the weekend 07 march 2014

WeekendWeekend

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Lady blues sings

FROM FRIDAY, MARCH 7, 2014 ISSUE 94

POWERED BYThe

Imelda May joins the line-up for Bristol’s second jazz and blues festival

FRAME AND FORTUNE

EAST OF EDEN PROJECT

ShENENE SAyS RElAx

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Offer Unleash your inner LewisHamilton at TeamSport Bristol

with £5 off

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Independent of the week NatalieBanyard visits the family firm that’s apillar of Stokes Croft’s arty community,as well as framing all your family snaps

THE ART

SHOPPING

Stokes Croft pridesitself on being avibrant hub thatencourages andsupports localcreatives as wellas fostering a

liberal attitude towards streetart. One of the shops that hasbeen assisting with thepresentation of this artistictalent since 1985 is family-runNiche Frames.Based in a 5,000sqft premises

towards the city centre end ofStokes Croft, Niche Framesoffers a bespoke picture framingand digital printing service aswell as a wide range of quirkygreetings cards.Rupert Morley, who has

worked at Niche for seven years,says: “Niche offers a number ofdifferent services, althoughframing is still a goodproportion of what we do.“As well as selling an

extensive variety of ready-madeframes, we also offer a greatbespoke service.”Customers are offered a

choice of 500 different framemouldings in all shapes, sizesand colours, from solid wood to

smooth metalics. There’s asimilar number of mountcolours to choose from,ensuring Niche can create theperfect picture to suit your tasteand style.If you prefer a more

contemporary look, your printsor photographs can beblockmounted, which involvesbonding the image to thick MDFin any size up to 100m x 150mm.The company also offers

object framing, so whether asigned football T-shirt or a pairof baby mittens, Niche can makea piece of art from yourtreasured memorabilia.“Everything is bespoke and

made here on the premises,which gives us a massive scopeof what we can do,” explainsRupert. “We can meet just aboutany requirement – just come inand ask.”As Rupert points out,

mounting and framing is justone part of Niche. The ability tooffer high quality digital printingis key in this day and age andthe company has invested instate-of-the-art Epson Gicleeprinters, which give a perfectimage with inkjet technology.

It’s particularly popular withartists looking to reproducetheir work for sale in Bristol andbeyond, not least becausespecial archival inks are usedwhich are guaranteed not tofade for at least 100 years.Niche can also offer canvas

printing, which has becomeespecially popular in recentyears with customers wishing toblow up well-loved photographsfor wall mounting.

Using the same highresolution flatbed scanners thatthey use for art reproduction,Niche can even restore andretouch precious well-thumbedold photos to ensure they lookas good as new.With all of these services

under one roof it’s notsurprising that Niche has forgedan impressive reputation withthe city’s artists and art lovers.“We’re the go-to art shop for

OFFRAMING

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Bristol’s artists and we workclosely with all the city’s arttrails and events like street artfestival Upfest.” Rupert tells me.“We worked with Upfest

Gallery and Festival recently tocreate Art Parcel, which bringsaffordable and high qualityprints from the UK’s latestartists to your home.”Fledgling business Art Parcel

(www.artparcel.com) encouragesart-lovers to go online and view

the vast selection of urbanprints and photographs fromboth established andup-and-coming artists.Once a picture has been

ordered, it’s printed andhand-finished at Niche to thehighest standards usingtraditional methods.Art Parcel then ensures the

artist receives the royalties fromthat piece of work.“Using Art Parcel ensures you

get a great piece of art, that theartist gets paid properly, andthat it is expertly finished andframed,” says Rupert. “We’reproud to be a part of it.”Finally, the store offers a great

selection of cards for alloccasions by a wide range oflocal and international artists.If you’re bored of the same old

drivel that a lot of the highstreet card chain stores offer,there’s sure to be something

far more fab and funky at Niche.In addition to all of this,

Niche’s customer service reallysets it apart from the rest.“Every customer is important

and we offer an excellent,personal service.“That’s why we get so many

customers returning time andtime again.”

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Once you’ve captured the special moments of your life on camera, don’t leave them ona file on your computer, put them on display with some of these beautiful frames.

YOU’VE BEEN FRAMED

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The grey, rainswept days of winter look like they’re finally drawing to a close, so embrace the spring and summerwith these blooming floral prints.

FLOWER POWER

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Health & Beauty If you need apick-me-up after the winter, try theseideas from the City of Bristol College’sbeauty lecturer, Shenene Gilbert. Sheoffers her top tips for stress-busting,boosting the immune system andhelping you relax and sleep soundly

WIPE OUTWINTERWOES

HEALTH&BEAUTY

When you aredepressedor stressed,you may feelbothphysicallyand mentally

depleted. To combat thesefeelings, try and cut down onstimulants such as caffeine andtobacco, which can exhaust theboth body and mind.1. Try and cut out the

cigarettes and replace yournormal tea and coffee withherbal teas such as chamomile,peppermint and rosemary,which can be purchased fromhealth food shops and manysupermarkets.2. Add a few drops of tea tree

and lemon to a room diffuser tocreate an immune-boostingenvironment and clear bugsfrom your home.3. If you don’t suffer from

sensitive skin or any skinallergies, try creating your ownbath cocktail, which you can do

by purchasing one fresh limeand lemon from your local greengrocers. Cut the fruit into slicesand allow the pieces to float onthe surface of the bath. You canalso squeeze a small amount ofthe juice into the warm water.The exquisite aroma of lemon

and lime zest will fill yourbathroom so be sure to closethe door to keep the fragrancelocked in and light somecandles. This blend will benefityou emotionally by giving you agentle lift as well as detoxifyingthe skin.To complete this experience,

use natural sea salt to exfoliatetired and congested skin. Rub asmall amount of salt into thetops of the legs, buttocks andthighs. (Avoid any areas ofbroken or irritated skin). Thiswill aid circulation and help toreduce cellulite.4. Sign up for swimming, yoga

or another type of exerciseclass: exercise is an excellentway of helping your body get

over those winter months.Physical activity has many

benefits: it will help lower bloodpressure, promote weight loss,help to prevent colds andimprove sleeping patterns, toname but a few.

Sleep and relaxationIf you are having problemsrelaxing, follow our top tips topromote a natural, restful sleep.You can easily purchaseessential oils at very reasonable

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prices either online or on thehigh street. Essential oils can bepurchased either as a pureessential oil, which will need tobe blended with a carrier oilsuch as almond oil, or broughtas a pre-blended oil that is

suitable for self-massage.1. To enhance relaxation and a

deep sleep, try bathing in thefloral combination of lavenderand chamomile. These essentialoils are renowned for theircalming, sedating and deeply

relaxing effects on the bodysystems. Add two to three dropsof each essence to a warm bath;ensure you close the door so thescented steam created does notescape. You could light somecandles, listen to some calmingmusic and remember to turn offyour phone. Allow yourself timeto really switch off as theessential oils work their magic.2. Using the same combination

of essential oils, blend twodrops each of lavender andchamomile in a tablespoon ofalmond oil, lie down and makeyourself comfortable.Pour a small amount of the

blend into your hands (the sizeof five pence), rub your handstogether to warm the oil andapply to the face.Using slow, sweeping

movements to circle the eyes,cheeks, mouth, temples and

forehead, gently massage themuscles of the face, easing awaytension. Repeat the massagefrom the beginning. Avoidcontact with the eyes, but if theoil does seep into the eyes, rinsewith warm water.Once you have completed the

massage, keep your eyes closedand visualise yourself lying bythe side of a stream. Imagineyou can hear birdsong, feel thewarm heat of the sun on yourface. Visualise yourselfcompletely at peace.Finally, visualise the muscles

of your body. Go through eacharea of the body one at a timeand consciously let go of anytension you are holding in themuscles. Take time to do this;don’t rush and stay focused onthe exercise in hand. Do not besurprised if you fall asleepduring this exercise.

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Meet the cool new crop of products causing a stir in planet beauty.

CLEVER COSMETICS

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What if yourwashingmachine wasconnectedto theinternet?That’s the

question the team Londontechnology company Berg Cloudasked themselves not long ago.The answer is a prototype

called Cloudwash(bergcloud.com/case-studies/cloudwash).It’s a working washing

machine that talks to theinternet, and from there to you,wherever you happen to be.You can talk to your washing

machine from your phone. It cansend you an alert when yourwash is done – or you can loadit up before you leave for work,then start the wash cycle byremote control from the officeduring the afternoon, so thateverything’s fresh for when youreturn.There are buttons on the

front of the machine thatautomatically order replacementdetergent and fabric conditionerfrom Amazon.

What’s most interesting aboutBerg’s experiment is that theyused a normal washing machine,and adapted it to talk to thenetwork using extra hardwarethey designed. Those extrawidgets and microchips turn adumb object into a smart object.Those widgets are what Berg’s

business is all about. It doesn’twant to make washingmachines; it wants to makewashing machines smarter.The five-minute film explaining

Cloudwash feels very natural,and doesn’t make thetechnology seem too weird.So while it might seem a bit

over-indulgent to want aninternet-connected washingmachine today, this is probablywhere household goods aregoing tomorrow (ish).Give it another five or ten

years, and everyone will bewondering how on earth theymanaged without smart washingmachines, boilers, and cookers.

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You have all the fancy gadgetry our modern world can throw at you – but unless you have a battery to actuallymake it work, it’s all a bit pointless, isn’t it? Thankfully, portable power stations have the answer.

LEADING THE CHARGE

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For seriousadrenaline junkiesof all ages,TeamSport Bristol,the state-of-the-artgo-kart and lasertag experience,

celebrates a majorrefurbishment, just in time forsome serious springtime racing.Just 20 minutes from the centreof Bristol, it has one ofTeamSport’s longest singletracks in the country – and hasjust taken delivery of a new fleetof state-of-the-art karts.The centre has been totally

revamped by TeamSport, theUK’s biggest and mostsuccessful indoor kart operator.The venue has been completelyoverhauled and rebranded, witha new-look snack bar, newsoundproofed and warmspectator area, smart briefingroom, and fresh health club-stylechanging rooms and showers.Together with stylish conferenceand meeting facilities, this issure to provide the best possiblekarting experience.

TeamSport Bristol’s new, full-size200cc petrol karts tear roundlike rockets. They can reachspeeds of up to 40 miles perhour, but, at just two inches off

the floor, it can feel like twicethat! The 500-metre track has achallenging multi-tier flyover andunderpass, with challengingbends and big drops, for theultimate grand prix buzz.Precision electronic timingsystems, racing suits andhelmets are also part of the deal.Friends, family and colleaguescan take in the action from thecomfort of the viewing gallery.But TeamSport is not just for

fearless grown-ups. Little LewisHamiltons can also show offtheir racing skills in speciallydesigned top-of-the-range“cadet” petrol karts. They caneven celebrate with pals in oneof the track’s party rooms

Revamp for Bristol’s most exciting leisure attraction

(available for hire).TeamSport company director

Dominic Gaynor says: “Karting isthe most driving fun you canhave off the pro circuit. TheTeamSport Bristol trackprovides the best facilities in theSouth West for any wannaberacing drivers out there. ManyFormula 1 drivers started theircareers this way – and driverssuch as Jensen Button still kartregularly.”

In a double thrills special,TeamSport’s amazing laser tagexperience is also housed under

ADVERTISING FEATURE

THE KART TRACKLASER TAG

SPECIAL OFFER

OPENING TIMES:Open seven days a week.

PRICES:Karting: children from £26.99pp (off-peak); adults – from£29.99 pp (off-peak);students, military andemergency servicespersonnel – from £20 ppLasertag: from £4.50 pp(from six years old)

TeamSport Bristol factfilethe same roof. Guests candouble it up with karting for afull day or evening out – or makelike men (or women) on amission and head straight for astandalone shoot-out on thehi-tech laser battlefield.There are multiple tiers to

test the sharpest wits andkeenest reflexes, with cornersto crouch in and open spacesto rush, made even moreexciting with TeamSport’s sci-fiarmoury.Kart and laser-goers can stoke

up their energy afterwards inFuel, the cool track-side snackbar, with its range of deliciousstone-baked pizzas, bruschettas,baguettes and more.TeamSport Bristol is perfect

for corporate team-building andgroup nights out, families, stagand hen parties, or individuals.Driving experience gift vouchersare also available.

GETTING THERE:TeamSport Bristol is atAvonmouth Way, Avonmouth,Bristol BS11 9YA. It is lessthan a minute’s drive fromjunction 18 of the M5 andless than 20 minutes fromBristol city centre. It’s alsoeasily reached by bus or anenergising 18-minute walkfrom Avonmouth railwaystation.

Don’t miss out on the £5 offeron page 2 for all Bristol Postreaders.It is essential to book.

Booking, further informationand special offers are availablevia the hotline: 0844 998 0844and online at:http://www.team-sport.co.uk/bristol

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DAYS OUT

SPRINGTIMEDOWN ONTHE FARM

As the hours ofdaylight startgrowing andtemperaturescreep up, manyof theattractions in or

around Bristol start to get readyfor spring and summer.Nowhere is this more

evident that at Folly Farm,just off the A368 nearPensford.The team there are

gearing up for a busyseries of events designedto help the publicunderstand nature a little bitbetter.The first event to put in your

diary is a Ducks at Dusk andOwl Prowl on Sunday, March 23,at Portbury Wharf.This is another site, like Folly

Farm itself, that is run by theAvon Wildlife Trust, and lies onland between Portishead andRoyal Portbury Dock.The duck and owl event costs

£7 and there’s a family ticket forup to two adults and threechildren priced at £10.It starts at 4pm and will be led

by nature detective Ed Drewitt(pictured, inset) who will leadthe group on a walk encouragingyou to spot different types ofduck in the wetland reserve andalso see if you can spy an owl.Booking early is advised for

this event.

At Folly Farm itself, on April 6– also a Sunday – is an EasterTreats event.This sounds like it’s better for

younger children, and featureswildlife musicians Poco Dromwho will help visitors discover

some of thedifferentcreaturesthat layeggs beforeleading thegroup to asecretwoodlandlocation

where some“springtime

celebrations” willinclude animal songs, storiesand some dancing. “Bring yourwild side” is the instruction fromthe organisers.On Sunday, April 13, nature

expert and broadcaster ChrisSperring is heading up a familybadger watch between 7pm and9pm.On this trip visitors will be

encouraged to stay quiet andmove stealthily as they watchout for badgers at Folly’s ownset.Chris Sperring is also the

leader of an event aimed at earlyrisers, a dawn choruscelebration on Saturday, May 3from 4.30am to 6.30am.If you manage to drag yourself

out of bed, you’ll experience the

full cacophony of sound as thelight creeps over the horizon.Amazingly, 15 to 20 minutes

later the crescendo of noise willdie down and, as you walk

around, you’ll be able to hearindividual birds singing.Plenty of other events are in

the pipeline, such as amidsummer night safari which

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Further afield Perrygrove Railwayand Treetop Adventure Centre

Further AfieldTyntesfield Estate walks

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will involve staying awakeovernight during one evening inJune, getting to know Folly Farmas the sun goes down and as itcomes up, including a bit of

astronomy and wildlife tracking.Prices to be confirmed on that

one, but you’ll be able to findout all the information you needat www.follyfarm.org.

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EATING OUT Reviews by Mark Taylor

Lunch on a budget Hiddengems in a traditional pub

Lunch with the kidsThe Great British café lunch

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Verdict

Dinner for grown-upsThe finest tiramasu in Bristol

Pre-theatre dinner AuthenticSpanish tapas hits the spot

Verdict

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Pub of the week The Vittoria

Food diary

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EATING INWhy offal ismore thanjust a load ofold tripe...

There has been anincreased interest inoffal and nose-to-taileating in recent yearsas more and more chefsand home cooks turn tocheaper ingredients and

traditional dishes.French chef Stéphane Reynaud is a

regular guest on the BBC’s SaturdayKitchen and his latest book brings acollection of nose-to-tail dishes.Each chapter of Stéphane

Reynaud’s Book of Tripe covers adifferent ingredient and includesclear definitions, cooking instructionsand tips on accompaniments.The recipes showcase everything

from traditional dishes to moremodern interpretations includingcurried pork cheeks; pan-fried duckhearts with ginger; and lamb’s liverwith caramelised apples.For serious nose-to-tail fans, there

are recipes for confit gizzards; pigsnouts with walnut oil; lamb tonguefricassée and even spinal cord withoyster mushrooms.There is also a whole chapter on

tripe (part of a cow’s stomach),which was once a staple dish formany people in Britain but now morepopular in France.Stéphane says: “I grew up in a

family of butchers and these were thecuts of meat my grandfather wouldbring home at the end of the day.“There is so much versatility with

offal and the key is to know how tocook it and how to make the most ofthe flavours so forget yourprejudices, go back to the butcherand dare to cook!”This recipe features lamb

sweetbreads, which are the thymusglands of the animal, located behindthe throat. As a gauge of quality,sweetbreads should be as pale aspossible; they are a delicate productto be eaten extra-fresh.Sweetbreads need to be soaked for

two to three hours in cold water sothey lose any trace of blood.“The rarity of sweetbreads and the

delicacy of their flavour make theman exceptional dish and a trueflagship of French cuisine,” saysStéphane.

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TRAVEL

MANOR FROM HEAVENWorld travel Tara Pardo and her family discovered a luxurious haven just a stone’s throw from the Eden Project.

We could hear the rainhammering down andsee the wind bending thetrees outside as webasked in 26C heat in therainforest biome at TheEden Project.

We were standing and, it has to be said,slightly swaying way up on the newrainforest canopy walk. The walk is a work inprogress and will eventually extend aroundthe dome (and include a rope section), butfor now you climb up steel steps to a viewingplatform, all suspended by cables from theroof – hence the movement.The view is impressive and really gives you

a sense of the scale of these biomes, this onefilled with all manner of tropical plants, palmtrees, huge banana plants with leaves twiceas tall as me and an enormous waterfall. Wehad already visited the Mediterraneanbiome, enjoying the fresh scent of the herbs,spotting frogs in the lily pond and learning allabout olive trees, cork and other usefulplants.Next came story time. A woman wearing a

technicolour coat made entirely of ties and

playing an accordion duly arrived to tell us alocal tale that involved the china clayquarries with their big yellow “monsters”and the little sprites that had to find a newhome here on the Eden project site. Thechildren loved it and there was plenty oftoe-tapping and clapping along from theadults too.

Everywhere you look at the Eden projectare fantastic sculptures, fun trails, andeducational messages about theenvironment, what we’re doing to it and whatwe can do to improve it – that’s educationalfor all, no matter how young or old you are.We were staying just a stone’s throw away

(one mile) from the Eden Project at

27��

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woodland); the charm and character – you’llfind wooden beams, twists and turns, theodd wonky floor and a mixture of antiquefurniture and quality contemporary design.But what really knocked our socks off was

the restaurant, run by head chef Jenny Reed,using mainly Cornish produce. Our eatingexperience started in the bar with a slate ofhors d’oeuvres, including warm white onionsoup in a little glass (really delicious).We were then shown to our table in the

intimate, romantic dining room. It was verydifficult to choose from the mouth-wateringmenu (perhaps we should have gone for thetaster menu option). My other half chosefrom the seasonal a la carte menu, while Iopted for a superb value three-course menu.I started with the soup of the day, which

was sweet potato and coconut, whilehusband ordered scallops with butternutsquash risotto and crispy pancetta. I hadfeared the coconut might be too prominent inthe soup but I needn’t have worried. It was anabsolute delight. Husband was equallyimpressed with his scallops and before I’deven managed to ask for a try, had wolfeddown the lot.For the main course, husband had opted

for venison loin while I’d gone with plaicefillets on a niciose salad. They were both, ofcourse, cooked to perfection and the flavourswere exquisite. The venison fillets inparticular were outstanding (this time I gotmy request for a taste in quickly).For children, you can order a smaller

portion of anything on the menu, plus theycan offer a few pasta options and will prettymuch make anything you request that theyhave the ingredients for.Despite our little one being quite sleepy

after an early start and exciting day, shethoroughly enjoyed her chicken breast withmashed potato and broccoli.By the time we got to dessert, our little one

was really flagging, and we decided to call it anight but our helpful waiting staff offered tobring our desserts to our room. So we hadour prune and almond tart with mulled wineand saffron poached pear, and nougatineparfait with citrus salad on a tray and it wasno less delicious for it.The hotel lies just outside the town of St

Austell, and there is so much to see in thisarea of Cornwall. Highlights include The LostGardens of Heligan, Kidzworld, Wheal MartynMuseum, St Austell Brewery, RoselandObservatory, Charlestown Shipwreck andHeritage Museum, the Monkey Sanctuary,and of course the fabulous coastal walks,pretty little ports, coves and beaches.We spent our last hours before heading

home having a great time in the sunshine andshowers on a nearby beach. With so manyindoor and outdoor attractions on offer,there’s really no need to save Cornwall forthe summer.

Boscundle Manor, a truly beautifulindependently run country house hotel withan exquisite restaurant, 14 individuallydesigned and delightful rooms, and even apool and spa treatments in the Zento room.The hotel has a luxurious yet homely feel,

with beautiful and thoughtful toucheseverywhere. Every time I turned around I feltI was looking at a scene straight from thepages of a high-end glossy magazine. Despitethis, the hotel makes a point of welcomingchildren, even providing pint-sized fluffydressing gowns to match mum and dad’s andlittle wellies ready for action beside the frontdoor.We had arrived in the dark and wet to a

warm welcome, a roaring log fire in thelounge, and an enormous soft bed in ourspacious suite of rooms. All the rooms arenamed after female authors and heroines andours was Daphne (there is also The Cottageand The Charlotte garden suite in thegrounds). Our room included a living roomwith sofabed, a large bedroom with a 6ft bed,another little room with tea andcoffee-making area and fridge stocked withfresh milk, and a spacious, modern bathroomwith a large free-standing bath and anenormous rainforest shower stocked withMolton Brown toiletries. Of course, the manyother facilities include free wi-fi, flat screenTV, hairdryer, iron and ironing board.Over the course of the next couple of days,

sentences between my husband and I wereoften started with the phrase “What I loveabout this hotel is…” Those sentences endedwith things like: the amount of space in theroom; the full English breakfast is deliciousbut not greasy; the beautiful gardens (thereare actually five acres of gardens and

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www.chauffeurhireplus.co.uk Chauffeurhire CoachesThe Coach Stop, 1 Hounds Rd, Chipping Sodbury. BS37 6EE

Door2Door Holidays 2014

Call 01454 319047 to book your holiday now! Further details available on our website or callfor a brochure.*Single room supplements apply

West Coast of Ireland21st-27th September

WWI Battlefield Menen, Belgium13th-17th October

Our base for this trip is Westport, Co. Mayo. Wewill visit Kylemore Abbey and go on a mysterytour with additional visits. You will have afree day to explore Westport. The hotel willprovide entertainment each evening.

Visit the Flanders Field Museum in Ypesincluding a guided tour of The FlandersBattlefields, and see The Menin Gate for theSunset ceremony and Last Post. There will bean opportunity to sightsee in Bruges en-route.

Our base for this trip is Westport, Co. Mayo. We will visit Kylemore Abbey and go on a mystery

Sunset ceremony and Last Post. There will be an opportunity to sightsee in Bruges

7 DaysHalf Board£570*

Menen, Belgium

Battlefields, and see The Menin Gate for the Sunset ceremony and Last Post. There will be

en-route.


Keukenhof FlowerFestival 2nd - 6th May

Sound of Music TourAustria 8th - 14th June

The Norfolk Broads25th - 29th August

Sound of Music TourAustria 13th - 19th July

York at Christmas11th - 14th December

The Lake District26th - 30th May

The Edinburgh Tattoo(incl. tickets) 8th - 11th August

A Different Isle ofMan 5th - 9th July

Northumberland4th - 8th September

Explore the Keukenhof Gardens,Holland, and watch the flowerparade go by. Other days will bespent on a steam train ride fromHoorn, visiting the fishing villageof Volendam and on a glass topboat trip in Amsterdam(payable on day).

Our base for this stay is StGeorgen im Attergau, Austria. Thetrip includes, a full day excursionto Salzburg, visits to the village ofMondsee, the town of St Wolfgangand (for the brave) an optional tripon the Schafberg MountainCog Railway.

On the way to Norwich we stop fora guided tour of the National Stud.We will visit Sandringham, go on aboat trip on the Broads, ride on thenarrow gauge Bure Valley Railwayand visit Ely Cathedral (payable onday). There will also be free timein Norwich.

Our base for this stay is St Georgenim Attergau, Austria. The tripincludes, a full day excursion toSalzburg, visits to the village ofMondsee, the town of St Wolfgangand (for the brave) an optional tripon the Schafberg MountainCog Railway.

Our hotel for this holiday is rightin the heart of York. You will havefree time to explore the city andit’s many attractions. We will alsovisit Castle Howard, the housewhere Brideshead revisited wasfilmed, which will be decoratedfor Christmas.

This action packed break includescruises on both Windermereand Ullswater and rides on theHaverthwaite Steam Railway andRavenglass & Esdale narrowgauge steam railway. We willalso be visiting Muncaster Castleand Owl Centre.

Experience this spectacular eventagainst the stunning backdrop ofEdinburgh Castle. We also hopeto visit the Royal Yatch Brittannia,travel on the open top tour bus,take a day trip to Stirling via LochLomond and ride on TheFalkirk Wheel.

A local guide will take us to theunusual places, off the touristmap, including The Fairy Bridge.The holiday icludes a ride on theelectric tram to Laxey, a trip upSnaefell mountain on the train anda steam train ride from Port Erinto Douglas.

Staying in Durham on the banks ofthe river Wear, we will go back intime for an all day visit to BeamishLiving history museum, travel to thepretty town of Barnard Castle and visitThe Bowes Museum and Crook HallGardens. We stop in York for lunch onthe journey home.

boat trip in Amsterdam .


on the Schafberg Mountain

SOLDOUT

on the Schafberg Mountain Cog Railway.

also be visiting Muncaster Castle


Lomond and ride on The


a steam train ride from Port Erin


Gardens. We stop in York for lunch on the journey home.


on the Schafberg Mountain


filmed, which will be decorated


Due to demand!

Berlin-Colditz andDresden 18th - 24th July

Follow a two hour walking tourof Berlin. Visit Schloss Colditz theinfamous WW11 prison of war campwith a guided tour which includes theescape museum. Enjoy a free dayin Dresden. Outbound we travel viaLiege, Belgium and we returnvia Aachen.Liege, Belgium and we return


day). There will also be free time

SOLDOUT

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Festival will have the full flavour of the Big Easy

As a rule there’ssomethingtentative aboutthe first time afestival happens,but last year’sdebut for the

Bristol International Jazz &Blues Festival swooped into theColston Hall like it alreadyowned the place.Over the three-day weekend

some 6,000 visitors thronged thebuilding, with big-namemusic in both halls aswell as a freeprogramme in thefoyer and late nightjam sessions in theupstairs bar. Thejoint was certainlyjumping.There’s every sign

that year two will be aneven bigger occasion. Onestrong feature of the 2014programme is a leaning towardsNew Orleans – the city thatnurtured jazz a century ago.That’s hardly surprising, of

course, since festival patronLillian Boutté is also the officialMusical Ambassador for the BigEasy itself. A glorious singer ofjazz and soul herself, Lillian isteaming up with trombonistChris Barber, the godfather ofthe UK’s trad jazz revival in theFifties, for a night of New

Orleans-style gospel (Sunday).Saturday sees fellow New

Orleanian Evan Christopher’sDjango à la Créole imagine whatmight have happened if swingguitar genius Django Reinhardthad fetched up in Louisiana,with Christopher’s soaringclarinet infused with the soul ofSidney Bechet.It’ll be a great way to warm up

the evening for the wonderfullynamed Zigaboo Modeliste,

drumming ace from thelegendary Meterswhose slinkyswamp-funk jazzremainsunrivalled forhip-grabbingrhythms courtesyof the mightyZigabou himself,

appearing here withhis band The Big Chiefs.

