woven in my soul - 11

8/12/2019 woven in my soul - 11

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Posted originally on the Archive of Our Own at http://archiveofourown.org/works/1053206 .

Rating: Teen And Up AudiencesArchive Warning: Graphic Depictions Of ViolenceCategory: M/M

Fandom: Marvel Cinematic Universe , The Avengers (Marvel Movies)Relationship: Loki & Thor , Loki/Steve RogersCharacter: Steve Rogers , Loki (Marvel) , Thor (Marvel) , appearances by all other

Avengers , Sin , Hydra AgentsAdditional Tags: Rescue , Hurt/Comfort , Canon-Typical Violence , a lot of dead mooks ,

borrowing comics villains shamelessly , Protectiveness , BondingUnder Duress (Sort Of) , Thor and Loki talk for the first time in like75K , Implied/Referenced Torture , no sex alas , now you made Lokimad , Established Relationship , Loki takes care of his own , Steve

Rogers: Damsel In DistressSeries: Part 11 of Remember This ColdStats: Published: 2013-11-21 Words: 10812

woven in my soul

by Lise

Summary

Steve has been captured, Thor said, after a moments pause, and w ewe require your help.

Notes

Oh man, I am so , so happy to (a) final ly be able to post something, and (b) finally be ableto post this. I've been working on this for what feels like an ass-long time, and I'm just...very pleased to be able to put it up n ow , because I'm pretty pleased with it.

Also, I just gotta say: figures it would take putting Steve in bodily peril to get Loki andThor to actually talk again. Which, if you hadn't noticed, is kind of a seminal moment inthis verse, given that they've been living in the same space and have not spoken once. :D

Anyway, this series! Just keeps expanding! and now has a couple short bonus installmentson my tumblr that I'm not planning to crosspost here. And will have at least one more fulllength part that I have planned. (At least.)

I'm still so thrilled that people actually like this series, and this pairing and me.

With thanks, of course, to my glorious beta, zaataron pita , who keeps me squarely in line.
http://archiveofourown.org/tags/Bonding%20Under%20Duress%20(Sort%20Of)http://archiveofourown.org/tags/Teen%20And%20Up%20Audienceshttp://archiveofourown.org/http://archiveofourown.org/works/1053206http://zaataronpita.tumblr.com/http://localhost/var/www/apps/conversion/tmp/scratch_7/users/Lise/pseuds/Lisehttp://archiveofourown.org/series/28656http://archiveofourown.org/tags/Steve%20Rogers:%20Damsel%20In%20Distresshttp://archiveofourown.org/tags/Loki%20takes%20care%20of%20his%20ownhttp://archiveofourown.org/tags/Established%20Relationshiphttp://archiveofourown.org/tags/now%20you%20made%20Loki%20madhttp://archiveofourown.org/tags/no%20sex%20alashttp://archiveofourown.org/tags/Implied*s*Referenced%20Torturehttp://archiveofourown.org/tags/Thor%20and%20Loki%20talk%20for%20the%20first%20time%20in%20like%2075Khttp://archiveofourown.org/tags/Bonding%20Under%20Duress%20(Sort%20Of)http://archiveofourown.org/tags/Protectivenesshttp://archiveofourown.org/tags/borrowing%20comics%20villains%20shamelesslyhttp://archiveofourown.org/tags/a%20lot%20of%20dead%20mookshttp://archiveofourown.org/tags/Canon-Typical%20Violencehttp://archiveofourown.org/tags/Hurt*s*Comforthttp://archiveofourown.org/tags/Rescuehttp://archiveofourown.org/tags/Hydra%20Agentshttp://archiveofourown.org/tags/Sinhttp://archiveofourown.org/tags/appearances%20by%20all%20other%20Avengershttp://archiveofourown.org/tags/Thor%20(Marvel)http://archiveofourown.org/tags/Loki%20(Marvel)http://archiveofourown.org/tags/Steve%20Rogershttp://archiveofourown.org/tags/Loki*s*Steve%20Rogershttp://archiveofourown.org/tags/Loki%20*a*%20Thorhttp://archiveofourown.org/tags/The%20Avengers%20(Marvel%20Movies)http://archiveofourown.org/tags/Marvel%20Cinematic%20Universehttp://archiveofourown.org/tags/M*s*Mhttp://archiveofourown.org/tags/Graphic%20Depictions%20Of%20Violencehttp://archiveofourown.org/tags/Teen%20And%20Up%20Audienceshttp://archiveofourown.org/works/1053206http://archiveofourown.org/


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Sort of.

(I promise I'm working on my other projects; thank you for your patience with me!)

He was engrossed in the third part of a Midgardian saga though it was not, curiously enough, set onMidgard or any recognizable realm when there was a knock on the door. Expecting Steve, Lokiwalked over without truly removing his attention from Samwise Gamgees exploits, and opened thedoor before he looked up from the page.

It wasnt Steve standing on the threshold. It was Thor.

Thor, who besides a few tentative overtures in the very early days that Loki had studiously ignored,had left him alone. Who had, for once, taken Lokis lack of interest in communication and respected it,rather than ignoring it. And now he was here. Lokis first reaction was to bare his teeth and slam thedoor, but the look on Thors face brought him up short. He looked tense. Worried.

He knew before he asked, but he asked anyway, because he wanted to be wrong. What is it, hesnapped.

Steve has been captured, Thor said, after a moments pause, and wewe require your help.

Loki felt his heart stutter to a halt. He froze, for a moment, feeling himself unable to move. He could bedead already, a voice whispered across the back of his thoughts. His body lying cooling, bent and broken somewhere while you did nothing. He forced the well of metallic tasting panic down andfocused on the cold, sharp, clear feeling of anger instead.

He is mine. The thought was possessive and sharp and not altogether accurate, but he wrapped himself in it because it was better than fear. I will rip the hearts out of every one of them who thought theycould touch him.

He summoned his leathers in one smooth gesture, casual garb melting away, and stepped forward.Well then, he said, keeping his tone short and clipped. He would not let Thor see in this anyacceptance of him. I will require that you tell me everything.

Thors shoulders slumped in obvious relief. He held the door open. Of course, he said, his expressionnakedly grateful. Had he expected him to refuse? I only knowSHIELD has told us little, and wemy friendssuspect they have more information than they have given.

Thats a surprise, Loki drawled. What do you know, then? His skin was prickling with urgency hewas struggling not to show. Every bone in his body yearned to simply go his own way, but he didntknow enough, and even if it took time precious time information could only help.

He would do this right.

It is some old enemy of his. Thor kept sneaking sideways glances at Loki. Perhaps he thought hewas being subtle. They call themselves HYDRA. Loki felt his mouth twist, and Thor straightened.You know the name?

Iborrowedfrom their ranks during my attack. He felt, for a moment, inexplicably angry withhimself for doing so, as though he might have known. Or as though he would have cared. It mattersnot. Go on.


