Set myHeart On FireA Collection of Sufi Poems

by Shahbano Aliani

ALL FOR YOU, ALLAH

my silence and my speakingmy blinking and my breathingmy laughing and my weeping

are all for YouAllah

my madness and obsessionmy truth and my confession

my absolute submissionare all for You

Allah

my service and my caremy worship and my prayerevery moment, everywhere

are all for YouAllah

my blood, flesh and bonemy scent, song and moani have nothing of my own

it’s all for YouAllah

my heartbreak and tearsmy courage and my fearsfor One nearer than near

are all for YouAllah

my changing and learningmy loving and yearning

my leaving and returningare all for You

Allah

my singing and my sighingmy crawling and my flyingmy giving up and trying

are all for YouAllah

my living and my dyingmy living and my dyingmy living and my dying

are all for You, Allahall for You, Allah

allforYou

Allah

13th December 2012

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Acknowledgements

I am deeply grateful to……the Friends who have kept the path alive and lit up for other

seekers.

…Shaykh Ebrahim Etsko Schuitema of the Shahdili Darqawi Su! Order, for opening the door and listening unconditionally to what poured out; for his incredible generosity; and for guidance that always found resonance in the depths of my heart. He has brought a transformation in my life that still leaves me astounded and for which I do not quite have the words to express my immense gratitude.

…my parents, Changez Khan and Ishrat Aliani, for their love and for having done their best.

…my husband, Usman Hameed, for his patience, love and support - especially when I have needed them most.

…my daughter Oma Mika Hameed, for bursting into my heart in a way that only a child can and giving me the !rst painful and joyful lesson in unconditional love.

…my friend Shazreh Hussain for forcing me to go where I didn’t want to go, which turned out to be one of the biggest blessings in my life.

…my friends Ayesha Babar, Dhiviya David, Maheen Zia, Ri"at Aliani Lotia, Shabnam Abdullah and Syeda Shehrbano Kazim for their delightful companionship, generosity and warmth.

….Muhammad Nasir and Saleem McGroarty for their patience, generosity and meticulous help in the layout and printing of this book.

…and Shaykh Abu Faydan Faridi (Muhammad Harun Riedinger) of the Shahdili-Darqawi Su! Order, for his provision of regular spiritual nourishment to a hungry soul.

Any beauty, goodness or bene!t in this book is from my Rabb.

All #aws and shortcomings are my own.

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Foreword

I have personally tried and largely failed to give an authentic poetic rendering of Su!c thought. I have also seen a number of other attempts in English, to do the same. %ough some

endeavours are more successful than others, they all seem to be dogged by a slightly self-conscious piety that can leave a bit of a saccharine taste in the mouth. With Shahbano Aliani’s work the opposite is true. %e !rst element in her work which becomes apparent is the courage and honesty whereby she takes on her own darkness. %is commitment to honesty serves to produce a text which does not pretend to be an expression of piety, but is rather the journal of the epic battle of an aspirant to regain her own primal spiritual authenticity. %e e"ect of this is truly remarkable, because it makes this inner path accessible to English speakers in an incredibly subtle yet unpretentious, modern voice.

Shahbano’s text carries two voices. %ere is a lesser voice, which is struggling with its own pain. It is the voice of a lesser self, her biographic self, which su"ers a deep sense of longing and alienation. %e second voice is a more commanding voice. It is her greater voice. It seems to come from a place deeper than her conscious identity and uses her being and her pen as a medium to speak to her and to the world. %e two voices set up a dialogue between them, which adds a further level of meaning to the text. %is work therefore provides one with much to savour. It provides a light whereby one can start exploring one’s own heroic struggle, the struggle for one’s own authenticity.

Shaykh Ebrahim Etsko Schuitema

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Table of Contents

Chapter 1 Magic Fire

I Want To Say Your Name ..................................1Spring Breeze ......................................................3Call Out My Name .............................................4Monsoon Winds .................................................6The Storm That Never Came..............................7Nameless .............................................................9Absence ............................................................. 10Tiger ................................................................13No Cure But You .............................................. 14You Are The Music ........................................... 16Magic Fire ......................................................... 17My Heart Has Gone Everywhere ...................... 18Destination ....................................................... 19Nothing Else Matters ........................................20God Grew You From His Spirit ........................ 21Volcano .............................................................22Tourniquet ........................................................23Sing Fakeer .......................................................24Raindrops Speak ...............................................25Tide Of Pain .....................................................26The Promise Of Meeting You ...........................28Unconditional ...................................................29Sacred Idleness ..................................................30Morning ............................................................ 31Fasting ..............................................................32Unseen ..............................................................33Creatures In The Garden .................................. 35Orchestra Of Rain ............................................36Autumn Moon ..................................................37Winter Treads Gently .......................................38