But when it comes to funkthere’s one name that rules andit is, of course, James Brown.Last year’s festival saw a fine

set from the man’s some-timesaxophonist, bandleader andcomposer Pee Wee Ellis but thehighlight of Saturday night willsurely be when Pee Wee(another festival patron) returnswith fellow JB alumnus FredWesley, the trombonist who alsoled Brown’s band and went onto work with George

“Funkadelic” Clinton. Their FunkAll Stars set will raise the roof inthe main hall for sure. The twomen will also appear at theWatershed on Friday night todiscuss the film The Night JamesBrown Saved Chicago.For those who prefer their

music sitting down, however,the weekend has many treats instore, with two larger scaleevents having a particularlyclassy ring. Saturday afternoonsees a tribute to the greatGeorge Gershwin thatfeatures speciallycommissionedarrangements forthree choirs (that’s150 singers) plus abig band and,among other greatsoloists, the classicjazz vocals of JacquiDankworth (inset left).Sunday’s celebration of jazz

piano genius Bill Evans will bebrought to life by UK star KateWilliams and her trio playingnew orchestral arrangementswith the Bristol Ensemble.Guitar lovers will have their

eye on three big names withvery contrasting styles: JimMullen (Sunday) is one of thebest jazz guitarists the UK hasproduced and appears with hisvery grooving organ trio, whilecontemporary jazz player John

Parricelli (Friday) reprises hisPS duo with saxophonist AndySheppard.Finally there’s US blues master

Elliot Randall (Saturday), bestknown as one of the originalmembers of Steely Dan whoseripsnorting solo on Reelin’ InThe Years remains a classic rockmoment. Andy makes a secondduo appearance on Sunday withphenomenal Frenchpercussionist Michele Rabbia.

There’s plenty morelocal heroes, of course,including theBruce/Ilett Big Bandhosting a night ofswing dance(Friday) andinternationaljazz-hop pioneersGet The Blessing

launching their newalbum (Sunday). The

cream of the local scene will bemaking non-stop live jazz andblues in the Foyer all weekend,while the whole shebang roundsoff rather gloriously on Sundaynight when impeccable Irishswingabilly queen Imelda May(above) sells out the big hall.It’s a packed programme –

over 40 acts in just over 50hours – but for any of Bristol’sjazz-loving hepcats that have thestamina, it will be another greatweekend to remember.

MUSIC��

32

An impressive past, an even more exciting future

Thisweekend sees one of Bristol’smost famous venues re-launchedfor a new era. To generations ofmusic lovers, the Trinity Centreis a cultural landmark as iconic asthe Suspension Bridge.Built in 1829 in the neo-gothic

style, it was a place of worship forwell over acentury before it fell into disuse and disrepair.Re-opening in 1978 as a community centre,

Trinity developed a reputation as a hotbed ofmusical activity. Reggae soundsystemdanceshave been amainstay ever since, and thevenue’s played its part in everymajormovement in Bristolmusic from the agit-funk ofThe PopGroup to the drumandbass of RoniSize andCo.It has alsowelcomed live acts as varied as

U2, Public Enemy, The Prodigy andNewOrderover the years.As part of the changesmade over the last few

months the upstairs hall has been refurbishedto create awelcoming 300-capacityperformance space, soundproofed byceiling-to-floor curtains andwinter-proofed byunderfloor heating.The space has already been road-testedwith

a theatre production (RJ Lloyd andMatthewGreenfield’sCreepy Pasta), while plans for thefuture include sit-down concerts, comedyshows, weddings and conferences.Saturday’s official re-launch has been

programmed to perfection. It’s verymuch agame of two halves, and you can buy tickets forone, the other or both.First up is a concert by Adrian Utley’s Guitar

Orchestra – expected to launch the upstairsspace in stylewith a performance of TerryRiley’s 1964minimalistmasterpiece In C. TheGuitar Orchestra – a crack teamof electricguitarists, organists and othermusicians –wasassembled by Portisheadmember Utleyespecially to perform the Riley piece, and their2013 concert at St George’s has since beenreleased as an album.Saturday’s ensemble includesmembers of

some of theWest’smost loved bands includingThought Forms, Get the Blessing andTheBlueAeroplanes.Taking place in the 800-capacitymain hall

with its handsome newbar, the after-party isheadlined by Smith andMighty, architects ofthe Eighties andNineties Bristol Soundwhoseback catalogue spans deconstructed standards(WalkOnBy), bass-heavyUK garage (B-Line FiBlow) and the dubbed-out jungle of side projectMore Rockers.Also playing are Peverelist andAsusu of

Livity Sound, whose experiments at theconfluence of techno, house and dubstepwererecently collected on a killer self-titledcompilation.Bridging the two events are Young Echo, a

mercurial collectivewhose output ranges fromambient noise to dubstep and grime.With a live showupstairs followed by aDJ set

at the after-party, Young Echo’s inclusion in thisline-up of local heroes sends a clearmessage.The new-look Trinity is as excited about thefuture of Bristolmusic as it is proud of its past.

AdamBurrows

33

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4040Weekend From Friday, March 7, 2014

FILM

Vengeful Eva strikes back at the empire

Verdict�� ’� ��

Pecs flex, torsos ripple andbearded men growl, but it’s awoman scorned who spills themost blood in Noam Munro’sturgid sequel (of sorts) to the2007 swords and sandals epic.Based on Frank Miller’s

graphic novel Xerxes, 300: Rise Of An Empireunfolds before, during and after the fierceBattle of Thermopylae chronicled in the firstfilm.Zack Snyder, who helmed the original and

has since madeWatchmen andMan Of Steel,defers the director’s throne to Noam Munro.He continues the heavily stylised,slow-motion slaughter and eye-poppingproduction design.Once again, colours are saturated and the

contrast between light and dark intensified,although jettisons of blood have lost theirrich scarlet hue in the sequel, presumably toguarantee a 15 certificate given the profusionof decapitations and dismemberments.Carnage is unrelenting, as are the legions

of swaggering beefcakes with impressivesweat-glistened six-packs, who allow theirperfect gym-toned bodies to be impaled andmaimed as they fight for the honour of

Persia and Greece. Spartan Queen Gorgo(Lena Headey) is both protagonist andnarrator, succinctly summing up events atMarathon where courageous Greek generalThemistokles (Sullivan Stapleton) fires thearrow that slays Persian King Darius (IgalNaor) in front of his son, Prince Xerxes(Rodrigo Santoro).“It was Darius’s son Xerxes’s eyes that had

the stink of destiny about them,” remarksGorgo, exemplifying the overblownfloweriness of the script.Darius’s adopted daughter Artemesia (Eva

Green), who was raped and discarded byGreek soldiers, pledges to avenge the king.She masterfully manipulates Xerxes in his

hour of grief, transforming the weak-willedmortal into a strutting God-King, then leadsthe Persians into battle on the high seaswhile Xerxes overcomes King Leonidas(Gerard Butler) at Thermopylae.All that stands between Artemesia’s vast

armada is a few hundred boats under thecommand of Themistokles, flanked by closefriend Aeskylos (Hans Matheson), bravewarrior Scyllias (Callan Murphy) and his sonCalisto (Jack O‘Connell).300: Rise Of An Empire intercuts footage

from the first film with the breathtakingaction at sea. Clashes between the Greek andPersian ships are choreographed withaplomb and the 3D format comes into itsown as hulls smash through the bellies ofenemy ships.But Stapleton fails to fill Butler’s huge

sandals. He has neither the imposingphysical presence nor the deep growl of hispredecessor so when Themistokles deliversa rousing call to arms – “Let it be shown thatwe chose to live on our feet rather than dieon our knees!” – our blood isn’t even slightlystirred.Green is more convincing as a vengeful

harpie, who gleefully cuts off the head of anunderperforming subordinate then steals afinal kiss before tossing the dripping nogginat the camera.Date her at your peril.

41From Friday, March 7, 2014 Weekend 41

A grand tour around a madcap European crime caper

Verdict� �� ’� ��

WhenWes Anderson isgood, he’s very good –dare I say it, brilliant –and when he’soccasionally off-key, theTexan writer-directorstill puts other

filmmakers in the shade.The Grand Budapest Hotel is a tour-de-force

of invention and creativity that leaves nonarrative stone unturned in its quest forlaughs and heartfelt emotion.Anderson is in sparkling form, tracing the

history of the titular establishment from 1932to the present day through the eyes of twolovers, who become embroiled in a crimecaper involving a stolen painting.It’s a brilliantly bonkers ensemble comedy

from a filmmaker whomarries quirkyproduction design with eccentric charactersand wry humour, yet still manages to find anub of humanity in every outlandishsituation.Andersonmarshals an incredible cast

including regular collaborators OwenWilson,Jason Schwartzman and Bill Murray, plus heteases out an uproarious and energeticperformance from Ralph Fiennes as the suaveprotagonist at the centre of the mystery. The

British actor’s comic timing is impeccable.Nightmares conjured by his portrayals ofAmon Goeth in Schindler’s List or Voldemortin the Harry Potter saga are banished forever.A neat framing device introduces Zero

Moustafa (Tony Tevolori), who secures acoveted position as lobby boy at one ofeastern Europe’s celebrated establishments,the Grand Budapest Hotel in the Republic ofZubrowka.Zero works under legendary concierge

Gustave H (Fiennes), who the lobby boyremembers as “the most liberally perfumedman I’ve ever met”.Clients, especially older women, are putty

in Gustave’s well-manicured hands and helavishes themwith affection, including ageingmatriarchMadame D (Tilda Swinton).When she perishes in suspicious

circumstances and leaves a pricelessRenaissance painting entitled BoyWith Appleto Gustave in her will, grief-stricken relativesincluding Madame’s greedy son Dmitri(Adrien Brody) plot the concierge’s downfall.The finger of suspicion for Madame D’s

demise points at Gustave and he goes on therun with wily police chief Henckels (EdwardNorton) and Dmitri’s sadistic henchman(Willem Dafoe) in hot pursuit.

With the continent changing at frighteningspeed, Gustave and accomplice Zero attemptto outwit their pursuers and prove theconcierge’s innocence, aided by a prettybaker’s assistant called Agatha (SaoirseRonan).The Grand Budapest Hotel offers audiences

a luxurious five-star stay inside Anderson’svision. Every frame is beautifully crafted, setto a jaunty score by composer AlexandreDesplat.If Fiennes is a revelation in a rare comedic

role, supporting performances are equallymemorable including Swinton’s cranky granddame and Jeff Goldblum’s ill-fated lawyer.Bookmarked into five chapters, the narrativetwists and turns at delirious speed.“The plot thickens, so they say. Why? Is it a

soupmetaphor?” wonders Gustave aloud asthe truth about Madame D’s death comesinto focus – and we lap up every sublimesoupymetaphor with gusto.

42

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Verdict

Jealousy, fear and themenace of Simon Cowelltest the bonds of fraternallove in Cal Brunker’suninspiredcomputer-animatedadventure.

Establishing a brisk tone from thestart, Escape From Planet Earth charts apredictable course from conflict toreconciliation as feuding alien siblingsput their differences aside to overcomethe galaxy’s great menace: man.A bright colour palette and cute

otherworldly characters should holdthe interest of younger viewers whorelish slapstick and armpit farts with

their mawkish sentiment.However, Brunker’s script doesn’t cater

for older audiences. There are no closeencounters with laugh-out-loud gags andthe rickety plot has been dusted off fromthe vaults of Area 51.Parents who blast off for this routine

mission with excitable children shouldexpect to drift pleasantly into hypersleepwell before the 86 minutes are up.Escape From Planet Earth never

threatens to reach warp speed as Garyrealises that true heroism is protectingthe people you love.The animation throughout is pristine,

albeit lacking in personality, while vocalperformances are solid, including Ricky

Gervais as a sarcastic BASA computer.Corddry essays a likeable hero while

Fraser purrs as the egotistical golden boy,who always has one eye on his lucrativesponsorship deal with Scorchio’s cereal,which promises “a surprise in every box”.Regrettably, there aren’t any in

Brunker’s film.

44Weekend From Friday, March 7, 2014

THEATRE

Playwright PhilipRidley has alwayshad a clear eyefor the emotionalchallenges ofyouth and youngadulthood, and

for the traps and pitfalls set bymodern life.His play Leaves of Glass

centred on a young man whoseems to have everything –beautiful wife, successfulbusiness, baby on the way –until the surfacing of a shockingfamily secret that erodes thefamily from the inside out.Vincent River, meanwhile, pittedtogether two unlikelycompanions – a harsh, eccentricmother with a soft interior, anda mixed-up youth, throwntogether in an East End flat.Ridley’s latest – which gets a

run at the Tobacco FactoryTheatres from next week,courtesy of top-drawer theatreproducers Supporting Wall –heads to some even rawerplaces than his previous work.Dark Vanilla Jungle is a tensedrama about one girl’s cravingfor family and home – and thelengths she’ll go to to achieve

them. And it draws on sometroubling themes – includinggang culture, femaleobjectification and the impact oftrauma on young people.Gemma Whelan – known to fansof the hit TV series Game ofThrones for her role as thewarrior princess Yara Greyjoy –plays Andrea, the piece’s chiefprotagonist. And it’s achallenging role – but one inwhich she’s revelling.“It certainly is demanding, but

it’s a real treat as a performer tobe permitted to push yourselfto the edges – and this playcertainly does that,” Gemmareveals. “It’s exhausting, butalso cathartic and liberating. It’squite different to anything I’vedone before, but I wasimmediately drawn to thecharacter – and I had a sensethat, with the right direction, Imight be able to bring thatcharacter to life.”Andrea has to survive one

horror after another, andcommits one or two horrificacts herself... so does theaudience feel any empathy withher, or merely look on appalled?“I hope that Andrea’s story

Gemma’s glimmer of light out of the dark

provokes some interestingdebate. She may appear tostagger from one dreadfulsituation to another, but I hopeaudiences see both sides of hersituation. Yes, she’s makingterrible misjudgements andmistakes, but she is sodesperate to be loved andaccepted that her actions,though at times horrific, domake some sense.”And is there light among all

the darkness for Andrea, andsome crumb of comfort foraudiences to take away in thisportrayal of a grim, brutal andselfish world?“Perhaps not in the play itself,

as it heads to some very darkplaces! But it’s based onresearch around real issuesfacing some young women inthis country. The hope is thatwe can help make thesesituations Andrea faces lessprevalent in our owncommunities.”Coming to this play on the

back of her much-praisedperformances in Game ofThrones, Gemma has someinteresting thoughts about thetwo very different disciplines of

stage and screen acting.“They are such different

mediums. With a play, you getto develop the character anddeepen your understanding ofthe journey they are on and thechoices they make. Every timeyou perform a play there is anopportunity to try new things –and every audience reactsdifferently, which keeps theperformance alive.“Screen acting is much more

instant: you rehearse, perform afew lines and then you mighthave to do it again because ofcamera angles, line fluffs, or justto ‘have options’ for the edit. Intheatre, you don’t get theseoptions – you’re forced to makethose decisions in the momentwhich is exhilarating.”As for Game of Thrones itself,

Gemma feels lucky to be part ofthe small-screen phenomenon.“I’ve learned an extraordinary

amount and worked with somewonderfully talented people. If ithas changed me, though – it’sall about going from project toproject and hoping that the nextthing you work on is as excitingas the last.” Which is certainly abox she’s been able to tick here.

46

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Don’t miss TheInnocent Mistress

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50

A journey through cancer and out the other side

ART

Graphic designerAshley Green hasfound a uniqueway of usingcreativity as apath throughdifficult times.

Back in 1991, Ashley was firstdiagnosedwith a rare form ofcancer in the roof of hismouth,whichwas treated successfully.In early 2011, though, the

cancer returned and Ashleyunderwent extensive surgery,followed by sevenweeks ofradiotherapy at The RoyalMarsden Hospital in London.Ashleymade a decision before

the radiotherapy started – to takea set of photographs on each ofthe 30 days of his treatment. Hetook 30 images on the first day, 29on day two and so forth –finishing with one lone photo onday 30. The result is a collectionof 465 images from a two-monthperiod – and an exhaustivedocument of a hugely important

period in oneman’s life.But why did he do it? “I wanted

to remember what I was told andwhat happened; what I saw, whatI did and, of course, how I felt,”Ashley explains. “Doingsomething creative helpedmesee things in a positive way andallowedme to producesomething of value. And it gaveme a small amount of control in asituation that frequently felt along way out of control.”As Ashley explains, the final

collection features amix ofsimple snaps and othermorecomposed shots.“It’s a life that involved cancer

at that particular time, but it’sstill a life lived day to day, and theimages feature things we all seeevery day – socks, shirts, faces,places.”The sevenweeks straddled

December 2011 and January2012, and include Christmas inLondonwith Ashley’s wife Laraand six-year-old son Rowan.Elsewhere, though, the days tookon a routine of their own.“I would travel down from

Shropshire on aMondaymorningon the train, have treatment forabout 15minutes each day, and

then come home again on aFriday afternoon. The rest ofeach daywas up tome to fill –but, being based in Chelsea, oneof themost expensive places inthe country, I was keen to keepthe costs down.”Many pictures show the inside

of Ashley’s friend’s flat, where hestayed until Christmas.“I spentmany hours there,

relaxing and recovering from theradiotherapy. I have a very sweettooth so there are quite a fewpictures of cakes, mugs of hotchocolate and, in the run up toChristmas, mince pies.“I also spent a lot of time in free

museums like the V&A andNatural HistoryMuseum, whichare both close to theMarsden.“The tiles in the V&A café are

beautiful, and because theyserved up a lovely soft fish piethat packed in the calories andwas easy to swallow, I wouldspend hours just sitting thereeating, sketching andwritingmyjournal. I probably spent about 60hours on trains in total, so thereare a good number of photos ofstations and the passing scenery.And, because it was Christmasthere are photos ofmy family,

warm fires, presents, andrelaxing.“There are also photos ofmy

face where the radiotherapywasbeing delivered, showing theincreasing amount of skin burn –one of the treatment’smain sideeffects.“When the exhibition was

installed for the first timesomeone commented, ‘It’s greatto see that cancer is such anormal part of life’. Many of uswill go through a combination ofdiagnosis, surgery, and treatmentin our lives because, as onesurgeon said tome, ‘Cancer is afundamental part of humanexistence’.“So I hope that visitors will see

the photos and realise thatcancer can affect your life in apositive way – evaluatingrelationships and understandingwhat peoplemean to us,appreciating sunshine on a treeor a simple sausage andmashmeal, ormeeting other patientsand getting inspiration from themtomove forwards.When you’retold ‘You’ve got cancer’, itdoesn’t have to be all bad.”

51

Don’t miss Show & Tell

LISTINGS

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BOOKS

A friendly helper for new mums

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My Life inAgony

Bristol GP DrClaireWinstanleywrote BabiesAll Wrapped Upas “anall-encompassing

source of up-to-date, but downto earth newborn information”.Aimed at first-time parents,

this is the book the authorwished for as a new mother.She explains: “I have writtenthis book as, after the birth ofmy first child, I sat on myhospital bed and felt totallyoverwhelmed. Although I hadread some baby books I stillfelt bereft of decentinformation; even as apractising GP.“This is the book I wanted

and needed when I sat therewondering what to do next. It

prepares the mother for whathappens to her own body justafter the birth – a time fewpeople talk about. This bookgives parents options on howto look after the newborn andyoung baby from the offset.“I wanted to produce a

completely invaluable manualfor the first-time parentwithout losing any of thewarmth and cosiness felt whena baby arrives.“It’s a bit like listening to a

well-meaning friend who alsohappens to be a family GP withhelpful tips to hand.”A mother of three, Dr

Winstanley is based at TheWhiteladies Health Centre inClifton and spent three yearspainstakingly researching thebest medical advice from awealth of midwives,

paediatricians and specialistconsultants.The resulting book covers all

aspects of late pregnancy(such as what to pack forhospital and when) rightthrough to night-time feeds,weaning, health and safety athome and ailment informationfor babies and young children.Importantly, it concentratesnot only on information aboutbaby, but also helpful tips formum and dad too, whensurviving those early stages ofparenthood.Babies All Wrapped Up offers

succinct information ineasy-to-find chapters and it hasbeen deliberately designed tofit neatly into a changing bag,so all the information newparents need is readily to handeven when on the go.

57

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PROPERTY

STABLE STYLE

The Stables is an excellentexample of how to blendtraditional features withcontemporary style andconvenience. With it’s stonewalls, exposed ceiling beams,flagstone floors, a huge

inglenook fireplace and a big

“farmhouse-like” kitchen complete with Aga,there’s certainly plenty of character.But the pale decor, sleek bathroom suites

and practical layout demanded bymodernfamilies tick yet more boxes.Converted around 18 years ago, this

unique home is surrounded by countryside,while the large landscaped garden includes

formal lawns and a delightful timber summerhouse.At the front of the property is a

kitchen/diner where the Aga iscomplemented by an electric Aga (perhapsmore suitable for cooking during the warmermonths) and several integrated appliances,including a dishwasher and fridge.

Property of the week The Stables, Compton Dando

59

The solid wood John Lewis cupboard unitsare covered by pale work surfaces, andunderfoot the flagstone continue in the diningarea. There are exposed beams here too, andplenty of space for a family-sized dining table,while French doors open to the front garden.To the side and the rear of the ground floor

is the main living accommodation, including afamily room and a dual aspect drawing room,with exposed stone fireplace housing alog-burner and a window seat set into therear-facing bay window.For formal meals, there’s a separate dining

roomwith French doors to the rear gardenand elsewhere is a utility room, with space fora washing machine and fridge, and aluxuriously fitted, contemporaryWC.All four bedrooms are upstairs – all the

better to enjoy those countryside views.

Themaster suite has a smart en suitebath/shower room and several built-inwardrobes, while the family bathroom hasbeen finished to an excellent standard, with asuite from Ripples that includes a roll-topbath and walk-in shower cubicle.The boundary of the property is secured

with electric gates that open to a privatedriveway and a double garage to the sidewith storage under the eaves.Backing on to farmland, the rear garden

measures approximately 26m (85ft) x 26m(85ft) and has an array of shrubs and flowerbeds, a pond, a wide paved terrace and awooden lodge ideal for summer parties.

60

Solve your space problems with a personalised shed

Storage is achallenge whichhaunts us at everystage of life. Westart early with theneed to storegames, toys and

other childish things. Later, addsurfboards, skateboards, andbikes. If children come into ourlives we try to shed a few things,usually unsuccessfully, whiletaking on the extra challenge ofbuggies, bike carriers and, yes,finally coming back full circle togames toys and other childishthings!Whichever stage you are at

there is never quite enoughspace.Where does it all go?Cupboards and clever storagesolutions from Scandinavia canhelp. The attic is another option,if it hasn’t been converted. Thenthere’s always the cupboardunder the stairs. One last resortis the garden shed.If you haven’t taken this over

for one of the classic uses, suchas writing or thinking space orI-just-want-to-be-alone space,then this can be a realistic option.Sheds come in all sizes and

shapes. If you don’t have onealready I would say that even thesmallest garden has space to fitone in.We design and build shedsspecifically to fit into small orawkward spaces.Rather than accepting a

standard shape, which doesn’tquite fit, a bespoke shed can bearranged to suit the confines of atight corner without ruining thespace.A dark corner of the garden is a

good position for a shed. Thisfirst example is a combination ofwriting space and storage space.Themain shed sits in a shadycorner. The roof behind is glazedto let light into the shed. The sidewings are easily accessed fromthemain shed and give amplestorage options. Attached to theside is a small glass bike store(main image). The idea here is touse the space for bike storageduring the winter, but to convertto a greenhouse in the spring toraise plants for the garden.In the second example (inset),

wemade a robust shedwithdouble doors for easy access forbikes.We also glazed the cornerto allow sun into the space,

which could then be used as asummer house, with the doorsclosed, or as a shady shelter, withthe doors thrown open in thesummer. The bench lives outsideunder a pergola when the bikesare in winter storage.The options for storage are

limited only by your imagination.Recently a customer wantedstorage for tools, bikes andgarden furniture. The availablespace was long and thin. Theywanted three separate shedsjoined together to look like beachhuts. Great idea.We looked for some standard

units online, but decided that we

wouldmake the sheds fromscratch, as the units availabledidn’t come in useful sizes. Oncefinished, the customer got outher paintbrush and usingcolouredwoodstains gave eachbeach hut an individualtreatment. The final result wascheerful as well as functional.

For advice ongarden design,contact Tom viawww.allgardendesigns.co.uk,or call 0117 9511923, or 07739456765.

62

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Looking for some deals to spruce up your home? Alison Cork, from HomesAndBargains.co.uk, has put together these latest offers.

STAIRWAY TO HEAVEN

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With five showroomsthroughout the regionand its main office and

central warehouse in Clevedon,Timbercraft has much to offercustomers from Bristol andbeyond.Through the network of

showrooms we offer a superbrange of kitchens, bathroomsand bedrooms, with a strongemphasis on quality.Above all else, our fitting

service is fully comprehensive,so that clients know they willonly ever need to deal withone company to resolve allissues regarding their project.We have built up a robustsystem of checking each orderto minimise errors and asuperior level of sitesupervision so that every jobis thoroughly surveyed beforeany orders are placed forgoods.For each project there is a

designated installer overseenby an experienced projectmanager and backed byin-house customer servicesstaff.

If you are looking to replaceyour kitchen, bathroom orbedroom, then pay us a visit.The showrooms are all

designed with the customer inmind and, where possible, wehave set up “rooms” tosimulate a real kitchen,bathroom or bedroom.Our showroom-based

specialist designers are highlytrained and have a wealth ofexperience, so they will make iteasy for you to envisage yourhome as it could be in thefuture. You will find the showrooms very relaxing places,with helpful, experienced staffwho allow visitors to browse inpeace.

Our designer’s advice to youwill be entirely free. Ourmethod of operation is to visityour home to take a detailedbrief of your intended project.Measurements, often

supported by photographs,will be taken of the existingspace, which are kept on file sothe designers can accuratelyplan your updated room.You will then be invited back

to one of the showrooms,where the designer will presentideas to you in detail, usingfull-colour computerisedimagery which means you willbe able to “see” the finishedproduct.This is your opportunity to

fine tune the details, so that ascheme can be finalised whichfulfils all your requirements.At this juncture the designer

will be able to discuss costs insome detail with you anddifferent options can beexamined to achieve what youwant at a suitable price. At notime will you be pressurised togo ahead with something youare not entirely happy with.

