25˛years˛of˛the˛bilingual˛family˛newsletter editorial ... 25-4.pdf ·...

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news and views for intercultural people editors: sami grover and marjukka grover editorial IN THIS ISSUE 2008 Volume 25 Number 4 It's a little strange editing an article by my own mother – the temptation to revenge those long nights she spent correcting our Finnish homework may be a little too great. But I have to say that I found Marjukka's article as illuminating as it was moving. I have always been profoundly grateful for the linguistic gifts my parents have given me, and for the service they have shown to others in starting Multilingual Matters and the BFN. Yet I still slip into the assumption occasionally that bilingualism is just the norm these days - or at least that it is not questioned in the way that it used to be. Yet you only have to look at Cecilia Gomez's letter to realise that prejudice and mistrust still persists in many parts of the world, or read Iman Laversuch's article on homesickness to understand that intercultural living is far from pain free. Now that I find myself living in the US, a country whose main language I speak (albeit somewhat differently!), I am beginning to understand the very subtle, yet challenging, cultural norms that the intercultural person is confronted with every day. These challenges are both a curse and a blessing - and can bring joy and exhilaration or pain and alienation - depending on how they are approached. But I am certain, as with most things in life, they prove themselves so much more rewarding when faced together. With your support the BFN can continue to ensure that we are not alone. Sami Grover 25 years of the Bilingual Family Newsletter Marjukka Grover As we come to the end of the BFN's 25th year of existence, I think it is time to tell the story of how it all began. I suppose it started when I met Mike, my English husband, one beautiful Finnish midsummer night in 1971. We fell in love and embarked on the exciting journey of an intercultural marriage. To be able to keep in close contact with my family back in Finland, we needed longer holidays and more freedom to live our lives on a timetable decided by us. Publishing was Mike’s chosen career, and therefore to be our own “bosses” it was natural for us to start a publishing business - publishing research material for universities. Back in the late 1970s, when our children were born, there was very little material available on bilingualism and multiculturalism, yet there was a large amount of immigration in many countries. Research had been published on bilingualism which indicated that it was not a good idea to speak two languages to children, as results apparently showed that they were not doing so well in school. Unsurprisingly to bilingualism advocates, that research has since been dismissed as not taking into account the children’s social and economic background. It was against these unfounded prejudices towards bilingualism that we had to battle when we decided that our sons would become bilingual Finnish/ English. My emotional language was Finnish, and I could not imagine speaking English to my beautiful boys. English even now, after 36 years in this country, is a foreign language to me – despite the fact that I love it and love England. The other very important reason for bilingualism was that my parents didn’t speak English. I couldn’t have denied them the pleasure of conversing with their grandchildren in Finnish on our twice yearly visits to Finland. Luckily my mother-in-law in Back in the late 1970s, when our children were born, there was very little material available on bilingualism and multiculturalism... Continued on page two The Grover family in summer 2008 - 25 years of the BFN - The Long Way Home, Part II - Notes from the OPOL Family - Intercultural Citizenship - Speaking Spanish in the US

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Page 1: 25˛years˛of˛the˛Bilingual˛Family˛Newsletter editorial ... 25-4.pdf · available˙on˙bilingualism˙and multiculturalism,˙yet˙there˙was˙a˙large ... worldwide communication

news and views for intercultural people editors: sami grover and marjukka grover

editorial

IN THISISSUE

2008Volume�25Number�4

It's�a�little�strange�editing�an�article�bymy�own�mother�–�the�temptation�torevenge�those�long�nights�she�spentcorrecting�our�Finnish�homework�maybe�a�little�too�great.�But�I�have�to�saythat�I�found�Marjukka's�article�asilluminating�as�it�was�moving.

I have always been profoundly grateful forthe linguistic gifts my parents have givenme, and for the service they have shown toothers in starting Multilingual Matters andthe BFN. Yet I still slip into the assumptionoccasionally that bilingualism is just thenorm these days - or at least that it is notquestioned in the way that it used to be.

Yet you only have to look at CeciliaGomez's letter to realise that prejudice andmistrust still persists in many parts of theworld, or read Iman Laversuch's article onhomesickness to understand thatintercultural living is far from pain free.

Now�that�I�find�myself�living�in�the�US,a�country�whose�main�language�I�speak(albeit�somewhat�differently!),�I�ambeginning�to�understand�the�very�subtle,yet�challenging,�cultural�norms�that�theintercultural�person�is�confronted�withevery�day.

These�challenges�are�both�a�curse�and�ablessing�-�and�can�bring�joy�andexhilaration�or�pain�and�alienation�-depending�on�how�they�are�approached.But�I�am�certain,�as�with�most�things�inlife,�they�prove�themselves�so�muchmore�rewarding�when�faced�together.With�your�support�the�BFN�cancontinue�to�ensure�that�we�are�not�alone.

Sami�Grover

25�years�of�the�Bilingual�Family�Newsletter

Marjukka�Grover

As�we�come�to�the�end�of�the�BFN's�25thyear�of�existence,�I�think�it�is�time�to�tellthe�story�of�how�it�all�began.

I�suppose�it�started�when�I�met�Mike,�myEnglish�husband,�one�beautiful�Finnishmidsummer�night�in�1971.�We�fell�in�loveand�embarked�on�the�exciting�journey�of�anintercultural�marriage.�To�be�able�to�keepin�close�contact�with�my�family�back�inFinland,�we�needed�longer�holidays�andmore�freedom�to�live�our�lives�on�atimetable�decided�by�us.��Publishing�wasMike’s�chosen�career,�and�therefore�to�beour�own�“bosses”�it�was�natural�for�us�tostart�a�publishing�business�-�publishingresearch�material�for�universities.

Back�in�the�late�1970s,�when�our�childrenwere�born,�there�was�very�little�materialavailable�on�bilingualism�andmulticulturalism,�yet�there�was�a�largeamount�of�immigration�in�many�countries.Research�had�been�published�onbilingualism�which�indicated�that�it�was�not

a�good�idea�to�speak�two�languages�tochildren,�as�results�apparently�showed�thatthey�were�not�doing�so�well�in�school.Unsurprisingly�to�bilingualism�advocates,that�research�has�since�been�dismissed�asnot�taking�into�account�the�children’ssocial�and�economic�background.