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SHIELD does not wish us to strike. Thor hesitated, and then added, with a touch of anger, theyhave suggested that if we do not obey that action will be taken against us. Of course, I doubt that theycould harm me much, but the others

Lokis stomach churned and he just managed not to snarl. His magic welled up, seething just under hisskin in response to his emotion, and Loki didnt bother to try to calm himself, this time. Why wouldthey hold you back?

The lady Romanoff- the Black Widow, Thor corrected himself, and Loki wondered absently howmany times the spider had had to correct him. She found that there isan object. A weapon, thatSHIELD desires.

Loki nodded, shortly. So they are playing for time while they try to puzzle out a way to get both. Isee. And playing with Steves well-being, and potentially his life. Lokis hands curled into fists. Imcertain I could persuade them to see reason. He heard his voice vibrate, just slightly, and Thors handwas suddenly heavy on his shoulder.

No, he said, at once, voice harsh. Loki, that is not-

Get your hand off me. Thor jerked his hand away, and Loki didnt so much as glance at him. Letme make this perfectly clear. Nothing has changed between us. I am not here for you.

He caught a spasm of Thors face out of the corner of his eye. I know that.

Then pray remember it. Loki half turned, eyebrows raised. Are you leading me someplace inparticular to discuss what it is you do intend, or?

This way, Thor said, after a moment. His voice was heavy and unhappy, but Loki kept hisexpression neutral. Anger seethed under his skin, and Loki let it. One way or another, it would find a

target.They turned down another hallway and toward a closed door through which Loki could hear raisedvoices. Familiar enough, though the contact hed had with the lot of them had beenminimal. To hisrelief. Thor opened the door without pause, though, clearing his throat, and past his bulky frame Lokicould just see the rest of them clumped around a table.

Thor! Good, was wondering where you went. We need to talk strategy, because no way are westaying here while HYDRA does something undoubtedly awful to- oh. Oh no. You cant be serious.

Ah, Loki thought, as Stark turned midway through the sentence. Starks eyes fixed on him and his

expression flashed from tense worry to incredulity to anger. So Thor hadnt mentioned his intentions.Wonderful.

He has every right, Thor said, stepping into the room. Loki leaned against the doorway, keeping hisexpression neutral.

Who has every right, his hawkling began, turning around, and immediately stiffened, hand going fora knife. What the you let him out? Loki gave him a patronizing smile that didnt reach his eyes, andBartons lips peeled back from his teeth. Get the fuck out of here right now or theres going to be aknife in your little brothers throat-

Loki can help us! Thor said, loudly, and Loki didnt miss that the defensive step he took bothblocked Bartons aim and also their eye contact. He has skills none of us have, much practice gettinginto places unseen- The man who contained the green monster seemed to be breathing deeply andcarefully at the other end of the room, his eyes fixed on Loki. He resisted the likely suicidal urge tosmile at him, too.


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And is a psychotic, potentially- ex but who knows supervillain, Stark said loudly. Or are youforgetting that part?

Get him out of here or I swear to god Im going to put a knife through his throat, Barton said,savagely, and Loki could almost see the dark cloud gathering over his head.

I understand your grievance, Clint Barton, but I will not accept threats made against my brother, he

said, lowly, and the man-monster Banner, Loki remembered said something like, guys, maybe weshould all sit down and take a moment to think-

You may either, Loki said, keeping his voice level and not raising it so much as a notch. As hedhoped, the surprise silenced Thors merry band. Accept my help and be kept abreast of my intentions,or not. Regardless, I do not intend to stand here wringing my hands while I wait for someone to make amove. Your choice. In truth, I care little.

He ignored the look Thor was giving him, keeping his eyes on Banner instead. The silence wasprofound, but only momentary.

Were supposed to trust you, Stark said. Of course it was Stark to speak first. The man didnt knowwhen to be silent. Loki didnt so much as glance in his direction.

In this? Yes. Loki kept his voice flat, expressionless. The Captain is my lover. I do not take triflingwith what is mine kindly. If nothing else, you may rely absolutely on my intention to rip the heart out of every living thing that stands in my way.

Brother, Thor said, quietly, and Loki glanced round before he could remember not to, and only thenrealized that he was shaking, minutely, green threads of magic spooling around his clenched fists andwinding up his arms. He felt as though he could crack the world with his bare hands. Part of him

thought he wanted to.The so-called Avengers were staring at him. Barton held a knife in hand, though he seemed otherwisefrozen. The Widows stance was braced, and Starks thumb hovered over a button that would likelysummon the suit. He could see a hint of green in Banners skin. Just destroy them, the rage in Lokisblood whispered, soft and sweet and seductive. Theyre in your way. You need to go. You should begone, every minute is another minute in which they might have killed him.

Brother, Thor said again, his voice quiet and steady. You need to stay calm. You cannotyoucannot help Steve if you are blinded by rage. We willwe will strike back. But just as you always toldme, first we need a plan.

Loki forced the storm down, controlled it. Slowly, carefully. Drew the magic back under his skin.Recklessness could get Steve killed as easily as dawdling might. He needed to think calmly, rationally,and carefully. It wasnt Steves friends he wanted to be fighting.

I am calm, he said, when he was certain he could keep his voice steady. Stark made a noise that wasprobably supposed to be a laugh.

Really?

Stark. That was Romanova, surprisingly enough. Her eyes on Loki were clear, unmoving, and full of dislike if not outright hatred, but her tone was one of warning. Dont push it. Hes offering to help. Isay we take it.

Tasha, Barton said quietly, though his face was stony. Loki felt a faint twinge of surprise. Romanovashook her head.


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I know, she said, her voice nearly expressionless. But Captain Rogers is missing and undoubtedly indanger. We dont know how much time we have, or what HYDRAs plans are, and SHIELDs tryingto play both sides of the field. I know an asset when I see one. I dont trust him. Steve does. Maybethats enough. And if hes telling the truthId rather know where he is than not. Her eyes bored intoLokis. Not to mention that if he fucks us over, Ive got some very creative ideas of what to do withhim.

Loki barely felt the finger of cold crawl down his spine. She would. It wasnt nearly enough to makehim waver in his focus, though, and he simply bared his teeth at her in a smile. Its a relief one of youhas some sense. Are the rest of you going to bicker further, or can we move forward?

Thors hand landed heavily on his shoulder, and Loki moved to twitch it off. There is no need to berude, he chided, and Loki let his lip curl. At the other end of the table, Banner shifted.

Rude or not, hes got a point, the man said, green tint faded from his skin. Were wasting time.Loki could feel his blood humming, strung tight. They could be killing Steve now. Or worse. Lokismind supplied painfully vivid possibilities and he fought to shove them away, breathing quickening.

All right, Stark said, after a moment, sounding harried and unhappy. All right, fine, Id just like toput out there that Im not Clint, are you okay with

Okay with this? No, Barton snapped. Loki deliberately didnt glance in his direction. But but Illput up with it. For Steve.

How gracious, Loki murmured, and both the spider and his hawkling gave him a look that promiseddeath. Loki ignored it. If you are all finished dithering, then?