Whatever your needs, we have a fully-comprehensive solution

For many years now we haveoffered a fully comprehensiveinstallation service in contrastto many of our competitors,who are only set up to handlethe core installation work.Long ago we came to

recognise that people wouldprefer to deal with onecompany, who can do all thework, so that they do not haveto deal individually withtradesmen, whose workschedules may be difficult toco-ordinate.Very often we come across

kitchens or bathrooms, wherea small amount of buildingwork is required, for example a

wall needs removing or an areaneeds plastering.This is often inconvenient as

this work must be completedbefore the main installationworks can start.We spend a long time

scheduling each project, sothat, wherever possible, onejob can move seamlessly to thenext, with absolutely minimaldisruption. We also offer acomprehensive decorating andtiling service to ensure that allprojects can be supervised andcompleted by us.When customers decide to

proceed with us, we alwaysgive them a schedule for theweek the work will commence.Shortly after placing an

order, one of our projectmanagers will visit your hometo run through the job withyou.Just before the work is due

to proceed, a customerservices manager contacts youto confirm the start time.The customer service

manager is your main point ofcontact and will be in regularcontact throughout theproject.One of our project managers

will oversee the work. They areall experienced installers andare ultimately responsible forensuring that our very highstandards are maintained.Whatever your needs – a

kitchen, bedroom or bathroom– Timbercraft can provide theanswers with care andprofessionalism.

ADVERTISING FEATURE

SHOWROOMS

DESIGN SERVICE

INSTALLATION

FACTFILE

ShowroomsClevedon: 21-25 AlexandraRd; tel: 01275 872431.Keynsham: 29 High Street;tel: 0117 986 1896.Patchway: 69 GloucesterRoad; tel: 0117 904 6352.Thornbury: 44 High Street;tel: 01454 281002.Wells: Units 3-4 Jocelyn Drive;tel: 01749 678140.Web: www.timbercraft.co.ukEmail:[email protected] times: Monday toFriday, 9.30am to 5pm;Saturday 10am to 4pm.

TIMBERCRAFT

65

TELEVISION

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6.00 Breakfast (S,HD). 10.00 SaturdayKitchen Live (S,HD). 11.30 Mary BerryCooks (R,S,HD). 12.00 Football Focus(S,HD). 12.45 Saturday Sportsday (S,HD).1.00 BBC News; Regional News andWeather (S,HD). 1.15 Bargain Hunt(R,S,HD). 2.00 Live Six Nations RugbyUnion (S,HD). 4.25 BBC News; RegionalNews and Weather (S,HD). 4.40 Live SixNations Rugby Union (S,HD). Scotland vFrance (Kick-off 5.00pm).

7.00 The Voice UK (S,HD). 9/14. SeeChoices Above.

9.10 The National Lottery Live(S,HD). Kate Garraway revealsthe results.

9.20 Casualty (S,HD). 28/48. Lofty’skeen eye helps save a youngman.

10.10 BBC News; Weather (S,HD).10.30 Match of the Day (S,HD). Gary

Lineker presents highlights ofthe latest Premier Leagueclashes, which included Chelseav Tottenham Hotspur andWestBromwich Albion v ManchesterUnited. Followed by NationalLottery Update.

11.45 The Football League Show(S). Highlights of today’s gamesin the Championship, LeagueOne and League Two.

1.05 Weatherview (S). 1.10 BBC News(S,HD).

1112

6.00 CITV. 9.25 ITV News (S). 9.30 DinnerDate (R,S). 10.25 Murder, She Wrote(R,S,HD). 11.25 ITV News and Weather (S).11.30 The Crocodile Hunter Diaries (R,S).12.00 Live FA Cup Football (S,HD).Arsenal v Everton (Kick-off 12.45pm). 3.00The Illusionists (R,S,HD). A magic show atHammersmith’s Apollo theatre. 4.05 TheChase (R,S,HD). 5.05 Off Their Rockers(R,S,HD). 5.35 ITV News West Country (S).5.45 ITV News and Weather (S).

9.00 Live Paralympic Winter Games (S).Further coverage of the opening day ofevents in Russia. 11.30 The Morning Line(S,HD). Nick Luck presents live coverage ofsix races. From Sandown Park, races start at2.05, 2.40, 3.15 and 3.50. FromWolverhampton at 2.20 and 2.55. 12.30Deal or No Deal (S,HD). 1.30 Channel 4Racing (S,HD). Live coverage from SandownPark andWolverhampton. 4.10 Come Dinewith Me (R,S,HD).

6.00 Milkshake!. 10.05 Film: Zathura: ASpace Adventure (S,HD) (2005).●●●●12.00 Film: The Fifth Element (S,HD)(1997). Sci-fi adventure, starring BruceWillis.●●●● 2.25 Film: Wimbledon (S,HD)(2004). Romantic drama, starring KirstenDunst.●●● 4.10 Film: Columbo: TheGreenhouse Jungle (S) (1972). Detectivedrama, starring Peter Falk.●● 5.45 Film:Columbo: Double Shock (S) (1973).Detective drama, with Peter Falk.●●●

7.00 Ant & Dec’s Saturday NightTakeaway (S,HD). 3/7. TheGeordie duo play anundercover prank on DavidDickinson.

6.00 You’ve Been Framed! StrikesBack! (S). Harry Hill’s most off-the-wall observations inspiredby viewers’ home videos.

6.10 Channel 4 News (S).6.30 Paralympic Winter Games

Highlights (S). See ChoicesAbove.

10.20 ITV News and Weather (S);Weather.

10.35 FA Cup Highlights (S,HD).Action from the sixth round.

12.20 Jackpot247. Interactive gaming.3.00 In Plain Sight (R,S,HD). Marshall’sfather arrives in Albuquerque on a stingoperation. 3.45 ITV Nightscreen (HD).Text-based information service.

7.00 Crufts 2014 (S). 4/5. ClareBalding presents highlightsfrom day three of the annualdog show held at the NEC inBirmingham, featuringcoverage of the utility and toygroup judging events.

9.00 Hostages (S,HD). 9/15. Duncanis ordered to tie up loose endsas investigators get nearer touncovering the conspiracy, andthe FBI agent takes the nextstep in his master plan bygiving Ellen the poison.

10.00 X-Men: The Last Stand (S,HD)(2006). See Choices Above.●●●

12.00 Film: Cloverfield (S,HD) (2008).Found-footage monster thriller, starringMichael Stahl-David.●●●● 1.35 Blackout(R,S,HD). Docu-drama exploring the effectsof a cyber attack on Britain’s national grid.2.55 Hollyoaks (R,S,HD). Omnibus. 5.05Trans World Sport (S). Including a profileof the American Paralympic sledge hockeyteam.

7.00 NCIS (R,S). 17/24. See ChoicesAbove.

8.00 NCIS (R,S). 18/24. A supposedlydead marine comes back to lifeon the autopsy table.

8.55 5 News Weekend (S,HD).

9.00 UFC Fight Night London:Live (S,HD). AlexanderGustafsson v Jimi Manuwa.Coverage of the lightheavyweight contest at the O2in London, where rising Britishstar Manuwa will be looking torecord a surprise victory.

12.05 SuperCasino. Live interactivegaming. 3.10 Benidorm ER (R,S,HD). 4.00Wildlife SOS (R,S). 4.25 Make It Big (R,S).4.50 The Funky Valley Show (R,S). 5.00Angels of Jarm (R,S). 5.05 Hana’sHelpline (R,S). 5.20 Angels of Jarm (R,S).5.25 The Funky Valley Show (R,S). 5.40Hana’s Helpline (R,S). 5.50 Hana’sHelpline (R,S).

6.30 Sport Relief’s Top Dog (R,S,HD). 9.00Live Athletics (S,HD). The World IndoorChampionships. 11.45 Escape to theCountry (R,S,HD). 12.15 Talking Pictures(S). 1.00 Film: The Trouble with Harry(S,HD) (1955). Black comedy, starringEdmund Gwenn. ●●●●● 2.35 Film: TheMan Who Knew Too Much (S,HD) (1956).Alfred Hitchcock’s thriller remake, withJames Stewart.●●●● 4.30 Final Score(S,HD). 5.10 Live Athletics (S,HD).

8.15 Dad’s Army (R,S). 3/14.Mainwaring sends his men onlengthy route marches toharden their feet.

8.45 The Perfect Morecambe &Wise (S). 2/9. Eric annoys Ernieby eating crisps in bed.

9.15 37 Days (S,HD). 3/3. SeeChoices Above.

10.15 Stewart Lee’s ComedyVehicle (S,HD). 2/6. Anotherramble through the mind ofthe comedian.

10.45 QI XL (S,HD). 5/16. With CalWilson, Jack Whitehall andJimmy Carr.

11.30 Milk (S) (2008). See ChoicesAbove.●●●●●

11.25 All You Can Eat (R,S,HD).Supersized meals, restaurantchallenges and eating contests.

1.30 Film: Nemesis (S) (1992). Sci-fithriller, starring Oliver Gruner.●● 3.00This Is BBC Two (S). Preview of upcomingprogrammes.

after

76

8.20 The Cube (S,HD). 2/8. Ateacher and a pizza deliveryman tackle a series of toughchallenges, from agility tests toskills trials, aiming to win ajackpot of £250,000. PhillipSchofield hosts.

9.20 The Jonathan Ross Show(S,HD). 10/10. See ChoicesAbove.

Casualty, 9.20pm The Perfect Morecambe… 8.45pm Ant & Dec’s Saturday … 7pm Crufts 2014, 7pm NCIS, 7pm

37 DAYS9.15pm, BBC2With the continental powers pushed to thebrink of war, Sir Edward Grey seems unsure asto whether Britain should keep out of theimpending conflict. Desperate negotiations,resignations and a battle of wills in the Cabinetreach a climax with Germany’s ultimatum toBelgium. Starring Ian McDiarmid.

THE JONATHAN ROSSSHOW9.20pm, ITVThe host chats to singerand actress JenniferHudson, business tycoonRichard Branson and TheGreat British Bake Off’s SuePerkins. Indie rockers Elbow perform.

NCIS7pm, Channel 5An explosion at a mausoleum exposes anumber of freshly dismembered bodies,prompting the team to launch a multiplemurder investigation to identify the victims.Meanwhile, Abby has a personal problem todeal with - and it seems Gibbs is the onlyperson she will confide in.

6.00 Emmerdale (S,HD). 8.40Coronation Street (S,HD). 11.05The Real Housewives of BeverlyHills (R,S,HD). 1.00 The Only WayIs Essex (R,S,HD). 2.30 Pixie Lott:The Hot Desk (S). 2.45 Film:Curly Sue (S,HD) (1991).●● 4.50Film: Nanny McPhee and theBig Bang (S,HD) (2010). Fantasycomedy, starring Emma Thompson.●●●●

11.10 Pitch Black (S,HD)(2000). Sci-fi horror,starring Vin Diesel andRadha Mitchell.●●●

1.25 Fake Reaction (R,S,HD). WithRyan Fletcher, Dougie Poynter, MaeMartin and Mutya Buena. Last inthe series. 2.00 You’ve BeenFramed! Full Throttle (R,S). Clipsfeaturing thrill-seekers and show-offs. 2.50 Teleshopping. Homeshopping. 5.50 ITV2 Nightscreen(HD).

PARALYMPIC WINTERGAMES HIGHLIGHTS6.30pm, Channel 4Jonathan Edwards and AdeAdepitan present a look backat the opening day of eventsin Sochi and KrasnayaPolyana, Russia, whichincluded alpine skiing and wheelchair curling.

BBC1

THE VOICE UK7pm, BBC1Emma Willis andMarvin Humes hostthe concluding battleshow, in which theremaining acts take tothe stage in head-to-head performances.

FILMRATINGS●●●●●Excellent●●●●Very good●●●Good●●Average●Poor(R) repeat(S) subtitles(HD) high-definition

TVPICK

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67

6.00 Milkshake!. 10.05 Film: Zathura: ASpace Adventure (S,HD) (2005).●●●●12.00 Film: The Fifth Element (S,HD)(1997). Sci-fi adventure, starring BruceWillis.●●●● 2.25 Film: Wimbledon (S,HD)(2004). Romantic drama, starring KirstenDunst.●●● 4.10 Film: Columbo: TheGreenhouse Jungle (S) (1972). Detectivedrama, starring Peter Falk.●● 5.45 Film:Columbo: Double Shock (S) (1973).Detective drama, with Peter Falk.●●●

6.00 Emmerdale (S,HD). 8.40Coronation Street (S,HD). 11.05The Real Housewives of BeverlyHills (R,S,HD). 1.00 The Only WayIs Essex (R,S,HD). 2.30 Pixie Lott:The Hot Desk (S). 2.45 Film:Curly Sue (S,HD) (1991).●● 4.50Film: Nanny McPhee and theBig Bang (S,HD) (2010). Fantasycomedy, starring Emma Thompson.●●●●

7.00 The Incredible Hulk(S,HD) (2008). A scientistwho changes into amonster when angry ishunted by a generalwho wants to use thecreature as a weapon.Comic-book adventure,starring Edward Nortonand Liv Tyler. IncludingFYI Daily.●●●

11.10 Pitch Black (S,HD)(2000). Sci-fi horror,starring Vin Diesel andRadha Mitchell.●●●

1.25 Fake Reaction (R,S,HD). WithRyan Fletcher, Dougie Poynter, MaeMartin and Mutya Buena. Last inthe series. 2.00 You’ve BeenFramed! Full Throttle (R,S). Clipsfeaturing thrill-seekers and show-offs. 2.50 Teleshopping. Homeshopping. 5.50 ITV2 Nightscreen(HD).

9.15 The Sweetest Thing(S,HD) (2002). A womanchases the man of herdreams across America ina bid to prevent himfrommarrying someoneelse. Romantic comedy,starring Cameron Diaz,Christina Applegate andSelma Blair. Including FYIDaily.●●●

6.00 The Big Bang Theory(R,S,HD). 1/23.


6.00 Switched 6.25 Ugly Betty7.10 Charmed 8.00 Glee 9.00 TheMindy Project 9.30 How I MetYour Mother 11.00 Rules ofEngagement 1.30 The MindyProject 2.00 The Big BangTheory: Access All Areas 2.30The Big Bang Theory 3.30 TheBig Bang Theory: It All Startedwith a Big Bang 4.00 How I MetYour Mother 5.00 Rude(ish) Tube

7.00 How I Met YourMother (R,S,HD). 18/22.Robin invites Ted to herflat.

7.30 How I Met YourMother (R,S,HD). 5/24.

8.00 The Tomorrow People(R,S,HD). 9/22. SeeChoices Above.

12.00 How I Met Your Mother(R,S,HD). 12.30 How I Met YourMother (R,S,HD). 1.00 Rude Tube(R,S,HD). 2.05 2 Broke Girls(R,S,HD). 2.30 The Ricky GervaisShow (R,S,HD). 2.55 The RickyGervais Show (R,S,HD). 3.25 TheRicky Gervais Show 3.50 Glee4.35 Ugly Betty

9.00 Beverly Hills Cop II(S,HD) (1987).Wisecracking Detroitdetective Axel Foleyreturns to Los Angeles toinvestigate the shootingof an old friend. Comedythriller sequel, starringEddie Murphy and JudgeReinhold.●●

6.00 Modern Family(R,S,HD). 15/24.

6.30 Modern Family(R,S,HD). 4/24.

6.00 Glee (R,S,HD). 8.00 TheFantasy Football Club (HD). 9.00Game Changers (HD). 10.00Soccer AM (HD). 12.00 WWESuperstars (HD). 1.00 AshleyBanjo’s Dancing Darts Players(R,S,HD). 2.00 Sinbad (R,S,HD). Theadventurers encounter a teenagerwho claims she is a god. 3.00Futurama (R,S). 4.00 ModernFamily (R,S,HD).

7.00 Harrow: A Very BritishSchool (R,S,HD). 7/8.The summer term beginsand the boys prepare forthe inter-house relayrace.

8.00 A League of TheirOwn (R,S,HD). 4/12.Clare Balding and BorisBecker join teamcaptains JamieRedknapp and AndrewFlintoff on the sports-based comedy quiz.

10.00 Revolution (S,HD).11/20. Monroe’s reunionwith Connor proves tobe anything but sweet ashis estranged son handshim over to the localcartel boss, while Gracedrops anotherbombshell on Aaron.

12.00 A League of Their Own(R,S,HD). 12.55 A League of TheirOwn (R,S,HD). 1.50 Cop Squad(R,S,HD). 2.40 Cop Squad (R,S,HD).3.35 Road Wars (R,S). 4.00 CrashTest Dummies (R,S,HD). SteveMarsh and DanWright cause chaos.5.00 Emergency Abroad (R,S,HD).The work of Majorcan medics.

11.00 Karl Pilkington: TheMoaning of Life(R,S,HD). 1/5. KarlPilkington travels theworld to answer some oflife’s biggest questions.

9.00 Arrow (R,S,HD). 12/23.The vigilante offers totrain Roy, but therebellious teen refuses tolisten unless he revealshis identity. Bronze Tigerescapes from prison tosteal Malcolm’searthquake machine.

6.05 Thunderbirds (S)(2004). A mastercriminal takes over TracyIsland, leavingInternational Rescue’syoungest member tosave the day. Sci-fiadventure, starring BillPaxton, Ben Kingsleyand Anthony Edwards..●●

6.10 Keeping Up Appearances(S). 7.10 Goodnight Sweetheart.10.35 One Foot in the Grave (S).12.55 Keeping Up Appearances(S). 2.15 Fawlty Towers (S). 3.00Film: Carry On Nurse (1959).Comedy, starring Hattie Jacques.●●● 4.45 Only Fools and Horses(S). Christmas special from 1986.Rodney dates an aristocrat’sdaughter.

8.00 Harry Hill’s TV Burp.5/13. A quirky review ofsmall-screen highlights.

8.30 Harry Hill’s TV Burp.6/13.

10.20 The Catherine TateShow (S). 6/6. Peter Kayguest stars.

10.55 Yes Minister (S). 7/7.Hacker supports the saleof a museum.

11.35 Porridge (S). 5/6. Fletchtries to shirk his duties.

12.15 The Catherine Tate Show(S). Featuring Bernie theincompetent nurse. 12.55 TheCatherine Tate Show (S). Nanvisits a pound shop. 1.30 TheCatherine Tate Show (S). PeterKay guest stars. 2.00 Yes Minister(S). 2.30 Porridge (S). 3.00 Close

9.00 The Catherine TateShow (S). 4/6. FeaturingBernie the incompetentnurse.

9.40 The Catherine TateShow (S). 5/6. Nan visits apound shop.

6.00 Premier League Preview 6.30Ringside 7.30 Premier LeaguePreview 8.00 The Fantasy FootballClub 9.00 Game Changers 10.00Soccer AM 12.00 Live Scottish CupFootball Raith Rovers v St Johnstone(Kick-off 12.15pm). 2.30 SaturdayTeam Talk 3.00 Soccer Saturday5.00 Live Saturday Night FootballChelsea v TottenhamHotspur (Kick-off 5.30pm).

11.30 Scottish Cup Football(HD). Raith Rovers v StJohnstone.

12.00 Saturday Reloaded (HD).1.00 SNF – Match Choice (HD).Extended highlights from thePremier League. 2.30 SNF – MatchChoice (HD). Extended highlightsfrom the Premier League. 4.00 SNF– Match Choice (HD). Extendedhighlights from the Premier League.5.30 Scottish Cup Football (HD).

10.00 SNF – Match Choice(HD). Extendedhighlights from thePremier League,allowing viewers toaccess the latest round oftop-flight fixtures,including Cardiff City vFulham.

The Sweetest Thing, 9.15pm Beverly Hills Cop II, 9pm Revolution, 10pm Thunderbirds, 6.05pm Live Scottish Football, 12pm

PARALYMPIC WINTERGAMES HIGHLIGHTS6.30pm, Channel 4Jonathan Edwards and AdeAdepitan present a look backat the opening day of eventsin Sochi and KrasnayaPolyana, Russia, whichincluded alpine skiing and wheelchair curling.

THE TOMORROW PEOPLE8pm, E4John finds himself in a dangerous situation,but Stephen faces a dilemma as rescuing himwould mean having to reveal himself toUltra. Meanwhile, Cara and Russell negotiatea trade with Jedikiah that leads him to takea huge risk. American sci-fi drama, gueststarring Nicholas Young.

11.05 The Big Bang Theory(R,S,HD). 9/24. Penny’sdad pays a visit.


8.00 SNF – Game of the Day(HD). Sarah-Jane Meepresents a full re-run ofthe day’s top PremierLeague match.

7.00 Great MovieMistakes:Revenge of theFifth (R,S).Blunders inHollywood films.

7.25 Doctor Who(R,S,HD). A trip to16th-centuryVenice pits thetime travellersagainst vampires.

8.15 Top Gear(R,S,HD). RichardHammond drivesthe Porsche 918Spyder.

9.15 Blades of Glory(S,HD) (2007). Ice-skating comedy,starring WillFerrell and JonHeder.●●●

10.45 Family Guy (R,S).11.05 Family Guy (R,S).11.30 Family Guy (R,S).11.50 Family Guy (R,S).12.15 Family Guy (R,S).12.35 Family Guy (R,S).12.55 Family Guy (R,S).1.20 Bluestone 42(R,S,HD). 1.50 ImpracticalJokers (R,S,HD). 2.20Pramface (R,S,HD). 2.50Festivals, Sex &Suspicious Parents(R,S,HD). 3.50 GreatMovie Mistakes (R,S).

7.00 Great BarrierReef (R,HD).Monty Hallsexplores theextraordinaryecosystem.

8.00 Lost Kingdomsof SouthAmerica (R,HD).The rise and fallof Chimor, thecontinent’s firstempire. Last inthe series.

9.00 Salamander(HD). The ministerof justice has anemergencymeeting with thePrime Minister.

9.45 Salamander(HD).

10.35 Totally British70s Rock ’n’ Roll(R). Archiveperformances byartists includingDr Feelgood.

11.35 The Ballad ofMott theHoople (R).

12.35 Top of the Pops:1979 (R). 1.15 Sounds ofthe 70s 2 Rock – The BoysAre Back in Town (R). 1.45Lost Kingdoms of SouthAmerica (R,HD). 2.45Great Barrier Reef (R,HD).

X-MEN: THE LASTSTAND10pm, Channel 4The mutant heroesbattle old ally JeanGrey, returned from thedead as the destructivePhoenix. Starring HughJackman,

MILK11.30pm, BBC2Biopic of politician andactivist Harvey Milk,who became America’sfirst openly gay electedofficial in the 1970s.Starring Sean Penn andJames Franco.

ITV2 E4 Sky1 GOLD Sky Sports 1 BBC3 BBC4

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6.00 Breakfast (S,HD). 7.40 Match of theDay (R,S,HD). 9.00 The AndrewMarrShow (S,HD). 10.00 The Big Questions(S,HD). 11.00 Sunday Politics (S). 12.15Wanted Down Under (R,S,HD). 1.00 BBCNews (S,HD). 1.15 Bargain Hunt (R,S). 1.45Escape to the Country (R,S,HD). 2.30 LiveSix Nations Rugby Union (S,HD). Englandv Wales (Kick-off 3.00pm). 5.00 Deadly ona Mission: Pole to Pole (S,HD). 5.30Songs of Praise (S,HD).

7.00 Countryfile (S,HD). EllieHarrison meets the scientiststrying to bring endangeredconifer species back toPerthshire. Including Weatherfor the Week Ahead.

6.05 Regional News (S,HD).6.30 Blandings (S,HD). 4/7. Clarence

grows a raggedy beard, muchto the dismay of his family.

8.00 Call the Midwife (S,HD). 8/8.See Choices Above.

9.00 The Musketeers (S,HD). 7/10.A young girl is killed afterbeing hit by the royal carriage,and the Musketeers’investigations lead them to anextraordinary womancondemned to death forwitchcraft.

10.00 BBC News; Regional Newsand Weather (S,HD).

10.25 Bruce Almighty (S,HD) (2003).See Choices Above.●●●

12.00 Film: Forget Me Not (S,HD) (2010).Premiere. Romantic drama, with TobiasMenzies and Genevieve O’Reilly.●●● 1.30Weatherview (S). 1.35 BBC News (S,HD).

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6.00 CITV. 9.25 Murder, She Wrote(R,S,HD). 10.25 Dickinson’s Real Deal(R,S). 11.25 ITV News and Weather (S).11.30 The Crocodile Hunter Diaries (R,S).12.30 River Monsters (R,S,HD). Stories ofprimordial bloodsuckers in the PacificNorthwest. 1.30 Live FA Cup Football(S,HD). Hull City v Sunderland (Kick-off2.00pm). 4.20 Film: Live and Let Die(S,HD) (1973). James Bond spy adventure,starring Roger Moore.●●●●

6.00 Live Paralympic Winter Games (S).Coverage of the second day of events inSochi and Krasnaya Polyana, Russia. 11.00Live Paralympic Winter Games (S).Further coverage of the second day ofevents in Russia. 2.30 The Big BangTheory (R,S,HD). 3.30 How I Met YourMother (S,HD). Lily worries aboutThanksgiving. 4.00 The Simpsons (R,S).5.00 Deal or No Deal (S,HD). Beat-the-banker game show.

6.00 Milkshake!. 10.00 Power RangersSuper Samurai (R,S,HD). 10.35 PowerRangers Megaforce (R,S,HD). 11.00Access (R). 11.05 Police Interceptors(R,S,HD). 12.05 Ice Road Truckers (R,S,HD).1.00 Can’t Pay? We’ll Take It Away!(R,S,HD). 2.00 The Hotel Inspector(R,S,HD). 3.00 Film: Forever Young (S,HD)(1992).●●● 5.05 5 News Weekend (S,HD).5.10 Film: Big Mommas: Like Father,Like Son (S,HD) (2011).●

7.00 Dancing on Ice (S,HD). 10/10.See Choices Above.

6.35 Regional News (S); Weather.6.45 ITV News and Weather (S).


Highlights (S). Action from thesecond day of events in Sochiand Krasnaya Polyana, Russia.

10.00 ITV News at Ten (S); Weather.10.15 Birds of a Feather (R,S,HD).

8/8. Tracey and Sharon worryabout their future. Last in theseries.

10.45 FA Cup Highlights (S,HD).Action from today’s matches inthe sixth round.

12.40 The Store. Home shopping. 2.40The Jeremy Kyle Show USA (R,S). Thehost takes his successful talk show stateside.3.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show USA (R,S).The host takes his successful talk showstateside. 4.10 ITV Nightscreen (HD). Text-based information service. 5.05 TheJeremy Kyle Show (S). Guests air theirdifferences.

7.00 Crufts 2014: Best in Show(S). 5/5. See Choices Above.

9.00 One Day (S,HD) (2011).Premiere. See Choices Above.●●●

1.15 The Good Wife (R,S,HD). 2.00 OneBorn Every Minute (R,S). 2.55Supernanny US (R,S). 3.35 Location,Location, Location (R,S). 4.30 RiverCottage Bites (R,S,HD). 4.50 Freesportson 4 (S,HD). 5.15 Arenacross (S). 5.45Live Paralympic Winter Games (S).Coverage of the third day of events in Sochiand Krasnaya Polyana, Russia.

