined a!in!.


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chan!es in their bodies, families, comm)nities, and nation, fe co)nted the partic)lar n)mber of yearspassed in their lives as markers of identity or of life sta!e, or kept track of and celebrated theirbirthdays.

Some of the more elite and literate families, especially amon! the Brahmans, did keep acco)nts of birthdates and s)ch in record books, partic)larly so that they mi!ht cast horoscopes hen arran!in!marria!es. Some of those in +an!aldihi ith salaried obs also noted their seniority in years for

b)rea)cratic p)rposes. B)t s)ch knoled!e as !enerally considered to be elite or technicalinformation, a kind of 4symbolic capital6 Bo)rdie) "DEE:"E"O that demonstrated the possession ofed)cation, record books, salaried obs, and the ealth that these !oods entailed.


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receive services and respect from, )niors and little ones.

>loria Iahea "D&&, in her analysis of the prestations or !ifts !iven and received by people in thenorthern /ndian villa!e of Pahans), has also fo)nd it )sef)l to think of confi!)rations of castes andkinsmen in Pahans) in a tripartite set of transactional dimensions84m)t)ality,6 4centrality,6 and4hierarchy.6 3er st)dy foc)ses on the prestations that move "etweenho)seholds of different castes andkinsmen. /n this chapter and the ne7t, / foc)s on the kinds of !ivin!s and receivin!s that ent on within

ho)seholds in +an!aldihi. 9nd tho)!h an important part of Iaheas st)dy of interho)seholdprestations s)rro)nds the dispersal of 4ina)spicio)sness,6 / enco)ntered no similar transfers ithin+an!aldihi ho)seholds. By e7aminin! ho)sehold transactions, / shed li!ht on the internal dynamics offamilies and on ho relations of a!in! and !ender ere constit)ted, tho)!ht abo)t, and val)ed.

H H H

Long4term Re'ations6 Re(i*ro(it& and Indebtedness

People in +an!aldihi described Ben!ali family relations as entailin! lon!1term bonds of reciprocalindebtedness e7tendin! thro)!ho)t life and even after deathN foc)sin! on this transactional relationshipprovided one of their main ays of speakin! abo)t the connections bindin! the !enerations. )niors

provided care for their elderly parents, reconstr)cted relations ith parents as ancestors after death, andrit)ally no)rished these ancestors as a means of repayin! the tremendo)s debts r!n! oed for prod)cin!and carin! for them in infancy and childhood. 9ccordin! to my informants, this8the moral obli!ationto repay the vast debts inc)rred8as the primary reason ad)lt children cared for their a!ed parents andn)rt)red their parents as ancestors after death.?'@

(he process of prod)cin! and raisin! children as described by +an!aldihians as a series of !ivin!s.Parents !ive their neborn children a body, made )p of their on blood8from the fathers seed orsemen 2u/ra,a distilled form of blood and the mothers )terine blood ra/ta,rta", hich no)rishesthe fet)s in the omb gar"ha.?E@ Parents then no)rish their children ith food: a mothers breast milk"u/er dudh, rice, and treats of seets and fr)it. (hey also provide their children ith materialnecessities8clothin!, beddin!, money, and the like. (hey clean )p their infants )rine and feces. (heyare responsible for their childrens havin! the hole series of life or family cycle rit)als sam!s/rs,from birth thro)!h marria!e. 9nd finally, thro)!h all of these !ivin!s, they end)re tremendo)ss)fferin! /as!t!a. /n the end, after !ivin! to and constr)ctin! their children, the parents have lar!elydepleted their on reso)rces and th)s they advance to a 4senior6 "ur!o life phase.

B)t this series of !ivin!s from ad)lt parents to yo)n!er children is only one phase of a m)ch lon!erstory. 9ccordin! to +an!aldihians, by !ivin! to and raisin! their children, parents create in theiroffsprin! a tremendo)s moral debt, or r!n!, that can never be entirely repaid. =et children are obli!ated tostri&eas best they can to pay it off by ret)rnin! in kind the !ifts once !iven to them, principally byprovidin! for their parents hen they become old and by rit)ally no)rishin! their parents as ancestorsafter death. 9s >)r)saday +)kheree, ;h)di (hakr)ns eldest son, e7plained:

Lookin! after parents is the childrens #heleder?&@ d)ty /arta"ya. Sons pay back 2odh/are the debt r!n! to their parents of childbirth and bein! raised by them. (he mother andfather s)ffer so m)ch /hu"i /as!t!a /are to raise their children. (hey cant sleepN they ake)p in the middle of the ni!ht. (hey clean )p their childrens@ boel movements. (heyorry terribly hen the children are sick. 9nd the mother especially s)ffers myer "e2i/as!t!a hae. She carries the child in her omb for ten ?l)nar@ months, and she raises himfrom the blood and milk from her breasts. So if yo) dont care for yo)r parents, then !reatsin /hu"i %% and in)stice anye happens.