Dont push it, Stark said, a little tightly. What did Thor-

Very little. Loki stepped up to the table, ignoring the slight shifts of the others around it. The warystares made him itch, slightly, but it mattered little next to the mingled worry and anger humming barelycontrolled under his skin. There was a map of Midgard on the table, several sites circled. I take it youare stuck here. How effectively?

Fairly effectively, the Widow said. The slight hint of sourness in her voice was ironed out quickly,replaced with a cool professionalism. Systems are still all up and running, but the minute we make amove for the doorstheres teams with gas canisters that can take out everyone but Thor and the Hulk,and Fury dropped a couple hints that there was something nasty he was keeping in reserve.

Loki felt the corner of his mouth twitch up. One-eyed tyrants. The same in every realm, perhaps. Thesmile, if it was that, faded quickly. The Captain. Do you know where hes being kept? Silence, andLoki felt his expression tighten, though he hoped it didnt show. That would be a no, then. Well. Its agood thing you did call me. Half-closing his eyes, it was only a moments work to reach for his magicand trigger the locator spell hed linked to Steves flesh early on, so that he would be able to find him atwill. He took a moment to orient himself, process the information he was being given, and opened hiseyes again. Here, he said, indicating one of the circles in the Alps. I take it there is some sort of base in this area?

Stark was giving him a narrow-eyed look. Bartons shoulders hunched. Yes, Banner said, after amoment. Loki did his best to ignore Thor peering over his shoulder. Wait, did you just- he stopped,and shook his head. Youre saying Steve is there. For sure.

So I am. Lokis mind was already racing ahead, what hed need to know, what kind of preparationshe would need to make. It would likely be easy to simply cut the lot of them to shreds, but there wasthe risk that if he did that they might have time to kill the Captain (Steve, his mind tried to correct, but


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he pushed that away) rather than allow his rescue.

He could not would not tolerate that outcome.

How do you know? Romanova asked, sharply. Are you sure?

Yes, I am sure, Loki said, his tone vibrating on the edge of a snap.

A locator spell, Thor said, eagerly, sounding immeasurably pleased with himself. Is that what it is?Yes, Loki said. Bartons eyes narrowed.

Youve got Steve tagged with some kind of magic tracking device? He didnt sound terribly pleased.Loki turned his head just enough to bare his teeth in a smile in his direction.

Doesnt your SHIELD have you tagged with one as well? He turned back to the map, however,resolutely. Do you know anything about this location?

Just that its been tagged as a likely site for HYDRA activity before, Romanova said, leaning

forward over the table. Recon hasnt found anything on flyovers, so probably underground thisspell of yours, does it tell you anything about what kind of condition Steves in?

No, Loki said, not quite curtly. The working would function just as well in dead flesh as in living.Anything short of total dismemberment would-

Loki took a slow breath in through his nose. They wouldnt have killed him already. Too valuable.Probably. (If he dies- Loki severed that thought at the root.) No, he repeated, not necessarily.Thors hand had made it back to his shoulder, heavy and pressing down as though he might fly away.Loki forced himself to focus. Are they likely to have anything capable of detecting magic?

No. I dont know. Maybe? Stark shook his head. Clint?

I dont know. Its never been an issue for me. But even before that problem, Barton said. His eyesfixed on Loki were still full of hate, but at least he seemed willing to let it slide for the moment.SHIELD has all kinds of sensors, cameras, what have you, fixed on this building at all times in caseyou get out. Stuff tuned to your electromagnetic whatever-the-fuck, too, so including teleporting. Andif theyre monitoring us to make sure we stay put now, too, which they are, that goes double.

Loki made a dismissive sort of pfft noise, eyes fixed on that little circle, running through ideas andeventualities and potential plans one after the other. Childs play, he said, without glancing up. I

figured out how to circumvent every one of your pitiful security measures within the first four days of mystay. Silence, and Loki glanced up. Stark looked severely displeased.

SHIELDs best and brightest spent four months developing that equipment, Romanova said, mildly.Loki shrugged.

I was bored, he said, simply, and returned to study. I hope none of you were under the impressionthat I would be here if I didnt wish to be.

Not anymore, said Banner, after a moment. He sounded a little like he wanted to smile, but thatcouldnt be right. Loki caught just a glimpse of Thor out of the corner of his eye, and found him

radiating pride that it took Loki a moment to puzzle out.

When he realized that it might be for him, it was like a hand in his chest squeezing his heart, hard.

He stepped back from the table in a swift, sharp movement. That all seems clear enough. If you have


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no further information, I believe I can manage the rest-

Wait, wait, wait, Stark said, holding up both hands. Im hoping that sentence wont end with onyour own because, um, no.

Loki gave him a flat stare. Im not going to argue with you and this isnt a negotiation. You wouldonly get in my way.

My friends, Thor broke in, but Barton cut him off, mouth twisting in a sneer.

Youre delusional if you think were going to let you go running off on a solo rescue mission forCaptain fucking America, even if youre banging him. Get us out of here with your magic whateverand well take care of the rest.

Loki felt himself tense. And how do you intend to do that without getting the Captain killed with yourreckless heroics? I dont think so.

Were not complete rookies, you know, Stark said, sounding peevish. Its not like we dont knowwhat were doing.

From where Im standing that is exactly what it looks like, Loki said tightly. Thor shifted.

Perhaps we should listen to-

And if we make the call that grounded supervillains stay grounded?

Loki felt his lips peel back from his teeth. They were wasting time but he would not back down andallow- I can think of several ways to solve that problem, he said, not bothering to mask the threat inhis voice. He could feel his magic sparking around his fingers, ready to start a fire. Or an explosion.

Both of you, Romanova said. Cut it out and focus. Stark hes got a point.

Lokis head snapped around and he stared at her, utterly taken aback. By the spluttering noises fromStark, he was as well. Romanova held up a hand and ticked off her points. First we know hes got away to stay under the radar that none of us have. The minute were visible, weve got both HYDRAand SHIELD on our backs. Second, for an extraction like this, smaller party is better, or odds are thatHYDRA will just kill Steve. Third- Romanova gave him an appraising look, and Loki suspected thatshe amended what she had been going to say. Third once he gets to Steve, its easier for him to getback here than it would be for any of us. That clear enough?

Banner cleared his throat, in the sudden silence that followed. Yeah, he said. Id say its fairly clear.And Im convinced. This isnt my skill set. And honestly in terms of lifespan alone, who do you think has the most experience getting in where theyre not supposed to be?

Loki had expected that even less than hed expected Romanovas support. He couldnt keep himself from staring, though he glanced aside quickly when Banner looked toward him. Romanova, Banner,Thor, if the other two would just

Fine, Stark said. He didnt sound happy about it, and Bartons expression was mutinous, but henodded jerkily. Fine, just fuck. I cant believe Im agreeing to this. We send Undesireable NumberOne to get Captain America, and if you fuck this up -

I will not, Loki said coldly, Fuck this up. He pushed away the flicker of you failed everythingelse that mattered to you. Why not this? He couldnt afford doubts right now. Thors presence at hisback, hatefully, felt reassuring. I dont believe Ill be long.