7.10 Hancock (S,HD) (2008).A PR executive decides totransform the image of adrunken superhero whosecareless crime-fighting oftendoes more harm than good.Comedy, starring Will Smith andCharlize Theron. Edited forlanguage.●●●

9.00 Blade: Trinity (S,HD) (2004).The vampire hunter and a teamof ruthless human sidekicksface a showdown with Draculahimself. Action thriller sequel,starring Wesley Snipes, JessicaBiel and Ryan Reynolds.●●

11.00 Beowulf (S,HD) (2007).Motion-capture animatedfantasy, starring Ray Winstone.●●●

1.10 SuperCasino. Live interactivegaming. 3.05 The Lost Orphan: A Homefor Mirela (R,S). 4.00 Wildlife SOS (R,S).4.20 Make It Big (R,S). 4.50 The FunkyValley Show (R,S). 5.00 Angels of Jarm(R,S). 5.05 Hana’s Helpline (R,S). 5.20Angels of Jarm (R,S). 5.25 The FunkyValley Show (R,S). 5.40 Hana’s Helpline(R,S). 5.50 Hana’s Helpline (R,S).

6.00 This Is BBC Two (S). 6.15 Film: Son ofKong (S) (1933). Fantasy adventure sequel,starring Robert Armstrong.●● 7.15 MontyDon’s Italian Gardens (R,S,HD). 8.15Countryfile (R,S,HD). 9.15 Gardeners’World (R,S,HD). 9.45 Saturday KitchenBest Bites (S,HD). Highlights of the series.11.15 James Martin: Home Comforts(R,S,HD). 12.00 Michel Roux’s Service(R,S,HD). 2.00 Live Athletics (S,HD). TheWorld Indoor Championships.

7.00Wild Burma: Nature’s LostKingdom (R,S,HD). 1/3.A team of film-makers ventureinto Burma’s jungles tocatalogue its species.

6.00 Flog It! Trade Secrets (R,S).The pros and cons of partingcompany with heirlooms.

6.30Mystery of the Moor (S).Investigating Bronze Age burialitems discovered on Dartmoor.

8.00 Top Gear: Burma Special(S,HD). 6/7. See Choices Above.

9.00 Fast and Fearless: Britain’sBanger Racers (S,HD). 1/2.Part one of two. Documentaryfollowing drivers at the ArenaEssex Raceway both on and offthe track as they compete inthe 2013 banger racing season.

10.00Mock the Week Looks Backat Travel (R,S). 7/10. SeeChoices Above.

10.35 Line of Duty (R,S,HD). 4/6.Denton implies that Drydenwas embroiled in a widerconspiracy, and Arnott uncoversevidence that a tracker hadbeen planted on one of theconvoy vehicles.

11.35 The Killing Fields (S,HD)(1984). Fact-based drama,starring SamWaterston.●●●●●

11.45 Anglo-Welsh Cup RugbyUnion (S,HD). NorthamptonSaints v Saracens and Bath vExeter Chiefs.

11.05Working Girl (S,HD) (1988).Comedy, starring MelanieGriffith.●●●●

1.50 Sign Zone: Countryfile (R,S). MattBaker explores Elmley Marshes on the Isleof Sheppey. 2.45 Sign Zone: Holby City(R,S). Ric sets out to restore Jess’s faith inhim as a father. 3.45 Sign Zone: Silk (R,S).Martha defends a professional footballeraccused of assaulting another player. 4.45This Is BBC Two (S). Preview of upcomingprogrammes.

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9.00Mr Selfridge (S,HD). 8/10.Harry deals with a raft ofproblems on his return fromBerlin – not least the news ofHenri’s arrest – while Delphineprovides the beleaguered staffwith a much-needed moraleboost.

Blandings, 6.30pm Fast and Fearless … 9pm Mr Selfridge, 9pm Deal or No Deal, 5pm Hancock, 7.10pm

CRUFTS 2014: BEST IN SHOW7pm, Channel 4Clare Balding presents highlights from the fourthand final day of the annual dog show held at theNEC in Birmingham, including coverage of thegundog group judging, featuring setters,pointers and spaniels, and the heelwork to musicevent. The results of the 2014 dog hero, friendsfor life and best in show are also announced.

TOP GEAR: BURMASPECIAL8pm, BBC2Part one of two. JeremyClarkson, RichardHammond and James Maytravel through Burma inthree lorries to build abridge over the River Kwai in Thailand.

MOCK THE WEEK LOOKS BACK ATTRAVEL10pm, BBC2Another selection of material from theshow’s archives, this time featuring quickfiregags and off-the-cuff silliness on the topic oftravel. Host Dara O Briain overseescontributions by panellists including FrankieBoyle, Russell Howard and Russell Kane.

6.00 Beauty and the Geek (R). 6.45Pixie Lott: The Hot Desk (R). 6.55Emmerdale (R,S,HD). 9.50Coronation Street (R,S,HD). 12.10Dinner Date: Australia (R,S). 1.10You’ve Been Framed! Full Throttle(R,S). 2.10 Film: Nanny McPhee andthe Big Bang (S,HD) (2010).●●●●4.25 Ant & Dec’s Saturday NightTakeaway (R,S,HD). 5.40 Film:Scooby-Doo 2: MonstersUnleashed (S,HD) (2004).●●

12.50 Mom (R,S,HD). Christybecomes nervous about herromantic getaway with Adam. 1.20Mom (R,S,HD). 1.45 The VampireDiaries (R,S,HD). Damon andStefan plan to save Elena fromWes. 2.25 You’ve Been Framed!(R,S). 2.50 Teleshopping. 5.50ITV2 Nightscreen (HD).

BBC1

CALL THE MIDWIFE8pm, BBC1A new friendshipgrows for Jenny whenshe is introduced to apatient’s male cousin,while Chummydiscovers her motherhas discharged herself from hospital.


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6.00 Milkshake!. 10.00 Power RangersSuper Samurai (R,S,HD). 10.35 PowerRangers Megaforce (R,S,HD). 11.00Access (R). 11.05 Police Interceptors(R,S,HD). 12.05 Ice Road Truckers (R,S,HD).1.00 Can’t Pay? We’ll Take It Away!(R,S,HD). 2.00 The Hotel Inspector(R,S,HD). 3.00 Film: Forever Young (S,HD)(1992).●●● 5.05 5 News Weekend (S,HD).5.10 Film: Big Mommas: Like Father,Like Son (S,HD) (2011).●

7.10 Hancock (S,HD) (2008).A PR executive decides totransform the image of adrunken superhero whosecareless crime-fighting oftendoes more harm than good.Comedy, starring Will Smith andCharlize Theron. Edited forlanguage.●●●

6.00 Beauty and the Geek (R). 6.45Pixie Lott: The Hot Desk (R). 6.55Emmerdale (R,S,HD). 9.50Coronation Street (R,S,HD). 12.10Dinner Date: Australia (R,S). 1.10You’ve Been Framed! Full Throttle(R,S). 2.10 Film: Nanny McPhee andthe Big Bang (S,HD) (2010).●●●●4.25 Ant & Dec’s Saturday NightTakeaway (R,S,HD). 5.40 Film:Scooby-Doo 2: MonstersUnleashed (S,HD) (2004).●●

7.30 Batman & Robin(S,HD) (1997). The capedcrusader and his sidekicktake on icy villain MrFreeze and seductivefemme fatale Poison Ivy.Comic-book adventure,starring George Clooneyand ArnoldSchwarzenegger.Including FYI Daily.●

10.00 The Only Way Is Essex(S,HD). 5/12. Realityprogramme following agroup of people inEssex.

10.50 Party Wright Aroundthe World (R,S,HD). 2/6.Mark Wright plans ahoedown for a group ofcowboys in Canada.

11.50 The Big Reunion 2014(R,S,HD). 5/8. Damageand Girl Thing haveexplosive reunions.

12.50 Mom (R,S,HD). Christybecomes nervous about herromantic getaway with Adam. 1.20Mom (R,S,HD). 1.45 The VampireDiaries (R,S,HD). Damon andStefan plan to save Elena fromWes. 2.25 You’ve Been Framed!(R,S). 2.50 Teleshopping. 5.50ITV2 Nightscreen (HD).

6.00 Brooklyn Nine-Nine(R,S,HD). 8/22. Jakemeets his hero.


6.00 Make It or Break It (R,S,HD).6.50 Ugly Betty (R,S,HD). 7.35Charmed (R,S). 8.30 Rules ofEngagement (R,S,HD). 9.00 How IMet Your Mother (R,S,HD). 10.00Hollyoaks (R,S,HD). 12.35 Revenge(R,S,HD). 1.35 The Big Bang Theory(R,S,HD). 2.00 Rude(ish) Tube (R,S).3.00 Marvel’s Agents of SHIELD(R,S,HD). 4.00 The TomorrowPeople (R,S,HD). 5.00 Troy (R,S,HD).

7.00 The Big Bang Theory(R,S,HD). 3/23. Pennybecomes addicted to anonline game.


8.00 Employee of theMonth (S,HD) (2006).A lazy shelf stacker andan ambitious checkoutattendant compete towin a company awardand the heart of a newcashier. Comedy, withDane Cook, DaxShepard and JessicaSimpson. Edited forlanguage.●●

10.10 The Big Bang Theory(R,S,HD). 2/23. Leonardgets back together withLeslie Winkle.

10.40 How I Met YourMother (R,S,HD). 19/22.Barney finds a date forTed.

12.15 Rude Tube (R,S,HD). 1.20Rules of Engagement (R,S,HD).1.50 Rules of Engagement(R,S,HD). 2.10 The ClevelandShow (R,S,HD). 2.35 TheCleveland Show (R,S,HD). 2.55The Cleveland Show (R,S,HD).3.20 Hollyoaks (R,S,HD). Omnibus.

6.00 The Simpsons (R,S).22/22.

6.30 The Simpsons (R,S).3/22. Marge is forced toreplace the family car.

6.00 Hour of Power (HD).7.00Glee(R,S,HD).9.00MonumentsMenMovie Special (S,HD).9.30 Jordan& Perri’s Ultimate Block Party(R,S,HD).10.00WWESuperstars(R,HD).11.00WWE: Experience(HD).12.00 Sinbad (R,S,HD).1.00Futurama (R,S).2.00ModernFamily (R,S,HD).4.30 The Simpsons(R,S).5.00Ashley Banjo’s SecretStreet Crew (R,S,HD).

7.00Modern Family(R,S,HD). 4/24. Cam isscared to tell his sisterabout his engagement.

7.30 Duck Quacks Don’tEcho (R,S,HD). 5/8.

8.00 The Simpsons (R,S).15/22. Homer becomes amissionary.

8.30 The Simpsons (R,S).12/22. GroundskeeperWillie is forced to movein with the family.

10.00 NCIS: Los Angeles(S,HD). 7/24. The gangfaces a race against timewhen a whistlebloweraccuses a train companyof using its fleet as abomb delivery service.Chris O’Donnell, LL CoolJ and Daniela Ruah star.

12.00 Armed and Dangerous:Ultimate Forces (R,S). Chris Ryantravels to Brazil. 1.00 Armed andDangerous: Ultimate Forces(R,S). An elite police unit in Mexico.2.00 Cop Squad (R,S,HD). 3.00Cop Squad (R,S,HD). 4.00Emergency Abroad (R,S,HD). 5.00Emergency Abroad (R,S,HD).

11.00 Armed andDangerous: UltimateForces (R,S). 1/8. ChrisRyan joins theColombian police force.

9.00 Hawaii Five-0 (S,HD).8/24. See Choices Above.

6.20 Only Fools and Horses(S). 6/7. Rodney becomesa wanted man.

6.00 Keeping Up Appearances(S). 7.40 One Foot in the Grave(S). 9.55 Only Fools and Horses(S). Rodney becomes a wanted man.10.35 Film: Carry On Nurse(1959). Comedy, starring HattieJacques.●●● 12.20 The Vicar ofDibley (S). 2.20 Keeping UpAppearances (S). 4.25 Film:Thunderbirds (S) (2004). Sci-fiadventure, starring Bill Paxton.●●

7.00 The Vicar of Dibley (S).4/8. Geraldine tries herhand at fundraising.

7.40 The Vicar of Dibley (S).5/8. Election fever hitsthe village.

8.20 The Vicar of Dibley (S).6/8. Geraldine conductsa radical Sunday service.

10.20 Knowing Me,Knowing You – WithAlan Partridge (S). 6/6.The host interviews twoHollywood prodigies.

11.00 Yes Minister (S).Christmas special. Hackerruns for Prime Minister.

12.20 I’m Alan Partridge (S). Alanis dreading a visit from the InlandRevenue. 12.55 I’m AlanPartridge (S). Lynn invites Alan toher baptism. 1.30 Harry Hill’s TVBurp. First-ever episode of thecomic TV review. 1.55 Yes Minister(S). Christmas special. Hacker runsfor Prime Minister. 3.00 Close

9.00 I’m Alan Partridge (S).5/6. Alan is dreading avisit from the InlandRevenue.

9.40 I’m Alan Partridge (S).6/6. Lynn invites Alan toher baptism.

6.00 SNF – Match Choice (HD).7.30 Game Changers (HD). 8.30The Sunday Supplement (HD).10.00 Goals on Sunday (HD).12.00 FL72 Live (HD). BlackburnRovers v Burnley (Kick-off 12.30pm).3.00 Live Scottish Cup Football(HD). Rangers v Albion Rovers (Kick-off 3.30pm). 5.55 Live SpanishFootball (HD). Real Madrid vLevante (Kick-off 6.00pm).

11.00 Football’s Greatest (S).11.30 Spanish Football Gold

(HD). Barcelona v RealMadrid.

11.45 Spanish Football Gold(HD). Real Madrid vBarcelona.

12.00 Spanish Football (HD). 1.00FL72 Highlights (HD). 1.30Scottish Cup Football (HD). 2.00Football’s Greatest Managers (S).2.30 Spanish Football Gold (HD).3.00 Spanish Football (HD). 4.00FL72 Highlights (HD). 4.30Scottish Cup Football (HD). 5.00Spanish Football (HD).

10.00 FL72 Highlights (HD).Blackburn Rovers vBurnley.

10.30 Scottish Cup Football(HD). Rangers v AlbionRovers.

Scooby-Doo 2… 5.40pm Employee of theMonth, 8pm Hawaii Five-0, 9pm I’m Alan Partridge, 9pm Live Scottish Cup… 3pm

DANCING ON ICE7pm, ITVPhillip Schofield andChristine Bleakley presentthe last-ever final, and ashow full of surprises ispromised as Beth Tweddle,Hayley Tamaddon and RayQuinn battle it out. Last in the series.

HAWAII FIVE-09pm, Sky1McGarrett and Grover join forces to bring ina young man who has a large amount ofparking tickets, but it turns out that he isactually a skilled computer hacker looking tosell secrets that could be a threat to nationalsecurity. Elsewhere, Sato has some news toshare with Kono.

11.10My Mad Fat Diary(R,S,HD). 3/7. Rae tries tofit in with the coolcrowd at college.

8.00 Live Spanish Football(HD). Valencia v AthleticBilbao (Kick-off 8.00pm).All the action from the LaLiga encounter at theMestalla, where thevisitors continue their bidto finish in the top four.

7.00 The Voice UK(R,S,HD). Thebattle roundscome to an end.

9.15 Hair (R,S,HD). Theseven remainingstylists create alayered cut.

10.15 Family Guy(R,S,HD). TheGriffins move to afarm.

10.35 Family Guy(R,S,HD). Chriswangles aninvitation for theclan to join acountry club.

10.55 Bluestone 42(R,S,HD). Birdattempts to teachMary a lesson.

11.25 American Dad!(R,S). Rogerspends time withanother family.

11.50 American Dad!(R,S).

12.10 Ja’mie: PrivateSchool Girl (R,S,HD). 12.40Bad Education (R,S,HD).1.10 Pramface (R,S,HD).1.40 Hair (R,S,HD). 2.40The Millionaire Preacher:Reggie Yates’ ExtremeSouth Africa (R,S,HD). 3.40Great Movie Mistakes:Revenge of the Fifth (R,S).

7.00 The Golden Ageof SteamRailways (R,HD).Part one of two.A bid to rescueBritain’s narrowgauge railways.

8.00 Shooting theHollywoodStars (R,HD).Rankin re-createsfamousphotographs ofmovie stars.

9.00 Good Swan, BadSwan: DancingSwan Lake (HD).Tamara Rojoprepares for herchallenging dualrole in Swan Lake.

10.00 The Sky at Night(HD). How soundcan reveal secretsabout theuniverse.

10.30We Have a Pope(HD) (2011).Premiere. Drama,with MichelPiccoli and JerzyStuhr.●●●

12.10 Film: MuscleShoals (HD) (2013).●●●●2.00 BBC Sessions: PaulSimon (R,HD). 2.50 GoodSwan, Bad Swan:Dancing Swan Lake (R).

ONE DAY9pm, Channel 4The 20-year friendshipbetween two universitygraduates is exploredthrough the anniversariesof their first meeting.Romantic drama, withAnne Hathaway.

BRUCE ALMIGHTY10.25pm, BBC1God tires of a reporter’sconstant complaining,so passes on His powersto give him a taste ofresponsibility. Comedy,with Jim Carrey andMorgan Freeman.


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6.00 Breakfast (S,HD). 9.15 Heir Hunters(S,HD). 10.00 Homes Under the Hammer(R,S,HD). 11.00 Countryside 999 (S,HD).11.45 Watchdog Test House (S,HD). 12.15Bargain Hunt (S,HD). 1.00 BBC News;Weather (S,HD). 1.30 Regional News (S);Weather. 1.45 Doctors (S,HD). 2.15Perfection (S,HD). 3.00 Escape to theCountry (S,HD). 3.45 James Martin’s FoodMap of Britain (R,S,HD). 4.15 Flog It!Trade Secrets (S,HD). 5.15 Pointless (S,HD).

7.00 The One Show (S,HD). Hostedby Alex Jones and Matt Baker.

7.30 Bang Goes the Theory (S,HD).New series; Followed by BBCNews; Regional News.

6.00 BBC News (S,HD); Weather.6.30 Regional News (S); Weather.

8.00 EastEnders (S,HD). Roxy’s pastcomes back to haunt her.

8.30 A Week in A&E: ConditionCritical? – Panorama (S,HD).The pressures faced by Britain’semergency medical staff.

9.00 Silk (S,HD). 3/6. See ChoicesAbove.

10.00 BBC News (S,HD).10.25 Regional News (S); Weather.10.35 The Michael McIntyre Chat

Show (S,HD). 1/6. New series.The funnyman turns his hand tointerviews, meeting TerryWogan, Lily Allen and AlanSugar.

11.20 Regional Programme (S).11.50 Regional Programme

(R,S,HD).


11

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6.00 Daybreak (S,HD). 8.30 Lorraine (S).9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show (R). 10.30This Morning (S). 12.30 Loose Women(S,HD). Celebrity interviews and topicalstudio discussion. 1.30 ITV News andWeather (S). 1.55 ITV News WestCountry (S). 2.00 Dickinson’s Real Deal(S,HD). From Coalville, Leicestershire. 3.00The Alan Titchmarsh Show (S,HD). 3.59Regional Programme (S). 4.00 TippingPoint (S,HD). 5.00 The Chase (S,HD).

11.00 Live Paralympic Winter Games (S).Further coverage of the third day of eventsin Russia. 12.30 Channel 4 NewsSummary (S). 12.35 Live ParalympicWinter Games (S). Concluding coverage ofthe third day of events in Russia. 2.40Countdown (S,HD). 3.30 Deal or No Deal(S,HD). Beat-the-banker game show. 4.30Four in a Bed (S). 5.00 Come Dine withMe (R,S,HD). Four dinner parties inSouthampton.

6.00 Milkshake!. 9.15 The Wright Stuff(HD). 11.10 Police Interceptors (R,S).12.10 5 News Lunchtime (S,HD). 12.15Benidorm ER (R,S,HD). Dentist KhaddiAbba treats a man with a painful swellingunder his right eye. 1.15 Home and Away(S,HD). 1.45 Neighbours (S,HD). 2.15 NCIS(R,S,HD). 3.15 Film: A Time to Remember(S) (2003). Drama, starring Dana Delany.●●5.00 5 News at 5 (S,HD). 5.30 Neighbours(R,S,HD).

7.00 Emmerdale (S,HD). Eric refusesto show Val any physicalattention.

7.30 Coronation Street (S,HD).Phelan pushes Gary to breakingpoint.


6.00 The Simpsons (R,S). 14/22.A trilogy of classic tales.

6.30 Hollyoaks (S,HD). Ste faces adilemma after discovering thetruth about Fraser’s work.

6.00 Home and Away (R,S,HD).Leah is unimpressed with thechanges Chris has made at thediner.

6.30 NewsTalk Live (S,HD).

10.00 ITV News at Ten (S).10.30 ITV News West Country (S);

Weather.10.35 The Agenda (S,HD). 5/10. Tom

Bradby and guests look to theweek ahead.

12.05 Jackpot247. Interactive gaming.3.00 Champions League Weekly (S,HD).A look ahead to the last 16 of Europeanfootball’s elite competition. 3.25 TheJeremy Kyle Show USA (R,S). The hosttakes his successful talk show stateside.4.10 ITV Nightscreen (HD). Text-basedinformation service. 5.05 The Jeremy KyleShow (S). Guests air their differences.


Highlights (S). Action from thethird day of events in Sochi andKrasnaya Polyana, Russia.

8.00 Food Unwrapped (S,HD). /5.A special edition in which KateQuilton, Jimmy Doherty andMatt Tebbutt take anotherlook at some of their favouritediscoveries from the series.

9.00 One Born Every Minute (S).3/10. See Choices Above.

10.00 8 Out of 10 Cats (S). 4/9. WithMel Giedroyc, Johnny Vegasand Aisling Bea.

10.50 Gogglebox (R,S). 1/12. WeeklyTV review programme,narrated by Caroline Aherne.The households comment onThe Voice, Saturday NightTakeaway and coverage of theAcademy Awards.

12.50 Random Acts (S,HD). 12.55Scandal (R,S,HD). 1.40 Hostages (R,S,HD).2.30 The Good Wife (R,S,HD). 3.15 OneBorn Every Minute (R,S). 4.10 RiverCottage Bites (R,S,HD). 4.20 Location,Location, Location (R,S,HD). 5.15Kirstie’s Homemade Home (R,S,HD).5.30 Live Paralympic Winter Games (S).

7.00 The Gadget Show (S,HD).See Choices Above. Followed by5 News Update.

8.00 Police Interceptors (S,HD).A violent man gives officers therunaround after wreakinghavoc in a hospital, aMacedonian truck driver has abad day and a fuel thief iscaught red-handed. Followedby 5 News at 9.

9.00 Can’t Pay? We’ll Take ItAway! (S,HD). 3/4. Paul Bohilland Steve Pinner evict a couplewho owe five months’ rent on aflat in an affluent Londonsuburb, and later hit a snagwhen they try to seize a taxiover a £3,000 debt.

11.00 Lock Up (S,HD) (1989).See Choices Above.●●

10.00 Riots & Robbers: Caught OnCamera (R,S,HD). 2/6. NickWallis goes out with police inChester, Coventry, Rotherhamand London to reveal howCCTV and technologicaladvances are helping to fightretail crime.

1.05 SuperCasino. Live interactivegaming. 3.05 Left for Dead by theYorkshire Ripper (R,S,HD). Women whosurvived attacks by Peter Sutcliffe recounttheir experiences. 4.00 House Doctor (R,S).4.20 House Doctor (R,S). Improving ahome in Stepney, east London. 4.45 GreatArtists (R,S). 5.10 Wildlife SOS (R,S). 5.35Wildlife SOS (R,S).

6.05 Homes Under the Hammer (R,S,HD).7.05 Countryside 999 (R,S,HD). 7.50 CaughtRed Handed (R,S,HD). 8.20 Sign Zone (R,S).10.35 Click (R,S,HD). 11.00 BBC News(S,HD). 11.30 BBC World News (S,HD). 12.00Daily Politics (S). 1.00 Coast (R,S,HD). 1.10War Walks (R,S). 1.40 British Isles: ANatural History (R,S). 2.40 Cagney & Lacey(R,S). 3.25 Bergerac (R,S). 4.15 Are YouBeing Served? (R,S). 4.45 ’Allo ’Allo! (R,S).5.15 Vintage Antiques Roadshow (R,S).

7.00 Top Gear: Burma Special(R,S,HD). 6/7. Part one of two.Jeremy Clarkson, RichardHammond and James Maytravel through Burma in threelorries.

6.00 Revenge of the Egghead(S,HD). 11/30. Spin-off from thepopular quiz.

6.30 Sport Relief’s Top Dog (S,HD).6/15. Caprice and SharronDavies compete.

8.00 University Challenge (S,HD).30/37. The quarter-finalmatches continue.

8.30Mary Berry Cooks (S,HD). 2/6.See Choices Above.

9.00Mind the Gap: London vsthe Rest (S,HD). 2/2. Evan Davisasks what the rest of Britain canlearn from London’s successand looks at whether amegacity of the north could becreated to rival it.

10.00 The Culture Show:ARTiculation – For the Loveof Art (S,HD). A competition inwhich sixth-formers give a10-minute presentation aboutart.

10.30 Newsnight (S,HD). Followedby Weather.

11.20 Fast and Fearless: Britain’sBanger Racers (R,S,HD). 1/2.Part one of two. Documentaryfollowing drivers at the ArenaEssex Raceway.

11.05 The Secret Mediterraneanwith Trevor McDonald(R,S,HD). 2/4. The broadcastervisits Santorini, Tunisia andsouthern France.

11.50 Troy (S,HD). 4/6. The magicianmakes mischief at a boat party.

12.20 Sign Zone: Film 2014 (R,S). 12.50This Is BBC Two (S). Preview of upcomingprogrammes. 4.00 BBC Learning Zone(S,HD). 4.00 Schools – One HundredYears of the Women’s Movement(S,HD). 4.30 Schools – Divine Women(S,HD). 5.00 Schools – True Stories (S,HD).Part two of two. The stories of 10 peoplewho helped to change the world.

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8.00 I Never Knew That AboutBritain (S,HD). 2/8. Paul Martindiscovers how the Britishinvented the toilet.

8.30 Coronation Street (S,HD).Tina assures Peter she has nottold Steph about their affair.

9.00 DCI Banks (S,HD). 6/6. SeeChoices Above.

Pointless, 5.15pm Mary Berry Cooks, 8.30pm The Agenda, 10.35pm 8 Out of 10 Cats, 10pm Can’t Pay? We’ll Take It Away!, 9pm

MARY BERRY COOKS8.30pm, BBC2The food writer gives step-by-step instructionsfor recipes to impress guests at dinner parties,preparing two varieties of canapes, a salmonand asparagus starter, a main course of guineafowl, and a chocolate tart for pudding. Maryalso reveals a trick for cooking steak ahead oftime that guarantees perfect results.

DCI BANKS9pm, ITVPart two of two. When Aloffers to help Banks get hisabducted daughter back, thedetective contemplatesbreaking every rule in thebook to meet his demands.Last in the series, starring Stephen Tompkinson.

