Welcome!

江苏省上冈高级中学 韩书珍

2014 届高三英语书面表达专题复习

Sample 3: 阅读下面短文，然后按照要求写一篇 150 词左右的英语短文 To many people even the word “work” sounds unpleasant, not necessarily because they are lazy. The same man, who dislikes his job in the factory or even in the office, may work hard at the weekend, painting the house or digging the garden. What is the reason ,then？ In most cases, it is because these people simply do not enjoy thejob they are doing .It does not give them any real satisfaction. It may be quite easy, like making up wooden boxes, but it is very boring. Very often they are doing a job which is just a small part of a much larger one, such as attaching a door handle to a car. But the part they play in actually making the car is so small that they can never say: I have made something ! Yet in modern society somebody has to do ordinary jobs such as cleaning streets because this Is the way society is organized. No matter how ordinary a job is, it plays a part in society and therefore deserves our due respect. Society cannot function a single day without the “dull and boring” jobs.

[ 写作内容 ]1. 以约 30 个词概括上文的主要内容。2. 以约 120 个词谈谈你对平凡工作的想法，内容包括：⑴ 描述清洁工工作的艰辛； ⑵ 假如没有清洁工，环境会变得如何？⑶ 你对平凡工作者的看法。

[ 写作要求 ]1. 作文中可以使用亲身经历或虚构的故事，也可以参照阅读

材料的内容，但不得直接引用原文中的句子。2. 作文中不能出现真实姓名和学校名称。

[ 评分标准 ] 概括准确，语言规范，内容合适，语篇连贯。

2014 年江苏省高考说明 :

Part One Writing Steps

读写任务型写作模板

第一段 :

第二段 :

第三段 :

概括所给短文内容要点

过渡词引出主题句 --- 阐述理由

个人观点

How to summarize

a passage? (Step One )

1. Focus on main ideas and omit( 省去 ) examples, details. ( 注重大意，省去详细的例子、细节 ) 2. when using the words and phrases in the

　　　 original passage, do not include your own opinion, but be sure to use your own words. . ( 引用原文的词句 , 不能添加自己的见解，但是要 用自己的语言概括） 3. Write it in the third person . （第三人称） 4.Control the number of words about 30.

Attention:

Styles of the given passage

argumentation 3

narration1

exposition2

How to summarize a narrationSkill: 要素串联法要素串联法 the six elements

who

when

where

What (event)

How (process)

why

什么人在什么时候什么地方发生了什么事情，结果如何。

读写任务 (共 1小题，满分 25分 ) 阅读下面的短文，然后按照要求写一篇 150 词左右的英语短文。

The Best Gift Della and Jim broke away from their families to get married. Now they lived in a small attic of a cold and old building. They were now digesting the hardship of life. The only joy was their sweet love for each other. The handsome husband had to be burdened with a family though he was young. The beautiful wife took care of the shabby house with the few coins she saved. Christmas was coming. They were thinking of a good gift for each other. Della wore a waterfall of black hair, but her comb was broken. Jim had a gold watch with an old chain, which was passed from his old grandfather. The big day finally came. On arriving home, Jim was surprised to find Della's long hair cut short. But Della was also surprised to find Jim's gold watch gone. She had sold her hair to buy a gold watch chain for him! He had sold his gold watch to buy an expensive comb for her! The gifts were now useless. But in fact they got the best gifts.

I. Elements of the passage

Who

Where

When

What

How

Why

before Christmas

Della and Jim

buy gifts for each other

sell their precious things

love between them

a small attic

II. Identify the theme and the supporting points

Theme

Love

III. Paraphrase the key sentences and try to simplify them.

You may begin like this:The story/passage is about……The writer/author tells us about….The story mainly tells us that………….Tips:故事性阅读材料，应该用最简练的语言来说明故事讲述了什么，不能拖泥带水，而且最好讲述该故事给你的启示或其中的一个道理。

It’s your show time

One possible versionOne possible version

The passage is about the true love between a couple, Della and Jim. They both sacrificed their most valuable things to buy their partner a gift to fulfill their little dreams.

How to check the

summary

看要点／看人称／看时态／看语法／看结构

How to summarize an exposition

Welcome back to Modern Parenting. We’ve already talked about being open and honest with your kids, but there is one thing that all _____________, and it’s surprisingly simple: _______________. Studies show that children are ___________________ school and tend to get better grades later on if their parents ____________________to them from a young age. One study from Harvard University found that the number of books in the home was ______________________________________ in school, more than the education or income of the parents! Reading is fun, and it can be an important part of relaxing at bedtime. Best of all, it gives parents an ______________________________ their children and teach them about the world. It’s never too early to start reading to your children. Many parents buy books for their kids long before they can talk, and some even start reading to their children before they are born! Trips to the library or the bookstore can be ________________for young families to do together. So parents, if you are wondering what to do with your kids tonight, remember: _________________________! That’s all for Modern parenting. This is Lesley, on 105.7 FM, saying good night.

