Fall 2•0•1•0

A Special Supplement of The Montana StandardGUIDE

2•Wedding Guide

Wedding Guide •3

Bridal Guide is published by The Montana Standard25 W. Granite • Butte, MT 59701 • 406-496-5500

4 Creating The Perfect Soundtrack For Your Wedding

6 Modern Drama Unfolds in Bridal Collection

8 Should You Elope? Guide to Getting Hitched

9 Take Two Tips for a Second Trip Down the Aisle

10 Look Your Best for the Big Day!

12 Avoid Common Wedding Scams

14 Honeymoon Cost-Cutting Ideas

16 Approaching the Issue of Children at Weddings

18 Themed Weddings: Campy or Creative?

20 Wedding Dress for Success

Fall 2•0•1•0

A Special Supplement of The Montana StandardGUIDE

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4•Bridal Guide

If you’ve figured out by now that music is the key to a great wedding, you’re right: it’s the secret ingredient of every great wedding. The right song at the right time can evoke strong feel-ings and help solidify memories of the day long after the last dance.

Unfortunately, many couples don’t focus as much at-tention on their musical program as they do on picking out a reception hall, or florist. Too often, they leave crucial music

decisions to their DJ or band. This can be a huge mistake, ac-cording to wedding music experts Gloria Sklerov and Barbara Rothstein, professional songwriters who set romance to music for films and TV, and are creators of www.weddingmusiccen-tral.com

“While flowers, clothes and decor may make a wed-ding ‘look’ beautiful, it’s well-planned music that makes a wedding ‘feel’ beautiful” says Sklerov, who has won multiple

Creating the Perfect Soundtrack For Your Wedding

photograph by: Lisa Wareham Photography

Bridal Guide •5

Emmys for wedding songs featured on daytime TV and has written songs for Sinatra, Cher and other top artists.

Think about weddings you’ve attended. How did you measure their success? Probably by whether you had a good time...or not. Top wedding coordinators know that music is the ‘good-time-factor’ of a wedding. People have a good time when they can participate, and feel connected to it all. It’s a good sign when guests get up to dance frequently and when they’re sharing in the emotions of sentimental moments like father/daughter, mother/son dances, etc. When the music is dull or constantly intrusive, and there’s little involvement and interaction among the guests, chances are they’re waiting for the right time to say goodbye.

Sklerov and Rothstein realized that couples have ‘no way of knowing what they don’t know’ and really do need expert music planning guidance and information to plan a suc-cessful wedding program. Thanks to them, brides and grooms everywhere have access to expert know-how and a step-by-step planning system with their book, “How To Set Your Wedding To Music,” the complete wedding music guide and planner. Here are some of their tips for a memorable event:

CEREMONY AND RECEPTION

Create a Plan: Visualize your wedding as a film, and think about the songs that would coordinate best with the scenes that unfold. For example, imagine the processional, the unity candle ceremony, the father/daughter dance, the mother/son dance, or even a special tribute to an important person in your life as you listen to sound clips of songs written especially for those moments.

Stay Organized: Keep a notebook and jot down songs you’ve heard or ideas you’ve gathered. Then, when you finalize your choices and discuss them in detail with your band or DJ you can consider their suggestions without feeling pressured.Book Your DJ or Band: Once you know your date, book as soon as possible. DJs and bands have distinct advantages and disadvantages. DJs are usually less expensive, take up less space and offer playback of original songs by original artists. Bands can provide live sound and make any occasion seem elegant. Generally however, they are costly and your songs will be in-terpreted by the band, not necessarily performed with the ‘feel’ you like or are used to.

Go Beyond the Boring and Basic: Happily for the thousands of brides and grooms who’ve discovered weddingmusiccentral.com, there’s no reason for wedding music to be dull or ineffectual. The Web site offers an exclusive line of music CDs created especially for weddings by Grammy and Emmy-winning writers, artists and producers, plus in-depth expert planning articles. The CDs feature exciting contemporary arrangements of classical ceremony favorites and pop standards, fresh new wedding songs for Fathers & Daugh-ters, Mothers & Sons, and other special relationships including stepparents, and families of second marriages.