THE GADGET SHOW7pm, Channel 5The team goes in search of the ultimate homecinema set-up. Rachel Riley and Jason Bradburycreate trousers that can roll themselves up intoshorts and a pair of high heels that transforminto flats at the touch of a button. Ortis Deleytests a bike-rollerblade hybrid and a devicethat automatically aims cameras.

7.45 The Jeremy Kyle Show USA (R,S).8.30 Dinner Date (R,S,HD). 9.30 TheReal Housewives of Atlanta (R,S,HD).10.30 The Real Housewives of NewJersey (R,S,HD). 11.30 MillionaireMatchmaker (R,S,HD). 12.30Emmerdale (R,S,HD). 1.00 CoronationStreet (R,S,HD). 2.00 The Jeremy KyleShow (R,S,HD). 4.10 The RealHousewives of New Jersey (S,HD).5.05 Millionaire Matchmaker (S,HD).

10.00 40 Days and 40 Nights(S,HD) (2002). SeeChoices Above.●●●●

12.05 Two and a Half Men(R,S,HD). 12.30 Two and a HalfMen (R,S,HD). 12.55 The OnlyWay Is Essex (R,S,HD). Realityprogramme following a group ofpeople in Essex. 1.40 The JeremyKyle Show USA (R,S). 2.20Teleshopping. Home shopping.5.50 ITV2 Nightscreen (HD).

ONE BORN EVERYMINUTE9pm, Channel 4The atmosphere is tense in thedelivery room as a teenagemother is accompanied by herboyfriend and father, while ayoung couple hope for asimple labour second time around.

BBC1

SILK9pm, BBC1Tensions run highwhen Martha defendsa mother accused ofhelping her paralyseddaughter to die, whileClive (Rupert Penry-Jones) takes on the prosecution.


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6.00 Milkshake!. 9.15 The Wright Stuff(HD). 11.10 Police Interceptors (R,S).12.10 5 News Lunchtime (S,HD). 12.15Benidorm ER (R,S,HD). Dentist KhaddiAbba treats a man with a painful swellingunder his right eye. 1.15 Home and Away(S,HD). 1.45 Neighbours (S,HD). 2.15 NCIS(R,S,HD). 3.15 Film: A Time to Remember(S) (2003). Drama, starring Dana Delany.●●5.00 5 News at 5 (S,HD). 5.30 Neighbours(R,S,HD).

7.00 The Gadget Show (S,HD).See Choices Above. Followed by5 News Update.

8.00 Police Interceptors (S,HD).A violent man gives officers therunaround after wreakinghavoc in a hospital, aMacedonian truck driver has abad day and a fuel thief iscaught red-handed. Followedby 5 News at 9.

9.00 Can’t Pay? We’ll Take ItAway! (S,HD). 3/4. Paul Bohilland Steve Pinner evict a couplewho owe five months’ rent on aflat in an affluent Londonsuburb, and later hit a snagwhen they try to seize a taxiover a £3,000 debt.

1.05 SuperCasino. Live interactivegaming. 3.05 Left for Dead by theYorkshire Ripper (R,S,HD). Women whosurvived attacks by Peter Sutcliffe recounttheir experiences. 4.00 House Doctor (R,S).4.20 House Doctor (R,S). Improving ahome in Stepney, east London. 4.45 GreatArtists (R,S). 5.10 Wildlife SOS (R,S). 5.35Wildlife SOS (R,S).

Pointless, 5.15pm Mary Berry Cooks, 8.30pm The Agenda, 10.35pm 8 Out of 10 Cats, 10pm Can’t Pay? We’ll Take It Away!, 9pm

THE GADGET SHOW7pm, Channel 5The team goes in search of the ultimate homecinema set-up. Rachel Riley and Jason Bradburycreate trousers that can roll themselves up intoshorts and a pair of high heels that transforminto flats at the touch of a button. Ortis Deleytests a bike-rollerblade hybrid and a devicethat automatically aims cameras.


7.00 You’ve Been Framed!(R,S). 5/26. Including abarbecue blaze.

7.30 You’ve Been Framed!(R,S). Featuring cute kidsand silly seniors.

6.00 Dinner Date (R,S,HD).3/30. Londoner Midgechooses three blinddates.

8.00 Two and a Half Men(R,S,HD). 1/19. Alan andCharlie take Jakeshopping.

8.30 Two and a Half Men(R,S,HD). 2/19. Charliespends time with hismother.

10.00 40 Days and 40 Nights(S,HD) (2002). SeeChoices Above.●●●●

12.05 Two and a Half Men(R,S,HD). 12.30 Two and a HalfMen (R,S,HD). 12.55 The OnlyWay Is Essex (R,S,HD). Realityprogramme following a group ofpeople in Essex. 1.40 The JeremyKyle Show USA (R,S). 2.20Teleshopping. Home shopping.5.50 ITV2 Nightscreen (HD).

9.00Mom (S,HD). 10/22.Baxter sets up camp onthe driveway.

9.30Mom (S,HD). 11/22.Bonnie starts dating chefRudy.


6.30 The Big Bang Theory(R,S,HD). 6/23. Sheldonacquires a girlfriend.

8.00 Charmed (R,S). 9.00 Glee (R,S,HD).10.00 New Girl (R,S,HD). 10.30 TheMindy Project (R,S,HD). 11.00Charmed (R,S). 12.00 Rules ofEngagement (R,S,HD). 12.30 Hollyoaks(R,S,HD). 1.00 How I Met Your Mother(R,S,HD). 2.00 The Big Bang Theory(R,S,HD). 3.00 New Girl (R,S,HD). 3.30The Mindy Project (R,S,HD). 4.00 Rulesof Engagement (R,S,HD). 5.00 How IMet Your Mother (R,S,HD).

7.00 Hollyoaks (S,HD).Freddie spots anopportunity to solveSinead’s problems.


8.00 Brooklyn Nine-Nine(R,S,HD). 8/22. SeeChoices Above.

8.30 2 Broke Girls (R,S,HD).5/24. Max and Carolinetry to invent trendyfood.

10.00My Mad Fat Diary(S,HD). 4/7. Liam’s newgirlfriend Amy threatensto beat up Rae if shegets too close to herman, while Archiecontinues to fret aboutcoming out of thecloset.

12.00 The Cleveland Show(R,S,HD). 12.30 The Ricky GervaisShow (R,S,HD). 1.00 Revenge(R,S,HD). 2.00 The TomorrowPeople (R,S,HD). 2.45 Marvel’sAgents of SHIELD (R,S,HD). 3.30Glee (R,S,HD). 4.15 Ugly Betty(R,S,HD). Wilhelmina causes a crisisat Mode.

9.00 Revenge (S,HD). 10/22.The day of the weddingfinally arrives, and Emilyis ready to put her plansin place. However, as herenemies unite, there arenew complications andconsequences for allinvolved.

6.00Modern Family(R,S,HD). 20/24.

6.30 The Simpsons (R,S).8/24. Homer buys Lisa apony.

6.00 Crash Test Dummies (R,S,HD).7.00 Airline USA (R,S). 8.00Modern Family (R,S,HD). 9.00Futurama (R,S,HD). 10.00 HawaiiFive-0 (R,S,HD). 12.00 NCIS: LosAngeles (R,S,HD). 2.00 Harrow: AVery British School (R,S,HD). 3.00Greggs: More Than Meats the Pie(R,S,HD). 4.00 Futurama (R,S). 5.00The Simpsons (R,S). 5.30 ModernFamily (R,S,HD).

7.00 The Simpsons (R,S,HD).7/22. Homer is promotedto accounts manager.

7.30 The Simpsons (R,S).13/22. Homer getstrapped in a cave.

8.00 The Simpsons (R,S).21/24. Sideshow Bob andSelma get engaged.

8.30Modern Family (S,HD).5/24. Each of the clansrun late for a dinnerreservation.

10.00 Stella (R,S,HD). 7/10.The nurse issues Michaelwith a sex ban to helpher work out howserious their relationshipis, while Emma faces thereality of being “theother woman” whenCollette returns.

12.00 NCIS: Los Angeles (R,S,HD).The team hunts for the killers of aformer army sergeant. 1.00 HawaiiFive-0 (R,S,HD). 2.00 Armed andDangerous: Ultimate Forces(R,S). 3.00 Road Wars (R,S). 4.00Harrow: A Very British School(R,S,HD). 5.00 Greggs: More ThanMeats the Pie (R,S,HD).

11.00 NCIS: Los Angeles(R,S,HD). 7/24. The teamsearches for a group ofterrorists.

9.00Moone Boy (S,HD). 4/6.Martin gets a job at thegolf club.

9.30 The Simpsons (R,S).19/23. Homer becomesan artist.

6.00 Last of the SummerWine (S). 4/11. Billycelebrates his ancestorRobin Hood.

6.40 Porridge (S). 4/6.

7.00 Steptoe and Son (S). 7.40 ’Allo’Allo! (S). 8.50 As Time Goes By (S). 9.30Goodnight Sweetheart. 10.10 OneFoot in the Grave (S). 10.50 Waiting forGod (S). 11.30 Last of the SummerWine (S). 12.50 Ever Decreasing Circles(S). 1.30 Steptoe and Son (S). 2.10 ’Allo’Allo! (S). 3.20 As Time Goes By (S). 4.00Goodnight Sweetheart. 4.40 One Footin the Grave (S). 5.20 Last of theSummer Wine (S).

7.20 Porridge (S). 6/6.Fletcher becomes anagony aunt.

8.00 Harry Hill’s TV Burp.5/13. A quirky review ofsmall-screen highlights.

8.30 Harry Hill’s TV Burp.6/13. The comic reviewsHolby City and Dancingon Ice.

10.00 Only Fools and Horses(S). Christmas specialfrom 1987 in which Del-Boy sets out to find hisdear departed mother’streasure trove. Comedy,guest starring Joan Sims,with David Jason andNicholas Lyndhurst.

11.25Men Behaving Badly(S). 1/7. Gary pondersfatherhood.

12.00 Early Doors (S). First episodeof the comedy set in a Manchesterpub. 12.40 Porridge (S). Theinmates face a day of hard labour.1.20 Porridge (S). Fletcherbecomes an agony aunt. 2.00 MenBehaving Badly (S). Gary pondersfatherhood. 2.30 Early Doors (S).3.00 Close

9.00 The Two RonniesSketchbook (S). 1/7.Messrs Barker andCorbett reunite toprovide an insight intotheir remarkable comedycareer. Katie Meluaguests.

6.00 FL72 Review. A round-up of recent matches.

6.00 Good Morning Sports Fans (HD).9.00 Spanish Football (HD). 10.00Scottish Cup Football (HD). 11.00Spanish Football (HD). 12.00 ScottishCup Football (HD). 1.00 FL72Highlights (HD). 1.30 Football LeagueGold (HD). 2.00 Spanish FootballGold (HD). 2.30 Spanish Football(HD). 3.30 The Fantasy Football Club(HD). 4.00 Game Changers (HD). 5.00Soccer AM: The Best Bits (HD).

7.00 The Footballers’Football Show (HD).Dave Jones is joined byguests includingfootballers, managersand club chairmen.

11.00 Premier LeagueReview (HD). A lookback at recent fixtures inthe English PremierLeague.

12.00 SPFL Round-Up (HD). 12.30Soccer AM: The Best Bits (HD).Highlights of Saturday’s show. 1.30FL72 Review. A round-up of recentmatches. 2.30 The Footballers’Football Show (HD). 3.30 SPFLRound-Up (HD). 4.00 Soccer AM:The Best Bits (HD). 5.00 FL72Review.

9.00 FL72 Review. A round-up of recent matches,featuring all the goalsfrom the Championship,League One and LeagueTwo.

10.00 The Footballers’Football Show (HD).Dave Jones is joined byguests includingfootballers, managersand club chairmen todiscuss all the majorstories in the week’sfootball news.

Mom, 9pm MyMad Fat Diary, 10pm Modern Family, 8.30pm Only Fools and Horses, 10pm The Footballers’ ... 7pm

ONE BORN EVERYMINUTE9pm, Channel 4The atmosphere is tense in thedelivery room as a teenagemother is accompanied by herboyfriend and father, while ayoung couple hope for asimple labour second time around.

BROOKLYN NINE-NINE8pm, E4Jake’s dreams come true when he gets thechance to spend the day with his hero,veteran crime reporter Jimmy Brogan, buttheir encounter has unexpectedconsequences. Meanwhile, Terry and Charlesprepare Rosa for a day in court, teaching herto be less terrifying on the witness stand.


11.30 How I Met YourMother (R,S,HD). 12/24.Barney tries to impress abarmaid who dislikesmen wearing suits.

8.00 Premier LeagueReview (HD). A lookback at recent fixtures inthe English PremierLeague, as the seasoncontinued with matchesaffecting both ends ofthe table.

7.00 Hotel of Mumand Dad(R,S,HD). AStevenage coupleare shocked todiscover theyhave to pay forwater.

8.00 JuniorParamedics(R,S). Thestudents dealwith a womanhaving a heart-attack.

9.00 EDL Girls: Don’tCall Me RacistThe lives offemale membersof the far-rightEnglish DefenceLeague. (S,HD).

10.00 ImpracticalJokers (S,HD).

10.30 EastEnders(R,S,HD).

11.00 Family Guy (R,S).11.25 Family Guy (R,S).11.45 American Dad!12.10 American Dad!(R,S). 12.30 ImpracticalJokers (R,S,HD). 1.00 EDLGirls: Don’t Call MeRacist (R,S,HD). 2.00Festivals, Sex &Suspicious Parents(R,S,HD). 3.00 EDL Girls:Don’t Call Me Racist (R,S).

7.00World NewsToday (HD);Weather.

7.30 Great BritishRailwayJourneys Goesto Ireland(R,HD).

8.00 BombayRailway (R).Conclusion. Theaspirations ofworkers at thetrain company.

9.00 PhotographingAfrica (HD).Harry Hookcaptures imagesof some ofAfrica’s mostremote tribes andpeoples.

10.00 Lost Kingdomsof Africa (R).

10.50Mark LawsonTalks to DavidBailey (HD).

11.50When AlbumsRuled the World(R,HD). Exploringthe heyday of theLP.

1.20 Dancing in the Blitz:HowWorld War 2 MadeBritish Ballet (R,HD). 2.20Brushing Up On – BritishStatues (R). 2.50Photographing Africa (R).

40 DAYS AND 40NIGHTS10pm, ITV2A man decides toremain celibate for 40days – only to fall headover heels in love.Romantic comedy,starring Josh Hartnett.

LOCK UP11pm, Channel 5A convict is transferredto a maximum securityprison, where he fallsfoul of a sadistic wardenwith a grudge againsthim. Thriller, withSylvester Stallone.


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6.00 Breakfast (S,HD). 9.15 Heir Hunters(S,HD). 10.00 Homes Under the Hammer(S,HD). 11.00 Countryside 999 (S,HD).11.45 Watchdog Test House (S,HD). 12.15Bargain Hunt (R,S,HD). 1.00 BBC News;Weather (S,HD). 1.30 Regional News (S);Weather. 1.45 Doctors (S,HD). 2.15Perfection (S,HD). 3.00 Escape to theCountry (S,HD). 3.45 James Martin’s FoodMap of Britain (R,S,HD). 4.15 Flog It!Trade Secrets (S,HD). 5.15 Pointless (S,HD).

7.00 The One Show (S,HD). Livechat and topical reports.

7.30 EastEnders (S,HD). Anunexpected visitor leaves Dotreeling. Followed by BBC News;Regional News.


8.00 Holby City (S,HD). 22/52. Partone of two. Ric’s daughter Jessprepares to undergo surgeryand Zosia takes matters intoher own hands when Guyneglects her concerns about acritical case.

9.00 Shetland (S,HD). 1/6. SeeChoices Above.

10.00 BBC News (S,HD).10.25 Regional News (S). Followed

by National Lottery Update.10.35 Insane Fight Club (S,HD). An

insight into the phenomenon ofInsane Championship Wrestling,the brainchild of Mark Dallas,who was frustrated by therestrictions placed upon thetraditional sport.

11.35 Swansea: Living on theStreets (S). 1/3. New series.Documentary on homelessnessin the city.


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12

6.00 Daybreak (S,HD). 8.30 Lorraine (S).9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show (R). 10.30This Morning (S). 12.30 Loose Women(S,HD). Topical debate from a femaleperspective. 1.30 ITV News andWeather (S). 1.55 ITV News WestCountry (S). 2.00 Dickinson’s Real Deal(S,HD). 3.00 The Alan Titchmarsh Show(S,HD). 3.59 Regional Programme (S).4.00 Tipping Point (S,HD). 5.00 TheChase (S,HD).

8.00 The Morning Line (S,HD). 9.00 LiveParalympic Winter Games (S). Furthercoverage of the fourth day of events inRussia. 11.00 Live Paralympic WinterGames (S). Continued coverage of thefourth day of events in Russia. 12.30Channel 4 News Summary (S). 12.35Cheltenham Festival: Channel 4 Racing(S,HD). Including the 3.20 Stan JamesChampion Hurdle. 4.30 Four in a Bed (S).5.00 Come Dine with Me (R,S,HD).

6.00 Milkshake!. 9.15 The Wright Stuff(HD). 11.10 Police Interceptors (R,S).12.10 5 News Lunchtime (S,HD). 12.15The Hotel Inspector (R,S,HD). TheParamount Hotel in Nottingham. 1.15Home and Away (S,HD). 1.45 Neighbours(S,HD). 2.15 NCIS (R,S). 3.15 Film:McBride: Murder Past Midnight (S)(2005). Mystery, starring John Larroquette.●●● 5.00 5 News at 5 (S,HD). 5.30Neighbours (R,S,HD).

7.00 Emmerdale (S,HD). SeeChoices Above.

7.30 Live UEFA ChampionsLeague (S,HD). Bayern Munichv Arsenal (Kick-off 7.45pm).Coverage of the last-16 second-leg encounter at the AllianzArena, where the hosts lead 2-0on aggregate. Subsequentprogrammes are subject tochange.


6.00 The Simpsons (R,S). 15/22.The family visits Brazil.

6.30 Hollyoaks (S,HD). Freddiespots an opportunity to solveSinead’s financial problems.

6.00 Home and Away (R,S,HD).Heath discovers Bianca has losther short-term memory.



Weather.10.35 UEFA Champions League:

Extra Time (S,HD). BayernMunich v Arsenal and AtleticoMadrid v AC Milan. Highlightsof the last-16 second-legmatches.

12.30 Jackpot247. Interactive gaming.3.00 Loose Women (R,HD). Topical debatefrom a female perspective. 3.45 ITVNightscreen (HD). Text-based informationservice. 5.05 The Jeremy Kyle Show(R,S,HD). Guests air their differences.


Highlights (S). Action from thefourth day of events in Sochiand Krasnaya Polyana, Russia.

8.00 Kirstie’s Best of Both Worlds(S,HD). 3/7. Property expertKirstie Allsopp searches for ahome that combines the best ofthe Cheshire countryside withconvenient access to Liverpooland Manchester.

9.00 The Taste (S,HD). 10/10. SeeChoices Above.

10.00 Strippers (S). 3/3. The lives ofexotic dancers in Aberdeen.Vicky started stripping on her18th birthday and loves thelifestyle, while Lilly is hoping tobecome a page three girl. Lastin the series.

12.05 Random Acts (S). 12.10Cheltenham Festival Highlights (S,HD).12.55 Poker (S). 1.50 KOTV BoxingWeekly (S). 2.20 Trans World Sport (R,S).Including a profile of the AmericanParalympic sledge hockey team. 3.20Volleyball (S). 4.15 Arenacross (R,S). 4.40Freesports on 4 (R,S,HD). 5.05 Deal orNo Deal (R,S,HD).

7.00 Highland Emergency(R,S,HD). 26/30. Two hikers arestranded on the Isle of Skye.

7.30 Police 5 (S,HD). Crimeprevention advice. Followed by5 News Update.

8.00 Benidorm ER (S,HD). SeeChoices Above.

9.00 The Mentalist (S,HD). 11/22.Jane is called in to advise theFBI when five DrugEnforcement Administrationofficers are killed in a shoot-outand ends up asking the primesuspect’s girlfriend out on adate.

11.55 Body of Proof (R,S,HD). 9/20.A medical student helps Meganon an investigation.

10.00 Law & Order: Special VictimsUnit (S,HD). 6/24. Abusinessman is found tied up,stripped and branded.

10.55 Body of Proof (R,S,HD). 8/20. Thebody of pharmaceutical rep AmyGreen is pulled out of the riverand Megan and the team discoverthat all the blood appears to havebeen drained from it.

12.50 SuperCasino. Live interactivegaming. 3.05 It Takes a Thief to Catch aThief (R,S,HD). Advice for retailers ondeterring shoplifters. 4.00 House Doctor(R,S). 4.20 House Doctor (R,S). AWarrington makeover. 4.45 Great Artists(R,S). English painter JMW Turner. 5.10Wildlife SOS (R,S). A badger cub is rescued.5.35 Wildlife SOS (R,S).

6.05 Homes Under the Hammer (R,S,HD).7.05 Countryside 999 (R,S,HD). 7.50Watchdog Test House (R,S,HD). 8.20 SignZone 10.35 HARDtalk (R,S,HD). 11.00 BBCNews (S,HD). 11.30 BBC World News (S,HD).12.00 Daily Politics (S). 1.00 The SuperLeague Show (S). 1.45 British Isles: ANatural History (R,S). 2.35 Cagney & Lacey(R,S). 3.25 Bergerac (R,S). 4.15 Are YouBeing Served? (R,S). 4.45 ’Allo ’Allo! (R,S).5.15 Vintage Antiques Roadshow (S).

7.00 Permission Impossible:Britain’s Planners (S,HD). 8/8.Revisiting some of last year’smost controversial applications.Last in the series.

6.00 Revenge of the Egghead(S,HD). 12/30. Spin-off from thepopular quiz.

6.30 Sport Relief’s Top Dog (S,HD).7/15. Teams captained by OJ Borgand Jenni Falconer compete.

8.00 The Great British SewingBee (S,HD). 4/8. See ChoicesAbove.

9.00 An Hour to Save Your Life(S,HD). 2/3. Medics fight to savethe lives of a man who suffers acardiac arrest, a motorcyclistcritically injured in a high-speedroad accident, and a youngman who has been stabbed.

10.00 The Sarah MillicanTelevision Programme(R,S,HD). 2/6. With guestsMichael Palin, Helen Skeltonand TimWonnacott.


11.20Mind the Gap: London vsthe Rest (R,S,HD). 2/2. EvanDavis asks what the rest ofBritain can learn from London’ssuccess.

11.35 The Crocodile Hunter Diaries(R,S). Australia Zoo’s trickiestmoments.

11.00 Three Wives, One Husband(R,S,HD). 2/2. Part two of two.A young missionary prepares tomarry a stranger.

12.20 Sign Zone: Britain’s Great War(R,S). 1.20 This Is BBC Two (S). 4.00 BBCLearning Zone (S,HD). 4.00 Schools –Regency Life: 3 Lives in 1 Day (S,HD).

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Holby City, 8pm The Chase, 5pm Kirstie’s Best of Both Worlds, 8pm The Mentalist, 9pm

EMMERDALE7pm, ITVWith Eric and Val walking on eggshells aroundeach other, he confides in Diane and becomesresolute he won’t let his marriage fail. With anew sense of purpose, he sets about wooinghis wife, but is he ready for intimacy? Pete andDebbie continue to keep their dalliances asecret and agree to meet again.

THE GREAT BRITISHSEWING BEE8pm, BBC2The seven remainingcontestants are tested ontheir ability to makechildren’s clothes, creatinga pair of dungarees for atoddler and a fancy dress outfit.

BENIDORM ER8pm, Channel 5Pensioner Dennis is brought in by his twoolder sisters when he becomes severelybloated. Medical staff pump eight litres offluid from his stomach and he is rushed tothe intensive care unit. Barmaid Janice suffersa panic attack after coming in to the hospitalwith a sore throat and a lump in her neck.


10.00White Chicks (S) (2004).See Choices Above.●

12.20 Two and a Half Men(R,S,HD). Charlie dates a judge.12.50 Two and a Half Men(R,S,HD). 1.15 The VampireDiaries (R,S,HD). Stefan informsthe others about Katherine’sdeclining health. 2.05 Life’sFunniest Moments (R). 2.25Teleshopping. Home shopping.

THE TASTE9pm, Channel 4After nine weeks of toughtasks and tantrums in thekitchen, just four cooksremain, and their firstchallenge is all aboutchampagne as they createcanapes to accompany a glass of bubbly.

BBC1

SHETLAND9pm, BBC1The crime dramareturns for three two-part stories. DI JimmyPerez (DouglasHenshall) and his teamlook into a past crimeto solve the murder of a teenage girl.


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6.00 Milkshake!. 9.15 The Wright Stuff(HD). 11.10 Police Interceptors (R,S).12.10 5 News Lunchtime (S,HD). 12.15The Hotel Inspector (R,S,HD). TheParamount Hotel in Nottingham. 1.15Home and Away (S,HD). 1.45 Neighbours(S,HD). 2.15 NCIS (R,S). 3.15 Film:McBride: Murder Past Midnight (S)(2005). Mystery, starring John Larroquette.●●● 5.00 5 News at 5 (S,HD). 5.30Neighbours (R,S,HD).

7.00 Highland Emergency(R,S,HD). 26/30. Two hikers arestranded on the Isle of Skye.

7.30 Police 5 (S,HD). Crimeprevention advice. Followed by5 News Update.

8.00 Benidorm ER (S,HD). SeeChoices Above.

9.00 The Mentalist (S,HD). 11/22.Jane is called in to advise theFBI when five DrugEnforcement Administrationofficers are killed in a shoot-outand ends up asking the primesuspect’s girlfriend out on adate.

11.55 Body of Proof (R,S,HD). 9/20.A medical student helps Meganon an investigation.

10.00 Law & Order: Special VictimsUnit (S,HD). 6/24. Abusinessman is found tied up,stripped and branded.

10.55 Body of Proof (R,S,HD). 8/20. Thebody of pharmaceutical rep AmyGreen is pulled out of the riverand Megan and the team discoverthat all the blood appears to havebeen drained from it.

12.50 SuperCasino. Live interactivegaming. 3.05 It Takes a Thief to Catch aThief (R,S,HD). Advice for retailers ondeterring shoplifters. 4.00 House Doctor(R,S). 4.20 House Doctor (R,S). AWarrington makeover. 4.45 Great Artists(R,S). English painter JMW Turner. 5.10Wildlife SOS (R,S). A badger cub is rescued.5.35 Wildlife SOS (R,S).

BENIDORM ER8pm, Channel 5Pensioner Dennis is brought in by his twoolder sisters when he becomes severelybloated. Medical staff pump eight litres offluid from his stomach and he is rushed tothe intensive care unit. Barmaid Janice suffersa panic attack after coming in to the hospitalwith a sore throat and a lump in her neck.


