assange's 40th wing-ding * nimrod kamer * 7/2011
TRANSCRIPT
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8/6/2019 Assange's 40th Wing-Ding * Nimrod Kamer * 7/2011
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Assange's 40th Wing-Ding Nimrod Kamer
Brad Pitt, his wife, Al Gore, Oprah Winfrey and a bunch of other A-listers were
invited to Julian Assange's bday bash last Sunday. None of them showed up,
in what turned out to be a no-donors-overly-hyped Suffolk soiree. It is most
unfortunate first and foremost to Assange's depleting bank account. To the
defense of the invitees, neither Gore nor Winfrey, although "liberals", ever
claimed alliance with Wikileaks or the person in question.
It was a bit klutzy, as if Ed Miliband invited Blair to his knot tying without first
asking if he's into him. "Is Assange really 40?" some of the guests queried,
pointing out he looks much younger and vigor, ready to handle an even
greater leak, if only it wasnt for that sex(t)ing-while-sleeping rape charge he's
facing back home in Scandinavia.
The affair took place outside a 10 bedroom farm-house, not far from Bungayand Diss, where the whistleblower is staying on expanse of the Smith family,
Vaughan and Pranvera Smith, who also run Frontline, a 5,000 lifetime
membership journalists club. Assange's driver stated he's positive those
Smiths's got something to do with W H Smith. I found no evidence to that.
Soon upon arriving I noticed Julian, already perched, settled and stewed
center staged on a round table inside a tent they've built on the front lawn.
He was num, letting a few pettish, peevishly overly-proud-of-him women
literally shout his praise on the microphone. At one point they pleaded all
guests to say 'Hooray' for what Julian did, times three. "It's funny how
reactionary idols must always endure those oldfangled would-be activists.." a
girl next to me noted. Assange's new lawyer stood aside too, glancing,
gorgeous as she was, along with two HBO executives planning to make a 'TV
drama or mini serious' based on the man's escapades.
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One other individual, looking more doughy and feeble than Assange, was said
to be his ghostwriter. Just like in Polanski's film, the chap carried out as
someone waiting for a GPS fixed SUV to relegate him anywhere, as long as it's
Gatwick. A week ago it was learned the memoir jotted down in name of
Assange, which the writer swore not to leak, will never be printed. Julian
called off the 850,000 deal quite abruptly, no one knows why, subsequent to
taking an advance from Canongate Books.
Next, a debutant named Jemima Khan debuted the premises. For a short
while it was as if everyone were perplexed, not be to witnessing an activist
but an actual Independent associate editor with a sound check book. It thenstruck me a bit odd, the whole 'Wikileaks in dire need of donations' thing. A)
One never heard of any Wikileaks members in existence other than JA. B) It
didnt seem like the Smiths "freedom of info" types as they were, and loaded
with cash, will ever refuse to endorsement. Having said that, it's obvious
Julian would face much harder time getting money whilst in Sweden, the
equivalent of daytime prison for him. (Sun never sets wise).
I then discovered that a different kind of guest, priceless (and missing). His
name: Slavoj iek, the Slovenian philosopher and one of Assange's closest
pals. On July 2nd the two eBayed lunch with themselves at the Ivy, only to get
a few thousand quid per person in return. Not only that, all eight winners
came from the same consulting firm. Assange must've wanted to hang himself
right there just out of yawn.
In any case, appeased by those who did come, wearing an all white endless-
vacation suite and rampant hairdo, birthday boy seemed gleeful, some would
say not waving but drowning, but still very much gratified. Two satin-gowned
girls running around gave it the feel of a proper summer wedding after-all.
From a distance I wished him 'many happy returns'. He seemed transfixed,
swiveled at me while omitting to nod.
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It is also in need of mentioning, that after disclosing to several blokes of a
dream I had, in which Rebekha Brooks is portrayed by Jemima Khan and firing
me from NotW, an organizer came up to inform me that since Mr. iek, my
alleged acquaintance, did not arrive, I dont have any reason for staying. I
nodded docilely and led myself out. Tried to catch Julian's sleepy-eye one last
time, thinking only a true heroine will pretend to doubt his admires.
@nnimrodd \ 10.7.2011
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