“When writing for film and TV,” says Rothstein, “we had to master the art of enhancing each scene with the right touch of emotion ... adding to the significance of important moments.” Their unique special songs such as “My Little Girl”, “The Man You’ve Become” and “Yours, Mine & Ours” for fa-thers and daughters, mothers and sons and other relationships have gone on to become popular favorites for weddings.

Keep Your Guests in Mind: Consider the tastes of your guests. Make sure singles and older guests can enjoy the music as well. Include timeless standards and music of different eras that all guests will enjoy.

UNIQUE TOUCHESIn addition to the music that is played on your special day, songs and sentiments can be sent in advance of your wedding and afterward as well. You can ‘send more than a card ... you can send a song’ with the unique musical ideas that Sklerov and Rothstein offer with their Personalized CD Singles line:

• “Save the Date” CDs -- featuring the classic “Chapel of Love” and your save-the-date information imprinted directly on the CD. Send them to your guests in lieu of the standard save-the-date card.

• Personalized Gift CD Singles -- a selection of songs for mom, dad or even bridesmaids and maids of honor. You can ex press personal sentiments for your parents and friends with a special song they’ll love.

• CD Thank You ‘Notes’ -- The wedding thank you song, “Thank You For Your Gift Of Love” with your names im printed on each CD is an original ‘musical’ way to say ‘thank you’ instead of sending an ordinary thank you card.

by-step planning system with their book, “How To Set Your Wedding To Music,” the complete wedding music guide and planner. Here are some of their tips for a memorable event:

CEREMONY AND RECEPTION

Create a Plan: Visualize your wedding as a film, and think about the songs that would coordinate best with the scenes that unfold. For example, imagine the processional, the unity candle ceremony, the father/daughter dance, the mother/son dance, or even a special tribute to an important person in your life as you listen to sound clips of songs written especially for those moments.

Stay Organized:Keep a notebook and jot down songs you’ve heard or ideas you’ve gathered. Then, when you finalize your choices and discuss them in detail with your band or DJ you can consider their suggestions without feeling pressured.Book Your DJ or Band: Once you know your date, book as soon as possible. DJs and bands have distinct advantages and disadvantages. DJs are usually less expensive, take up less space and offer playback of original songs by original artists. Bands can provide live sound and make any occasion seem elegant. Generally however, they are costly and your songs will be in-terpreted by the band, not necessarily performed with the ‘feel’ you like or are used to.

Keep Your Guests in Mind: Consider the tastes of your guests. Make sure singles and older guests can enjoy the music as well. Include timeless standards and music of different eras that all guests will enjoy.

UNIQUE TOUCHESIn addition to the music that is played on your special day, songs and sentiments can be sent in advance of your wedding and afterward as well. You can ‘send more than a card ... you can send a song’ with the unique musical ideas that Sklerov and Rothstein offer with their Personalized CD Singles line:

• “Save the Date” CDs -- featuring the classic “Chapel of Love” and your save-the-date information imprinted directly on the CD. Send them to your guests in lieu of the standard save-the-date card.

• Personalized Gift CD Singles -- a selection of songs for mom, dad or even bridesmaids and maids of honor. You can ex press personal sentiments for your parents and friends with a special song they’ll love.

• CD Thank You ‘Notes’ -- The wedding thank you song, “Thank You For Your Gift Of Love” with your names im printed on each CD is an original ‘musical’ way to say ‘thank you’ instead of sending an ordinary thank you card.

6•Wedding Guide

Modern Drama Unfolds in Bridal Collection

Designer Anne Bowen is best known for her spirited, sexy and modern collections. Her luxury brand designs play upon the inner confidence and individuality of women every-where. Bowen began designing at a very young age. She experimented with rich colors, textures and draping and sup-ported by her designer mother. Her designs possess simplicity in silhouette with an exquisite structure and are often adorned with semi-precious and precious stones. Although she is renown for stylized evening wear, Bowen has since brought her distinguished, red carpet de-sign philosophy to the bridal market. Architecture fused with simple, fresh and non-traditional, the gowns stay true to the Anne Bowen aesthetic. Bowen’s collection offers a no-frills drama, atypical of bridal designs to-date. Luxurious textures of silk taffeta, tulle

