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Blame Landseer!By Ronnie Bray

One of Great Britains most enduring monuments is the centrepiece of

Trafalgar Square. Sea Dog Horatio Nelson stands in stone atop an immense

column that pierces the sky above Londons Trafalgar Square, a fitting

tribute to one of our nations greatest heroes. Admiral Viscount Lord

Nelson beat the enemys plan to invade the British Isles and secure them for

France.

Nelson led a British Fleet of 32 ships against a French and Spanish

combined fleet of 38 ships with 4,000 infantrymen set on their ships as

marksmen to cut down British crews on the ships decks. Nelsons singularvictory at the Battle of Trafalgar ensured that Britains dominance at sea

remained unchallenged for the remainder of the 10 years of war against

France, and continued worldwide for another 120 years.

Nelsons statue standing on the column is larger than life at seventeen feet,

the column itself being 185 feet high, so that the top of Nelsons hat is 202

feet above Trafalgar square.

Although the Battle took place in 1805, the square and monument were not

completed until 1841, having taken 22 years to complete.

The base of the column is supported by four giant lions laid at ease but

watchful, each facing away from the column itself producing an imposing

memorial to a remarkable British sailor whose seamanship and tactical

genius saved a grateful nation from foreign occupation by an ancient enemy.

The size of the monument makes it hard to miss, and so two lesser well

known figures from British Military History chose it as a meeting place one

day late in 1952 when the British Fleet Air Arm and the British Army eachdecided that they could manage reasonably well without the services of Able

Seaman Peter David Yull, an Air Frame Engineer, and Craftsman Ronnie

Bray, a Vehicle Mechanic, respectively.

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With quite as much cunning as Nelson between them they devised a

foolproof strategy to meet in London and nominated Nelsons Monument as

their rendezvous.

Craftsman Bray was, as is his wont, on time, and chose to stand by the lion

that faced towards Westminster. As time went by and the delegate from the

Fleet Air Arm did not hove into view, the War Offices Military

representative considered what could have delayed his long time friends

arrival at the place of assignation.

Craftsman Bray reached into his uniform pocket to retrieve his sealed orders

and check the details, but finding his pockets devoid of such orders he

instantly recalled that no such instructions had been issued, and that he was

on his own. A chilling moment!

Considering an hour and a half after the appointed time had passed was

sufficient for the Fleet Air Arms arrival, even if it had to be towed, the

British Army abandoned the scene, hoping the while that nothing untoward

had been fired across the bows of his Aeronautical Naval comrade-in-arms.

With arms and backbone at the slouch, the disappointed Craftsman

wandered off resembling the interrogative that spun around his mind. But,

answer came there none. Until

Until the next day when both parties met up at the Mormon Servicemens

Conference they were in town to attend. The debriefing was hilarious. Both

parties had been true to their promise and each had been at the appointed

place at the appointed time. That they did not see each other could be laid

on the head of Sir Edwin Landseer, for he was responsible for the beats at

the base.

Although the column was completed in 1841, it was not until 1858, after

much rancorous discussion and in-fighting, including consideration of

several more sculptors, that Edwin Landseer was commissioned, at the sumof six thousand pounds, to sculpt and cast four colossal lions couchant to

placed on the radial pedestals at the base of Nelsons column.

Our mutual failure to meet was the result of their being four lions instead of

only one, and was further influenced by the fact that each of us chose a lion

crouched at 180 degrees from the lion of choice of the other.

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Had either of us chosen to loiter a circuitous course around the base to

assuage the ennui of waiting in vain for the other to appear, we would have

been successful in achieving our first avowed intent to meet and dine

together at Londons finest restaurant whose bill of fare could be enjoyed for

around two-and sixpence. Alternately, all this could have been avoided if

Landseer had fashioned but a single King of Beasts rather than four.

As far as we could tell, neither the Fleet Air Arm nor the British Army

suffered unduly from our presence, although some might disagree,

particularly those closely connected with Craftsman Bray and his basic

toolbox.

The experience, apart from providing humour in its telling, did encourage

me to make plans that are more detailed for all future assignations: a practiceI still employ. It makes life much easier, wastes less time, and is less

confusing. And, at a point in life when ease is a requirement, time is in short

supply, and confusion become a standard part of normal life, anything that

helps ease the load is more than a little welcome.

2011 Ronnie Bray