four complete women (تلاماك ءاسن - sistersnotes · many men are messengers who are...

بسم هللا الرحمن الرحيمFour Complete Women ( كامالت نساء )

Four Complete Women ( كامالت نساء )

Anything good is from Allah (swt) alone, any mistakes are from myself and the

shaitan. May Allah (swt) forgive us, accept from us, and make us of the grateful ones.

Ameen.

Introduction

In Islam, Allah (swt) gave the woman a position because there is an entire surah called An Nisa’a

(The Women) (النساء), you don’t find a surah called Ar Rijjal (The Men) (الرجال). Surah An Nisa’a is also

one of the longer surahs in the Quran.

Women are not half or quarter of the society but they are the whole of society because they are

taking care of the children and the husbands. A house will be paradise when the woman is righteous

and a house is hell when the woman is not, and this shows the stability of the house is dependent

on the woman, subhan Allah.

Alhamdulliah that Allah is Allah and Alhamduliah He is Rabb Al ‘Almeen, He is nurturing us and this is

an opening from Allah (swt) to nurture us through knowledge and to teach us about the Four

Complete Women.


All women have four examples to consider whereas men have many examples from the messengers

and companions.

Hadith: The Prophet (ملسو هيلع هللا ىلص) said: ( ، شهرها وصامت ، خمسها صلت إذا المرأة : - وسلم عليهه للا صلى - للاه رسول قال

له ؛ بعلها وأطاعت ، فرجها وأحصنت خ ن فل تد شاءت الجنةه أبوابه أي مه ) (The lady who prays her five prayers, fasts

her Ramadan, protects her chastity and obeys her husband, then she will enter paradise from any

gate she wishes) – Mishkat Al Misbah 3190, Authenticated by Al Albani as Hasan

o These are the four golden rules, subhan Allah. She will get to enter from any of the eight

gates of paradise. Sometimes a lady might do more voluntaries, but she’s not obeying her

husband. Or she’s doing the obligations but not guarding her chastity. Imagine if a lady is

following these four golden rules and she’s doing voluntaries – this is light upon light ( نورا

نور على ).

If a person were to do a search for a complete woman, either it would come up with a lady with

outer looks or a lady with a successful career. However the four complete women which Allah (swt)

tells us have the common factor of servitude to Allah (swt). Your perfection is when you obey Allah

(swt). All four ladies are devoted to Allah (swt) and they are serving their homes – they are good to

their husbands and children.

Asiya the wife of Firaoun is complete because of her patience on the decree of having a tyrant

husband. She was patient and asked Allah (swt) to build her a home in paradise and to protect her

from his evil. She didn’t wish to die.

Khadija (ra) was the wife of the Prophet (ملسو هيلع هللا ىلص), she was a businesswoman but what made her

complete? Her support of her husband. She never put him down or disregarded him – she gave him

full attention. Don’t say she’s lucky and Asiya is unlucky. Allah (swt) knows you and He knows what’s

good for you. It’s not about good luck or bad luck. Allah (swt) knows what’s good for everyone.

Every human being has a strength and goodness in them, and when you obey Allah (swt) this

strength will appear, subhan Allah. All the decrees you go to are in order to bring out your strength.

Allah (swt) knows which situation is suitable for you.

Absolute completeness belongs to Allah (swt) alone ( وحده هلل المطلق الكمال )

Only Allah (swt) is complete in all aspects and attributes.

Surah Al Ikhlas: ( و ٱلل أحد مد ( ١)ق ل ه ف وا أحد ( ٣)لم يلهد ولم ي ولد ( ٢)ٱلل ٱلص (٤)ولم يك ن له ۥ ڪ ) (Say (O Muhammad

) He is Allâh, (the) One. (1) "Allâh-us-Samad" :((ملسو هيلع هللا ىلص) الحاجات في إليه يصمد الذي السيد ) [Allâh the Self-Sufficient

Master, Whom all creatures need, (He neither eats nor drinks)]. (2) "He begets not, nor was He

begotten; (3) "And there is none co-equal or comparable unto Him." (4))

Allah (swt) is unique, He is the Self-Sufficient Master, He doesn’t have a son and He is not a father to

anyone. And no one is like Him.

Surah Ash Shura 11: ( ثلهههۦ ليس يع وه و شىء كمه مه ير ٱلس ٱلبصه ) (There is nothing like Him, and He is the All-Hearer,

the All-Seer.)


There is no one like Allah (swt) and no one resembles Him in His perfection. He is the All-Seer and

All-Hearer.

Surah Ar Room 27: ( وٲته فهى ٱلعلى ٱلمثل وله ـ م His is the highest description (i.e. none has the) ( وٱلرضه ٱلس

right to be worshipped but He, and there is nothing comparable unto Him) in the heavens and in the

earth)

The highest example belongs to Allah (swt), for example when we talk about mercy, there is mercy

of a human, but there is nothing like the mercy of Allah (swt) – He has the highest example and

description from all aspects.

That’s why you ( للا اال اله ال ) is an important foundation to have before learning about the complete

women. For a woman to be complete, it is different from a man being complete. And when we talk

about completeness, we think it’s perfection with no faults, but absolute perfection belongs only to

Allah (swt).

Human perfection ( البشري الكمال )

Humans are different in their creation and their character. Some humans are beautiful, some are

ugly, some can see, and some are blind, some can hear, and some are deaf. So there are differences

between people in creation. You can find people with good manners, some with bad, some who talk

good and some who talk bad.

Even if you see a person born blind, this blindness is perfection for him. Whatever features or

character a person is born with, this is perfection for him. But other people would say, ‘poor him,

he’s disabled, etc’. Their fault is their way to perfection and we need to believe this.

From all of mankind, the most perfect of creation are the prophets and messengers. Allah (swt)

looked at all of creation, and chose the messengers and prophets to be the best of creation. He gave

them the perfect image and character. They are perfect in their creation and character and we need

to believe this. Surah Al An’am 124: ( سالته يجعل حيث أعلم ٱلل ره ) (Allâh knows best with whom to place His

Message)

One of the scholars said the best images and characters belong to the messengers and prophets.

And if anyone accuses any of the messengers to have faults in his image, then as if he’s harming that

messenger, istaghfar Allah. Similar to Musa (as) who would bathe covered so the people accused

him of having a defect, then Allah (swt) willed to have his clothing blown away and others ملسو هيلع هللا ىلص that

he was perfect in his creation – Surah Al Ahzab 69: ( ہا أي ـ ين ي ين تك ون وا ال ءامن وا ٱلذه أه م وسى ءاذوا كٱلذه ا ٱلل فبر م مه

ند وكان قال وا ه عه ا ٱلل وجهيہ ) (you who believe! Be not like those who annoyed Mûsa (Moses), but Allâh

cleared him of that which they alleged, and he was honourable before Allâh)

The messengers are perfect in their behavior. Allah (swt) told the Prophet (ملسو هيلع هللا ىلص) in Surah Al Qalam

4: ( ل ق لعلى وإهنك يم خ عظه ) (And verily, you (O Muhammad ملسو هيلع هللا ىلص) are on an exalted (standard of)

character)

They are the best in their lineage and come from the best families because they will then speak to

the people. We know that the most honorable among you with Allah (swt) are the ones with the

most taqwa, but for the messengers they came from noble lineages.


All of the messengers are men, it doesn’t suit a woman to be a messenger. Surah Al Anbiya 7: ( وما

جاال إهال قبلك أرسلنا م نوحهى ره but men to whom We (ملسو هيلع هللا ىلص O Muhammad) And We sent not before you) ( إهليہه

revealed)

One of the perfection for men is to be messengers, the messengers need to be dedicated 24 hours.

Women have responsibilities, they can get emotional, they think many things at the same time,

while men just think straight.

It’s not the perfection of a woman to be a messenger, but Allah (swt) gave women other ways to be

perfect.

Hadith: ( ، عن بهي أن عنه للا رضى أنس ب ك " قال وسلم عليه للا صلى الن ن حس ين نهساءه مه يم ال عالمه نة مر ران اب م يجة عه ت وخده لهد بهن وي خ

مة ت وفاطه د بهن ية م حم رأة وآسه ن ام عو فهر ) (Narrated Anas [may Allah be pleased with him]: that the Prophet (ملسو هيلع هللا ىلص)

said: "Sufficient for you among the women of mankind are Mariam bint 'Imran, Khadijah bint Khuwailid,

Fatimah bint Muhammad and Asiyah the wife of Fir'awn.") – At Tirmidhi Book 49, Hadith 4252

Many men are messengers who are complete, but there are four complete women – Asiya wife of

Firaoun, Khadija bin Khuwailid (ra), Maryam bint Imran, Fatima bint Mohammed (ملسو هيلع هللا ىلص).