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Wait, Thor said, suddenly. Loki fought the urge to wince. Beforemay I speak with you, amoment?

Lokis first instinct was to snap no, as was his second, but the third was hesitation. After a momentspause, he allowed a begrudging, I suppose. Briefly. He glanced around the room, particularly atStarks deliberately disinterested expression, and added, not here.

Thors expression of relief was so nakedly obvious that it was embarrassing to look at, and Loki simply

turned and walked out of the room, trusting that Thor would follow. Indeed, it was only a couplestrides before Thor fell into step with him. Their strides still matched easily, without Lokis thought,and that only irritated him more as he tried to think through anything he might need.

Loki, Thor said, and then stopped. Loki was inclined to think he revised what he was going to say,changing it to a, you will be careful?

When am I not, Loki said crisply. He could almost hear Thor frown, wanting to object.

I know that you areconcerned, he said, instead of arguing. And I wished to say that I amconfident that you will succeed.

If I needed your confidence, that would be a relief.

Loki was somewhat gratified by the wince he caught out of the corner of his eye, but it was lesssatisfying than he expected it to be. Thor was silent for a moment, probably trying to think of a newtactic.

Do you have one of the cell phones, the communication devices Midgardians use? Thor asked,abruptly. Loki gave him a sidelong look.

Yes, he said, after a moment, cautiously. Thor nodded, his expression one of focused determination.

I believe that you do not need help, Thor said, and then rushed on before Loki could thank him forthat with abundant sarcasm. Butif you shouldI would like to give you the number for the device Iwas given. So you can summon me if need be.

Loki gave him a hard look. Several answers occurred to him in varying degrees of hurtful, butultimately he brushed most of them aside. If I had the time to call you, he said, then I would likelyhave the time to solve the situation myself.

Thor did not seem terribly stung. Just in case, he said, insistently.

It would be easy to turn him down and just go. Very, very easy.

Loki wasnt entirely certain why he didnt. He sighed, summoned his mobile, and turned it on with aflick of his fingers. Very well, he said, making his voice suitably annoyed, at the very least. ForSteves benefit.

He tapped the number into his phone, saved it under the contact name of Oaf, and firmly ignored theway Thor watched him, refusing to quantify the expression in those painfully blue eyes.

Loki had never been very fond of or impressed by the various organs of supervillainy on Midgard. It allseemed like a miserably contrived mess with no real imagination.

The use of an underground lair was not really convincing him otherwise.


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It had taken a bit of careful looking to puzzle out where in the general area HYDRA was lurking, evenwith the benefit of the humming beacon at the back of his mind signaling Steves whereabouts. He took the slow way in, shielded from sight, after some consideration, unwilling to take the risk of teleportingdirectly to his location without more knowledge of where he was being kept, and under whatconditions.

Loki kept his thoughts carefully level, emotionless, ignoring the churning in his stomach.

The corridors of the facility were a veritable maze, Loki rapidly discovered. He needed to findsomewhere central. Somewhere this size must have some kind of monitoring system, a means of keeping track of its inhabitants

busy with Captain America, he heard, around a corner, and Lokis head snapped around. Hewheeled, hastening back the way hed come and down a different corridor, where two men inHYDRA uniform were walking side by side. Loki quickened his pace to follow them.

Obsessed, the other one was saying, and Loki suspected hed missed part of the conversation. Whatdoes she think is going to happen? Do you think she actually believes

Are you saying you dont? said the other. Loki evened his speed a few paces behind them, closeenough to hear. She seems pretty sure. I dont want to be the one to doubt her.

As far as Im concerned we should just kill him already, the second man grumbled, and Loki closedhis eyes for just a moment, the relief washing through him almost strong enough to make him feeldizzy. Not dead, then. He wasnt going to be too late. At least not yet.

The first one laughed, harshly. You want to tell her that, when shes having so much fun? He said,and between one breath and the next, anger replaced relief. Whatever shes doing to make Captainfucking America scream, I-

His temper, simmering just under his skin, burst into flames. The hallway was empty. Loki wasnt surehe would have been able to stop himself if it hadnt been.

His hand coated in magic punched through the mans body with a viscerally satisfying crunch. Lokiwrapped his fingers around the heart and pulled it out through the gaping hole in his back. He didnt letthe shield keeping him invisible drop, simply reached out as the dead mans companion took a breath,mouth gaping, and slammed magic into him like a hammer, commanding obey . Tell me, he said,quiet enough that only one pair of ears could catch his voice. Where can I find your prisoner?

He would not say Steve. Would not picture Steve, suffering, screaming-

The agent gaped at empty air. Second basement, he said, sounding dazed. Thirdthird room on theright.

My thanks, Loki murmured, and slashed one of his knives across his throat.

His blood was pounding in his temples as he let the body fall, turning around. You cut the amount of time you had in half, if not more, a quiet, rational voice murmured, even as he cast a swift glamour overthe corpses. Fool-

Then he would just have to move quickly, Loki thought grimly, and reached out, plucking the threadsto take himself a level lower in the structure.

He was standing in a large, open space humming with activity, and Loki paused. There were fourhallways, one from each side. The space was full of people. He needed to be smart about this. Bruteforce, as hed told the Avengers, wasnt going to be good enough, and was more likely to get Steve


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killed.

Loki drew himself up, pushed back his shoulders, lifted his chin. He summoned arrogant surety like acape and let it settle around his shoulders, layered with disdain. Last, he called in his helmet and cape,and dropped the illusion.

In two seconds he had three guns trained on him.

Oh, spare me, Loki said, letting his lips twitch ever so minutely. Dont tell me you dont know whoI am. I would like to speak with whoever is in charge. It was perfect showmanship. Ideal, really. Itwas a risk Doom might have mentioned his betrayal, perhaps but Loki doubted it. Not to these.Doom tended to move inslightly more elevated circles.

How do we know that you are who you say you are, a slightly bolder gunman said, after a momentof silence. Loki scoffed.

Consider how I appeared in your supposedly secret lair without being detected by machine or man.Consider also who would be mad enough to claim to be me who is not. He smiled, thinly. Yourleader. One or two of them shifted uneasily. Loki could almost feel his time slipping away, everymomenthe let his expression slip a little toward disdainful irritation. I am waiting.

What do you want? asked a harsh voice behind him, and Loki turned in a smooth movement to find acompact, muscular man, face covered by a hood painted with a skull and a pair of long bones splashedacross his chest. Loki didnt recognize him, but that was hardly surprising. Hed spent as little time aspossible dithering with this sort. Loki smiled in a way that he knew would be recognized as more of abaring of teeth.

Ive heard that you haveacquireda certain figure upon whom I believed I had placed a priorclaim. Loki shrugged one shoulder. I am willing to waive said claim, but I should like to speak with

whoever I am ceding it to.

Uh huh. The man sounded dubious. And if our leader doesnt feel like having a chat?

Loki let his smile stretch, muscles tensing, though he hoped the motion didnt show. I would beterribly displeased.