It�was�against�these�unfounded�prejudicestowards�bilingualism�that�we�had�to�battlewhen�we�decided�that�our�sons�wouldbecome�bilingual�Finnish/�English.�Myemotional�language�was�Finnish,�and�Icould�not�imagine�speaking�English�to�mybeautiful�boys.�English�even�now,�after�36

years�in�this�country,�is�a�foreign�languageto�me�–�despite�the�fact�that�I�love�it�andlove�England.�The�other�very�importantreason�for�bilingualism�was�that�myparents�didn’t�speak�English.�I�couldn’thave�denied�them�the�pleasure�ofconversing�with�their�grandchildren�inFinnish�on�our�twice�yearly�visits�toFinland.�Luckily�my�mother-in-law�in

Back�in�the�late�1970s,�whenour�children�were�born,there�was�very�littlematerial�available�onbilingualism�andmulticulturalism...

Continued�on�page�two

The�Grover�family�in�summer�2008

-�25�years�of�the�BFN-�The�Long�Way�Home,�Part�II-�Notes�from�the�OPOL�Family-�Intercultural�Citizenship-�Speaking�Spanish�in�the�US

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England�gave�us�her�full�support�as�sheknew�only�too�well�the�challenges�ofbilingualism,�coming�from�aWelsh-speaking�family�and�speaking�only�alimited�amount�of�Welsh�herself.

To�prove�that�we�were�not�harming�ourchildren,�and�to�calm�any�fears�that�some�ofour�friends�and�relatives�had,�we�weredesperate�to�find�research-based�evidenceon�bilingual�upbringing.�Havingestablished�the�publishing�firm�a�few�yearsearlier,�we�started�deliberately�looking�formaterial�on�bilingualism�andmulticulturalism.�To�our�surprise�there�wasplenty�available,�but�it�was�often�publishedin�research�journals�which�did�notspecialise�in�the�subject.�As�far�as�we�knewthere�was�no�publishing�house�specialisingin�multilingualism�and�multiculturalism,yet�immigration�was�common�in�mostwestern�countries�and�a�large�part�of�theworld�population�spoke�two�or�morelanguages�daily.�We�had�found�a�nichemarket,�and�the�firm�Multilingual�Matterswas�born.

The�material�we�published�(and�still�do)was�academic�research,�and�therefore�notso�easy�to�read�for�a�lay�reader�not�familiarwith�the�subject.�In�1983�we�published�abook Bilingual�Children:�Guidance�for�theFamily by�Australian�researcher�GeorgeSaunders,�who�had�studied�his�ownchildren’s�simultaneous�acquisition�ofEnglish�and�German.�George�was�theGerman�speaker�in�the�family,�although�heis�not�a�native�German.�His�love�for�the

German�language�made�him�study�it�at�thehighest�level�and�teach�it�in�a�university.When�the�book�was�published�it�received�along�and�very�positive�review�in TheGuardian, one�of�the�leading�Britishnewspapers.�In�the�weeks�after�the�reviewour�post�box�was�inundated�with�lettersfrom�parents�wanting�to�know�more�abouthow�to�raise�children�bilingually.�Some�ofthe�letters�were�“cries�for�help”,�making�usrealise�that�we�were�not�the�only�parents�inneed�of�correct�information�onbilingualism.�The�idea�was�born�for�a

quarterly�newsletter,�which�would�coverthe�latest�research�on�bilingualism�writtenin�a�readable,�non-academic�style.�The�firstissue�of The�Bilingual�Family�Newsletterwas�published�in�1984,�and�was�edited�byGeorge�Saunders�for�the�first�ten�years.

Back�in�the�1980s�we�had�no�emails,�nomobile�phones�or�Skype,�all�of�which�helptoday’s�parents,�children,�grandparents�andgrandchildren�keep�in�touch�with�eachother�and�maintain�a�minority�language,however�far�apart�they�live.�Phone�calls�todifferent�countries�were�expensive,

satellite�TV�was�not�yet�common�andflights�home�meant�saving�for�the�rest�ofthe�year.�Despite�the�expense�of�it�all,�wehad�it�easy�compared�to�people�whoemigrated�to�far-flung�countries�in�thenineteenth�and�early�twentieth�century,�andwho�often�had�to�settle�without�ever�seeingtheir�family�back�home�again.�But�tocompare�it�with�now,�20�years�later,�ourexperience�was�still�quite�a�struggle�andit’s�not�surprising�that�many�parents�gaveup�on�bilingualism.��The�BFN�gave�parentshope.�It�reassured�them�that�they�weredoing�the�right�thing�when�they�wereworrying�about�what�harm�they�may�bedoing�in�bringing�children�up�bilingually.�Itgave�support�when�they�were�on�the�brinkof�giving�up.�It�answered�their�questions.�Itwas�the�“website”�for�parents�to�find�muchneeded�research�to�calm�their�concerns.�Itwas�-�and�still�is�-��the�link�betweenacademics�and�parents.�Many�academicsread�the�BFN�to�gain�knowledge�as�to�whatis�worrying�parents,�and�to�learn�how�theyare�coping�with�two�or�more�languages�andcultures.�It�has�always�been�a�two-wayflow�of�information.

The�questions�we�received�at�first�for�theBFN�were�very�basic:�How�do�you�bringup�children�bilingually?�What�happens�if

In your last issue, SuzanneBarron-Hauwaert asked about readersfor whom one family language ismarginalized in the country where theylive. I would like to share ourexperience regarding the use of Spanishin northern California.

My husband is German, I am Argentinian.At home we use mostly English, althoughSpanish, German, and some Portuguese arealso present. As we plan to start a familysoon, we are anticipating how theselanguages will play a role in the trilingualdevelopment of our child. However, weknow that one language - Spanish - is notwelcome by some Americans at this time.When we use Spanish outside the home forinstance, we often notice that someAmericans around us look uncomfortable.

We have heard similar stories from otherfamilies where one of the partners is aSpanish speaker. Some have told me thatthey are having a hard time maintainingSpanish. In some cases, theirprimary-school-age children are refusingto speak Spanish to their parents! Of

course there is some worry about facing a“language loss” situation, after all theeffort they have put into raising bilingualchildren.