They are the best women in the world. Nowadays women are being used as objects to promote

products and a women is measured according to how she looks. But alhamdulliah with Islam, the

woman is honored like a preserved pearl. That’s why the rulings in Islam for women are to protect

the lady because she is precious.

It is important to know what these women did to deserve to be the complete women. And no one

will be more complete than them until the Day of Judgement. And in paradise they are the best of

women, subhan Allah. May Allah (swt) admit us to paradise to see them. Ameen. It’s a regret to

know about other ladies while not knowing about the four complete women, subhan Allah.

The examples of these four women are collective of all situations of all ladies all over the world.

Women are either married or not, and either they’re married to someone righteous or not.

The Four Complete Women

Asiya is righteous while her husband is Firaoun – the greatest of tyrants. If a lady is righteous and

her husband is not, how will she be complete in her case? Many women complain about their

husbands, but no one has a husband like Firaoun. It is important to know how Asiya overcame her

husband. Many people have issues in their marriage regarding this case so it’s important to follow

her example.

Khadija is an example of a righteous women, but she is wife to best of mankind, so how did she

reach perfection? Subhan Allah.

Maryam bin Imran was not married, so how was she complete?

Fatima bint Mohammed (ملسو هيلع هللا ىلص) has has many roles – she is wife of Ali bin Abi Talib (ra), mother of Al

Hasan and Al Hussein, and daughter of the Prophet (ملسو هيلع هللا ىلص). She is an example of a righteous mother,

righteous wife, and righteous daughter, subhan Allah.

Asiya bint Muzahim – wife of Firaoun ( فرعون امرأة آسية )


Asiya bint Muzahim is the wife of Firaoun, the greatest tyrant ever. He would kill babies and oppress

others. Since she is the wife of Firaoun, the ruler of Egypt, she is living a life of luxury. She also has a

say in making Firaoun listen to her. This happened when Musa (as) reached Firaoun’s palace as a

baby. When he was found, he was taken to Asiya, but she fell in love with this baby. They wanted to

kill him, but she said Surah Al Qasas 9: ( ت فهرعون ٱمرأت وقالته تقت ل وه ال ولك ل ى عين ق ر ۥ نتخهذه أو ينفعنا أن عسى

ا م ولد ون ال وه ر يشع ) (And the wife of Fir'aun (Pharaoh) said: "A comfort of the eye for me and for you.

Kill him not, perhaps he may be of benefit to us, or we may adopt him as a son." And they perceive

not (the result of that).). Though this baby is the very one who will destroy Firaoun, but Firaoun

melted and listened to her. This shows that Asiya has a position with Firaoun, she is not a wife that is

ignored by her husband.

While she was taking care of Musa (as), she accepted Islam without anyone knowing. And the

hairdresser of the Firaoun household also accepted Islam without anyone knowing. Once her comb

fell on the floor, and she said ‘Bism Allah’. When this was heard, it angered Firaoun that a Muslim

would be in his household. Firaoun took boiling oil, and placed her four children one by one in the

boiling oil and made her see this, she didn’t give up on her deen and was then placed as well. She

remained firm on her deen, and the Prophet (ملسو هيلع هللا ىلص) said when he went in Isra’a and Mi’raj, he said

he could hear them laughing in paradise, subhan Allah. They died as martyrs.

When Asiya saw this incident and how her servant was so strong in her faith, she thought, ‘I am a

queen, so why should I be scared?’ She declared ( للا اال اله ال ) to all – she knew Firaoun is not your

great lord. Don’t give away your deen for anyone, and no one can torture you how Firaoun tortured

his wife. When he knew she embraced Islam, he tortured her like no other. She left her luxury, her

palace, and servants all for the sake of Allah (swt) and she wasn’t scared of Firaoun.

She left her life for ( للا اال اله ال ) – she didn’t do so many worships, but perfection is to hold on firm to

your faith. Being a slave to Allah (swt) is what makes you complete, it’s not because of your beauty,

or who is your husband, or your house, or your family background. Some women think perfection is

how their body looks, but perfection is your obedience to Allah (swt).

Allah (swt) mentioned to us her last statement before she died, and this shows she was being

tortured until she died. This last statement made her complete.

Surah At Tahreem 11: ( ين ءامن ل لذهن فهرعون وضرب ٱلل مثال نهى مه ةه ونج ا فهى ٱلجن ندك بيت وا ٱمرأت فهرعون إهذ قالت رب ٱبنه لهى عه

ين لهمه ـ ن ٱلقومه ٱلظ نهى مه And Allâh has set forth an example for those who believe; the wife of Fir'aun) (وعملهههۦ ونج

(Pharaoh), when she said: "My Lord! Build for me a home with You in Paradise, and save me from

Fir'aun (Pharaoh) and his work, and save me from the people who are Zâlimûn (polytheists, wrong-doers

and disbelievers in Allâh).)

Asiya had treasures, authority and a palace before but that didn’t make her complete. Her

submission and devotion to Allah (swt) made her complete. This is an advice to all women who went

through oppression with their husbands, and no one went what Asiya went through. Her patience

and her dua’a made her complete.

Allah (swt) gave an example to the believers about the wife of Firaoun – and it’s mentioned that she

is the ‘wife of Firaoun’, so did she die as divorcing Firaoun? No. She took care of Musa (as) and Allah

(swt) appreciated this act, and she stopped others from killing him, so Allah (swt) did not allow her


to die as a disbeliever, subhan Allah. Firaoun was the closest one to her, but she didn’t remind him

and say, ‘remember us before, etc’, - she went to her Rabb.

Firaoun said about himself ‘I am your great rabb ( العلى ربكم أنا )’. She knows her husband is not a

rabb, but she knows that Allah (swt) is her Rabb. When you know Allah (swt), then it makes you very

strong. She is not a messenger, but all of the messengers would begin their dua’a with Rabb. So flee

to your Rabb, not your mother, or sister or friends. When a wife goes through oppression, she goes

to her mother, but this only makes it worse.

Imagine your daughter has a problem, you as a mother will feel more pain because you’re not there.

Asiya didn’t turn to anyone but her Rabb because only He knows about her.

1. So when you go through oppression flee only to your Rabb because this is what makes you

complete, subhan Allah.

People complain that their husband doesn’t speak to them, but when you see what Asiya went

through, then you will say ‘alhamdulliah’.

When someone is oppressed, the shaitan will make the person discouraged, but you need to go to

your Rabb to make you complete.

Oppression from a husband is very uncomfortable and it makes life difficult, but what makes it easy?

ا فهى ٱلجنةه ) ندك بيت her dua’a is very – (”My Lord! Build for me a home with You in Paradise") (رب ٱبنه لهى عه

specific. What is the most important thing for a woman? To have a house, this is the women’s

kingdom. Asiya has a palace but her companion is Firaoun and this is like hell. That’s why her dua’a

is ‘build for me’, she doesn’t have any interest in her palace or her belongings. She left everything

for ( للا اال اله ال ), and her saying build for me a house in paradise shows she had great belief in the Last

Day and in paradise. She wants Allah (swt) to build for her, not Firaoun to build for her. She has no

interest in Firaoun. And she wants it for her, and where does she want it? (عندك) – with Allah (swt).

She chose the neighborhood before the house, subhan Allah. She chose the neighborhood of Allah

(swt). Anyone who goes through oppression needs to have hope in paradise. A person needs to

believe when they leave anything for Allah (swt) then for sure Allah (swt) will give them better.

People think, ‘what will happen if I become Muslim, my work, etc.’ but you need to be certain that

Allah (swt) will give better.

When you make dua’a to Allah (swt), make your dua’a very high, with great expectations from Allah

(swt). There is no comparison between a house next to Allah (swt) and a palace with Firaoun.

Everything in the duniya is cheap compared to the akhira, so don’t be deceived by the duniya – be

firm on the deen.

2. Yaqeen – absolute certainty – in the akhira overcomes all feelings of the duniya.

She didn’t say, ‘I want to go back to my palace’, she wanted a house next to Allah (swt) in paradise.

Her feelings were cut off from the duniya. The duniya is there but she it has no value with her. And

Asiya is someone who has seen everything, yet she gave it up for Allah (swt). Her belief in the akhira

overpowered her; she’s not heedless. When your concern is the akhira, then you won’t magnify your

problems in the duniya. You don’t think, ‘why is he on the phone, why doesn’t he take me out, why

doesn’t he buy me jewerlry’, etc.

