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    Sister Margaret died and went to Hell. Knowing this was a mistake she calls St. Peter in Heaven. St. Peter tells heworry it was a transportation foul up and she will be out by breakfast. Well by 10 am Sister Margaret is still in Hevery worried so she calls St. Peter back. St. Peter tells her he is sorry but they are still having a transportation probshe will be out by lunch. Of course by 2 pm when she is still there she calls St. Peter again. Frantic she says, "St. still here and you just have to get me out. They are having a ORGY tonight!!." St. Peter says not to worry she wilheaven by dinner. The next day. at 10 am St. Peters gets a phone call."Pete this is Marge. FORGET IT!"

    My men are very brave

    author: unknown

    General McKenzie was in charge of the Navy, and he was visiting his colleague General Marshall, who was in chthe Army. McKenzie arrives at the military camp and is greeted by Marshall. They both walk around the place, anMcKensie asks: "So how are your men?"

    "Very well trained, Gral. McKenzie."

    "I hope so. You see, my men over at the Navy are so well trained, you could see they're the bravest men all over tcountry." "Well, my men are very brave, too."

    "I'd like to see that."

    So Marshall calls private Cooper and says: "Private Johnson! I want you to stop that tank coming here with your b

    "Are you crazy? It'd kill me, you idioy! I'm out of here!" As private Johnson ran away, Marshall turned to a bewilMcKenzie and said:

    "You see? You have to be pretty brave to talk like that to a general."

    Mother Teresa's Heavenly Experience

    author: unknown

    When Mother Teresa died and went to heaven, God greeted her at the Pearly Gates.

    "Be thou hungry, Mother Teresa?" asked God.

    "I could eat," Mother Teresa replied.

    So, God opened a can of tuna and reached for a chunk of rye bread and they began to share it. While eating this hmeal, Mother Teresa looked down into Hell and saw the inhabitants devouring huge steaks, lobsters, pheasants, an pastries. Curious, but deeply trusting, she remained quiet.

    The next day God again invited her to join him for a meal.

    Again, it was tuna and rye bread. Once again, Mother Teresa could see the denizens of Hell enjoying lamb, turkeyand delicious desserts. Still she said nothing.

    The following day, mealtime arrived and another can of tuna was opened. She couldn't contain herself any longer.

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    Meekly, she asked, "God, I am grateful to be in heaven with you as a reward for the pious, obedient life I led. Butheaven all I get to eat is tuna and a piece of rye bread and in the Other Place they eat like emperors and kings! I juunderstand it..."

    (scroll down)

    God sighed. "Let's be honest Terry," he said, "For just two people, it doesn't pay to cook

    Mental Problem

    author: unknown

    One day at the psychiatrists office, a short, fat man came in, stood in front of the desk and shouted at the psychiatBow to me, lowly Chinese! I am General Yamashita! Hahahahaha' and the psychiatrist said, 'What makes you thinyou are General Yamashita?' and the man said, 'Because God made me General Yamashita! Hahahahaha'

    Suddenly, his laughter was interrupted by a voice from the outside...'NO I DIDN'T!'

    After counseling the man and convincing him he was NOT General Yamashita, the short fat man left happy and pBefore letting the next patient come in, the psychiatrist picked up the phone and said, 'Sir Winston Churchill, this Seng. I have Yamashita's plans ...'

    MEN have created problems

    author: Su tm

    Just a coincidence? I don't THINK so.

    MENtal illness

    MENstrual cramps

    MENtal breakdown

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    MENopause

    Ever notice how most of women's problems start with men?