Unfortunately, we cannot escape theanti-immigrant/anti-Spanish-speakingideology that is present in parts of theUS. This is not only short-sighted, butalso ironic, considering that much ofthe Southwest was Spanish speakingbefore it was acquired by the US. Weare not giving up though, and we knowthat no situation or time for raisingchildren is perfect. Talking about theseissues and challenges has strengthenedour collective commitment. When weget together, we make a point of usingSpanish among ourselves and with thechildren, as much as possible. Webelieve that “teaching by example” issometimes more effective than justlecturing to the kids.

M.�Cecilia�Gomez,Doctoral�student�in�Education�andLinguistics,�UC�Davis,�USA.

Many�academics�read�theBFN�to�gain�knowledge�asto�what�is�worrying�parents,and�to�learn�how�they�arecoping�with�two�or�morelanguages�and�cultures.

The�Story�of�the�BFN...

Continued�from�page�one

Speaking�Spanish�in�the�US

Please�don't�forget,�we�are�always�on�thelook�out�for new�material.�Whether�it'sresearch-based,�or�from�personalexperience,�if�you�have�something�to�shareabout�any�aspect�of�bilingualism,�bilingualeducation,�or�intercultural�living,�please�donot�hesitate�to�get�in�touch!

The�BFN�Needs�You!

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children�mix�languages?��Do�bilingualchildren�learn�to�speak�later�thanmonolingual�children?��How�and�whenshould�one�teach�reading�and�writing�in�thesecond�language?�Later�the�questions�havebecome�more�specific,�also�coveringcultural,�non-linguistic�aspects�of�bilinguallife.��Questions�on�trilingualism�andmultilingualism�are�now�more�common,reflecting�our�globalised�world.�Parentsmay�be�in�a�mixed�language�marriage,�yetmoving�abroad�to�where�the�language�ofthe�country�is�neither�parent’s�language�–and�a�few�years�later�they�may�move�againto�yet�another�country.�Many�of�today’sintercultural�children�have�to�adapt�and�beready�to�learn�several�languages�in�theirchildhood�–�and�the�BFN�reflects�thatphenomenon.�My�own�cousin,�who�ismarried�to�a�Frenchman,�has�two�childrenwho�speak�Finnish�and�French,�as�well�asGerman�and�Dutch�as�they�have�movedfrom�Germany�to�Holland.�I�never�stopmarvelling�that�such�small�boys�can�speakFrench (a�language�I�have�never�had�muchluck�with)!

I�have�just�seen�a�booklet�which�is�given�toevery�new�mother�in�Finland�on�how�toraise�children�bilingually�(Finland�isofficially�a�bilingual�country).�Mothers�inWales�have�been�getting�a�similar�bookletfor�several�years�now.�The�booklet�is�fullof�simple�clear�advice�on�how�to�raisechildren�bilingually�and�why�it�is�worth�theeffort.�How�I�wish�we�had�had�advice�likethat�available�30�years�ago.

But�the�BFN�is�still�needed,�despiteworldwide�communication�being�so�mucheasier�than�20�years�ago.��Today’s�parents'worries�still�seem�to�be�similar�to�the�oneswe�had.�Maybe�being�a�parent�means�thatyou�worry�about�your�children,�no�matterhow�much�knowledge�you�may�have�onhow�to�bring�them�up.�And�even�now�someprofessionals,�with�no�knowledge�ofbilingualism,�advise�parents�to�speak�onlyone�language�to�their�children�so�as�not�toconfuse�them.�We�still�have�a�long�way�togo!

My�own�two�beautiful�boys�are�now�intheir�early�30s�and�I�am�very�proud�to�tellyou�that�both�of�them�speak,�read�and�write

Today’s�interculturalchildren�have�to�adapt�andbe�ready�to�learn�severallanguages�in�theirchildhood�and�the�BFNreflects�that�phenomenon.

Continued�on�page�seven

Low�Marks�in�English

Marc�is�now�in collège (Frenchequivalent�of�secondary�school/highschool)�and�studies�by�subject�now.Madame�P.�has�been�teachingEnglish�for�at�least�17�years�(shetaught�my�husband�when�he�was�atthe�same�school!)�You�might�thinkthat�she�would�be�proud�that�one�ofher�ex-pupils�married�an�Englishgirl,�works�for�an�English-languagecompany�and�now�has�bilingualchildren.�However,�she�doesn’t�seemquite�so�happy�to�see�the�name‘Hauwaert’ again.

The�term�started�badly�when�sheplayed�a�little�ice-breaker�game�(asshe�always�does).�Each�child’s�namewas�Anglicized,�to�get�the�kids�in�themood,�so Francois became�Frankand Amandine was�Amanda.�Halfthe�class�had�a�name�that�existed�inboth�languages�(Julie,�Charlotte,Sarah,�Thomas,�Kevin to�name�but�afew)�which�she�could�not�do�muchabout.�Perhaps�lacking�suitabletranslations�due�to�French�parentspicking�Anglophone�names,�shemade�the�fatal�error�of�re-namingMarc ‘Mark’.�This�is�a�sensitiveissue,�one�he�has�battled�with�sincehe�was�four�and�started�writing�hisname�in�an�English�school.�He�hatesit�misspelled�and�valiantly�defends‘Marc’ as�an�‘English’�name�too,saying�it�exists�in�America�andEngland.�But�Madame�P.�firmlycorrects�his�name�card.

Marc/Mark�is�furious�and�goes�outof�his�way�to�correct�her�Englishexpressions�and�criticise�her�choiceof�‘baby�songs’�for�the�Frenchstudents�to�learn.�He�titles�a�dictationexercise ‘Too-Easy�Dictation’ andsloppily�answers�as�if�he�can’t�bebothered.�The�level�is�so�low�hecould�do�it�with�his�eyes�closed,�he

says.�So�at�the�Parents�Meeting�whenI�mentioned�that�Marc�was�somewhatbored�she�waved�his�exam�paper�atme,�saying ‘Look,�he�only�got�17.5�outof�20!!�He�can’t�even�spellWednesday’.�I�agreed�that�Marcmakes�silly�spelling/grammaticalmistakes�and�told�her�that�he�is�rapidlylosing�interest�in�the�subject�(anemotional�issue�as�this�is my languagewe�are�talking�about).�I�asked�whatshe�could�do�to�help.�Madame�P.�saidhe�could�skip�the�workbook�and‘help’�the�other�students.�But�assistingthe�beginner-level�French�students�haslost�any�interest�to�him,�and�he�says�hefeels�uncomfortable�‘teaching’�hisclassmates.�What�he�needs�is�spellingand�challenging�reading,�not�singing‘Head�and�Shoulders,�Knees�andToes…’