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9nother Brahman man and family rit)al priest servin! +an!aldihi, Jimai Bhattchar, provided asimilar e7planation:

Carin! for parents is the childrens d)ty /arta"yaN it is dharma.9s parents raised theirchildren, children ill also care for their parents d)rin! their sick years, hen they !et old"r!iddha. or e7ample, if / am old and / have a boel movement, my son ill clean it andhe ont ask, 4-hy did yo) do it there56 (his is hat e did for him hen he as yo)n!.

-hen / am old and dyin!, ho ill take me to !o pee and defecate5 +y children ill haveto do it.

-omen also spoke to me of the lon!1term relations of reciprocal interdependence and indebtednessthey had as da)!hters1in1la and mothers1in1la. 9s / ill describe belo, da)!hters lar!ely clearedtheir debts toard their on parents hen they married, inheritin! at the same time ne obli!ationstoard their h)sbands parents. (hese ne relations beteen da)!hters1in1la and parents1in1la erein part conceived of as reciprocal8for da)!hters1in1la ere often married as yo)n! !irls. (his asespecially tr)e of the older omen of +an!aldihi, hose marria!es took place before child marria!ere!)lations ere implemented in /ndia, hen brides often ere !irls as yo)n! as ei!ht, five, or evento. +any of these omen described ho they ere cared for, raised, and n)rt)red by their mothers1in1la as ne brides, sleepin! ith their mothers1in1la at ni!ht, and even8one oman told me8n)rsin! from a mother1in1las breasts. Choto +a e7plained the relations of reciprocal interdependencethat she, as an older oman, no had ith her da)!hters1in1la: 4/f o)r ?da)!hters1in1la@ didnt carefor )s, then ho o)ld5 9t this a!e5 -e took these da)!hters1in1la in. 9nd in o)r time, o)r mothers1in1la took )s in and cared for )s.FJo e are dependent on o)r sons and on o)r da)!hters1in1la. /thas to be done this ay.6

(he attempt to pay back parents or parents1in1la the debts of birth and rearin! does not end ithcare in old a!e, people said, b)t contin)es after death8as children s)ffer a period of death1separationimp)rity a2au# for their parents, perform f)neral rites, reconstr)ct their parents as ancestors, andrit)ally no)rish them. 9s S)bal >orai p)t it as he approached the end of the ri!oro)s month of death1separation imp)rity for his deceased mother: 4-e m)st do the observances ?of death1separation

imp)rity@ for o)r parents. /n doin! observances for o)r mother, e pay her back 2odh /ar hae forraisin! )s. She s)ffered very m)ch for )s, so e ill no s)ffer for her also.FB)t o)r s)fferin! cannoteG)al hers. -e are tryin! to pay ?her@ back b)t e cannot ever do it.6 -hen villa!ers reasoned abo)ts)ch iss)es ith me8abo)t hat children !ive to and oe their a!ed and deceased parents8/ asstr)ck by the near1identity of hat parents once !ave to their children and hat children are laterobli!ated to ret)rn. (hese reciprocated !ifts incl)ded the !ift of a body after death, food, materialnecessities, the cleanin! of )rine and e7crement, the finalsam!s/ror f)neral rites, and the s)fferin!and toil /as!t!a that all of these acts of !ivin! and s)pportin! entailed table $.

$. Ielations of Lon!1term, eferred Ieciprocity

'hase * Initial gi%ing (d#oy#)'hase +* eci&rocated gi%ing, or the deferred re&aying

of de!ts (r-n-)

.ediu of

$ransaction

$ransactors,

Senior /

"unior

.ediu of

$ransaction

$ransactors,

"unior/ Senior

Body Parent X child BodySon )nior X parent ofmale line %ret, %itr!

ood ood

Breast milk +other X Cos milk )nior X elder, pret, pitrY


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'hase * Initial gi%ing (d#oy#)'hase +* eci&rocated gi%ing, or the deferred re&aying

of de!ts (r-n-)

.ediu of

$ransaction

$ransactors,

Senior /

"unior

.ediu of

$ransaction

$ransactors,

"unior/ Senior

childIice Parent X child Iice )nior X elder,%ret, %itr!

