7/31/2019 DarrahGOPLetter

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CAPT Joan E. Darrah, USN (Ret)

The Honorable Bob McDonnellGovernorCommonwealth of Virginia1111 East Broad StreetRichmond, VA 23219

Dear Governor McDonnell:

My wife, Lynne, and I live in Alexandria. We write to you today not just as constituents of the greatCommonwealth of Virginia, but as a military veteran family concerned for the welfare of other military andveteran families.

We request an opportunity to address the Republican National Convention Committee on Resolutions,scheduled to take place August 19-21 in Tampa, Florida. We would testify in support of the inclusion in theRepublican platform of both the repeal of the Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA) and for the right of same-gender couples to marry. Quite simply, these objectives correspond with the ideals of the Republican Party:opposition to government intrusion in peoples lives, and a modern military that supports all our servicemembers and their families.

For almost two decades, over the course of my Navy career, I served under Dont Ask, Dont Tell (DADT)and learned to live two different lives one in the closet at work and one out of the closet after hours. While itwas very difficult to live in this way, Lynne and I sacrificed so that I could continue to serve our country.

The events of September 11, 2001, caused us to appreciate more fully the true impact of DADT on our livesand the reality of our mutual sacrifices. At 8:30 a.m. that morning, I went to a meeting in the Pentagon. At9:30 a.m., I left that meeting. At 9:37 a.m., American Airlines Flight 77 slammed into the Pentagon anddestroyed the exact space I had been less than eight minutes earlier, killing seven of my colleagues.

In the days and weeks that followed, I went to several funerals and memorial services for co-workers who hadbeen killed. Most people attended these services with their spouses whose support was critical at such adifficult time. The military is known for how it pulls together and helps people; we talk of the "military family,"

which is a way of saying we always look after each other, especially in times of need.

Whenever I recount the events of that day, I think of my wife and how she would have been one of the lastpeople to know that I had been killed, because nowhere in my paperwork or emergency contact informationhad I dared to list her name. Fortunately, because DADT has been repealed, gay and lesbian servicemembers can now serve openly without the fear of discharge.

However, because of DOMA, these service members, veterans, and their families are not entitled to at least93 of the benefits afforded their straight colleagues such as health care, death benefits, or burial at nationalcemeteries.

Gay and lesbian service members and their families are making the same sacrifices daily as theirheterosexual counterparts. Should they not be afforded the same recognition, benefits, and support services

from the country they serve? Should they not receive the same suppo rt from their military family?

Please allow us the opportunity to make this case before your Committee. I look forward to your response.

Sincerely,

CAPT Joan E. Darrah, USN (Ret)