A week later Madame P agrees to givehim more written classwork and moveshim out for two ‘extra’ languagesessions a week, along with the otherfour fluently bilingual kids in his year,who are also bored and sit sniggeringin the back row. After a few hours ofintensive study of the passé simple andEnglish grammar exercises they aresoon wishing they were back in EasyEnglish again! These extra sessions arethankfully done with an English nativeteacher, Mrs. G, who is there tosupport the bilingual kids in their duallanguage use. She knows all abouttheir unique combination of confidentverbal skills and dreadful spelling. Hefinally has a teacher tuned to his needsand, most importantly, one who alwayscalls him Marc…

At�last,�a�Foreign�Language

In collège Marc can learn a ForeignLanguage. Marc never had any choiceabout learning English and French.When people say how lucky he is tospeak two foreign languages so easilyhe must wonder what they mean. It wasno fun for him - especially with twoparents who were determined that hewould speak each language to a highstandard. Poor Marc was the first childand the guinea-pig of the family. Rightfrom day one he was blasted withEnglish from his mother (and all herfamily) and French from Papa (and allhis family). There was never any otheroption than to speak both languages. It’snot that he is ungrateful for thelanguages we chose for him; he justwould have liked a choice in the matter.

Now�aged�eleven�years�and�eightmonths,�he�has�a�real�choice�at�last.English�is�obligatory�all�through�thefour�years�of collège, but�there�is�anoption�for�a�second�language�startingin�the�first�year.�This�is�where�Marchas�his�wish�come�true.�On�the�menuis�German,�Latin�or�Spanish.

Continued�on�page�six

Notes�from�the�OPOLFamily

A�'Foreign'�Language

SuzanneBarron-Hauwaert

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In�part�one�of�this�article,�published�inissue�25:3,�Iman�Laversuch�explored�thecauses,�symptoms�and�consequences�ofhomesickness.�She�also�discussed�the�lackof�understanding�that�many�sufferers�facewhen�they�seek�help�from�the�medicalprofession�or�the�scientific�community.Below�she�looks�at�strategies�for�copingwith�homesickness,�and�also�discusseswhat�can�be�done�in�extreme�cases�whenattempts�to�overcome�homesickness�proveineffective.

To�a�certain�extent,�the�lack�of�awarenessand�sensitivity�within�the�scientificcommunity�toward�homesickness�issomewhat�bewildering.�After�all,�for�sometime�now�it�has�been�commonly�knownthat�many�intelligent,�sensitive�animalswith�highly�evolved�social�networks�(e.g.elephants,�great�apes,�big�cats,�dolphins,and�whales,�sea�birds,�and�even�somespecies�of�fish)�may�be�particularlysusceptible�to�homesickness�when�forcedto�leave�their�home�environments.�In�fact,for�some�animals,�the�pain�of�beingseparated�from�their�original�family�groupand/or�place�of�birth�may�be�so�severe�thatthey�will�literally�pine�away,�eventuallydying�from�the�shock�of�a�broken�heart.

Modern�zoologists�and�animal�rightsactivists�have�long�since�been�aware�of�thisdanger�and�accordingly�go�to�great�pains�tomake�sure�that�an�animal’s�transition�to�anew�environment�(be�it�in�captivity�or�inthe�wild)�is�as�gentle�and�as�gradual�aspossible.�Without�these�supports,�evenanimals�which�are�revered�for�theiruncommon�strength,�resilience,intelligence,�and�fortitude�may�witheraway.

This�point�leads�to�yet�another�commonmisconception:�contrary�to�popular�belief,homesickness�is�not�at�all�limited�to�thepsychologically�weak�or�sociallymaladjusted.�It�is�an�equal�opportunityillness�which�can�strike�anyone�at�anytime.�Sadly,�far�too�many�people�remainunaware�of�this�fact�and�insist�uponoffering�useless,�belittling,�dismissiveplatitudes�when�confronting�a�person

suffering�from�homesickness.��Instead,sufferers�should�be�told�that�there�are�someconcrete�steps�which�they�can�take�tobreak�out�of�their�cycle�of�cognitive,psychological,�and�behavioral�inertia.

But�what�can�you�do�if�you�have�tried�allof�these�strategies�and�you�still�feelhomesick?��According�to�Professor�AdVingerhoets,�from�the�Department�ofClinical�and�Developmental�Psychology�atthe�Tilburg�University�in�the�Netherlands,in�severe�cases�involving�prolongedhomesickness�(longer�than�12�months),�thecure�may�be�very�simple,�albeit�notnecessarily�easy.��As�ProfessorVingerhoets�states: “It�seems�thathomesickness�is�not�very�easy�to�treat.��Inmild�forms,�people�may�learn�to�live�withit,�but�in�serious�cases,�there�is�just�oneremedy�-�go�back�to�the�roots.”

A�few�years�ago,�a�good�friend�of�mineshowed�me�just�how�simple�it�can�be�totake�this�final�step.��Susan�was�a�ChineseCanadian�who�was�married�to�aFrenchman�in�the�Alsace.��One�afternoon,I�received�a�surprise�telephone�call�with�anelated�Susan�on�the�other�end�of�the�line:“Guess�where�I�am??!” she�askedhurriedly. “I’m�standing�at�Charles�deGaulle�Airport�and�I’m�flying�HOME!!!”After�having�survived�six�years�in�a�dyingmarriage�and�suffering�everypsychosomatic�disease�known�to�man,�onemorning�Susan�woke,�got�out�of�bed,�andtook�the�first�train�to�the�airport. “I�wasn’tplanning�on�leaving.” She�reportedbreathlessly: “Actually,�I�was�on�my�wayto�work…But,�for�some�reason,�I�justdidn’t�get�off�the�train�at�my�stop…I�justkept�riding…until�suddenly�I�found�myselfstanding�in�front�of�the�ticket�agents…Ijust�bought�myself�a�one-way�ticket�backhome,�to�Canada!”

