paxton the great

2010

A Day In The Life Of A PaxtonStudent

DISCLAIMER: Over the last two years, we were supposed to be learning math. However, due to the following reasons, most of us became distracted. As students of the great Matt Paxton, we have come to know these as Paxtonisms. Mr. Paxton: thank you. Not just for the endless homework assignments to advance our mathematical brains, but for these….

Mary Winks repeated all of her announcements over

and over and over and over….

And it bugged the heck out of Paxton. He would even yell at

the intercom when no one was there.

“The common sense wagon’s gotta come to your house

‘cause if it misses you, you’reDONE.”

Over the summer the floorsgot waxed and there was

a piece of tape waxed over…ADD much?

“Diserpear.”

Kelsie vs. Paxton(practically every day)

Need I say more?

Oh yeah…Mauer got her’s before Paxton!

But when he got it, it sat in his room for a week becausehe couldn’t decide where to

put it.

Maier On

“That might be the gayest thingI’ve ever heard.”

- Quentin Detillion

“I came up with that!” - Christina Dawes

“Wow I made up two examplesand one is the exact same

as the other.”

“I have never seen thisgraph before…yeah I haveit’s probably been a long

time.”

“Putting the fun back infunctions.”

“It’s a lawyer firm.”- Ryan Valentine

“There’s no amby goody.”

“Ever see a baseball?”

“It’s like trying to kill an ant witha hand gernade.”

“Plastic lieing box.”

“Magiced it up!”

Paxton hit a deer…four weeksafter he paid his car off; in the

same spot he hit a deer 2 yearsbefore on his sister’s birthday.

“If my last name was Potter,I would name my kid Harry.”

Paxton was duct taped to a desk during a fire drill in high school.

Paxton’s friend hit a cow and totaled his car…and the cow.

Another friend hit a horse and killed it.

“If you were stranded on a desert island and you left yourchain rule at home, you could

probably work it out.”

“You don’t need any gizmosand gadgets, just put it

in there.”

“How do you cheer for Cross country?”-Kelsie Connolly

“You yell run!”-Paxton

Paxton’s friend shot a deerin the school parking lot.

“It’s like trying to kill an ant witha sledgehammer.”

“Good number monkeys.”

“My vocal audio.”

“You just forget your minds.”

“It doesn’t matter if it saysgreen purple dinosaur…”

“Weekly quizzes every week.”

“That ought to have made sense. I think it made sense to

me…kind of.”

“Log is something in the woods.”

“My daddy bought that for me.”(his Winnie the Pooh tie)

“Fooplot: it’s like food without the ‘duh’.”

808 = BOB

“We use a triangle in our stick person ‘cause it’s a woman.”

“I bet they wrote it as an ‘I’ll betchu’.”

“Mr. Paxton, if those two get together, are we gonna have

the UC mascot?”

Paxton found a lunch under his desk one day.

“You stand out really much.”

“Snortworthy.”

-Kenly Stidham

“Here’s what ate your lunch right here…”

“I just dyslexiaed that.”

Paxton was accused of stealing shovels, painting and letting his

dog pee on the ZT track…and still won SVC Coach of the Year.

“Some days my brain works, some days it doesn’t. I never

know when it’s gonna happen.”

“I hate teaching junior high. It drives me nuts…they’re not

even humans.”

“It would be like sending a million U.S. troops to clear out

the desert.”

“I’m the only person to put the entire school district on

probation.”

“When you’ve been at the school long enough that you

start to look like the mascot, it’s pretty bad.”

“One of the trailer park kids decided to kill a coyote and

throw it in the backyard…we suspect the Quincels’ are

involved.”

“Don’t ask me to explain it because I will blow your mind

and probably mine in the process.”

“Aww look, the x disappeared making this a happy problem.”

“I’m allergic to money.”

“That’s gotta be a girl ‘cause there’s not a boy basketball

player in the school that could make that shot.”

“Hyperactive gerbil mode.”

“Keep lettin’ it be what it’s supposed to do.”

“Santa Claus has to come save you…there’s no help for you.”

“You’re a smart one, that’s why they call you a SmartBoard.”

“Purple monkey dishwasher.”

“You’re know you’re gettin’ thrown right?” (to the phone)

“Now that’s shells with cheese.”

“I wonder what the Muslims call it, ‘cause you know that

they’re not calling it the Horn of Gabriel.”

“It’s like watching a cow eat a cheeseburger.”

SENIOR STORY TIME…

“They weren’t vicious, they just wandered around looking for

grass.” (Berne Union 7th graders)

GARY

- Yelled at a deer, tried to shoot it, the gun kicks back and hits

him in the head.- Hit the same deer with the

truck later, thought it was dead but it wasn’t. Gary wrestled it.

GARY (continued)- Jumps out of a tree stand and

sumo-wrestled a deer.- He was attacked by a squirrel-Even got stuck in a corn field

and didn’t know where he was.

“ I’m gonna find a board and fix his wagon."

“My dad being an ex-marine thought we hit a pedestrian.”

“Don’t cook the bear.”

“The world is an exciting place. Don’t bury your head in the

sand.”

2010

DONE.