and organza have been hand-sewn into beautifully structured pieces, elegantly embellished with Swarovski crystals -- both large and small -- in a modern drama best defined by clean lines, detachable trains, and shortened hemlines. “My pieces offer a simple, yet creative interpretation of the purity, elegance and individuality brides seek for when looking for ‘the dress’,” offers Bowen. To complete the vision of her first Bridal Collection, Bowen has also created her first collection of fine jewelry including necklaces, bracelets, earrings and commitment rings -- all adorned with semi-precious and precious stones. “I think it’s time to add a bit of drama to bridal jewelry. The dresses are structured and modern, the jewelry is meant to add a flash of sparkle and color with stones such as Tourmaline, Amethyst and Peridot,” she says. For the discerning bride looking for her one-of-a-kind gown, the Anne Bowen Bridal Collection is available at select retailers across the country.

Wedding Guide •7

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8•Wedding Guide

Should You Elope? Guide to Getting Hitched Weddings can be expensive, time-consuming and stress-ful to plan. Few couples embroiled in the process haven’t thought about running away to elope. It’s certainly spontaneous and can be cost-effective. But is it for you? Roughly 100,000 couples head to Las Vegas each year to say their “I Dos.” Vegas is the self-proclaimed wedding capital of the world. With a growing number of celebrities and high-profile individuals running off to get hitched in low-key ceremonies, eloping can seem quite enticing. Consider these pros and cons before you book your airline tickets.

AdvantagesThere are several advantages to eloping. The foremost reason is cost. Couples who elope at City Hall or close by will pay a nominal fee for their nuptials. A marriage license may only be around $50 or more, and your other expenses will be ward-robe and transportation to and from the event. Eloping is also a viable idea for couples with family issues. If some members of the family do not get along or if there are individuals who don’t approve of the marriage, it can be easier to avoid the drama of a wedding ceremony and reception and get mar-ried in a small, simple ceremony ... alone. A bride who has lost her father or mother may choose to forego the pomp and circumstance of walking down the aisle for a simpler ceremony. Another reason to elope is to avoid the stress and hassle of planning the wedding. Some people are born organizers and planners. Others get overwhelmed just deciding on what to eat for dinner. When eloping, the only things couples must plan are the where, when and how of the event. Fewer people involved means fewer hassles.

DisadvantagesEloping does have its share of disadvantages, as well. Primar-ily it’s experienced only by the bride and groom and perhaps a witness. This means others won’t be around to share in this momentous event. Some people who elope later regret the not having a more traditional ceremony. Chances are a few people will have hurt feelings if you choose to elope and not include them in the wedding. Parents of the bride and groom may feel left out. Remember, a wedding is a celebration not just for the bride and groom, but for their families as well. If you’re running off to get married because a family member doesn’t approve of your future spouse, you could permanently fracture the relationship this person will have with the family.

If You Decide to Elope, Do it With StyleIf you’ve assessed the pros and cons and have decided to elope, consider these pointers.• Research the marriage requirements in the place where you have decided to marry. Some foreign locales require a layover period of a few days to a week before filling out the marriage papers and getting married.• Choose a location that has meaning for you. Don’t pick a place simply because of popularity.• Elope, but still invite a few people to witness the event. One or two close friends, your parents or siblings can stand in as witnesses at the ceremony.• If you choose to do it as a duo, hire a photographer to take pictures of the ceremony and mail out an announcement to your family and friends.• Host a reception for close family and friends so they can celebrate the betrothal. It doesn’t have to be a lavish affair. A cocktail party or barbecue is adequate.• If you elope in secrecy, don’t count on lavish wedding gifts.• Put the money you would have spent on a wedding toward the down payment on a house. Get married in the backyard or living room of your new place and have a wedding/ house-warming party.

photograph by: TLC Photography

Wedding Guide •9

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Take Two Tips for a Second Trip Down the Aisle A second wedding is a chance to focus more on what you want as a couple instead of the wedding your parents may had hoped for you. Today there are no rules in second weddings; the happy couple can customize it as they see fit.Chances are someone you know will make another trip down the aisle at one point in his or her life. Individuals who have lost a spouse or have divorced may eventually choose to remarry.