The man scrutinized him for a while, then made a curt gesture. This way, he said. Ill ask if sheswilling to spare a few minutes. He didnt seem terribly impressed, and that rankled. Loki suppressedthat reaction, and rather than following as he moved down one of the hallways, fell into step with him.He ignored the small entourage that followed, intended no doubt as protection. Small enough that hedid not foresee difficulties, however.

As long as he could get close enough to Steve to teleport them both free, it wouldnt matter.

The man with the skull grunted, after a few paces. Havent heard much about you in a while.

Then I am doing my job well, Loki said, evenly. Let him make of that what he would. He kept half an eye on the wall, counting one door, a second several paces later.

Wait here, the man said tersely, and Loki checked his stride, eyes on the third door. If shes notinterested, though As if you could make me leave, Loki thought sourly. As though you could be athreat to me. The man walked swiftly to the door. Loki braced himself as he opened it, schooled hisface to perfect neutrality.

He still was not ready for the sound of screaming that came through the open doorway. Was so farfrom prepared for what that noise, and the recognition of Steves voice in it, did to him. Like a dagger


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of ice thrust into his entrails and twisted, every nerve on fire, and then the door closed and cut off sound. Every fiber of his being vibrated with the desire to break the door, tear it down, tear this wholeplace down-

He held still, breathing shallowly.

The man with the skull emerged a moment later, and jerked his head. The screaming had stopped, andLokis stomach knotted painfully. All right, he said. Come on.

Loki kept his stride even with a deliberate effort, giving the man a thin smile as he stepped through thedoor, entourage still trailing at his heels. He made his eyes trail over the rest of the room, assortedmachines whose purpose he couldnt divine, before letting them move to the center, the metal table andthe man bound to it.

Steve had been stripped naked. His chest was rising and falling rapidly, wires trailing from his arms andtorso and head, feeding back into the machines. His skin looked slightly grey-pale, marred with bruisesand what looked like burns. There was blood running from his nose, his eyes closed. Still breathing,Loki reminded himself. Stay calm.

The woman standing behind him was smaller than hed expected. Red-haired, freckled, she lookedstartlingly young. Her eyes were on Steve, examining him with a kind of mad hunger that made Lokisskin crawl and also made him want to rip out her throat.

He cleared his throat, taking a step forward, and she held up a hand. The guns at his back came up.Loki stopped.

Sorry, she said, almost sounding apologetic. Im trying to do something fairly delicate here. If youdont mind staying there. Loki of Asgard, is it?

Loki will do, he said. And you areSin, she said. Loki swallowed the urge to scoff. Midgardians and their names. She looked up fromSteve, though, and if her eyes still had that strange glint in them they were also sharp, intelligent.Crossbones tells me that you have aninterest in my good friend Captain America.

Crossbones? The man with the skull, he supposed. Somewhat, he said, and shrugged one shoulder.In a loose sense. I have found him exasperating in the past.

Youre not the only one. She brushed red hair out of her face, and Loki noticed that her hands werestained with what looked like blood. He looked sharply back to Steve, but couldnt see any open

wounds. He killed my father, you know.

Loki raised his eyebrows, trying to calculate. He could close the distance quickly, but the guns werestill armed, and if they fired and missed himand the girl, Sin, was too close. He needed to get heraway from Steve. I had no idea, he drawled. Whose daughter? he wondered vaguely. She might beanyones.

Sins eyes flicked back to Steve. Were you just going to kill him?

Loki made himself smile. Use your imagination, he said, silkily. I have a great deal more optionsthan something sobanal. Perhaps he could convince her that he would take better vengeance thanshe ever could. Perhapseven if he only seduced her that way enough to draw her away

Are you asking for a trade? Sin asked, sounding interested. Loki settled back on his heels, adoptingcasual posture.


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Merely expressinginterest. I would be happy to leave him in your capable hands, so long as I amcertain he wont be troubling me again. He hoped, desperately, that Steve wasnt listening. Or that heknew what game Loki was playing. Even if he didnt, though he couldnt let that matter. Not now.What exactly were your intentions?

Sin glanced at Steve again, and then walked around the table and leaned against it, her fingers brushingup and down Steves limp arm. (He would tear those fingers off first.) I had a few ideas. But I dontknowIm intrigued. Might be useful to have a favor from you.

Loki held in a sigh of relief. Yes. He had this, now. It was just a matter of bargaining, and that, he knewhow to do. Did I offer a favor?

Sins smile was full of teeth. Loki would have been impressed, maybe, in other circumstances.Nothing ventured, nothing gained.

Loki made a casual gesture. Oh, very well. Say I were motivated to make you an offer. What wouldbe acceptable to you?

What would you be willing to offer? she asked, taking a step forward. Her eyes gleamed, that hungerback again. What kind of power do you have?

I daresay more than you can conceptualize. Loki gave her a bored look. You havent interested meyet.

Sin cocked her head to the side. HonestlyI might let you have him, as long as I get to watch. Hergaze was almost coy. I could probably learn something. She pulled a gun out of the holster at herthigh, and began tossing it back and forth.

Loki made himself half-smile, though his eyes flicked to Steve. He seemed paler. As though he were

deteriorating, perhaps. It matters little to me.You know, Sin said, flipping the gun into her right hand and pointing it at him, You are a prettygood liar. If I didnt know otherwise, I might even fall for it.

Lokis heart stuttered in his chest. Beg pardon? he said, measured surprise and slight indignation. Shelowered the gun and put it to Steves head, and smiled.

Give me a little more credit than that, she said. Words out. Everyone knows who you belong tonow. He stiffened, almost against his own will. She knows, he thought, edged with panic. Loki kepthis voice perfectly cool.

I wasnt aware I belonged to anyone, he said, deliberately edged, a warning. Sins smile widened.

So youre not the Avengers lapdog? Lokis body went rigid, and his lips peeled back from his teeth.So you wont mind if I just he saw her finger flex on the trigger, just slightly, and his breathsnagged before he could stop it, heart jumping against his rib cage, body jerking forward before hecould stop it. Sin snickered. Well, she said, will you look at that.

Lokis jaw flexed. I intended to keep things agreeable, he said, after a moment. If youd rather

Pff, Sin said. Nice try, but you just showed youre not willing to let me kill Captain Star-Spangled,and the minute you make a move I dont like- Bang, she mouthed. Loki thought his heart was going topound out of his chest. If he could be certain, if he could just be certain that he could move before shecould strike

He made his body relax. Forced himself to stand down and spread his hands as though beaten. If you


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knew, he said, finally, why play along?

Sin shrugged. I was curious. Id heard about you, after the New York thing, and before that Shelooked almost thoughtful. My father used to talk about the old myths.

Your father should have warned you not to meddle with me. Loki kept his face flat, as though he wereindeed, beaten. If he could just get her to move, or lower the gun, somethingevery nerve in his bodywas humming to move, to do something. Steve was so quiet, so still, and he was afraid. Did he,

now.