That�was�the�last�time�that�I�ever�heardfrom�Susan.��I�like�to�imagine�hersomeplace�very�happy�and�very…well…athome.���But,�before�you�find�yourselfstanding�at�the�nearest�international�airportbuying�the�first�one-way�ticket�back�youcan�find,�there�is�one�thing�to�bear�inmind.�The�decision�to�move�back�maypresent�many�new,�unforeseen�challenges.Heeding�this�warning�may�be�particularlyimportant�for�expats�who�have�been�livingabroad�for�a�prolonged�of�time.��As�Dr.Van�Tilburg�cautions: Even�whensomeone�returns�home�things�may�havechanged,�especially�if�one�has�been�awayfor�a�long�time.��One�often�cannot�returnto�the�same�house;�and�friends�and�familymay�have�moved�on.��Furthermore,�themove�and�new�surroundings/cultures�may

HOMESICKNESS:

Strategies�for�Coping

Readers�who�find�themselvesconfronted�with�homesickness�areadvised�to�follow�a��strategy�in�whichthey�“R.E.O.P.E.N.”�themselves.

RESISTANCE: Fight�against�theurge,�no�matter�how�tempting,�to�fallinto�long�tirades�of�bitterness�orperiods�of�regret.

EXPRESSION: Your emotions are acrucial part of your Self. Find ways toregularly express your feelings. And donot limit yourself to talking. Write. Sing.Dance. Paint. Sculpt. Act. Get it Out!

OPTIMISM: Instead�of�focusing�onall�that�you�have�lost,�try�to�shift�yourthoughts�to�all�that�you�have�gained.Furthermore,�take�heart�in�the�fact�thatyou�are�not�alone.

PROACTIVENESS: Do�not�waitpassively�for�your�situation�toimprove.��Take�concrete�steps�to�bringjoy�into�your�life, everyday.��There�ismuch�to�be�said�for�the�old�adage“laughter�is�the�best�medicine"(1).

ENERGY: Take care of yourselfphysically, psychologically, andspiritually, however you may define thatto be. Just as importantly, become awareof those people and places which rob youof your energy; and react accordingly.

NETWORKING: At�least�initially,try�not�to�center�your�Self�around�thefriends�and�family�you�left�behind.Instead,�explore�your�new�socialenvironment�and�seek�out�newconnections�(2).

The�Long�Way�HomeThe�Very�Real�Nature�of�Homesickness,�Part�TwoBy�Dr.�I.�M.�Laversuch

Photographs�by�Günter�Nick

Continued�on�page�seven

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A�New�Generation�of�Intercultural�Citizens

by�Patricia�Vande�Velde

Prompted�by�the�excellent�article�in�yourNewsletter�by�Alex�Poole�and�also�theletter�from�Monika�Jonasova�aboutprejudice�(BFN�25:2),�I�have�finally�putpen�to�paper�(so�to�speak)�to�recount�ourexperience�with�Sarah.

Our daughter is now almost20–years–old and speaks six languages.I am English and studied and taughtlanguages and linguistics in Australiaand her father is a Flemish-speakingBelgian. We decided to bring Sarah upwith the OPOL (one parent onelanguage) system - English and Flemish.I frantically looked for reference

material beyond my own French-basedresearch when Sarah was born and wasvery happy to discover the BFN whichbecame my reference and support formany years. I was also lucky to have aBritish baby group in Leuven toreinforce her baby language andvocabulary in English before she startedthe local Flemish school. Both Sarah andI are eternally grateful to the BBC fortheir excellent children’s programmesand serials – ‘Playdays’ remains one ofher very best memories of baby days!

My husband’s family was not alwayssure of the two language approach. Myown father, living nearby, wasdisappointed when Sarah didn’t manageto say ‘Daddy Jim’ until several weeksafter the Flemish ‘Bompa’. However,our perseverance in the beginning haspaid off and was compensated by suchmoments when, at 18-months-old,getting no reply from me to her requestfor toothpaste she turned to her fatherand asked for ‘tandpasta’; when infrustration with some handycraft project,she cried out ‘this is all in a button’(knot = knop = button in Flemish); whenafter several days with English friends inLondon she insisted on translatingeverything for her father on his arrivalfrom Belgium.

We�developed�a�system�from�the�verybeginning�where�I�corrected�anygrammatical�or�vocabulary�mistakes�andSarah�would�happily�repeat�andauto-correct.�This�I�feel�was�an�importantstep�in�avoiding�the�dangers�of�crosslanguage�interference.

At�school�at�2�½�years,�Sarah�fitted�intothe�Flemish�system,�and�indeed�tookadvantage�of�the�local�way�of�life�andtraditions�just�as�wholeheartedly�as�theEnglish�festivities�I�strove�to�maintain:�–Christmas�began�on�6th�December�withZwarte�Piet (Black�Peter)�and�ended�onNew�Year’s�day�with�Viennese�walzes,family�lunch�and�the�traditionalNieuwjaars�brief for�the�grandparents.

When she was 12 years old wedecided to move to Southern France.Sarah participated in the decision tomove and was happy to exchange theBelgian weather for the sun and surfand winter skiing of the Basquecountry. I was confident she wouldcope with the change of language atschool but nevertheless had a big lumpin my throat when I left her for thefirst day at her new French college.Six years later she completed her Bac(Economy) with brio and has just spenta gap year in Taiwan where she haslearned Mandarin. This September shewent to Nottingham to start a businessand languages degree.

Sarah�with�her�parents

Bringing�up�our�daughter�bilingually�hashelped�her�become�multilingual:�French,which�she�had�experienced�only�passivelyuntil�she�started�school�here,�shereproduced�seemingly�without�effort�andlearned�to�read�and�write�correctly�in�herfirst�school�year;�Spanish�(with�Spain�justover�the�border)�she�adopted�with�greatenthusiasm;�German�came�as�the�next

language�–�obviously�helped�by�thegermanic�Flemish�and�especially�by�anactive�school�exchange.�We�still�maintainthe�bilingual�balance�at�home�despite�thefact�we�are�now�in�a�third-languageenvironment�often�with�visitors�from�manydifferent�nationalities.

We�would�like�to�think�our�daughter�hasbecome�part�of�a�new�generation�of�worldcitizens.

Sarah�participated�in�thedecision�to�move�and�washappy�to�exchange�theBelgian�weather�for�the�sunand�surf�and�winter�skiingof�the�Basque�country.