And notice Asiya didn’t make dua’a against Firaoun, she didn’t even curse him, subhan Allah. She’s

very noble in her character. The Quran talks much about the akhira in order to make your goals high

and to make your problems low. There is a story of lady who complained about her husband and the


husband complained about her, the lady was told one day you will die and one day your husband

will die, so enjoy your life. You will be both under the grave, you will be resurrected and each will

turn away from the other, and if both are in paradise, then you will be the best to each other. After

this it hit her hard and didn’t complain again.

When a person is heedless of Allah (swt) and the Last Day, then it makes the person feel the

oppression more. Asiya had so much yaqeen in Allah (swt), in the Last Day, in paradise, and homes

in paradise next to Allah (swt).

Surah Saad 46: ( ا ه م إهن ـ ڪرى بهخالهصة أخلصن اره ذه ٱلد ) (Verily, We did choose them by granting them (a good

thing,— i.e.) the remembrance of the home [in the Hereafter])

One of the favors of Allah (swt) to His messengers and complete people is to remember the akhira.

The akhira is always in front of their eyes. They see a house in this life, and they remember the

house in akhira. When you are always remembering the akhira, then this is a favor from Allah (swt)

which He favored with those who are complete. When we think of the akhira, then it makes us react

balanced. But when think of the duniya, then it makes us overreact, scream, act with desire, etc.

If you are seeking a happy and beautiful house, then you will find it in paradise by your devotion.

She didn’t curse her husband or make dua’a against him. You fill find women with so much hatred

towards their husband, but look at her heart. She’s worried about herself, if her husband chose

misguidance and she chose guidance, she doesn’t want to be affected by the deeds of Firaoun. For

this reason her dua’a was ( ن فهرعون وعملههه نهى مه .(and save me from Fir'aun (Pharaoh) and his work) (ونج

After asking for a house in paradise, she is asked to be saved.

Those who go through oppression, wish to die quickly so they can be done with the oppression or to

leave this world. Did Asiya ask Allah (swt) to make her die or to destroy Firaoun? No, because she

knows it’s not up to her, but up to Allah (swt). Rather she said ‘save me’ and this shows so much

optimism and hope. She didn’t ask Allah (swt) to exit from this life, but may Allah (swt) save me. This

is the dua’a of those who are complete, they didn’t ask for their life to end, but to be saved, and to

be alive is a great blessing.

3. Hope in Allah (swt) to be saved, she’s not depending on her self – ( باهلل اال قوة ال و حول ال ) – there is

no might or power except with Allah.

With faith it makes you positive, nothing can break you. She is so strong, stronger than Firaoun.

Where is Firaoun? Surah Ghafir 46: ( ار ون ٱلن ا عليہا ي عرض و د ا غ ي اعة تق وم ويوم وعشه ا ٱلس عذابه ٱل أشد فهرعون ءال أدخهل و )

(The Fire; they are exposed to it, morning and afternoon, and on the Day when the Hour will be

established (it will be said to the angels): "Cause Fir'aun's (Pharaoh) people to enter the severest

torment!") and where is she? In paradise, subhan Allah. She wants to be saved from Firaoun who

can influence her. A husband can have a lot of influence because he’s close. She wants to be saved

from Firaoun and his evil actions

She also wants to be saved from anyone who can change her mind ( نهى ين ونج لهمه ـ ن ٱلقومه ٱلظ مه ) (and save

me from the people who are Zâlimûn). Her dua’a was so beautiful that Allah (swt) mentioned it in

the Quran. It is said that before Aisya died, Allah (swt) made her see her house above and then she

died, subhan Allah.

So what made her complete?


o Fleeing to your Rabb, fleeing to people will make you weak and they don’t know what

you’re going through. When you flee to Allah (swt), He will bring the right people to advise

you.

o Yaqeen in the akhira

o There is no might and power except with Allah ( بالل اال قوة ال و حول ال ) and sufficient is Allah for

me and He is the best trustee ( الوكيل نعم و للا حسبي )

Whatever happens in your life, be patient, flee to your Rabb, have yaqeen in the akhira, and there is

no might or power except with Allah (swt).

Khadija bint Khuwaylid ( عنها هللا رضي ) – wife of the Prophet (ملسو هيلع هللا ىلص) ( عنها هللا رضي خويلد بنت خديجة )

Khadija (ra) was the wife to the best of mankind and Asiya was the wife to the worst of mankind,

subhan Allah. Asiya’a husband is a disbeliever but Allah (swt) didn’t punish her because of the

disbelief of her husband. We shouldn’t say, look how she’s so good and he’s so bad, maybe she did

something wrong to get a husband like him, istaghfar Allah.

In the case of Khadija (ra) you have a complete woman married to the most complete of men,

subhan Alalh. Allah (swt) gave us an example of everything in order to not be narrow-minded,

especially regarding marriage.

Khadija (ra) was married twice before the Prophet (ملسو هيلع هللا ىلص) and both husbands died; she also had

children from them. Nowadays, if someone sees a lady married twice and both husbands died,

they’ll think she’s cursed, subhan Allah.

After these two marriages, Khadija (ra) decided to focus on her business. She came from a noble

family, she had a say in matters, and she was known to be a businesswoman. She was advised to

hire the Prophet Mohammed (ملسو هيلع هللا ىلص) because he is the most trustworthy. She was not interested in

marriage at the time, but after seeing Mohammed (ملسو هيلع هللا ىلص) she admired him and told her friend that

she was interested in marrying him. She was forty years old and the Prophet Mohammed (ملسو هيلع هللا ىلص) was

25 years and Allah (swt) willed for them to be married. This relationship was suitable because the

Prophet (ملسو هيلع هللا ىلص) was in need of a ‘motherly’ support because he lost his mother at a young age. Their

marriage was smooth and all of the children of the Prophet (ملسو هيلع هللا ىلص) were from her, except Ibrahim

who was from Mariyah.

Though she was older than him, she was sufficient for him, and he didn’t go and marry others, and

this clears the misconception because he could have married a younger women.

Allah (swt) put the love of being alone in the Prophet (ملسو هيلع هللا ىلص). Imagine if your husband would tell you

he wants to be alone for some time, what would you think? You would think negatively and think

he’s getting married again, or you go into thinking really far. But look at Khadija (ra), she didn’t

object and she also provided him with food. At the age of forty, the Prophet (ملسو هيلع هللا ىلص) would go to Cave

Haraa ( حراء غار ). It was a very high place and he would go there to contemplate the Creator and the

creation, subhan Allah.

Khadija (ra) supported her husband and didn’t ask, ‘who are you with, how long, etc’ – she

respected him and obeyed him – this is a complete women. A wife should keep the goodness of

her husband active in her mind. Just because the Prophet (ملسو هيلع هللا ىلص) wanted to be alone at the age of


forty after all this time; she didn’t suspect him. If your husband changes, don’t suspect because the

shaitan is very happy to separate between husband and wife. Hadith: ( ، عن ول قال قال جابهر ه رس للا صلى للا

لهيس إهن " وسلم عليه شه يضع إهب عث ث م ال ماءه على عر م سراياه يب ناه ه فأد ن لة مه زه ه م من ظم نة أع م يجهيء فهت ه وكذا كذا فعل ت فيق ول أحد

ت ما فيق ول ئا صنع م يجهيء ث م قال شي ه ت ه ما فيق ول أحد ق ت حتى ترك نه فر ن بي رأتههه وبي نهيهه - قال - ام ه في د ن م ويق ول مه ت نهع قال . " أن

مش م ه " قال أ راه الع فيل تزه ) (Jabir reported that Allah's Messenger (ملسو هيلع هللا ىلص) said: Iblis places his throne upon

water; he then sends detachments (for creating dissension) ; the nearer to him in rank are those

who are most notorious in creating dissension. One of them comes and says: "I did so and so." And

he says: "You have done nothing." Then one amongst them comes and says: "I did not spare so and

so until I sowed the seed of discord between a husband and a wife." The Satan goes near him and

says: "You have done well." A'mash said: He then embraces him.) - Sahih Muslim 2813

Don’t give a chance to the shaitan to whisper to you. The shaitan always wants to put doubts about

your husband, that’s why you need to have your memory active of your husband’s goodness.

The Prophet (ملسو هيلع هللا ىلص) would go for a few days, return, and go back again. So he started to spend more

of his time in isolation, though she didn’t ask.