Im disappointed, really, she said, the muzzle of the gun pressing into Steves hair, a shade darkenedwith sweat. After all the time he spent looking for the ancient gods, hoping to harness their powerits pretty pathetic. I expected better.

Anger was hot in his chest, but he kept it there even as it seared his lungs and heart. It would be nomore than a thought to kill her. Reflex might squeeze her finger, though, and he couldnt bring Steveback if he died. A shot to the head, that closehe suspected even Captain America wouldnt survive.He sketched a mocking bow and smiled, though it felt unnatural. I am so dreadfully sorry.

I guess nothing ever lives up to the legends, though, she said, with a sigh. I mean, the famousCaptain America, who defeated my father, and Im really justnot impressed. She turned, proddinghis head with the gun, and glanced over her shoulder. Loki could feel his jaw twitching, rage seething

just under his skin, but he couldnt risk it, couldnt risk it.

If youre so unimpressed, Loki said, without inflection, I would be delighted to remove him fromyour care.

Oh, I dont think so, Sin said. Im not done yet. Im just saying she turned around, hand notwavering in the least. With all the stories, I expected it to be a little harder to get him to beg. But it

hardly took anything at all, really Sin glanced over her shoulder. She was smirking.

His vision went red. His thoughts went red. Everything slowed to perfect, bleeding-edged clarity, andhe couldnt hold back. Loki could see her hand shift just slightly as she turned, and in that sliver of amoment he severed her arm at the elbow with a knife forged solely of magic. The arm, and the handwith the gun in it, dropped to the floor before the reflex completed, bullet discharging, but not at Steve.

By the time Sin started to scream, he was already in motion.

The men nearest him died beautifully as he spun, knives sliding through their throats as through air.They shot at him but he hardly felt the sting, reaching out with magic and casting almost withoutthought, setting blood to boil, bodies to burst, everything he could think of. He was in a haze of bloodand death and rage, body singing to unleash the fury, but his eyes fixed on Sin, scrabbling for aweapon with her remaining hand.

She saw him and jerked toward Steve as though she could still use him as a shield (perhaps, if he wereawake, perhaps, if she hadnt hurt him into unconsciousness, she might have relied on the Captainsmercy to save her), but Loki was faster.

I would give you a slow death, he said, his own voice strange in his ears, vibrating in a way hecouldnt remember hearing before. But youve already delayed me long enough.

He wrapped his fingers around her throat and crushed it, heedless of the knife she stuck in his side.

Silence. Loki stood in the midst of the field of slaughter and struggled to breathe.

He could hear cries of alarm down the hallway, and glanced toward the door, still open. It slammed


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closed, and then he caught another sound. A quiet moan, as someone stirring slowly fromunconsciousness.

He turned, everything still feeling slow and out of focus, like he was moving through thick fog thatgrasped at his limbs.

Steve stirred, head turning limply from side to side, his skin still a ghastly color as Loki drew near tohim. He snapped the bindings with a thought anger spiking again at the red marks where they had

chafed and laid a hand on Steves chest. His heartbeat felt slow and not quite right, the echoes of left-over pain flashing through the connection his magic formed. One working to numb the pain andanother to lend Steve strength, urge his body toward healing. He wished, again, that he had learnedmore of that art. For the momenthe set to pulling the various wires away, drawing needles carefullyfrom flesh.

Steves eyes blinked slowly open, though they looked out of focus, and his motions were weak andstrained. Lokis stomach knotted, and his vision blurred for a moment. Steve, he said, his voicesounding rough and grating to his own ears. Look at me.

Bucky? Steve slurred, his head lolling limply. Something twanged in Lokis chest like an out of tuneharp, and he pushed it down. Sthat you?

Not exactly, Loki said. He could hear the slightly clipped note in his own voice. Terribly sorry todisappoint. He eyed the Captain for a moment, determined that his standing even with help wasunlikely, and gathered Steves body into his arms. He moved away from the table, boots plish ingslightly in the puddles of blood.

Steves fingers tangled in one of the straps of his armor, the motion uncoordinated in a way that madehim ache. Loki pushed that down as well.

He wanted to grind this entire miserable building into dust, wanted to tear every one of them toquivering shreds of meat. His vision fogged over with red again and he could almost feel the fine sprayof their blood, hear their screams, and no one would ever would ever-

Loki? Steve said, voice blurry. Lokis eyes snapped to him at once, and found his eyebrows knittedtogether worriedly. Severything

So you recognize me now, Loki thought, but recognized the petty bitterness in it, and in the nextmoment he was suddenly aware of how he must look. Was suddenly aware of all the blood: on him, onhis hands, on Steve. He summoned a smile. It is fine. I am unharmed.

Good, Steve said, firmly, and his eyes slid shut again. Trusting Lokis word. Lokis heart twisted andhe reached for his magic, stepped through space to the Tower. He strode across the floor and depositedSteve carefully on the couch, ignoring the exclamations at his back.

Is he, Stark asked, sounding nervous.

Fine, Loki said shortly. I turn him over to your capable care. He could see Thor moving, doubtlessto accost him with an embrace or some such, and Banners mouth was opening to speak, but heremoved himself to his rooms before either of them could do anything. He stood there, immobile, for along moment. His vision was still tinged with crimson, his heart still pounding a little too hard.

Finally he wheeled with a snarl. He tore his clothing off piece by piece, leaving a trail of it as he stalkedto the bathroom and flung himself into the shower, leaving the spray cold. He breathed hard as it beatagainst his hunched shoulders, watching pink water swirl down the drain and emptying his mind.

Pathetic, floated across his thoughts, as the background noise drained away. Worthless.


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He pounded his fist against the wall. The shock ran up his arm and it felt good, to unleash a little of thestorm boiling inside him. He did it again, and again, a scream building behind his teeth.

He only noticed when the water turned off and he jerked. Sir, the automated voice said, disinterestedas ever, do I need to call someone? Perhaps Dr. Banner?

Loki looked down and blinked to find the tile cracked around his clenched fist, knuckles bleeding. He

pulled his hand away from the new hole in the wall, slowly. No, he said, and his voice soundedstrange in his own ears. Noeverything isfine.

Are you certain? the voice asked. Loki closed his eyes and put his hand under the water to rinse thedust of cracked tile off his skin, gritting his teeth for the sting.

Yes, he said. Im certain.

He heard nothing for two days.

Doubtless, he told himself, Steve was recuperating, and there were meetings to see to. Doubtlesseverything was fine and there was nothing to worry about. Doubtless.

He paced a straight line back and forth in front of the windows for hours. The one time hed closed hiseyes, hed woken barely an hour later screaming from nightmares of watching Doom, or the Chitauri,or possibly both, tear into the Captains body while he was tethered and helpless only a few feet away.Weakness, he castigated himself, but it was a bit late for that. Carving out that piece of his heart nowwas too much to contemplate.

When a heavy knock came on the door late in the second day, he whirled around at once, his heartleaping in his chest, but the clarifying voice followed a moment later, It is I. Thor. Loki closed hiseyes.