This�book�is�for�parents�who�live�in�aforeign�country�and�intend�to�raise�theirchildren�in�their�own�heritage�language(s).It�offers�helpful�suggestions�for�thischallenging�situation�and�provides�usefulstrategies�in�the�daily�interactionsbetween�parents�and�children.

This�book�is�hugely�enjoyable!��It�iswritten�in�a�highly�accessible�style,�andyet�it�is�academically�rigorous.�Theauthor�has�a�profound�understanding�ofthe�linguistic,�social,�cultural�andpsychological�aspects�of�trilingualism�...She�draws�excellent�conclusions�forprospective�parents�of�multilingualchildren�and�has�a�clear�message�to�thosewho�doubt�that�multilingualism�can�work.

Dr.�Jean-Marc�Dewaele,�University�ofLondon

Parents'�and�Teachers'�Guides,����2008200pp�Pbk�ISBN-13�9781847691064Price�£18.95�/�US$36.95�/�CAN$36.95

www.multilingual-matters.com

NEW�PUBLICATION

Page 6: 25˛years˛of˛the˛Bilingual˛Family˛Newsletter editorial ... 25-4.pdf · available˙on˙bilingualism˙and multiculturalism,˙yet˙there˙was˙a˙large ... worldwide communication

NON-NATIVE�BILINGUALISM

I�recently�read A�Parents’�andTeachers’�Guide�to�Bilingualismby�Colin�Baker* and�I�havefurther�questions�about�trilingualchildren.�Actually,�I’m�Koreanand�married�a�Chinese�man,�andnow�we�live�in�China.

We�have�communicated�with�eachother�in�English�since�we�met�in

There�are�many�families�around�the�worldwho�communicate�using�a�third�languagewhich�they�both�speak�fluently.�It's�verypositive�that�you�are�thinking�ahead�aboutbilingualism�and�that�you�are�bothbilingual�too.�This�is�a�great�model�foryour�child.�It's�clear�that�English�has�animportant�role�in�your�family,�because�thatis�the�language�of�communication�for�youand�your�husband.�When�your�baby�arrivesyou�have�a�few�options.

Firstly,�you�could�each�speak�your�ownlanguage�(you�speak�in�Korean�and�yourhusband�in�Chinese)�to�your�child�frombirth.�This�is�the�basis�of�theOne-parent-One�language�(OPOL)approach�that�you�read�about,�and�allowseach�parent�to�establish�their�own�languagewhen�the�child�is�young.�This�would�begood�for�helping�your�child�learn�Korean,because�you�can�sing�or�tell�stories�in�yourmaternal�language,�which�really�helpslanguage�skills.�You�can�still�speakEnglish�together�as�a�couple.

In�my�research�on�trilingual�families�Ifound�that�the�children�quickly�pick�up�thethird�language�too,�from�hearing�theirparents�use�it�all�the�time,�and�they�oftenbecome�trilingual.�Later�on,�when�yourchild�is�comfortable�speaking�the�twoparental�languages�you�can�alwaysintroduce�English�as�a�language�you�use

Australia�(I�don’t�speak�Chinese,and�he�doesn’t�speak�Korean).My�husband�studied�and�workedin�English-speaking�counties�forabout�7�years,�and�I�don’t�havemuch�difficulties�in�speakingEnglish.

Nevertheless,�because�English�isnot�our�mother-tongue,�I�guess�wesometimes�use�“broken�English”and�we�are�not�always�familiarwith�many�specific�words.

Our�first�child�will�be�born�nextFebruary.�I�really�worry�aboutmy�baby’s�language�skills.�Whichlanguage�should�we�use�when�wetalk�to�our�child?

I�heard�a�lot�about�“one-parentone-language”,�but�the�problem�iswe�talk�in�a�third�language.

We�want�our�baby�to�speakEnglish�(but�I�worry�if�the�babywill�learn�any�broken�English).Which�language�should�we�usewith�our�baby?

Best�regards�Karen�NamShenzhen,�China

(*available�fromwww.multilingual-matters.com)

when�you�are�all�together,�or�thoughbooks,�music�or�films.�You�could�perhapsfind�a�tutor�or�organize�extra�classes�inEnglish�to�build�up�vocabulary�andgrammar.�Children�in�trilingual�familiesusually�learn�to�"switch"�language�veryquickly�and�use�the�right�one�for�the�rightperson.

Secondly,�one�or�both�of�you�could�speakto�your�child�in�English,�because�you�bothspeak�it�well�and�feel�confident�usingEnglish�together.�This�is�often�referred�toas�a�Non-Native�strategy.�Your�childwould�still�pick�up�Chinese,�from�yourhusband's�family,�school�and�local�friends,as�long�as�you�continue�to�live�in�China.However,�this�option�would�limit�Koreanuse,�and�perhaps�make�it�difficult�for�thechild�to�communicate�with�your�familywhen�you�visit.

Suzanne�Barron-Hauwaert

Author�of Language�Strategies�forBilingual�Families:�The�One-parent-OneLanguage�Approach and�the�OPOL�FamilyBlog.�See�advertisement�on�the�right�formore�details�about�Suzanne's�book,�orcheck�out�her�website�at:

www.opol4us.com

Marc�discusses�each�language�seriouslyand�meticulously,�questioning�us�on�whichone�we�think�is�the�easiest,�which�one�isuseful,�and�which�one�will�help�him�in�thefuture.�He�picks�German�in�the�end.Jacques�is�happy�since�he�speaks�excellentGerman.�In�fact,�his�mother�fought�to�get�aGerman�class�established�twenty�years�agoin�the�same�school,�rallying�round�parentsto�give�the�children�more�choice.

The�German�class�is�small�and�is�run�viawebcam�so�the�teacher�can�cover�fourschools�at�the�same�time.�I�am�a�bitsceptical�about�this�futuristic�set-up,�butthe�kids�accept�it�as�normal.�Talking�to�themicrophone�or�the�camera�has�becomesecond�nature.�It�is�a�delight�to�see�Marcsaying�‘Ich�bin�Marc!’�and�chanting�‘ein,zwei,�drei…’�He�is�fascinated�by�thedifferences�and�the�similarities�betweenEnglish,�French�and�this�new�language.�Heis�amazed�that�German�has�an�extra�letter(the�‘ss’�sound�or�ß)�and�that�they�usecapital�letters�for�so�many�nouns�andenjoys�the�lack�of�pressure�to�becomefluent�and�the�slow�pace�of�learning�thatbeginners�can�indulge�in.�Watching�himenthusiastically�tackle�his�Germanhomework�I�am�glad�that�finally�languagelearning�is�fun…

Post�a�comment�on�Suzanne’s�blog:http://opol-family.blogspot.com/

The�OPOL�Family...