Once in the month of Ramadan and it is said on the 27th, and only Allah (swt) knows best, Jibreel

(as) came to the Prophet (ملسو هيلع هللا ىلص) and held on to him and said ‘Read’ and the Prophet (ملسو هيلع هللا ىلص) ‘I can’t

read’, he held him again and said ‘Read’ and the Prophet (ملسو هيلع هللا ىلص) ‘I can’t read’, then he pushed him a

third time and said ( ى خلق ك ٱلذه ن علق ( ١)ٱقرأ بهٱسمه رب ن مه ـ م بهٱلقلمه ( ٣)ٱقرأ وربك ٱلكرم ( ٢)خلق ٱلهنسى عل علم ( ٤)ٱلذه

ن ما لم يعلم ـ (٥) ٱلهنس ) (Read! In the Name of your Lord, Who has created (all that exists), (1) He has

created man from a clot (a piece of thick coagulated blood) (2) Read! And your Lord is the Most

Generous, (3) Who has taught (the writing) by the pen. (4) He has taught man that which he knew

not. (5)) – Surah Al ‘Alaq 1-5. This was the first revelation, who said it’s by your power that you will

read, but by the name of your Rabb, He will make you read.

The Prophet (ملسو هيلع هللا ىلص) was in great fear after this incident and ran back to his home. As soon as he saw

Khadija (ra) – he said ( دثروني زملوني ) –‘cover me, wrap me’. Look at the manners of Khadija (ra) next –

she didn’t say ‘who told you to go there?’, ‘you see what happened, I told you..’, she didn’t blame

him.

A man in fear doesn’t need blame from his wife; he needs security. Husband and wife are garments

for each other. Surah Al Baqarah 187: ( ن م لهباس ه They are Lîbas [i.e. body cover, or) ( له ن لهباس وأنت م لك

screen, or Sakan, (i.e. you enjoy the pleasure of living with them)], for you and you are the same for

them) Meaning they protect you, and you cover each other’s awrat. You need to cover the awrat of

your spouse. You need to give comfort to each other. When a man gets so stressed from the outside

world, he can panic, so he needs (سكن) – tranquility in the house. He doesn’t need a ‘policeman’ at

the house or an ‘interrogator’ at home asking, ‘where were you at 9? I messaged you, why didn’t

you reply back to my message, why didn’t you return my call’, etc. The husband doesn’t need this –

he needs to feel secure with you, not scared, subhan Allah.

When the Prophet (ملسو هيلع هللا ىلص) said ( دثروني زملوني ) –‘cover me, wrap me’ – Khadija (ra) didn’t ask ‘why?’.

So when your husband asks you to do something, don’t ask why, or don’t think about it and then if

you’re convinced, then you’ll do it. When the husband is stressed, he doesn’t need questions from

you. She was complete because when commanded, she didn’t ask why. She didn’t feel


independent from him, as if I need to understand what we’re doing. For her, they’re one, subhan

Allah.

A women’s nature is to talk a lot, and Allah (swt) made us to talk much in order to reform our

children, not to interrogate the husband. The woman is already talking so much during the day, so

when the husband comes at night, she should listen to him.

Khadija (ra) didn’t say anything to the Prophet (ملسو هيلع هللا ىلص) until he was able to catch his breath, and then

he spoke to her. Look at her patience. Any other wife would panic and ask her husband, ‘what’s

wrong, you’re making me scared’, or she’ll go and call her mother and say ‘I don’t know what’s

wrong with my husband?’.

It’s important to control our emotions because when one person is in distress, then the other should

be firm, not losing it as well. Khadija (ra) was controlled, firm, and quiet.

The Prophet (ملسو هيلع هللا ىلص) said ( نفسي على خشيت لقد ) – I’m scared for myself. Khadija (ra) didn’t react with any

negative feelings, she didn’t say, ‘yeah because you were in the dark, etc’.

What did Khadija (ra) say? She said ( ، كال ر شه ه أب يك ال فوللا زه ه أبدا، للا ي خ ل إهنك فوللا حهم، لتصه ق الر د يث، وتص ال حده

ل مه ب ال كل، وتح سه وم، وتك د ي ال مع ف، وتق ره ي ين الض Nay! But receive the good tidings! By") ( ال حق نوائهبه على وت عه

Allah, Allah will never disgrace you, for by Allah, you keep good relations with your Kith and kin,

speak the truth, help the poor and the destitute, entertain your guests generously and assist those

who are stricken with calamities.") – Al Bukhari Book 65, Hadith 4953

She said, ‘don’t worry, but glad tidings, by Allah, He will never disgrace you’. Another lady might say,

‘don’t worry, I’m with you, I can help you’. But Khadija (ra) didn’t talk about herself or connect him

to herself, she connected him to Allah (swt) and this is the strength. Her support came in the form of

reminding him of Allah (swt), subhan Allah. This is the beginning of the prophethood, and look at

her, subhan Allah. Similarly when children are scared, don’t say, ‘I’m right here, you can call me on

the mobile’, etc., you need to tell them about Allah (swt) and make them attach to Him – He is Al

Hayy Al Qayoom – The Ever-Living, The All-Sustainer.

It also shows Khadija (ra) was a Muslim even before the prophethood, she knew who is Allah (swt);

she is the wife of Prophet (ملسو هيلع هللا ىلص).

She didn’t underestimate her husband’s fear, she was caring about her feelings. If the husband

comes home feeling scared, the wife can mock him and say, ‘you’re a man and you’re scared, what a

joke’. But if a man comes to you and he’s scared, then it means he’s really scared. Khadija (ra) took

the Prophet’s words seriously; she didn’t take it as a mockery.

She told him the truth and said Allah (swt) will never disgrace you. So a complete woman will take

the word of her husband seriously. She’s not sitting there looking at her phone and then speaking

at the same time to her husband saying, ‘yeah ok then what happened?’. Keep in mind Khadija (ra)

had children as well; they weren’t just a couple alone. The husband is the priority before the

children. Our nature as a mother is to have motherhood feelings, but not ‘marriagehood’ feelings,

though it’s important you don’t neglect your husband.

Khadjia (ra) motivated him, gave him full-attention and accommodated him. You can see how some

of the complete women reached this high level not because of their worships, but because of their

behavior, especially when the husband is good. What else did she say?


She was praising his positive points and said it with truth, she wasn’t exaggerating. She also said it in

a time when he was weak. So she’s not going about praising him all the time. A complete woman

will see her husband’s positive points and mention them at the time of need. If a woman is always

praising her husband, then her praise at this moment of stress will not have an effect – he will

become immune to it. Or if she’s always praising him then it can make him proud.

If you see something negative in your husband, you need to remember ten positives about him. In a

hadith, the women need to give charity because of their ingratitude to their household, especially

their husbands: ( ق ن ثرك ن فإهن تصد م حطب أك رأة فقالته . " جهن ن ام ساءه سفهلةه مه عاء الن نه سف ي ه رس ول يا بهم ال خد ن " قال للا ثهر ت ك

كاة ن الش ف ر ير وتك ن فجعل ن . " ال عشه ع زه ن ين طه ن قالئهده نه وخواتهيمه ن وأق ر ف ذه به فهي يق ق ن بهالل ثو بههه يتصد ) ('Give charity, for

most of you are the fuel of Hell.' A lowly woman with dark cheeks said: 'Why, O Messenger of

Allah?' He said: 'You complain a great deal and are ungrateful to your husbands.' They started taking

off their necklaces, earrings and rings, throwing them into Bilal's garment, giving them in charity.") -

Sunan an-Nasa'i 1575

A complete woman sees the positive in her husband, not the negative. Women can be ungrateful

to their husbands, he could be always doing good, and if he slips once, then it’s as if all the good he

did is wiped out. In paradise, both you and your husband will be reformed without any faults. Who

doesn’t have any faults in their character? Remember that opposites complete each other. You

might find a wife expressive and romantic in her talk, while the husband is very quiet and doesn’t

reciprocate. Or you find the wife loves to go out, while the husband likes to stay at home. His

weakness reforms you and your weakness reforms him so taqwa is needed all the time. You are a

test for each other, but this test is to reform you. Then you can be both gathered in paradise

perfect.

Look at the positive points she mentioned, and this shows she truly knows him. She didn’t talk about

his looks, rather she talked about his good character. When someone is down, you can’t put them

down even more.

She said you connect with your family, you’re always visiting your relatives. You are truthful, you

never say lies. You help the disabled, you entertain the guests, and if anyone is in an affliction, you

help them out.

