人到中年 : 心事誰人知MIDLIFE CHALLENGES

李楊馥璘諮商心理學博士Fu-Lin Y. Lee, Ph.D.

Licensed Clinical Psychologist

Fairfax, Virginia

703-847-0459

By Nancy Chodash , October 22, 2013

Common Physical Changes

Weight gain, wrinkles, sagging skins, hair loss, graying hair, hormone fluctuations, eye

sight changes, cognitive decline, change in sex drive, fatigue, menopause related

symptoms… increased health risks, such ashypertension, diabetes, thyroid, cancer, arthritis, lowered immunity...

Psychosocial and Spiritual Quest

Am I good enough?Am I worthwhile ?Do I belong?Do I get the appreciation or respect I deserve?What’s the meaning of life?Will it get better?

Warning Signs of a Midlife Crisiswww.drphil.com/articles/article/694

 

• A decrease in weight, a new obsession with exercise and physical appearance.• Unhappiness with life and lifestyle that previously made him or her happy.• Boredom with people and things that may have previously been of interest.• Feeling a need for adventure and change.• Questioning the choices and decisions he or she has made in life.• Confusion about who he or she is and where his or her life is headed.• Anger at his or her spouse and placing blame for feeling tied down.• Unable to make decisions about where he or she wants to go in life.• Doubt over ever loving his or her spouse and resentment over the marriage.• A desire for a new and passionate, intimate relationship.• A sense of remorse for goals not accomplished.• Frequent daydreaming or feelings of nostalgia.• Acting on compulsions with food, drugs or alcohol.• Greatly increased or decreased sexual desire.• Sexual affairs, especially with someone much younger.• A desire to achieve a feeling of youthfulness.• Greatly increased or decreased ambition. 

Define Midlife

Not a medical condition itself, most spoken of in popular culture since the 80’s

Nowadays, roughly age 40 to 60 A critical phase in human development A normal stage of life, a transition, a passage A period that varies vastly among individualsA time to reflect and re-assess

Psychosocial StagesErik Erikson’s (1959) theory of psychosocial stages

McLeod, S. A. (2013). Erik Erikson. Retrieved from www.simplypsychology.org/Erik-Erikson.html

Common StressorsMore likely to experience the deaths of love onesRole/Responsibility overload/Exhaustion Physical declines/changes and health concernsAwareness of mortality or “impending death”  Unrealized goalsLife dissatisfaction –career, finances, & relationships, etc.

Cultural pressure: anti-aging & eternal youth

Our Specific or Chronic StressorsFitting in and thriving as a minority group Family obligations and frequent travels if family

are not in the U.S.Generation gaps – “new and expanded” amid

diversity Limited resources and support “ 落葉歸根”

Clinical Concerns

• Depression• Anxiety • Anger, bitterness, aggression

• Sleep • Appetite• Cognitive decline• Health concerns • Marriage • Family relationships

• Losses and grief• Abuse or trauma• Exhaustion • Work-Life balance • Work-related issues • Addiction • Substance abuse• Early retirement • Etc.

When Midlife Crisis Turns into Depression --WebMD 2015

Change in eating habitsChange in sleeping habits, fatigueFeeling of pessimism or hopelessnessRestlessness, anxiety or irritability Feeling of guilt, helplessness or worthlessnessLoss of interest in activities once enjoyed, including sex

and hobbies.Thoughts of suicide or attempts at suicidePhysical aches or pains such as headaches or

gastrointestinal upset that don’t respond to treatment

Normal or Disordered?

Aspects to assess:External stressors/triggersSingle/cumulative experiences Medical/biological/genetic factorsEmotion, Cognition, and Behaviors Intensity, duration, and severityPersonality and ego strengthsImpairment in personal, interpersonal, home or work life

etc.

Treatment

Physical exams to rule out medically or substance induced conditions

Psychotherapy Individual, marital, family, group, etc.

Psychotropic medsAnti-anxiety, anti-depressant and anti- psychotic

Medical treatment Alternative meds & holistic approaches

Mindfulness, yoga, meditation, relaxation, etc.Self-help

Share Your Advice

Prevention Keep up with healthy habits Make desirable changes before or during midlife Nourish important relationships Maintain social support and involvement Open to accept changes as a normal part of life

and see them as challenges Positive attitude: likely a period of tremendous

growth, enlightening Resiliency Spiritual growth

My Country and My People, Epilogue

Lin YuTang, 1935I like spring, but it is too young. I like summer, but it too proud. So I like best of all autumn, because its leaves are a little yellow, its tone mellower, its colors richer, and it is tinged a little with sorrow and a premonition of death. Its golden richness speaks not of the innocence of spring, nor of the power of summer, but of the mellowness and kindly wisdom of approaching age. It knows the limitations of life and is content. From a knowledge of those limitations and its richness of experience emerges a symphony of colors, richer than all, its green speaking of life and strength, its orange speaking of golden content and its purple of resignation and death. And the moon shines over it, and its brow seems white with reflections, but when the setting sun touches it with an evening glow, it can still laugh cheerily. An early mountain breeze brushes by and sends its shivering leaves dancing gaily to the ground, and you do not know whether the song of the failing leaves is the song of laughter or of parting tears. For it is the Song of the Spirit of Early Autumn, the spirit of calm and wisdom and maturity, which smiles at sorrow itself and praises the exhilaration, keen, cool air…

林語堂《吾國與吾民 , 1935 》

(天涼好個秋)

我喜歡春天，但是它太年輕；我喜歡夏天，可是它太驕傲。所以我最喜歡的還是秋天，因為秋天樹葉剛呈嫩黃，色調比較柔和，色彩比較豐富，又染有一絲的憂愁和不祥之兆。它金黃的多彩所要說的不是春天的純真，也不是夏天的威猛，而是老成的持重和慈祥的智慧。它知道生命的有限所以知足，因它既知道生命的有限，又閱歷甚豐，從而繪成了無與倫比的繽紛：綠色象徵生命和力量，橙色象徵稱心的滿足，而紫色象徵順從和死亡。月亮照耀著它，反映著月光，樹梢顯得蒼白，然而當落日撫著它，餘輝照亮著樹梢，它仍然可以嫣然歡笑。清晨的山風吹過，瑟縮的葉子愉快地飛舞到地面。你不知道落葉的歌是歡笑的歌唱，還是訣別的哀吟。因為這就是初秋的精神，就是平靜﹑智慧與成熟的精神，能夠以微笑面對悲哀，能夠讚賞那使人清醒的冷風… Wikiquote®