7.00 You’ve Been Framed!(R,S). 6/26. Featuring anexploding beer can.

7.30 You’ve Been Framed!(R,S). Unlikely insuranceclaims.

6.00 Dinner Date (R,S,HD).28/30. Matt fromGuildford chooses threeblind dates.

8.00 Two and a Half Men(R,S,HD). 3/19. Charliedates a judge.

8.30 Two and a Half Men(R,S,HD). 4/19. Charlieand Linda grow closer.

10.00White Chicks (S) (2004).See Choices Above.●

12.20 Two and a Half Men(R,S,HD). Charlie dates a judge.12.50 Two and a Half Men(R,S,HD). 1.15 The VampireDiaries (R,S,HD). Stefan informsthe others about Katherine’sdeclining health. 2.05 Life’sFunniest Moments (R). 2.25Teleshopping. Home shopping.

9.00 The Vampire Diaries(S,HD). 11/22. SeeChoices Above.



8.00 Charmed (R,S). 8.55 Glee (R,S,HD).10.05 New Girl (R,S,HD). 10.35 TheMindy Project (R,S,HD). 11.00Charmed (R,S). 12.00 Rules ofEngagement (R,S,HD). 12.30 Hollyoaks(R,S,HD). 1.00 How I Met Your Mother(R,S,HD). 2.00 The Big Bang Theory(R,S,HD). 3.00 New Girl (R,S,HD). 3.30The Mindy Project (R,S,HD). 4.00 Rulesof Engagement (R,S,HD). 5.00 How IMet Your Mother (R,S,HD).

7.00 Hollyoaks (S,HD).7.30 Rude Tube: The Best

of the Best (R,S).7.45Mission: Impossible

(S,HD) (1996). SeeChoices Above.●●●●

10.00 Troy (S,HD). 5/6. Themagician continues tobaffle and amazeunsuspecting membersof the public, going onan unusual shoppingspree before causingconfusion at a funfair.

12.00 Rude Tube: Rude Zoo (R,S,HD).1.00 How I Met Your Mother(R,S,HD). 1.30 Rules of Engagement(R,S,HD). 2.00 Rules of Engagement(R,S,HD). 2.25 The Ricky GervaisShow (R,S,HD). 2.55 The ClevelandShow (R,S,HD). 3.20 The ClevelandShow (R,S,HD). 3.40 Glee (R,S,HD).4.40 Ugly Betty (R,S,HD).


6.30 The Simpsons (R,S,HD).13/22. Lisa begins awhirlwind romance.

6.00 UK Border Force (R,S,HD).7.00 Airline USA (R,S). 8.00Modern Family (R,S,HD). 9.00Futurama (R,S). 10.00 HawaiiFive-0 (R,S,HD). 12.00 NCIS: LosAngeles (R,S,HD). 2.00 Harrow: AVery British School (R,S,HD). 3.00Greggs: More Than Meats thePie (R,S,HD). 4.00 Futurama (R,S).5.00 The Simpsons (R,S,HD). 5.30Modern Family (R,S,HD).

7.00 The Simpsons (R,S).7/22. Marge joins awomen’s group.

7.30 The Simpsons (R,S).8/22. Homer tackles abiker gang.

8.00 Hawaii Five-0 (R,S,HD).8/24. McGarrett andGrover bring in a manwho has a large amountof parking tickets, but itturns out he is actually acomputer hackerlooking to sell secrets.

10.00 The Smoke (R,S,HD).3/8. The White Watchfirefighters turn up inforce to cheer on LittleAl in his latest cagefight, unaware he hasbeen told to throw thecontest by a localgangster.

12.00 NCIS: Los Angeles (R,S,HD).Part two of two. The hunt for theblack book continues. 1.00 HawaiiFive-0 (R,S,HD). 2.00 Hawaii Five-0 (R,S,HD). 3.00 Road Wars(R,S,HD). 4.00 Harrow: A VeryBritish School (R,S,HD). 5.00Greggs: More Than Meats thePie (R,S,HD).

11.00 NCIS: Los Angeles(R,S,HD). 9/24. Part oneof two. The teamsearches for a bookcontaining top-secretinformation.

9.00 NCIS: Los Angeles(R,S,HD). 7/24. The gangfaces a race against timewhen a whistlebloweraccuses a train companyof using its fleet as abomb delivery service.Chris O’Donnell, LL Cool Jand Daniela Ruah star.

6.00 Last of the SummerWine (S). 6/11. Clegg,Truly and Alvin upset agroup of pensioners.

6.40 Only Fools and Horses(S). Christmas specialfrom 1987. Del-Boy goesin search of treasure.

7.40 ’Allo ’Allo! (S). 8.50 As TimeGoes By (S). 9.30 GoodnightSweetheart. 10.10 One Foot in theGrave (S). 10.50 Waiting for God(S). 11.30 Last of the Summer Wine(S). 12.50 Ever Decreasing Circles(S). 1.30 Steptoe and Son (S). 2.10’Allo ’Allo! (S). 3.20 As Time GoesBy (S). 4.00 Goodnight Sweetheart.4.40 One Foot in the Grave (S). 5.20Last of the Summer Wine (S).

8.00 The Two RonniesSketchbook (S). 1/7.Messrs Barker andCorbett reunite toprovide an insight intotheir remarkablecomedy career. KatieMelua guests.

10.00 Only Fools and Horses(S). Del-Boy embarks ona new romance withRaquel, an actress hemeets through acomputer dating agency.Feature-lengthChristmas special from1988, starring DavidJason.

11.40Men Behaving Badly(S). 2/7. Gary suspectsDorothy is having anaffair.

12.20 Early Doors (S). Liam plans asurprise for Melanie. 1.00Absolutely Fabulous (S). Edinagoes on a diet. 1.30 Men BehavingBadly (S). Gary suspects Dorothy ishaving an affair. 2.00 Early Doors(S). Liam plans a surprise forMelanie. 2.30 AbsolutelyFabulous (S). 3.00 Close

9.00 Harry Hill’s TV Burp.8/13. Comic review of TVfavourites.

9.30 Harry Hill’s TV Burp.9/13. A quirky look atLemur Island, Wags’Boutique and Lewis.

6.00 Revista De La Liga(HD). Highlights from LaLiga.

9.00 Premier League Review (HD).10.00 The Footballers’ FootballShow (HD). 11.00 Football Gold(S,HD). 11.30 SPFL Round-Up (HD).12.00 FL72 Review. 1.00 FootballGold (S,HD). 1.30 Premier LeagueReview (HD). 2.30 The Footballers’Football Show (HD). 3.30 FL72Review. 4.30 Football Gold (S). 5.00SPFL Round-Up (HD). 5.30 Football’sGreatest International Teams (S,HD).

7.00 Live UEFA ChampionsLeague (HD). AtleticoMadrid v AC Milan (Kick-off 7.45pm). Coverage ofthe last-16 second-legencounter at the EstadioVicente Calderon, wherethe hosts hold a 1-0 leadfrom the first leg.Atletico have been oneof the teams of theseason in Europe,progressing throughtheir group with easeand pushing La Ligarivals Barcelona and RealMadrid all the way, whileMilan are a shadow oftheir former selves thisterm.

11.15 Premier LeagueReview (HD). A lookback at recent fixtures inthe English PremierLeague.

12.15 UEFA Champions LeagueHighlights (HD). 1.15 Revista De LaLiga (HD). 2.15 Sportswomen (S,HD).2.45 Football Gold (S,HD). 3.00 UEFAChampions League Highlights (HD).4.00 Premier League Review (HD).5.00 Football Asia (S). 5.30 Football’sGreatest International Teams (S,HD).

10.15 Revista De La Liga(HD). Scott Mintopresents highlights ofthe latest La Ligamatches in Spain.

The Vampire Diaries, 9pm Troy, 10pm NCIS: Los Angeles, 9pm Men Behaving Badly, 11.40pm Live UEFA ... 7pm

THE TASTE9pm, Channel 4After nine weeks of toughtasks and tantrums in thekitchen, just four cooksremain, and their firstchallenge is all aboutchampagne as they createcanapes to accompany a glass of bubbly.

THE VAMPIRE DIARIES9pm, ITV2Stefan informs Elena, Caroline and Bonnieabout Katherine’s declining health, leadingNadia to come up with a frightening plot totry and protect her mother. Meanwhile,Damon, Matt and Jeremy discuss some of theailing vampire’s most notorious moments.Supernatural drama, starring Nina Dobrev.

11.05 The Big Bang Theory(R,S,HD). 9/24. Penny’sdad pays a visit.


7.00 Snog, Marry,Avoid? (R,S,HD).Comedienne EllieTaylor meets twoaspiring Barbiesin Wales.

7.30 Snog, Marry,Avoid? (R,S,HD).Ellie Taylor triesthe “cyber goth”look. Last in theseries.

8.00 Don’t Tell theBride (R,S). Aman fromBlackpool planshis nuptials.

9.00 Hair (S,HD). Thechallengers createa 12cm-highbeehive.

10.00 Pramface (S,HD).Laura and Jamiego flat-hunting.


11.00 Family Guy (R,S).11.25 Family Guy (R,S).11.45 American Dad!

(R,S).12.10 Hair (R,S,HD). 1.10Pramface (R,S,HD). 1.40EDL Girls: Don’t Call MeRacist (R,S,HD). 2.40 GreatMovie Mistakes:Revenge of the Fifth(R,S). 3.00 Hair (R,S).


7.30 Great BritishRailwayJourneys Goesto Ireland(R,HD).

8.00Weird Nature8.30 Secrets of

Bones (HD).9.00 Fossil

Wonderland:Nature’s HiddenTreasures (HD).

10.00 The First WorldWar (R).

10.50 Agnetha: Abba& After (R,HD).The story ofAgnetha Faltskog’smusic career.

11.50 Good Swan, BadSwan: DancingSwan LakeTamara Rojoprepares for herchallenging dualrole in Swan Lake.(R,HD).

12.50 The Golden Age ofSteam Railways (R,HD).1.50 Weird Nature (R).2.20 Secrets of Bones(R,HD). 2.55 FossilWonderland: Nature’sHidden Treasures (R).

WHITE CHICKS10pm, ITV2Two black male FBIagents are forced topose as white femaledebutantes to protect acouple of heiresses.Comedy, starring Shawnand Marlon Wayans.

MISSION:IMPOSSIBLE7.45pm, E4A secret agent isaccused of betraying hisfellow spies, and setsout on a mission toclear his name. StarringTom Cruise.


FILM

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S

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6.00 Breakfast (S,HD). 9.15 Heir Hunters(S,HD). 10.00 Homes Under the Hammer(R,S,HD). 11.00 Countryside 999 (S,HD).11.45 Watchdog Test House (S,HD). 12.15Bargain Hunt (S,HD). 1.00 BBC News;Weather (S,HD). 1.30 Regional News (S);Weather. 1.45 Doctors (S,HD). 2.15Perfection (S,HD). 3.00 Escape to theCountry (S,HD). 3.45 James Martin’s FoodMap of Britain (R,S,HD). 4.15 Flog It!Trade Secrets (S,HD). 5.15 Pointless (S,HD).

7.00 The One Show (S,HD). MattBaker and Alex Jones presentthe live magazine showfeaturing topical reports fromaround the UK. Followed byBBC News; Regional News.

6.00 BBC News (S,HD); Weather.6.30 Regional News (S); Weather.6.55 Party Political Broadcast

(R,S,HD). By the ConservativeParty.

8.00Waterloo Road (S,HD). 20/20.Christine deals with therepercussions of her drink-driving offence, while jealousGabriella causes an accidentthat throws Kacey’s boxingcareer into jeopardy. Last in theseries.

9.00 Famous, Rich & Hungry(S,HD). 1/2. See Choices Above.


by National Lottery Update.10.35 A Question of Sport (S,HD).

19/36. Light-hearted quiz,hosted by Sue Barker.

11.05 The Michael McIntyre ChatShow (R,S,HD). 1/6. Thefunnyman meets Terry Wogan,Lily Allen and Alan Sugar.

11.55 Blandings (R,S,HD). 4/7.Clarence grows a beard, muchto the dismay of his family.


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6.00 Daybreak (S,HD). 8.30 Lorraine (S).9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show (R). 10.30This Morning (S). 12.30 Loose Women(S,HD). Topical debate from a femaleperspective. 1.30 ITV News and Weather(S). 1.55 ITV News West Country (S). 2.00Dickinson’s Real Deal (S,HD). DavidDickinson travels to Colwyn Bay. 3.00 TheAlan Titchmarsh Show (S,HD). 3.59Regional Programme (S). 4.00 TippingPoint (S,HD). 5.00 The Chase (S,HD).

6.00 Live Paralympic Winter Games (S).Coverage of the fifth day of events in Sochiand Krasnaya Polyana, Russia. 8.00 TheMorning Line (S,HD). 9.00 LiveParalympic Winter Games (S). 11.00Undercover Boss Canada (R,S). 12.00River Cottage Veg Heroes (R,S,HD). 12.30Channel 4 News Midday Summary (S).12.35 Cheltenham Festival: Channel 4Racing (S,HD). 4.30 Four in a Bed (S). 5.00Come Dine with Me (R,S,HD).

6.00 Milkshake!. 9.15 The Wright Stuff(HD). 11.10 Police Interceptors (R,S).12.10 5 News Lunchtime (S,HD). 12.15The Gadget Show (R,S,HD). The ultimatehome cinema set-up. 1.15 Home andAway (S,HD). 1.45 Neighbours (S,HD).2.15 NCIS (R,S). 3.15 Film: McBride: TheChameleon Murder (S) (2005). Crimedrama, starring John Larroquette.●● 5.005 News at 5 (S,HD). 5.30 Neighbours(R,S,HD).

7.00 Emmerdale (S,HD). Eric andVal admit defeat.

7.30 Coronation Street (S,HD).Peter is horrified when Tinasuggests they should tell Carlathe truth.

6.00 Regional News (S); Weather.6.25 Party Political Broadcast (R).

By the Conservative Party.6.30 ITV News and Weather (S).

6.00 The Simpsons (R,S). 17/22.6.30 Hollyoaks (S,HD). Sinead

battles Diane for custody ofKaty at the child protectionconference.

6.00 Home and Away (R,S,HD).The twins discover Zac sleptwith Hannah.



Weather.10.35 The Miners’ Strike and Me

(S,HD). See Choices Above.

12.35 Jackpot247. Interactive gaming.3.00 Film: Columbo: StrangeBedfellows (S,HD) (1995). See ChoicesAbove.●● 4.35 ITV Nightscreen (HD).Text-based information service. 5.05 TheJeremy Kyle Show (R,S,HD). Guests airtheir differences.


Highlights (S). Action from thefifth day of events in Sochi andKrasnaya Polyana, Russia.

8.00 Secret Eaters (S). 1/8. Newseries. Two friends agree tohave their eating habitsscrutinised 24 hours a day tofind out why they are failing toshed the pounds despiteworking hard at the gym.

9.00 Astronauts: Living in Space(S). 1/3. See Choices Above.

10.00 First Dates (S). 5/8. Corinnehopes it will be third time lucky,Mostafa’s new date Megan hasa list of qualities she is lookingfor in a man and Tommycontinues his search for MrRight.

12.00 Random Acts (S). 12.05Cheltenham Festival Highlights (S,HD).12.50 Film: The Sea Inside (HD) (2004).Drama, with Javier Bardem.●●●●● 3.00Film: Niagara (S,HD) (1953). See ChoicesAbove.●●●● 4.30 Location, Location,Location (R,S,HD). 5.25 Kirstie’sHandmade Treasures (R,S,HD). 5.45River Cottage Bites (R,S,HD).

7.00 Dangerous Drivers’ School(R,S,HD). The return of thedocumentary in whichmotorists re-learn the skillsrequired to drive safely.Followed by 5 News Update.

8.00 The Hitchhiker Slayer: Bornto Kill? (S,HD). A psychologicalprofile of American serial killerThor Nis Christiansen, who wassentenced to life imprisonmentfor murdering four womenbetween 1976 and 1979.Followed by 5 News at 9.

9.00 NCIS (S,HD). 6/24. Part one oftwo. A Navy lieutenant diesafter a fight, but the onlywitness suffers from PTSD andhas trouble distinguishingreality from his militaryexperiences abroad.

11.00 CSI: Crime SceneInvestigation (R,S,HD). 1/22.Russell sets out to rescue hiskidnapped granddaughter.

11.55 Law & Order: Special VictimsUnit (R,S,HD). 4/19.

10.00 Suspects (S,HD). 5/10. Jack andCharlie are called out in theearly hours after a 13-year-oldgirl is stabbed, and discoverevidence of a previous sexualassault and that the teenagerwas pregnant.

12.50 SuperCasino. Live interactivegaming. 3.05 70-Stone and Almost Dead(R,S,HD). Documentary following 70-stoneKeith Mason as he prepares for vitalsurgery. 4.00 House Doctor (R,S). 4.20House Doctor (R,S). A Victorian property inCamden, north London. 4.45HouseBusters (R,S). 5.10 Wildlife SOS(R,S). 5.35 Wildlife SOS (R,S).

6.00 Homes Under the Hammer (R,S,HD).7.00 Countryside 999 (R,S,HD). 7.45Watchdog Test House (R,S,HD). 8.15 SignZone (R,S). 11.00 BBC News (S,HD). 11.30Daily Politics (S). 1.00 The A to Z of TVCooking (R,S,HD). 1.20 War Walks (R,S).1.50 British Isles: A Natural History (R,S).2.40 Cagney & Lacey (R,S). 3.25 Bergerac(R,S). 4.15 Are You Being Served? (R,S).4.45 ’Allo ’Allo! (R,S). 5.15 VintageAntiques Roadshow (R,S). 5.55 PartyPolitical Broadcast (S,HD).

7.00 Antiques Road Trip (R,S,HD).19&20/30. Anita Manning andJonathan Pratt travel throughnorth Wales.

6.00 Revenge of the Egghead(S,HD). 13/30. Spin-off from thepopular quiz, hosted by JeremyVine.

6.30 Sport Relief’s Top Dog(S,HD). 8/15.

8.00 Collectaholics (S,HD). 1/3.New series. Mel Giedroyc andMark Hill help peoplecatalogue, curate, clear out andshowcase their collections,beginning by advising a manon storage for his 7,000 beercans.

9.00 Line of Duty (S,HD). 5/6. SeeChoices Above.

10.00 Inside No 9 (S,HD). 6/6. Awoman is hired to look after abedridden, elderly man for theevening. Last in the series.


11.20 An Hour to Save Your Life(R,S,HD). 2/3. A motorcyclist iscritically injured in a high-speedroad accident.

11.40 The Jonathan Ross Show(R,S,HD). 10/10. With JenniferHudson, Richard Branson, SuePerkins and Elbow. Last in theseries.

11.00 Strippers (R,S). 3/3. The lives ofexotic dancers in Aberdeen.Last in the series.

12.20 Sign Zone: See Hear (R,S,HD).12.50 This Is BBC Two (S). Preview ofupcoming programmes. 4.00 BBCLearning Zone (S). 4.00 Schools – TheCode (S). 4.30 Who Needs Maths? (S,HD).5.00 Schools: 3, 2, 1 Go! – Key Stage 2(S,HD). 5.55 Wonders of Nature:Mandarin Duck – First Flight (S,HD).

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8.00 You Saw Them Here First(S,HD). 1/2. See Choices Above.

9.00 Law & Order: UK (S,HD). 1/8.See Choices Above.

Waterloo Road, 8pm Collectaholics, 8pm Coronation Street, 7.30pm First Dates, 10pm Suspects, 10pm

YOU SAW THEM HERE FIRST8pm, ITVMore TV debuts by some of Britain’s best-known actors and actresses, presenters andpop stars, plus long-forgotten footage fromyesteryear. In the video vault, Brian Blessed isreminded of the moment Judi Dench spat athim on Z Cars and Alison Steadman watchesherself lock lips with another woman.

THE MINERS’ STRIKEAND ME10.35pm, ITVA look back at one of thebiggest industrial disputesin British history, 30 yearson, telling the stories ofthe men and womenwhose lives were changed for ever.

LAW & ORDER: UK9pm, ITVReturn of the detective drama starringBradley Walsh. Ronnie and new partner Joelead the investigation into the death ofjeweller Harry Bernstein, who has beenfound with his hands and teeth missing. Hiswife, her lover and a former businessassociate are all possible suspects.

6.00 Emmerdale (R,S,HD). 6.25 HolidayAirport: Lanzarote (R). 7.25 You’veBeen Framed! (R,S). 7.45 The JeremyKyle Show USA (R,S). 8.30 Dinner Date(R,S,HD). 9.30 The Real Housewives ofAtlanta (R,S,HD). 10.30 The RealHousewives of New Jersey (R,S,HD).11.30 Millionaire Matchmaker(R,S,HD). 12.30 Emmerdale (R,S,HD).1.00 The Cube (R,S,HD). 2.00 TheJeremy Kyle Show (R,S). 4.10 The RealHousewives of New Jersey (S,HD). 5.05Millionaire Matchmaker (S,HD).



11.50 Two and a Half Men(R,S,HD). 5/19. Charlie isforced to keep hisgirlfriend’s son amused.

12.20 Two and a Half Men(R,S,HD). 12.50 Fake Reaction(R,S,HD). With Ryan Fletcher,Dougie Poynter, Mae Martin andMutya Buena. Last in the series.1.40 Party Wright Around theWorld (R,S,HD). Mark Wright getsa taste of aristocratic life. 2.30Teleshopping. Home shopping.

ASTRONAUTS: LIVING INSPACE9pm, Channel 4The first of threeprogrammes in the Live fromSpace season, made incollaboration with Nasa,revealing what it is like tolive and work outside Earth’s atmosphere.

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FAMOUS, RICH &HUNGRY9pm, BBC1Part one of two. CherylFergison, TheoPaphitis, Jamie Laingand Rachel Johnsonspend time withpeople who can barely afford to eat.


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6.00 Milkshake!. 9.15 The Wright Stuff(HD). 11.10 Police Interceptors (R,S).12.10 5 News Lunchtime (S,HD). 12.15The Gadget Show (R,S,HD). The ultimatehome cinema set-up. 1.15 Home andAway (S,HD). 1.45 Neighbours (S,HD).2.15 NCIS (R,S). 3.15 Film: McBride: TheChameleon Murder (S) (2005). Crimedrama, starring John Larroquette.●● 5.005 News at 5 (S,HD). 5.30 Neighbours(R,S,HD).

7.00 Dangerous Drivers’ School(R,S,HD). The return of thedocumentary in whichmotorists re-learn the skillsrequired to drive safely.Followed by 5 News Update.

8.00 The Hitchhiker Slayer: Bornto Kill? (S,HD). A psychologicalprofile of American serial killerThor Nis Christiansen, who wassentenced to life imprisonmentfor murdering four womenbetween 1976 and 1979.Followed by 5 News at 9.

9.00 NCIS (S,HD). 6/24. Part one oftwo. A Navy lieutenant diesafter a fight, but the onlywitness suffers from PTSD andhas trouble distinguishingreality from his militaryexperiences abroad.

11.00 CSI: Crime SceneInvestigation (R,S,HD). 1/22.Russell sets out to rescue hiskidnapped granddaughter.

11.55 Law & Order: Special VictimsUnit (R,S,HD). 4/19.

10.00 Suspects (S,HD). 5/10. Jack andCharlie are called out in theearly hours after a 13-year-oldgirl is stabbed, and discoverevidence of a previous sexualassault and that the teenagerwas pregnant.

12.50 SuperCasino. Live interactivegaming. 3.05 70-Stone and Almost Dead(R,S,HD). Documentary following 70-stoneKeith Mason as he prepares for vitalsurgery. 4.00 House Doctor (R,S). 4.20House Doctor (R,S). A Victorian property inCamden, north London. 4.45HouseBusters (R,S). 5.10 Wildlife SOS(R,S). 5.35 Wildlife SOS (R,S).

6.00 Emmerdale (R,S,HD). 6.25 HolidayAirport: Lanzarote (R). 7.25 You’veBeen Framed! (R,S). 7.45 The JeremyKyle Show USA (R,S). 8.30 Dinner Date(R,S,HD). 9.30 The Real Housewives ofAtlanta (R,S,HD). 10.30 The RealHousewives of New Jersey (R,S,HD).11.30 Millionaire Matchmaker(R,S,HD). 12.30 Emmerdale (R,S,HD).1.00 The Cube (R,S,HD). 2.00 TheJeremy Kyle Show (R,S). 4.10 The RealHousewives of New Jersey (S,HD). 5.05Millionaire Matchmaker (S,HD).

7.00 You’ve Been Framed!(R,S). 7/26. A practicaljoke has a sticky ending.

7.30 You’ve Been Framed!(R,S). Comical clips.

6.00 Dinner Date (R,S,HD).22/30. Potential suitorswoo a single man fromLondon.


8.30 Two and a Half Men(R,S,HD). 6/19. Jakeattends a concert.




12.20 Two and a Half Men(R,S,HD). 12.50 Fake Reaction(R,S,HD). With Ryan Fletcher,Dougie Poynter, Mae Martin andMutya Buena. Last in the series.1.40 Party Wright Around theWorld (R,S,HD). Mark Wright getsa taste of aristocratic life. 2.30Teleshopping. Home shopping.

9.00 Party Wright Aroundthe World (S,HD). 3/6.Mark Wright gets a tasteof aristocratic life, livingfor a week withBenjamin Slade and his20-year-old godsonArthur at Maunsel Housein Somerset.



6.00 Switched (R,S). 6.25 90210(R,S,HD). 7.10 Ugly Betty (R,S,HD). 8.00Charmed (R,S). 9.00 Glee (R,S,HD).10.00 New Girl (R,S,HD). 10.30 TheMindy Project (R,S,HD). 11.00Charmed (R,S). 12.00 Rules ofEngagement (R,S,HD). 12.30 Hollyoaks(R,S,HD). 1.00 How I Met Your Mother(R,S,HD). 2.00 The Big Bang Theory(R,S,HD). 3.00 New Girl (R,S,HD). 3.30The Mindy Project (R,S,HD). 4.00 Rulesof Engagement (R,S,HD). 5.00 How IMet Your Mother (R,S,HD).

7.00 Hollyoaks (S,HD).Freddie comes up with arisky plan that will allowSinead to be with Katy.


8.00 How I Met YourMother (R,S,HD). 5/24.Barney is forced to pickbetween Robin and hismother.


10.00 Rude Tube: Rude Zoo(R,S,HD). 7/8. Alex Zanepresents a selection ofthe internet’s funniestanimal clips, includingfootage of the ultimatedog tease, not-so-cuddlykoalas, killer cats and aruthless honey badger.

12.00 Brooklyn Nine-Nine(R,S,HD). 12.35 The Inbetweeners(R,S). 1.05 Rude Tube: ExtremeRides (R,S,HD). 2.05 The ClevelandShow (R,S,HD). 2.30 The ClevelandShow (R,S,HD). 2.55 Bob’s Burgers(R,S,HD). 3.15 2 Broke Girls(R,S,HD). 3.40 Glee (R,S,HD). 4.25Ugly Betty (R,S,HD).

9.00 The Tomorrow People(S,HD). 10/22. Stephenthinks he has an ideaabout what happened tohis father, and Johnreveals shocking newsthat leads the TomorrowPeople to make anunexpected decisionabout their future.