Her eyes are looking at the positive points of her husband. She was complete because she didn’t

underestimate him, or make fun of him; she connected him to Allah (swt) and praised him. So

think good about your husband in order to be a complete woman and tell him about his goodness

when in need. Don’t say, ‘I don’t want to tell him’.

( ذاقه الشر رأى من و له نمي الخير رأى من ) – when you think good about someone, then you will see this

good from them and there will be more. But if you think bad about someone then you’ll taste it,

meaning you’ll see it.

Never underestimate the woman, that’s why Islam gave so much honor and respect to the women.

All the rulings are for the benefit of the woman. When a woman inherits half, it’s exclusive for her

own use. But when the man takes double it’s because he needs to spend on his family, mother, and

sisters. So every woman is a queen in Islam. Once a person asked why can’t the lady touch the man

in Islam? He was told, ‘does anyone go and touch the queen?’ Then it was understood – a woman in

Islam is treated like a queen, honored and respected, not to be looked down upon.


After Khadija (ra) died, if the Prophet (ملسو هيلع هللا ىلص) would her a voice similar to hers, he would get affected

and remember his wife. Once he heard Khadija’a sister and it sounded like his wife and he was also

giving to her as a respect to his wife. Aisha (ra) wasonce jealous and said, ‘why do you remember

someone who died and was older and now she’s been replaced with someone younger?’ The

Prophet (ملسو هيلع هللا ىلص) said ( منها خيرا أبدلني ما وللا ال ) (By Allah, He didn’t replace me with someone better than

her), subhan Allah. He said ( الناس كفر حين بي آمنت ) she believed in me while everyone else denied me.

She was the first one to do wudhu with the Prophet (ملسو هيلع هللا ىلص) and she was the first one to pray with

him, even before Abu Bakr (ra). He said Allah (swt) gave me children with her, but not with the rest.

Aisha (ra) never talked about Khadija (ra) after that. The Prophet (ملسو هيلع هللا ىلص) said ( حبها رزقت ) – her love

was a provision for me. Though she was older and has passed away, he still loved her, subhan Allah.

This is true love, not an earthly love with desires, it’s a pure love. The Prophet (ملسو هيلع هللا ىلص) was so loyal to

her, even after she passed away.

Khadija (ra) then said, I will take you to Waraq bin Nowful, her cousin who is not from the

mushrikeen, but has knowledge of the Books. This shows she not only praised him, but she acted

and made a move. She took the Prophet (ملسو هيلع هللا ىلص) to someone who can really help him. Sometimes you

might choose someone that’s good for you or who will be on your side, but Khadija (ra) was just.

Khadija (ra) was a businesswoman before but after she married, she was a housewife. In Makkah,

they were the first Muslim household.

Hadith: ( رة أبهي عن ري يل أتى قال ـ عنه للا رضى ـ ه ره بهي جهب ه رس ول يا فقال وسلم عليه للا صلى الن هه للا يجة هذه معها أتت قد خده

ك ههي فإهذا شراب، أو طعام أو إهدام فهيهه إهناء رأ أتت ها فاق الم علي ن الس ها مه ن ي، رب ها ومه ت وبش ر ن ال جنةه فهي بهبي ، مه فهيهه صخب ال قصب

and said, "O Allah's (ملسو هيلع هللا ىلص) Narrated Abu Huraira (ra): Gabriel came to the Prophet) (. نصب وال

Messenger (ملسو هيلع هللا ىلص)! This is Khadija coming to you with a dish having meat soup (or some food or

drink). When she reaches you, greet her on behalf of her Lord (i.e. Allah) and on my behalf, and give

her the glad tidings of having a Qasab palace in Paradise wherein there will be neither any noise nor

any fatigue (trouble) . ") - Sahih al-Bukhari 3820

Jibreel (as) told the Prophet (ملسو هيلع هللا ىلص) Khadija (as) is now coming with some water, and when she

comes tell her Allah (swt) sends His salam to her and I too give salam to her. And give her glad

tidings of a house in paradise. Khadija (ra) didn’t ask for this, though Asiya asked because she was

being oppressed by her husband. Khadija (ra) was known for her support of the Prophet (ملسو هيلع هللا ىلص).

That’s why behind every great man is a great woman. May Allah (swt) give us paradise to see the

complete women. Ameen.

She established the first Muslim house in Quraish, so Allah (swt) gave her a house in paradise made

of hollowed pearl, and there is no noise or screaming and or tiredness – it’s a quiet house. Contrary

to the houses in the duniya which are full of noise and fatigue. May Allah (swt) grant us paradise.

Ameen.

Recap of what made Khadija (ra) complete:

o Respect and obeying the husband, without asking questions

o When commanded, she didn’t ask why

o Takes the word of her husband seriously

o See her husband’s positive points and mentions them at the time of need.


o Doesn’t underestimate him, or make fun of him; she connects him to Allah (swt) and praises

him

Maryam bint Imran – ( عمران بنت مريم )

The two previous women were both married – one married to the best of mankind and the other to

the worst of mankind. Maryam (as) was not married though she is a complete woman. Don’t think

that only married women can be complete. And from all of the complete women – Maryam bint

Imran is mentioned the most in the Quran, about 30 times. And an entire Surah is called ‘Maryam’,

after her.

She’s not married, she doesn’t have a husband, but Allah (swt) opened another door for her to be

complete.

The name ‘Maryam’ means the female worshipper, devotee ( الزاهده العابده، ). We can find her story

mentioned in the Quran.

Surah Al Imran 35-37: ( ن ى ل مه ا فتقب ر مرٲن رب إهن ى نذرت لك ما فهى بطنهى م حر يع ٱلعلهيم إهذ قالته ٱمرأت عه مه ا ( ٣٥) إهنك أنت ٱلس فلم

كر كٱل نثى وضعتہا قالت رب إهن ى وضعت ہا أ نثى و يت ہا مريم و ٱلل أعلم بهما وضعت وليس ٱلذ نه وإهن ى سم ـ يط ن ٱلش تها مه ي ر ها بهك وذ

يذ إهن ى أ عه

جهيمه ا وكف ( ٣٣)ٱلر ها بهقب ول حسن وأنبتها نباتا حسن لها رب افتقب ي ا لها زكره زق ندها ره حراب وجد عه ا ٱلمه ي لما دخل عليها زكره مريم أنى ق ك ـ ال ي

ذا ـ ه لكه ه نده ٱلل ن عه و مه يره حهساب قالت ه ق من يشاء به يرز (٣٣) إهن ٱلل ) ((Remember) when the wife of 'Imrân said: "O

my Lord! I have vowed to You what (the child that) is in my womb to be dedicated for Your services (free

from all worldly work; to serve Your Place of worship), so accept this, from me. Verily, You are the All-

Hearer, the All-Knowing." (35) Then when she gave birth to her [child Maryam (Mary)], she said: "O my

Lord! I have given birth to a female child," - and Allâh knew better what she brought forth, - "And the

male is not like the female, and I have named her Maryam (Mary), and I seek refuge with You (Allâh) for

her and for her offspring from Shaitan (Satan), the outcast." (36) So her Lord (Allâh) accepted her with

goodly acceptance. He made her grow in a good manner and put her under the care of Zakariyâ

(Zachariya). Every time he entered Al-Mihrâb[] to (visit) her , he found her supplied with sustenance. He

said: "O Maryam (Mary)! From where have you got this?" She said, "This is from Allâh." Verily, Allâh

provides sustenance to whom He wills, without limit." (37))

Her story began when her mother was pregnant with her – the wife of Imran. It is said when

Maryam was born, her father had already died. Her mother made a dua’a saying: My Rabb,

whatever is in my womb, then I will devote it to You. They used to do this before. When she gave

birth, she said I have given birth to a girl. Allah (swt) knows what she has, and a male devotee is

different from a female devotee. But because I made a vow, I will call her Maryam, which means

worshipper, and I seek refuge in Allah (swt) from the shaitan from touching her and her offspring.

Allah (swt) accepted her dua’a and He accepted Maryam to be a devotee and to be exclusive for

Him, subhan Allah. You see how Allah (swt) removed any worldly attachment from Maryam. Like a

seed, she was taken care of by Allah (swt), and He made her to grow. Zachariah (ra) took charge of

her, and he is the husband of Maryam’s aunt.