Second weddings are a great way for couples to showcase their personalities and don’t have to be constrained by tradition. Here are some top tips for taking that trip down the aisle the second time around.

• Put your first wedding out of your mind. Now is not the time to make comparisons. This wedding should be all about you and your new spouse-to-be. Go for something completely different than your prior wedding so there will be no side-by-side comparisons.• Choose a wedding party you really want. You can have a lavish wedding again, com plete with a big bridal party. However, this time around you can choose the friends and family members you really desire to stand beside you, instead of individuals you may have felt obligated to include the first time around.• Go ahead and wear white. Tradition once stated that take-two brides were not sup posed to wear white. Toss tradition aside and go ahead and do what you want. Just be sure the gown compliments your age and body shape and doesn’t seem too virginal. If your previous wedding was annulled, you also may be able to wear a wedding veil.• Include your children in the festivities and planning. If you or your future spouse has children from a previous marriage, make them feel a part of this new blended family by including them in the second wedding. They may play a role in the ceremony, such as making a speech or reading a religious passage. Other brides and grooms choose to have their children walk them down the aisle this time around. Also, involve the kids in the planning. They may be excited to help you choose wedding vendors or address invitations.• Personalize your event. Take the time to write your own vows, make handmade favors or single out the special people in your lives.• Feel free to be extravagant. You may be more established in life with a secure job and bigger paycheck. Therefore you can expand the wedding budget a little more. Go for all of the goodies you may have passed on with your previous marriage, such as exotic foods or that extra-long honeymoon.• Involve the groom as well. Today’s modern men want a say in their wedding just as much as the bride, say wedding experts. Make sure he is apprised of all the details and ensure that he is able to make it to vendor appointments and the like.

Just as a second wedding is a second chance for happiness, it is another opportunity to throw the wedding of your dreams.

10•Wedding Guide

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Look Your Best for the Big Day!Wedding Weight Loss Tips

Getting married can be a huge motivating force for losing weight and shaping up. According to Janice Rassin, National Bridal Director at Meyer Corporation, U.S., “Today’s Brides begin a transformation process 8 months before their wedding day. Their first step is starting a healthy eating plan followed by a new exercise regiment. Making your own meals at home is the easiest way to balance nutrition, manage por-tions and cut calories.”

Weddings tend to have a similar effect on members of the bridal party, parents of the engaged couple, and guests. It’s a joyous occasion when everyone dresses up and wants to make a great impression. So whether you’re the happy bride, the maid of honor, the bride’s mother or a dear friend, con-sider an upcoming wedding occasion a fabulous opportunity to look and feel your very best.

Wedding Guide •11

“Losing a few pounds has benefits beyond reducing a size,” says Rassin. “Nutrients from fruits and vegetables improve the look of your skin and hair.”

Here are some useful tips and strategies for wedding weight loss:

• Set a realistic timeframe to reach your weight goal, under standing that slow and steady is preferable to fast and drastic drops in pounds. For most people, that means a weight loss of 1-2 pounds per week to avoid the counter-productive result of losing lean muscle tissue.

• Choose an eating plan that is nutritionally sound and will provide all the energy you need during this extraordinarily busy, and often stressful, period of planning a wedding. Avoid the temptation of fad diets, which tend to be unbalanced, restrictive and effective only in temporarily losing water weight, rather than excess fat.

• Focus your attention on all the wonderful foods you can eat on a healthy weight loss program, rather than obsessing about the foods that should be avoided. Fill up on nutrient-dense, fresh fruits and vegetables, as well as fiber-rich legumes.

• Sign up for a cooking class, ideally with your fiance, to hone your skills and knowledge about how to sear, saute, poach, steam, grill, roast, and bake a myriad of different sweet and savory foods with healthy and delicious results. You’ll have fun learning and mastering fundamental techniques and methods.

• Register for high quality pots and pans. You’ll have more confidence in the kitchen using well made cookware -- the number one bridal registry gift. Home cooking is essential to maintaining a healthy lifestyle, since you have complete control over a meal’s ingredients and portion sizes. Cooking with nonstick cookware is one of the easiest ways to reduce fat calories from your meals. Choose durable, heavy gauge nonstick cookware, such as Infinite Circulon, which heats up evenly and allows you to make even the stickiest dishes, like scrambled eggs, with little or no added oil or butter.