(reats fr)it, seets,etc.

Senior X)nior

(reats )nior X elder,

+aterial !oods +aterial !oods

Clothin!, money, etc. Parent X child Clothin!, money, etc. )nior X elder,%ret

Services Services

Clean )p )rine ande7crement, daily care, etc.

Parent X childClean )p )rine and

e7crement, daily care, etc.)nior X *lder

Sams/rs Sams/rs

irst feedin! of rice,marria!e, etc.

Parent X child )neral rites)niors X%ret, %itr!ofmale line

;*=:

Xirection of transaction.

)nior+ay incl)de a child, childs spo)se, !randchild, niece, nephe, etc., and especially sons andda)!hters1in1la.

Senior+ay incl)de a parent, parent1in1la, !randparent, a)nt, )ncle, departed spirit pret, ancestorpitr, especially those ithin ones on family line.

*lder9 senior hen old.

Preteparted spirit see chapter %.

PitrY9ncestor see chapter %.

Some of these forms of reciprocal transaction have already been ill)strated by villa!ers G)oted above.

or instance, villa!ers often described their on and others relations ith a!ed parents by relatin! hothey as ad)lt children clean )p the )rine and e7crement of their parents itho)t complainin!, )st astheir parents once tended to them hen they ere infants. 9s e have seen, Jimai Bhattchar reasoned,4or e7ample, if / am old and / have a boel movement, my son ill clean it and he ont ask, -hydid yo) do it there5 (his is hat e did for him hen he as yo)n!.6 +an!aldihi villa!ers freG)entlypraised the ay one Brahman man, Syam (hak)r, cared for his very a!ed father ith )nfailin!devotion )ntil the day he diedN Syam (hak)r, / as told repeatedly, o)ld himself take the e7crement1covered sheets from his fathers bed to the pond to be ashed, three or fo)r times a day if necessary,never complainin! and never several remarked tempted to feed his father less so that there o)ld be


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less aste prod)ced. 9ltho)!h not all old people become incontinent, dealin! ith a parents )rine andfeces as often held )p as a paradi!matic component of the relation beteen an ad)lt child and anelderly parent.

+oreover, people said, )st as parents constr)ct their childrens bodies by !ivin! birth to them andno)rishin! them ith food, so children partic)larly sons m)st provide ne bodies for their parentsafter death. / ill later e7plain in detail chapter % the elaborate series of 3ind) f)neral rit)als by

hich )niors constr)ct ne s)btle, ancestral bodies for their deceased seniors, and then caref)llyno)rish these bodies thro)!h on!oin! rit)al feedin!s. /n fact, the ten1day or sometimes lon!er periodof death1separation imp)rity that s)rvivors end)re hen an elder dies as sometimes compared byvilla!ers to the ten1month period of !estation d)rin! hich an infant is prod)ced in the omb cf. Parry"D&2:&%. 9nd several of my informants stated that by !ivin! birth to their on children, they are alsof)lfillin! a debt r!n! to their parents to prod)ce children to carry on the family line, )st as their parentshad prod)ced them.?D@ By performin! the last f)neral rites for their parents, children also reciprocatethe !ift of asam!s/rto them. Parents constr)ct their children by !ivin! them the series ofsam!s/rsfrom birth thro)!h marria!e, and in t)rn children !ive their parents the final sam!s/r,the 4last rites6antyes!t!i and 4faithf)l offerin!s6 2rddha, after death.

Providin! parents ith food in late life and after death as re!arded by villa!ers as perhaps the mostf)ndamental of all filial obli!ations. People providin! care for their parents in old a!e often spoke of4!ivin! ?them@ rice6 "ht doy. (hey especially stressed the effort mothers e7pend in no)rishin!their children, feedin! them milk from their on breasts, and the childrens obli!ation to reciprocatethis n)rt)rin!. S)bal >orai said ith emotion as he ministered to his mother d)rin! her last days, 4?+ymother@ fed me ith milk from her on breastsN ho co)ld / not feed her no56 /f families co)ldafford it, they often tried to provide their elders, as they do yo)n! children, special treats s)ch as fr)itand seets made from milk. Milla!ers e7plained that as people !ro older, their desire lo"h forspecial kinds of food increasesN if possible this desire sho)ld be ind)l!ed a bit. 9fter a death occ)rred,too, )nior s)rvivors spent a !reat deal of effort feedin! rice, ater, and treats milk, honey, yo!)rt,fr)it, seets to the departed spirit and the ancestors.