He might have news, Loki reminded himself, and made his feet cross the room to the door. What, hesaid, flatly.

Steve is fine, Thor said, without delay, and the surge of relief and gratitude that washed through Lokialmost swept him off his feet, and did make his knees wobble. He sagged, for a moment, unaware untilthe moment he let it go how much tension he had been holding. The healers will not let him leave, yet,but he asked that Ithat you be told.

Loki ducked his head and murmured a prayer to the Norns. Hed feared for a moment, hed feared.Thor reached out, and then dropped his hand, and Loki forced himself to summon the words, if grudgingly. Thank you.

The look on Thors face was so pathetically grateful it hurt. Loki glanced aside. Is that all?

Thor hesitated, and then held out a paper bag, awkwardly. I broughtgroceries. Steve Rogers told methat he brings you food on Thursdays. I didnt know what you usually need, but Iguessed. Lokistared at him, and after a moment Thor fidgeted, slightly. I thought you might require food.

I do not, Loki said, blandly, though the moment after he said it he remembered that it was Thursday,and that there had been things hed needed. Thors face fell.

Will you accept it anyway? he asked, after a moment. Loki looked at him, and sighed through hisnose.


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Very well, he said, sticking out a hand. Thor deposited the handles in his palm, their hands brushingtogether just for a moment. I suppose I can store it for later. News and foodstuffs, then. Anythingelse?

Yes, Thor said, after a labored pause. There isone other thing. I wished toI wished to makecertain that you were all right as well.

Loki snorted, though something clenched in his chest, and he turned away, retreating into his rooms. I

was not the one kidnapped and tortured, if you have forgotten. He rearranged some books on thecounter, picked one up, and set it down again, avoiding looking back at Thor.

I know, but He heard Thor shift, and stop. May I come in?

Loki hesitated. No, was the right answer. He had not permitted Thor into this room since arriving here.Changing that unspoken rule now seemed like a risk. But the idea of sitting up here alone for as long asit took, with only his own thoughts for companythat sounded worse. Loki lifted a hand and flickedhis fingers. For the moment.

Loki heard Thor step inside, closing the door behind him, and take a step toward him. He tensed, andThor fell still. He could just see Thors shadow out of the corner of his eye. You werevery upset,Thor said, carefully. And when you returnedyou did not stay near Steve.

Loki shrugged tensely. I felt certain your friends would not welcome my presence, and did not wish tohinder the Captains treatment.

He could almost hear Thor frown, even without looking. I would not expect that to stop you. Youever were a worrier. And prone to hover whensomeone who mattered to you was injured.

When you were injured, you mean, Loki said, dryly. I cant recall anyone else. He wasnt sure if

he meant anyone else who mattered to me then or otherwise. Thor made a sound like an uncertain,awkward laugh.

Iyes. So it struck me as odd, he added, rushing onward. Loki made himself turn, keeping hisexpression dispassionate.

Now who is worrying? he drawled. Thors eyes scanned his face, brows furrowed with concern.Loki wished he hadnt looked. And needlessly. I am, of course, fine.

Steve will recover swiftly, Thor said, slowly. And I do not doubt you saved him from a terriblefate.

Not soon enough. Loki felt his mouth thin. He should not have been harmed at all. Mm, Loki said,noncommitally. Thor made a motion as though to reach out again, though he stopped it. I killed not afew of them, Loki said, suddenly, not sure why. It likely could have been avoided, but Ilost mytemper.

Something of thunder slipped into Thors eyes. Do you expect me to chastise you for that? he asked.Good. They deserved no better.

Loki jerked his head slightly. No doubt he would disagree. Thor, to his gratitude, did not ask whohe was supposed to be.

Is that what troubles you? Thor sounded incredulous. Do you think Steve would hold the deaths of his enemies against you? He might, Loki thought, but that wasnt it, not really. His rooms felt too fullwith Thor in them, like he couldnt breathe quite deeply enough.


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It doesnt matter, Loki said, not quite bitterly. It was petty, foolish. Steve was fine. He ought tosimply rejoice in that. But it was all tangled up together, and he couldnt unknot any of it from the rest.

It seems it matters to you, Thor said, bull-headed as ever, and Loki could have stabbed him.

Perhaps it does, he snapped, but that doesnt mean I wish to speak to you about it! Thor lookedstartled, but only for a moment. Loki still felt a sudden and hateful burst of shame. He turned awayagain, rubbing at the bridge of his nose. He wanted Steve here, where he could see him, but he would

not

I am sorry, Thor said, after a long moment. I should not pry.

Loki coughed something like a laugh. When have you known how to do anything else?

I am trying to learn. Thor sounded rueful. They were both silent, but eventually Thor asked, Idoyou wish me to leave?

Yes. No. Loki grimaced at nothing. Already? Weve hardly screamed at each other at all, yet.

I suppose my hope is that we do not, Thor said, his voice serious in a way that made Lokis skin itch.I am this is the first time we have spoken in more than a year, Loki. I am merelyI do not wish toruin a chance that I might speak to you again, before another year is past.

Loki closed his eyes for a moment, feeling his mouth twist. Ambitious.

Is it?

Loki sighed, his shoulders slipping down. It washard, sometimes. To remember to keep Thor out of his mind and heart and thoughts and life. He no longer tensed every time Steve mentioned his namewithout thinking, and a few times hed come very near to thinking fondly of old memories, Thor-memories, that had been untouchable for a time. Maybe, he said, finally. It is difficult to say.Silence, again. He turned, eventually, and raised his eyebrows at Thor, who was looking at him with astrange expression. Well?

I suppose I shall just have to see, he said, slowly, and then seemed to shake himself. You should goto Steve. He is worried as well, and I know he would be grateful for your presence.

Loki made a dismissive gesture. Im sure, he said, carelessly. Ill keep that suggestion in mind.

Loki half expected the shrill screaming of an alarm when he slipped out of his rooms in the middle of the night without an escort and set off for the elevator, but there was not so much as a beep. The hairprickled on the back of his neck with the knowledge that the computer was undoubtedly watching him,but he ignored the feeling, keeping his stride even.

He took the stairs instead of the elevator, not interested in becoming trapped in the event that someonedid decide he shouldnt be out of his quarters, weaving his way down to the floor where heremembered the infirmary being located. The layout of this absurd structure had been one of the firstthings hed memorized, even long before hed begun staying here. He let himself through a pair of locked doors with a flick of his wrist, and paused.

There was only one occupied bed, though, and Loki padded silently over, after a brief pause. Steveseyes were closed, but Loki could see them moving rapidly under the lids, his mouth set in a smallfrown. He still looked pale, dark and bruise-like circles visible around his eyes, and he could see thewhite of bandages above the sheets, but he seemed relaxed, at least. Resting. Loki let out a quietexhale.


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Hed needed to see. To be sure.