Another one to try is new Circulon Contempo hard-anodized nonstick cookware, featuring contemporary styling and innovative storage solutions. For example, a hinged loop on the handle allows you to hang the cookware on a display rack, or tuck in when storing in cabinets. Also, the cookware’s well-designed lids slide neatly over the handles for additional space-saving convenience. Circulon, a long-established leader of high quality nonstick cookware, celebrates its 25th anniversary this year. For more information on Circulon cookware collec-

tions, anniversary promotions, as well as recipes and tips for healthy cooking.

• Enlist the help of a personal trainer to teach you how to exercise properly. Most personal trainers recommend a minimum of 2 one-hour long sessions a week, and sessions frequently combine core muscle strength-training, cardio and endurance exercises. It’s a great way to learn the right moves, overcome any hesitancy about lifting weights, and make sure you’re safely pushing yourself beyond your comfort zone for best results.

• If a personal trainer or gym membership isn’t right for you, consider options on the Internet. There’s a growing num ber of professionally designed Web diet and fitness programs geared to helping brides reach their fitness goals by their wedding day. Several dedicated sites provide a full range of useful tools you can tap with your fingers -- customized meal planner, customized fitness plan, recipe database, shopping list, food log, calorie calculator, activity calculator, journal, message boards, exercise DVDs, and more.

• Get a good night’s sleep. Being tired makes it a lot harder to manage stress and focus on eating right. Health experts gen erally advise on getting 7-8 hours of sleep every night. When you’re well rested, it’s much easier to exercise with gusto, and smartly choose an apple over a candy bar to power through the afternoon.

• Be mindful at each meal. The latest buzz in weight loss advice is becoming more conscious of what you eat, which leads to greater satisfaction and reduces the likelihood of over-eating. Eating slowly is key, as well as removing all distractions and “multi-tasking” behavior, such as watching TV, reading, working on the computer, etc.

• Find a reason to get physical. Unless your work involves a lot of physical action, you’ll likely need to get creative in sneaking more opportunities to get up and move. At the office, stroll over to a colleague’s desk to ask a question instead of e-mailing. Walk or bike to run errands in the neighborhood. Take the stairs instead of the elevator in buildings when feasible. Catch up with friends over a walk in the park. Clean out an attic or garage. Even bake a loaf of bread -- kneading by hand is a great work out for your arms!

12•Wedding Guide

Matthew and Ellen had the wedding of their dreams on a beautiful June day. All of the details went off without a hitch, or so they thought. When the time arrived to receive their wedding photo albums and video a few months after the wedding, the photographer who had promised them the world closed up shop, filed for bankruptcy and absconded with the new couple’s precious memories.

Tales of wedding woes frequent the news, especially as wedding season approaches. Stories about reception sites that have double-booked rooms, photographers who have not delivered photos, bridal gown shops that don’t have a dress finished on time and so many similar events are no longer a rarity.

The majority of wedding vendors are respectable busi-nesses looking to provide couples with the ideal services and memories of their special day. However, some other vendors are just looking to make money at all costs.

Avoiding trouble with your wedding means taking matters into your own hands and thoroughly protecting yourself.• Investigate the business or individual before exchanging money. A simple search online for reviews or checking with the Better Business Bureau should reveal if a business has any complaints against it. Complaints can range from bad service to lawsuits. This easy step can protect couples from poten- tially going into business with a company that should not be trusted.

• Get word-of-mouth recommendations. A couple who has used a particular bridal vendor and had pleasant results is the best advertisement. Ask friends and family members who have gotten married who they used for flowers, photos, music and more. Using the same people is not being a copy- cat; it’s being a shrewd consumer.

• Contracts are essential. Have all of the details of the business transaction spelled out in a contract that both the vendor and you sign. Writing “Size 8” gown is not enough. Make sure the model number, price, details regarding deposits, alterations, etc., are included. DJs can write how many hours they will be playing music, how many breaks they will take, who exactly will be handling the wedding itself, and other details.

• Check who will be servicing your wedding. On occasion a business may subcontract its services. For example, the photographer you meet at the studio may not be the photographer who shows up at your wedding. If you have a preference as to who services your event, be sure to request that person and have it included in the contract.