6.30 The Simpsons (R,S).6/22. Homer becomes acelebrity.

6.00 UK Border Force (R,S,HD).7.00 Airline USA (R,S,HD). 8.00Modern Family (R,S,HD). 9.00Futurama (R,S). 10.00 HawaiiFive-0 (R,S,HD). 12.00 NCIS: LosAngeles (R,S,HD). 2.00 Harrow: AVery British School (R,S,HD). 3.00Greggs: More Than Meats thePie (R,S,HD). 4.00 Futurama (R,S).5.00 The Simpsons (R,S). 5.30Modern Family (R,S,HD).

7.00 The Simpsons (R,S).12/22. With the guestvoice of Britney Spears.

7.30 Live UEFA ChampionsLeague (HD). ParisSaint-Germain v BayerLeverkusen (Kick-off7.45pm). Coverage ofthe second leg of thelast-16 encounter at theParc des Princes.Subsequent programmesare subject to change.

10.00 Duck Quacks Don’tEcho (R,S,HD). 5/8. LeeMack hosts the comedypanel game, with actressKathy Burke, Kumarshost Sanjeev Bhaskarand Touch of Cloth starJohn Hannah talkingabout amazing facts andrandom trivia.

12.00 NCIS: Los Angeles (R,S,HD).The agents investigate a shoot-out.1.00 NCIS: Los Angeles (R,S,HD).2.00 Hawaii Five-0 (R,S,HD). 3.00Hawaii Five-0 (R,S,HD). 4.00Harrow: A Very British School(R,S,HD). 5.00 Greggs: More ThanMeats the Pie (R,S,HD).

11.00 Armed andDangerous: UltimateForces (R,S). 7/8. SriLanka’s Special TaskForce.

6.20 Only Fools and Horses(S). Christmas specialfrom 1988. Del tries adating agency.

6.00Waiting for God 6.30 EverDecreasing Circles 7.00 Steptoe andSon 7.40 ’Allo ’Allo! 8.20 Yes, PrimeMinister 9.00 As Time Goes By 9.40Goodnight Sweetheart. 10.20 One Footin the Grave 11.00Waiting for God11.40 Last of the SummerWine 12.20Just aMinute. 1.00 Ever DecreasingCircles 1.40 Steptoe and Son 2.20 ’Allo’Allo! 3.00 Yes, PrimeMinister 3.40 AsTime Goes By 4.20 GoodnightSweetheart. 5.00 One Foot in the Grave5.40 Last of the SummerWine

8.00 Porridge (S). Fletchdiscovers fellow inmatesat Slade Prison areplanning an escape overChristmas, and isconvinced it is doomed.Comedy, with RonnieBarker.

10.00 Only Fools and Horses(S). 1/6. Del-Boy becomesa yuppie and Rodneybegins attending acomputer course atnight school, where hemeets Cassandra. DavidJason and NicholasLyndhurst star.

11.05Men Behaving Badly(S). 3/7. Gary tries to ruinDorothy’s newrelationship.

11.45 Early Doors (S). 3/6.Jean’s hopes of a holidayare dashed.

12.25 Absolutely Fabulous (S).Edina and Patsy head for Provence.1.00 Porridge (S). Christmas specialfrom 1975. The inmates plan aChristmas escape. 1.45 MenBehaving Badly (S). Gary tries toruin Dorothy’s new relationship.2.15 Early Doors (S). Jean’s hopesof a holiday are dashed. 3.00 Close

9.00 Bring Me Morecambe&Wise (S). 1/5. Tribute tothe comedy double act,featuring clips from someof their earliest TVperformances and aninterview with EricMorecambe’s widowJoan. Narrated byVictoria Wood.

6.00 Boots ’n’ All (HD).Super League review.

6.00 Good Morning Sports Fans 9.00UEFA Champions League Highlights10.00 Premier League Review 11.00Revista De La Liga 12.00 Football’sGreatest International Teams 12.30Football Asia 1.00 UEFA ChampionsLeague Highlights 2.00 Football’sGreatest International Teams 2.30Football Asia 3.00 Football’sGreatest Teams 4.30 UEFAChampions League Highlights. 5.00Football’s Greatest InternationalTeams 5.30 Football Asia

7.00 Live UEFA ChampionsLeague (HD). Barcelonav Manchester City (Kick-off 7.45pm). All theaction from the last-16second-leg encounter atthe Nou Camp, whereCity aim to overturn a 2-0deficit.

11.15 InternationalTwenty20 Cricket (HD).South Africa v Australia.

12.15 UEFA Champions LeagueHighlights (HD). 1.15What’s theStory? (HD). 2.15 Football Gold(S,HD). 2.30 Football Gold (S,HD).2.45 Football Gold (S,HD). 3.00UEFA Champions LeagueHighlights (HD). 4.00What’s theStory? (HD). 5.00 UEFA ChampionsLeague Highlights (HD).

10.15What’s the Story? (HD).Sarah-Jane Mee presentsa discussion showfocusing on recent sportsdevelopments.

Party Wright … 9pm How I Met Your … 7.30pm Live UEFA … 7.30pm Porride, 8pm Live UEFA… 7pm

ASTRONAUTS: LIVING INSPACE9pm, Channel 4The first of threeprogrammes in the Live fromSpace season, made incollaboration with Nasa,revealing what it is like tolive and work outside Earth’s atmosphere.

LINE OF DUTY9pm, BBC2Denton fights for her life as disturbingdetails emerge of a conspiracy involvingcorrupt officers, and Arnott uncoversstartling new details about the detective’spersonal life which appear to support herclaim that she is being framed. Crime thriller,starring Adrian Dunbar and Keeley Hawes.

11.00My Mad Fat Diary(R,S,HD). 4/7. Liam’s newgirlfriend Amy threatensto beat up Rae.

7.00 Total Wipeout(R,S). Adventuregame show,hosted by RichardHammond andAmanda Byram.

8.00 Free Speech(S,HD). Livedebate fromBirminghamCentral Mosque.

9.00Who NeedsIbiza? The GreatBritish Holiday(S,HD). Part oneof two. Followingthe owners of an18-30s campsitein Devon.

10.00 Ja’mie: PrivateSchool Girl(S,HD).

10.30 Bad Education(R,S,HD).

11.00 Family Guy (R,S).11.25 Family Guy (R,S).11.45 American Dad!

(R,S).12.10 American Dad!(R,S). 12.30 Who NeedsIbiza? The Great BritishHoliday (R,S,HD). 1.30Ja’mie: Private SchoolGirl (R,S,HD). 2.00 FreeSpeech (R,S,HD). 2.55Impractical Jokers(R,S,HD). 3.25 Pramface(R,S).


7.30 Great BritishRailwayJourneys (R,HD).

8.00 The TwoThousand YearOld Computer(R,HD). A devicebelieved to be theworld’s oldestcomputer.

9.00 How to GetAhead: AtMedieval Court(HD). New series.How peoplesucceeded in themost artistic royalcourts in history.

10.00 Great BarrierReef (R,HD).

11.00 Parks andRecreation (HD).

11.20 Parks andRecreation (HD).

11.45 PhotographingAfrica (R,HD).

12.45 Lost Kingdoms ofSouth America (R,HD).1.45 The Two ThousandYear Old Computer(R,HD). A device believed tobe the world’s oldestcomputer. 2.45 How toGet Ahead: At MedievalCourt (R).

NIAGARA3am, Channel 4A womanhoneymooning atNiagara Falls suspectsanother guest isconspiring to kill herhusband. Thriller, withMarilyn Monroe.

COLUMBO: STRANGEBEDFELLOWS3am, ITVThe sleuth investigatesthe deaths of a horsetrainer’s brother and aMob bookie. Crimedrama, starring PeterFalk and Rod Steiger.


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6.00 Breakfast 9.15 Heir Hunters 10.00Homes Under the Hammer (S,HD). 11.00Countryside 999 (S,HD). 11.45 WatchdogTest House (S,HD). 12.15 Bargain Hunt(R,S,HD). 1.00 BBC News; Weather (S,HD).1.30 Regional News (S); Weather. 1.45Doctors (S,HD). 2.15 Perfection (S,HD).3.00 Escape to the Country (S,HD). 3.45James Martin’s Food Map of Britain(R,S,HD). 4.15 Flog It! Trade Secrets(S,HD). 5.15 Pointless (S,HD).

7.00 The One Show (S,HD). Topicalstories from around the UK.

7.30 EastEnders (S,HD). See ChoicesAbove. Followed by BBC News;Regional News.


8.00 Holiday Hit Squad (S,HD). 2/4.Angela Rippon investigates thepotential dangers of waterparks and Helen Skelton assistsat a beach surgery, whereailments include swimmer’s earand a suspicious mole.

9.00 Famous, Rich & Hungry(S,HD). 2/2. Part two of two.Cheryl Fergison, Theo Paphitis,Jamie Laing and RachelJohnson are pushed to the limittrying to understand what itmeans to go hungry in Britaintoday.

10.00 BBC News (S,HD).10.25 Regional News (S); Weather.10.35 Question Time (S,HD). David

Dimbleby chairs the topicaldebate from Nottingham,where panellists includeDouglas Alexander and NickHewer.

11.35 This Week (S). The past sevendays in politics.

12.20 Skiing Weatherview (S). 12.25 BBCNews (S,HD).

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6.00 Daybreak (S,HD). 8.30 Lorraine (S).9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show (R,S). 10.30This Morning (S). 12.30 Loose Women(S,HD). Topical debate from a femaleperspective. 1.30 ITV News and Weather(S). 1.55 ITV News West Country (S). 2.00Dickinson’s Real Deal (S,HD). The teamvalues antiques in Matlock, Derbyshire. 3.00The Alan Titchmarsh Show (S,HD). 3.59Regional Programme (S). 4.00 TippingPoint (S,HD). 5.00 The Chase (S,HD).

6.00 Live Paralympic Winter Games (S).8.00 The Morning Line (S,HD). 9.00 LiveParalympic Winter Games (S). Continuedcoverage of the sixth day of events in Russia.11.00 Live Paralympic Winter Games (S).More coverage of the sixth day of events inRussia. 12.30 Channel 4 News Summary(S). 12.35 Cheltenham Festival: Channel4 Racing (S,HD). Including the 3.20Ladbrokes World Hurdle. 4.30 Four in aBed (S). 5.00 Come Dine with Me (R,S,HD).

6.00 Milkshake!. 9.15 The Wright Stuff(HD). 11.10 Police Interceptors (R,S).12.10 5 News Lunchtime (S,HD). 12.15Can’t Pay? We’ll Take It Away! (R,S,HD).1.15 Home and Away (S,HD). 1.45Neighbours (S,HD). 2.15 NCIS: LosAngeles (R,S,HD). 3.15 Film: Lying to BePerfect (S) (2010). Romantic comedy, withPoppy Montgomery and Adam Kaufman.●●● 5.00 5 News at 5 (S,HD). 5.30Neighbours (R,S,HD).

7.45 Live UEFA Europa LeagueFootball (S,HD). TottenhamHotspur v Benfica (Kick-off8.05pm). Matt Smith presentscoverage of the last-16 first-legmatch at White Hart Lane.Benfica have a rich tradition inEuropean football havingreached nine finals throughouttheir history, and will belooking to go one better thanlast year when they finished asrunners-up in this competitionafter losing 2-1 to Chelsea. TimSherwood’s men had to rely ontwo second-half goals from starstriker Emmanuel Adebayor inthe previous round toovercome FC Dnipro 3-2 onaggregate, and will need to putin a more accomplishedperformance tonight if they areto gain an advantage ahead ofthe second leg in Lisbon nextweek. See Choices Above.

6.00 Regional News (S); Weather.6.15 ITV News and Weather (S).6.45 Emmerdale (S,HD). Hour-long

episode. Belle decides toconfess to the police.

6.00 The Simpsons (R,S). 18/22.6.30 Hollyoaks (S,HD). Freddie

comes up with a risky plan thatwill allow Sinead to be withKaty.

6.00 Home and Away (R,S,HD). Astranger turns up in the Baylooking for Andy.


10.10 ITV News and Weather (S).10.40 ITV News West Country (S);

Weather.10.45 Edge of Heaven (R,S,HD). 3/6.

Alfie and Michelle decide tokeep their kiss a secret for fearof hurting Carly, but she hasmore important things on hermind, having ventured into theworld of online dating.

12.45 Jackpot247. Interactive gaming.3.00 The Jeremy Kyle Show USA (R,S).The host takes his successful talk showstateside. 3.45 ITV Nightscreen (HD). Text-based information service. 5.05 TheJeremy Kyle Show (R,S,HD). Guests airtheir differences.


Highlights (S). Action from thesixth day of events in Sochi andKrasnaya Polyana, Russia.

8.00 The Hoarder Next Door (S).2/10. A 30-year collection ofantiques and memorabilia thatis creating problems for afamily, and a hoard of birdfigurines so vast it has left aman with no room to eat orshower.

9.00 Astronauts: Houston WeHave a Problem (S). 2/3. Withaccess to Nasa’s mission controlcentre in Texas, this programmefollows the teams who supportcrews in space and examinesthe challenges faced byastronauts when crises occur.

10.00 How to Be a Billionaire(S,HD). See Choices Above.

12.05 Cheltenham Festival Highlights(S,HD). 12.50 Random Acts (S). 12.55 OneBorn Every Minute (R,S). 1.55 FirstDates (R,S). 2.50 Secret Removers(R,S,HD). 3.45 Location, Location,Location (R,S,HD). 4.40 River CottageBites (R,S,HD). 4.50 SuperScrimpers(R,S,HD). 5.15 Deal or No Deal (R,S,HD).

7.00 The Truth About Travellers(R,S). Henry McKean exploresthe importance of religion tothe travelling community.Followed by 5 News Update.

8.00 It Takes a Thief to Catch aThief (S,HD). 2/6. See ChoicesAbove.

9.00 The Hotel Inspector (S,HD).6/8. Alex Polizzi spends a nightas a guest at the strugglingGungate Hotel in Tamworth,Staffordshire, and the next daydelivers a hard-hitting verdictabout her stay to the owner.

11.00 Hayley: World’s OldestTeenager – ExtraordinaryPeople (R,S). A young girl witha premature ageing disease.

10.00 Botched Up Bodies: Abroad(S,HD). British people needingcorrective surgery aftercosmetic procedures theyunderwent overseas wentwrong, including a call centreworker left with lopsided,sagging breasts.

12.00 SuperCasino. Live interactivegaming. 3.05 Booze, Bust-Ups &Brothels: Soho Blues (R,S). Police officersin London’s West End raid a suspectedfraudster’s flat. 4.00 House Doctor (R,S).4.20 House Doctor (R,S). Kitchens anddining rooms. 4.45 HouseBusters (R,S).5.10 Wildlife SOS (R,S). 5.35 Wildlife SOS(R,S).

6.05 Homes Under the Hammer 7.05Countryside 999 7.50 Watchdog TestHouse 8.20 Sign Zone: Wanted DownUnder 9.05 Sign Zone: Bible Hunters10.05 Sign Zone: An Island Parish 10.35HARDtalk 11.00 BBC News 11.30 BBCWorld News 12.00 Daily Politics 1.00 TheA to Z of TV Cooking 1.20 War Walks1.50 British Isles: A Natural History 2.40Cagney & Lacey 3.25 Bergerac 4.15 AreYou Being Served? 4.45 ’Allo ’Allo! 5.15Vintage Antiques Roadshow

7.00 Antiques Road Trip (R,S,HD).21&22/30. David Harper andCatherine Southon set off on aroad trip through Lancashire.

6.00 Revenge of the Egghead(S,HD). 14/30.

6.30 Sport Relief’s Top Dog (S,HD).9/15. Teams captained by WillieThorne and Matt Allwrightcompete.

8.00 The Hairy Bikers’ AsianAdventure (S,HD). 5/6. SeeChoices Above.

9.00My Week with Marilyn (S,HD)(2011). See Choices Above.●●●●


11.20 The Restaurant Man (R,S,HD).4/6. Russell Norman helps theowner of a pizzeria inGravesend, Kent.

11.45 The Cube (R,S,HD). 6/9. ATottenham woman and aretired man take part.

11.05 Arkle: The Legend Lives On(S). The 50th anniversary of theIrish thoroughbred’s victory inthe Cheltenham Gold Cup.

12.20 Sign Zone: A Week in A&E:Condition Critical? – Panorama (R,S).12.50 This Is BBC Two (S). Preview ofupcoming programmes. 4.00 BBCLearning Zone (S,HD). 4.00 Schools: 3, 2,1 Go! (S,HD). Children become involved inthe mathematics that underpins theirfavourite sport. 5.00 Schools – Countingwith Rodd 2 (S,HD).

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Question Time, 10.35pm The Restaurant Man, 11.20pm Emmerdale, 6.45pm The Hoarder Next Door, 8pm NewsTalk Live, 6.30pm

EASTENDERS7.30pm, BBC1Carol’s spirits are lifted when David gives her anengagement ring, although her mood quicklychanges after another run-in with Kat – andthings threaten to go even further downhill asDavid prepares to take the stand at Alice’s trial.Dot is unsure about grandson Charlie but FatBoy persuades her to give him a chance.

HOW TO BE ABILLIONAIRE10pm, Channel 4Some of the world’s richestpeople talk about theirlives and reveal therevolutionary projects theyare working on, includingthe search for immortality.

LIVE UEFA EUROPA LEAGUE FOOTBALL7.45pm, ITVTottenham Hotspur v Benfica (Kick-off8.05pm). Matt Smith presents coverage ofthe last-16 first-leg match at White HartLane, where Spurs face the current leaders ofthe Portuguese Primeira Liga. Benfica have arich tradition in European football havingreached nine finals throughout their history.

6.00 Emmerdale 6.25 CoronationStreet 6.55 You’ve Been Framed!7.45 The Jeremy Kyle Show USA8.30 Dinner Date 9.30 The RealHousewives of Atlanta 10.30 TheReal Housewives of New Jersey11.30 Millionaire Matchmaker12.30 Emmerdale 1.00 CoronationStreet 1.30 You’ve Been Framed!2.00 The Jeremy Kyle Show 4.10The Real Housewives of NewJersey 5.05 MillionaireMatchmaker

10.00 Celebrity Juice (S,HD).1/10. See Choices Above.

10.50 Dads (S,HD). 6/19. Davidand Crawford competefor a woman’saffections.

12.10 Two and a Half Men(R,S,HD). 12.40 Two and a HalfMen (R,S,HD). 1.10 The Only WayIs Essex (R,S,HD). Realityprogramme following a group ofpeople in Essex. 1.55 You’ve BeenFramed! (R,S). 2.20Teleshopping. Home shopping.5.50 ITV2 Nightscreen (HD).

IT TAKES A THIEF TOCATCH A THIEF8pm, Channel 5Richard Taylor and WillDavies help a designerclothing chain that hasrepeatedly been targeted bythieves, and visit a Derbystore owner plagued by shoplifting youngsters.

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THE HAIRY BIKERS’ASIAN ADVENTURE8pm, BBC2Dave Myers and Si Kingconclude their culinaryjourney around Japan,visiting Mount Fuji andspending a night at aBuddhist temple.


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9.00 The Hotel Inspector (S,HD).6/8. Alex Polizzi spends a nightas a guest at the strugglingGungate Hotel in Tamworth,Staffordshire, and the next daydelivers a hard-hitting verdictabout her stay to the owner.

11.00 Hayley: World’s OldestTeenager – ExtraordinaryPeople (R,S). A young girl witha premature ageing disease.

12.00 SuperCasino. Live interactivegaming. 3.05 Booze, Bust-Ups &Brothels: Soho Blues (R,S). Police officersin London’s West End raid a suspectedfraudster’s flat. 4.00 House Doctor (R,S).4.20 House Doctor (R,S). Kitchens anddining rooms. 4.45 HouseBusters (R,S).5.10 Wildlife SOS (R,S). 5.35 Wildlife SOS(R,S).

LIVE UEFA EUROPA LEAGUE FOOTBALL7.45pm, ITVTottenham Hotspur v Benfica (Kick-off8.05pm). Matt Smith presents coverage ofthe last-16 first-leg match at White HartLane, where Spurs face the current leaders ofthe Portuguese Primeira Liga. Benfica have arich tradition in European football havingreached nine finals throughout their history.

6.00 Emmerdale 6.25 CoronationStreet 6.55 You’ve Been Framed!7.45 The Jeremy Kyle Show USA8.30 Dinner Date 9.30 The RealHousewives of Atlanta 10.30 TheReal Housewives of New Jersey11.30 Millionaire Matchmaker12.30 Emmerdale 1.00 CoronationStreet 1.30 You’ve Been Framed!2.00 The Jeremy Kyle Show 4.10The Real Housewives of NewJersey 5.05 MillionaireMatchmaker

7.00 You’ve Been Framed!(R,S). Featuring comicaldance routines.

7.30 You’ve Been Framed!(R,S). Featuring a dogwith a lightsaber.

6.00 Dinner Date (R,S,HD).2/30. A man from theWest Midlands takespart in the dating show.

8.00 Two and a Half Men(R,S,HD). 7/19. Alanmoves in with hismother.

8.30 Two and a Half Men(R,S,HD). 8/19. Charliewrites a successfulchildren’s song.

10.00 Celebrity Juice (S,HD).1/10. See Choices Above.

10.50 Dads (S,HD). 6/19. Davidand Crawford competefor a woman’saffections.

11.15Mom (R,S,HD). 10/22.Baxter sets up camp onthe driveway.

11.40Mom (R,S,HD). 11/22.Bonnie starts datingchef Rudy.

12.10 Two and a Half Men(R,S,HD). 12.40 Two and a HalfMen (R,S,HD). 1.10 The Only WayIs Essex (R,S,HD). Realityprogramme following a group ofpeople in Essex. 1.55 You’ve BeenFramed! (R,S). 2.20Teleshopping. Home shopping.5.50 ITV2 Nightscreen (HD).

9.00 The Big Reunion 2014(S,HD). 6/8. Kavana isunimpressed with girlgroup Eternal’s attitudeand all the acts meet forthe first time.Meanwhile, Damagereunite – with explosiveresults.



6.00 Switched 6.25 90210 7.10Ugly Betty 8.00 Charmed 9.00Glee 10.00 New Girl 10.30 TheMindy Project 11.00 Charmed12.00 Rules of Engagement12.30 Hollyoaks 1.00 How I MetYour Mother 2.00 The Big BangTheory 3.00 New Girl 3.30 TheMindy Project 4.00 Rules ofEngagement 5.00 How I MetYour Mother

7.00 Hollyoaks (S,HD).7.30 How I Met Your

Mother (R,S,HD). 3/22.Robin discovers Ted’sparents are hiding asecret from him.

8.00 The Big Bang Theory(R,S,HD). 7/24. Sheldonis hurt when ProfessorProton contactsLeonard.

8.30 How I Met YourMother (S,HD). 6/24.

10.00 Fresh Meat (R,S,HD).2/8. Kingsley dates bothHeather and Josie.

10.50 Troy (R,S). 5/6. Themagician continues tobaffle and amazeunsuspecting membersof the public.

1.00 2 Broke Girls (R,S,HD). 1.30Revenge (R,S,HD). The day of thewedding finally arrives. 2.20 MyMad Fat Diary (R,S,HD). 3.10Fresh Meat (R,S,HD). 3.50 Bob’sBurgers (R,S,HD). 4.10 Glee(R,S,HD). 4.55 Ugly Betty (R,S,HD).The hapless Betty uses poisonedperfume.

9.00 Brooklyn Nine-Nine(S,HD). 9/22. Jake’sfavourite pizzeria burnsdown.

9.30 The Inbetweeners(R,S). 2/6. Simon tries toimpress a girl.

6.00Modern Family (R,S).2/24.

6.30 The Simpsons (R,S,HD).6/22.

6.00 UK Border Force (R,S,HD).7.00 Airline USA (R,S). 8.00Modern Family (R,S,HD). 9.00Futurama (R,S). 10.00 HawaiiFive-0 (R,S,HD). 12.00 NCIS: LosAngeles (R,S,HD). 2.00 Harrow: AVery British School (R,S,HD). 3.00Greggs: More Than Meats thePie (R,S,HD). 4.00 Futurama (R,S).5.00 The Simpsons (R,S). 5.30Modern Family (R,S).

7.00 The Simpsons (R,S).6/22. Lisa goes on arampage throughschool.


8.00 Arrow (S,HD). 13/23.Nyssa – the daughter ofRa’s al Ghul – arrives inStarling City to bringSara back to the League.

10.00 Revolution (R,S,HD).11/20. Monroe’s reunionwith Connor proves tobe anything but sweet ashis estranged son handshim over to the localcartel boss, while Gracedrops anotherbombshell on Aaron.

12.00 NCIS: Los Angeles (R,S,HD).Sam investigates a terrorist group.1.00 Hawaii Five-0 (R,S,HD). 2.00Hawaii Five-0 (R,S,HD). 3.00 RoadWars (R,S,HD). 4.00 Harrow: AVery British School (R,S,HD). 5.00Greggs: More Than Meats thePie (R,S,HD).

11.00 NCIS: Los Angeles(R,S,HD). 13/24. Theteam tries to prevent aleak of top-secretinformation.

9.00 The Smoke (S,HD). 4/8.A morbidly obese,bedbound womanreveals a secret thatZiggy has fought to hidefrom her colleagues,while Mal attempts tomake peace with Kev.

6.15 Last of the SummerWine (S). 9/11. Norareveals a long-standingfeud.

6.55 Only Fools and Horses(S). 1/6. Del-Boybecomes a yuppie.

6.10Waiting for God6.40 EverDecreasing Circles 7.15 Steptoe andSon 7.55 ’Allo ’Allo! 9.05 As TimeGoes By 9.45 GoodnightSweetheart. 10.25 One Foot in theGrave 11.05Waiting for God 11.45Last of the SummerWine 1.05 EverDecreasing Circles 1.45 Steptoe andSon 2.25 ’Allo ’Allo! 3.35 As TimeGoes By 4.15 GoodnightSweetheart. 4.55 One Foot in theGrave 5.35 Last of the SummerWine

8.00 You, Me & Them (S).1/6. First episode of thesitcom, starring AnthonyHead and Eve Myles.

8.40 Outnumbered (S). 4/6.Ben takes his talent forlying to a new level.

10.00 Only Fools and Horses(S). 2/6. Del gets hishands on a consignmentof self-inflating rubberdolls, which turn out tobe filled with explosivegas. David Jason andNicholas Lyndhurst star.

11.10Men Behaving Badly(S). 4/7. Gary’s fathervisits.

11.50 Early Doors (S). 4/6. Thefootball card winner isannounced.

12.30 You, Me & Them (S). Firstepisode of the sitcom, starringAnthony Head and Eve Myles. 1.10Outnumbered (S). Ben takes histalent for lying to a new level. 1.40Men Behaving Badly (S). Gary’sfather visits. 2.10 Early Doors (S).The football card winner isannounced. 3.00 Close

9.20 Gavin & Stacey (S). 5/6.The gang descends onthe beach.

6.00 Ringside (HD). Boxingmagazine.

6.00 Good Morning Sports Fans9.00 UEFA Champions LeagueHighlights 10.00 What’s theStory? 11.00 UEFA ChampionsLeague Highlights (HD). 12.00What’s the Story? (HD). 1.00UEFA Champions LeagueHighlights (HD). 2.00 What’s theStory? (HD). 3.00 Masters Tennis(HD). 4.00 What’s the Story? (HD).5.00 FL72 Preview.