Loki made himself turn, however reluctantly, but stopped when he heard a slight shift in Stevesbreathing, a raggedness slipping in. He turned back and found that Steves frown had deepened,eyebrows pulling together. Loki took a quiet step towards the bed, and something, perhaps his shadowor the sound of his feet on the floor, however quiet, reached down into Steves rest. He jerked, comingawake with a sharp inhale, eyes wide and immediately tense. Loki fell perfectly still. He could see

disorientation, fear, and his heart dropped heavily into his stomach.

Whos Steves voice sounded faintly blurry.

Its only me, Loki said, keeping his voice measured, and keeping a distance, as well, though he wassuddenly aware of an acute desire to curl his body around Steves and take them both somewhereproperly safe, even knowing that there was nowhere that would be. Steve still looked uncertain,nervous, and Loki raised a hand and summoned a light, just enough to illuminate his face. I wishedto

Steve relaxed, sinking back down to his elbows. Oh, he said, and closed his eyes. You startled me.

I thought you were sleeping, Loki said, carefully. Steve nodded, fractionally, though his eyes stayedclosed. After a moment, Loki moved to the bedside and summoned a chair, sitting down awkwardly,releasing the light to bob at his shoulder. Notnot well, Loki added, eyes on Steves face, watchingpainfully closely. Steve was quiet for a moment, then shook his head. Loki frowned. Captain?

Steves eyes opened. Steve, he said, somewhat emphatically.

Beg pardon?

Dontcall me Steve. There was a strange set to his mouth, and a shadow in his eyes that it took Loki a moment to understand, and then he nearly felt his teeth click together. Thats mine, he wanted tohiss. She cant taint it, but of course, the woman who had called herself Sin already had. However shehad used it against himLoki glanced away. Not forever, Steve added, just

I understand. Loki reached out, not letting himself think about the gesture too much, to brush a fewerrant strands of blond hair off Steves forehead, and watched Steve relax, slightly. He shifted hisfingers, letting them run back through Steves hair.

Bruce offered me something to help me sleep, Steve said, after a moment. I didnt take it.

Loki frowned, though he kept the rhythm of his fingers steady. Why not? he asked, instead of chiding. Steve wasnt a fool. His Captain was quiet for a long while, though, until Loki almost thoughthe wasnt going to answer.

I dont like the feeling. Of beingout of it. Not being able to respond if I need to. Steve chuckled,though it sounded weak. I guess that sounds kind of paranoid.

Youre a warrior, Loki said. Its understandable. He didnt ask if she had kept him drugged intosubmission. Suspected that he didnt need to. His left hand, not in Steves hair, curled into a fist, and hewished he had killed the creature more slowly.

Im sorry, Steve said, suddenly, and Loki jerked.

What are you apologizing for? he asked, voice a little sharp. Steves head turned away from him.

For upsetting you. Or worrying you. He sounded faintly embarrassed, self-conscious. I dont like


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making people worry. Its not-

Why, Loki said, unable to keep the note of tension out of his voice. Because you must always bethe strong one for everyone else, and it is impermissible for you to fail, even for a moment, to be theinvulnerable idol you are expected to be?

Steve blinked. I didnt-

Loki gave him a hard look. I may not like that you are not invincible, but if I resented your humanity Iwould never have touched you. It is that you are human that makes you what you are. The wordsspilled from his mouth almost before hed considered them. The ones who need apologize are thosewho think they can harm you with impunity when you are under my protection.

He realized, belatedly, that he might have overplayed his hand. The look Steve was giving him was astrange one, startled and thoughtful all at once. Loki made himself settle back in the chair hedsummoned, and tried to look as though hed said nothing of very much importance.

Im all right, Steve said, after a pause. Im notI heal fast.

Physically, Loki said, and then wanted to pinch himself. He looked hastily away. My apologies. Ishould not-

No, Steve said, though he sounded a little uncertain. Youre notIve always told you that its not abad thing tohell of a hypocrite Id be to make exceptions for myself. But I will be fine.

Would you tell me, Loki wanted to challenge him, that you did not recall your years under the ice, as you were unable to fight? That you did not remember the horrors of your first war, the friends lost there, that being held by HYDRA touched no nightmares of yours, but to strip him bare like that wouldbe a cruelty Steve had always spared him. Will be, Loki said, nonetheless, keeping his voice quiet.

But are not. It was easier than he expected to speak the words: Let me help.His breath caught in his chest for a moment, the fear that Steve would turn him away, would refuse theoffer, but Steves eyes on him were just confused. Help how? he asked, after a moment.

I may not be able tofor the moment, just to give you a few hours of restful sleep. I will stay here, asyour eyes. He could see Steve frowning, marshalling protests, and added, I will leave before anyoneelse awakes. If the computer hasnt warned anyone by now, I think we can suppose a suspension of therules for a little while. Steves eyebrows pulled together, and Loki let his fingers slide out of Steveshair and down to his chin, traced the line of his jaw. Let me watch over you, he said, and did notspeak the please. You need the rest.

All right, Steve said, and Loki bent down to kiss his lips lightly. He could feel the tension slidingback into him, and let the kiss linger until it eased a little, pulling his lips away only to gather Steveshand between his own and press each knuckle gently to his lips. He could feel the newness of freshskin under his lips. Steve let out a quiet, shuddery sigh, and then said, even more quietly, I trust you.

Like a fist around his heart. Loki exhaled over Steves skin and murmured the words for the spell,green-gold threads twining down his arm and vanishing. Steve shivered, his eyes slightly wide as hewatched, though they grew heavy quickly.

Oh, Steve said, his voice thick. He slumped back, head dropping onto the pillow with a thump. Lokilowered Steves hand from his mouth, though he kept it clasped between his. Thatseffective.

Loki smiled, fractionally. Sleep well, he said. And without dreams. I can keep watch.

Steves eyelids drooped. Youll be here?


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Ill be here, Loki confirmed, quietly, and Steve smiled faintly, eyes closing, muscles going slowlyslack.

Loki moved to replace Steves hand at his side, but at the last moment he simply shifted his fingers,folding them around so the tips could just touch the soft beat of his pulse in the wrist, keeping count of that steady rhythm. His.

Banner came first, early in the morning. He stepped inside, and Loki glanced up, felt himself stiffen. Hedidnt let go of Steves hand, though, almost made it a challenge, stared at the man, warily defensive.Banner looked thoughtful, and maybe like he wanted to smile.

How is he, he asked, quietly, after a long moment of still silence between them.

Healing, Loki said, slightly curtly, but despite his resentmenthe half moved as though to go, onlyto stop short as Steves fingers tightened on his wrist. Loki looked back sharply, but his breathing wasstill the deep, even sound of sleep. He could feel Banner looking, and wanted to tense.

Its all right, he said, after a moment. Ill come back later. He needs the rest. Loki eyed him, but

Banner didnt acknowledge it, added an almost cheerful, Good morning, before he left.

Loki watched the door close, and looked back at Steve, still sleeping soundly.

I am a fool, he murmured, into the quiet, resettling their linked hands. But perhaps you are as well.

The world wasnt going to end yet.

He could have this, a little bit longer, in the time measured out by the beats of Steves heart under hisfingertips.

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woven in my soul - 11

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