• Obtain certification. Some scams are more subtle. For instance, bridal shops who remove designer labels from gowns because they are not authorized retailers is a subtle scam. Another is jewelry stores that misrepresent the quality of diamonds and other jewelry. Be sure to get legitimate certification when purchasing anything of value.

• Ensure the vendor has the equipment described. Some limousine companies may send out flyers advertising high- end vehicles they don’t actually own or have access to. They subsequently arrive on your wedding day with a different vehicle. Without a contract specifying the vehicle of your choice, you have little recourse against the company. Filter out shady brokers by asking to come inspect their vehicles on an off-day, like Tuesday afternoon. You want to verify that they indeed own the limo, and that it’s in good condition.

• Skimpy floral arrangements. Upon booking a florist, most businesses will sit down with couples and work up a sample bouquet or arrangement based on personal preferences. Come the wedding day, however, couples might find their arrangements have considerably fewer flowers in them or they’re not the blooms originally chosen. Flowers are expen- sive, and some florists cut costs by skimping on the amount of actual flowers (not filler) they use. Be sure contracts spell out how many flowers will be in each arrangement, what type of flowers, how many centerpieces, bouquets, bouton- nieres, etc.

Be sure you can enjoy your wedding and get the services you paid for by being savvy consumers. Don’t simply open up your wallet to the first vendor you meet.

• Check who will be servicing your wedding. On occasion a

photographer who shows up at your wedding. If you have a preference as to who services your event, be sure to request

gowns because they are not authorized retailers is a subtle scam. Another is jewelry stores that misrepresent the quality

limousine companies may send out flyers advertising high- end vehicles they don’t actually own or have access to. They subsequently arrive on your wedding day with a different

choice, you have little recourse against the company. Filter out shady brokers by asking to come inspect their vehicles on an off-day, like Tuesday afternoon. You want to verify that they indeed own the limo, and that it’s in good condition.

• Skimpy floral arrangements. Upon booking a florist, most businesses will sit down with couples and work up a sample

Come the wedding day, however, couples might find their arrangements have considerably fewer flowers in them or they’re not the blooms originally chosen. Flowers are expen- sive, and some florists cut costs by skimping on the amount of actual flowers (not filler) they use. Be sure contracts spell out how many flowers will be in each arrangement, what type of flowers, how many centerpieces, bouquets, bouton-

services you paid for by being savvy consumers. Don’t simply

Avoid Common Wedding Scams

Wedding Guide •13Wedding Guide •13

photograph by: {a.j. photograhpy}

14•Wedding Guide

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Honeymoon Cost-Cutting Ideas

After all of the stress that comes with planning and pre-paring a wedding, most couples head off to a resort for some much-needed R&R. The locales couples choose to spend their honeymoon are as varied as the couples themselves. While many couples head for a seaside resort, others choose adven-turous getaways to such places as the Alaskan wilderness. Whichever destination couples choose to spend their first vacation as husband and wife, one thing all couples can count is the cost. More specifically, the high cost of the honey-moon is something to count on. However, not all honeymoons need to break the bank. In fact, there are several ways couples can save substantial amounts of money while still enjoying their first getaway as a married couple.

• Research where you’ll be staying. Oftentimes, hotels offer luxury at a very high price. Particularly in locales where many couples spend their honeymoon, such accommodations can be quite costly. However, savvy couples might be able to circumvent costly hotel accommodations if they do their re search early. Bed and breakfasts (B&B), for example, often range from practical to ultra-luxurious, and tend to cost a fraction of what luxury hotels charge. Many couples actually prefer B&Bs, feeling they’re more charming and cozy.

One thing to be diligent about with respect to B&Bs is the size of the accommodations, most notably the bedding. Not all B&Bs provide king or even queen-size bedding, and some might not provide private bathrooms. Be sure to confirm with the B&B as to each room’s accommodations before making a reservation.

Wedding Guide •15

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• Consider traveling during the “off” season. Whereas spring and summer were once the most popular seasons to tie the knot, nowadays many couples are looking to the fall to get married. While the months of June and July remain the most popular, September and October weddings have grown in popularity for a variety of reasons, not the least of which is the aesthetic appeal of the fall seasons.