Skill: 中心词挖掘法中心词挖掘法good parents do

read to your kidsbetter prepared for

the single biggest factor related to success

opportunity to communicate with

fun activities

all you need is a good book

make a habit of reading

Key words:read to your kids; be better for ; a habit of reading; the biggest factor; success; opportunity; communicate with; activities根据以上关键词提示，请归纳：

1. The passage introduces... to us, especially its ... , from which we know ... .

2. The passage tells us ... , including...(方法 1), ...(方法 2)and...(方法 3).

3.The passage points out that…

Tips:说明性短文 , 用概括的文字介绍或说明某种事物的性质功用或社会现象。

The program introduces a simple way to parents:

read to their children as early as possible, which

is vital to children’s personal growth ,academic

achievements and communication with parents.

(29)

How to summarize an argumentation

Skill: 议论三步法议论三步法

论点—主题句论据— （事例）

结论

Scientists find that hard-working people live longer than average men and women. Career women are healthier than housewives. Evidence shows that the jobless are in poorer health than the job-holders. A study shows that whenever the employment rate increases by 1%, the death rate increase correspondingly by 2%. All this comes down to one point: work is helpful to health.

Why is work good for health? It is because work keeps people busy, away from loneliness. Researches show that people feel unhappy, worried and lonely when they have nothing to do. Instead, the happiest are those who are busy. Work serves as a bridge between man and reality. By work, people come into contact with each other. By collective activities, they find friendship and warmth. This is helpful to health. The loss of work means the loss of everything. It affects man spiritually and makes him likely to disease.

Besides, work gives one a sense of fulfillment and a sense of achievement. Work makes one feel his value and status in society. When a writer finishes his writing or teacher sees his students grow, they are happy beyond words.

Skill: 议论三步法议论三步法 // 段落合并法段落合并法

work is helpful to health

work keeps people busy, away from loneliness

work serves as a bridge between man and reality

work gives one a sense of fulfillment and a sense of achievement

You may begin like this:1.This article shows us the importance /necessity of …2. We can know from the passage …

Tips:如果是议论文的阅读短文 , 则要尽可能客观简要地转述阅读材料的观点。

The author highlights the effect of work on people’s health, because it can rid one of loneliness, connect one with the outer world, and make one feel fruitful, which contributes to a good body. (35)

One possible versionOne possible version

Step TwoSome transitional sentences

1. This story reminds me of another story that happened to…

2. This story reminds me of a similar experience of…

3. Take myself for example, I experienced such a thing that many

years ago, I …

4. What is conveyed in the passage is that …

5. There is no denying that …

6. As the old saying goes, … In a word, we should …

Step ThreePersonal opinions

• I think

• I firmly believe that …

• In my opinion,

• Personally speaking,…

• As far as I am concerned, …

• From my point of view, ….

• From where I stand, ….

• On my personal note, ….

Part Two Analysis

阅读下面的短文，然后按要求写一篇 150 字左右的英语短文。 Mayor Bloomberg has been the mayor of New York City for nearly nine years, but for ten years he has been wearing the same shoes. This is really rare to be seen on a billionaire. “The mayor owns two pairs of work shoes,” said the spokesman. “One day he’ll wear one, the next the other. When they got worn down, he has them repaired. He could buy any shoes he wanted, but he says since they are comfortable, and they work, there’s no need for a new pair.” According to the spokesman, the mayor saves in his footwear and he also keeps it up in his personal as well as governmental finance. “When he buys a cup of coffee, he chooses the smallest size. He buys only what he needs.” Such is the mayor of New York City, who cares little about his shoes, avoids wasting money and focuses his attention on his work and his people in the city. But what about our fellow students nowadays? Some wear super expensive clothes and shoes; besides, they buy as many as possible, far more than two pairs. They always want the latest, the newest and throw the old ones away though they haven’t worn them for many times.

习作讲评：

【写作内容】1. 以约 30 个词概括以上短文的内容。2. 以约 120 个词就“勤俭节约”这一主题发表你的感想和看法，内容包括：（ 1 ）给出你对这位市长的评价；（ 2 ）举一个你尊敬的人勤俭节约的例子，说明他对你的影响；（ 3 ）列举你生活中浪费的坏习惯并说说你勤俭节约的决心。【写作要求】1. 作文中可以使用亲身经历或虚构的故事，也可以参照阅读材料的内容，但不得直接引用原文中的句子；2. 作文中不能出现真实姓名和学校名称。【评分标准】概括准确，语言规范内容合适，语篇连贯。参考词汇：节俭的 provident / thrifty

一、习作中存在的共性问题：1. The mayor of New York City, Bloomberg, who cares little about his

personal life , devotes his life to his work and his people in the city.