What made her a complete woman? Zachariah (ra) would always come to her place to give her

provision because she doesn’t go out, rather she is worshipping. And every time he would go to her,

he would always find some provision with her, subhan Allah. And some scholars said she would even


have provision that is out of season, subhan Allah. And this shows when you devote yourself to Allah

(swt), then Allah (swt) will provide you. Her devotion and worship to Allah (swt) made her

complete. Everyone is different depending on what’s decreed for them. When Zachariah (as) asked

her, ‘where did you get this from?’ She said, ‘it’s from Allah’, and this is what’s important. ‘Allah

gives provision without account’. She’s focused on worshipping Allah (swt), not getting provision.

She’s complete because she’s relying on Allah (swt) for rizq.

Maryam (as) was single and who said a complete woman needs to be married? Allah (swt) praised

her and mentioned her name 30 times in the Quran. She is also the mother of a prophet – Eisa (as),

and she has a miracle which no one has ever had. Allah (swt) knows what each person can handle.

Maryam’s father passed away, and the one taking charge of her was Zachariah (as). Did he tell her to

go and work and provide for herself? No. Before Zachariah (as) came to provide her, Allah (swt) is

already providing her with no limit, no hisab. People think everything is hisbad – you work and you

will get provision. But Maryam (as) is not working and she’s provided, subhan Allah. Allah (swt) is

giving her before Zachariah (as). When you’re serving Allah (swt), Allah (swt) will give you from

where you can’t imagine. What you think about Allah (swt) is how He will deal with you – if you

think He will give you without limit, then He will. The shaitan makes you think ‘I’m not working, I

don’t have a husband’ so how will I be provided? Allah (swt) provided Maryam with no hisab. She

was complete because she was not stressed; she knows Allah (swt) will provide her with no hisab.

Surah Al Imran 42-43: ( لمه ـ كه على نهساءه ٱلع كه وطهركه وٱصطفٮ ٱصطفٮ مريم إهن ٱلل ـ ٮ هڪة ي ـ مريم ٱقن تهى لهرب كه ( ٤٢)ين وإهذ قالته ٱلمل ـ ي

ين عه ٲكه ى مع ٱلر ى وٱركعه ده (٤٣)وٱسج ) (And (remember) when the angels said: "O Maryam (Mary)! Verily, Allâh

has chosen you, purified you (from polytheism and disbelief), and chosen you above the women of the

'Alamîn (mankind and jinn)." (42) O Mary! "Submit yourself with obedience to your Lord (Allâh, by

worshipping none but Him Alone) and prostrate yourself, and Irkâ'i (bow down) along with Ar-Râki'ûn

(those who bow down)." (43))

Maryam (as) was receiving worldly provision, but now she’s receiving inspirations from the angels.

Allah (swt) chose her from everyone and this shows Allah (swt) chooses whomever He wills, and she

is a role model for all ladies of the world. We need to take her as an example. People like role

models and Maryam (as) is the role model for women, subhan Allah. What made her to be a role

model? She’s a pure and chaste woman – she’s guarding her honor. The more you are guarding

your chastity and honor, the more you are complete. It’s not the other way around where the more

open you are, the more you have value. Allah (swt) made Maryam (as) a devotee, provided her

provision, and purified her. This makes her complete.

Allah (swt) chose her over all of women – her position is very high. She’s focused on worshipping

Allah (swt) and guarding her chastity. What is she commanded to do? ( لربك اقنتي ) – devote yourself to

your Rabb, this is her completeness. For Asiya, her strength is through patience, for Khadija (ra) is

through her support to her husband, and for Maryam (as) it’s through her devotion. Islam gives so

much honor to the lady and the lady has strength because society depends on the woman. Who can

face the tyrant? A woman. Who can support the messenger? A woman. Maraym’s strength is her

devotion. As a single woman, your strength is when you devote yourself to Allah (swt) and guard

your honor. How will she be a devotee? Increase in the prayer and worship.


People bring negativity it you’re not married, but whatever Allah (swt) decrees for you is the best.

Allah (swt) honored Maryam (as) by having an entire surah named after her, subhan Allah.

Surah Maryam 16-21: ( ا ا شرقهي ن أهلهها مكان به مريم إهذه ٱنتبذت مه ـ ت وحنا ( ١٣)وٱذك ر فهى ٱلكه ا فأرسلنا إهليها ر م حهجاب ونههه ن د خذت مه فٱت

ا ي ا سوهل لها بشر نك ( ١٣)فتمث نه مه ـ حم بهٱلر

وذ ا قالت إهن ى أع هب ( ١١)إهن ك نت تقهي ول رب كه له ما أنا رس ا قال إهن ي ا زڪه م ـ ل قالت ( ١١)لكه غ

ا ي ه م ولم يمسسنهى بشر ولم أك ب ـ ل ن ( ٢٢)أنى يك ون لهى غ و على هي ا قال كذٲلهكه قال ربكه ه ن م ل لناسه ورحمة

ا وكان أمر ولهنجعله ۥ ءاية

ا ي قضه (٢١)م ) (And mention in the Book (the Qur'ân, O Muhammad ملسو هيلع هللا ىلص , the story of) Maryam (Mary),

when she withdrew in seclusion from her family to a place facing east (16) She placed a screen (to

screen herself) from them; then We sent to her Our Ruh [angel Jibril (Gabriel)], and he appeared before

her in the form of a man in all respects. (17) She said: "Verily! I seek refuge with the Most Gracious

(Allâh) from you, if you do fear Allâh." (18) (The angel) said: "I am only a messenger from your Lord, (to

announce) to you the gift of a righteous son." (19) She said: "How can I have a son, when no man has

touched me, nor am I unchaste?" (20) He said: "So (it will be), your Lord said: 'That is easy for Me (Allâh):

And (We wish) to appoint him as a sign to mankind and a mercy from Us (Allâh), and it is a matter

(already) decreed, (by Allâh).' " (21))

Maryam (as) was devoted and focused in worship. Allah (swt) chooses whomever He wills to be a

devotee. A complete woman doesn’t expose herself – she guards her chastity. She took a veil. When

there are paintings of Maryam, you see her with a hijab. People think hijab is just linked to Arabs,

but Maryam (as) is the role model of wearing the hijab, subhan Allah.

For Maryam (as), Allah (swt) sent Jibreel as a test for her and he didn’t come in the form of an angel

but in the form of a perfect man. Imagine Maryam (as) is alone, she’s has a hijab, she’s devoting

herself and a handsome man appears, subhan Allah. What was her reaction? She said, ‘I seek refuge

with Ar Rahman if you have taqwa’. She didn’t say, ‘who are you? What’s your name?’. She is a

chaste woman and she didn’t put herself in the fitna. The hijab is a barrier and even if the fitna

comes, she is firm on it – she is a pure woman. An opposite example is Yusuf (as) who was very

handsome that the women would lose their mind. The man cannot wear a hijab, but the women had

no modesty and they were cutting their hands looking at him. He can’t wear a hijab, but wished to

be in jail as a protection, subhan Allah. The complete woman is a chaste woman protecting herself

from fitna. In paradise there is no hijab because everyone’s heart is good, no one will look at you up

and down and make you feel uncomfortable, no one will compare your ‘shape’, subhan Allah. In this

life, not everyone is good, but in paradise everyone is pure. May Allah (swt) admit us to paradise.

Ameen. In paradise, your servants are even handsome boys.

Jibreel (as) identified himself and said ‘I am a messenger of Allah (swt)’. Angels don’t have desires,

unlike humans and jinn. There are no men in the study circles, but there are angels, and before you

go to the bathroom, you seek refuge in Allah (swt) from the male and female shayateen because

they have desires, subhan Allah.

Jibreel (as) told her you will be given a pure son. Imagine she is a chaste woman, but this son is a

provision from Allah (swt) to her. She said ‘no human has touched me’ and this shows a chaste

woman even speaks with mildness, she is not indecent or explicit in her speech to talk about a

relation. Your beauty is when you guard your honor, you are like a pearl in a shell, protected from

the ‘dirt’ outside. She is so shy she said ‘no human’ (بشر) touched me, she didn’t even say ‘no man’


) :she’s so modest to say ‘man’, subhan Allah. Hadith ,(رجل) رة، أبهي عن ري بهي عنه ه " قال وسلم عليه للا صلى الن

بة ال حياء ن ش ع -said: "Modesty (Al (ملسو هيلع هللا ىلص) It was narrated from Abu Hurairah that: The Prophet) ( الهيمانه مه

Haya') is a branch of Faith.") - Sunan an-Nasa'i 5006 Modesty doesn’t come in a night and day, it

comes as the faith increases. Maryam (as) also said ‘I am not a woman who transgressed’ because

you can have a child either through halal or haram means. She’s not married, nor is she having illicit

relations. It’s important for girls to know who is Maryam (as) because she is the complete woman,

and it’s not what people say, but what Allah (swt) said about her. She is a complete and beautiful

woman because of her modest and decent language.