Continued�from�page�three

This�book�looks�at�how�families�cansupport�and�increase�bilingualismthrough�planned�strategies.�One�suchstrategy�is�the�one-person-one-languageapproach,�where�each�parent�speaks�hisor�her�language.�Over�a�hundredfamilies�from�around�the�world�werequestioned�and�thirty�families�wereinterviewed�in-depth�about�how�theypass�on�their�language�in�bilingual�ortrilingual�families.

Parents'�and�Teachers'�Guides,�2004.240pp.ISBN-13�9781853597145Price�£14.95�/�US$29.95�/�CAN$29.95

www.multilingual-matters.com

More�Information

Page 7: 25˛years˛of˛the˛Bilingual˛Family˛Newsletter editorial ... 25-4.pdf · available˙on˙bilingualism˙and multiculturalism,˙yet˙there˙was˙a˙large ... worldwide communication

The�Long�Way�Home...Continued�from�page�four

lead�to�changes�in�the�individual�andhis/her�family�complicating�the�adjustmentat�home.

As�Dr.�Van�Tilburg�reminds�us,�after�aprolonged�absence,�moving�back�cansometimes�be�just�as�hard�as�moving�out.

In�fact,�in�some�ways,�the�move�back�homemay�even�be�harder�for�one�simple�reason.People�are�often�psychologically�preparedfor�“culture�shock”�when�they�move�to�aforeign�country�but�they�are�oftencompletely�taken�off�guard�when�feelingsof�alienation�and�disorientation�hit�them“at�home”.�The�realization�that�the�homeyou�once�left�behind�is�gone�can�be�adevastating�one,�leaving�the�person�feeling

devastated,�cheated,�and�alone.��For�thatreason,�long-term�sufferers�ofhomesickness�who�have�finally�made�theoften�excruciatingly�difficult�decision�to“go�back”�are�warned�to�preparethemselves�for�the�fact�that�the�home�theyleft�behind�may�only�exist�in�theirmemory,�not�in�reality.�This�point�is�notmade�to�discourage�but�to�protect�theweary.

So,�how�do�you�know�when�it�is�time�toleave?�Lynda,�another�US�American�whowas�once�married�to�a�Catalan-Spanishspeaker�from�Barcelona�describes�how�shedecided�to�draw�the�line: Because�myhusband�was�unwilling�to�accept�myfeelings�about�my�home�country,�and�evenon�occasion�refused�to�allow�me�to�comeback,�even�when�family�was�very�ill,�I�lefthim.�By�that�I�mean�I�divorced�him�and�Icame�back�to�my�home�country.�Somepeople�are�able�to�embrace�the�new�anddifferent�and�forever�leave�behind�the�pastand�the�things�attached�to�their�home.[...]Others,�are�not�able�to�do�so�forextended�periods,�even�when�fullyintegrated�into�the�new�culture.�[...]�If�thefeelings�are�that�intense,�face�up�to�them,be�brave�and�make�a�decision.

Unfortunately,�there�is�no�one�hard�andfast�rule�for�figuring�out�what�is�the�bestdecision.�Each�family�is�a�unique,

complex�socio-psychological�systemwith�its�own�set�of�norms,�traditions,principles,�and�expectations.Consequently,�there�is�no�sure-fire�wayfor�determining�when�“enough�has�trulybeen�enough”.�However,�there�is�onegeneral�principle�which�can�be�of�greatuse�here:�namely,�“honesty�is�always�thebest�policy”.�Try,�no�matter�how�difficultit�may�be�at�first,�to�be�honest�about�bothyour�strengths�and�your�weaknesses,your�borders�and�your�limits.

Talk�with�the�people�you�love�and�solicittheir�understanding�and�support.Moreover,�don’t�forget�that�one�of�themost�important�people�in�that�circle�oflove�should�be�yourself.��And�therein�liesone�of�the�most�important�lessons�to�belearnt�if�you�are�going�to�truly�climbyour�way�out�of�the�maddening�spiral�ofdepression�and�despair�known�asloneliness.�Before�you�can�get�the�helpyou�need,�you�must�first�be�willing�todemand�the�joy�you�deserve.

References

Eurelings-Bontekoe,�E.,Vingerhoets,�A,�and

Fontijn,�T.�(1994).Personality�and�Behavioral

Antecedents�of�Homesickness�in Personality

and�Individual�Differences. 16(2):�229-235

Fisher,�S.�(1989). Homesickness,�Cognition,

and�Health. London:�Erlbaum.

Thurber,�C.�and�,�Walton,�E.��(2007).

Preventing�and�Treating�Homesickness

American�Academy�of�Pediatrics.��Accessed

from�www.pediatrics.org.��Accessed�on:

March�28,�2008.

Van�Tilburg,�M.�and�Vingerhoets,��A.�J.

(eds).��(1997).�The�Psychological�Context�of

Homesickness�in Aspects�of�Geographical

Moves. Amsterdam:�Amsterdam�University

Press.

Van�Tilburg,�M.,�Eurelings-Bontekoe,E.,

Vingerhoets,A.�and�Van�Heck,�G.�(1999).�An

Exploratory�Investigation�into�Types�of�Adult

Homesickness�in Psychotherapy�and

Psychosomatics.��68(6):�313-318.

Footnotes

(1)�Severe�homesickness�does�not�remit

spontaneously�but�does�get�better�with�positive

coping�efforts.”�(Thurber,�2007:�6).

(2)�As�Van�Tilburg�goes�on�to�explain:�“I’d�be

wary�of�a�heavy�reliance�on�social�support�from

home�rather�than�people�in�the�new�environment�as

it�will�hinder�adjustment��[…].�The�people�in�your

new�environment�can�help�you�with�the�daily

hassles�of�finding�stores,�schools,�restaurants,

doctors,�etc.,�helping�with�the�new�language,

norms,�values,�culture,�and�laws�[…]”.