2. He had been wearing the same shoes for ten years. He focused on his work.

3. The mayor of New York City, Bloomberg, who is provident in his life. Bloomberg, mayor of New York City, who is provident and avoids wasting

money.

错因：时态使用不当尚健在的人：现在时已故去的人：过去时

错因：概括部分把市长的“节俭”写成是次要的信息，未能抓住主题。

错因：句子结构不完整，重视了从句的使用但主句不完整。

4. Only we do the little things we can actually make a big difference.

5. My mother is also the one who has the idea of thrifty.

6. In my personal opinion, he is worth of studying for all of us.

can we

when

节俭的意识 / 精神

awareness / spiri

t of thrift thrifty adj.thrift n.

In my personal opinion, he is worth learning from by all of us.In my personal opinion, he is worthy of being learned from by all of us.In my personal opinion, he is worthy to be learned from by all of us.

错因：对特殊句式的掌握不准确。

错因：选词及词性用法不当。

learning from

错因：选词不当 ,短语使用不当。

二、佳句共欣赏：1.The article tells us the mayor of New York City , Bloomberg, is provident and has been wearing the same shoes for 10 years. However, somestudents waste much money on super expensive clothes and shoes.

( 马 叶 )2. The mayor of New York City, Bloomberg, wins respect from others for his thrift. Wealthy as he is, he cares little about his clothes and avoids wasting anything.

( 滕浩宇 )

3. From where I stand, the mayor is admirable. So provident is he that each

of us should learn from him. ( 李惠兰 )

4. On my personal note, I plan to appeal to the society to refind the traditional virtue, which is vital to our country’s healthy development.

( 李 凡 )

5. As the old proverb goes, action speaks louder than words. In a bid to be provident, I plan to only purchase what I really need in daily life.

( 张士成 )

亮点：准确，简洁！

亮点：短语、句式佳！

亮点：过渡词，从句使用贴切！

亮点：谚语、短语使用佳！

亮点：过渡词，句式使用贴切！

6. Only by doing these things can we create a stronger and more beautiful

China! ( 杨 朔 )7. His provident behaviours impress me greatly, which will make a

profound difference to me. ( 高 萍 )8. Not only does my grandmother avoid wasting anything, but also she always

persuades me to be thrifty, which influences me greatly and makes me more

provident. ( 魏明新 )9. Personally, it is time that we took action right now. To begin with , we may as

well study hard and try our best to make progress as much as possible.

( 陈尚凯 )

二、佳句共欣赏：

亮点：选词、过渡、句式佳！

Neat handwriting!

Fantastic structure!

三、卷面书写印象分

Beautiful handwriting!

Well-organized structure!

Poor handwriting!

The author introduces to us the mayor of New York City, a man who is rich but provident. The author also points out nowadays some students have the habit of wasting things. When reading the passage, I am deeply moved by the mayor. Wealthy as he is, he has the virtue of saving. He spends money only on what he needs and never wastes money on what is of no use. I think this is really admirable. The mayor reminds me of the great political leader of China, Chairman Mao. As the chairman of China, Mao led a very thrifty life. He used to wear old clothes at home. When his clothes were worn out, he would have them repaired and continued to wear them. He always told others that saving was a good virtue of Chinese people. Thinking about the two great leaders, I feel deeply ashamed. As a young student who still has to depend on my parents, I have been leading too comfortable a life. I buy whatever I like though I don’t really need them. Besides, I like new things; when things get “old”, I tend to begin to dislike them and stop using them. Now that I realize that this is wrong, I’m determined that I shall follow the examples of the two great leaders and start to get rid of the bad habits.

四、佳作欣赏

Summary

Comments & examples

Opinions & conclusion

Summary

Words &

phrases

Handwriting

Brief & exact

Varied

Proper

Organized &neat

Grammatical structures &

Conjunctions

Practice makes perfect!

Conclusion:Criteria for a good essay

1. Basic information about the writing of Sample 3

■ standards & requirements

■ grade evaluation

2. Writing steps

■ summary of a given material

■ using transitional sentences to go on with writing

■ personal opinions

3. Analysis ■ common mistakes ■ good sentences to appreciate ■ handwriting ■ articles to enjoy

Summary

Homework1. Revise the skills of the new type of writing.

2. Finish writing an article of Sample Three.

Thanks for your attending our class!