inally, villa!ers said that ad)lt children have an obli!ation to provide their a!ed and deceased parentsith the material !oods needed to live comfortably. Livin! parents sho)ld receive clothin!, a place tosleep, perhaps a little spendin! money, their medications, and the likeN once deceased, in the f)neralrites they receive clothin!, shoes, a bed, eatin! )tensils, an )mbrella, money, and so forth. /n this ay,)st as parents once provided their children ith the s)bstance of ho)sehold life, the children years laterreciprocate ith these same kinds of !oods.

9ll of these 4!ifts6 to a!ed and deceased parents8performin! the final sam!s/r,constr)ctin! nebodies for them, cleanin! them of )rine and feces, feedin! them, and providin! them ith materialnecessities8ere spoken of as acts entailin! considerable effort 'atna and s)fferin! /as!t!a. B)t nomatter ho m)ch effort the children e7ert, / as told, they can never eG)al their parents in s)fferin!and e7pense.

By en!a!in! in this series of reciprocal transactions, people in +an!aldihi orked to constr)ct lon!1term bonds of interdependence that connected people across the fl)ct)ations of family life. Cr)cial tothese reciprocations as the dimension of time. (hose ho en!a!ed in a transaction of food, a body,material !oods at one partic)lar time as a !ift from parent to child potentially !ained somethin!beyond that time8in f)t)re material ret)rns and desired acts provided by their children m)ch later,hen they ere old.


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transaction as de$erredto a later family phase, hen the parents had become old and the childrenere ad)lt ho)seholders fi!)re ". (h)s, a maor concern here as the dura"ilityof family relationsover time, and not simply the eG)ivalence of reciprocated e7chan!es.

i!)re ". Ielations of lon!1term, deferred reciprocity.

(his kind of thinkin!8investin! no for f)t)re family phases and reciprocated ret)rns8as e7plicitin villa!ers reasonin! abo)t hy they provided care for their elders. 9t the same time that ad)ltho)seholders ere providin! for their elders, they ere also raisin! their on children8and lookin!ahead to the time hen theyo)ld be in the position of the elder receivers, and their on childreno)ld they hoped be doin! the providin!. 9s one oman told me: 4/f e dont serve and respect o)relders, thenFmy on sons and da)!hters1in1la ill not serve me hen / !et old. /f / dont serve my22ur!3mother1in1la no, hen / !et old, my son ill ask me, id yo) serve yo)r22ur!39-hysho)ld / serve yo)56

S)ch lon!1term reciprocal transactions also served in lar!e part to maintain the 4bindin!s6 of a sam!sr,or family. 9 child may cry o)t in h)n!er, ca)sin! a 4p)ll6 t!n in his mother8and the mother ill !ive

him or her a breast to n)rse, or s)pply a plate of food. So an a!in! mother can also 4p)ll6 in h)n!er onthe bindin!s that tie her to her child hen her breasts are empty of milk in late life8and e7pect her!ron child to provide food in ret)rn. (hese !ifts of food, material !oods, and bodies back and forthover several family phases and even in death played a maor role in s)stainin! ho)seholds and familylines, as ell as the people ho made them )p.

Sylvia Mat)k "DD0:'' and passim also rites of relations of 4lon!1term inter!enerational reciprocity6ithin /ndian families livin! near elhi. She s)!!ests that this conception of parent1child reciprocity asa 4life1span relationship6 sharply distin!)ishes /ndian from 9merican vies of dependence in old a!e.St)dies s)ch as those by +ar!aret Clark "DE2, +ar!aret Clark and Barbara 9nderson "D'E, and+aria Mesperi "D&% reveal that many 9mericans find the need to depend on yo)n!er relatives fors)pport in old a!e destr)ctive to their sense of self1esteem and val)e as a responsible person. (hey are

distressed primarily beca)se the relationship beteen an a!ed parent and yo)n!er care!iver is !enerallynotperceived by these 9mericans8either the older person or the care!iver8as reciprocal, b)t rather asa one1ay flo of benefits from the caretaker to the 4dependent6 S. Mat)k "DD0:'%. )rthermore,most 9mericans e7pect the benefits in parent1child transactions to flo 4don,6 not 4)p6 from childrento parents. /t is proper for parents to !ive to children even, thro)!h !ifts of money or inheritances,hen their children are ad)ltsN b)t if an ad)lt child !ives to an a!ed parent, then the parent is seen aschildlike. Mesperi st)died !roin! old in a lorida city, here these old people 4find themselves in lifesit)ations here they are defined a %riorias dependent and child1like. (hey e7ist as s)pplicants, not aspartners in reciprocal e7chan!e. (he s)pplicant is a shadoy form, an empty cofferN he or she receivesb)t is not e7pected to !ive in ret)rn6 "D&%:E".