Finnish�fluently.��They�are�also�verygrateful�that�we�brought�them�upbilingually�as�it�has�given�them�strongroots�in�both�of�their�cultures�and�that“second�window”�on�the�world,�which�hashelped�them�to�develop�open�curiositytowards�different�languages�and�cultures.�Ithas�taken�Sami,�now�the�editor�of�the BFN,across�the�Atlantic�to�marry�a�lovelyAmerican�girl,�Jenni,�and�although�theyhave�a�common�language,�they�too�haveembarked�on�the�interesting�and�excitingjourney�of�a�bicultural�marriage.

Bilingualism/biculturalism�is�a�life-longjourney�with�its�ups�and�downs�like�anyother.�The�BFN�has�helped�many�on�thatjourney�and�I�hope�it�will�continue�to�helpfuture�parents�too.�Thank�you�to�all�thereaders�and�contributors,�especially�theacademics,�who�have�freely�given�theiradvice�and�shared�their�knowledge�withreaders.

Since�I�was�brought�up�monolingually�andhave�never�found�language�learning�easy,�Ifeel�strongly�that�we�have�given�ourchildren�a�great�gift�by�giving�themmultiple�languages�from�early�childhood.For�me,�the�slogan “Blessed�with�bilingualbrains” says�it�all!

The�realization�that�thehome�you�once�left�behind�isgone�can�be�a�devastatingone,�leaving�the�personfeeling�devastated,�cheated,and�alone.

The�Story�of�the�BFN�...Continued�from�page�three

This�book�addresses�issues�thateducators,�policy�makers�andparents�of�linguistically�diversechildren�must�face�when�teachingin,�administrating�or�choosing�anInternational�School.��The�authordraws�on�teaching�theory�topropose�guidelines,�best�practiceand�checklists�for�ensuring�that�allchildren�in�a�school’s�multiculturalsociety�benefit�from�a�trulyinclusive�curriculum,�regardless�oftheir�linguistic�and�culturalorigins.

Parents’�and�Teachers'�Guides2008�����184pp

Pbk�ISBN-13�9781847690678£16.95�/�US$34.95�/�CAN$34.95

www.multilingual-matters.com

New�Publication

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The�editors,�with�the�help�of�the�International�Editorial�Board,�are�happy�toanswer�any�queries�you�may�have�on�bilingualism/biculturalism.�We�reservethe�right�to�edit�any�letters�published.

Editors: Sami�Grover &�Marjukka�Grover

Editorial�Board:

Alathea�Anderssohn, El�Jadida,�Morocco.

Colin�Baker,�Bangor, Wales,�Great�Britain.

Suzanne�Barron-Hauwaert, Deux-Sevres,�France.

Jayson�Campeau, Chatham,�Ontario,�Canada.

James�Crawford, Silver�Spring,�USA.

Terry�Haywood, Milano,�Italy.

Christine�Helot, Strasborg,�France.

Carolyn�Letts, Newcastle-upon-Tyne,�Great�Britain.

Li�Wei, Newcastle-upon-Tyne,�Great�Britain.

Iman�Makeba-Laversuch, Zürich,�Switzerland

Anne-Maria�de�Mejíá, Cali,�Colombia.

Eugenia�Papadaki, Milano,�Italy.

Michael�Rosanova, Oak�Park,�Illinois,�USA.

Tracey�Tokuhama-Espinosa, Quito,�Ecuador.

Masayo�Yamamoto, Nara,�Japan.

If�you�do�not�already�subscribe,�use�the�form�below�to�enter�a

subscription�for�the�next�four�issues.�If�you�know�of�any�other�families

who�may�be�interested�in�the�BFN,�enter�their�address�on�the�form�and

we�will�send�them�a�free�sample�of�a�recent�issue.

Multilingual�Matters

St�Nicholas�House,�31-34�High�Street

Bristol,�England.�BS1�2AW

Tel:�+�44�(0)117-3158562;�Fax:+44�(0)117-3158563

E-mail:�[email protected]

http://www.multilingual-matters.com

Vol.25,�No.4,�2008

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ISSN�0952-4096�©�2008�Channel�View�Publications�Ltd

Russian�speaking�families�in�the�West�Midlands,�UK

A�Russian/English�family�with�a�little�boy�(2.5�years�old)�wouldlike�to�meet�other�Russian�speaking�families�with�young�childrenthat�live�in�the�West�Midlands,�preferably�in�theBirmingham/Worcester�area.�We�live�in�Bromsgrove�and�speakmainly�Russian�at�home.�We�would�be�happy�to�organise�aRussian�playgroup�if�there�were�other�families�that�would�beinterested�in�joining.

Contact:�Masha�GaribyanEmail:�[email protected]

Real�Book�News

For�adults�helping�children�learn�English�as�a�foreign�languageor�additional�language.�Each�issue�introduces�suitable�realpicture�books�for�beginners�in�English�and�also�includes�aFeature�Article�of�interest�to�parents�helping�their�children�learnEnglish.

Free�copies�available�from�tel:�+20-7359�8893or�e-mail:�[email protected]�or�download�fromwww.realbooks.co.uk

“Two�Language�or�More”

The�National�Education�Agency�and�the�Rinkeby�Institute�ofMultilingual�Research�(Sweden)�have�published�a�veryinformative�28�page�booklet “Two�Language�or�More” inSwedish,�Albanian,�Arabic,�Bosnian,�English,�Finnish,�Somali,Spanish�and�Turkish.�Price�10�Swedish�Kronor�(SwedishCrowns/approx.�£1.00�sterling�equivalent).

Available�fromLiber�Distribution�Publikationstjänst,�162�89�Stockholm,Sweden.�Tel:�+46�8�690�95�76,�+46�8�690�95�76e-mail:�[email protected]

Glossary

Native�Language: The�language�which�a�person�acquiresfirst�in�life,�or�identifies�with�as�a�member�of�an�ethnic�group.

Negotiation: Negotiation�occurs�in�a�conversation�so�thatsuccessful�and�smooth�communication�occurs.�The�use�offeedback,�corrections,�exemplification,�repetition,�elaborationand�simplification�may�aid�negotiation.

Non-Native�Variety: A�language�variety�not�indigenous�to�aregion,�but�imported�by�in-migrants.

Non-Verbal�Communication: Communication�withoutwords;�for�example,�via�gestures,�eye�contact,�position�andposture�when�talking,�body�movements�and�contact,�tone�ofvoice.

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