Maryam (as) conceived, but Allah (swt) still guarded her chastity from the way she conceived and

delivered – this is her miracle, this is not possible for anyone else. She got conceived by Jibreel (as)

blowing into her sleeve – such a pure manner. And when she delivered, she was far away from

everyone, she was alone, no nurse or mother – her awra is away from the eyes of the people. Allah

(swt) wants to protect her, subhan Allah.

Surah Maryam 22-29: ( ا ي ا قصه ذا وڪ نت ( ٢٢)فحملته فٱنتبذت بهههۦ مكان ـ ت قبل ه ليتنهى مه ـ خلةه قالت ي فأجاءها ٱلمخاض إهلى جهذعه ٱلن

ا ي نسه ا م ن تحتهہا أال تحزنهى قد جع ( ٢٣)نسي ها مه ا ل ربكه فنادٮ ي ا ( ٢٤)تحتكه سره ا جنهي طب قهط عليكه ر ـ خلةه ت س ى إهليكه بهجهذعه ٱلنلهى ( ٢٥)وه ز فك

ا ى عين ا ف وٱشربهى وقر نه صوم ـ حم ا فق ولهى إهن ى نذرت لهلرن ٱلبشره أحد ا تريهن مه ا لن أ ڪ فإهم ي ل ه ۥ( ٢٣)ل م ٱليوم إهنسه قال وا فأتت بهههۦ قومها تحمه

ا ي ا فرهمريم لقد جهئته شيـ ـ ا ( ٢٣)ي ي ه ون ما كان أب وكه ٱمرأ سوء وما كانت أ مكه ب ر ـ أ خت ه ـ قال وا كيف ن كل م من كان فهى ليهه فأشارت إه ( ٢١)ي

ا (٢١)ٱلمهده صبهي ) (So she conceived him, and she withdrew with him to a far place (i.e. Bethlehem valley

about 4-6 miles from Jerusalem). (22) And the pains of childbirth drove her to the trunk of a date-palm.

She said: "Would that I had died before this, and had been forgotten and out of sight!" (23) Then [the

babe 'Īsā (Jesus) or Jibril (Gabriel)] cried unto her from below her, saying: "Grieve not! Your Lord has

provided a water stream under you; (24) "And shake the trunk of date-palm towards you, it will let fall

fresh ripe-dates upon you." (25) "So eat and drink and be glad, And if you see any human being, say:

'Verily! I have vowed a fast unto the Most Gracious (Allâh) so I shall not speak to any human being this

day.'" (26) Then she brought him (the baby) to her people, carrying him. They said: "O Mary! Indeed you

have brought a thing Fariyy (a mighty thing). (27) "O sister (i.e. the like) of Hârûn (Aaron)! Your father

was not a man who used to commit adultery, nor your mother was an unchaste woman." (28) Then she

pointed to him. They said: "How can we talk to one who is a child in the cradle?" (29))

The second phase of her life was when she conceived. She was stressed of what people would think

and accuse her when they see her with a child. She’s a chaste woman, she’s never been exposed to

a man, and now she’s pregnant. The challenge she went through made her a complete woman. She

went far away because she was shy, though what she has is a miracle. She didn’t go around for

people to see her ‘miracle’. What did she do in the time of delivery? She had no one with her and

when labor pain came, she didn’t have anyone or food.

People know her as a devotee but she’s afraid to be seen in this manner, not because she’s doing

things for the people, but she’s afraid to be a cause of fitna for the people – that’s why she wished

to die. Maryam (as) asked to die but not Asiya. Maryam (as) didn’t wish to die because she can’t

bear the pain, but because of the fitna of the people. What she went through no one can handle,

that’s why Allah (swt) chose her over all women. So anything we go through is nowhere compared

to what she went through.


Maryam (as) was worshipping Allah (swt) in seclusion and now she is in another phase of worship by

being patient on this decree. You need to believe Allah (swt) will never leave His slaves. Allah (swt)

brought the support to her when in distress. Never lose hope because Allah (swt) will always be with

you. How did support come to her?

A caller called her from underneath because she’s weak, stressed and sad. She’s looking down, and

when someone is sad, come down to them. She was told to look at the river. You need to believe

when you go through any distress to never lose hope. Don’t say, ‘why me?’. How can you overcome

sadness? It’s not wrong to be sad, but look at the positive things around you. Keep sadness round in

a circle, don’t let it spread out. When you’re alone look at the positive things, look at the bigger

picture because there’s always a ‘river’. When you have a problem, go to the sea, go to the beach,

look at the moon, go to the mountains, look at the good things around you. You are very precious to

Allah (swt), ‘don’t be sad’. Your feelings make you complete. It’s not good for the woman to be sad.

The complete woman controls her sadness and emotions. You might say, but ‘I’m sad’ – look at the

good things around you. When you’re sad then the shaitan has power over you.

What else should she do to overcome sadness? The complete woman is active. Maryam (as) was

told to shake the trunk of the tree. When you sit around and think then it just gets worse because

the shaitan comes and plays bad scenarios in your mind. May Allah (swt) protect us from any type of

depression. Ameen. It’s normal to feel sad, but how do we overcome it? Look at the good things

around you and be active. Allah (swt) didn’t tell her to go pray and fast, though she’s a devotee,

subhan Allah.

Now Maryam (as) needs to work for her provision. When she was a devotee, the provision was

coming to her, but in the time of sadness and sorrow, you would think now she needs more than

ever to have the provision come to her and Allah (swt) is able to do it, but this time she has to work

for it. Ladies can fall into post-partum depression after delivery because they’re being told to sit and

not do anything. But with Maryam (as) working to get her provision makes her overcome this period

after delivering. People in depression need to feel useful and do something. She can’t shake the

tree, but she needs to do something. The dates will fall, though it’s not because of her shaking.

When you’re sad, then you should eat and drink, but don’t eat or drink too much when you’re

happy. You need to eat and drink when sad to gain strength, though you don’t have the desire for it.

The case of Maryam (as) is relatable to every woman because whether married or not, we all go

through difficulties.

In times of problems, don’t speak. A complete woman shouldn’t speak when she’s sad because she

can say something wrong. Maryam (as) signalled that she made a vow to not speak. When in a

problem, don’t speak because you can be misunderstood. When you speak to anyone about your

problems, it will get worse because either they will panic and advise you wrongly or they react the

other way and say ‘it’s no big deal’ – ‘is that your problem?’. Whatever Allah (swt) gives you is what

you can bear because others will either be restless or they’ll underestimate you, and it’ll just make

you sadder than before.

Who will speak on Maryam’s behalf? Her son Eisa (as). When you don’t speak, Allah (swt) will bring

someone to speak on your behalf. Hadith: The Prophet (ملسو هيلع هللا ىلص) said: ( احه على استعينوا ؛ بالكتمانه الحوائهجه إنج )

(Seek help in Allah (swt) to fulfill your needs in private) – Sahih Aj Jam’iee 943, Authenticated by


Albani as Sahih. You don’t need to announce your problems to everyone. It’s better to deal with

your problems secretly so that you’re not confused with other’s viewpoints. Allah (swt) knows what

you can bear and Maryam (as) went what she went through in order to be elevated. A complete

woman is not the woman who spreads her news or tells everyone her problems. The complete

woman overcomes her sadness; you are responsible for your happiness with the help of Allah

(swt). We get sad wanting someone else to come and remove our sadness, we think our sadness will

go away if our husband takes us out, but we’re responsible for our happiness.

Surah At Tahreem 12: ( مرٲن ٱبنت ومريم ن فهيهه فنفخنا فرجها أحصنت ٱلتهى عه وحهنا مه قت ر ته وصد ـ ہا بهكلهم ت بهههۦ رب ن وكانت وك مه

نهتهين ـ And Maryam (Mary), the daughter of 'Imrân who guarded her chastity; and We breathed into) (ٱلق

(the sleeve of her shirt or her garment) through Our Rûh [i.e. Jibril (Gabriel)], and she testified to the

truth of the Words of her Lord [i.e. believed in the Words of Allâh: "Be!" and he was; that is 'Īsā (Jesus)

son of Maryam (Mary) as a Messenger of Allâh], and (also believed in) His Scriptures, and she was of the

Qanitun (i.e. obedient to Allâh).)

Maryam (as) guarded her chastity and honor and she was of the devotees.