Another advantage to a fall wedding is the opportunity for couples to save money on their honeymoon by travel ing during the “off” season. Peak season at beachside resorts is typically the summer months, and rates are therefore higher. However, traveling to a resort during the “off” season can save substantial amounts of money, and the weather will no doubt still be beautiful. What’s more, local business will most likely boast better deals as well, and the resort will not be as crowded as it typically is during peak season.

• Consider a cruise. Cruises might seem more expensive at first glance, but many cruises offer all-inclusive deals, wherein food and beverages are all paid for, and entertainment is provided. In addition, couples who take a cruise will get the chance to see a variety of seaside locales. And since the cruise already has an itinerary planned, it’s a nice break from all the planning that went into the wedding.

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16•Wedding Guide

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Approaching the Issue of Children at Weddings

There are no etiquette rules regarding whether chil-dren should attend weddings. The decision is entirely up to the couple getting married.

If you are a guest invited to a wedding and your children are not, there is no reason to take offense. You should certainly respect the wishes of the bride and groom. It is improper to turn up at the occasion with your children and put the couple on the spot.

Young children are unpredictable and cannot be trusted to behave at all times. Couples may not want to have their festivities -- often occasions that cost $30,000 or more -- to be interrupted by children who may be a little too boisterous.

Also, children may be an inconvenience to adults sim-ply looking to have a good time. How much can you enjoy yourself if you are constantly keeping an eye on a toddler or tending to an infant? Chances are your wedding experience will be compromised.

All in all, many other couples welcome the idea of having children at their weddings. Children represent the extended family and the next generation. They can add life to a party and look adorable dressed in party clothes.

If your child is invited to a wedding, or you are the happy couple tying the knot, consider these tips.

• Although children of all ages may be welcome, it’s often better to limit children to ages 4 and older, especially if they’ll be participating in the ceremony as a ring bearer or flower girl. Children of this age are better able to take direction and are a little more mature. Check if your ceremony site has rules regarding children in the ceremony.

• If you want to compromise when inviting children, allow them to be present at the church or synagogue, but restrict them from the reception. You can carefully word this on the invitation by saying “Adult Reception.”

• Talk to the caterer to find out if there is a reduced fare on children’s dinners. This can save on costs, particularly if children aren’t likely to eat an adult meal.

Wedding Guide •17

• Children invited to the wedding reception should be dressed accordingly for the formality of the event. Now is not the time for sneakers and jeans.

• Provide entertainment for children during the lulls of the event. Kids may love to get up and dance, but become antsy during dinner courses. Pack along a goodie bag of games, DVDs and toys that can keep them occupied.

• Find out if you can bring along a kid’s chaperone, namely a babysitter or friend who can keep an eye on the kids while you enjoy yourself.

• The bride and groom may want to set up a “kiddie corral” area in the reception room, particularly if they plan to invite a lot of young children. Put down foam interlocking mats and fence off the area so kids are contained.

• If the wedding will be open to children, consider adjusting the hours so that it takes place earlier in the day. This way parents will have time to get their children to bed on or close to their normal bedtime.

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18•Wedding Guide

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Themed Weddings: Campy or Creative?

Fairy tale wedding or modern twist? Many brides- and grooms-to-be have been thinking about their ideal wedding for years. Some may have strong ideas about wedding ideas, com-plete with scrapbooks featuring color schemes and wardrobe choices. Themed weddings have grown in popularity -- as couples want to do what they can to set their event apart from the scores of other weddings guests have attended. The key to themed weddings is to create a balance between tradition and elements that tie into the theme. This way the wedding is classy instead of over-the-top ... unless, however, over-the-top is what’s desired.

• Decide on your theme: Develop a clear idea of what you’d like the theme to be. Themes can range from tie-ins to sea sons to specific interests, such as sports or hobbies, to a particular color scheme. Once you have a firm concept of your theme, you can plan and shop around it. For the pur pose of illustration, let’s use a winter theme as an example.