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still others ere left ith no children even to hope to depend on. Jonetheless, most contin)ed to thinkof parent1child relations as lon!1term reciprocal ones, and those ho kne somethin! of the UnitedStates reflected on the care, or hat they had heard to be the noncare, of the 9merican elderly ithhorror. /n +an!aldihi, even as many perceived fa)lts and flas in their relationships, the maority of4senior6 people ere cared for by sons and their ives in ho)seholds croded ith cookin! fires anddescendants table %, pa!e %$.

%. +an!aldihis Seniors: So)rces of S)pport, "DD0Source of Su&&ort Nu!er of Seniors

Lived ith sons and "ous '$

Lived ith da)!hter or other close relatives %

S)pported self thro)!h labor maidservant, co tender, maker of co d)n!patties, etc.

"E

S)pported self thro)!h independent income property, savin!s, etc. $

Be!!ar #

(otal D#J


40/195

hair to keep the mother and da)!hter 4one6 e/. /f she ere to ipe her da)!hters feet or herneborn childs navel ith her hand, hich is colder and more contained, the child o)ld become4other6 %ar.?"0@ inally, the mother ipes dry the feet of the bride and !room ith a cotton toel, orgm#h.

(he critical point of the rit)al comes ne7t: the brides mother stands, opens the blo)se )nder her sari,and has her da)!hter !est)re toard n)rsin! at her breast. Up )ntil no, villa!ers e7plained, the mother

has n)rt)red her da)!hter, and she offers her da)!hter her breast for the last time, before she t)rns herover to be fed and s)pported by her h)sband and his family. (he da)!hter then takes from ahandkerchief a handf)l of earth d)! from a mo)se hole durer mt!i,4the earth of a mo)se6 and placesit into a fold in her mothers sariN she repeats the act three times, as her mother hands the earth back toher. -ith each offerin!, the da)!hter repeats, 4+a, all that / have eaten from yo) for so many days, /pay back today ith this mo)ses earth6 M, eto din tomr ' /heye#hilm, ' ei durer mt!i diye t2odh /arlm. +other and da)!hter )s)ally eep as they perform this final act. (he mother hands thebride a brass tray or c)p filled ith rice and seets that the bride is to !ive to her mother1in1la henshe arrives at her ne home. (he mother then t)rns aay in tears and )s)ally does not atch herda)!hter depart.

/ heard several theories on the rit)al si!nificance of mo)ses earth. Some tho)!ht that beca)se mice livein the ho)se and eat rice !rains, the staple food of a ho)sehold, they are in some ays like the !oddessLaksmi, the !oddess of ealth and prosperity ho is associated ith rice. +o)ses earth can thereforebe re!arded as a form of ealth, like rice, and can be !iven to a mother in compensation for herconsiderable e7pendit)res. 9lternatively, Lina r)AAetti "D&2:%%O%', ho describes a similar rit)alamon! other Ben!ali omen, s)!!ests that the earth of a mo)se represents the life of a married oman,ho shifts ealth from ho)se to ho)se as the mo)se shifts earth. (he e7planation that seemed mostconvincin! to me, hoever, derived from the rit)als triviality. Several villa!e omen told meemphatically that of co)rse a da)!hters debts to her parents can never be tr)ly repaid. (hat is hy theda)!hter !ives s)ch a orthless item to her mother before she leaves, makin! it plain that she has notmatched the val)e of the debt.


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visits, they often secretly !ave their mothers !ifts of money, sari blo)ses, petticoats, and the like,especially if their h)sbands ho)seholds ere better off than their parents. 3oever, people believedthat it did not look !ood if a married da)!hter !ave too m)ch to her natal parents. +arried da)!htersare transformed from ni'er lo/,4on people,6 to /ut!um"s, relatives by marria!e,?""@ and th)s no lon!erri!htf)lly had the role of lookin! after and providin! for their parents.

9 married da)!hter does, hoever, inherit ne debts toar

aging northindia

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