Recap of what made Maryam (as) a complete woman:

o Her devotion and worship to Allah (swt) made her complete.

o She’s complete because she’s relying on Allah (swt) for rizq. She knows Allah (swt) will

provide her with no hisab.

o The complete woman is a chaste woman protecting herself from fitna.

o She is a complete and beautiful woman because of her modest and decent language.

o The complete woman controls her sadness and emotions.

o The complete woman is active.

o A complete woman is not the woman who spreads her news or tells everyone her problems.

The complete woman overcomes her sadness; you are responsible for your happiness with

the help of Allah (swt).

Fatima bint Mohammed (ملسو هيلع هللا ىلص) ( وسلم عليه هللا صلى محمد بنت فاطمة )

The word ‘Fatima’ comes from (فطم) – which means protection from the hellfire, subhan Allah.

Fatima is the youngest daughter of the Prophet (ملسو هيلع هللا ىلص) and she is the most beloved to him. This

shows you that love is from Allah (swt), it’s not in your hands.

She had another name – (الزهراء) – the flower. As if she’s the flower of the Prophet (ملسو هيلع هللا ىلص).

She was born one or two years before the prophethood.

The year of grief was when Kadija (ra) passed away, so who was taking care of the Prophet (ملسو هيلع هللا ىلص)?

Fatima (ra) because all the other daughters were married.

The other title given to her was ( أبيها أم ) – ‘mother of her father’ because she used to take care of him

until he died. Even her walk was similar to his, subhan Allah. She was complete because she was

taking care of her father. Fatima went through different stages as a daughter, wife, and mother.

The Prophet (ملسو هيلع هللا ىلص) was praying in the Ka’aba and the disbelievers of Quraish were making fun of

him and were challenging each other to put dirt between his shoulders. While the Prophet (ملسو هيلع هللا ىلص)


was prostrating, a man put this dirt on him. When the Prophet (ملسو هيلع هللا ىلص) got up, the dirt fell and he

remained quiet. Fatima (ra) saw this, removed the dirt from his back, and she talked back at them,

though she was young.

After Khadija (ra) passed away, the Prophet (ملسو هيلع هللا ىلص) was told to marry someone in order to take care

of him. He married Sawda (ra), she was an old ‘motherly’ woman, and Fatima (ra) agreed to this.

After the Battle of Badr, many people proposed to her from Abu Bakr (ra), Omar (ra) – who were all

rich companions. But there was one who was shy to propose to her because he was poor – Ali bin

Abi Talib (ra) – the cousin of the Prophet (ملسو هيلع هللا ىلص).

The Prophet (ملسو هيلع هللا ىلص) agreed to Ali (ra) and so she agreed, though he was poor. A complete woman

loves her father, is dutiful to him, wants the happiness of her father, defends him and accepts

what he wills. The other sisters of Fatima (ra) married those who were rich, while she the most

beloved married someone poor, though she is the most complete woman, subhan Allah.

Fatima (ra) had a very difficult life with him, they had one blanket that didn’t even cover their body

entirely. If they pulled it up, it would show their feet. Yet she still lived with him without

complaining. She worked with her own hands, though in her father’s house, they had servants. She

is the daughter of a messenger, subhan Allah.

She didn’t say, ‘come live in my father’s house’. She lived with her husband and what he gave her,

and this makes her complete. She would do the entire housework on her own without even asking

for a servant. Once Ali (ra) saw her hands cracked and she became very thin, and after a battle there

was so much booty, so Ali (ra) told Fatima (ra) to go ask her father the Prophet (ملسو هيلع هللا ىلص) for a servant.

When she went to the Prophet (ملسو هيلع هللا ىلص), he didn’t allow it and Fatima (ra) didn’t complain. She want

back home and while they were sleeping, the Prophet (ملسو هيلع هللا ىلص) came to them while sleeping which

they didn’t expect. They wanted to welcome him but he told them to remain as they are. The

Prophet (ملسو هيلع هللا ىلص) said, ‘what did you ask me today?’ They said ‘a servant’. He said I will tell you

something better than a servant. Before you sleep, ‘say subhan Allah 33 times, alhamdulliah 33

times, and Allahu akbar 34 times’ so a total of 100. When you do this before you sleep, then it’s

better for you than a servant. Hadith: ( ث نه علهي عن ي حد ، أبهي ب مة أن طالهب ها ـ فاطه الم علي بهي أتته ـ الس للا صلى الن

أل ه وسلم عليه ما تس كه أال " فقال خاده بهر خ و ما أ ر ه ه ، لكه خي ن ت سب حهين مه د للا ن ين وثالثهين، ثالثا كه منامه عه مده وتح وثالثهين، ثالثا للا

ين وت كب ره بعا للا وثالثهين أر ) (Narrated `Ali bin Abi Talib (ra): Fatima came to the Prophet (ملسو هيلع هللا ىلص) asking for a

servant. He said, "May I inform you of something better than that? When you go to bed, recite

"Subhan Allah' thirty three times, 'Al hamduli l-lah' thirty three times, and 'Allahu Akbar' thirty four

times.) - Sahih al-Bukhari 5362 Sometimes you have ten servants and nothing gets done. From that

time onwards, Fatima (ra) would say this dua’a and she would accomplish all the work better than if

she had a servant. Even when you have a servant, you have to tell them what to do, etc. You need to

believe in Allah (swt). The complete woman does not complain or nag her husband. Fatima (ra)

didn’t even ask for the servant, Ali (ra) suggested it to her.

Ali (ra) had a tough nature and he used to be a little bit hard on her. When he would be too hard on

her, she would go to the Prophet (ملسو هيلع هللا ىلص) and complain to him. He would not take sides, but he would

come to solve the issue between the two of them together. You really see they were living life –

don’t expect their lives to be perfect. A complete woman doesn’t mean she has a complete life; it’s

how she overcomes the cracks in her life.


All of the wives of the Prophet (ملسو هيلع هللا ىلص) knew Fatima (ra) had a special position with her father, so

they would send her when they wanted something, though the Prophet (ملسو هيلع هللا ىلص) was just.

Before the Prophet (ملسو هيلع هللا ىلص) passed away, he was talking secretly to Fatima (ra) and Aisha (ra) could

see but couldn’t hear. Fatima (ra) cried so much and then the Prophet (ملسو هيلع هللا ىلص) said something to her

and she laughed so much. Aisha (ra) wanted to know what did the Prophet (ملسو هيلع هللا ىلص) say to make her

cry and then laugh? Fatima (ra) said ‘I’m not the one to spread the secret of the Prophet (ملسو هيلع هللا ىلص)’.

This remained in Aisha’s mind. When the Prophet (ملسو هيلع هللا ىلص) passed away, Aisha (ra) asked her again.

Now Fatima (ra) can say since the Prophet (ملسو هيلع هللا ىلص) passed away. She said, he told her Jibreel (as)

would come to him every Ramadan to revise the Quran once, but this time he revised the Quran

twice with him, so he said ‘I see my end coming’. So she cried because he would die. And then Aisha

(ra) asked why did you laugh? She said, he told me would you be pleased to be leader of the woman

of paradise and you will be the first of my household to follow me – so she laughed.

After the death of the Prophet (ملسو هيلع هللا ىلص), Fatima (ra) passed away after six months, subhan Allah. She

was very young in her twenties.

Fatima (ra) had so much modesty, that even before she died, she and her friend Asma (ra) saw a

funeral procession, and Fatima (ra) felt sad. She was worried men would see her body shape while

shrouded and carried, subhan Allah. This is when she’s dead, no one has interest in someone dead,

so what about when alive? Subhan Allah.

Her friend Asma (ra) remembered while migrating to the habasha, the women would have a canopy

over the body in order to not show the shape, so Fatima (ra) said do this for me, subhan Allah. This

shows her chasity. It was Fatima’s wish to be washed by her husband Ali (ra) and her friend Asma

(ra). And then Asma (ra) married Ali (ra). And later Abu Bakr (ra). It is said she was a blessed woman

for having married three Companions, subhan Allah.

Recap of what made Fatima (ra) a complete woman:

o A complete woman loves her father, is dutiful to him, wants the happiness of her father,

defends him and accepts what he wills.

o She lived with her husband and what he gave her, and this makes her complete.

o The complete woman does not complain or nag her husband

o A complete woman doesn’t mean she has a complete life; it’s how she overcomes the cracks

in her life.

May Allah (swt) help us apply what we learned and grant us paradise and see the complete women.

Ameen.

four complete women (تلاماك ءاسن - sistersnotes · many men are messengers who are...

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