• Introduce your theme with stationery: Your save-the-date cards or wedding invitations will present the theme to your guests, and could be the building block for the entire wed ding. A winter-themed wedding may feature a whimsical font of swirly patterned type evoking the feel of winter wind. Delicate polka-dots could hint at falling snow. Avoid snowmen and ski boots.

• Keep it simple: A winter theme may be achieved simply with color. Draperies, flowers, seat covers, table linens, etc. in a frosty blue, silver or white will touch upon the feel of winter. There’s no need to clutter up the space with nicknacks that make the theme overwhelming. Remember, you want the event to still be traditional, with touches of the theme throughout.

• Choose an accent: There may be one concept of your theme that you’d like to build upon, such as snowflakes. However, instead of paper snowflakes hanging from the ceiling, which would be more reminiscent of a classroom instead of a recep tion room, think about other subtle ways to incorporate the accent. Delicate doilies under the china could hint at snow flakes. Italian pizzelle cookies dusted with powdered sugar look like snowflakes and are very tasty. Instead of Jordan almonds in favors, use large nonpareils. Ask the venue to create a signature cocktail that’s white and frosty.

Rely on flowers and lighting: Flowers, foliage and other natural accents can add a special touch to your wedding. Nature provides so many different hued and shaped flow-ers that can work effortlessly into your theme. Hydrangea or snowball plants (also called Guelder rose) form large puffs of flowers that resemble snowballs and are aptly named. Delicate alyssum and even the common baby’s breath can be tucked into floral arrangements to add a snowflake appeal.

Lighting is something couples often overlook. Famed party planner David Tutera often uses lighting to set the mood at the events he plans. Changing the color or the scope of the lighting for different parts of your reception can create different moods.

Choose festive foods: Foods don’t necessarily need to look like themed elements (mashed potato ski slopes). How-ever, you can touch on the theme by using seasonal foods such as winter squashes, hearty foods or seasonal fruits.

Creating a theme doesn’t have to be ostentatious or evoke feelings of a kids’ birthday party. Subtle touches that are cohesive will provide the desired mood.

Wedding Guide •19

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20•Wedding Guide

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Wedding Dress for Success: Stay True to Your Personal Style

For most brides-to-be, the choice of a dress is among the first and most important decisions in planning a wedding. With thousands of choices in every price range, finding the perfect wedding dress can be a difficult and time-consuming process. But by making some decisions before setting foot in a store, the search will be both easier and a whole lot more enjoyable.

First things firstStart by knowing your limits. To avoid disappointment down the line, determine the maximum amount that you can spend on a dress -- and don’t forget to include all the little extras, such as undergarments, shoes, jewelry, veil, and/or hair orna-ments. Next, take an inventory of your personal style. If you know that you’re not comfortable in strapless or sleeveless dresses, for example, you can immediately eliminate these op-tions. The trick is to rule out a few style options before hitting the magazines or stores and then be open to all other options.

Firm yet flexibleThere will be no shortage of opinions -- from mothers, sisters, friends, and store personnel -- about your choice of a wedding dress, but the decision, ultimately, is the bride’s alone. A great strategy is to be open to suggestions about dresses to try on, but reserve the right to choose the look that feels right to you. With so many potential options, you might want to consider bringing along a camera and taking photos of yourself in the dresses that could be “contenders.”

Go for a flattering fitRemember: Your goal is to find a dress that flatters your body and expresses your personal style -- not to fit into a particular size. If you look ghostly in white, feel free to choose a creamier shade or a dress that has decorative accents of a different color near your neck, shoulders and face. Similarly, there’s no rule

that a wedding dress has to be floor-length. If you’re planning a daytime or more casual wedding, you might want to con-sider a tea-length dress (one that falls a few inches above the ankle) or go even shorter.

Comfort is keyStyle and fit may be the two most important factors in choos-ing a wedding dress, but comfort should be a close third. Ask yourself if you will be comfortable in a particular dress given the setting in which your wedding will take place. For instance, if you’ve always dreamed of an outdoor wedding, you may want forego a dress with a long, trailing train that could trip you up on your walk to or down the aisle. Even if you’re planning an indoor event, having a dress and shoes that are as comfortable as they are beautiful will greatly increase your odds of enjoying your special day to the fullest.

Wedding Guide •21

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22•Wedding Guide

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Wedding Guide •23

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