8/13/2019 Jill Sobule

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The Jill and Julia Show

Jill Sobule: At a conference in Monterey by the big, big jellyfish tank, I first saw you and I got so shy. You see, I was a little paranoid 'cause I might have been high. And I hadn't done that in ages and I won't do that again. But that's another story. Loved you forever and I've been a big fan, the one-woman shows, I even rented "Pat." I got enough nerve to come up to you, but little did I know one year later we'd be doing this show. I sing. Julia Sweeney: I tell stories. Together: The Jill and Julia Show. Sobule: Sometimes it works. Sweeney: Sometimes it doesn't. Together: The Jill and Julia Show. Sweeney: At a conference in Monterey next to the big, big jellyfish tank,

I first saw you and I wasn't so shy. I made a beeline for you and told you what a huge fan I wasever since I was writing that pilotfor Fox, and Wendyand I wanted you to do the theme song.And then the pilot didn't go and Iwas so sad,but I kept remaining a fan of yours.And then when I went through that big,horrible breakup with Carland I couldn't get off the couch, I listened to your song, "NowThat I Don't Have You," over and over and over and over again.And I can't believe you'rehere and that I'm meeting you here at TED.And also, I can't believe that we're eating sushiinfront of the fish tank,which, personally, I think is really inappropriate.(Laughter)(Applause)

And little did I know that one year later ... we'd be doing this show. Sobule: I sing. Sweeney: I tell stories. Together: The Jill and Julia Show. Sobule: Hey, they asked us back! Sweeney: Can you stand it?! Together: The Jill and Julia, the Jill and Julia, the Jill and Julia Show. Sobule: Why are all our heroes so imperfect?

Why do they always bring me down? Why are all our heroes so imperfect? Statue in the park has lost his crown. William Faulkner, drunk and depressed. Sweeney: Mmm. Dorothy Parker, mean, drunk and depressed. Sweeney: I know. And that guy, "Seven Years in Tibet," turned out to be a Nazi. Sweeney: Yeah. Founding fathers all had slaves. Sweeney: I know. The explorers slaughtered the braves. Sweeney: Horribly. Sobule: The Old Testament God can be so petty. Sweeney: Don't get me started on that. (Laughter) Sobule: Paul McCartney, jealous of John, even more so now that he's gone. Dylan was so mean to Donovan in that movie. Pablo Picasso, cruel to his wives. Sweeney: Horrible.

Sobule: My favorite poets took their own lives. Orson Welles peaked at twenty-five, below before our eyes. And he sold bad wine. Together: Why are all our heroes so imperfect? Yeah Why do they alwaysbring me down? Sobule: Heard Babe Ruth was full of malice. Sweeney: Oh. Lewis Carroll I'm sure did Alice. Sweeney: What?! Plato in the cave with those very young boys. Sweeney: Ooh... Sobule: Hillary supported the war. Sweeney: Even Thomas Friedman supported the war. (Laughter) Sobule: Colin Powell turned out to be ... Together: ... such a pussy. (Laughter)(Applause) Sobule: William Faulkner, drunk and depressed,

Tennessee Williams, drunk and depressed. Sweeney: Yeah. Sobule: Take it, Julia.

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8/13/2019 Jill Sobule

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Sweeney: Okay. Oprah was never necessarily a big hero of mine.I mean, I watch Oprahmostly when I'm home in Spokanevisiting my mother. And to my mother,Oprah is a greatermoral authority than the Pope,which is actually saying something because she's a devoutCatholic.Anyway, I like Oprah -- I like her girlfriendy-ness,I like her weight issues,I like howshe's transformed talk television,I like how she's brought reading back to America --but therewas something that happened the last two weeksthat was ... I call it the Soon-Yi moment:it is

the moment when I cannot continue supporting someone.And that was that she did twoentire showspromoting that movie "The Secret."Do you guys know about that movie "TheSecret"?It makes "What the Bleep Do We Know" seem like a doctoral dissertationfromHarvard on quantum mechanics -- that's how bad it is.It makes "The DaVinci Code" seem like"War and Peace."That movie is so horrible. It promotes such awful pseudoscience.And thebasic idea isthat there's this law of attraction, andyour thoughts have this vibratingenergythat goes out into the universeand then you attract good things to happen to you.Ona scientific basis, it's more than just "Power of Positive Thinking" --it has a horrible, horribledark side. Like if you get ill, it's because you've just been thinking negative thoughts.Yeah,stuff like that was in the movie and she's promoting it.And all I'm saying is that I really wishthat Murray Gell-Mannwould go on Oprahand just explain to her that the law of attraction is,in fact, not a law.So that's what I have to say.(Laughter)(Applause)

Sobule: I sing. Sweeney: I tell stories. Together: The Jill and Julia Show. Sobule: Sometimes it works. Sweeney: Sometimes it doesn't. Together: The Jill and Julia, the Jill and Julia, the Jill and Julia Show. (Applause)

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