7.00 Live Premier LeagueDarts (HD). Coverage ofround six from theCapital FM Arena inNottingham, wherematches include PhilTaylor v Dave Chisnall.

11.30 The Rugby Club (HD).Rugby union magazine.

12.30 Darts Gold (S,HD). PhilTaylor v Wayne Mardle. 12.45 DartsGold (S,HD). Phil Taylor v AdrianLewis. 1.00 Premier League Darts(HD). Round six from the Capital FMArena in Nottingham. 4.30 DartsGold (S,HD). 4.45 Darts Gold (HD).5.00 Ringside (HD). Boxingmagazine.

10.30 Ringside (HD). Boxingmagazine, includinghighlights of recentbouts and interviewswith the stars.

Celebrity Juice, 10pm The Inbetweeners, 9.30pm The Smoke, 9pm Outnumbered, 8.40pm Live Darts, 7pm

IT TAKES A THIEF TOCATCH A THIEF8pm, Channel 5Richard Taylor and WillDavies help a designerclothing chain that hasrepeatedly been targeted bythieves, and visit a Derbystore owner plagued by shoplifting youngsters.

CELEBRITY JUICE10pm, ITV2The comedy quiz hosted by Keith Lemonreturns for a brand new series, with singerPixie Lott and I’m a Celebrity Get Me Out ofHere! winner Kian Egan joining teamcaptains Holly Willoughby and Fearne Cottonto answer questions on showbiz news andgossip.

11.55 Rude Tube: ExtremeRides (R,S,HD). 8/8.Modes of transport.

7.00 Don’t Tell theBride (R,S).Groom-to-be JPKelly takes solecharge oforganising hiswedding.

8.00 Hair (R,S,HD). Thechallengers createa 12cm-highbeehive.

9.00 JuniorParamedics (S).The studentsreach the halfwaypoint of theirplacements.

10.00 Bluestone 42(S,HD). TheLieutenantColonel and Nickend up in a battleof wills.


11.00 Family Guy (R,S).Brian beginsdating an olderwoman.

11.25 Family Guy (R,S).11.45 American Dad!

(R,S).12.30 Bluestone 42(R,S,HD). 1.00 JuniorParamedics (R,S). 2.00Hair (R,S,HD). 3.00 JuniorParamedics (R,S).


7.30 The Sky at Night(R,HD). Howsound can revealsecrets about theuniverse.

8.00 Ever DecreasingCircles (R).Martin enters thepub snookertournament.

8.30 Brushing Up On– BritishBeaches.

9.00 HiddenHistories:WW1’sForgottenPhotographs(HD).

10.00 The Walshes10.30What Do Artists

Do All Day?11.00 Helmut by June11.55 Southern Rock

at the BBC (R).12.55 Sounds of the 70s 2Soul – Keep On KeepingOn (R). 1.25 The Sky atNight (R,HD). 1.55 EverDecreasing Circles (R).2.25 The Walshes (R,HD).2.55 Hidden Histories:WW1’s ForgottenPhotographs (R).

MY WEEK WITH MARILYN9pm, BBC2Premiere. A film student gets a job as a production assistant on theset of movie The Prince and the Showgirl. He bears witness to theclash of conflicting personalities between leads Marilyn Monroe andLaurence Olivier, and becomes a confidant of the troubled, lonelyHollywood actress. Fact-based drama, starring Michelle Williams,Eddie Redmayne, Kenneth Branagh, Judi Dench, Emma Watson, JuliaOrmond, Pip Torrens and Geraldine Somerville.


FILM

PICK

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THURSDAYMarch

13

78

BBC1

89

10

6.00 Breakfast 9.15 Heir Hunters 10.00Homes Under the Hammer 11.00Countryside 999 (S,HD). 11.45 WatchdogTest House (S,HD). 12.15 Bargain Hunt(S,HD). 1.00 BBC News; Weather (S,HD).1.30 Regional News (S); Weather. 1.45Doctors (S,HD). 2.15 Perfection (S,HD).3.00 Escape to the Country (S,HD). 3.45James Martin’s Food Map of Britain(R,S,HD). 4.15 Flog It! Trade Secrets(S,HD). 5.15 Pointless (S,HD).

7.00 The One Show (S,HD). Hostedby Chris Evans and Alex Jones.

7.30 A Question of Sport (R,S).Light-hearted quiz, hosted bySue Barker. Followed by BBCNews; Regional News.


8.00 EastEnders (S,HD). Carol’ssuspicions are aroused whenMo lets slip about Stacey.

8.30 Room 101 (S,HD). 8/8. SuePerkins, Bruno Tonioli andSteve Jones discuss their pethates. Last in the series.

9.00 Jonathan Creek (S,HD). 3/3.See Choices Above.


by National Lottery Update.10.35 New Tricks (R,S). 2/10. The

investigators reopen the15-year-old case of a vagrantwho was strangled on a train,when DNA tests on a suspectedrobber reveal the man to be thevictim’s son.

11.35Would I Lie to You? (R,S,HD).2/9. With Charles Dance,Stephen Mangan, Isy Suttie andGokWan.

12.05 EastEnders (S,HD). Omnibus. 2.00Weatherview (S). 2.05 BBC News (S,HD).

11

12

6.00 Daybreak (S,HD). 8.30 Lorraine (S).9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show (R,S). 10.30This Morning (S). 12.30 Loose Women(S,HD). Topical debate from a femaleperspective. 1.30 ITV News and Weather(S). 1.55 ITV News West Country (S). 2.00Dickinson’s Real Deal (S,HD). 3.00 TheAlan Titchmarsh Show (S,HD). 3.59Regional Programme (S). 4.00 TippingPoint (S,HD). 5.00 The Chase (S,HD). Quizshow, hosted by Bradley Walsh.

6.10 Will & Grace (R,S,HD). 7.00Everybody Loves Raymond (R,S). 8.00The Morning Line (S,HD). 9.00 Frasier(R,S). 10.30 Undercover Boss Canada(R,S). 11.30 Live Paralympic WinterGames (S). Coverage of the seventh day ofevents in Russia. 12.30 Channel 4 NewsSummary (S). 12.35 CheltenhamFestival: Channel 4 Racing (S,HD). 4.30Four in a Bed (S). 5.00 Come Dine withMe (R,S,HD).

6.00 Milkshake!. 9.15 The Wright Stuff(HD). 11.10 Police Interceptors (R,S,HD).12.10 5 News Lunchtime (S,HD). 12.15Dangerous Drivers’ School (R,S,HD).Motorists re-learn the skills required to drivesafely. 1.15 Home and Away (S,HD). 1.45Neighbours (S,HD). 2.15 DiagnosisMurder (R,S). 3.15 Film: DesperateEscape (S) (2009). Mystery thriller, starringElisabeth Rohm.●●● 5.00 5 News at 5(S,HD). 5.30 Neighbours (R,S,HD).

7.00 Emmerdale (S,HD). Chas triesto persuade Belle not to confessto the police.

7.30 Coronation Street (S,HD).Carla nervously awaits theresults of her pregnancy test.


6.00 The Simpsons (R,S). 19/22.Apu’s wife kicks him out.

6.30 Hollyoaks (S,HD). Freddie andSinead prepare to escape toIreland with baby Katy.

6.00 Home and Away (R,S,HD).Casey blames Andy when thegym is vandalised.



Weather.10.35 The Americans (R,S,HD).

12/13. The Jennings plot theirnext move carefully when theymeet an American asset whoplans to give them highlyclassified information.

12.25 Jackpot247. Interactive gaming.3.00 The Jeremy Kyle Show USA (R,S).The host takes his successful talk showstateside. 3.45 ITV Nightscreen (HD). Text-based information service.


Highlights (S). Action from theseventh day of events in Sochiand Krasnaya Polyana, Russia.

8.00Marvel’s Agents of SHIELD(S,HD). 11/22. See ChoicesAbove.

9.00 Gogglebox (S). 2/12. Some ofBritain’s most opinionated andavid viewers share theirthoughts on the ParalympicWinter Games, Call theMidwife, Secret Eaters, Dancingon Ice and The Taste.

10.00 The Last Leg (S,HD). 7/8. Acomic review of the past sevendays, with guest JenniferSaunders.

10.50 8 Out of 10 Cats (R,S). 4/9.With Mel Giedroyc, JohnnyVegas and Aisling Bea.

12.05 Random Acts (S). 12.10Cheltenham Festival Highlights (S,HD).12.55 Film: Drillbit Taylor (S,HD) (2008).See Choices Above.●●● 2.35 TheSimpsons (R,S). 3.00 Happy Endings(S,HD). 3.20 Franklin & Bash (S,HD). 4.05The Good Wife (R,S,HD). 4.50 Deal or NoDeal (R,S,HD). 5.45 Live ParalympicWinter Games

7.00 The Gadget Show (R,S,HD).The team goes in search of theultimate home cinema set-up,and Rachel and Jason createhi-tech fashion items. Followedby 5 News Update.

8.00 Ice Road Truckers (S,HD). SeeChoices Above. Followed by 5News at 9.

9.00 Booze, Bust-Ups & Brothels:Soho Blues (R,S). 3/6. Officersmanage to catch Britain’sbiggest shoplifting gang, rescuea man who has fallen twostoreys and dispense emergencytreatment to a diabetic.

11.00 CSI: NY (R,S,HD). 5/17. A coldcase involving a missing boy.

10.00 NCIS: Los Angeles (S,HD).3/24. The team investigateswhen someone hacks into thecontrol systems of a drone andfires one of its live missiles,striking and killing aserviceman.

12.00 SuperCasino. Live interactivegaming. 3.05 Can’t Pay? We’ll Take ItAway! (R,S,HD). Paul Bohill and StevePinner evict a couple who owe five months’rent. 4.00 House Doctor (R,S). 4.20 HouseDoctor (R,S). Compilation of tips onexteriors. 4.45 HouseBusters (R,S). 5.10Wildlife SOS (R,S). 5.35 Wildlife SOS(R,S).

6.05 Homes Under the Hammer7.05Countryside 9997.50Watchdog TestHouse8.20 Sign Zone:WantedDownUnder 9.05 Sign Zone: TheGreat InteriorDesign Challenge10.05 Sign Zone: PoundShopWars 10.35 The Travel Show11.00BBCNews11.30 BBCWorldNews12.00Daily Politics 1.00 TheA to Z of TV Cooking1.20WarWalks 1.50 British Isles: ANaturalHistory 2.40 Cagney& Lacey3.25 Bergerac4.15Are You Being Served?4.45 ’Allo’Allo! 5.15 VintageAntiques Roadshow

7.00 Antiques Road Trip (R,S,HD).23&24/30. David Harper andCatherine Southon go on abuying spree through centralWales on the third leg of theirantiques road trip.

6.00 Revenge of the Egghead(S,HD). 15/30.

6.30 Sport Relief’s Top Dog (S,HD).10/15. Teams captained by SallyGunnell and Peaches Geldofcompete.

8.00Mastermind (S,HD). 26/31. SeeChoices Above.

8.30 Gardeners’ World (S,HD).2/32. Monty Don tackles theproblem of box blight.

9.00 I Was There: The Great WarInterviews (S,HD). Archiverecordings from the early 1960sin which people talk abouttheir experiences of the FirstWorld War, with recollectionsabout both the battlefield andthe home front.

10.00 QI (R,S,HD). 4/18. With SuePerkins, Ross Noble and DavidMitchell.

10.30 Newsnight (S,HD).

11.00Weather (S).11.05 The Last Station (S,HD)

(2009). Period drama, starringJames McAvoy.●●●●

11.35 The Americans (R,S,HD).13/13. Philip and Elizabethbegin to suspect they are beingset up. Last in the series.

11.35 Brooklyn Nine-Nine (S,HD).9/22. Jake’s favourite pizzeriaburns down.

12.50 Sign Zone: Question Time (R,S).David Dimbleby is joined by DouglasAlexander and Nick Hewer in Nottingham.1.50 Sign Zone: Wild Brazil (R,S).Documentary following the lives of familiesof capuchin monkeys, giant otters andcoatis. 2.50 This Is BBC Two (S). Preview ofupcoming programmes. 5.55 This Is BBCTwo (S).

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8.00 Student Nurses: Bedpansand Bandages (S,HD). 5/8. Amental-health nurse faces aphobia.

8.30 Coronation Street (S,HD).Fiz’s suspicions are arousedwhen Todd makes digs atMarcus.

9.00 Edge of Heaven (S,HD). 4/6.See Choices Above.

The One Show, 7pm Gardeners’ World, 8.30pm The Americans, 10.35pm The Last Leg, 10pm Ice Road Truckers, 8pm

JONATHAN CREEK9pm, BBC1Polly is not happywhen a glamorousweather forecasterreveals that she sharesan intimate secret withJonathan, while he ispuzzled by an act of teleportation.

MASTERMIND8pm, BBC2John Humphrys welcomes five more contendersto the famous black chair for the second semi-final. Their specialist subjects are Dutch artistVincent van Gogh, the Black Death, themusketeer novels of Alexandre Dumas, Britishmilitary commander Field Marshal William Slimand the Eurovision Song Contest.

EDGE OF HEAVEN9pm, ITVStruggling with his feelingsfor Michelle and Carly, Alfiegoes to his father – whohas just turned up out ofthe blue – for some much-needed relationship advice.Comedy drama, starring Blake Harrison.

ICE ROAD TRUCKERS8pm, Channel 5Rick Yemm calls in specialists to clean out histruck and they discover an infestation of deermice. Terminal manager Lane Keator leaveshis desk in Fairbanks, Alaska, to get behindthe wheel again, while Alex Debogorskitakes a huge excavator to Aklavik in theNorthwest Territories.

6.00 Emmerdale 7.00 You’veBeen Framed! 7.45 The JeremyKyle Show USA 8.30 Dinner Date9.30 The Real Housewives ofAtlanta 10.30 The RealHousewives of New Jersey 11.30Millionaire Matchmaker 12.30Emmerdale 1.30 You’ve BeenFramed! 2.00 The Jeremy KyleShow 4.10 The Real Housewivesof New Jersey 5.05 MillionaireMatchmaker

12.35 Two and a Half Men(R,S,HD). 1.00 Two and a HalfMen (R,S,HD). Alan finds outCharlie stole his girlfriend. 1.30Mom (R,S,HD). 1.55 Mom(R,S,HD). 2.15 Teleshopping.Home shopping. 5.45 ITV2Nightscreen (HD). 5.50 ITV2Nightscreen (HD).

MARVEL’S AGENTS OFSHIELD8pm, Channel 4As the agents organise a full-scale hunt for their missingleader, Coulson uncovers vitalinformation about themystery of his death – butCentipede is out for blood.


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11.20 Take Me Out (R,S,HD).5/10. A dancer, adebonair Londoner, abusinessman and astudent take part.

The biggest and bestshopping destination inthe South West is righton your doorstep.

www.bristolshoppingquarter.co.uk bristolshopping bristolshopping

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6.00 Milkshake!. 9.15 The Wright Stuff(HD). 11.10 Police Interceptors (R,S,HD).12.10 5 News Lunchtime (S,HD). 12.15Dangerous Drivers’ School (R,S,HD).Motorists re-learn the skills required to drivesafely. 1.15 Home and Away (S,HD). 1.45Neighbours (S,HD). 2.15 DiagnosisMurder (R,S). 3.15 Film: DesperateEscape (S) (2009). Mystery thriller, starringElisabeth Rohm.●●● 5.00 5 News at 5(S,HD). 5.30 Neighbours (R,S,HD).

7.00 The Gadget Show (R,S,HD).The team goes in search of theultimate home cinema set-up,and Rachel and Jason createhi-tech fashion items. Followedby 5 News Update.

8.00 Ice Road Truckers (S,HD). SeeChoices Above. Followed by 5News at 9.

9.00 Booze, Bust-Ups & Brothels:Soho Blues (R,S). 3/6. Officersmanage to catch Britain’sbiggest shoplifting gang, rescuea man who has fallen twostoreys and dispense emergencytreatment to a diabetic.

12.00 SuperCasino. Live interactivegaming. 3.05 Can’t Pay? We’ll Take ItAway! (R,S,HD). Paul Bohill and StevePinner evict a couple who owe five months’rent. 4.00 House Doctor (R,S). 4.20 HouseDoctor (R,S). Compilation of tips onexteriors. 4.45 HouseBusters (R,S). 5.10Wildlife SOS (R,S). 5.35 Wildlife SOS(R,S).

ICE ROAD TRUCKERS8pm, Channel 5Rick Yemm calls in specialists to clean out histruck and they discover an infestation of deermice. Terminal manager Lane Keator leaveshis desk in Fairbanks, Alaska, to get behindthe wheel again, while Alex Debogorskitakes a huge excavator to Aklavik in theNorthwest Territories.

6.00 Emmerdale 7.00 You’veBeen Framed! 7.45 The JeremyKyle Show USA 8.30 Dinner Date9.30 The Real Housewives ofAtlanta 10.30 The RealHousewives of New Jersey 11.30Millionaire Matchmaker 12.30Emmerdale 1.30 You’ve BeenFramed! 2.00 The Jeremy KyleShow 4.10 The Real Housewivesof New Jersey 5.05 MillionaireMatchmaker

7.00 You’ve Been Framed!(R,S). Harry Hill narratescamcorder calamities.

7.30 You’ve Been Framed!(R,S). Comical clips,narrated by Harry Hill.

6.00 Dinner Date (R,S,HD).8/30. Renny from Bristolchooses three blinddates.

8.00 Two and a Half Men(R,S,HD). 9/19. Charliestruggles with hisattraction to his soon-to-be stepsister.

8.30 Two and a Half Men(R,S,HD). 10/19.

12.35 Two and a Half Men(R,S,HD). 1.00 Two and a HalfMen (R,S,HD). Alan finds outCharlie stole his girlfriend. 1.30Mom (R,S,HD). 1.55 Mom(R,S,HD). 2.15 Teleshopping.Home shopping. 5.45 ITV2Nightscreen (HD). 5.50 ITV2Nightscreen (HD).

9.00White Chicks (S) (2004).Two black male FBIagents are forced topose as white femaledebutantes to protect acouple of heiresses froma kidnapping plot.Comedy, starringbrothers Shawn andMarlon Wayans.Including FYI Daily.●



6.00 Switched 6.25 90210 7.10Ugly Betty 8.00 Charmed 9.00Glee 10.00 New Girl 10.30 TheMindy Project 11.00 Charmed12.00 Rules of Engagement12.30 Hollyoaks 1.00 How I MetYour Mother 2.00 The Big BangTheory 3.00 New Girl 3.30 TheMindy Project 4.00 Rules ofEngagement 5.00 How I MetYour Mother

7.00 Hollyoaks (S,HD).Maxine is unnerved bySienna’s obsessivemission.


8.00 Troy (R,S,HD). 5/6. Themagician continues tobaffle and amazeunsuspecting membersof the public, going onan unusual shoppingspree before causingconfusion at a funfair.

12.00 Rude Tube: Total Stunts(R,S). 1.05 The Midnight Beast(R,S,HD). 1.40 Celebrity Bedlam(R,S,HD). 2.10 Balls of SteelAustralia (R,S). 2.35 TheCleveland Show (R,S,HD). 3.00Bob’s Burgers (R,S,HD). 3.20Bob’s Burgers (R,S,HD). 3.45 Glee(R,S,HD). 4.30 Ugly Betty (R,S,HD).

6.00Modern Family (R,S).4/24.

6.30 The Simpsons (R,S).7/22. Apu’s wife hasoctuplets.

6.00 UK Border Force (R,S). 7.00Airline USA (R,S). 8.00 ModernFamily (R,S). 9.00 Futurama (R,S).10.00 Hawaii Five-0 (R,S,HD).12.00 NCIS: Los Angeles (R,S,HD).2.00 Harrow: A Very BritishSchool (R,S,HD). 3.00 Greggs:More Than Meats the Pie(R,S,HD). 4.00 Futurama (R,S). 5.00The Simpsons (R,S,HD). 5.30Modern Family (R,S).

7.00 The Simpsons (R,S,HD).12/22. Moe’s bar towelturns out to have a lifeof its own.


8.00 The Simpsons (R,S).13/24. Featuring thevoice of Sting.

8.30Modern Family(R,S,HD). 5/24. Each ofthe clans run late for adinner reservation.

10.00 Duck Quacks Don’tEcho (HD). 6/8. Lee Mackhosts the comedy panelgame, with actor RickyTomlinson, comedianJon Richardson andradio DJ Sara Cox talkingabout amazing facts andrandom trivia.

12.30 NCIS: Los Angeles (R,S,HD).1.30 Hawaii Five-0 (R,S,HD). 2.20Hawaii Five-0 (R,S,HD). 3.10Harrow: A Very British School(R,S,HD). 4.00 Greggs: More ThanMeats the Pie (R,S,HD). 5.00 LiveFormula One (S,HD). TheAustralian Grand Prix qualifyingsession (Start-time 6.00am).

11.00Moone Boy (R,S,HD).4/6. Martin gets a job atthe golf club.

11.30 NCIS: Los Angeles(R,S,HD). 15/24. Callenencounters a formerKGB operative.

9.00 Stella (S,HD). 8/10. SeeChoices Above.

6.15 Last of the SummerWine (S). 1/11. Clegghelps a man realise hisdream.

6.55 Only Fools and Horses(S). 2/6. Del faces anexplosive situation.

6.10Waiting for God6.40 EverDecreasing Circles 7.10 Steptoe andSon7.55 ’Allo ’Allo! 9.05As TimeGoes By9.45GoodnightSweetheart.10.25One Foot in theGrave11.05Waiting for God11.45Last of the SummerWine1.05 EverDecreasing Circles 1.50 Steptoe andSon2.25 ’Allo ’Allo! 3.35As TimeGoes By4.15GoodnightSweetheart.4.55One Foot in theGrave5.35 Last of the SummerWine

8.00 Bring Me Morecambe& Wise (S). 1/5. Tributeto the comedy doubleact, featuring clips fromsome of their earliest TVperformances. Narratedby Victoria Wood.

11.30Men Behaving Badly(S). 5/7. Gary celebrateshis reunion withDorothy.

12.10 Film: Pretty Woman (1990).Romantic comedy, starring JuliaRoberts and Richard Gere.●●●●2.30 Men Behaving Badly (S).Gary celebrates his reunion withDorothy. 3.00 Close

9.00 Pretty Woman (1990).A millionairebusinessman hires aprostitute for a week,and falls in love with herdespite their manydifferences. Romanticcomedy, starring JuliaRoberts and RichardGere.●●●●

7.00 Great MovieMistakes IV:May the FourthBe with You(R,S).

7.30 Doctor Who(R,S,HD). Fiveyears in thefuture, Amy facesa heart-breakingchoice.

8.15 Doctor Who(R,S,HD). Part oneof two. A teamdrilling deep intothe Earth wakensan ancient enemy.

9.00 Blades of Glory(S,HD) (2007). Ice-skating comedy,starring WillFerrell.●●●


11.00 Family Guy(R,S,HD).

11.45 American Dad!(R,S).

12.10 American Dad!(R,S). 12.30 Pramface(R,S,HD). 1.00 Ja’mie:Private School Girl(R,S,HD). 1.30 ImpracticalJokers (R,S,HD). 2.00 WhoNeeds Ibiza? The GreatBritish Holiday (R,S,HD).3.00 Pramface (R,S,HD).3.30 Bluestone 42 (R,S).


7.30 TransatlanticSessions (R,HD).

8.00 In Their OwnWords: 20thCenturyComposers.Classical musicfrom the BBCarchives.

9.00 The Byrd WhoFlew Alone. Adocumentary onsongwriter GeneClark.

10.30 CaliforniaComes to theWhistle Test (R).Artists who livedin the US state inthe 1970s.

11.30 The Beatles’Please PleaseMe – Remakinga Classic (R,HD).Artists recreatethe recordingsession for theband’s first LP.

12.30 The Byrd Who FlewAlone (R). 2.00 CaliforniaComes to the WhistleTest (R). 3.00 The Beatles’Please Please Me –Remaking a Classic(R,HD).

6.00 Champions LeagueWeekly (HD). A lookahead to the last 16.

6.30 The Fantasy FootballClub (HD).

6.00 Good Morning Sports Fans9.00 FL72 Preview. 10.00 ATPTour Uncovered 10.30 MastersTennis 11.30 Premier LeagueWorld (HD). 12.00 Ringside (HD).1.00 FL72 Preview. 2.00 PremierLeague World (HD). 2.30 Ringside(HD). 3.30 The Rugby Club (HD).4.30 Super League Superstars(HD). 5.00 Snow Unleashed (HD).5.30 Spanish Football Gold (HD).

7.30 Live Super League(HD). WiganWarriors vHull Kingston Rovers(Kick-off 8.00pm). EddieHemmings and MikeStephenson presentcoverage of the match atthe DW Stadium.

11.15 Premier LeaguePreview (HD). A lookahead to the weekend’sfixtures.

11.45 Super League Gold(HD). The 2002 GrandFinal.

12.00 Super League (HD). WiganWarriors v Hull Kingston Rovers.1.00 The Fantasy Football Club(HD). A discussion on key fantasyfootball issues. 2.00 InternationalTwenty20 Cricket (HD). 3.00Super League (HD). 3.55Superleague Netball (HD). CelticDragons v Hertfordshire Mavericks.

10.15 The Fantasy FootballClub (HD). John Fendleyand Paul Merson presenta discussion on keyfantasy football issues, aswell as the weekend’sPremier League matches.

You’ve Been Framed!, 7pm The Big Bang Theory, 6pm Duck Quacks Don’t … 10pm Pretty Woman, 9pm Live Super League, 7.30pm

DRILLBIT TAYLOR12.55am, Channel 4Three kids hire abodyguard to get themthrough high school inone piece. Comedy,starring Owen Wilson,Leslie Mann and NateHartley.

THE LAST STATION11.05pm, BBC2The private secretary tothe ageing Tolstoy iscaught up in the conflictover who owns thewriter’s legacy. Perioddrama, starring JamesMcAvoy.

MARVEL’S AGENTS OFSHIELD8pm, Channel 4As the agents organise a full-scale hunt for their missingleader, Coulson uncovers vitalinformation about themystery of his death – butCentipede is out for blood.

STELLA9pm, Sky1Emma falls even harder for Marcus, Ben issuspended from school, and the police letLuke go – but he can’t escape the suspicionsof those around him. Meanwhile, Alan’sbrother visits to tell him that their mum hasdied, and Bobby and Daddy do their best tokeep the peace. Starring Ruth Jones.

11.05 How I Met YourMother (R,S,HD). 4/22.Ted and Robin have anargument.



FILM

PICK

S

11.20 Take Me Out (R,S,HD).5/10. A dancer, adebonair Londoner, abusinessman and astudent take part.

9.00 Beverly Hills Cop II(S,HD) (1987).Wisecracking Detroitdetective Axel Foleyreturns to Los Angeles toinvestigate the shootingof an old friend. Comedythriller sequel, starringEddie Murphy.●●

FRIDAY

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14March

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the weekend 07 march 2014

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